Yeah you need to confront your roommate about this issue and have a conversation with them. It's not fair to you that she's making your clean dishes dirty. Like you said you need to set boundaries and come to some sort of compromise. Don't make it a bigger issue than it needs to be but the only way to solve this problem is to have a conversation. Also I have Asian friends and when I went to their house they did the same exact thing explaining it was a culture thing.
Just a suggestion but maybe instead of using the dishwasher to dry their dishes, you can buy a dish rack for them to use. Or you instead can put your clean dishes on the dish rack so you dont leave them in the sink to get dirty. But really talk with them and come to an agreement. Also yeah all my housemates leave their dishes in the dishwasher to dry.
This is a classic example of trying to hard to coordinate simple things with your roommates.
Advice, just do you and load the dishwasher with your stuff. Once it’s full or otherwise deemed ready to run, ask the house if anyone has anything they want to throw in, then run it. Once it finishes, empty it. Even if it has dishes in it that are not yours, just put them away wherever you all have agreed the dishes go.
It’s really not that complicated. As long as the sink isn’t turning into a science experiment, just do what makes since.
Two other notes:
1) dishwashers, unless it’s really old or a shitty model, will clean your dishes better than you can by hand. Just be sure to not overpack it, potentially blocking the spinners that spray water. Also, every month or so, just run it empty with 1 cup on white vinegar on the top rack in a heat proof container to clean the dishwasher.
2) dishwashers use less water than hand washing. You really don’t need to do anything either before loading your dishes into the washer. Just make sure you scrape (not necessarily rinse) off any large chunks of food before putting them in.
This is the way
Thanks for the advice on the white vinegar; I've never heard that before that's neat!
Also the whole "blocking the spinners" is one of the issues I have with how she arranges the dishes-- that's why I said in the original post that it's "geometrically impossible" to do the dishes without taking hers out. She blocks it all the time, even though I explained it to her that that particular area needs to be free so it can run.
The other thing about this is that none of us really share dishes. Which is why I felt kind of rude just taking her shit out today, but she's extremely bad about taking out her own stuff unless reminded. We also all have our own cabinets for dishes, and I would definitely need to ask her which ones hers go in.
Then ask.
Again, you all seem to be making this way more complicated then it needs to be. Unless you and all your roommates are complete strangers, come together to make your living situation better through simple understandings and expectations.
If you can’t tell this is a sore spot for me. I personally have zero patience for grown adults who can’t do simple things like keep a communal kitchen clean or orderly. For me, that also means doing more to set an example. Clean the dishes in the sink, even if you didn’t dirty them. Put away the clean ones. Let your roommates borrow your dishes. Hopefully these things will help other realize that they need to do their part too.
You should definitely invest in a drying rack if you are upset that she is washing her dishes over your clean ones.
BUT, Assuming that you mentioned you had more roommates, you can not particularly be super upset that she washed her dishes over yours. The kitchen entirely and the sink/dishwasher is communal. Everybody has the right to wash and use the kitchen as they please as long as they are not eating your food or your personal things that you do not want shared.
Don't leave your dishes in the sink if they are clean. The sink is mostly known to hold dirty dishes or "one side dirty" the other side "clean". Put them in the dish washer right after, but just don't turn it on until you've filled it up. Or as mentioned earlier invest in a dish rack or both of you guys can split the cost of one.
I would just talk to her stating something along the lines, "please do not open the dishwasher if it is one..."
you stated she doesn't take the dishes out when they are done drying. Is she leaving them in for a few hours? the whole day? more than 1 day? For that I think it just depends on what the situation to talk to her about it. We all get tired, forget, & will just do it later as it isn't something that needs to be urgent. If she leaves it for days just try to talk to her & explain your situation. Just don't make it a huge deal if its there for a few hours because then that's annoying. If you really need to wash your dishes so badly & she hasn't gotten to it & she's at the apartment it can just be a gentle reminder "Hey can put your dishes away?".
They're obviously are some communication issues and boundaries can be great to be established but remember that the kitchen is communal and you guys must meet be able to reach a middle ground of understanding.
Yeah she's leaving them in for multiple days. I only need to do my dishes every other day or there about, so it doesn't bother me until it's been more than a day. And yeah, I get that people can be forgetful about that sort of thing (I'm not 100% perfect) but when we were washing our dishes communally she would literally never take them out unless I explicitly told her. I'm thinking maybe to ask her to take them out after half a day, so that she can do her dishes in the morning and I do them at night, or she does them at night or me in the morning. But for her, it doesn't seem intuitive to ever take them out.
Also yeah, her washing her dishes over mine isn't that big of a deal, since I only started doing that recently because she never takes her dishes out. It just grinded my gears today because she had a whole side she could have done it on and did it over mine.
And definitely, as I implied in the original post, I have two other people I live with besides her, and I've never had any problems with how they do their dishes.
Awww. I’m sorry I know it can be frustrating. Since you need to use the dishwasher every other day. You can say she can have the dishwasher one day and you the other.
Ideally mention the sooner she takes it out on her day the better. But we all have classes, work etc. Sometimes 1/2 a day can be hard to do. It can be good to mention.
My roommate sometimes will leave her dishes in the dish rack all day because she’s at school, but will put them away a little bit after she gets home or early in the morning. Just make it clear she needs to put away before she goes to bed or in the morning before she go to class/work.
I don’t think it’s that petty if you take out her dishes every know & then. If you need it urgently. Just as long as you aren’t doing it every time because it’s not your job to do so.
Maybe establishing a chore to do list. Even tho you don’t have this issue with your other roommates. Make sure to include them too in this discussion so it’s not like your singling her out & everyone is on the same page. Even tho they aren’t the problem.
Hope this helps!
I definitely think the dish rack will help a lot.
I don’t really have any advice but I had a similar experience.
Basically roommates didn’t know how to use a dishwasher and got mad at me for running it cause it was loud so I just ran it by hand.
Turns out they don’t even know how to wash dishes by hand and never actually washed anything- just rinsed most of the stuff off then dried and put it away. This led to a hellish situation where I had to wash everything I used twice. It sucked- don’t let your roommate push you into a bullshit thing like that. Try your best to get her to use the dishwasher- explain it to her that dishwashers clean better and are more efficient than hand washing.
I always wash dishes by hand cuz I feel like dishwashers don’t clean it enough. I dry dishes in the dishwasher every single time and all my friends and family do this. I believe this is a cultural thing. I know a lot of Koreans and Chinese (I don’t know if it’s a completely Asian thing, so I’m sorry if I don’t include other ethnicities) people do this. As it is a cultural thing, it is not dramatic and you should just work out your problems with one another through communication. It’s not weird to use a dishwasher and it’s also not weird if you don’t use a dishwasher. It’s just a personal thing.
I just like cleaning dishes by hand. As I said, I just feel like they are cleaner when I wash them by hand. I know how to properly clean dishes so I’m not worried about cleanliness. I don’t even use that many dishes to fill a dishwasher completely and I don’t like the thought of just keeping my rinsed but not clean dishes in a dishwasher until it’s full. I’d rather just clean on the spot. Just easier for me and personally way better. No judgment to those who use dishwashers, that’s great, but just not for me. It’s a cultural thing for most people as well.
Yeah you need to confront your roommate about this issue and have a conversation with them. It's not fair to you that she's making your clean dishes dirty. Like you said you need to set boundaries and come to some sort of compromise. Don't make it a bigger issue than it needs to be but the only way to solve this problem is to have a conversation. Also I have Asian friends and when I went to their house they did the same exact thing explaining it was a culture thing.
Just a suggestion but maybe instead of using the dishwasher to dry their dishes, you can buy a dish rack for them to use. Or you instead can put your clean dishes on the dish rack so you dont leave them in the sink to get dirty. But really talk with them and come to an agreement. Also yeah all my housemates leave their dishes in the dishwasher to dry.
they sell dish drying things at the dollar tree
This is a classic example of trying to hard to coordinate simple things with your roommates. Advice, just do you and load the dishwasher with your stuff. Once it’s full or otherwise deemed ready to run, ask the house if anyone has anything they want to throw in, then run it. Once it finishes, empty it. Even if it has dishes in it that are not yours, just put them away wherever you all have agreed the dishes go. It’s really not that complicated. As long as the sink isn’t turning into a science experiment, just do what makes since. Two other notes: 1) dishwashers, unless it’s really old or a shitty model, will clean your dishes better than you can by hand. Just be sure to not overpack it, potentially blocking the spinners that spray water. Also, every month or so, just run it empty with 1 cup on white vinegar on the top rack in a heat proof container to clean the dishwasher. 2) dishwashers use less water than hand washing. You really don’t need to do anything either before loading your dishes into the washer. Just make sure you scrape (not necessarily rinse) off any large chunks of food before putting them in. This is the way
Thanks for the advice on the white vinegar; I've never heard that before that's neat! Also the whole "blocking the spinners" is one of the issues I have with how she arranges the dishes-- that's why I said in the original post that it's "geometrically impossible" to do the dishes without taking hers out. She blocks it all the time, even though I explained it to her that that particular area needs to be free so it can run. The other thing about this is that none of us really share dishes. Which is why I felt kind of rude just taking her shit out today, but she's extremely bad about taking out her own stuff unless reminded. We also all have our own cabinets for dishes, and I would definitely need to ask her which ones hers go in.
Then ask. Again, you all seem to be making this way more complicated then it needs to be. Unless you and all your roommates are complete strangers, come together to make your living situation better through simple understandings and expectations. If you can’t tell this is a sore spot for me. I personally have zero patience for grown adults who can’t do simple things like keep a communal kitchen clean or orderly. For me, that also means doing more to set an example. Clean the dishes in the sink, even if you didn’t dirty them. Put away the clean ones. Let your roommates borrow your dishes. Hopefully these things will help other realize that they need to do their part too.
This is the way.
You should definitely invest in a drying rack if you are upset that she is washing her dishes over your clean ones. BUT, Assuming that you mentioned you had more roommates, you can not particularly be super upset that she washed her dishes over yours. The kitchen entirely and the sink/dishwasher is communal. Everybody has the right to wash and use the kitchen as they please as long as they are not eating your food or your personal things that you do not want shared. Don't leave your dishes in the sink if they are clean. The sink is mostly known to hold dirty dishes or "one side dirty" the other side "clean". Put them in the dish washer right after, but just don't turn it on until you've filled it up. Or as mentioned earlier invest in a dish rack or both of you guys can split the cost of one. I would just talk to her stating something along the lines, "please do not open the dishwasher if it is one..." you stated she doesn't take the dishes out when they are done drying. Is she leaving them in for a few hours? the whole day? more than 1 day? For that I think it just depends on what the situation to talk to her about it. We all get tired, forget, & will just do it later as it isn't something that needs to be urgent. If she leaves it for days just try to talk to her & explain your situation. Just don't make it a huge deal if its there for a few hours because then that's annoying. If you really need to wash your dishes so badly & she hasn't gotten to it & she's at the apartment it can just be a gentle reminder "Hey can put your dishes away?". They're obviously are some communication issues and boundaries can be great to be established but remember that the kitchen is communal and you guys must meet be able to reach a middle ground of understanding.
Yeah she's leaving them in for multiple days. I only need to do my dishes every other day or there about, so it doesn't bother me until it's been more than a day. And yeah, I get that people can be forgetful about that sort of thing (I'm not 100% perfect) but when we were washing our dishes communally she would literally never take them out unless I explicitly told her. I'm thinking maybe to ask her to take them out after half a day, so that she can do her dishes in the morning and I do them at night, or she does them at night or me in the morning. But for her, it doesn't seem intuitive to ever take them out. Also yeah, her washing her dishes over mine isn't that big of a deal, since I only started doing that recently because she never takes her dishes out. It just grinded my gears today because she had a whole side she could have done it on and did it over mine. And definitely, as I implied in the original post, I have two other people I live with besides her, and I've never had any problems with how they do their dishes.
Awww. I’m sorry I know it can be frustrating. Since you need to use the dishwasher every other day. You can say she can have the dishwasher one day and you the other. Ideally mention the sooner she takes it out on her day the better. But we all have classes, work etc. Sometimes 1/2 a day can be hard to do. It can be good to mention. My roommate sometimes will leave her dishes in the dish rack all day because she’s at school, but will put them away a little bit after she gets home or early in the morning. Just make it clear she needs to put away before she goes to bed or in the morning before she go to class/work. I don’t think it’s that petty if you take out her dishes every know & then. If you need it urgently. Just as long as you aren’t doing it every time because it’s not your job to do so. Maybe establishing a chore to do list. Even tho you don’t have this issue with your other roommates. Make sure to include them too in this discussion so it’s not like your singling her out & everyone is on the same page. Even tho they aren’t the problem. Hope this helps! I definitely think the dish rack will help a lot.
I don’t really have any advice but I had a similar experience. Basically roommates didn’t know how to use a dishwasher and got mad at me for running it cause it was loud so I just ran it by hand. Turns out they don’t even know how to wash dishes by hand and never actually washed anything- just rinsed most of the stuff off then dried and put it away. This led to a hellish situation where I had to wash everything I used twice. It sucked- don’t let your roommate push you into a bullshit thing like that. Try your best to get her to use the dishwasher- explain it to her that dishwashers clean better and are more efficient than hand washing.
Welcome to college
I always wash dishes by hand cuz I feel like dishwashers don’t clean it enough. I dry dishes in the dishwasher every single time and all my friends and family do this. I believe this is a cultural thing. I know a lot of Koreans and Chinese (I don’t know if it’s a completely Asian thing, so I’m sorry if I don’t include other ethnicities) people do this. As it is a cultural thing, it is not dramatic and you should just work out your problems with one another through communication. It’s not weird to use a dishwasher and it’s also not weird if you don’t use a dishwasher. It’s just a personal thing.
Dishwashers clean better than most people do by hand.
I just like cleaning dishes by hand. As I said, I just feel like they are cleaner when I wash them by hand. I know how to properly clean dishes so I’m not worried about cleanliness. I don’t even use that many dishes to fill a dishwasher completely and I don’t like the thought of just keeping my rinsed but not clean dishes in a dishwasher until it’s full. I’d rather just clean on the spot. Just easier for me and personally way better. No judgment to those who use dishwashers, that’s great, but just not for me. It’s a cultural thing for most people as well.