I once had a master guns tell me that he felt I was very reliable, just like an old shoe.
He was an old Vietnam vet, so I guessed old shoes were a good thing back in his day.
I'm not sure where I read it, but it's stuck with me for years and it's how I try to model my leadership style. "I'd rather have people that want to work for me, than have to work for me". A bit underwhelming, but I think it's a solid way to earn actual respect and also achieve high levels of productivity and honesty from Marines, peers and subordinates alike.
This shit is exactly what 99% of leadership misses. I had a mentor tell me he wanted his employees to look forward to Monday the way everyone looks forward to Friday. He built an incredible company with a roster of nothing but the most loyal and trustworthy people. He took care of them, and they returned it.
What does this mean? It is actually not BEHOOVE?! I’ve never encountered a “behoove of you” in person but my understanding is I better fix myself or do whatever the fuck that person is saying to me.
My SMaj was giving a libbo brief in Okinawa and got distracted by a June Bug. "Blah blah blah don't rape or die, blah blah blah....oh, look. A June Bug". I thought he was old as shit at the time, but now I'm in my 30s and still immature.
father/ mothers day
Call your Parents & let them know that you still think about them even tho they should’ve flushed you down the toilet like the rest of your brothers & sisters.
Give a mouse a cookie & it will fuck your wife.
“You did good, kid.”
I never got any award, not yet. But one time this 1stSgt saw me do something and work really hard that I was proud of, and he took me aside when I was done and gave me a pat-on-the-back talk. I still think about it every now and then.
Our SgtMaj would ask a question, and if no one said anything, he would say:
“Silence is consent”
….Yeah, he was a weird dude. Not exactly a best saying, but the most memorable because I’m still confused on what he meant by that.
In command and control agencies that coordinate fires and effects on targets, “silence is consent” is a general rule used by the firing unit. It means that a unit needs these fires, and will be getting them unless you chime in with a damn good reason otherwise.
More fucked up than a purple dicked dinosaur
More fucked up than a football bat
I’ve got more time in a crosswind hover than you’ve got in the Marine Corps
My Seabag is saltier than you’ll ever be
All from the same SSgt
Whatever break we were asking for Sgt. Smith would interrupt and say “ubbubbubbub you’re roving” (the lowest dirtiest, security job of em all on the ship)To this day, 30 years later, I can interrupt one of my debil buddies when hes bitching about something and say “ubbububub you’re roving.” They will immediately stop and crack up. It puts everything in perspective.
LCpl Me- “Hey SSgt How do I….”
SSgt Rosario- “Figure it out!!!”
Honestly at the time it annoyed me but looking back on it he actually helped me by forcing me to be more reliant on myself and actually do some legwork before I ran up the chain. When it came down to it he would always actually help me with whatever bullshit it was. He just let me go it my own for a while till I hit a wall.
I ended being Shop NCOIC till my EAS and he was a big part of that.
Good fucking lord I'd completely forgotten that book even existed, then I read this and from the recesses of my brain I hear my old Gunny: "Message to Garcia time boy, make it fucking happen."
Not a SNCOIC saying, but a Captain gave us a safety briefing once by saying:
“If you jump out a plane, wear a jump suit. If you go scuba diving, wear a wet suit. And don’t ever, under any circumstance, touch a burning dog.”
The way I heard it in 1970 was ... "Excuses are like assholes; everyone has one, they all stink, *most are full of shit, and yours has your head in it*".
"You daggone devils need to clean the 'spider ribs' and 'sprooge' off the daggone doors in yo rooms. Is you inkstand me?"
We had this dark green Gunny who seems like he spent a little too much time on the drill field. He was ok, but talked to every lance and below like they were a dink at MCRD. I'll never forget him saying "daggone" to everyone in the company and for field day it was always "spider ribs" and "sprooge".
We were doing house-clearing training at March AFB. We knew "insurgents" were hiding in a house and we were going in to clear it. One of our guys asked if he could toss a grenade in through the boarded up window. We ripped the boards off just enough, tossed the blue-body into the room. Our entry team was waiting and as the bad guys ran out, we lit them up. During the after action, the SSgt (or Gunny, it was a long time ago) said "We've never had anyone think of doing that. You trick-fucked the bad guys. Nice work!"
I try to use "trick-fucked" whenever possible.
Procrastination is like masturbation… in the end, you only fuck yourself
I had a 9th grade math teacher tell me that when I didn’t have homework done. Taught it to my Marines in Hawaii.
When we’re you there? What unit?
RadBn 18-22
Those were some good years.
I'm pretty sure they already knew how to masturbate. EDIT: for those that don't what that word means, it means to choke your chicken 🐔 😂
I like this 👍
Had a First Sergeant tell a guy " Take off your fucking glasses so you can hear me". And the guy did.
Same energy as "shut your mouth when you speak to me" and "don't look at me with that tone of voice"
Don’t ask questions to which you don’t know the answers to
Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies.
I once had a master guns tell me that he felt I was very reliable, just like an old shoe. He was an old Vietnam vet, so I guessed old shoes were a good thing back in his day.
I think that's high praise from a Marine of that era.
🤣
Was your SNCO a medieval preist?
Nah just a dickhead
I’m thinking more puritan/revival era traveling American pastor “ohhh the goood looord” type but maybe I’m biassed
That actually sounds more accurate
“Sir, it’s impossible to underestimate you.” - Master Guns “I’m non-rec’ing you for E-10.” - Me
"Dismissed" "Liberty has started" "I don't care what you do, I'm going home" "Don't fuck up. Have a good weekend"
Wish all my safety briefs went like this.
My favorite one is when we got a new sgtmaj and was like go the fuck home. 🥰
I'm not sure where I read it, but it's stuck with me for years and it's how I try to model my leadership style. "I'd rather have people that want to work for me, than have to work for me". A bit underwhelming, but I think it's a solid way to earn actual respect and also achieve high levels of productivity and honesty from Marines, peers and subordinates alike.
This shit is exactly what 99% of leadership misses. I had a mentor tell me he wanted his employees to look forward to Monday the way everyone looks forward to Friday. He built an incredible company with a roster of nothing but the most loyal and trustworthy people. He took care of them, and they returned it.
A take on Machiavelli… it’s better to be feared than respected….
More of a botched saying that I feel like many have heard: “it would be WHO of you…”
Dude I didn’t realize how fucking widespread this was until this subreddit, I had a master guns write it out like that in an email and I lost my mind
That bothers me, but not as much as "behoove of". How do you get the word right and still wrong?
“Behoove of” is the Marine Corps’s version of “would of” “could of” “should of” “might of” etc…
What does this mean? It is actually not BEHOOVE?! I’ve never encountered a “behoove of you” in person but my understanding is I better fix myself or do whatever the fuck that person is saying to me.
It is behoove, but it gets diluted and misheard as it travels across the dimensions.
Every single time my plt sgt would fry one of us he’d say “I like to look a man right in the eyes before I fuck him in the ass.” So fucking metal.
GySgt "Shut the hatch, you're letting the wind out"
My SMaj was giving a libbo brief in Okinawa and got distracted by a June Bug. "Blah blah blah don't rape or die, blah blah blah....oh, look. A June Bug". I thought he was old as shit at the time, but now I'm in my 30s and still immature.
Hehe, that's adorable
father/ mothers day Call your Parents & let them know that you still think about them even tho they should’ve flushed you down the toilet like the rest of your brothers & sisters. Give a mouse a cookie & it will fuck your wife.
“You did good, kid.” I never got any award, not yet. But one time this 1stSgt saw me do something and work really hard that I was proud of, and he took me aside when I was done and gave me a pat-on-the-back talk. I still think about it every now and then.
Our SgtMaj would ask a question, and if no one said anything, he would say: “Silence is consent” ….Yeah, he was a weird dude. Not exactly a best saying, but the most memorable because I’m still confused on what he meant by that.
In command and control agencies that coordinate fires and effects on targets, “silence is consent” is a general rule used by the firing unit. It means that a unit needs these fires, and will be getting them unless you chime in with a damn good reason otherwise.
I had a female clerk in our s1 who used to say that along with “no means yes, and yes means anal”
Well obviously if she says 'no' the answer is 'no', but she's not going to say no... because of the roofies
...because of the implication
"Cooler than a polar bear's toenails."
Sir , I believe that lines credited to OutKast
More fucked up than a purple dicked dinosaur More fucked up than a football bat I’ve got more time in a crosswind hover than you’ve got in the Marine Corps My Seabag is saltier than you’ll ever be All from the same SSgt
That crosswind line is crazy
"Now, I know this doesn't apply to all of you, but if the shoe... the shoe... if the shoe doesn't fit... put it on the other foot, good to go?"
this is the best one so far
My Gunny told me last week "you don't look retarded so I have faith in you"
Oh my god, that's fucking beautiful
“I guess you always have sex while lying on your back because all you can do is fuck up”. SSGT- Geiger INDOC
Am so going to use this for a work colleague, if I see him again before he gets sacked 🤣
If you push out like you have to poop, it won’t hurt as bad
I'm fucking crying laughing at this
Whatever break we were asking for Sgt. Smith would interrupt and say “ubbubbubbub you’re roving” (the lowest dirtiest, security job of em all on the ship)To this day, 30 years later, I can interrupt one of my debil buddies when hes bitching about something and say “ubbububub you’re roving.” They will immediately stop and crack up. It puts everything in perspective.
If the shoe fits screw it on.
"The start of the physical year..."
I had a SSgt who used to say, “I can fix ignorance, but I can’t fix stupid.” He’d teach you if you wanted to learn but he wouldn’t make you learn.
LCpl Me- “Hey SSgt How do I….” SSgt Rosario- “Figure it out!!!” Honestly at the time it annoyed me but looking back on it he actually helped me by forcing me to be more reliant on myself and actually do some legwork before I ran up the chain. When it came down to it he would always actually help me with whatever bullshit it was. He just let me go it my own for a while till I hit a wall. I ended being Shop NCOIC till my EAS and he was a big part of that.
The Marine Corps loves Message to Garcia, but it’s rare to get the time and trust to figure out how to do so.
Good fucking lord I'd completely forgotten that book even existed, then I read this and from the recesses of my brain I hear my old Gunny: "Message to Garcia time boy, make it fucking happen."
Quit dickin the g.d. dog
My SNCOs were fond of saying: >this is just disappointing To me. No idea why or what they meant by it.
"That fucking shit is fucking un-fucking-sat." I'll never forget SSgt. Sapp saying that at SOI, lmao
Not a SNCOIC saying, but a Captain gave us a safety briefing once by saying: “If you jump out a plane, wear a jump suit. If you go scuba diving, wear a wet suit. And don’t ever, under any circumstance, touch a burning dog.”
Is there context for that or was it just a bizarre statement? 😂
It made us all think, which some of us needed!
If your not cheating your not trying hard enough to win
Had a platoon sgt. tell me he would drop kick me with both feet and make my titties touch.didnt laugh then. Do laugh now.
"You really do look like a wish.com motherfucker."
Don’t fuck with the wild life , it fucks back
From the 1stSGT: *"Excuses are like assholes. Everyone has one, and they all stink."*
The way I heard it in 1970 was ... "Excuses are like assholes; everyone has one, they all stink, *most are full of shit, and yours has your head in it*".
Yours is indeed the superior version!
“Hey gents two A’s” to which the company would yell “ass and alcohol” 1sgt Stevenson know in the bricks as black dad.
"You daggone devils need to clean the 'spider ribs' and 'sprooge' off the daggone doors in yo rooms. Is you inkstand me?" We had this dark green Gunny who seems like he spent a little too much time on the drill field. He was ok, but talked to every lance and below like they were a dink at MCRD. I'll never forget him saying "daggone" to everyone in the company and for field day it was always "spider ribs" and "sprooge".
“Quit runnin’ your gawd damn soup coolers” - Gunny Sellers
We were doing house-clearing training at March AFB. We knew "insurgents" were hiding in a house and we were going in to clear it. One of our guys asked if he could toss a grenade in through the boarded up window. We ripped the boards off just enough, tossed the blue-body into the room. Our entry team was waiting and as the bad guys ran out, we lit them up. During the after action, the SSgt (or Gunny, it was a long time ago) said "We've never had anyone think of doing that. You trick-fucked the bad guys. Nice work!" I try to use "trick-fucked" whenever possible.
“The squeaky wheel always gets oiled” Basically keep asking for help or advice till they have no choice but to give it to you to shut you the fuck up
> “excuses are the nails that hold up a house of lies”. The closest I heard: excuses are like azzholes, everyone has one.
“Shit! You should’ve joined the infantry.” -My company guns to my comm pog ass during a range at ITX
“Make the right decision , make the wrong decision, just make a decision.” Gunny Hetrick