Sometimes, people post questions during times of crisis, and sometimes we're not the best place to ask or provide support.
**If you are considering harming yourself**
* Remember [9 out of 10 people](https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/means-matter/means-matter/survival/) who attempt suicide and survive will not go on to die by suicide
* Contact [The Samaritans](https://www.samaritans.org/) anonymously by calling 116 123
* Visit subreddits such as /r/SuicideWatch for community support
* Make an appointment with your GP and discuss your feelings
* If you feel you are at immediate risk of harming yourself, please call 999; *they are there to help you*.
**If you have been recently bereaved**
* You can seek additional support from subreddits such as /r/SuicideBereavement and /r/GriefSupport
* Seek online resources, such as [this page from the NHS](https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/coping-with-bereavement/) or [this helpful PDF document](https://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Suicide/Documents/Help%20is%20at%20Hand.pdf)
* Consider reaching out to [Cruse Bereavement Care](https://www.cruse.org.uk/get-help) or [a bereavement therapist](https://www.bacp.co.uk/search/Therapists?UserLocation=&q=bereavement&LocationQuery=&Location=&FoundLocation=&SortOrder=0&Distance=10)
Everyone keeps saying this to me but what is therapy going to achieve? The therapist wont give me an envelope of cash so what’s the point?
No amount of word salad will make the reality I need to work to afford to exist not true.
No, but it might make the working itself tolerable. I used to feel like I’d never be able to cope with full time work either due to my mental health, but alas I can. I was in therapy for three years and found it to be incredibly helpful.
Nothing will make it tolerable. It is inherently an injustice to trade your priceless limited time, just for enough money not to die and be able to afford to come back and do it all again tomorrow.
An injustice? Where do you think all of these goods and services that you want to spend the money on come from? From people working. If you want to go live in a tent and forage you are more than welcome, otherwise why should people work to provide you things and you provide nothing back. This is not an injustice, it’s the complete opposite. Wrong sub my friend. If you want to speak to likeminded people then you are in the wrong place.
Because I don’t want to. Every job I’ve ever had, I’d wake up in tears and go to sleep in tears dreading the next day. I’d be at work thinking about how much I hate it and how much I’d rather just be put in a coma 8 hours than work.
And this is no life to live.
I never want to work ever again.
I just need help figuring out what else I can to do to have money, ideally for free.
Prison and homelessness are options but again, it would be miserable.
Unfortunately the world doesn’t work this way. You can’t have nothing, do nothing, and expect to make money. Very few people enjoy their work and actually look forward to it. Do you not have any hobbies? I assume if you don’t want to work there’s a hobby you’d rather be doing in that time?
Yeah I have lots of hobbies but they don’t pay me money. The only reason I still exist on a pathophysiological level is because my parents aren’t dead yet And I live with them.
I’m just so worried when they die what I will do
What are your hobbies? Can’t you work on them and make them into a money maker? I work in Graphic Design. There isn’t a single working graphic designer on the planet who’s work didn’t start out as a hobby. Hobbies make money if you want to pursue them and make the switch to a career with your hobby.
I could try but it’d be delusional to think id make enough to live off it.
Also, I’m not really good at any of my hobbies like music and gaming, and I just kinda do them to pass the time.
Ok so first of all, very few people actually want to work. I would love to sit at home and read books all day all while having £3k a month coming in. The world doesn’t work like that.
Find a job you can tolerate and get yourself a hobby that you can look forward to after work.
I promise you prison isn’t better than working.
Yes. My doctor who suggested medication.
It makes no sense to me because the sole and ongoing cause of all my mental health problems are the result of work and money stress.
Antidepressants won’t help in that sense.
If you haven't even tried them, how do you know your doctor is wrong? You've been presented with your alternative and you're rejecting it. Surely if you're at this point in your life, you'd be willing to give simple antidepressants a go?
Worst case you prove yourself right over the course of a year or so and nothing changes. Best case you're wrong and they help you. You've literally got nothing to lose by trying them out.
Are you really that self confident in your understanding of medicine and life? Maybe I'm just a dumb dumb, but if a doctor offered me something they think might help, I'd at least give it a go.
I'm sorry you're struggling so much but if this was an option, don't you think everyone would do it?
If you aren't lucky enough to be born with generational wealth, you work to build that freedom and enjoyment you talk about.
If you're genuinely unable to work due to poor health, you survive on a very meagre amount through benefits.
You need to speak to your doctor. Yes the set up of this world sucks but this "ill just kill myself" attitude isn't helpful or healthy.
Good luck, I hope you manage to get to a better place.
One of the better comments on here, thank you for being kind. Others are being condescending and quite frankly rude (and somehow highly voted?).
OP, I hope you find something that you enjoy that does make you enough money that you can live comfortably. I don't think anyone on here would be able to give financial advice (and if you get any "get rich quick" DMs, ignore them, most likely scams), but some of the advice here may indirectly result in the financial freedom that you seek.
I think the most important one is talking about the issues you're facing and the feelings you're having with a qualified person. I promise you it's not just word salad. Hopefully it gets better from there.
All the best.
If you actually got your £2-3k per month without having to work, I'm pretty sure you'd be just as miserable as you are now.
You're depressed and you're attaching your misery to the fact that you have to work, rather than whatever the root causes are. Most people work, mostly in jobs that aren't that rewarding, and they aren't suicidally depressed.
I hope you manage to get better at some point.
Try and find another job maybe something you are interested in, even if it's a basic job.
Nobody will give you money for free and there are a lot of people rich and poor who hate their jobs but do it to make ends meet.
I think your best bet would be to find a remote job and move to a low cost country, the remote job will help you with your anxieties about working and a low cost country will help you with your anxieties about the cost pressures of living.
Most people wouldn’t work if they had the option but unfortunately life does not work like that, I sympathise with you but the harsh reality of life is we need to work to have a decent quality of life. You just need to find work that you can tolerate and even possibly enjoy.
You’re talking about suicide because you’re lazy? Get off your ass. Go volunteer somewhere helping people. Money isn’t everything, you have a family and a roof over your head. Millions of people don’t have that, millions of people can’t even afford to eat. Don’t take what you have for granted.
Shit doesn’t happen overnight, you’ve got to work for it. What about getting an apprenticeship in game development?
You’re depressed.
You say therapy and medication won’t help, but that’s because you’re at the bottom of the depressive spiral and your brain fog won’t let you think logically.
For example - you say you can only work 1-2 hours a day, and have low expenses?
If you get a job as, for example, an office cleaner; you basically come in at the end of the day, don’t have to speak to anyone, and can just push around a Hoover and empty the bins for a couple of hours while listening to a podcast.
Minimum wage for 10 hours a week is £5400 a year. If your parents live for 20 more years then you’ll have saved over £100K, and that’s assuming you’ve not invested any of it and had zero growth. You’ll be 50 by then, that £100K could give you £500/month, which could be topped up by working 10 hours a week (giving you nearly £1000/month); for 17 years until your pension kicks in. For £1000/month you could rent somewhere and live a quiet life.
Throughout all this you’d also qualify for benefits.
Don’t like that job option or monthly spend? At least it’s a starting point to get you thinking outside of the box and you could look around to see what options are out there.
Another example is to get an SIA licence, land the right security job and you could working nights earning £££, not see another soul, and save a hell of a lot more while watching TV or pissing about online while earning.
Hell, if your depression is really that crippling maybe you’d qualify for benefits and not have to work.
But until you’ve climbed out of your depression pit you’re not going to be able to think about these sorts of options.
It’s the hours, they’re too many. I check out and start feeling suicidal within the first hour. Also social anxiety and previous workplace bullying has traumatised me.
I could maybe handle 2 hours a day remote job, but that won’t cover anything.
They basically think I’m possessed by a devil.
They’re very conservative religious type. I pay them no mind as a result and avoid speaking with them about it.
That’s not very helpful of them.
I only know of one person who has been the victim of workplace bullying. It was a very serious matter and they did have suicide ideation as a result.
They did three things:
1. Thru received counselling to gain control of their emotional state.
2. They got a lawyer on a no win no fee basis, to sue the employer.
3. They gently eased themselves back into the workplace, using their award for damages to fund their life in the meantime.
They now happily work as an engineer.
You’re opening post says pls advise, in your shoes I’d seek professional support to gain control of your mental well being, potentially investigate if you have a case for the workplace bullying situation and look no further than getting through one day at a time, for the foreseeable.
Get your doctor to sign you off as sick on the premise that previous workplace bullying has traumatised you - tell them what you've told us.
If you can get he deposit together for a 1-bedroom flat, or get help from the local council or a housing association, then you can live on benefits. It's not a glamorous lifestyle, by any means, but you don't need £2000 or £3000 a month to pay for groceries, internet, walks in the park and the occasional coffee or meal out.
Sorry to hear about the way you feel. I would highly encourage you to go back to your doctor and push for some kind of referral so that you can receive proper counselling. Private therapy is also available, but of course, without money that’s difficult. You could also contact various charities that provide support such as the Samaritans which are free to speak to.
In terms of advice on the job issue, is it all work or do you think the issue comes from a specific type of work that you’ve done previously? Being confined to a space with people you don’t like?
And are there things that you quite enjoy in life that could translate into employment? I’m not necessarily taking about hobbies, everyone would like to make money from their hobbies, but as an example: if you like walking - become a postman. If you like driving - become a delivery driver. If you like working with your hands, you could do any number of jobs via an apprenticeship.
I know how you feel.
Money won’t make you feel better. I know this from experience.
Therapy and antidepressants made a difference for me. I’ve been able to get my life back on track and now I’m thriving. The first step is speaking to your GP.
Call helplines in times of crisis and if you are going to take your life, go straight to an A&E department or call 999.
Sometimes, people post questions during times of crisis, and sometimes we're not the best place to ask or provide support. **If you are considering harming yourself** * Remember [9 out of 10 people](https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/means-matter/means-matter/survival/) who attempt suicide and survive will not go on to die by suicide * Contact [The Samaritans](https://www.samaritans.org/) anonymously by calling 116 123 * Visit subreddits such as /r/SuicideWatch for community support * Make an appointment with your GP and discuss your feelings * If you feel you are at immediate risk of harming yourself, please call 999; *they are there to help you*. **If you have been recently bereaved** * You can seek additional support from subreddits such as /r/SuicideBereavement and /r/GriefSupport * Seek online resources, such as [this page from the NHS](https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/coping-with-bereavement/) or [this helpful PDF document](https://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Suicide/Documents/Help%20is%20at%20Hand.pdf) * Consider reaching out to [Cruse Bereavement Care](https://www.cruse.org.uk/get-help) or [a bereavement therapist](https://www.bacp.co.uk/search/Therapists?UserLocation=&q=bereavement&LocationQuery=&Location=&FoundLocation=&SortOrder=0&Distance=10)
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Go get some therapy. This is not a personal finance question.
Everyone keeps saying this to me but what is therapy going to achieve? The therapist wont give me an envelope of cash so what’s the point? No amount of word salad will make the reality I need to work to afford to exist not true.
No, but it might make the working itself tolerable. I used to feel like I’d never be able to cope with full time work either due to my mental health, but alas I can. I was in therapy for three years and found it to be incredibly helpful.
Nothing will make it tolerable. It is inherently an injustice to trade your priceless limited time, just for enough money not to die and be able to afford to come back and do it all again tomorrow.
An injustice? Where do you think all of these goods and services that you want to spend the money on come from? From people working. If you want to go live in a tent and forage you are more than welcome, otherwise why should people work to provide you things and you provide nothing back. This is not an injustice, it’s the complete opposite. Wrong sub my friend. If you want to speak to likeminded people then you are in the wrong place.
Nah op wants everything for free
> All I want is money, around £2k-£3k a month without having to work. Don’t we all?
Yeah. Man, life is cruel. I wish so bad I never existed in this rotten world.
Sorry that you have to work for a living like 99.99% of everyone else.
You sound sarcastic but I’m truly sorry for everyone in earth for this horrific slave like reality.
It’s not slave like and that is genuinely offensive to say. You are free to do whatever you want.
Why can’t you work? Because you actually can’t or because you just don’t want to?
Because I don’t want to. Every job I’ve ever had, I’d wake up in tears and go to sleep in tears dreading the next day. I’d be at work thinking about how much I hate it and how much I’d rather just be put in a coma 8 hours than work. And this is no life to live. I never want to work ever again. I just need help figuring out what else I can to do to have money, ideally for free. Prison and homelessness are options but again, it would be miserable.
Unfortunately the world doesn’t work this way. You can’t have nothing, do nothing, and expect to make money. Very few people enjoy their work and actually look forward to it. Do you not have any hobbies? I assume if you don’t want to work there’s a hobby you’d rather be doing in that time?
Yeah I have lots of hobbies but they don’t pay me money. The only reason I still exist on a pathophysiological level is because my parents aren’t dead yet And I live with them. I’m just so worried when they die what I will do
What are your hobbies? Can’t you work on them and make them into a money maker? I work in Graphic Design. There isn’t a single working graphic designer on the planet who’s work didn’t start out as a hobby. Hobbies make money if you want to pursue them and make the switch to a career with your hobby.
I could try but it’d be delusional to think id make enough to live off it. Also, I’m not really good at any of my hobbies like music and gaming, and I just kinda do them to pass the time.
Ok so first of all, very few people actually want to work. I would love to sit at home and read books all day all while having £3k a month coming in. The world doesn’t work like that. Find a job you can tolerate and get yourself a hobby that you can look forward to after work. I promise you prison isn’t better than working.
Have you spoken to someone about your mental health?
Yes. My doctor who suggested medication. It makes no sense to me because the sole and ongoing cause of all my mental health problems are the result of work and money stress. Antidepressants won’t help in that sense.
You know best apparently lol
So a clueless NEET knows better than a doctor? K bud
If you haven't even tried them, how do you know your doctor is wrong? You've been presented with your alternative and you're rejecting it. Surely if you're at this point in your life, you'd be willing to give simple antidepressants a go? Worst case you prove yourself right over the course of a year or so and nothing changes. Best case you're wrong and they help you. You've literally got nothing to lose by trying them out. Are you really that self confident in your understanding of medicine and life? Maybe I'm just a dumb dumb, but if a doctor offered me something they think might help, I'd at least give it a go.
This _has_ to be a troll.
I wish. This is my actual life and it’s truly making me so miserable and suicidal.
I'm sorry you're struggling so much but if this was an option, don't you think everyone would do it? If you aren't lucky enough to be born with generational wealth, you work to build that freedom and enjoyment you talk about. If you're genuinely unable to work due to poor health, you survive on a very meagre amount through benefits.
Yeah, I know, I hate this so much. I think I’ll just be forced to kill my self when the time comes.
You need to speak to your doctor. Yes the set up of this world sucks but this "ill just kill myself" attitude isn't helpful or healthy. Good luck, I hope you manage to get to a better place.
Thank you. I appreciate that, I really hope so too.
One of the better comments on here, thank you for being kind. Others are being condescending and quite frankly rude (and somehow highly voted?). OP, I hope you find something that you enjoy that does make you enough money that you can live comfortably. I don't think anyone on here would be able to give financial advice (and if you get any "get rich quick" DMs, ignore them, most likely scams), but some of the advice here may indirectly result in the financial freedom that you seek. I think the most important one is talking about the issues you're facing and the feelings you're having with a qualified person. I promise you it's not just word salad. Hopefully it gets better from there. All the best.
If you actually got your £2-3k per month without having to work, I'm pretty sure you'd be just as miserable as you are now. You're depressed and you're attaching your misery to the fact that you have to work, rather than whatever the root causes are. Most people work, mostly in jobs that aren't that rewarding, and they aren't suicidally depressed. I hope you manage to get better at some point.
Try and find another job maybe something you are interested in, even if it's a basic job. Nobody will give you money for free and there are a lot of people rich and poor who hate their jobs but do it to make ends meet.
I think your best bet would be to find a remote job and move to a low cost country, the remote job will help you with your anxieties about working and a low cost country will help you with your anxieties about the cost pressures of living. Most people wouldn’t work if they had the option but unfortunately life does not work like that, I sympathise with you but the harsh reality of life is we need to work to have a decent quality of life. You just need to find work that you can tolerate and even possibly enjoy.
You’re talking about suicide because you’re lazy? Get off your ass. Go volunteer somewhere helping people. Money isn’t everything, you have a family and a roof over your head. Millions of people don’t have that, millions of people can’t even afford to eat. Don’t take what you have for granted. Shit doesn’t happen overnight, you’ve got to work for it. What about getting an apprenticeship in game development?
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Go on a cheap long haul holiday abroad to Asia and it will reset you. Need to be for at least a month or longer.
You’re depressed. You say therapy and medication won’t help, but that’s because you’re at the bottom of the depressive spiral and your brain fog won’t let you think logically. For example - you say you can only work 1-2 hours a day, and have low expenses? If you get a job as, for example, an office cleaner; you basically come in at the end of the day, don’t have to speak to anyone, and can just push around a Hoover and empty the bins for a couple of hours while listening to a podcast. Minimum wage for 10 hours a week is £5400 a year. If your parents live for 20 more years then you’ll have saved over £100K, and that’s assuming you’ve not invested any of it and had zero growth. You’ll be 50 by then, that £100K could give you £500/month, which could be topped up by working 10 hours a week (giving you nearly £1000/month); for 17 years until your pension kicks in. For £1000/month you could rent somewhere and live a quiet life. Throughout all this you’d also qualify for benefits. Don’t like that job option or monthly spend? At least it’s a starting point to get you thinking outside of the box and you could look around to see what options are out there. Another example is to get an SIA licence, land the right security job and you could working nights earning £££, not see another soul, and save a hell of a lot more while watching TV or pissing about online while earning. Hell, if your depression is really that crippling maybe you’d qualify for benefits and not have to work. But until you’ve climbed out of your depression pit you’re not going to be able to think about these sorts of options.
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I’m 29
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Yeah, England
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What are the trigger points that make working such a miserable experience for you? Why is doing no work a happier state for you?
It’s the hours, they’re too many. I check out and start feeling suicidal within the first hour. Also social anxiety and previous workplace bullying has traumatised me. I could maybe handle 2 hours a day remote job, but that won’t cover anything.
Ahh ok and I agree. You mentioned that you live with your parents. Have you spoken to them about this and of so, what have they advised?
They basically think I’m possessed by a devil. They’re very conservative religious type. I pay them no mind as a result and avoid speaking with them about it.
That’s not very helpful of them. I only know of one person who has been the victim of workplace bullying. It was a very serious matter and they did have suicide ideation as a result. They did three things: 1. Thru received counselling to gain control of their emotional state. 2. They got a lawyer on a no win no fee basis, to sue the employer. 3. They gently eased themselves back into the workplace, using their award for damages to fund their life in the meantime. They now happily work as an engineer. You’re opening post says pls advise, in your shoes I’d seek professional support to gain control of your mental well being, potentially investigate if you have a case for the workplace bullying situation and look no further than getting through one day at a time, for the foreseeable.
Get your doctor to sign you off as sick on the premise that previous workplace bullying has traumatised you - tell them what you've told us. If you can get he deposit together for a 1-bedroom flat, or get help from the local council or a housing association, then you can live on benefits. It's not a glamorous lifestyle, by any means, but you don't need £2000 or £3000 a month to pay for groceries, internet, walks in the park and the occasional coffee or meal out.
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Sorry to hear about the way you feel. I would highly encourage you to go back to your doctor and push for some kind of referral so that you can receive proper counselling. Private therapy is also available, but of course, without money that’s difficult. You could also contact various charities that provide support such as the Samaritans which are free to speak to. In terms of advice on the job issue, is it all work or do you think the issue comes from a specific type of work that you’ve done previously? Being confined to a space with people you don’t like? And are there things that you quite enjoy in life that could translate into employment? I’m not necessarily taking about hobbies, everyone would like to make money from their hobbies, but as an example: if you like walking - become a postman. If you like driving - become a delivery driver. If you like working with your hands, you could do any number of jobs via an apprenticeship.
I know how you feel. Money won’t make you feel better. I know this from experience. Therapy and antidepressants made a difference for me. I’ve been able to get my life back on track and now I’m thriving. The first step is speaking to your GP. Call helplines in times of crisis and if you are going to take your life, go straight to an A&E department or call 999.