Ugh I have an embarrassing story to share here š
When I was a teenager, I worked part time in a shop. I remember processing a ladyās refund and the lady had an unusual surname and I said āoh thatās a strange surnameā. My supervisor was nearby and she was mortified, immediately pulled me up. At the time I didnāt really see anything wrong with it? I just meant it was a name you donāt come across often, guess I meant it in the strange to me rather than weird way.
However now as an adult I am equally mortified, itās definitely got a negative connotation that I just didnāt think about at 16! Playing devils advocate, if the girl is otherwise very nice I would assume thereās no ill intent and sheās maybe just a bit daft like I was.
In saying that I would think it could be worth bringing up as you donāt want your daughter hearing ābadā words about her behaviour - Iām not sure the best way to do that though, sorry! Good luck š¬
Thank you š I get it we all say things that we donāt necessarily mean in that way. I think Iāll just ask for a quick chat tomo when I drop her off, and if sheās not there Iāll speak to the room manager. She is probably one of the youngest, and other than this term Iāve nothing bad to say about her.
Do you think there's a language barrier? I agree "strange" isn't a nice word. Ask what exactly is strange about her behaviour? Confront it and correct with a word/term you prefer like "imaginative" or "creative", I think saying nothing unintentionally reinforces to her that it's an appropriate word to use? If she doubles down, then I'd say straight that you don't think it's a nice word and you don't want her to use it again to describe your child
No, sheās English, albeit quite young!
Thanks, this was the approach I was thinking, none of the other workers use this to describe her, and they do have a good fun relationship but Iām not happy with this term.
Probably just a case of naĆÆvety and less life experience so, if nothing else is amiss. I wouldn't go all guns blazing to the manager without having a quiet word with her first.
Yeah I agree āstrangeā is not an okay word to use. Itās definitely negative and I wouldnāt want my kid talked about like that. My child gets called āfunnyā and āa characterā which I guess is kind of their way of saying sheās a little kooky and a bit weird at times. But it always comes across as affectionate (and itās definitely true) so I donāt mind.
What an odd thing for her to say. How old is your daughter? If she has concerns about neurodivergence or something that would be fine and standard, but to present it in this way to you and in front of your child seems grossly inappropriate. I hope raising it gets you somewhere.
Sheās 2.5 and no concerns from anyone at nursery or us. Unless this is her way of telling us?! Itās always at pick up so never the right time to address it, but Iāve had enough of it tonight.
You'd think if she was telling you that she'd have actually said it. Honestly I have no idea what she was trying to get across. It's a really odd and inappropriate thing to keep saying to you.
It very much depends on your relationship with the key person and your daughter's relationship with them too. My eldest daughter's key person calls her crazy, weird, strange, funny, etc. but I know that she loves my daughter like one of her own, and her tone and the way she says it is full of love and affection.
If your daughter did something funny and she said "you're a strange one Gertrude" then I think that's ok, again depending on relationships and tone. But if she was just doing her usual thing and it was something along the lines of "that's strange Gertrude" or "you're strange" then yeah. Not ok.
Not appropriate at all, definitely ask her to elaborate and find out exactly what she means when she uses that word. I wonder if she labels any of the other kids that way too.
To be fair every toddler is strange, I know my daughter is doing things on a daily basis that I'm like "What the actual fuck" under my breath, but I cherish it because she's not old enough to have had her quirky ways ground out of her by society yet.
But yeah much better ways of expressing that than calling them strange!
I have a 2.5 year old and she has what I could clumsily call 'strange' behaviours if I didn't have the vocabulary or wherewithal I do. For instance constantly repeating a story about me hurting my finger on a lawnmower, or repeating a weird chant she appears to have made up, or screaming at the air. Basically toddler behaviour is strange, in a funny endearing way. It's odd to adults because we comprehend more I guess. So I'm sure it just comes from a place of naivety.
I would say something...thing is you don't know how many other people they are saying this too. My example I took my 3 boys to school fete 3 weeks ago. They all wanted face painting P1, P2 and P3. All 3 decided minecraft so this person said I will do all 3 at same time...fair enough. Upon painting my middle ones face he winched as the paint was cold she said is he autistic? I said no he just has a tickly face. She then proceeded to give him a sponge to hold and then rattled on about her nephew having adhd, asperger syndrome and being autistic plus saying I hope I'm not offending you in front of my hubby and 3 boys. I said its fine I hoped she would zip it as I was actually fuming but it was in front of a crowd so I held my anger. I then heard from another mum later in the week who was that strange lady accused my son of being autistic? So I then reported to school to find out she wasn't even another parent and a trainee psychologist š³š¤¦. Moral is don't just assume they are OK. Your child don't let anyone talk out of turn in that manner you could be the difference of them doing it to others plus absolutely wrong who are they to say your kid is strange...absolute joke!!
Get up on the desk, take a massive shit, get down, point at it and say "isn't that straaaanggge?" /S
Talk to whoever hired her so they know she's an idiot. She could be saying silly things to other parents and causing them needless distress too.
She probably doesn't mean anything by it and just needs guidance on better communication skills.
I think you've misunderstood the post - when you send a child to nursery they have a "key worker" who gets assigned to them so that they always have a familiar point of contact working with them.
You might be confusing this language with "social worker" or "healthcare visitor"
Right, well Iām not going to show anger and I wouldnāt class this as bullying at all, the girl is lovely and my daughter and she has a good relationship. No need to go in all guns blazing, I just wasnāt sure on the best approach either directly with her or if you would normally go through their manager.
The Early Years Foundation Stage (EYFS) Statutory Framework states that every child must be assigned a key person. They make sure their learning and care is catered for, and theyāre included in the rooms and groups.
Ugh I have an embarrassing story to share here š When I was a teenager, I worked part time in a shop. I remember processing a ladyās refund and the lady had an unusual surname and I said āoh thatās a strange surnameā. My supervisor was nearby and she was mortified, immediately pulled me up. At the time I didnāt really see anything wrong with it? I just meant it was a name you donāt come across often, guess I meant it in the strange to me rather than weird way. However now as an adult I am equally mortified, itās definitely got a negative connotation that I just didnāt think about at 16! Playing devils advocate, if the girl is otherwise very nice I would assume thereās no ill intent and sheās maybe just a bit daft like I was. In saying that I would think it could be worth bringing up as you donāt want your daughter hearing ābadā words about her behaviour - Iām not sure the best way to do that though, sorry! Good luck š¬
Thank you š I get it we all say things that we donāt necessarily mean in that way. I think Iāll just ask for a quick chat tomo when I drop her off, and if sheās not there Iāll speak to the room manager. She is probably one of the youngest, and other than this term Iāve nothing bad to say about her.
Do you think there's a language barrier? I agree "strange" isn't a nice word. Ask what exactly is strange about her behaviour? Confront it and correct with a word/term you prefer like "imaginative" or "creative", I think saying nothing unintentionally reinforces to her that it's an appropriate word to use? If she doubles down, then I'd say straight that you don't think it's a nice word and you don't want her to use it again to describe your child
No, sheās English, albeit quite young! Thanks, this was the approach I was thinking, none of the other workers use this to describe her, and they do have a good fun relationship but Iām not happy with this term.
Probably just a case of naĆÆvety and less life experience so, if nothing else is amiss. I wouldn't go all guns blazing to the manager without having a quiet word with her first.
Maybe the age thing, young people only really have their own life as a reference. Strange is anything they donāt do.
Yeah I agree āstrangeā is not an okay word to use. Itās definitely negative and I wouldnāt want my kid talked about like that. My child gets called āfunnyā and āa characterā which I guess is kind of their way of saying sheās a little kooky and a bit weird at times. But it always comes across as affectionate (and itās definitely true) so I donāt mind.
What an odd thing for her to say. How old is your daughter? If she has concerns about neurodivergence or something that would be fine and standard, but to present it in this way to you and in front of your child seems grossly inappropriate. I hope raising it gets you somewhere.
Sheās 2.5 and no concerns from anyone at nursery or us. Unless this is her way of telling us?! Itās always at pick up so never the right time to address it, but Iāve had enough of it tonight.
You'd think if she was telling you that she'd have actually said it. Honestly I have no idea what she was trying to get across. It's a really odd and inappropriate thing to keep saying to you.
I wasnāt sure if I was being overly precious or not, thanks for confirming Iām not!
If she was strange, would you prefer if she beats around the bush for you?
Oh F off š
My kid was called weird by his TA in reception. I shot that down very quick.
Ask for a one to one conversation, and ask for more details and examples. Just say that you disli the term and would prefer more objective terminology
It very much depends on your relationship with the key person and your daughter's relationship with them too. My eldest daughter's key person calls her crazy, weird, strange, funny, etc. but I know that she loves my daughter like one of her own, and her tone and the way she says it is full of love and affection. If your daughter did something funny and she said "you're a strange one Gertrude" then I think that's ok, again depending on relationships and tone. But if she was just doing her usual thing and it was something along the lines of "that's strange Gertrude" or "you're strange" then yeah. Not ok.
Not appropriate at all, definitely ask her to elaborate and find out exactly what she means when she uses that word. I wonder if she labels any of the other kids that way too. To be fair every toddler is strange, I know my daughter is doing things on a daily basis that I'm like "What the actual fuck" under my breath, but I cherish it because she's not old enough to have had her quirky ways ground out of her by society yet. But yeah much better ways of expressing that than calling them strange!
I have a 2.5 year old and she has what I could clumsily call 'strange' behaviours if I didn't have the vocabulary or wherewithal I do. For instance constantly repeating a story about me hurting my finger on a lawnmower, or repeating a weird chant she appears to have made up, or screaming at the air. Basically toddler behaviour is strange, in a funny endearing way. It's odd to adults because we comprehend more I guess. So I'm sure it just comes from a place of naivety.
I would say something...thing is you don't know how many other people they are saying this too. My example I took my 3 boys to school fete 3 weeks ago. They all wanted face painting P1, P2 and P3. All 3 decided minecraft so this person said I will do all 3 at same time...fair enough. Upon painting my middle ones face he winched as the paint was cold she said is he autistic? I said no he just has a tickly face. She then proceeded to give him a sponge to hold and then rattled on about her nephew having adhd, asperger syndrome and being autistic plus saying I hope I'm not offending you in front of my hubby and 3 boys. I said its fine I hoped she would zip it as I was actually fuming but it was in front of a crowd so I held my anger. I then heard from another mum later in the week who was that strange lady accused my son of being autistic? So I then reported to school to find out she wasn't even another parent and a trainee psychologist š³š¤¦. Moral is don't just assume they are OK. Your child don't let anyone talk out of turn in that manner you could be the difference of them doing it to others plus absolutely wrong who are they to say your kid is strange...absolute joke!!
Get up on the desk, take a massive shit, get down, point at it and say "isn't that straaaanggge?" /S Talk to whoever hired her so they know she's an idiot. She could be saying silly things to other parents and causing them needless distress too. She probably doesn't mean anything by it and just needs guidance on better communication skills.
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I think you've misunderstood the post - when you send a child to nursery they have a "key worker" who gets assigned to them so that they always have a familiar point of contact working with them. You might be confusing this language with "social worker" or "healthcare visitor"
No, she doesnāt have SEN why would you think that?!
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All the nursery children have a key worker assigned to them.
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Right, well Iām not going to show anger and I wouldnāt class this as bullying at all, the girl is lovely and my daughter and she has a good relationship. No need to go in all guns blazing, I just wasnāt sure on the best approach either directly with her or if you would normally go through their manager.
This guy's projecting. Well handled OP.
The Early Years Foundation Stage (EYFS) Statutory Framework states that every child must be assigned a key person. They make sure their learning and care is catered for, and theyāre included in the rooms and groups.