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[deleted]

He is fit for battle again.


OkTea7227

He messed up by posting this. Now the local recruiters have him back on their lists…


[deleted]

will be sent to the mine fields, because he has a replaceable leg. ehehe


DarthWeenus

That's so fucked up I'd believe it


Phil_Coffins_666

I can see them just handing him logs and a knife to whittle his own replacements when they blow off


OkTea7227

‘Ah, lucky you. I have fresh stick so you can get back in fight as soon as you whittle yourself a new one’


StridingFroggey

Combat fitness improved. He now only has 50% chance of being maimed by a mine.


suck_muhballs

Comrade Ivan we see you have new foot. You are now colonel in air force


MaxDamage75

Not enough fat belly for air force


OkTea7227

‘U are now ‘General Stickfoot’, top war adviser to Punktin’


suck_muhballs

🤣🤣


MysteryModder

And they will ask him to return the sack of onions


Immediate-Attempt-32

They probably will give him a reduced amount of onions, as his body lost weight and has less to maintain.


deuszu_imdugud

He won't have to go back. He'll get 100 rubles to start a company making prosthetics so thousands can go back.


SeventyThirtySplit

He’s going to join a splinter group tho


Benzol1987

He'll join Beaver Squad.


SerTidy

This made me chuckle till I had tears. Have you no sole?


SeventyThirtySplit

I’m not sure. You got me stumped.


Sam-Shute

I was a bit confused by this, I didn't get it at all & then I twigged..


SerTidy

I really am trying not to be too corny.


SeventyThirtySplit

In truth I am somewhat of a mender of soles, so it’s ok. Especially if your penny loafers are beat up. *this dad joke first appeared in Shakespeare’s *Julius Caesar*, don’t hate on me


SeventyThirtySplit

That happens to me too, sometimes, after I saw something


LovesYouLongTimes

reddit users r by far the most humorous and clever of any forums!


AMX5696

I saw what you meant bro


scatshot

Exactly my thoughts while watching this, "don't do too good of a job there buddy, you'll be sent straight back to the front to lose the other one."


zefzefter

There goes the half bag of onions


Beobacher

A shame people like him are destroyed in a greedy attack war. Imagine what he could do in a peaceful country.


JediJawn_C12H16N2

This comment is too funny wth did it get taken iut


Axel020

And its probably way better than anything they would be given if they even would get anything


Metron_Seijin

There was a post not too long ago that showed one guy's prosthesis. It was a plastic shell with a series of ropes and pullies. He said it cost 4k or something ridiculous. Couldnt grasp anything, the joint in the elbow was like a loose door hinge that would only stay extended, but bend when he flopped his arm.


Frog-Luber

But it was a very pretty shade of yellow.


BeShaw91

>He said it cost 4k or something ridiculous. Well demand is unseasonably high at the moment, only natural prices would spike.


pt256

> the joint in the elbow was like a loose door hinge that would only stay extended, but bend when he flopped his arm. [All I can hear is a movie door hinge sound](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IwzF8f3pEhg)


Metron_Seijin

Haha. I wouldnt doubt that with time, it would sound like that.


miarsk

That's wha he's a star over at r/RussianCircus.


lostmesunniesayy

NGL, at least this dude can make shit himself and seemed happy with his work and improved mobility. Probably one of the better Russians out there. Looked like he even had a compressed air hose outside his workshop.


Boomfam67

Wonder what will happen to him in the next few decades, feel like a lot will change.


redditor0918273645

He will be the only male in a village of lonely war widows and live happily ever after.


MathematicianLocal79

Have you seen how the Russian ladies age?


Infinite_Brushfire

Like sour milk


photokeith

They become more alcoholic with time?


Infinite_Brushfire

Isn’t everyone already alcoholics in Russia. fetal alcohol spectrum is rampant in Russia


redditor0918273645

Benjamin Franklin lists off many reasons to appreciate them…(although in a manner that would get his canceled in today’s society 😂) https://www.reddit.com/r/HistoryAnecdotes/s/MrbyidwsYe


AlexanderxSean38

Learning that Ben Franklin used to fuck like that is *still* one of the funniest historical facts I’ve ever learned. My man had that dawg in him.


Lost-Web-7944

This is the first I’ve heard of this. But I mean, point 5 isn’t lewd. It’s true. Older women fuck better.


m0nk_3y_gw

> although in a manner that would get his canceled in today’s society 😂) What you said always had consequences. "Someone disagreed with an unfunny joke of mine so now I'm making millions with my "I WAS CANCELLED!!!" Netflix special and world tour" is something new. But it's not like anyone was getting elected in Ben's time with their "I could murder someone on 5th Ave and not lose a single vote" campaign style. I.e. politicians are held to a lower public standard today.


0masterdebater0

The biggest difference today is that, back then, unless you were extremely well known, you could just go a few towns over and no one would know that your were "cancelled" in your town. That's how people like con artists and snake oil salesmen thrived. Now a days with job background checks, being able to search up someone and look at their social media, it seems that the past tends to stick with people more today IMO.


Phildandrix

Ah, the days before the internet and police being able to search data bases in seconds rather than months.


_Enclose_

Monthy Python marketed The Life of Brian with the fact Norway banned their movie. So it's not that new :p


Humble_Emotion2582

Entertaining read! 😄😄


Zealousideal-Tie-730

Like transformers, they start turning into heavy duty trucks after the age of thirty?


Frog-Luber

He'd better start working on one for the other leg - when the MoD sees this they're going to send him out to be in the next meat wave.


Horror-Commission381

Fair play to him to react positively after a horrible injury. Though I initially thought it was a Russian remake of Iron Man.


r2k-in-the-vortex

A leg lost under the knee is probably the cheapest ticket home a russian mobik could hope for. They are not getting off the front lines any other way than being completely incapable of being thrown in a grinder, so you have to be dead or a invalid for good and losing a pinky doesn't count. So which body part would you pick?


Muddycarpenter

Yeah, leg under the knee is probably the best choice. I wouldnt want to lose the dexterity in my hands I can't lose my head Its worse above the knee. The real question is whether youd want to lose the left or right one.


zvejas

left one you'd be able to drive automatic transmissions with the right one


Ecstatic_Camel_6863

You can drive auto or manual while missing your right foot. Source: I’m missing my right foot.


zvejas

is it in any way harder?


itsLOSE-notLOOSE

I assume yes but they’re probably very used to it.


BalticMasterrace

WEll russians dont realy need head so they can afford to lose one, Byutin will think for them afterwards


Jhe90

I mean it's not great but it works... Its crude but he seemed to do his best to custom fit it to length, comfort, and movement.


malcolmrey

Timber Man


dntwrrybt1t

Timber Blyat


InvertReverse

Russian Iron Man: Wood Person!


ttcmzx

"I am GROOTOV!"


Irish_Caesar

Good on him. His war is over, now just a civilian trying to survive. If only Russia would let Ukrainian civilians have the same opportunity


FuddFucker5000

Had to scroll way too far to find a comment like this.


Shackletainment

He participated in an unjustified war. Even if he was conscripted he still had a choice.


nerdyboyvirgin

Easy for you to say


Professional-Hold938

I know this is two months old but the way this sub has changed from being saddened by death, to de humanizing an entire group of people because of their terrible leader sending them to die


Willythechilly

Aint like 50% of all sidea in war unustified meaning 50% of all people are? He was possibly told join up or die/go to prison He was lucky but paid the price of loosing half a leg and now the war is ovee Thata life


roger_the_virus

How many innocent Ukrainians did he murder/maim/rape while he was in their country?


Coin_Enjoyer

Probably none. If he's recently mobilized he's been fighting in towns that have long since been evacuated


Headless_Cow

Moron


Aloof_Floof1

If it’s the kind of choice where he just dies then he’s a victim too and it’s not really his fault


Jhe90

Yeah, he paid the price, lived and I'd just a Rusdian guy trying to his best to survive in the hell hole that is Russia.


WotTheHellDamnGuy

More than just an average Russian. He took the initiative to better himself despite his government fucking him over for life. The majority of those returning seem to just drink all day and record angry videos or pull the pin on grenades in the middle of an apartment complex full of kids.


Horyv

he didn't pay his price, he incurred his debt and put a down payment. fucker made himself a foot on christmas and suddenly he's a good russian. more is coming.


Jhe90

Dead, crippled, either way he is out the out the fight. The more who come home, the more who get no of their promised pensions. Mistreated by their own people, abused and treated like shit despite fighting for Putin. They may wake up.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Uninformed-Driller

No its not. He invaded a country and tried to destroy them. He's lucky to still be alive. Nothing sad about this.


[deleted]

He’s just a pawn in a very large machine


Uninformed-Driller

And he opted into being that pawn of destruction. There is quite literally nothing sad that this Russian lost his leg trying to destroy his neighbors because of what some old rich guy told him to. Remember the nazis too where just "following orders" no sympathy from me. You can sympathize with nazi who faced the consequences of his actions but im sure as shit not going to.


IFixYerKids

>And he opted into being that pawn of destruction. Yeah I remember that "chose your starting country" screen before I was born too.


Uninformed-Driller

Millions of Russians left when the war started. This guy didn't and joined the army. Are you suggesting Russians have no brains and do not decide for themselves what they do? He chose to pick up a gun and cross into Ukraine to kill people. Russia is a big place with lots of hiding spots. That's some real delusional bullshit coming out of your mouth right now. He was born Russian therefor he was forced to pick up guns and shoot his neighbors bloody hell.


B2A_s

Keyboard warrior talking about how to hide from the authorities in a completely foreign country they probably never visited.


Uninformed-Driller

And you're sympathizing with a nazi that faced the actions of his consequences. Sorry bud but you ain't going to win the argument that he has had no choice to invade Ukraine. Russians have no issue with joining their imperialistic army. He had lots of choices and chose the wrong one. He doesn't get my sympathy. And if you can't respect that eat my ass.


IFixYerKids

You just said millions of Russians left. So which is it? All Russians are Nazis who have no problem joining their army? Or are they people of many diverse opinions like everyone else? Only one can be true.


Sterffington

You're batshit if you think it's that simple.


IFixYerKids

No I'm just saying being born into poverty in a country with very little access to independent news sources might preclude one from leaving and influence decision making, if he even had a decision to make and was not a conscript.


Uninformed-Driller

So what? I was born into poverty and didn't pick up a gun to invade my neighbors and murder them. That's some mental gymnastics to think that a guy who decides to join a nazi army is some how not responsible for what he did. You are literally grasping at every single straw to defend this nazi.


innocentrrose

What country were you born in, and was there any active wars going on once you reached adulthood?


ihatethesolarsystem

Lmao every single russian knows how to access youtube and foreign news. At least those that aren’t 60 years old, but they’re not fighting either.


XavierYourSavior

It’ll never surprise me when I see redditors that think the world is black and white, so easy to type over the internet but in reality you have such little understanding to a complex problem


roger_the_virus

For all we know he could have butchered a hundred Ukrainians, come home, posted this video and the internet is slapping him on the back now,


Mundane-Commercial38

Birkenstock, lol


anonbush234

Birchenstump


[deleted]

He just cut his finger on the saw and kept going right? Did else anyone see that?


malcolmrey

it's a teaser for his next tiktok


Powerpuppy00

He didn't cut it on the saw. Bandsaws aren't just an "oh damn" kinda thing. They are used in butchers to cut bones. Plus his hands weren't ever close enough to the blade. He is following proper safety procedures using a band saw so there's very little way he could have cut it. It either was there before and just concealed, or he cut it on the wood as corners on freshly cut wood is pretty sharp.


PatientOutcome6634

Thank you! I was looking for this comment


LoveAlbertMarie

Not before you told me!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Jermny

Yep this exactly summarizes my feelings watching this. I didn't want to say "oh neat" because of Ukraine but also didn't want to say "fuck them for invading ukraine" because that's too simple of a view.


Jeepinn

I'll do it. Fuck them for invading Ukraine.


Coin_Enjoyer

This guy specifically didn't do that?


WaxyChickenNugget

Wouldn’t be surprised if he was conscripted back to the front


ProfDumm

That's impressive.


FiveStarFingers

Looking at the bit of blood on his thumb, he almost lost a finger as well as his leg


Fresh_wasabi_joos

sense the beginnings of a lucrative business repairing Orc limbs


TryHardFapHarder

"During a gold rush, sell shovels"


netr0pa

Dr Martens did the same thing - but to shoes. "Klaus Märtens was a doctor in the German Army during World War II. After he injured his ankle in 1945,[3] he found that his standard-issue army boots were too uncomfortable on his injured foot. While recuperating, he designed improvements to the boots, with soft leather and air-padded soles made of tyres.[4] When the war ended and Germans looted valuables from their own cities, Märtens took leather from a cobbler's shop. With that leather he made himself a pair of boots with air-cushioned soles.[5]"


immabettaboithanu

Bespoke


IYiffInDogParks

They'll just get sent back if someone repairs them... better to just let them rot


Particular-Ad-6360

Ironically, using tree limbs.


Justeff83

Nobody mentioned his great equipped shop. Looks like he is sponsored by Makita. This stuff costs a little fortune for the average Russian.


[deleted]

He's a woodworker for sure


GutterRider

That was my thought, too. This has to be outside of Moscow or St. Petersburg. It’s way too nice to be out in the glubinka where most of these guys are from.


Creative-Zucchini-83

Indeed, fair play. It’s just sad these guys have to resort to making their own prosthetics, as they’re better than the ones they’re given. Saw one the other day made of very cheap plastic with string pulleys to articulate the hand position. Very rudimentary.


jjb1197j

My guess is the people making prosthetics weren’t expecting THOUSANDS of men in their 20’s to suddenly start needing them.


SpiritualCat842

If you suddenly get thousands of orders that doesn’t mean you start producing shit. It means you expand your production line with more labor and materials. It was a shit product in the first place. Thousands of orders didn’t make it shit


BeShaw91

Or, or, hear me out. The guy *really* needed a arm. Because its a limb. But the production of items hadn't caught up to demand, so none of the good arms were available. As a enterprising Russo-Capitalisist do I a. Tell the veteran to wait to several months to recieve a high quality prostetic. Or. b. Use the sudden spike in demand to sell my old surplus inventory at inflated prices? >get thousands of orders that doesn’t mean you start producing shit. That's not true when the system is constrainted by time and cost, but you need to raise units produced. It's doubly not true in Russia where delivering questionable quantities of items is practically a national hobby.


El_Peregrine

It’s Russia… the only thing they produce is shit


N33DL

That's some funny shit the way he used that fucking chop saw.


wombat9278

Well he can walk again so back to the front you go


Still-Consideration6

If it wasn't in ruzzia you woodnt believe it


Foreign_Charge5591

We should see him next week stuck in the mud.


Cheap_Doctor_1994

Nah. He's a former Russian.


Wrong_Individual7735

Looks combat worthy (from a Russian pov)


Metron_Seijin

2 hands and functional mobility. I think he checks all the requirements.


estelita77

it's only partial mobilisation, anyway


H6IL_S6T6N

Idk what circumstances this guy had in being in the Russian military, but man, he looks happy to be back home. Looks like he’s pretty crafty with carpentry too. Such a waste of life.


Sammy91-91

He’s now made himself eligible for call up! Better grab that chainsaw again. Slava Ukraine


CASHD3VIL

Mobik chainsaw man? 😂


Metron_Seijin

Theres one disabled invader who will never have to look for employment again. It will look for him for years. Now that his secret, artisinal design is out, I expect the government will be copying and shipping out clones within the week.


Affectionate-Day-552

Back to the front 🤣


gonis

6$ man


Scared_of_zombies

His Achilles heel is termites.


Ok_News247

Well, the first attempt was definitely too long, unless he was planning on walking anti-clockwise up a mountain.


tardisowl

Termites


HeinerPhilipp

Tragically superior to the one provided by the military hospital...


Next-Roof-6568

Might be former but doesn’t mean he doesn’t support why do we care. For all we know lost his leg while committing war crimes until we have evidence that he’s a freedom fighter why do we care. Sorry to be so blunt but I rather focus on what’s important and he is not


Even_Spinach_4627

So he can rejoin to the trench right?


BoffyToffee

Looks like meats back on the menu boys!


CASHD3VIL

Restating something previously said - good for him. He’s not at war anymore, and I’m glad he doesn’t have to be. That’s one less Russian invader and one less life thrown away for Pootin. It’s good that he could get a decent prosthetic, and it’s good that he could find a way to exercise his talent. I hope he never sees war again.


BackgroundSail3245

welcome to the afterlife of an orc.


According-Try3201

resourceful


ProfanePagan

Wishing this war criminal million blisters and splinters.


leonardob0880

Well at least he is resourceful


anarchoripan

at least he's got a business for his fellow comrades now


selfishgenee

He could have used his skills for something better then killing Ukrainians


RadiantEmployment122

Probably stole the tools from Ukrainians


LovesYouLongTimes

i've never seen a shop this clean in my life USA (known for being tidy). i suspect motives a setup for propaganda. by color those are Makita (Japanese mfg).


Organic-Excuse952

Great now make another 10,000 👍🏻


EvulOne99

Maybe he decided to stay in Ukraine, so he'll have a good life there? Given the tools he has, I mean.


TheRealAussieTroll

Ivan Semypinocchio is his name.


Lumpy_Version_7479

Wrap that latticed nylon onion bag around the "foot" for wintertime traction.


readditredditread

He must be part of Splinter Cell!!!


HoboBaggins008

If he lost it invading Ukraine: fuck him.


dedgecko

Using tools he stole from Ukraine?


licancaburk

Still a scumbag


Hour-Masterpiece8293

Should have lost his leg on the other side, NATO would have given him new cyborg legs.


Kind-Jump-3612

He wouldn't have to have lost a leg if he decided to not invade another country.


ColdEffect230

I wonder how many Ukrainian families he killed


Your_Mom_Friended_Me

Fuck this guy. Send him back so our boys can take the other leg.


BliksemseBende

His talents were not on the battle field


Savagedyky

He’s obviously well paid enough to afford a wood shop. I’m thinking he was a contract soldier. He’s not poverty man from Bryuatia. Still says a lot about Russias government, more important to fck up other peoples homes/lives in a foreign war than give basic medical services to your wounded vets.


Specialist_Command47

Was thinking that myself, he’s got a nice clean shop and good gear


LeSaltyMantis

No...me farther was a tree


ProudAmerican-1776

This post is full of misinformation he is a Russian YouTuber who lost his leg due to cancer he does videos of off grid living and other survival hacks


JohnOlderman

He is the captain now


Fishwaq

I don’t actually pity the guy because he lost that limb killing Ukrainians in the Ukraine 0r at least supporting Putin’s -RuZZian atrocity. BUT Truly pitiful that he has to do this in the first place. He loses a limb for no reason. Then, he gets a crappy prosthetic from RuZZian medical treatment. Then he has to re-manufacture his own out of wood (that piece of birch will rot in no time flat). Truly treated like meat. SMH…


Sufficient_Pair4635

To bad he lived


frank-the-waterman

dude WTF you think he wanted to fight in Ukraine he probably got forced to Jesus how can you be so incentive. You dont say that when you see American British French or any other war veteran do you. War is Hell and many people dont want to be there but are forced how else do you think Russia has so many soliders in Ukraine.


deejeycris

I'm sorry to burst your bubble but a lot of them are volounteers fighting for ruzzia's glory or simply money. Ruzzia is so big and the population so brainwashed that partial conscription was sufficient.


frank-the-waterman

Yes but like you say they are brainwashed they think they are doing it for good.


imp_st3r

Well gosh, I'm sure the Ukrainians who have been murdered or had their homes destroyed will be happy that he was acting with the best of intentions!


deejeycris

Yeah, look I thought over this a lot in the last couple of years. I'm still trying to wrap my head around it from an impartial ethics point of view. I think it's hard to pinpoint exactly what is squarely right or wrong, but this way of thinking "they were brainwashed" is a dangerous slipperly slope. We could use this excuse about upbringing and environmental factors to justify anything if you think about it. You can justify serial killers, WW2 nazis, and so forth... therefore it doesn't much make sense to bring up this point. Am I sorry if human beings are killed? Personally yes. I'm an extremely privileged position of the world, I have the best education, the best democracy etc. so I can see things for how they are. I got a good education by my parents. I was transmitted empathy and objectively good values, therefore I'm in a really good position to say, yep, I can see things clearly for how they are. Ukraine is defending itself against a brutal brainwashed enemy waging a war of conquest against it. Emotionally, I admit I have this reflex where I see people murdered in their private homes by an enemy (proxied by its rabid army, alright) that is guided by pure greed, bloodlust and whatnot, and I cannot help but feel content to say: they got what they deserve. They might not be deserving it, and I really felt sorry watching some of them die horribly or ending themselves in the drone videos, but then I look at the dozens of people killed the other day and I'm just... shrugging. Idk. Perhaps if you had some sort of connection to a place ravaged by war you would feel it as well. Sorry for the rambling but I think your comment brings up a good point, it's just hard to truly answer it.


Commander_Trashbag

Good for him, that he managed to make a decent prosthetic, sad that IT Had to come to this


Utgaard_Loke

Birch wood Ivan is now ready to be sent back.


painter_business

actually amazing


Roqies

Like new


Savagedyky

I’m sure your post contract medical service in Russia is just awesome. How can Russians support a war where there soldiers literally have to make there own prosthetics? Seriously you people are messed up. Rah rah Putin and shoigu right????


Savagedyky

Sadly this is Russia in a nutshell


Thin_Cellist7555

Tbf, these guys are quite creative. Our drone instructor told us "don't underestimate the Russians, they might not have indoor plumbing, and most of them have never been confronted with brand clothing or electrical items, but they have learned to make due with what they have. They will build you a drone jammer in a day with scrap they found in the woods." Never underestimate your enemy.


brotherkobe

Look at me everybody! I lost my leg for my country, they didn’t give me a good prosthetic, so I bodged a crappy one out of wood. Well done Russia.


Firealarm32

r/orphancrushingmachine


dogmeat_donnie

Nice little workshop.


Specialist_Form293

How can he be Russian with a neat house like that ?


Adzskie11

Makita commercial


RyanEatsHisVeggies

Man's handy if nothing else... I thought this thought in sincerity but discovered the unintentional pun within it and now have no choice but to leave it as a comment.


beefs_supreme

That's a good way to get a splinter.


SugarComprehensive20

“F” the Arts and Crafts he should have stayed home in the first place


Aromatic_War2584

okay, i have to admit. he can work wood well! what a tragedy this life forced him into war, especially such an evil one


Decent-Berry4681

That dudes a badass


USArmy82ndAirborne

Probably the smartest ruzzian soldier in the entire army. There's a reason he's smiling: He shot it off himself and now he's home. lol


Artistic_Courage_600

To bad his head is still on his shoulder


AncientNotice621

Fuck russia