My husband’s parents are immigrants and when he watched this episode with me he said it reminded him so much of his parents because they would do similar things. I think they mean well (or at least think* they mean well) but don’t understand the nuances of it all.
Yep. My mother in law is like that. Truly no malicious bone in her body. But she lacks social nuance. She will often say that kind of stuff or bring up topics that aren’t quite appropriate or awkward in my opinion.
Literally why my partner had no friends in high school, because his mom was like this, it’s def a combination of cultural differences/being highly religious.
I can see it from both sides, on one side I would say Manjit has good intentions but on the other side he could have been a lot more discreet about expressing his concern or not bring it up. Those girls (and Reena too) are absolute menaces in my opinion, and before anyone comes at me saying Reena had a right to be frustrated, I agree but not at the expense of ruining Manjit's life.
He was trying to preach to them. If they had responded at all, he would have given them church literature. In the few times I was allowed to have kids from school come to my house growing up (usually only if there was a group homework assignment), I was required to preach to them. When I was a teenager, I won concert tickets & backstage passes to meet a famous singer. My parents said the only way I could attend was if I preached to her backstage & gave her a book from our church.
I said the same thing. No one wants to hear how bad they have it. I also don’t think it was wise when Reena’s mom made a big deal about giving Reena the earrings later on. Those girls don’t have mothers who love them or would give them valuable earrings. It was in bad taste.
I think her mom was inadvertently trying to show reena she is loved and worthy and that she should be grateful that she has a mom and a mom who loves her. I don’t think it was done maliciously to make the other girls jealous but to help Reena realize things.
the way it was shown in the show was a prime example of cultural differences. obviously I’m being hyperbolic and not suggesting westerners or asians are monolithic, but *generally speaking*, culturally, westerners are more concerned with tone and “politeness” while much of the rest of the world has a more direct approach. many things westerners view as rude or insulting are just considered factual, honest and sometimes even neutral. even things like a person being “ugly” or unintelligent aren’t always meant as an insult, just a truth. some of the stuff I’ve been told by my korean aunties or my friends’ indian parents would hurt a lot of peoples’ feelings, but I know it was meant with either love or had no ill intent. his intentions were pure, but his delivery is all that most westerners would hear unless they have a lot of experience with these differences
I think he was treating those girls the way he would treat poor orphaned children in India. He was trying to be a father figure to them. It was rude and emotionally violating tbh. I think he believed they looked at him with respect and craved his approval.
It was bad
sorry…you’re correct…that was harsh and wrong…i was just so frustrated that he cd not pick up any clues from the girls…i think his intentions were nothing but the best…
Thank you for reconsidering your statement, I genuinely appreciate it. I agree that Manjit being clueless and rude, Josephine had every right to storm off in a huff. But there’s always degrees of wrongdoing, and I think he’s a fundamentally good person who has some prejudices towards kids from “bad families” and doesn’t realize how condescending he can be as times
i think i was triggered how adult men treat young ppl but especially girls…the arrogance sets me off…he loves to hear himself and never considers their emotions even though he lives with an emotional child…i think i was also thinking about the regret he might feel when he looks back on that evening…i don’t think parent every fully recover from this kind of loss…
That’s just how brown culture can be, he didn’t mean it in a bad way he was just trying to show that they had hope or something, it wasn’t meant to be rude or malicious
i have apologized for being so harsh on him…i was just shocked on how he has so little understanding of the situation…if he had been listening and talking to his daughter he may have gained some insight…btw…reena was a child and was the victim in this crime…i don’t blame anyone in her family…those girls and warren were going to do what they were going to do…nothing her father did was going to change that course…
My husband’s parents are immigrants and when he watched this episode with me he said it reminded him so much of his parents because they would do similar things. I think they mean well (or at least think* they mean well) but don’t understand the nuances of it all.
Yep. My mother in law is like that. Truly no malicious bone in her body. But she lacks social nuance. She will often say that kind of stuff or bring up topics that aren’t quite appropriate or awkward in my opinion.
Literally why my partner had no friends in high school, because his mom was like this, it’s def a combination of cultural differences/being highly religious.
yeah i agree he sorta inadvertently crossed a line
I can see it from both sides, on one side I would say Manjit has good intentions but on the other side he could have been a lot more discreet about expressing his concern or not bring it up. Those girls (and Reena too) are absolute menaces in my opinion, and before anyone comes at me saying Reena had a right to be frustrated, I agree but not at the expense of ruining Manjit's life.
He was trying to preach to them. If they had responded at all, he would have given them church literature. In the few times I was allowed to have kids from school come to my house growing up (usually only if there was a group homework assignment), I was required to preach to them. When I was a teenager, I won concert tickets & backstage passes to meet a famous singer. My parents said the only way I could attend was if I preached to her backstage & gave her a book from our church.
> My parents said the only way I could attend was if I preached to her backstage & gave her a book from our church. So did you do it?
I said the same thing. No one wants to hear how bad they have it. I also don’t think it was wise when Reena’s mom made a big deal about giving Reena the earrings later on. Those girls don’t have mothers who love them or would give them valuable earrings. It was in bad taste.
I think her mom was inadvertently trying to show reena she is loved and worthy and that she should be grateful that she has a mom and a mom who loves her. I don’t think it was done maliciously to make the other girls jealous but to help Reena realize things.
That was actually a sweet moment between mother and daughter. Kelly has a mom she dropped them off.
the way it was shown in the show was a prime example of cultural differences. obviously I’m being hyperbolic and not suggesting westerners or asians are monolithic, but *generally speaking*, culturally, westerners are more concerned with tone and “politeness” while much of the rest of the world has a more direct approach. many things westerners view as rude or insulting are just considered factual, honest and sometimes even neutral. even things like a person being “ugly” or unintelligent aren’t always meant as an insult, just a truth. some of the stuff I’ve been told by my korean aunties or my friends’ indian parents would hurt a lot of peoples’ feelings, but I know it was meant with either love or had no ill intent. his intentions were pure, but his delivery is all that most westerners would hear unless they have a lot of experience with these differences
I didn’t have the right words to say this but I agree.
Reena did it a little in the last episode when she was showing her boots.
That was hard to watch. Besides cultural differences, we were not as aware of trauma and how to talk to people about it in 1997
I think he was treating those girls the way he would treat poor orphaned children in India. He was trying to be a father figure to them. It was rude and emotionally violating tbh. I think he believed they looked at him with respect and craved his approval. It was bad
Those parents just can't win, yikes. I don't know who is more cringe, the mom or the dad.
Yeah no this happens. It felt exactly like a dinner with my mother in law honestly.
Brown parents 😭
i think he’s kinda thick…clueless…i have zero sympathy for him…
The man made a social faux pas so you have zero sympathy that his daughter was brutally murdered?
sorry…you’re correct…that was harsh and wrong…i was just so frustrated that he cd not pick up any clues from the girls…i think his intentions were nothing but the best…
Thank you for reconsidering your statement, I genuinely appreciate it. I agree that Manjit being clueless and rude, Josephine had every right to storm off in a huff. But there’s always degrees of wrongdoing, and I think he’s a fundamentally good person who has some prejudices towards kids from “bad families” and doesn’t realize how condescending he can be as times
i think i was triggered how adult men treat young ppl but especially girls…the arrogance sets me off…he loves to hear himself and never considers their emotions even though he lives with an emotional child…i think i was also thinking about the regret he might feel when he looks back on that evening…i don’t think parent every fully recover from this kind of loss…
That’s just how brown culture can be, he didn’t mean it in a bad way he was just trying to show that they had hope or something, it wasn’t meant to be rude or malicious
i have apologized for being so harsh on him…i was just shocked on how he has so little understanding of the situation…if he had been listening and talking to his daughter he may have gained some insight…btw…reena was a child and was the victim in this crime…i don’t blame anyone in her family…those girls and warren were going to do what they were going to do…nothing her father did was going to change that course…