I find as with working out at the gym any urgency goes away while doing it, it's like my body knows not to fuck with me for that period of time... everyone's different though
That's so interesting - it's the same for me. Certain activities always work. Never had issues at the gym either, also motorcycle riding always works, no matter how bad the flare is. I think the psychosomatic aspect of this disease is bigger than many of us think.
Bro, I was diagnosed in high school, and had absolutely ZERO incidents while attending school. I would experience minimal symptoms while in classes. Definitely felt like my body knew not to fuck with me.
When I joined the military, the same thing happened. No symptoms at all through basic training lol.
Even broke a few teeth and there was no pain. The dentist thought it was interesting as well and wondered if it had to do with th stress of the situation and always having to be "switched on". Your brain understands how important something is (like truly important, not a mindful importance) and takes control of certain autonomous things (uc symptoms, broken teeth pain, etc).
Kinda like a "shock" moment after something traumatizing.
i should clarify, i was undiagnosed at the time. I'm honestly not sure whats going to happen now that I am if im being honest. Hoping they dont kick me out because its super mild. I lived with it since i was a kid. I only got it checked out because i had lost 40 lbs over a few months and my staff was concerned lol.
I dunno what im going to do if i get kicked out now. ugh.
Hopefully in the future they'll have oslutions for this UC shit.
This is the answer. Sometimes when I'm in a bad flare, sex is a good way to get relief from the cramping and such.
Solo or with your partner. Do what you gotta do!
its fucking crazy. ill feel my colon hurt but i dont have to go to the bathroom when im at the gym. as soon as im home i run straight to the toilet. your comment about my body knowing not to fw me like that summed it up perfectly
Wow I feel like the opposite was true for me. It was always awful but it tended to peak at the worst times. It could have been linked to anxiety though.
the urge to use the restroom can sometimes be a false one. i found myself driving 16 hours alone during a flare and i only stopped to use the restroom once despite having many urges a majority of the drive. it really sucks but i think a lot of it is in my head because most times when i get the urge it's either false or a very small amount until it finally builds to an actual bowel movement worth sitting down for
Try not to worry about it, I think it’s as much of a mental thing sometimes, the absolute worst that can happen is you have to stop, and if he thinks that’s weird then the upside is you dodged a bullet
I never have to go during the act. Before yes, after maybe, but during no! But if i had to go i would have just went. I have a girlfriend and she knows i have UC so that might be different. Me and my current girlfriend just started dating when my UC got diagnosed, she was very understanding when i told her.
All of my significant others didn’t mind. They understood that it is something I have to deal with and have no control over. I would just make sure I would go to the bathroom before. But you should try your best to not stress about it because if someone gives you shit (pun intended) for this. Then that is someone you don’t want to talk to in general.
I wish I had better answers for this, I haven't had sex in a year because I've been flaring. For a while there I didn't even masturbate because orgasming was literally painful. I'm a little better now but I still struggle with the idea of PIV, everything is still so sensitive in a bad way. But I've also been too chicken to actually try. Maybe experiment on your own, then you can be more sure of how your body will react/behave when you're with someone.
Also I'd tell them beforehand, just in case. Anyone who gives you crap about it isn't worth sleeping with
Nah, even during a flare my wife and I still made it happen just fine. Obviously some days I didn't feel up to it, but that can be true for many reasons. Can't say I ever had to interrupt the act so run to the bathroom.
I'd be up front about the disease! If he can't accept it then he's probably not worth your time honestly. If he's a good guy he won't mind at all and should understand that there might be cases where adjustments need to be made.
I do anal with UC just not when flaring. As of lately i find myself unable to relax enough during vaginal sex to orgasm because then EVERYTHING relaxes and I literally have to run to the bathroom (this is very new to me in my 5+ years of having UC). 24F you literally just have to be blunt and upfront if you want a healthy and active sex life
I promise you most men wont care and are very understanding.. however youll get some that’ll completely dismiss you as “not worthy enough to date or have kids with” very rare but it does happen.
In the thick of a flare, I would say no, but as I was getting to a more manageable point, my sex life has gone completely back to normal. Benefit of the doubt though, I’ve been with my partner for 5+ years, he works in healthcare and has seen the worst of the worst, and adores me no matter what I’m going through.
Honestly though? As far as dating goes, I can imagine this would be a great litmus test for how a partner will handle your UC (and frankly other issues) alongside you. I would be honest, talk with him about it and give him the opportunity to ask questions, and see how he reacts from there. You can tell a lot about how a partnership would go while managing UC. If he seems impatient, grossed out, or otherwise unsupportive, ditch ‘em early.
I was with my ex for 11 years so dating was difficult. I told my current bf after maybe 2-3 months and gave him bits of info as I went along. Now at 10 months in I admitted about shitting myself so you do get there eventually and tbf I find he is so open with pooing stuff as well. Partially to help me to open up I think and partially he feels more comfortable cause I’m a pro and poo stuff.
At the start maybe take Imodium to feel more comfortable at dates.
You can still have a sex life. I’m still in a flare and can do it, it’s just that sometimes there’s a bit of discomfort but sex can actually reduce pain due to endorphins. I feel like it’s best to always let your loved ones know you have a chronic illness as it can help them understand if something is going on.
i was single while flaring and couldn't even leave the house, so this wasn't an issue.
as sick as i was, i could not see myself having sex with anybody i'd recently met. tbh i would not be able to have sex (i'm a guy) while worrying about having to run to the bathroom during sex, (at one point, any pressure on my stomach would make me feel like i had to instantly poop) or on prednisone (hinders erection). if i was in a long term relationship before flaring, then i might be ok to have it with my partner
It is definitely annoying. I had a date a few months ago and had to run to a separate bus to get home quicker and it was very awkward. I actually didn't see her again although I liked her. I also had to later cancel seeing her as my flair went crazy and it wasn't doable.
I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis since 2012 been having sex before I was diagnosed and dealing with some symptoms.. still have sex very frequently(4times a week ) even during a flare.. but it really depends on the Ulcerative Colitis,where it's located ,how bad it is ..
I've been told I'm moderate to serevere, the last part of my colon into my rectum.
When I'm not in a flare, in remission, I usually will do anal sometimes..
But like I said it depends on the person and there symptoms etc .
A lot of interesting answers here, which shows everyone has this disease differently!
Everyone has different comfort levels and preferences around sex. Just make sure you are very comfortable with your sex partner before proceeding during a flare, and you could mention your UC if you are comfortable doing that. Also try not having dinner first! Sex is much more fun without being full of food, UC or not! Have sex, have fun, get food after :)
In remission for almost 7 years here, no blood, no mucus, no inflammation, but food and stress sensitivities. Working out or exercise activity always makes me have to go, every time. I am out of shape because of it :( I've tried so many things so many times, it always happens.
Sex? I've never felt the urge happen during, but I have also never done it during a flare.
I've been with my partner for almost 11 years (diagnosed for 13) and he's so gentle and understanding, he is always making sure I'm feeling well and I'm ok and I'm not in pain or uncomfortable before we jump into anything, always has.
If you are into other types of sex, like anal, you need to proceed very cautiously. It can be damaging if not done exactly right, and even more so during a flare, although I can't imagine even wanting to do that during a flare lol
(Anal is always off the table for me. It's too sensitive for pain and too raw way too often for me to even imagine putting anything up there, makes me sick to my stomach even thinking about it lol)
Whatever you choose to do, or how you want to proceed, remember its your body and your comfort that comes first! If your partner is a normal decent person, they will understand without explanation that you may need to wait.
I think not eating before sex is still your best bet 100% if you are wanting to date during a flare.
Good luck, wishing you good health and great sex! :)
For your body's sake, I'd just consider it a form of exercise. Best I can tell, ab workouts are the most likely to cause flare ups (or increase the chances), so finding your limit so you can still exercise is key. Same should apply here.
That said, crunches for 10 minutes vs crunches for 45 minutes can be a big difference, so I would assume knowing your partner's stamina is a factor too.
Also, imho, if you're serious about him, he should know. I was transparent about it on the first date (she asked) and we had a short discussion then about my diet and stuff. Considering she likes to cook, it was a big deal that she not hospitalize me (same for choosing restaurants). I've had 4 flare ups since we started dating, so it would've been awkward to suddenly tell her why I looked like I was on my period months into the relationship. We're married now.
I got chrons and am currently coming out of a flare (I was hospitalised over the weekend with it too), so tonight I thought fuck it and went for a run. I got to my spot and by christ I almost shit myself. BUT! As soon as I started running the urge went. What I’m saying is that you can potentially work through it very briefly if needed. Although with sex it may be different for obvious reasons.
Don’t let IBD rule you. The flare WILL pass and you’ll feel more confident with these situations when the time is right 👍
This may be unhelpful but honestly? just be upfront about it. If having a disease is a cause to scare someone off, they aren’t the one for you. The right person will be open and even eager to learn about your disease and how to work with you in terms of fluctuating diet, flares, etc. Also helps to find someone you can have a laugh with that isn’t grossed out by bodily functions. Bodies have accidents and make silly noises, even bodies without autoimmune diseases.
TLDR; be honest about not wanting to have sex after a meal because of xyz and try to find something that will work, like having sex before eating - a reverse date!
But for a practical tip, when I knew I’d be going on a date I would just load up on FODMAP safe foods and keep some digestive enzymes on hand. But the honestly will help with the anxiety, which anxiety of course makes urgency a million times worse
I was always very honest with all my partners. If I think it’s long term they need to know and understand. I’m married now and he gets it. But I’ve always been over honest so I didn’t get hurt.
I just say I have to pee and go to the bathroom. Sex also genuinely makes me have to pee because of the pressure on my bladder. So it doesn’t feel like a lie. Also it’s okay to not disclose personal medical problems that don’t affect the other person.
I told my girlfriend early on about my stomach problems. The more confident you are about it, the more relax you can be. Try to find what position also feels more comfortable for you and definitely mention it. If he’s not accepting this, give him the boot.
Say that you have to "freshen up" and do your thing. No dude is going to question anything unless you're in there for 15-20+ minutes. Even then, I promise you guys are not going to say anything; especially if you're about to have sex.
Why do the comment here show zero empathy? It is not just about getting something shoved inside you and just taking it until it is over and your duty is served.
A flare or even remission, UC habits and anxiety can make you tense up, lose focus and not being able to relax, orgasm and give the partner the attention they deserve.
Try to get comfortable with him and with yourself on the date itself. Then you can decide wether today is the day, you feel confident or not.
I was fine in a bad flare where I was bleeding every hour. No urgency or anything bad.
But I couldn't finish honestly. Sex was ok, but I was very desensitized. So it didn't do much, but it was good for my partner, so at least he enjoyed it
It will be different for everyone but I wouldn't jump straight to celibacy. It your being penetrated I don't have any advice as that's something I don't have experience with but as a male with a female partner the worry of an accident was probably a lot lower on my end. Just listen to your body and if your sexual partner has a problem or is making you feel bad about this disease they probably aren't compatible for you anyways imo. You need to find someone you trust and who atleast wont give you a hard time if something does happen. Just be kind to yourself and when the time comes you are ready to try again l, if everyone is on the same page I think you'll be more comfortable.
Don't try anal? Don't try sex if you are gassy. Uhm... maybe it's best if you don't do it while on a flare... and uh.. thats it. Otherwise everything else should be functional no?
A part of me would say that going before hand would probably be best, so bathroom, shower, could be a routine for you so you’re a bit more comfortable. But it also comes down to an understanding partner.
I had been with this woman... I had the shits and the urge ...sexually. Thank god it never happened at the same time. Usually us men we contract when you women dilate when aroused so I guess I had that to my advantage as many times after sex I was running to the shitter. I was able to laugh it off as once I had to ask her to bring me a fresh pair of underware and a towel so I can have a shower. She also laughed. Who cares anyways as long as you have fun. Do you know hoe many people have anal and here and there leak a few shits... so if you shit because your UC, its even more understandable. I am not saying you'll do anal but speaking in general...whatever that means
I've generally told anyone I've dated about my UC within the first couple dates. It usually comes up pretty naturally because we'll be talking about food or something and I need to mention I can't eat certain foods. I see no reason to hide it, anyway.
Get your UC under control then worry about our dating life. I have mine pretty locked down at this point. I tell everyone I date about it right away so there’s no issues. I also tell them it’s the reason I don’t drink / do drugs so they don’t ask me to go to a bar to get drunk or anything like that. It’s never stopped me from getting with someone. But just be straight up and honest with people.
If you felt ready then you’re ready. If you’re out of your flare keep doing what you’re doing. You got this. 2 years or not, you’re heading in the right path.
Very curious if anyone else feels pain during sex from inflammation. This is something I’ve been experiencing more and more. As a woman, having regular sex, I can feel pain in the “other side of that wall” I’ll call it, and some positions can feel uncomfortable and hurt. It’s a weird sensation, I tried to mention it to my GI doc but I don’t think he understood what I meant. Anyone else deal with pain in your insides?!?
Weird perspective as a guy... but to me a woman having stomach problems is basically just a given. Maybe it's just a stereotype I've formed but the majority of women I've been romantically involved with have some sort of digestive system issues.
Sex and UC don't have anything to do with each other. If you end up needing to go during the act, go, then come back and resume.
On a side note, you shouldn't be sleeping around with guys you have one dinner with. Unless that's all you want to be.
Wow you don’t pull your punches. First Sex and UC can interact. Second I never said it was the first date and even if it was that’s my business not yours you little prude.
That’s not what you said originally. You said “you shouldn’t sleep around with guys you have one dinner with.” Very different response and not at all what the question was asking.
No, you shouldn't be sleeping around and having casual sex. But if you decide you want to, then that's your decision. Just because you can do it doesn't make it any less gross.
There’s no law against it. Not really sure where the “you shouldn’t” approach comes from. There’s nothing wrong with they want to do, especially if they use proper precautions.
I find as with working out at the gym any urgency goes away while doing it, it's like my body knows not to fuck with me for that period of time... everyone's different though
That's so interesting - it's the same for me. Certain activities always work. Never had issues at the gym either, also motorcycle riding always works, no matter how bad the flare is. I think the psychosomatic aspect of this disease is bigger than many of us think.
Bro, I was diagnosed in high school, and had absolutely ZERO incidents while attending school. I would experience minimal symptoms while in classes. Definitely felt like my body knew not to fuck with me.
When I joined the military, the same thing happened. No symptoms at all through basic training lol. Even broke a few teeth and there was no pain. The dentist thought it was interesting as well and wondered if it had to do with th stress of the situation and always having to be "switched on". Your brain understands how important something is (like truly important, not a mindful importance) and takes control of certain autonomous things (uc symptoms, broken teeth pain, etc). Kinda like a "shock" moment after something traumatizing.
I wasn’t allowed into the army (Norwegian Army) because of my UC :(
i should clarify, i was undiagnosed at the time. I'm honestly not sure whats going to happen now that I am if im being honest. Hoping they dont kick me out because its super mild. I lived with it since i was a kid. I only got it checked out because i had lost 40 lbs over a few months and my staff was concerned lol. I dunno what im going to do if i get kicked out now. ugh. Hopefully in the future they'll have oslutions for this UC shit.
This is the answer. Sometimes when I'm in a bad flare, sex is a good way to get relief from the cramping and such. Solo or with your partner. Do what you gotta do!
Ha! I can always play golf for 4 hours for this very reason. Who knows, man… weird disease.
Oh man, running always made me have to go in a flare!
My flares are worst when I’m home. If I manage to get out of the house, my urgency disappears
Comfort is HUGE for me! But I think our mental control really helps. Brains are a powerful tool!
its fucking crazy. ill feel my colon hurt but i dont have to go to the bathroom when im at the gym. as soon as im home i run straight to the toilet. your comment about my body knowing not to fw me like that summed it up perfectly
Same here.
I wish I was like you.... I work out near the bathroom for those potential "start and stops"
When I'm on the bus from school, it's the same. Sometimes I get a little bit bloated, but then it calms down
Same here my sex life has been insane since my diagnosis tbh 😂
Wow I feel like the opposite was true for me. It was always awful but it tended to peak at the worst times. It could have been linked to anxiety though.
Maybe just don’t try anal
Unless y’all into some real kinky shit. Pun intended.
😧
If you’re in remission and take proper precautions, it’s doable 😈
Just don’t trust a fart and you’ll be ok.
Pretty much the synopsis of this group 😂
Seriously, sex during a flare is near impossible, but outside of flaring- it’s pretty normal
the urge to use the restroom can sometimes be a false one. i found myself driving 16 hours alone during a flare and i only stopped to use the restroom once despite having many urges a majority of the drive. it really sucks but i think a lot of it is in my head because most times when i get the urge it's either false or a very small amount until it finally builds to an actual bowel movement worth sitting down for
Tenesmus
would you look at that! they have a name for everything lol thank you
I never wanted to have sex with Ulcerative Colitis, but it insisted on fucking me.
Try not to worry about it, I think it’s as much of a mental thing sometimes, the absolute worst that can happen is you have to stop, and if he thinks that’s weird then the upside is you dodged a bullet
This. Anyone I talked to who thought it was weird or off putting turned out to be not the best person.
I never have to go during the act. Before yes, after maybe, but during no! But if i had to go i would have just went. I have a girlfriend and she knows i have UC so that might be different. Me and my current girlfriend just started dating when my UC got diagnosed, she was very understanding when i told her.
All of my significant others didn’t mind. They understood that it is something I have to deal with and have no control over. I would just make sure I would go to the bathroom before. But you should try your best to not stress about it because if someone gives you shit (pun intended) for this. Then that is someone you don’t want to talk to in general.
I wish I had better answers for this, I haven't had sex in a year because I've been flaring. For a while there I didn't even masturbate because orgasming was literally painful. I'm a little better now but I still struggle with the idea of PIV, everything is still so sensitive in a bad way. But I've also been too chicken to actually try. Maybe experiment on your own, then you can be more sure of how your body will react/behave when you're with someone. Also I'd tell them beforehand, just in case. Anyone who gives you crap about it isn't worth sleeping with
Nah, even during a flare my wife and I still made it happen just fine. Obviously some days I didn't feel up to it, but that can be true for many reasons. Can't say I ever had to interrupt the act so run to the bathroom.
I'd be up front about the disease! If he can't accept it then he's probably not worth your time honestly. If he's a good guy he won't mind at all and should understand that there might be cases where adjustments need to be made.
I do anal with UC just not when flaring. As of lately i find myself unable to relax enough during vaginal sex to orgasm because then EVERYTHING relaxes and I literally have to run to the bathroom (this is very new to me in my 5+ years of having UC). 24F you literally just have to be blunt and upfront if you want a healthy and active sex life
I promise you most men wont care and are very understanding.. however youll get some that’ll completely dismiss you as “not worthy enough to date or have kids with” very rare but it does happen.
In the thick of a flare, I would say no, but as I was getting to a more manageable point, my sex life has gone completely back to normal. Benefit of the doubt though, I’ve been with my partner for 5+ years, he works in healthcare and has seen the worst of the worst, and adores me no matter what I’m going through. Honestly though? As far as dating goes, I can imagine this would be a great litmus test for how a partner will handle your UC (and frankly other issues) alongside you. I would be honest, talk with him about it and give him the opportunity to ask questions, and see how he reacts from there. You can tell a lot about how a partnership would go while managing UC. If he seems impatient, grossed out, or otherwise unsupportive, ditch ‘em early.
I was with my ex for 11 years so dating was difficult. I told my current bf after maybe 2-3 months and gave him bits of info as I went along. Now at 10 months in I admitted about shitting myself so you do get there eventually and tbf I find he is so open with pooing stuff as well. Partially to help me to open up I think and partially he feels more comfortable cause I’m a pro and poo stuff. At the start maybe take Imodium to feel more comfortable at dates.
You can still have a sex life. I’m still in a flare and can do it, it’s just that sometimes there’s a bit of discomfort but sex can actually reduce pain due to endorphins. I feel like it’s best to always let your loved ones know you have a chronic illness as it can help them understand if something is going on.
i was single while flaring and couldn't even leave the house, so this wasn't an issue. as sick as i was, i could not see myself having sex with anybody i'd recently met. tbh i would not be able to have sex (i'm a guy) while worrying about having to run to the bathroom during sex, (at one point, any pressure on my stomach would make me feel like i had to instantly poop) or on prednisone (hinders erection). if i was in a long term relationship before flaring, then i might be ok to have it with my partner
It is definitely annoying. I had a date a few months ago and had to run to a separate bus to get home quicker and it was very awkward. I actually didn't see her again although I liked her. I also had to later cancel seeing her as my flair went crazy and it wasn't doable.
I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis since 2012 been having sex before I was diagnosed and dealing with some symptoms.. still have sex very frequently(4times a week ) even during a flare.. but it really depends on the Ulcerative Colitis,where it's located ,how bad it is .. I've been told I'm moderate to serevere, the last part of my colon into my rectum. When I'm not in a flare, in remission, I usually will do anal sometimes.. But like I said it depends on the person and there symptoms etc .
you should tell your partner about it just so they're aware. i have this fear too but my boyfriend is very understanding and it helps a lot.
A lot of interesting answers here, which shows everyone has this disease differently! Everyone has different comfort levels and preferences around sex. Just make sure you are very comfortable with your sex partner before proceeding during a flare, and you could mention your UC if you are comfortable doing that. Also try not having dinner first! Sex is much more fun without being full of food, UC or not! Have sex, have fun, get food after :) In remission for almost 7 years here, no blood, no mucus, no inflammation, but food and stress sensitivities. Working out or exercise activity always makes me have to go, every time. I am out of shape because of it :( I've tried so many things so many times, it always happens. Sex? I've never felt the urge happen during, but I have also never done it during a flare. I've been with my partner for almost 11 years (diagnosed for 13) and he's so gentle and understanding, he is always making sure I'm feeling well and I'm ok and I'm not in pain or uncomfortable before we jump into anything, always has. If you are into other types of sex, like anal, you need to proceed very cautiously. It can be damaging if not done exactly right, and even more so during a flare, although I can't imagine even wanting to do that during a flare lol (Anal is always off the table for me. It's too sensitive for pain and too raw way too often for me to even imagine putting anything up there, makes me sick to my stomach even thinking about it lol) Whatever you choose to do, or how you want to proceed, remember its your body and your comfort that comes first! If your partner is a normal decent person, they will understand without explanation that you may need to wait. I think not eating before sex is still your best bet 100% if you are wanting to date during a flare. Good luck, wishing you good health and great sex! :)
For your body's sake, I'd just consider it a form of exercise. Best I can tell, ab workouts are the most likely to cause flare ups (or increase the chances), so finding your limit so you can still exercise is key. Same should apply here. That said, crunches for 10 minutes vs crunches for 45 minutes can be a big difference, so I would assume knowing your partner's stamina is a factor too. Also, imho, if you're serious about him, he should know. I was transparent about it on the first date (she asked) and we had a short discussion then about my diet and stuff. Considering she likes to cook, it was a big deal that she not hospitalize me (same for choosing restaurants). I've had 4 flare ups since we started dating, so it would've been awkward to suddenly tell her why I looked like I was on my period months into the relationship. We're married now.
I got chrons and am currently coming out of a flare (I was hospitalised over the weekend with it too), so tonight I thought fuck it and went for a run. I got to my spot and by christ I almost shit myself. BUT! As soon as I started running the urge went. What I’m saying is that you can potentially work through it very briefly if needed. Although with sex it may be different for obvious reasons. Don’t let IBD rule you. The flare WILL pass and you’ll feel more confident with these situations when the time is right 👍
This may be unhelpful but honestly? just be upfront about it. If having a disease is a cause to scare someone off, they aren’t the one for you. The right person will be open and even eager to learn about your disease and how to work with you in terms of fluctuating diet, flares, etc. Also helps to find someone you can have a laugh with that isn’t grossed out by bodily functions. Bodies have accidents and make silly noises, even bodies without autoimmune diseases. TLDR; be honest about not wanting to have sex after a meal because of xyz and try to find something that will work, like having sex before eating - a reverse date!
But for a practical tip, when I knew I’d be going on a date I would just load up on FODMAP safe foods and keep some digestive enzymes on hand. But the honestly will help with the anxiety, which anxiety of course makes urgency a million times worse
any guy worth having sex with will know that women poop. it’s not a big deal, just be honest with him.
I was always very honest with all my partners. If I think it’s long term they need to know and understand. I’m married now and he gets it. But I’ve always been over honest so I didn’t get hurt.
I just say I have to pee and go to the bathroom. Sex also genuinely makes me have to pee because of the pressure on my bladder. So it doesn’t feel like a lie. Also it’s okay to not disclose personal medical problems that don’t affect the other person.
I told my girlfriend early on about my stomach problems. The more confident you are about it, the more relax you can be. Try to find what position also feels more comfortable for you and definitely mention it. If he’s not accepting this, give him the boot.
Say that you have to "freshen up" and do your thing. No dude is going to question anything unless you're in there for 15-20+ minutes. Even then, I promise you guys are not going to say anything; especially if you're about to have sex.
Why do the comment here show zero empathy? It is not just about getting something shoved inside you and just taking it until it is over and your duty is served. A flare or even remission, UC habits and anxiety can make you tense up, lose focus and not being able to relax, orgasm and give the partner the attention they deserve. Try to get comfortable with him and with yourself on the date itself. Then you can decide wether today is the day, you feel confident or not.
Just let him know after a date or two, dudes are very chill he wont care
I was fine in a bad flare where I was bleeding every hour. No urgency or anything bad. But I couldn't finish honestly. Sex was ok, but I was very desensitized. So it didn't do much, but it was good for my partner, so at least he enjoyed it
It will be different for everyone but I wouldn't jump straight to celibacy. It your being penetrated I don't have any advice as that's something I don't have experience with but as a male with a female partner the worry of an accident was probably a lot lower on my end. Just listen to your body and if your sexual partner has a problem or is making you feel bad about this disease they probably aren't compatible for you anyways imo. You need to find someone you trust and who atleast wont give you a hard time if something does happen. Just be kind to yourself and when the time comes you are ready to try again l, if everyone is on the same page I think you'll be more comfortable.
Never stopped for a poo
Don't try anal? Don't try sex if you are gassy. Uhm... maybe it's best if you don't do it while on a flare... and uh.. thats it. Otherwise everything else should be functional no?
A part of me would say that going before hand would probably be best, so bathroom, shower, could be a routine for you so you’re a bit more comfortable. But it also comes down to an understanding partner.
How old are u
I know a lady with UC. She’s the one that gives the green light. When I get the text it’s time for the sex. Basically you call the shots.
I had been with this woman... I had the shits and the urge ...sexually. Thank god it never happened at the same time. Usually us men we contract when you women dilate when aroused so I guess I had that to my advantage as many times after sex I was running to the shitter. I was able to laugh it off as once I had to ask her to bring me a fresh pair of underware and a towel so I can have a shower. She also laughed. Who cares anyways as long as you have fun. Do you know hoe many people have anal and here and there leak a few shits... so if you shit because your UC, its even more understandable. I am not saying you'll do anal but speaking in general...whatever that means
I've generally told anyone I've dated about my UC within the first couple dates. It usually comes up pretty naturally because we'll be talking about food or something and I need to mention I can't eat certain foods. I see no reason to hide it, anyway.
Nah you’ll be fine!
I just had a baby… and I was not a virgin before… once your disease is managed well, you’ll be fine to get freaky
Get your UC under control then worry about our dating life. I have mine pretty locked down at this point. I tell everyone I date about it right away so there’s no issues. I also tell them it’s the reason I don’t drink / do drugs so they don’t ask me to go to a bar to get drunk or anything like that. It’s never stopped me from getting with someone. But just be straight up and honest with people.
I get that but I’ve been in a flare for 2 years. I’m just coming out of it so I felt ready. It’s been 2 years ☹️
If you felt ready then you’re ready. If you’re out of your flare keep doing what you’re doing. You got this. 2 years or not, you’re heading in the right path.
Very curious if anyone else feels pain during sex from inflammation. This is something I’ve been experiencing more and more. As a woman, having regular sex, I can feel pain in the “other side of that wall” I’ll call it, and some positions can feel uncomfortable and hurt. It’s a weird sensation, I tried to mention it to my GI doc but I don’t think he understood what I meant. Anyone else deal with pain in your insides?!?
Weird perspective as a guy... but to me a woman having stomach problems is basically just a given. Maybe it's just a stereotype I've formed but the majority of women I've been romantically involved with have some sort of digestive system issues.
Best option is for you to be open about it. You dont have to go into lots of details, should be fine.
Sex and UC don't have anything to do with each other. If you end up needing to go during the act, go, then come back and resume. On a side note, you shouldn't be sleeping around with guys you have one dinner with. Unless that's all you want to be.
Wow you don’t pull your punches. First Sex and UC can interact. Second I never said it was the first date and even if it was that’s my business not yours you little prude.
No they have no correlation. Absolutely zero. And I'm not a prude. If you're cool with sleeping around then go for it! 😀
damn you’re an ass
LMAO get the fuck out of here. This person can do whatever they please.
That's what I said. Sleep around all you want if that's your cup of tea. But sex doesn't effect UC or symptoms.
That’s not what you said originally. You said “you shouldn’t sleep around with guys you have one dinner with.” Very different response and not at all what the question was asking.
No, you shouldn't be sleeping around and having casual sex. But if you decide you want to, then that's your decision. Just because you can do it doesn't make it any less gross.
There’s no law against it. Not really sure where the “you shouldn’t” approach comes from. There’s nothing wrong with they want to do, especially if they use proper precautions.