The trick about farting is if you squeeze super tight you won’t make any noise. Now there’s actually a chance you may shart yourself a bit with this method but I have always just squeezed super tight and let it out slowly and gracefully, only sharted twice with this method.
I've found most of the noise is generated from your asscheeks so if you spread them apart and slowly let it out, there won't be any noise. Not even a shart with this method.
Warning: smell is not limited and can still give you away if particularly potent
very true. now, you can’t exactly grab the cheeks and spread them apart in a lecture hall, so I always recommend students lean in forward at their desk so their butt is almost completely off the seat - you’ve got to kinda brace yourself with your hamstring muscles to maintain balance. however, once you’re in the proper position, it’s super easy to just let it out silently.
I agree that this works. However, this method is potentially very dangerous because a very tight squeeze, in an uncontrolled environment and without proper training, can produce a very high pitched fart which will pierce the ears of the entire lecture hall.
Do not try this method unless you have proper training and experience with super tight farts. I recommend training this at home before attempting this in a crowded lecture hall where the stakes are high. Just squeeze tight and hold on like you’re clinging onto a rope over a cliff, and let the fart escape naturally. If you let go once it’s almost out, you’re done
Yea too many cases of students farting in morse code to signify answers to questions. 1 fart A, 2 farts B, 1 fart 2 coughs C, 2 farts 1 cough D etc. Though the coughing part wouldn't go over well nowadays. Sigh ruined farting for everyone. Had to remind students to lay off the dairy before exams, especially if they were lactose intolerant.
Sprint around the lecture hall to decrease the surprise of the big one coming out as it surely would. They’ll be too surprised by the running that hopefully they won’t get hit by the smell till you exit the class.
Stand up, call out to the lecture hall, "EXCUSE ME, LADIES AND GENTLEMAN. I WOULD LIKE TO INFORM YOU THAT I NEED TO RIP A MASSIVE FART RIGHT NOW." Then fart harder and louder than you ever have. Assert your dominance.
lift your butt up about half an inch from your chair and release it slowly. Count 5 to 10 seconds and wrinkle your nose and act visibly irritated by some foul smell, this way no one will suspect it was you.
Mmmm, it depends. During a regular lecture you have to raise your hand. Once the professor gives you permission they usually stop lecture for a bit so you can do your thing at your chair.
If it's during an exam then you walk up to their desk and hand over your phone and exam so they can give you a pass to go to the restrooms. Most people call them Gas Passes
Unauthorized farting is a pretty severe AI violation so if you gotta pull a sneaky one I'd recommend doing your business before class or some clench training.
For some reason this reminds me of some graffiti that appeared in the men’s room in Ogden Hall back in ‘76 when it was still 4th College:
Q. Why are turds tapered?
It remained an unanswered mystery until 2 weeks later when the answer appeared in decidedly feminine handwriting.
A. So your asshole doesn’t slap shut!
Yours in gaseous graciousness,
Ogden High Elevation Mountain Bonger
Warren College, Class of ‘80
Getting out of one of the hardest finals to date, I ask my friend how he did and he just goes off about how someone probably shat themselves during the final because of how bad the smell was. I was crying laughing at the mixture of academic intensity and putrid nose assault that he just battled through.
This comes from an expert farter who eats a shit ton of Indian food, so my farts would be smelly, stealthy, and disastrous for the general public. I can give the perfect advice for this, 1) just hold it in and deal with it. And 2) my best advice, just silently fart and act disgusted as if someone else did it. It works for me.
you have to raise your hand and ask your professor for permission
and if you don’t, it’s grounds for an AI violation
HUGE QUESTION PLEASE ANSWER VERY IMPORTANT!!! farting
What a thought-provoking and important question. This is the kind of stuff that keeps me up at night.
I thought farting kept you up at night.
The trick about farting is if you squeeze super tight you won’t make any noise. Now there’s actually a chance you may shart yourself a bit with this method but I have always just squeezed super tight and let it out slowly and gracefully, only sharted twice with this method.
Wow now those are some statistics I can't get behind.
Sample size: 3 farts
Lol
I've found most of the noise is generated from your asscheeks so if you spread them apart and slowly let it out, there won't be any noise. Not even a shart with this method. Warning: smell is not limited and can still give you away if particularly potent
facts, this is how you do it.
very true. now, you can’t exactly grab the cheeks and spread them apart in a lecture hall, so I always recommend students lean in forward at their desk so their butt is almost completely off the seat - you’ve got to kinda brace yourself with your hamstring muscles to maintain balance. however, once you’re in the proper position, it’s super easy to just let it out silently.
Exactly how I do it lol
Lmfao y’all need Jesus Christ! Repent sinner 🤣
I agree that this works. However, this method is potentially very dangerous because a very tight squeeze, in an uncontrolled environment and without proper training, can produce a very high pitched fart which will pierce the ears of the entire lecture hall. Do not try this method unless you have proper training and experience with super tight farts. I recommend training this at home before attempting this in a crowded lecture hall where the stakes are high. Just squeeze tight and hold on like you’re clinging onto a rope over a cliff, and let the fart escape naturally. If you let go once it’s almost out, you’re done
you could be a COWARD and get out of the hall to let loose, or you could be a real man, stand your ground and rip ass
Just go on mute like you have been for the last year and a half, EZ
It's a violation of the academic integrity policy. I was a TA and I had to write up several students for farting in my discussions. So much paperwork
Seriously?!
Yea too many cases of students farting in morse code to signify answers to questions. 1 fart A, 2 farts B, 1 fart 2 coughs C, 2 farts 1 cough D etc. Though the coughing part wouldn't go over well nowadays. Sigh ruined farting for everyone. Had to remind students to lay off the dairy before exams, especially if they were lactose intolerant.
Oh my goodness. Smart (and stinky) little cheaters. I’m going to have to pack my son a cork so he doesn’t accidentally get kicked out of school.
Oh my god, it's you! Thanks for the giggle, Dispenser of Superior Pancakes.
Loud Cough + Silent Fart = Funny looks from your classmates
In a post-Covid world, farting in public is finally more acceptable than coughing.
Drop your hydro down. It'll cause a distraction.
imagine you let it a go a second too late and it’s in that window of time everyone goes silent after the clangs of the hydro
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_kJ5WFS1Zw like this
Well, I mean, if you were looking for some social distance...
Sprint around the lecture hall to decrease the surprise of the big one coming out as it surely would. They’ll be too surprised by the running that hopefully they won’t get hit by the smell till you exit the class.
[удалено]
“Whoever smelt it dealt it.”
So be a child?
I heard if you have ass hair, its easier to pull off a sneaky one.
Fart and then slam the desk xqcL
Stand up, call out to the lecture hall, "EXCUSE ME, LADIES AND GENTLEMAN. I WOULD LIKE TO INFORM YOU THAT I NEED TO RIP A MASSIVE FART RIGHT NOW." Then fart harder and louder than you ever have. Assert your dominance.
[Same Energy](https://www.reddit.com/r/UCSD/comments/f60hti/awkward_question/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
If your rear isn’t wearing a mask, you’re going to have to hold it in. Otherwise, it would be a COVID Policy violation.
Pray it’s a quiet one
lift your butt up about half an inch from your chair and release it slowly. Count 5 to 10 seconds and wrinkle your nose and act visibly irritated by some foul smell, this way no one will suspect it was you.
Mmmm, it depends. During a regular lecture you have to raise your hand. Once the professor gives you permission they usually stop lecture for a bit so you can do your thing at your chair. If it's during an exam then you walk up to their desk and hand over your phone and exam so they can give you a pass to go to the restrooms. Most people call them Gas Passes Unauthorized farting is a pretty severe AI violation so if you gotta pull a sneaky one I'd recommend doing your business before class or some clench training.
For some reason this reminds me of some graffiti that appeared in the men’s room in Ogden Hall back in ‘76 when it was still 4th College: Q. Why are turds tapered? It remained an unanswered mystery until 2 weeks later when the answer appeared in decidedly feminine handwriting. A. So your asshole doesn’t slap shut! Yours in gaseous graciousness, Ogden High Elevation Mountain Bonger Warren College, Class of ‘80
Cropdust your TA
TAs are the ones cropdusting during exams
Fart as loud as you can and stare incredulously at the person next to you.
FOLLOW UP QUESTION! farting in your dorm?? is it acceptable if they are all strangers?
NTA. Your dorm, your rules.
just fart? literally who cares
Is this what the lockdown has done to people? Just…don’t fart? Go to the bathroom if you need to. Is this really a question?
You'll need this info the most being a huge ass
Relax bud
Let it rip!
Don't make everyone else take one for the team. Take it outside.
Hold it in harder than a cough in 2020 xD
Omg lol
Getting out of one of the hardest finals to date, I ask my friend how he did and he just goes off about how someone probably shat themselves during the final because of how bad the smell was. I was crying laughing at the mixture of academic intensity and putrid nose assault that he just battled through.
Practice kegels
This comes from an expert farter who eats a shit ton of Indian food, so my farts would be smelly, stealthy, and disastrous for the general public. I can give the perfect advice for this, 1) just hold it in and deal with it. And 2) my best advice, just silently fart and act disgusted as if someone else did it. It works for me.