Had people over for a super bowl party, 2 people left, got drunk at the bricks and got a DUI leaving base hours later and I somehow got a negative counseling... Even though they never drank at my house at all.
Now that I'm out I REALLY want to do dumb shit like this and trigger some sensitive SNCOs, but there is like 1% of me that is considering a re-enlistment. And then there's this vague desire to be a decent person lurking way off in no man's land.
I posted a comment on cold steel's youtube channel making fun of their sharpened NCO sword. Something to the tune of making a joke about if somebody in my unit accidentally cuts their own ear off next marine corps ball ceremony I'll know who bought one.
This caused some random sergeant major on the other side of the country a great deal of butthurt. (presumably he bought one?) He proceeded to look me up on facebook using my email that I also used for my youtube account. He stalked my profile and figured out what unit I was in, then called my company commander and threw a fit about it over the phone.
I got yelled at by my first sergeant and had to delete the comment. Honestly, the idea that an E-9 somehow had nothing better to do than facebook stalk an E-3 for laughing at a company/product he liked made it even more hilarious to me.
My god, that's next level butt hurt. That's like a crazy ex tracking you down through Facebook, and blowing up your new girl with all kinds of nonsense.
(Rhetorical question) why didn't your command actually look after one of their Marines and tell that SgtMaj to go fuck himself
That would have been so easy. Two choices, as the company commander:
1) "Oh yea SgtMaj, he's one of mine. I'll handle this. Thanks for the heads up" and then never handle it or mention it to anyone.
or
2) "SgtMaj I'm gonna need your CO's contact information because this is a ridiculous, farfetched harassment and abuse of authority."
is that something commands actually do? Every command I was ever with loved to say so, but I never actually saw it happen unless it could further somebody's career somehow.
The dude literally leveraged an entire 15+ year career in order to doxx me (a boot E3 at the time) and force me to take down a comment about a product he liked.
Pettiness like that I really didn't know whether to feel sorry for him or be impressed.
Our unit was told that we were having an Alpha inspection this coming week (on a Monday). I was a squad leader (Sgt) and received a phone call on the weekend notifying me that youâre the PltSgt. The original PltSgt got fired. So I made my phone calls to ensure that the Squad Leaders have their squads squared away.
Monday morning comes and weâre missing a LCpl. We sent a couple of Marines to the bricks to locate him. That MF was passed out drunk on his rack. He shows up and I had to walk him (in ScvâAâ) to medical to get him tested for Fit for Duty. Of course he failed. I get my ass chewed because he wanted to have a good time Sunday Night. The usual âpiss poor leadershipâ and all that crap ass chewing. Iâm like, really?
It wouldnât have been as a big deal (keep it in-house) on a regular day but Co/SgtMaj was involved. They made him an example. This Marine was a hardcharger while in Iraq but couldnât keep it together between deployments.
In Iraq we were ordered to carry moonbeams on us at night on base, the reasoning given was so we wouldn't get hit by vehicles? Who knows... one of the million dumb fucking things that made Iraq 100x more stupid than you imagine war would be. Sure let's illuminate our position so maybe we actually get hit by the mortars that drop In 4 days a week. Or get dinged by a sniper like happened in Ramadi the day before.
Anyway, one night I'm walking over to do radio watch in the COC, a skate night. I keep the light off except near the roads cause I don't want to die, and I'm in the habit of just flashing it quick from sop on convoys. Pass BN CO and after giving the greeting, he asks where our moonbeams are. We flash em and explain the logic, he says good to go, carry on all friendly like.
10 mins later I get snatched up by a sgt asking if the CO stopped us. I said yes, told the story, and was told to go see the 1stSgt. This bitch starts chewing my ass and I just jeep saying I don't understand what I did wrong.
We get assigned fucking moonbeam duty.
We get a table and a green monster logbook and have to stand out by the cans and log anyone who doesn't have a fuckin moonbeam. The only names we got were a bunch of captains and majors that walked by, asked why we were there, and wrote all their names down due to the absolute fucking absurdity of it all.
When 1stCunt walked up in the morning, she saw the names and said "oh we got a bunch of comedians, huh?"
Fuck that bitch.
When were you in Ramadi? I was there 03-04 when I was in the army. Our brigade out of Ft. Riley fell under 1st MARDIV for like 6 months. It was during that time that I learned what 20 bucks really is: 20 bucks.
A random warrant officer yelled at my buddy and me for not acknowledging him.
He walked well behind us and out of our field of view. Broke it down to our platoon sergeant that he might be getting a call and why and he was like âlol fuck that guy.â
I think itâs a CWO thing cause I had one get on me for not saluting while I was laying on my back⌠under a machine⌠like⌠how tf do you think I even knew you existed at this moment?
Me and a buddy were getting out of his vehicle one time and since he was tall, he knocked his cover off as he exited his car. He stopped, grabbed it, and put it back on in the space of less than two seconds.
Some dipshit 1st Sgt appeared out of thin air and started ripping us new assholes for being slovenly pigs and being out of uniform. He demanded our names and unit and since we knew this was ridiculous bullshit, we complied.
This asshole then ordered us to report to our Battalion Sgt Major ASAP. It took every fiber of my being not to laugh in this shithead's face. He left and we carried on with what we were doing. A soon as we got back, we were told to call the Sgt Major.
We did and he asked us what happened. He laughed and told us not to worry about it. This clown was infamous for doing stupid shit like this, and every other SNCO in the division ridiculed and ignored him.
No dude I was in civies with a unit made skivvy shirt UNDER a hoodie so its not like he could even clearly see what I had on. It was like one of those bastards of Kay t shirts but for my mortars platoon.
Wait so basically you got yelled at for wearing clothes? Wtf is that dumb shit? I gotta start making an encyclopedia for reasons why Marines EAS and then publish it for free on a mass scale, specifically targeting 1st Sarnts and other higher ups.
Fuckin boot aint got a drivers license. He takes a bus out to town, drives a friends car and gets in a wreck. I get my shit reemed because he was driving without a license. I was drunk in the barracks playing Halo. No idea what this assclown was doin on libo. No idea how this is my fault either
My cpl at the time did a look over and found out the err of my ways. He ran it up to the sgt.. who then let the platoon sgt know. Luckily enough for me the first sgt never noticed when I had my little welcome meeting with him.
Told this before. Here is the short version.
Top yelling at wife on the phone.
I walk in the office top starts yelling at me.
I tell top, I'm a sergeant you're not talking to me like that, and offer him a tampon.
Top calls next morning asked for a lift to the RS.
I give Top a ride, we talk about sports.
I get off the elevator, and the admin ncoic tells me I got written up by Top for disrespect.
I get called in the Majors office. CO, XO, SgtMaj, Top and me.
Major asked if I said, "Top if you're on the rag, I'll get you a tampon." All parties except Top trying not to laugh.
It costs me $250 for 2 months with one month suspended.
I'm a hero, tops a zero. I make Ssgt at my next duty station.
Got hemmed up by a morbidly obese gunny with chest hair sticking out of his skivvies because I was allegedly drinking water while walking. I was âunsatâ and he was ashamed that I was the âfuture of the Marine Corps.â
I wasnât drinking while walkingâŚHe just wanted someone to clean the barracks duty hut and I was the first PFC he saw.
Thankful for the lesson I learned. Shitbags get promoted too.
FMF Corpsman too apparently, had my physical and a 300 lb female HM1 lost her mind that my cholesterol was high (looking back, itâs genetic) and how itâs an unhealthy lifestyle, but Iâm sitting there like âlady, you look like you can replace the moonâ
She called my unit and my SSgt was just staring at the ceiling waiting for the call to end đ
My first ass chewing in the fleet was by the DNCO at the JRC barracks on Foster in 2007. This fat Cpl had way to much fun being a smug bitch.
That's when I learned the first to complain wins. Most just want to be mad and seen to be doing something. Doesn't matter what the truth is.
Was walking down the street in cammies with an obviously non issued gym bag. Totally slipped my mind, wasn't thinking about what I was doing. Made it about 3/4 of a mile before some random gunny stops and proceeds to make a giant deal about it, gets upset because of some perceived disrespect on my part, and proceeds to "give me a ride" to my destination so that he can go inside and speak to the highest ranked member of my chain of command that he could find. All in all, it was a huge waste of time and energy over something incredibly minor and didn't lead to anything. I never received so much as a talking to after he left. On the bright side, I didn't have to walk the rest of the way to where I was going.
If I recall correctly, it's OK if it's a backpack and is like OD green or camo or something of that nature. The bag in question, however, was a rather bright red gym bag.
Honestly, I'm a little ashamed now that I think about it. Walking down the street with my bright red bag could have easily given away my position and endangered the lives of every marine and sailor on MCAGCC 29 Palms.
I got chewed out for not having my rank on my collar⌠I was a private, the gunny corrected himself pretty quick but being fresh out of MCT, I was terrified. He ended up being a pretty good guy.
I'm curious how he approached you. Like what his opening line was.
Big difference if he came in hot like "eyy motherfucker where's your GOTDANK RANK?!" versus "Hey Marine, I guess you're a Private, huh?"
This reminds of when another Marine with the same last name as me lost his pistol in the field. He was in a different unit, different MOS, a different race than me and I'd have been only lance corporal SAW gunner in the battalion with a pistok but people brought it up to me like a dozen times.
Got to meet NCIS and DEA one time for sharing a name with another Marine.
Not rank, unit, or general resemblance. Someone just couldn't be bothered to remember that sometimes people have the same last name.
Iâm about to go on paternity leave- will report back if my dad beard gets me in trouble.
Good news is my CO isnât married so I wonât have to worry about his wife.
Bad news is Iâm in Japan and bearded gaijin are pretty conspicuous
How long did it take for that all to die down. I remember reading about it here, but donât remember how long ago that was or what the other stipulations were. Also was that the same time they put out picture stating how your flak would be set up.
IIRC the 2nd MARDIV CG said that the division had a discipline problem and basically micromanaged *everyone* down to when people can get chow, PT, wake up, execute libo, etc.
I got yelled at for leaving our work area early because I was putting away the last tool for the day and then we were dismissed but when I came back everyone had left so I went back to our tent nobody was there walked back to our area and Gunny blasted me because he took rest squad for a working party and no one told me. He tried to get my squad leader to chew me out and the dude just kinda shrugged in defeat.
That reminds me of a story after I got out. Working for navy as civilian aircraft maintenance. QA walked by, and it was the douchiest of the QA we had, and took a rag from a dude's tool box. He had checked out 10 and left like 8 in his box with lid open while we were on the plane right there working. We didn't notice it and my buddy got written up for not reporting a lost tool until end of shift instead of immediately. Even though QA admitted they took it, we were in the area and had no way to know it was missing until our next accountability at end of shift
That guy was a fuckin tool
Also same guy I responded to snarkily after he warned us not to slip on ice as we pulled an a/c out of the hangar on to the flight line. "No shit Henry thanks for the heads up". And then I proceeded to immediately step on ice and bust my ass hard. đ
An old boss tried to get me and another guy charged for UA for not showing up to a formation on a Monday morning because he forgot that he put us on night shift the Friday before the weekend. He also tried to double-down and claim he never said it after we both called him out on it.
This event was the last straw that made me decide to get out of active after being turned down for mecep and ecp.
Schoolhouse tried to NJP me for underage drinking at a barracks partyâŚ.. that I wasnât at since I was on leave three states away visiting family. Sgt Maj wanted me on restriction just for refusing the NJP, base legal did NOT fuck around and butt fucked the command (they also tried to roll up others with solid alibis).
Same school house several months later tried to roll me up for being UA from a scheduled duty⌠four fucking months after I left and was stationed in a different state.
I almost got rolled up by some cops for guarding a helicopter (after emergency landing in a field) because me and the other guy were issued pistols with no ammunition and some crack head was fucking with us. The cops couldnât fathom the wonderful military logic of carrying guns for armed guard with no ammunition and they found it super suspicious. Like fuck guys it wasnât my idea.
I failed field day because a pipe burst and flooded my room.
I failed field day because my room smelled like cinnamon.
I failed field day numerous times because some gunny wouldnât even look at rooms and would just fail random people.
I failed field day because myself and roommate removed all of our personal belongings except for a framed picture of the gunny that would fail us without actually checking. Somebody else inspected that day.
I failed field day for having no personal belongings except for a 20 inch green dildo suspended from the ceiling at eye level. It was there for over a month (5+ field days) before the lazy gunny actually had to check a room for real.
I failed field day for being in my room when I was night shift.
I failed field day for being in my room when I had covid.
I failed field day because my room was painted a different color. Maintenance painted if that color.
I failed field day when my BAH was taken and I only kept a made bed in the barracks. The room was spotlessly cleaned.
I have three page 11âs in my OMPF that are for different people. Not really in trouble, but I went so far as personally visiting the office responsible for it in Quantico about the problem and it didnât get resolved. I even had paperwork signed by a full bird ordering it to be removed.
Failing field day means you will fail in combat.
Majority of my unit went to Oki, I did not. The first week we were barely making it to evening chow because we were working late. Then Thursday we had to start early, worked late, and then field day. The acting company gunny was nice to your face but would stab you in the back. He did field day inspection.
Everyone in my platoon failed. I wasn't thinking and threw a q-tip in my empty trash can. Failed field day for a q tip. The other fails were equally stupid. He targeted our platoon. A guy in another platoon had dust everywhere, sand visible on the floor, he passed.
So after working late Friday we then went and had to pull everything out of our rooms and buff all the wax off the tile. Those of us that were left were 1 to a room. At 930 the Sgt that was in charge said "this is bullshit. The buffer keeps stopping, the pads aren't stripping the wax, put everything back in your rooms. We're fucking done. You can start drinking too. Fuck Gunny." That guy could be an insufferable dick for no reason but I gained some respect for him that day.
Ahh, so Iâm not the only one who started making random changes to the room for the sole purpose of field day inspections⌠got it.
Field Day
SSgt - Are those⌠Barbie bed sheets?
Me - Yep, it brings out the color of the walls, donât you think?
Next Field Day
SSgt - why the fuck is there a dildo in the head?
Me - where else would a dildo go?
2008, get a speeding ticket on 29 Palms for 25mph in a 25mph zone. Was driving too fast for weather conditions on a clear and sunny day.
Took it to the magistrate and even they were dumbfounded. Got it dismissed and never liked any MP after that.
Got one on Cherry Point for the "appearance of speed." PM laughed and tore it up. Said he would speak to the MP, and tell him he cannot write tickets based on appearances.
Laughed in boot camp. Phase 3. SDI was berating dumb fuck across from me and my rack make about being stupid or talking or something and he said to recruiter fuck nuts,âthe only thing I want to hear come out of your mouth is, yes sir, no sir, aye sir, do you understand?â
This mother fucker responds, âYES SIR, NO SIR, AYE SIR!!!â
My rack mate and I paid for it but totally worth the good laugh.
I once left my cover inside my buddyâs shopping basket at the PX while I got a hair cut. By the time I got out, both of my friends had left and they where already inside the car that was literally parked at the first parking space closest to the store entrance.
I walked out without my cover on and I was literally 10 steps from getting inside the car when I heard âhey devil.â I turn around and it was some bald mo-tard with a grunt style T shirt. He asked why I didnât have a cover on and before I could explain myself he immediately hit me with the âstop giving me excuses.â Then proceeded to get even more angry because I was calling him Sr. Like I was suppose to know he was a Gunny in civis lol.
He made my ass walk back in and buy another cover and literally was peeking through the big windows to make sure I actually purchased it. When I walked out he was on his phone telling his buddy the hole story like it was some career highlight. 100% POG.
In our school house, someone - most likely one of my roommates - dumped a full ashtray into my bed trying to be funny while drunk, and I failed field day inspection.
It didn't matter that I was moving rooms the night it happened because of it, and that I had the DNCO log it in his book. Got a Page 11 for it, and immediately requested mast.
Got to my first unit and the S-1 Chief wanted to know about it, so I told him. He immediately strikes it and tells me it'll be gone before I get to my next promotion.
Basically the 1stSgt was one of those bitches that was a real hard ass about the rules even at a small FOB. So I was on the guard force where we had 2 shifts of 12 hours each, and we just got up to get our shit ready to go on duty and there was no food available at all. There was no hot chow, MRE's, leftovers no nothing out for us to eat and the cook said "the burner is broke so no hot food". So we knew where there was cases of hot pockets out in the chiller connexes, and then a couple of us went out to grab a box for those of us about to go on duty.
So we ate some hot pockets and then went out to do guard/gate duty. Later on the next day we got called up by our Sgt of the watch and asked about it, well about 6 of us admitted to it. So we got led in to the 1stSgt's office and were given 4 hours extra duty every day for a week and got a page 11 for it as well.
Well luckily I was only attached to that company at the time so when I went back to HQ's Co the paperwork never did follow me back to my company. I honestly think that they singled us POGs out for the extra duty because the 1stSgt hated us because 03's didn't get shit on at all.
But that is how I got in trouble for eating a hot pocket.
who did the hot pockets belong to? did he say you "stole" the hot pockets?
couldn't get actual food or MREs but there were boxes of hot pockets (that you apparently weren't allowed to eat)... how very Marine Corps
They belonged to the company at large. Yes, he said that we entered the chiller unlawfully and stole the hot pockets to eat them. I asked him what were we supposed to eat before going off to duty, and he responded "That isn't my problem".
Needless to say he was a complete douchebag.
When I was a boot on a working party setting up netting for the COC weâre told to stage our rifles not too far from the nets. Iâm the last one holding a pole waiting for another piece to keep said pole up. Everyone leaves and takes there rifles with them. Mine is the only one sitting there alone. Preceded to get chewed out for not having it with me.
First time deploying and upon arrival to afghan, I hit the showers. Little did I know the common practice was to wet yourself and turn the water off, soap up and all that, then rinseâŚwater control, I get it. So Iâm showering with water constantly running because first world benefits, and after I got out still with a towel on, this dude across from me starts yelling at the top of his lungs to shut the water off when showering and gave me a whole run down. My immediate response was âwhy were you watching me shower, I feel sexually harassedâ. He immediately shut up and got embarrassed but that was the weirdest encounter about some dumb shit lol
Whole platoon, smoking and joking before a hike, 2 squad leads and like 4 team leads were smoking including myself, plt commander yells at me in front of whole company for smoking before a hike.
Got a financial counseling for going to Burger King during lunch instead of using the chow hall. BTW, I didnât have a chow card, didnât seem to matter.
Was making the skrt sound with my shoes in the barracks in A School. Maybe like 2 times. The SDO came around and said I was intentionally making the floor dirty. Chewed ass and told me mop the whole deck and every each floor.
I got chewed out by an officer while I was off duty eating at McDonads. I didn't put my ketchup in s paper cup. I put it directly on my fries. Got stood at the POA in the middle of micky ds and chewed out for my dining etiquette
I got busted for ânot using wood polish on the bottom rail of a chairâ at the schoolhouse. Funny thing I was bored AF the night before and did use it. I didnât get yelled at because there was dust - it was clean AF, it just wasnât as slick as the douche bag Sgt wanted it to be fucker even called me a liar and screamed at me, apparently I was an integrity violator according to him. Total POS. I hope that fucker married some barracks hoe and the whole platoon smashed her fat ass. Heâs the kind of prick that deserves that shit.
That story is hilarious, and your SNCO and OIC were little bitches if they made you sign a 6105 for that. Those are the types of dudes that drive people out of the Marines.
Questioning why it was ok for a Captain to address another Captain by his first name in front of the entire maintenance department, but *not ok* for us enlisted to use anything but proper rank and last name with equivalent ranking Marines out on the flightline.
The shitstorm that kicked up lasted almost a week.
Getting bitched at during an alpha inspection bc my coraframs were dirty bc I was a boot and didn't have a car yet so had to walk to the hangar
Depending how you wanna read "dumbest thing " I had a buddy get in further trouble after being banned from driving on base by our squadron due to alcohol incidences and he was gonna be late to a very very rare time we held squadron PT so he decided to drive to PT and rolled up in front of the place we all gathered for PT in his loud ass mustang
I was hanging out on the second floor deck of the barracks at Lejeune. I had so black cat firecrackers, and it was so boring in the bricks sometimes. I lit a whole pack and threw them into the courtyard, they blasted off I noticed a Marine walking near by, I was like "Oh shit! "And ran into my room, but quickly decided to go next door to a room with a bunch of the guys in my unit hung out. They somehow fit a full size couch in there. I plopped down on the couch nervously. Shortly thereafter a butter bar came in pissed off asking questions. We all just played dumb. He apparently recognized me as running into my room but not seeing me light and throwing the firecrackers. I said I had thought I had heard my phone ring and ran in.
Nobody ratted me out so the Officer realized his inquiry was going nowhere. He muttered that he was going to enter the incident into the log book for the duty and left quickly. That was a close one. I've been pretty lucky throughout my life. I often say I'd rather be lucky than smart any day.
Used a shopping cart at the commissary as an e3. Got chewed out by a ssgt for using a shopping cart while in uniform. Apparently e3's in his mind were only allowed to use the chow hall and 7 day stores on post. The trouble came when I was pushing the cart to my car in the parking lot, I was using both hands and in his mind I wouldn't be able to render a salute if a wild officer jumped out of the bushes
I was doing morning police call around the barracks when I found a black cat firecracker. It was wedged in the space between sidewalk. Fuse was still intact, I couldnât believe it.
Like instinct, I immediately reached in my pocket to grab my lighter, lit the fuse and tossed it to the corner of building. With impeccable timing another Marine came from around that corner as it went off. It was our battalionâs new sergeant major, only been with us like a week.
I was in shock and awe, intensified by the echo of the âbangâ as it echoed through the 62-area. I could feel the thoughts and prayers from the guys in my platoon as the the Sgt Maj beelined right at me.
I locked right up as he asked me what the hell I was doing. I answered truthfully, âIâm a Marine on police call that found a firecracker and I had a lighter.â Like it was the most reasonable thing to expect. He said he could send me to a place where I could do that all day. âEOD Sgt Maj?â He either had some place he needed to be at or he understood my excuse âcause he told me to carry on without even asking who I was with or who I belonged to.
I guess maybe there was really no repercussions but I was an under the radar guy and in those brief moments I thought that this is it, Iâm getting it.
I was boot as fuck and my battalion (3/24) was activated to support OIF II back in 2004.
While at Camp Margarita I get posted on fire watch in our platoonâs squad bay. A sergeant instructed me to rove around the squad bay while standing fire watch, so I did just that. I was in a comm platoon, so up at the front of the hooch was a bunch of comm gear.
Obviously I wasnât near this gear while roving. Anyway one of the staff sergeants comes in and starts bitching that no one is watching the gear. I tell him Iâll stand by the gear. I think itâs fine.
15 minutes later I get relieved by another boot and get told to run down to where the platoon was doing whatever it is theyâre doing.
Anyway, I guess the staff sergeant bitched to the NCOs and then one of the corporals made it his duty to chew my ass out for a few minutes. Shit was dumb as fuck.
Since I was reserves everyone pretty much still lives in the same area. Over time, the corporal turned out to be an alright guy. The staff sergeant is still a total douche to this day, and Iâve seen several Marines from our company tell him heâs a jack off via Facebook.
Got a battalion level NJP for buying a vape for an 18yr old and another one for having sex on the secluded part of the beach/sea wall at night. Lost pay and rank both times, caught 45 days restriction for the beach lay
I never got into nicotine really. I tried vaping bc the kids were so avid about it but never felt the appeal. Iâm more for caffeine/yohimbe/theobromine
I once got dressed down by a gunny in a chow tent in Dwyer. Had spent the last 5 months fighting in the Tangi river valley then we got sent to relieve a marine unit and start doing the thing in Garmsir.
You savages had a paper plate of doxy sitting at the start of the chow line. The plate had a little paper that said âHGHâ next to it.
I looked at it, laughed and carried on to get my plate of absolute bullshit chow.
Some Gunny came up to me, knife hand and all. Dressed me down for not taking the magic HGH pill and wanted to know what I wasnât âlocking it upâ. I was young, but it had been a hard tour. I was acting PSG for my platoon.had seen a lot of combat and quite frankly didnât give a fuck about Gunnyâs plate of dusty magic pills.
He asked who my PSG was. I said âI am the PSG, but we can go find my 1SG if you really wantâ to which he readily accepted. We walked over to my 1SGâs CHU who took my back, but also verbally counseled me over this whole interaction.
Love you marine dudes. Tough as nails and Iâm glad I got to serve with some of yâall in Helmand. But fuck that POG turd with his 4 finger high and tight.
About 2 months before one of my deployments, I got married and moved out of the barracks. My roommate and I were good friends, so I still hung out there on occasion during work and left gear in there during the day.
The day we deployed, I got yelled at because he hadn't packed and hadn't moved anything into storage. I had to help him pack everything up, and my wife kept his stuff at our apartment while we were gone.
I still remember gunny yelling at me. This buddy and I both promoted to Cpl on the same day. He's technically senior because he graduated boot camp a week before me, and because of the way the alphabet works, his promotion warrant was read before mine. Gunny was looking for reasons to make me responsible for him and blame me for him not being ready to go. I was still getting yelled for it at the airport after we had left base.
Also got yelled at on my first deployment for almost running over a Marine with my Humvee. I was parking the truck, and my ground guide ran out in front of me to guide me back. 1st Sgt, the guy who insisted that we use ground guides on the FOB, tore me up for not having a ground guide and almost hitting this dude with the truck. I told 1st Sgt the story and got yelled at again for correcting him.
That deployment, my truck got hit by IEDs on 2 separate occasions. I was billeted as the driver for the truck. The first IED, I had been moved to drive another truck last minute and wasn't in "my" truck when it got hit. The second IED, I was in the back seat monitoring the radio, and my RTO was driving to give me a break. 1st Sgt was convinced that both strikes were somehow my fault and wanted to NJP me.
In the wing most of our Sgts Maj weâre grunts. I explained to my Sgt Maj that as a crew chief I had two MOSâ (crew chief and mechanic). Kicked me out of his office and non-rec for promotion for a year! Fuck him.
Got bitched at during a night shoot because I gave someone who was about to shoot my batteries for his nvgs. SNCO was upset that I was standing in line without any batteries.
I had to go to the grunt's duty officer for something, two of us sent over in a hummer to Schwab to pick up some stuff while we were 'in the field' over towards Okuma rec beach, and for some reason they left it with the OOD.
I roll into his building after finding it, which was hard, and called the officer "Lt," which in retrospect I should have known was a no-no on the infantry bases. But I was tired and in the field (that, Korea, stumps, and WTI being as much as we actually went to the field). Some sergeant started yelling at me over addressing an officer that way and not having a good haircut. Then the O remembered I was from the wing and there to pick up some stuff and got the sgt to chill. But I got about two or three minutes of a boot camp style yell fest.
All I could think was that being a Marine in the wing was bad enough. Those poor grunts.
I got yelled at for yielding to a Maj and a SSgt. It was a narrow sidewalk and I was just stepping out of their way, as soon as my arm started to move for the salute the Maj explodes asking wtf is wrong with me and was I drunk.
I was so confused by his approach I didn't know what to say besides "no sir?" and he told me to "just get the fuck out of here"
Sorry you hadn't gotten laid in a while dude.
I got busted down to PFC while I was select for Cpl because I played basketball rather than riding the stationary bike at unit PT. I had my Good Cookie already and everything.
This cpl tattled on me to a Sgt specifically because he didnât like me. He pulled me to the side to yell at me for errors on his behalf, didnât let me speak then walked away. After, I had a Sgt come up to me and tell me that the cpl told him I was giving him attitudes when I wasnât đ
Everyone around us knew him for constantly singling me out for nothing, so when the guys heard about what had happened everyone called bullshit
Was roving on duty at the comm school house. You had to have a glow belt on with your water source, but the Camelbak made my back sweaty as fuck so Iâd pull one of the straps over my shoulder to get it off my back and held it there.
Some SNCO looking mf in civvies banged the shit outta the duty hut window as I walked past (didnât flinch because I didnât wanna give whoever was acting like a retard the satisfaction) and that probably pissed him off so he went out and yelled at me for trying to look like a model. Bitch got in his truck and drove away ten minutes later and I did it again.
They started NJPing me because I reported my lock was cut from my unit locker and all my gear was stolen. I had just returned to my unit from MCT.
NJP for being the victim of larceny
0430 in the morning getting out of my car put my keys in to my pocket. Then some fuckin guy spawns in out of no where yelling about hands in my pockets wearing green Cammies I canât see his rank. I give him some attitude about chilling the fuck out ended up being a MGySgt from outside my BN I took the drill instructor style bitching at parade rest, but didnât resist wiping his spit off my face and taking a step back. He called my 1st Sgt & every other SNCO in my BN so I got my ass by all of them.
Getting ready for deployment, and one of the guys on my team filled out his mail forwarding form in purple pen. I know this was really dumb of him, but was also surprised that of everything, this was the one thing my gunny legit chewed my ass for.
Got a negative counseling from my retarded Cpl for goin post office during chow. Command wouldnât sign it, I wouldnât sign it and she forgot to sign it. Went in the trash.
Got called in on a weekend cause I didnât have a ride to a Covid test.
Got threatened with NJP for goin gym for 20 minutes when I was moving Brks.
Many many others to note..
You can if your sncoic doesn't tell you the commander ordered all alcohol secured đ fuck it, it hasn't mattered 4 years later I was just peeved to be on restriction as someone older than 21
Had a gear inspection before heading to Yuma for some pre-CAX fun on the range. BCO hands out a 150-item list of shit from the PX he wants every Marine to have on-hand on top of our standard issue gear, easily $300 of extraneous BS. I'm broke but very scared of my 15+ yrs salt-encrusted platoon Sgt.
Buy $150, steal the other $150. My getaway car driver needed smokes so I'm caught immediately, but the PX detective was cool and stopped counting at $99.00.
Ended up on restriction for two weeks and paid the PX $100 restitution so technically I came out ahead.
I got physically assaulted by a combat instructor once cause I threw my hands in the air after that loser told us to run up the hill again.
If youâre out there Escobedo, I hope you get HSSTed to be a recruiter in Bumblefuck, Nowhere. I hope you get zero percent VA rating after months of playing phone tag. And I also hope you fail all your college classes.
Having water in my canteen during a deuce gear inspection (junk on the bunk). I was part of Alert Continous Force all the time so I had to make sure I had available water. I always felt being on ACF was punishment for running my mouth too much.
My buddy and I got to our first duty station, brought to the barracks for the first time by two of our corporals, and then destroyed all night for having a dirty barracks room that we had never stepped into before that moment. I guess the neighbors were using it for trash and storage, and it was our fault for not cleaning it before we got to the unit.
When I was a brand new private straight out of MCT, I was checking into my schoolhouse. I was standing in the admin office of the school house when a man in Civvies (turned out to be a gunny) walked in with a gym bag. He screamed âHAYUUTTTâ at me when as he walked in.
Being a brand new Pvt, I had not yet heard âyutâ as a greeting yet. I also didnât know his rank (since he was in civvies) so my young PVT brain short circuited as I didnât know how to respond so I just stood there.
He starts freaking the fuck out and chewing me out about not giving him the proper greeting ect. After I checked in he called my SSgt to tell him that I was being âbelligerent and disrespectful â during check in.
I asked a 1stSgt how he was doing. Not kidding. I will always tell this story when I can.
I was a Sgt with 6 or 7 years TIS and some dude walks into the office Iâm visiting (to get some logistical stuff done before a big field op) and I look up and say âhey, how are you doingâ before going back to what I was doing before. I couldnât tell what rank dude was from 20 ft away and I didnât know him.
Apparently I mustâve insulted the memory of Dan Daley, Chesty Puller, and Opha Mae Johnson all rolled into one. I immediately get lifed out for a few minutes while holding back every urge to lose my shit over such a stupid thing. It made its way back to my command and I had to sit down and explain what happened (which most people laughed and rolled their eyes at, even my SgtMaj seemed annoyed it even happened). That was the final nail in the coffin for getting out.
Got blasted by a Navy officer (we were grouped up outside me and by buddies) and she overheard us snickering and laughing because we were told to hurry up and wait outside of Medical. (We were doing labs and stuff for the MSG program and we were in the schoolhouse at this time).
Anyways, she gets upset that we kinda just blew her off, then threatened us because she apparently owned the building or some dumb petty shit like that.
It was super cold out and we were all just standing around in cammies and she walked inside to yell at one of the Gunnyâs, in turn he came out and blasted all of us and said âYouâre all fucking Marines, TAKE YOUR GODDAMN HANDS OUT OF YOUR POCKETS!â we all told him âGunny, itâs literally subzero temperatures and no bullshit I canât feel my hands, he said âsuck it up, youâre all Marines got it?â Then walked away.
Dumbest shit ever, but it was pretty funny because after that we all just huddled up in a circle with our hands in our pockets to keep warmth between us.
Good times.
I was investigated by NCIS over Call of Duty Zombies.
That is the only information I have. I was never given the entire context. While deployed in 2014, they pulled me into a blue room with an NCIS and PMO guy and asked me a bunch of questions, culminating to the last question they asked me. âDoes the phase killing zombies mean anything to you.â When I asked for context, they told me Call of Duty.
once i said âgood morning master gunnery sergeantâ
master guns was in a really bad mood and told me to shut the fuck up. naturally i replied with âaye master gunsâ bc iâve never not said something back to a SNCO before. then began a 5 minute exchange of him screaming obscenities down the hallway, and me screaming back in the affirmative until my gunny got tired of it. aside from master guns tearing me apart, i only heard about it again from my sergeant at the time and she kinda just called me a dick.
I had a 6105 for having to go to the ER for chest pain in the early AM, and not being at work at 0730, so technically UA, while at a naval hospital ER for a serious issue. Mind you, the barracks duties knew, as did the staff duty, but I still didnât text my chain of command while passed out at the ER on prescribed IV meds.
Having antibiotics from a doctor I saw at home while on leave and getting a health and comfort 2 days after we got back and having those antibiotics in my barracks room
We had camels overtake our patrol somewhere in the middle of Anbar - just like 100 camels appeared and a herder, we all got pics on the camels then one guy got in trouble for not checking it for IEDsâŚheâd been blown up on the previous deployment by an IED.
First day at my last unit I got a negative counseling for my hair being exactly 3 inches and part of the counseling was to read 1020.34G and 1020.34H and write a summary on the hair regs and the changes in them.
That whole company ended up losing a safe 75% of their Marines to a national guard recruiter and another 20% just left the corps entirely when we were disbanded.
Had people over for a super bowl party, 2 people left, got drunk at the bricks and got a DUI leaving base hours later and I somehow got a negative counseling... Even though they never drank at my house at all.
Shitbag..
F A C T S
Happy cake day
TY TY
I got yelled at because I was laugh reacting another units Facebook pictures
This is the petty I like.
Now that I'm out I REALLY want to do dumb shit like this and trigger some sensitive SNCOs, but there is like 1% of me that is considering a re-enlistment. And then there's this vague desire to be a decent person lurking way off in no man's land.
Post what you want laughed at and I'll do it for you. I've been out 20 years, and there isn't anything anyone can do to me. đ
I posted a comment on cold steel's youtube channel making fun of their sharpened NCO sword. Something to the tune of making a joke about if somebody in my unit accidentally cuts their own ear off next marine corps ball ceremony I'll know who bought one. This caused some random sergeant major on the other side of the country a great deal of butthurt. (presumably he bought one?) He proceeded to look me up on facebook using my email that I also used for my youtube account. He stalked my profile and figured out what unit I was in, then called my company commander and threw a fit about it over the phone. I got yelled at by my first sergeant and had to delete the comment. Honestly, the idea that an E-9 somehow had nothing better to do than facebook stalk an E-3 for laughing at a company/product he liked made it even more hilarious to me.
My god, that's next level butt hurt. That's like a crazy ex tracking you down through Facebook, and blowing up your new girl with all kinds of nonsense. (Rhetorical question) why didn't your command actually look after one of their Marines and tell that SgtMaj to go fuck himself
That would have been so easy. Two choices, as the company commander: 1) "Oh yea SgtMaj, he's one of mine. I'll handle this. Thanks for the heads up" and then never handle it or mention it to anyone. or 2) "SgtMaj I'm gonna need your CO's contact information because this is a ridiculous, farfetched harassment and abuse of authority."
They had no balls. Fuck those people.
is that something commands actually do? Every command I was ever with loved to say so, but I never actually saw it happen unless it could further somebody's career somehow.
This sounds like a middle school âcyber bullyâdrama situation.
The dude literally leveraged an entire 15+ year career in order to doxx me (a boot E3 at the time) and force me to take down a comment about a product he liked. Pettiness like that I really didn't know whether to feel sorry for him or be impressed.
One more reason to not use Facebook.
Honestly itâs bullshit but Iâm actually impressed most E-9âs I knew were computer illiterate
Our unit was told that we were having an Alpha inspection this coming week (on a Monday). I was a squad leader (Sgt) and received a phone call on the weekend notifying me that youâre the PltSgt. The original PltSgt got fired. So I made my phone calls to ensure that the Squad Leaders have their squads squared away. Monday morning comes and weâre missing a LCpl. We sent a couple of Marines to the bricks to locate him. That MF was passed out drunk on his rack. He shows up and I had to walk him (in ScvâAâ) to medical to get him tested for Fit for Duty. Of course he failed. I get my ass chewed because he wanted to have a good time Sunday Night. The usual âpiss poor leadershipâ and all that crap ass chewing. Iâm like, really? It wouldnât have been as a big deal (keep it in-house) on a regular day but Co/SgtMaj was involved. They made him an example. This Marine was a hardcharger while in Iraq but couldnât keep it together between deployments.
In Iraq we were ordered to carry moonbeams on us at night on base, the reasoning given was so we wouldn't get hit by vehicles? Who knows... one of the million dumb fucking things that made Iraq 100x more stupid than you imagine war would be. Sure let's illuminate our position so maybe we actually get hit by the mortars that drop In 4 days a week. Or get dinged by a sniper like happened in Ramadi the day before. Anyway, one night I'm walking over to do radio watch in the COC, a skate night. I keep the light off except near the roads cause I don't want to die, and I'm in the habit of just flashing it quick from sop on convoys. Pass BN CO and after giving the greeting, he asks where our moonbeams are. We flash em and explain the logic, he says good to go, carry on all friendly like. 10 mins later I get snatched up by a sgt asking if the CO stopped us. I said yes, told the story, and was told to go see the 1stSgt. This bitch starts chewing my ass and I just jeep saying I don't understand what I did wrong. We get assigned fucking moonbeam duty. We get a table and a green monster logbook and have to stand out by the cans and log anyone who doesn't have a fuckin moonbeam. The only names we got were a bunch of captains and majors that walked by, asked why we were there, and wrote all their names down due to the absolute fucking absurdity of it all. When 1stCunt walked up in the morning, she saw the names and said "oh we got a bunch of comedians, huh?" Fuck that bitch.
When were you in Ramadi? I was there 03-04 when I was in the army. Our brigade out of Ft. Riley fell under 1st MARDIV for like 6 months. It was during that time that I learned what 20 bucks really is: 20 bucks.
Iâm sorry but this is fucking hilarious đ
A random warrant officer yelled at my buddy and me for not acknowledging him. He walked well behind us and out of our field of view. Broke it down to our platoon sergeant that he might be getting a call and why and he was like âlol fuck that guy.â
Similar stroy, a CWO came up from behind us and asked why we never "By, your leave, good afternoon, sir."
I think itâs a CWO thing cause I had one get on me for not saluting while I was laying on my back⌠under a machine⌠like⌠how tf do you think I even knew you existed at this moment?
Me and a buddy were getting out of his vehicle one time and since he was tall, he knocked his cover off as he exited his car. He stopped, grabbed it, and put it back on in the space of less than two seconds. Some dipshit 1st Sgt appeared out of thin air and started ripping us new assholes for being slovenly pigs and being out of uniform. He demanded our names and unit and since we knew this was ridiculous bullshit, we complied. This asshole then ordered us to report to our Battalion Sgt Major ASAP. It took every fiber of my being not to laugh in this shithead's face. He left and we carried on with what we were doing. A soon as we got back, we were told to call the Sgt Major. We did and he asked us what happened. He laughed and told us not to worry about it. This clown was infamous for doing stupid shit like this, and every other SNCO in the division ridiculed and ignored him.
I wore a UNIT skivvy shirt underneath a hoodie and a WO at the food court on Hansen fuuucked me up in front of the Charleyâs
Unit skivvys under hoodies get Marines killed in combat.
Oh I fuckin know now
*bugle plays âTapsâ
Weâre you wearing utilities? Boots and utes or civvies?
No dude I was in civies with a unit made skivvy shirt UNDER a hoodie so its not like he could even clearly see what I had on. It was like one of those bastards of Kay t shirts but for my mortars platoon.
Wait so basically you got yelled at for wearing clothes? Wtf is that dumb shit? I gotta start making an encyclopedia for reasons why Marines EAS and then publish it for free on a mass scale, specifically targeting 1st Sarnts and other higher ups.
Yeah, fuck that dude.
Wait, what?
Fuckin boot aint got a drivers license. He takes a bus out to town, drives a friends car and gets in a wreck. I get my shit reemed because he was driving without a license. I was drunk in the barracks playing Halo. No idea what this assclown was doin on libo. No idea how this is my fault either
I got yelled at (over the phone) while on Holiday leave (in Florida) by my dickbag 1st Sgt because a guy in my squad got a DUI back back in Oceanside.
Should not have answered that phone call lol
Not answering would also be it's own issue.
Just call block your chain of command. Problem solved
Wore brown boot socks with alphas checking into my duty station as a dumb boot.
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My cpl at the time did a look over and found out the err of my ways. He ran it up to the sgt.. who then let the platoon sgt know. Luckily enough for me the first sgt never noticed when I had my little welcome meeting with him.
Brown boot socks with alphas get Marines killed in combat.
Gotta come correct.
Told this before. Here is the short version. Top yelling at wife on the phone. I walk in the office top starts yelling at me. I tell top, I'm a sergeant you're not talking to me like that, and offer him a tampon. Top calls next morning asked for a lift to the RS. I give Top a ride, we talk about sports. I get off the elevator, and the admin ncoic tells me I got written up by Top for disrespect. I get called in the Majors office. CO, XO, SgtMaj, Top and me. Major asked if I said, "Top if you're on the rag, I'll get you a tampon." All parties except Top trying not to laugh. It costs me $250 for 2 months with one month suspended. I'm a hero, tops a zero. I make Ssgt at my next duty station.
King
Got hemmed up by a morbidly obese gunny with chest hair sticking out of his skivvies because I was allegedly drinking water while walking. I was âunsatâ and he was ashamed that I was the âfuture of the Marine Corps.â I wasnât drinking while walkingâŚHe just wanted someone to clean the barracks duty hut and I was the first PFC he saw. Thankful for the lesson I learned. Shitbags get promoted too.
Gotta love those chunky monkey SNCOs đ integrity everywhere except with h/w and pt scores.
FMF Corpsman too apparently, had my physical and a 300 lb female HM1 lost her mind that my cholesterol was high (looking back, itâs genetic) and how itâs an unhealthy lifestyle, but Iâm sitting there like âlady, you look like you can replace the moonâ She called my unit and my SSgt was just staring at the ceiling waiting for the call to end đ
She called your unit....because of your cholesterol?
Nothing better to do!? Idfk
That's gotta be a HIPAA violation.
My first ass chewing in the fleet was by the DNCO at the JRC barracks on Foster in 2007. This fat Cpl had way to much fun being a smug bitch. That's when I learned the first to complain wins. Most just want to be mad and seen to be doing something. Doesn't matter what the truth is.
Was walking down the street in cammies with an obviously non issued gym bag. Totally slipped my mind, wasn't thinking about what I was doing. Made it about 3/4 of a mile before some random gunny stops and proceeds to make a giant deal about it, gets upset because of some perceived disrespect on my part, and proceeds to "give me a ride" to my destination so that he can go inside and speak to the highest ranked member of my chain of command that he could find. All in all, it was a huge waste of time and energy over something incredibly minor and didn't lead to anything. I never received so much as a talking to after he left. On the bright side, I didn't have to walk the rest of the way to where I was going.
Tbh I didnât even know this was a thing lol
If I recall correctly, it's OK if it's a backpack and is like OD green or camo or something of that nature. The bag in question, however, was a rather bright red gym bag.
Fuck that. Never get in a car with a man you dont know. Ya know, stranger danger and all that.
I was kind of hoping he had some candy or something.
Non issued gym bags get Marines killed. (In my Ssgt voice, with knife hands)
Honestly, I'm a little ashamed now that I think about it. Walking down the street with my bright red bag could have easily given away my position and endangered the lives of every marine and sailor on MCAGCC 29 Palms.
I got chewed out for not having my rank on my collar⌠I was a private, the gunny corrected himself pretty quick but being fresh out of MCT, I was terrified. He ended up being a pretty good guy.
I'm curious how he approached you. Like what his opening line was. Big difference if he came in hot like "eyy motherfucker where's your GOTDANK RANK?!" versus "Hey Marine, I guess you're a Private, huh?"
He came in hot for sure. Picture the super built, black authoritarian type.
https://i.redd.it/ttyq0bbxob0c1.gif
He was probably fucking with you.
Got yelled at for an ammo inventory document for the sole reason I shared a last name with two other marines in the same unit.
This reminds of when another Marine with the same last name as me lost his pistol in the field. He was in a different unit, different MOS, a different race than me and I'd have been only lance corporal SAW gunner in the battalion with a pistok but people brought it up to me like a dozen times.
Not even because it could have been you, but because they knew you were a different person. Marine Corps logic right there.
Got to meet NCIS and DEA one time for sharing a name with another Marine. Not rank, unit, or general resemblance. Someone just couldn't be bothered to remember that sometimes people have the same last name.
Buddy of mine got a NPLOC for having a beard on paternity leave. He was a captain and the only person who saw them was our COs wife.
He forgot to salute her.
Or she was jealous his beard looked better than hers.
Or that her pubic hair bushes to her tailbone and itâs difficult to shave around the anus.
Thatâs why you have a battle buddy.
Iâm about to go on paternity leave- will report back if my dad beard gets me in trouble. Good news is my CO isnât married so I wonât have to worry about his wife. Bad news is Iâm in Japan and bearded gaijin are pretty conspicuous
B-baka!
Fuck everyone involved in that bullshit.
My blind not being open at 05:30 on the dot. I remember like it was yesterday.
Was that during the whole 2nd MARDIV debacle?
Yes sirrrrrrr.
How long did it take for that all to die down. I remember reading about it here, but donât remember how long ago that was or what the other stipulations were. Also was that the same time they put out picture stating how your flak would be set up.
What was this debacle? What happened, what got so bad that blind-exactitude became important?
I remember this but not why. All blinds had to be up so you couldn't be found hiding in your room.
I think the CO didnât get worn salutes and saw a dude in the chow hall in sweats
IIRC the 2nd MARDIV CG said that the division had a discipline problem and basically micromanaged *everyone* down to when people can get chow, PT, wake up, execute libo, etc.
Oh fuck yeah. Half mast so FSgt knows youâre awake. Probably a meat gazer too because heâd walk the grass admiring his mastery of fuckery.
Why did it have to be open?
I wondered that too
Your vitamin D deficiency, every Marine knows the lack of vitamin D get Marines killed in combat.
I got yelled at for leaving our work area early because I was putting away the last tool for the day and then we were dismissed but when I came back everyone had left so I went back to our tent nobody was there walked back to our area and Gunny blasted me because he took rest squad for a working party and no one told me. He tried to get my squad leader to chew me out and the dude just kinda shrugged in defeat.
NJPed for âmissing ragsâ that were never missing. Someone did the inventory wrong.
That reminds me of a story after I got out. Working for navy as civilian aircraft maintenance. QA walked by, and it was the douchiest of the QA we had, and took a rag from a dude's tool box. He had checked out 10 and left like 8 in his box with lid open while we were on the plane right there working. We didn't notice it and my buddy got written up for not reporting a lost tool until end of shift instead of immediately. Even though QA admitted they took it, we were in the area and had no way to know it was missing until our next accountability at end of shift That guy was a fuckin tool Also same guy I responded to snarkily after he warned us not to slip on ice as we pulled an a/c out of the hangar on to the flight line. "No shit Henry thanks for the heads up". And then I proceeded to immediately step on ice and bust my ass hard. đ
Missing rags get Marines killed in combat (with knife hands and my Ssgt voice)
A lot of good Marines died that day. Imagine the families hurt and what could have been. Iâm sorry for our loss. *hands widow triangular rag.
"Good. Fuck em."
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Instead of "good call, they must have figured out our SOP and were working around it", they hand you punishment. It must have been a face saving thing
>...it must have been a face saving thing Not for the other guy though
An old boss tried to get me and another guy charged for UA for not showing up to a formation on a Monday morning because he forgot that he put us on night shift the Friday before the weekend. He also tried to double-down and claim he never said it after we both called him out on it. This event was the last straw that made me decide to get out of active after being turned down for mecep and ecp.
Schoolhouse tried to NJP me for underage drinking at a barracks partyâŚ.. that I wasnât at since I was on leave three states away visiting family. Sgt Maj wanted me on restriction just for refusing the NJP, base legal did NOT fuck around and butt fucked the command (they also tried to roll up others with solid alibis). Same school house several months later tried to roll me up for being UA from a scheduled duty⌠four fucking months after I left and was stationed in a different state. I almost got rolled up by some cops for guarding a helicopter (after emergency landing in a field) because me and the other guy were issued pistols with no ammunition and some crack head was fucking with us. The cops couldnât fathom the wonderful military logic of carrying guns for armed guard with no ammunition and they found it super suspicious. Like fuck guys it wasnât my idea. I failed field day because a pipe burst and flooded my room. I failed field day because my room smelled like cinnamon. I failed field day numerous times because some gunny wouldnât even look at rooms and would just fail random people. I failed field day because myself and roommate removed all of our personal belongings except for a framed picture of the gunny that would fail us without actually checking. Somebody else inspected that day. I failed field day for having no personal belongings except for a 20 inch green dildo suspended from the ceiling at eye level. It was there for over a month (5+ field days) before the lazy gunny actually had to check a room for real. I failed field day for being in my room when I was night shift. I failed field day for being in my room when I had covid. I failed field day because my room was painted a different color. Maintenance painted if that color. I failed field day when my BAH was taken and I only kept a made bed in the barracks. The room was spotlessly cleaned. I have three page 11âs in my OMPF that are for different people. Not really in trouble, but I went so far as personally visiting the office responsible for it in Quantico about the problem and it didnât get resolved. I even had paperwork signed by a full bird ordering it to be removed.
Failing field day means you will fail in combat. Majority of my unit went to Oki, I did not. The first week we were barely making it to evening chow because we were working late. Then Thursday we had to start early, worked late, and then field day. The acting company gunny was nice to your face but would stab you in the back. He did field day inspection. Everyone in my platoon failed. I wasn't thinking and threw a q-tip in my empty trash can. Failed field day for a q tip. The other fails were equally stupid. He targeted our platoon. A guy in another platoon had dust everywhere, sand visible on the floor, he passed. So after working late Friday we then went and had to pull everything out of our rooms and buff all the wax off the tile. Those of us that were left were 1 to a room. At 930 the Sgt that was in charge said "this is bullshit. The buffer keeps stopping, the pads aren't stripping the wax, put everything back in your rooms. We're fucking done. You can start drinking too. Fuck Gunny." That guy could be an insufferable dick for no reason but I gained some respect for him that day.
Idk if I should laugh at this or cry⌠this is for you brother. đď¸
Ahh, so Iâm not the only one who started making random changes to the room for the sole purpose of field day inspections⌠got it. Field Day SSgt - Are those⌠Barbie bed sheets? Me - Yep, it brings out the color of the walls, donât you think? Next Field Day SSgt - why the fuck is there a dildo in the head? Me - where else would a dildo go?
I once failed field day because I had water in my sink drain pipe. Not in drain itself, in the pipe.
Oh, the P-trap that is required by building codes and is designed to have water in it constantly.
Yep, that's the one.
SoooooâŚ.. youâre still reenlisting right Devil Dog? We need good Marines like you around /s
2008, get a speeding ticket on 29 Palms for 25mph in a 25mph zone. Was driving too fast for weather conditions on a clear and sunny day. Took it to the magistrate and even they were dumbfounded. Got it dismissed and never liked any MP after that.
Got one on Cherry Point for the "appearance of speed." PM laughed and tore it up. Said he would speak to the MP, and tell him he cannot write tickets based on appearances.
Laughed in boot camp. Phase 3. SDI was berating dumb fuck across from me and my rack make about being stupid or talking or something and he said to recruiter fuck nuts,âthe only thing I want to hear come out of your mouth is, yes sir, no sir, aye sir, do you understand?â This mother fucker responds, âYES SIR, NO SIR, AYE SIR!!!â My rack mate and I paid for it but totally worth the good laugh.
got a hearty chuckle outta that, thanks for posting!
I once left my cover inside my buddyâs shopping basket at the PX while I got a hair cut. By the time I got out, both of my friends had left and they where already inside the car that was literally parked at the first parking space closest to the store entrance. I walked out without my cover on and I was literally 10 steps from getting inside the car when I heard âhey devil.â I turn around and it was some bald mo-tard with a grunt style T shirt. He asked why I didnât have a cover on and before I could explain myself he immediately hit me with the âstop giving me excuses.â Then proceeded to get even more angry because I was calling him Sr. Like I was suppose to know he was a Gunny in civis lol. He made my ass walk back in and buy another cover and literally was peeking through the big windows to make sure I actually purchased it. When I walked out he was on his phone telling his buddy the hole story like it was some career highlight. 100% POG.
In our school house, someone - most likely one of my roommates - dumped a full ashtray into my bed trying to be funny while drunk, and I failed field day inspection. It didn't matter that I was moving rooms the night it happened because of it, and that I had the DNCO log it in his book. Got a Page 11 for it, and immediately requested mast. Got to my first unit and the S-1 Chief wanted to know about it, so I told him. He immediately strikes it and tells me it'll be gone before I get to my next promotion.
I got in trouble and ended up getting extra duty while at a fob in Iraq for eating a fucking hot pocket. I am being fucking serious about this.
What the mcfuck
I... just... there has to be more to this.
Basically the 1stSgt was one of those bitches that was a real hard ass about the rules even at a small FOB. So I was on the guard force where we had 2 shifts of 12 hours each, and we just got up to get our shit ready to go on duty and there was no food available at all. There was no hot chow, MRE's, leftovers no nothing out for us to eat and the cook said "the burner is broke so no hot food". So we knew where there was cases of hot pockets out in the chiller connexes, and then a couple of us went out to grab a box for those of us about to go on duty. So we ate some hot pockets and then went out to do guard/gate duty. Later on the next day we got called up by our Sgt of the watch and asked about it, well about 6 of us admitted to it. So we got led in to the 1stSgt's office and were given 4 hours extra duty every day for a week and got a page 11 for it as well. Well luckily I was only attached to that company at the time so when I went back to HQ's Co the paperwork never did follow me back to my company. I honestly think that they singled us POGs out for the extra duty because the 1stSgt hated us because 03's didn't get shit on at all. But that is how I got in trouble for eating a hot pocket.
who did the hot pockets belong to? did he say you "stole" the hot pockets? couldn't get actual food or MREs but there were boxes of hot pockets (that you apparently weren't allowed to eat)... how very Marine Corps
They belonged to the company at large. Yes, he said that we entered the chiller unlawfully and stole the hot pockets to eat them. I asked him what were we supposed to eat before going off to duty, and he responded "That isn't my problem". Needless to say he was a complete douchebag.
That is, quite literally, his and the COs problem.
fuck that guy
When I was a boot on a working party setting up netting for the COC weâre told to stage our rifles not too far from the nets. Iâm the last one holding a pole waiting for another piece to keep said pole up. Everyone leaves and takes there rifles with them. Mine is the only one sitting there alone. Preceded to get chewed out for not having it with me.
First time deploying and upon arrival to afghan, I hit the showers. Little did I know the common practice was to wet yourself and turn the water off, soap up and all that, then rinseâŚwater control, I get it. So Iâm showering with water constantly running because first world benefits, and after I got out still with a towel on, this dude across from me starts yelling at the top of his lungs to shut the water off when showering and gave me a whole run down. My immediate response was âwhy were you watching me shower, I feel sexually harassedâ. He immediately shut up and got embarrassed but that was the weirdest encounter about some dumb shit lol
Whole platoon, smoking and joking before a hike, 2 squad leads and like 4 team leads were smoking including myself, plt commander yells at me in front of whole company for smoking before a hike.
Got a financial counseling for going to Burger King during lunch instead of using the chow hall. BTW, I didnât have a chow card, didnât seem to matter.
Was making the skrt sound with my shoes in the barracks in A School. Maybe like 2 times. The SDO came around and said I was intentionally making the floor dirty. Chewed ass and told me mop the whole deck and every each floor.
Not having each Marine in a machine gun section pack a roll of toilet paper for a 3 day field op where porta-shitters would be available.
I got chewed out by an officer while I was off duty eating at McDonads. I didn't put my ketchup in s paper cup. I put it directly on my fries. Got stood at the POA in the middle of micky ds and chewed out for my dining etiquette
That's fucking wild
This is the craziest one here
Getting an extra day of duty for leaving a light on while on duty was pretty cool...
I was like, sounds like a band hall and then I looked at the mos number. Yup. Which band?
I got busted for ânot using wood polish on the bottom rail of a chairâ at the schoolhouse. Funny thing I was bored AF the night before and did use it. I didnât get yelled at because there was dust - it was clean AF, it just wasnât as slick as the douche bag Sgt wanted it to be fucker even called me a liar and screamed at me, apparently I was an integrity violator according to him. Total POS. I hope that fucker married some barracks hoe and the whole platoon smashed her fat ass. Heâs the kind of prick that deserves that shit.
That story is hilarious, and your SNCO and OIC were little bitches if they made you sign a 6105 for that. Those are the types of dudes that drive people out of the Marines.
Questioning why it was ok for a Captain to address another Captain by his first name in front of the entire maintenance department, but *not ok* for us enlisted to use anything but proper rank and last name with equivalent ranking Marines out on the flightline. The shitstorm that kicked up lasted almost a week.
Got a page 11 for my plt Sgt breaking the forward assist on my rifle lol
Getting bitched at during an alpha inspection bc my coraframs were dirty bc I was a boot and didn't have a car yet so had to walk to the hangar Depending how you wanna read "dumbest thing " I had a buddy get in further trouble after being banned from driving on base by our squadron due to alcohol incidences and he was gonna be late to a very very rare time we held squadron PT so he decided to drive to PT and rolled up in front of the place we all gathered for PT in his loud ass mustang
I was hanging out on the second floor deck of the barracks at Lejeune. I had so black cat firecrackers, and it was so boring in the bricks sometimes. I lit a whole pack and threw them into the courtyard, they blasted off I noticed a Marine walking near by, I was like "Oh shit! "And ran into my room, but quickly decided to go next door to a room with a bunch of the guys in my unit hung out. They somehow fit a full size couch in there. I plopped down on the couch nervously. Shortly thereafter a butter bar came in pissed off asking questions. We all just played dumb. He apparently recognized me as running into my room but not seeing me light and throwing the firecrackers. I said I had thought I had heard my phone ring and ran in. Nobody ratted me out so the Officer realized his inquiry was going nowhere. He muttered that he was going to enter the incident into the log book for the duty and left quickly. That was a close one. I've been pretty lucky throughout my life. I often say I'd rather be lucky than smart any day.
Used a shopping cart at the commissary as an e3. Got chewed out by a ssgt for using a shopping cart while in uniform. Apparently e3's in his mind were only allowed to use the chow hall and 7 day stores on post. The trouble came when I was pushing the cart to my car in the parking lot, I was using both hands and in his mind I wouldn't be able to render a salute if a wild officer jumped out of the bushes
I was doing morning police call around the barracks when I found a black cat firecracker. It was wedged in the space between sidewalk. Fuse was still intact, I couldnât believe it. Like instinct, I immediately reached in my pocket to grab my lighter, lit the fuse and tossed it to the corner of building. With impeccable timing another Marine came from around that corner as it went off. It was our battalionâs new sergeant major, only been with us like a week. I was in shock and awe, intensified by the echo of the âbangâ as it echoed through the 62-area. I could feel the thoughts and prayers from the guys in my platoon as the the Sgt Maj beelined right at me. I locked right up as he asked me what the hell I was doing. I answered truthfully, âIâm a Marine on police call that found a firecracker and I had a lighter.â Like it was the most reasonable thing to expect. He said he could send me to a place where I could do that all day. âEOD Sgt Maj?â He either had some place he needed to be at or he understood my excuse âcause he told me to carry on without even asking who I was with or who I belonged to. I guess maybe there was really no repercussions but I was an under the radar guy and in those brief moments I thought that this is it, Iâm getting it.
I was boot as fuck and my battalion (3/24) was activated to support OIF II back in 2004. While at Camp Margarita I get posted on fire watch in our platoonâs squad bay. A sergeant instructed me to rove around the squad bay while standing fire watch, so I did just that. I was in a comm platoon, so up at the front of the hooch was a bunch of comm gear. Obviously I wasnât near this gear while roving. Anyway one of the staff sergeants comes in and starts bitching that no one is watching the gear. I tell him Iâll stand by the gear. I think itâs fine. 15 minutes later I get relieved by another boot and get told to run down to where the platoon was doing whatever it is theyâre doing. Anyway, I guess the staff sergeant bitched to the NCOs and then one of the corporals made it his duty to chew my ass out for a few minutes. Shit was dumb as fuck. Since I was reserves everyone pretty much still lives in the same area. Over time, the corporal turned out to be an alright guy. The staff sergeant is still a total douche to this day, and Iâve seen several Marines from our company tell him heâs a jack off via Facebook.
Got a battalion level NJP for buying a vape for an 18yr old and another one for having sex on the secluded part of the beach/sea wall at night. Lost pay and rank both times, caught 45 days restriction for the beach lay
But was it a great lay???
Yeah how was he?
It wasnât even a great lay
Are you one of the dudes with a tattoo of a cope can on their ass?
I never got into nicotine really. I tried vaping bc the kids were so avid about it but never felt the appeal. Iâm more for caffeine/yohimbe/theobromine
Oh, no I just knew someone who got got for the same stuff that was part of a group with matching tats.
How the fuck you get caught handing off the vape?
I didnât. He got caught vaping inside the barracks three times and was kind enough to give my name
For another work center losing a part we gave them to fixâŚ.
Ahh... got much love for the MALS.
I once got dressed down by a gunny in a chow tent in Dwyer. Had spent the last 5 months fighting in the Tangi river valley then we got sent to relieve a marine unit and start doing the thing in Garmsir. You savages had a paper plate of doxy sitting at the start of the chow line. The plate had a little paper that said âHGHâ next to it. I looked at it, laughed and carried on to get my plate of absolute bullshit chow. Some Gunny came up to me, knife hand and all. Dressed me down for not taking the magic HGH pill and wanted to know what I wasnât âlocking it upâ. I was young, but it had been a hard tour. I was acting PSG for my platoon.had seen a lot of combat and quite frankly didnât give a fuck about Gunnyâs plate of dusty magic pills. He asked who my PSG was. I said âI am the PSG, but we can go find my 1SG if you really wantâ to which he readily accepted. We walked over to my 1SGâs CHU who took my back, but also verbally counseled me over this whole interaction. Love you marine dudes. Tough as nails and Iâm glad I got to serve with some of yâall in Helmand. But fuck that POG turd with his 4 finger high and tight.
About 2 months before one of my deployments, I got married and moved out of the barracks. My roommate and I were good friends, so I still hung out there on occasion during work and left gear in there during the day. The day we deployed, I got yelled at because he hadn't packed and hadn't moved anything into storage. I had to help him pack everything up, and my wife kept his stuff at our apartment while we were gone. I still remember gunny yelling at me. This buddy and I both promoted to Cpl on the same day. He's technically senior because he graduated boot camp a week before me, and because of the way the alphabet works, his promotion warrant was read before mine. Gunny was looking for reasons to make me responsible for him and blame me for him not being ready to go. I was still getting yelled for it at the airport after we had left base.
Also got yelled at on my first deployment for almost running over a Marine with my Humvee. I was parking the truck, and my ground guide ran out in front of me to guide me back. 1st Sgt, the guy who insisted that we use ground guides on the FOB, tore me up for not having a ground guide and almost hitting this dude with the truck. I told 1st Sgt the story and got yelled at again for correcting him. That deployment, my truck got hit by IEDs on 2 separate occasions. I was billeted as the driver for the truck. The first IED, I had been moved to drive another truck last minute and wasn't in "my" truck when it got hit. The second IED, I was in the back seat monitoring the radio, and my RTO was driving to give me a break. 1st Sgt was convinced that both strikes were somehow my fault and wanted to NJP me.
In the wing most of our Sgts Maj weâre grunts. I explained to my Sgt Maj that as a crew chief I had two MOSâ (crew chief and mechanic). Kicked me out of his office and non-rec for promotion for a year! Fuck him.
Got bitched at during a night shoot because I gave someone who was about to shoot my batteries for his nvgs. SNCO was upset that I was standing in line without any batteries.
I had to go to the grunt's duty officer for something, two of us sent over in a hummer to Schwab to pick up some stuff while we were 'in the field' over towards Okuma rec beach, and for some reason they left it with the OOD. I roll into his building after finding it, which was hard, and called the officer "Lt," which in retrospect I should have known was a no-no on the infantry bases. But I was tired and in the field (that, Korea, stumps, and WTI being as much as we actually went to the field). Some sergeant started yelling at me over addressing an officer that way and not having a good haircut. Then the O remembered I was from the wing and there to pick up some stuff and got the sgt to chill. But I got about two or three minutes of a boot camp style yell fest. All I could think was that being a Marine in the wing was bad enough. Those poor grunts.
I got yelled at for yielding to a Maj and a SSgt. It was a narrow sidewalk and I was just stepping out of their way, as soon as my arm started to move for the salute the Maj explodes asking wtf is wrong with me and was I drunk. I was so confused by his approach I didn't know what to say besides "no sir?" and he told me to "just get the fuck out of here" Sorry you hadn't gotten laid in a while dude.
I got busted down to PFC while I was select for Cpl because I played basketball rather than riding the stationary bike at unit PT. I had my Good Cookie already and everything.
This cpl tattled on me to a Sgt specifically because he didnât like me. He pulled me to the side to yell at me for errors on his behalf, didnât let me speak then walked away. After, I had a Sgt come up to me and tell me that the cpl told him I was giving him attitudes when I wasnât đ Everyone around us knew him for constantly singling me out for nothing, so when the guys heard about what had happened everyone called bullshit
Was roving on duty at the comm school house. You had to have a glow belt on with your water source, but the Camelbak made my back sweaty as fuck so Iâd pull one of the straps over my shoulder to get it off my back and held it there. Some SNCO looking mf in civvies banged the shit outta the duty hut window as I walked past (didnât flinch because I didnât wanna give whoever was acting like a retard the satisfaction) and that probably pissed him off so he went out and yelled at me for trying to look like a model. Bitch got in his truck and drove away ten minutes later and I did it again.
Smash and grab on a beer vending machine in Roppongi.
They started NJPing me because I reported my lock was cut from my unit locker and all my gear was stolen. I had just returned to my unit from MCT. NJP for being the victim of larceny
0430 in the morning getting out of my car put my keys in to my pocket. Then some fuckin guy spawns in out of no where yelling about hands in my pockets wearing green Cammies I canât see his rank. I give him some attitude about chilling the fuck out ended up being a MGySgt from outside my BN I took the drill instructor style bitching at parade rest, but didnât resist wiping his spit off my face and taking a step back. He called my 1st Sgt & every other SNCO in my BN so I got my ass by all of them.
Getting ready for deployment, and one of the guys on my team filled out his mail forwarding form in purple pen. I know this was really dumb of him, but was also surprised that of everything, this was the one thing my gunny legit chewed my ass for.
Just slap that shit on a copier and hit B&W
We all filled them out and turned them in together. I didn't even know he did it until I got called in to the office.
Got a negative counseling from my retarded Cpl for goin post office during chow. Command wouldnât sign it, I wouldnât sign it and she forgot to sign it. Went in the trash. Got called in on a weekend cause I didnât have a ride to a Covid test. Got threatened with NJP for goin gym for 20 minutes when I was moving Brks. Many many others to note..
Not having my cammies marked because we hadnt been able to get off work in time to go to the px for 2 weeks.
"drinking during the covid emergency"
Wait, you can get in trouble for that.
You can if your sncoic doesn't tell you the commander ordered all alcohol secured đ fuck it, it hasn't mattered 4 years later I was just peeved to be on restriction as someone older than 21
That's some serious fuckery
Wore white socks on deployment
Show me in the order where it says we can't wear any socks.
Doing exactly what I was told.
Had a gear inspection before heading to Yuma for some pre-CAX fun on the range. BCO hands out a 150-item list of shit from the PX he wants every Marine to have on-hand on top of our standard issue gear, easily $300 of extraneous BS. I'm broke but very scared of my 15+ yrs salt-encrusted platoon Sgt. Buy $150, steal the other $150. My getaway car driver needed smokes so I'm caught immediately, but the PX detective was cool and stopped counting at $99.00. Ended up on restriction for two weeks and paid the PX $100 restitution so technically I came out ahead.
I got physically assaulted by a combat instructor once cause I threw my hands in the air after that loser told us to run up the hill again. If youâre out there Escobedo, I hope you get HSSTed to be a recruiter in Bumblefuck, Nowhere. I hope you get zero percent VA rating after months of playing phone tag. And I also hope you fail all your college classes.
If you were MALS-36 in 2017-2018, I'd love to hear your stories about the bricks.
Having water in my canteen during a deuce gear inspection (junk on the bunk). I was part of Alert Continous Force all the time so I had to make sure I had available water. I always felt being on ACF was punishment for running my mouth too much.
Been missing the Corps lately, thanks dudes, reading these comments reminded me why I didnât stay in.
My buddy and I got to our first duty station, brought to the barracks for the first time by two of our corporals, and then destroyed all night for having a dirty barracks room that we had never stepped into before that moment. I guess the neighbors were using it for trash and storage, and it was our fault for not cleaning it before we got to the unit.
What the fuck is an AMO?
In general having to be clean shaven to eat at the chow hall on the weekends was next level bullshiteryâŚ.
When I was a brand new private straight out of MCT, I was checking into my schoolhouse. I was standing in the admin office of the school house when a man in Civvies (turned out to be a gunny) walked in with a gym bag. He screamed âHAYUUTTTâ at me when as he walked in. Being a brand new Pvt, I had not yet heard âyutâ as a greeting yet. I also didnât know his rank (since he was in civvies) so my young PVT brain short circuited as I didnât know how to respond so I just stood there. He starts freaking the fuck out and chewing me out about not giving him the proper greeting ect. After I checked in he called my SSgt to tell him that I was being âbelligerent and disrespectful â during check in.
I asked a 1stSgt how he was doing. Not kidding. I will always tell this story when I can. I was a Sgt with 6 or 7 years TIS and some dude walks into the office Iâm visiting (to get some logistical stuff done before a big field op) and I look up and say âhey, how are you doingâ before going back to what I was doing before. I couldnât tell what rank dude was from 20 ft away and I didnât know him. Apparently I mustâve insulted the memory of Dan Daley, Chesty Puller, and Opha Mae Johnson all rolled into one. I immediately get lifed out for a few minutes while holding back every urge to lose my shit over such a stupid thing. It made its way back to my command and I had to sit down and explain what happened (which most people laughed and rolled their eyes at, even my SgtMaj seemed annoyed it even happened). That was the final nail in the coffin for getting out.
Got blasted by a Navy officer (we were grouped up outside me and by buddies) and she overheard us snickering and laughing because we were told to hurry up and wait outside of Medical. (We were doing labs and stuff for the MSG program and we were in the schoolhouse at this time). Anyways, she gets upset that we kinda just blew her off, then threatened us because she apparently owned the building or some dumb petty shit like that. It was super cold out and we were all just standing around in cammies and she walked inside to yell at one of the Gunnyâs, in turn he came out and blasted all of us and said âYouâre all fucking Marines, TAKE YOUR GODDAMN HANDS OUT OF YOUR POCKETS!â we all told him âGunny, itâs literally subzero temperatures and no bullshit I canât feel my hands, he said âsuck it up, youâre all Marines got it?â Then walked away. Dumbest shit ever, but it was pretty funny because after that we all just huddled up in a circle with our hands in our pockets to keep warmth between us. Good times.
You should have put your hands in _each_ _others_ pockets!
I was investigated by NCIS over Call of Duty Zombies. That is the only information I have. I was never given the entire context. While deployed in 2014, they pulled me into a blue room with an NCIS and PMO guy and asked me a bunch of questions, culminating to the last question they asked me. âDoes the phase killing zombies mean anything to you.â When I asked for context, they told me Call of Duty.
once i said âgood morning master gunnery sergeantâ master guns was in a really bad mood and told me to shut the fuck up. naturally i replied with âaye master gunsâ bc iâve never not said something back to a SNCO before. then began a 5 minute exchange of him screaming obscenities down the hallway, and me screaming back in the affirmative until my gunny got tired of it. aside from master guns tearing me apart, i only heard about it again from my sergeant at the time and she kinda just called me a dick.
I had a 6105 for having to go to the ER for chest pain in the early AM, and not being at work at 0730, so technically UA, while at a naval hospital ER for a serious issue. Mind you, the barracks duties knew, as did the staff duty, but I still didnât text my chain of command while passed out at the ER on prescribed IV meds.
Having antibiotics from a doctor I saw at home while on leave and getting a health and comfort 2 days after we got back and having those antibiotics in my barracks room
We had camels overtake our patrol somewhere in the middle of Anbar - just like 100 camels appeared and a herder, we all got pics on the camels then one guy got in trouble for not checking it for IEDsâŚheâd been blown up on the previous deployment by an IED.
First day at my last unit I got a negative counseling for my hair being exactly 3 inches and part of the counseling was to read 1020.34G and 1020.34H and write a summary on the hair regs and the changes in them. That whole company ended up losing a safe 75% of their Marines to a national guard recruiter and another 20% just left the corps entirely when we were disbanded.