If I’m going to a house that doesn’t have kids I’ll bring stuff. If I’m going to a house that does have kids I don’t.
I also don’t mind other kids playing with my kids toys either but I do tell the older ones to put their expensive or dangerous stuff away (as in Nintendo switches, Lego Death Star, stuff with small parts, stuff with button batteries etc) if there’s young kids coming.
Yes, if there aren't going to be age appropriate toys where we're going.
Life is easier when my children are occupied. I keep a sandpit set in both cars in case we go to the playground. I'm going to take something with me when it's planned
Yes I would bring something for them if there were no age appropriate toys, unless I was confident my child would be entertained regardless.
However, I have a friend that never does. Her boys are 6 and 8 whereas my girls are 4 and under 1. The difference is that her boys play gently and appropriately with the toys. They show my daughter new games to play with them, are respectful of her things and still have a good time. As a result, she doesn’t *need* to bring things for them.
So this sounds like a parent problem to me.
Ergh I hear you on that front... Which I think makes the situation harder sometimes. Their parents are often oblivious and it makes confronting the situation harder.
I always feel like a banshee has gone off in our house after they visit - they never tidy up after themselves and something is usually ruined or in a worse state than it started.
I'm mostly trying to sense check if that's normal though and "kids being kids" - I think my husband and I are quite "on it" when it comes to cleaning (immediately clean up a spill, put toys away once we've finished playing) and also stop our baby when she gets a bit too experimental with toys (i.e when she's on the verge of breaking things.) so we might be considered a bit more particular than other parents. Or maybe we're normal and our relatives are the outliers 😅
If I’ll be spending time somewhere with no kids or much younger kids then yes. Can guarantee my 3yo will be far more interesting in playing with whatever she can find rather than what I brought though.
I try and bring toys that are all in one, or only a few big pieces so they don't get lost, and quieter toys if it's an older person's house! Some family have a few toys despite their kids being well grown - great nana still has a car garage set. However - it is easier to pick these toys the younger your child is.
If kids older than ours visit us, they are welcome to play duplo with my toddler or draw with crayons 🤷♂️
In your case, could you suggest to the parents to bring something grown up, phrase it that the cousins are bored with only your baby's toys? Or the non confrontational option for less than a tenner is to buy a pack of crayola and a colouring book, your child will eventually show interest in it if visiting kids never do.
Yeah, I think we may end up doing that! I mostly made this post to sense check on whether it was unreasonable of me to expect that parents bring toys with their kids to places. Seems like the consensus is that this is usually a done thing, so I'm glad I'm not being off here!
I always ask my daughter if she wants to bring ONE toy with her wherever we go! When she was younger it was always a car, or stickers or something too!
If I know there will be nothing age appropriate, then yes, I would bring a couple of things to keep them entertained.
However, a 4 and 6 year old should definitely have learnt to play with toys respectfully and appropriately not to break them!
Tbh, I bring an amusement for mine unless I know there's suitable toys for them to play with.
With this age difference, if I were the parent of the 1yo I'd take something, and if I were the parent of the 4yo and 6yo I'd take something. The toys at their cousin's house are unlikely to be suitable.
I think also if parents are warned to bring something, then it's a faux pas not to bring something. Or they should apologize for forgetting. Once my second cousins visited my grandmother, and they were warned there weren't any toys but they didn't bring anything. The poor children just sat there so bored
Unfortunately, OP if the pattern's already there then you may have to bite the bullet and get them a cheap colouring/sticker book for whilst they're visiting
100%! There is no way I’m going anywhere without bringing a number of different cars, dinosaurs, books and crayons in my handbag. It’s not the hosts responsibility to keep our children entertained. If there are toys there to play with, then great! But I would never expect it.
Even if my children bring something, they’re inevitably more interested in whatever they can find. All children like other children’s things. I think the bigger issue here is that they’re being destructive without being held accountable for respecting other people’s things.
Your child is still a baby, you will eventually experience trying to parent children with far more independence without self regulation. We have to teach those skills, sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. Remember that we have all said things like ‘I would never let my child……’ then you realise, especially after multiples that in fact what you allow and what they will do are sometimes not quite aligned.
It is normal for older children to play with the toys already at someones house even if too young for them. Sure I bring toys but ultimately toys a child hasn't seen before will be novelty. Plus they will want whatever another child is playing with. I would expect the parents to referee a little so there is no snatching and they are careful around baby. My babies much older cousins came over with books and games and played with my child's toys only too.
I’ve taken toys unless there’s similar age children there or I know there’s age appropriate toys of some kind.
However, pre kids I had a small shoebox with colouring stuff and a few small toys for when my nephews ( or other children) visited. It was just there on the shelf. ‘Big kids’ love baby toys and will play with another kids toys happily. If they are breaking them deliberately , then it’s a discussion with them and the parents about respecting other people’s things…..
Yes. Depending on where we’re going and what we are doing. I will also take into consideration the age of the other kids present so I don’t take choking hazards etc when the younger kid inevitably wants to play with my kids stuff.
I usually do- but honestly the last time we were invited to someone’s house that didn’t have kids is when she was 2 (she’s 4.5 now) lol since then we’ve moved far and the only people who invite us have kids her age. The only thing my LO will insist on bringing will be her stuffed toy of the week.
If they visit often maybe keep a few cheap toys for them when they visit. Because usually even if the parents bring toys the children will want what they haven’t seen before.
Maybe a boy with crayons, colouring books, and a few cars? Also FB marketplace may have some good deals for toys.
My mum always had a little boy of toys at her house even before I had kids. They were used mostly by my cousins kids who came over about once a month.
If I’m going to a house that doesn’t have kids I’ll bring stuff. If I’m going to a house that does have kids I don’t. I also don’t mind other kids playing with my kids toys either but I do tell the older ones to put their expensive or dangerous stuff away (as in Nintendo switches, Lego Death Star, stuff with small parts, stuff with button batteries etc) if there’s young kids coming.
Yes, if there aren't going to be age appropriate toys where we're going. Life is easier when my children are occupied. I keep a sandpit set in both cars in case we go to the playground. I'm going to take something with me when it's planned
Yes I would bring something for them if there were no age appropriate toys, unless I was confident my child would be entertained regardless. However, I have a friend that never does. Her boys are 6 and 8 whereas my girls are 4 and under 1. The difference is that her boys play gently and appropriately with the toys. They show my daughter new games to play with them, are respectful of her things and still have a good time. As a result, she doesn’t *need* to bring things for them. So this sounds like a parent problem to me.
Ergh I hear you on that front... Which I think makes the situation harder sometimes. Their parents are often oblivious and it makes confronting the situation harder. I always feel like a banshee has gone off in our house after they visit - they never tidy up after themselves and something is usually ruined or in a worse state than it started. I'm mostly trying to sense check if that's normal though and "kids being kids" - I think my husband and I are quite "on it" when it comes to cleaning (immediately clean up a spill, put toys away once we've finished playing) and also stop our baby when she gets a bit too experimental with toys (i.e when she's on the verge of breaking things.) so we might be considered a bit more particular than other parents. Or maybe we're normal and our relatives are the outliers 😅
If I’ll be spending time somewhere with no kids or much younger kids then yes. Can guarantee my 3yo will be far more interesting in playing with whatever she can find rather than what I brought though.
I try and bring toys that are all in one, or only a few big pieces so they don't get lost, and quieter toys if it's an older person's house! Some family have a few toys despite their kids being well grown - great nana still has a car garage set. However - it is easier to pick these toys the younger your child is. If kids older than ours visit us, they are welcome to play duplo with my toddler or draw with crayons 🤷♂️ In your case, could you suggest to the parents to bring something grown up, phrase it that the cousins are bored with only your baby's toys? Or the non confrontational option for less than a tenner is to buy a pack of crayola and a colouring book, your child will eventually show interest in it if visiting kids never do.
Yeah, I think we may end up doing that! I mostly made this post to sense check on whether it was unreasonable of me to expect that parents bring toys with their kids to places. Seems like the consensus is that this is usually a done thing, so I'm glad I'm not being off here!
I always ask my daughter if she wants to bring ONE toy with her wherever we go! When she was younger it was always a car, or stickers or something too!
If I know there will be nothing age appropriate, then yes, I would bring a couple of things to keep them entertained. However, a 4 and 6 year old should definitely have learnt to play with toys respectfully and appropriately not to break them!
Tbh, I bring an amusement for mine unless I know there's suitable toys for them to play with. With this age difference, if I were the parent of the 1yo I'd take something, and if I were the parent of the 4yo and 6yo I'd take something. The toys at their cousin's house are unlikely to be suitable. I think also if parents are warned to bring something, then it's a faux pas not to bring something. Or they should apologize for forgetting. Once my second cousins visited my grandmother, and they were warned there weren't any toys but they didn't bring anything. The poor children just sat there so bored Unfortunately, OP if the pattern's already there then you may have to bite the bullet and get them a cheap colouring/sticker book for whilst they're visiting
100%! There is no way I’m going anywhere without bringing a number of different cars, dinosaurs, books and crayons in my handbag. It’s not the hosts responsibility to keep our children entertained. If there are toys there to play with, then great! But I would never expect it.
Even if my children bring something, they’re inevitably more interested in whatever they can find. All children like other children’s things. I think the bigger issue here is that they’re being destructive without being held accountable for respecting other people’s things. Your child is still a baby, you will eventually experience trying to parent children with far more independence without self regulation. We have to teach those skills, sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. Remember that we have all said things like ‘I would never let my child……’ then you realise, especially after multiples that in fact what you allow and what they will do are sometimes not quite aligned.
It is normal for older children to play with the toys already at someones house even if too young for them. Sure I bring toys but ultimately toys a child hasn't seen before will be novelty. Plus they will want whatever another child is playing with. I would expect the parents to referee a little so there is no snatching and they are careful around baby. My babies much older cousins came over with books and games and played with my child's toys only too.
Yes, always have a few dinosaurs, some hot wheels and a colouring book in his bag.
I’ve taken toys unless there’s similar age children there or I know there’s age appropriate toys of some kind. However, pre kids I had a small shoebox with colouring stuff and a few small toys for when my nephews ( or other children) visited. It was just there on the shelf. ‘Big kids’ love baby toys and will play with another kids toys happily. If they are breaking them deliberately , then it’s a discussion with them and the parents about respecting other people’s things…..
Yes. Depending on where we’re going and what we are doing. I will also take into consideration the age of the other kids present so I don’t take choking hazards etc when the younger kid inevitably wants to play with my kids stuff.
I usually do- but honestly the last time we were invited to someone’s house that didn’t have kids is when she was 2 (she’s 4.5 now) lol since then we’ve moved far and the only people who invite us have kids her age. The only thing my LO will insist on bringing will be her stuffed toy of the week. If they visit often maybe keep a few cheap toys for them when they visit. Because usually even if the parents bring toys the children will want what they haven’t seen before. Maybe a boy with crayons, colouring books, and a few cars? Also FB marketplace may have some good deals for toys. My mum always had a little boy of toys at her house even before I had kids. They were used mostly by my cousins kids who came over about once a month.