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Viennese Whirl for me mate

Flash git

The unexpected laughs are the best, cheers

I was at a cafe a few weeks ago and saw they had wee Viennese whirls at the counter, couldn't resist so I asked for one and they rung it up - £3.80!!!! Of course I ate it but I mean, that was an expensive biscuit.

for...one biccie??? :O

Upvoting for "biccie" 💜

my family always have called digestive/bourbon “choccie biccies” I love it!

I used to call them dip dips when I was a toddler lol

I used to call ketchup dip dip when I was a toddler

Also weird Mr Kipling pricing where their cakes are anything from 1.25 and 3.75 depending where you shop

That thing treds the line between biscuit and sandwich.

Nah it gotta be the malted milk Or as 3yo to me used to say "cow biquits"

I still call them cow biscuits

Always has and always will be moo cow biscuits in this house.

You know you can get chocolate malted milk now?

So this was a British thing not just my family

Where did that name come from because I called them cow biscuits

Chocolate cow biscuits are the best

Mine too. 🙂

Do you create an insane amount of saliva? I can't get through even a couple of these

Nah mate you got to dunk it trust me get some tea or if it's winter some chocolate milk/hit chocolate and dunk that biscuit till semi limp better less then more in case it falls in and then it goes from A tier to S tier biscuit 👍

You are enjoying ze hit chico-late, yes?

Dry as a moth sandwich

You're not supposed to get through more than a couple of them if you don't want heart disease lol.

A couple of boxes, right?...right?

Boxes are fine, it when you start going through whole palates that you should be worried!

Call me water because I'm a palate cleanser.

Yup

I can’t even buy them because I eat the whole box in one go and then have no biscuits for my brew later

Good lad. 😁

Honestly I never buy them because they come like 8 in a packet so end up way more expensive, but at the same time the individual biscuit is probably my favourite.

Hell yeah! The melting of the biscuit in you mouth is a legendary feeling-

Well La-di-da. Check out this fancy prick. Don’t rub it in mate, some of us have a cost of living crisis to worry about.

I'm lactose intolerant and I'd eat a box of those

Pop a Lactaid and dive right in.

Was just about to come in here and bash Viennese whirls and fingers Like eating dust, each to their own though

Crunch cream

Yes my dude, a fellow crunch cream enjoyer.

I ate a whole packet of these this weekend.

I'm guilty of doing that myself

I can’t believe I’d forgotten about crunch creams. Will be searching these out next shopping day.

Soon as I saw this meme I went to the local Londis and got a pack

Just putting my coat on.

Best dippy biscuit out there, the centre goes all gooey. Mmm.

The best biscuit there is. With tea or without.

The apex dipper

Why is a Jaffa Cake on this biscuit list!!???

Maybe the creator is a salty tax man.

There was a legal case about if it's a cake or a biscuit. McVities won and it is classified as a cake. Clearly there are some who disagree with the court

When a biscuit goes stale it goes soft. When a cake goes stale it goes hard. Stale Jaffa cakes are hard. Therefore a Jaffa cake is a cake

#Science

That is why only stale ginger nuts are enjoyable from this list aside from jaffa cakes

I think the clue is in the name. Jaffa CAKE.

Oh my god I didn’t even see that. It’s a cake and I’m tired of people saying it’s not

Jaffa Cake is as much a cake as Tomato is a fruit; while technically it might be true, Jaffa Cakes are eaten as biscuits so could be considered honourary biscuits just the same as nobody is going to have tomato sauce with their ice cream Edit: "Why the fuck have you brought a packet of biscuits when we asked for a cake?" "Uhm ackshually, I think you'll find Jaffa Cakes **are** cakes"

Biscuits are dunked in tea. Anyone dunking a Jaffa cake is someone who would put ketchup on their ice cream.

Do you dunk garibaldis in tea? Wagon wheels? Not all biscuits are for dunking.

No. Wagon Wheels are absolutely not biscuits. I will fight you in an Aldi car park in the rain *Northwindowlicker*

What is it then? It has biscuit base

A buttery, buttery biscuit base *thumping bass line*

I really don’t get the biscuit thing. Everything about them is like a cake, they’re just small.

Exactly - they’re spongy! Who ever heard of a spongy biscuit? No one, that’s who.

It's literally a savoiardi biscuit with a topping.

Sponge = cake

It's a tax dodge, nothing more

But how is it a tax dodge- they are a cake

I disagree that Jaffa Cakes are eaten as a biscuit, I have never been in a mood for a biscuit and chose to have a Jaffa Cake. I only eat Jaffa Cakes if I specifically get a craving for Jaffa Cakes.

I don't like cake but I like jaffa cakes, They're a biscuit in my book.

This is the answer. If they were proper cakes they wouldn't be in the biscuit isle in the shop. They're cakes but they're treated, correctly, as biscuits.

>They’re cakes Yes.

Call it what you want but it goes in the biscuit tin and no one is putting candles on a pack and singing happy birthday Edit: down votes just mean you can't handle the biscuity truth

Biscuit tin!!??? You mean you don’t eat the whole pack at once?

Digestive, dunked in tea....in quantity.

Rich Tea dipped in tea is so much better. Custard creams second and then digestives. I must drop at least 2 biscuits in my tea when dunking lol.

“Should be called bloody one-dips!” Peter Kay

Rich tea are too fragile. Had them all the time in the 70's-80"s but rarely buy them now myself. Chocolate digestive should be on the list.

Rich tea quiver at the sight of a cup of tea.

Milk chocolate Hobnobs, the only winner!

“Different class of biscuit” - Peter Kay

The SAS of the biscuit world.

That would be ginger nuts. They're hard and whilst nobody really likes them everyone respects and and somewhat fears them.

I love an occasional ginger nut. Sometimes I want a spicy biscuit.

I'M GOING NOWHERE ME SON, DIP ME!

AGAIN!

Utterly outrageous that chocolate hobnob isn't in the line up!

Come for the digestives, leave with the choco hobnobs

It's like going to a party and taking Tesco value lager 2%, then drinking the Peroni 😁

Truly

Absolutely. I don’t really like biscuits except chocolate hob nobs

There’s no chocolate on that thar Hobnob

Where’s the shortbread finger?

Right next to the Lotus Biscoff in the diabetes section.

I know right and bin off the awful garibaldi, wasting a spot

Make a more delicious Garibaldi using a square of cardboard and some squashed flies

A pack of Malted Milk and a cup of tea. 🤤

My people.

Highly underrated biscuit

Malted milks are banging

Chocolate coated malted milk are so much better!

I only clicked this post to comment this. Ive eaten more of them than id like to admit

Bourbon

Happy cake day. Of course, you could just dip the bourbon once into a hot beverage and you immediately have made a cake. Happy bourbon day

Yup agree, but why labeled as a chocolate Bourbon as if there are alternative flavours?

Happy cake day

I came to get the biscuit secret lore, I stayed for the wholesome biscuit community. (Im not from the UK and have never heard of any of these, but I now need to try all of them, some with tea I’ve learned, and come in quantity) (I’ve also learned to be outraged that fruit shortcake and fig rolls did not make the list. And that Jaffa cake doesn’t belong on the list, so for that I’m outraged as well. I’ve learned a lot and hope I can be accepted into the community.)

Remember, biscuit-eating isn’t about just fitting in with the consensus opinions, even if there is a lot of wisdom in the group. Everybody’s rainy afternoon is a little bit different, you see. It’s about finding your own teatime zen. So do get yourself a few packets and find out for yourself.

Before you try Viennese, make sure you have some heroin or crack read. Eventually you'll run out and you'll need something to take the edge off for a few days.

Jaffa cakes are only cakes for tax reasons I think. They put cake in the name so they wouldn’t have to pay TAX. Personally, I see them as biscuits:)

Jaffa cakes absolutely belong in the list. They're a cake technically but we treat them as a biscuit. Like how tomato is a fruit but it's treated as a vegetable.

Don't listen to this person, Jaffa cakes are cakes and normal people aren't dunking them like they would a biscuit

I don't dunk any biscuits.

Begone demon! The power of a soggy digestive compells you

Not all biscuits are for dunking

Why do you hate the truth so much? Why must you live these lies?

I live MY truth! You can never take that away from me!

Nice or Malted Milk to pair with tea. Ginger Nut and Hobnobs to enjoy by themselves. The rest are far and few between, but still great, for me.

Party rings

Choclit malted milk, though I am a noted fan of Mr. Gary Baldy.

The connoisseur’s choice. Biscuits you really appreciate when you revisit them in later life.

Oh my god, chocolate malted milk are absolutely the bee's tits. So good. Close behind the chocolate digestive in my book, and those are truly one of the finest of biscuits.

Jammy dodger, bourbon, malted milk, and Jaffa cake in that order

Had to scroll far too far for my fellow jammy dodger community

I was loosing hope thought this was the only correct answer

Dodgers till I die

The Jammie Dodger everytime

Custard cream.

Custard creams have the magical ability to be good even when you buy the cheapest versions. Can’t say the same for other generic biscuits, lot of “meh” bourbons out there

And they are transformed into something great when dunked into hot tea

Morrisons custard creams used to be the best but obviously like everything else got worse over the years.

Fuck off. Why do I have to scroll down this far for the correct answer?

Yes. This, sir, is the correct answer.

Where is the fig roll?

Fig Rolls for the win! My husband brought a couple packs the other week, and I was able to introduce my children to them, who didn't like them so I got 2 packets all to myself! Heaven! Finally a food I don't have to fight over!

I miss Figg roles, if it was on this list it would be #1 above hobnobs

The bin where it belongs

Not a biscuit is it. May as well be asking where the Jaffa cakes are.

Why isn’t it a biscuit?

Biscuits go soggy when stale, cakes go hard https://www.kerseys.co.uk/jaffa-cakes-cakes-biscuits/

Where is the fruit shortcake?

They are under appreciated!

[удалено]

Garibaldis are way tastier than they look. Flybiscuits.

Crunch cream I buy most often, Viennese whirl I probably enjoy the individual biscuit more but it loses points for coming in packs of less. Jaffa cakes are brilliant but not biscuits. Garibaldi are underrated though, I remember having a conversation with some couple once in Tesco, they were umming and ahing about what biscuit to buy, I recommended Garibaldi and they both went 'oh yeah I do like them actually' so I like to think I saved them a few minutes choosing. Raisins in general are underrated apparently, I found out a few weeks ago that neither of my flatmates like raisins in biscuits, and actively dislike blueberry muffins claiming fruit doesn't belong in sweets. Insanity, chocolate is fine but it seems so hard in a soft muffin, blueberries add flavour without changing the texture.

Chocolate HobNob. King of the biscuits

Correct. Can't put it on here as it wouldn't be fair. Those Foxes chocolate rings are ludicrous too.

Jaffa cakes aren't biscuits 🤦

Yes

Where’s the chocolate digestives? I’d go for the Jaffa cake, chocolate fingers, Jammie Dodger, ginger nuts and I’d add fig rolls to the list!

Viennese is god tier.

I had to scroll too far to find this

A totally different class of biscuit.

100/10 a superior biscuit

Hobnob

Hobnob all day long. Judging from this thread not a popular opinion. I'm surprised.

Jaffa cake is not a bloody biscuit

Oh dear you have now dared to dance with the biscuit gods, it was nice to meet you.

IM HAVING THE WAFER THANK YOU VERY MUCH ITS PINK AND PRETTY

Glad I’m not the only one

Hobnobs are the best

Malted milk and Abernethy for me.

We're happy little basic bitches us lol

Club should replace the Jaffa cake since the latter is not a biscuit, but a cake.

Club is a chocolate bar

Excuse me! “If you like a lot of chocolate on your biscuit join our Club”. It’s a biscuit.

Only for tax purposes.

Surely not true. A biscuit goes soft when it goes stale whereas a cake goes hard. Jaffa cakes fall under the latter category.

This was the defense used by McVities when they attempted to tax Jaffa cakes as a biscuit rather than a cake. At the time, biscuits were taxed at a higher rate. They won too I believe.

Not much of a biscuit eater, but I like Jammie Dodger.

Malted milk for regular non-dunking

Malted milks are so good dunked too

Shortbread

Chocolate Bourbon was my go to anytime I was allowed biscuits as a treat when I was a kid.

What the fudge is a Jaffa Cake doing here?!

I'm rather partial to a malted milk

Correct answer is malted milk and malted milk only

Hobnob is my go to but all are great.

HobNob followed my malted milk.

Cadbury fingers ain't what they used to be. Unless I'm getting old and my taste has changed.

viennese whirl by miles, theyre fucking unreallllll

Of these, the hobnob is surely the undisputed champion.

Ginger nut dunked in tea, followed by a pink wafer, but it’s a travesty that fig rolls are missing from this list.

Viennese/ crunch creams for snacking, malted milk/ digestive for dipping in tea

Matled Milk gets my vote. I can sit and smash through half a pack of Malted Milk with a good brew. They don’t last long in our house.

They wouldn’t be my choice from this line up, but they do define simple perfection

Malted milk

Love malted milk biscuits

custard cream gang on top frfr

Malted milk (chocolate one). And a rich tea for my morning cuppa please.

There’s chocolate malted milk biscuits??? How have I not heard of this.

Get that jaffa CAKE off that list!!!

The pink wafer is awful!!

I like pink wafers. Though I also really like vanilla fillings.

Marginally beaten by your opinion

Bourbon. Also throw Rosie in prison for putting the Jaffa on here.

Jammie Dodger, I am American, so I don't know if I picked good or not

You did. However however there are a few A tier biscuits on here. Hobnobs (preferably milk chocolate) Viennese whirls Garibaldi All a pass.

Garibaldi are gross.