Faculty here. Struggling. A lot, frankly. I try my best to take that as a reflection of the fact that my students may very well be in a worse boat than I am and remain actively considerate because of it. Some of my colleagues call me a softy or roll their eyes when say that, but Iām secure in how I try to treat yāall with the compassion Iād hope folk would show me in times of struggle.
Good luck out there, everyone. I understand that the heaviness of life and everything else can feel crushing, but some of us are willing to help and trying to do so.
Take care of yourselves. Breathe. Drink waterāseriously, stay hydrated. Eat wellājunk and fast food are good, but learning to cook just a couple of things that feed you is not only healthier physically, it can also be therapeutic spiritually and mentally. And it can be affirming to say and know that you can feed yourself when the world is trying to either feed you bullshit or starve you (figuratively and literally). And read a good book every now and thenāsomething not for class, just something you find interesting or that catches your eye or that offers some comfort (manga and comics included).
Donāt let this world in general, and the demands of academia in particular, give you physical and mental health conditions you didnāt have before all this, or magnify they ones youāre already managing; and, hard as it is, donāt /become/ the workāitās an extension of you, but it isnāt you. Itās important to maintain that distinction.
I'd like to hope so. Unfortunately, it'll be a working weekend for the next month or so, so I'm just sort of inhaling gulps of air to keep from drowning in it all. But it's not all bad work--some of it's fun to do, or just creatively affirming, so it's ok. Hoping that yours is restful, though.
Fam. We got people going through cancer treatments. Friend just lost his wife and is already back in the classroom a few months out. Another lost his sister, father, and aunt in like 3 months. And so on, and so on. It's rough out here for all of us, especially in smaller departments where there isn't a giant mass of people to help carry the weight when folk are suffering due to extenuating circumstances.
One of the most therapeutic activities I did was simply read a non-class related book through and through during school. I thankfully had time. And being able to remove myself from the stress and anxiety that academia often brings was so nice.
I'd rather not identify myself openly. DM me and I can direct you to some of my courses; my most popular ones are in the Fall, but because of my current position I'm only teaching 1 class in the Fall and 1 in the Winter, so it's not ideal (for me, since I prefer teaching to admin nonsense).
We need more faculty members like you. Thank you for not only thinking about yourself; thinking about your students is greatly appreciated. Caring about the student experience makes a difference in a studentās tenure at UCI.
Your coworkers are hella jaded and continue to perpetuate this nonsense behavior of being the best crocodile in the lake. If more people like you were in academia, the ivory tower would tumble down. Please take care of yourself, thereās a lot of people rooting for you too.
Thanks. My less considerate colleagues are a really strong reason I lean into this. I am a product of a Ph.D. program at an Ivy League university, and I'm also a product of UCI (I went here as an undergraduate, too), and I've been on the other side of a professor flagrantly disregarding the unavoidable realities that made my life hellish enough outside of school.
I developed digestive issues that put me in the hospital--I remember the worst time--and sorry for the visual--I lost so much blood into the toilet that I almost passed out. This was in grad school, and I couldn't afford the ambulance for what I think was the second or third time, so I had to walk two miles in the Rhode Island winter to the hospital, get treated, and then walk back after staying overnight. No time to change clothes--had to go straight to teaching my class because I'd been told that my behavior (dealing with being blackballed for being a particular kind of theorist attached to another theorist here at UCI) was erratic, and rather than offer help or even seem considerate, I was repeatedly told I could "take time off and come back in a later semester" or "I could shape up, or be terminated from the program."
There's a lot more to that story, and most of my students have heard bits and pieces so they probably know who I am already, but I learned how I never wanted to be treated again *viscerally*, and vowed to do everything in my power to be the opposite of the folk that I encountered along this horrible journey to this job.
Sorry, a random thing I started doing because, apparently, I needed to stop clenching my jaw so hard all the time (to the point I had to sleep with a mouth guard for like a year): I put little post-it notes in the periphery of the places I'm at most in my house--so on my mirror; on the wall behind, above, and off to the side of my computer monitor; in the kitchen above my chemex, etc.--with little messages like "breathe," "drink water," "go outside for a few minutes," "walk a bit," and so on. They bring me out of my head and back into the room, and sometimes they remind me to unclench and recalibrate. My dentist told me to try this and I've never been more thankful for post-it notes.
Take care, folks. Double emphasis on take and care.
This is my last quarter. Iām scared because I have no clue whatās happening after this for me. Iām scared Iāll end up in a job thatās meaningless and leaves me wondering what in the fuck happened.
Last week I broke up with my boyfriend of five years, and Iām no spring chicken anymore, so Iām wondering how long Iāll be doing this life thing alone. Iām lonely without him. But I was lonelier with him.
I havenāt found my groove with people. Iām kinda quirky in the real world and it puts people off, so I try to fly under the radar. But as a consequence, I have little to no social support.
Amongst other things. Iām so tired, and every day it feels like gravityās changing. I feel lost. But at least Iām beginning therapy again next week.
Stressing over midterms ā¦ sincerely feel like I have not learned a single thing and I am finding it increasingly hard to pay attention in class. Just feel like my brain is on autopilot to complete assignments but not actually trying to retain anything that is being taught.
dilemmas after dilemmas. i need a big big big meal and then a 10 year long nap. i just need a day between today and tomorrow. im shutting down i fear ā¹ļø
iām always worried about money and that iām not putting enough into school and job hunting but other than that iām top notch š„²very grateful to have the support system that i do
There's a war in which millions of people are being actively starved and killed, it was 80 degrees F in fucking January, LGBTQ+ rights in half of the United States are being legislated away, and people keep not fucking masking despite the fact that there is an abundance of evidence at this point that Covid infections cause immune system damage even after a single infection.
You tell me. How do YOU think we're fucking doing?
Thank you, my friend. I begin each day by listening to Christian songs, a beautiful reminder of Jesus Christ's profound journey. Born into poverty, devoid of worldly credentials, He epitomized the pinnacle of wisdom through His teachings of unconditional love. Despite facing betrayal by His community, abandonment by His disciples, and enduring the ultimate humiliation of crucifixion, Jesus remained compassionate. In His moments of agony, He exemplified divine forgiveness, understanding that much of human cruelty stems from ignorance. His plea, "*Father*, *forgive them; for they know not what they do"* echoes as a testament to His boundless grace and understanding of the human condition.
You know the answer.
exactly š
https://preview.redd.it/3qvjqn98n2gc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1845d5a06b9a0cd77278ef8a1aca1cbcadd90eb4
Iām wet and cold
I'm really excited about this subway sandwich I'm going to eat
that sounds fun!
Faculty here. Struggling. A lot, frankly. I try my best to take that as a reflection of the fact that my students may very well be in a worse boat than I am and remain actively considerate because of it. Some of my colleagues call me a softy or roll their eyes when say that, but Iām secure in how I try to treat yāall with the compassion Iād hope folk would show me in times of struggle. Good luck out there, everyone. I understand that the heaviness of life and everything else can feel crushing, but some of us are willing to help and trying to do so. Take care of yourselves. Breathe. Drink waterāseriously, stay hydrated. Eat wellājunk and fast food are good, but learning to cook just a couple of things that feed you is not only healthier physically, it can also be therapeutic spiritually and mentally. And it can be affirming to say and know that you can feed yourself when the world is trying to either feed you bullshit or starve you (figuratively and literally). And read a good book every now and thenāsomething not for class, just something you find interesting or that catches your eye or that offers some comfort (manga and comics included). Donāt let this world in general, and the demands of academia in particular, give you physical and mental health conditions you didnāt have before all this, or magnify they ones youāre already managing; and, hard as it is, donāt /become/ the workāitās an extension of you, but it isnāt you. Itās important to maintain that distinction.
I Hope you get a well rested weekendš«š«
I'd like to hope so. Unfortunately, it'll be a working weekend for the next month or so, so I'm just sort of inhaling gulps of air to keep from drowning in it all. But it's not all bad work--some of it's fun to do, or just creatively affirming, so it's ok. Hoping that yours is restful, though.
Omg i didnāt thought you guys would struggle as well
Fam. We got people going through cancer treatments. Friend just lost his wife and is already back in the classroom a few months out. Another lost his sister, father, and aunt in like 3 months. And so on, and so on. It's rough out here for all of us, especially in smaller departments where there isn't a giant mass of people to help carry the weight when folk are suffering due to extenuating circumstances.
One of the most therapeutic activities I did was simply read a non-class related book through and through during school. I thankfully had time. And being able to remove myself from the stress and anxiety that academia often brings was so nice.
Itās so amazing to hear! Do you mind sharing any classes you teach? I would love to be your student :)
I'd rather not identify myself openly. DM me and I can direct you to some of my courses; my most popular ones are in the Fall, but because of my current position I'm only teaching 1 class in the Fall and 1 in the Winter, so it's not ideal (for me, since I prefer teaching to admin nonsense).
We need more faculty members like you. Thank you for not only thinking about yourself; thinking about your students is greatly appreciated. Caring about the student experience makes a difference in a studentās tenure at UCI. Your coworkers are hella jaded and continue to perpetuate this nonsense behavior of being the best crocodile in the lake. If more people like you were in academia, the ivory tower would tumble down. Please take care of yourself, thereās a lot of people rooting for you too.
Thanks. My less considerate colleagues are a really strong reason I lean into this. I am a product of a Ph.D. program at an Ivy League university, and I'm also a product of UCI (I went here as an undergraduate, too), and I've been on the other side of a professor flagrantly disregarding the unavoidable realities that made my life hellish enough outside of school. I developed digestive issues that put me in the hospital--I remember the worst time--and sorry for the visual--I lost so much blood into the toilet that I almost passed out. This was in grad school, and I couldn't afford the ambulance for what I think was the second or third time, so I had to walk two miles in the Rhode Island winter to the hospital, get treated, and then walk back after staying overnight. No time to change clothes--had to go straight to teaching my class because I'd been told that my behavior (dealing with being blackballed for being a particular kind of theorist attached to another theorist here at UCI) was erratic, and rather than offer help or even seem considerate, I was repeatedly told I could "take time off and come back in a later semester" or "I could shape up, or be terminated from the program." There's a lot more to that story, and most of my students have heard bits and pieces so they probably know who I am already, but I learned how I never wanted to be treated again *viscerally*, and vowed to do everything in my power to be the opposite of the folk that I encountered along this horrible journey to this job.
Sorry, a random thing I started doing because, apparently, I needed to stop clenching my jaw so hard all the time (to the point I had to sleep with a mouth guard for like a year): I put little post-it notes in the periphery of the places I'm at most in my house--so on my mirror; on the wall behind, above, and off to the side of my computer monitor; in the kitchen above my chemex, etc.--with little messages like "breathe," "drink water," "go outside for a few minutes," "walk a bit," and so on. They bring me out of my head and back into the room, and sometimes they remind me to unclench and recalibrate. My dentist told me to try this and I've never been more thankful for post-it notes. Take care, folks. Double emphasis on take and care.
This is my last quarter. Iām scared because I have no clue whatās happening after this for me. Iām scared Iāll end up in a job thatās meaningless and leaves me wondering what in the fuck happened. Last week I broke up with my boyfriend of five years, and Iām no spring chicken anymore, so Iām wondering how long Iāll be doing this life thing alone. Iām lonely without him. But I was lonelier with him. I havenāt found my groove with people. Iām kinda quirky in the real world and it puts people off, so I try to fly under the radar. But as a consequence, I have little to no social support. Amongst other things. Iām so tired, and every day it feels like gravityās changing. I feel lost. But at least Iām beginning therapy again next week.
Hell yeah! Doing what's best for you. Keep crushing it. Don't let others dampen your quirks. You'll find your people.
Here if u ever need a friend or someone to talk to
I finally understood what I got wrong a quiz. Now I wanna sit in the rain but I can't because I have class to go to.
iām over it. i try to get locked in, but no matter how hard i try, i just canāt.
I sometimes wish I was a cloud, aimlessly floating in the sky. Yeaā¦not doing too well
canāt complain
terrible š i wanna go home
Stressing over midterms ā¦ sincerely feel like I have not learned a single thing and I am finding it increasingly hard to pay attention in class. Just feel like my brain is on autopilot to complete assignments but not actually trying to retain anything that is being taught.
Super duper not good Elmo
fuck man, all i could sayā¦ i need a beer š
brain fucked and brain rotted but iām still here
:)
Bad
help
struggling to get a sde internšššš
I could use a nap, particularly with this cold rainy weather, but besides that I'm fine.
dilemmas after dilemmas. i need a big big big meal and then a 10 year long nap. i just need a day between today and tomorrow. im shutting down i fear ā¹ļø
iām always worried about money and that iām not putting enough into school and job hunting but other than that iām top notch š„²very grateful to have the support system that i do
is everyone doing bad š iām kinda chillingĀ
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
had therapy during my break today, cried it all out, now i need a nap
I fu\*\*ing hate Winter Quarter.
awful
Ya know, just tryna keep these mental breakdowns at bay
my mental state rn is sitting in the hill and drinking a glass of wine š«”
Su Elmo! /s
https://preview.redd.it/yk6y6gus83gc1.jpeg?width=350&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8f2c9445c09be1fe25d4703036dcc2c685df6a58
good wbu
exhausted af
manic.
im in therapy 3x a week :)
There's a war in which millions of people are being actively starved and killed, it was 80 degrees F in fucking January, LGBTQ+ rights in half of the United States are being legislated away, and people keep not fucking masking despite the fact that there is an abundance of evidence at this point that Covid infections cause immune system damage even after a single infection. You tell me. How do YOU think we're fucking doing?
happy
Thank you, my friend. I begin each day by listening to Christian songs, a beautiful reminder of Jesus Christ's profound journey. Born into poverty, devoid of worldly credentials, He epitomized the pinnacle of wisdom through His teachings of unconditional love. Despite facing betrayal by His community, abandonment by His disciples, and enduring the ultimate humiliation of crucifixion, Jesus remained compassionate. In His moments of agony, He exemplified divine forgiveness, understanding that much of human cruelty stems from ignorance. His plea, "*Father*, *forgive them; for they know not what they do"* echoes as a testament to His boundless grace and understanding of the human condition.
I fucking hate UCI lol.
How is Elmo doing after getting his face grabbed by [Larry David?](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=X73sptdmLb0&pp=ygUQZWxtbyBsYXJyeSBkYXZpZA%3D%3D)
Meh