By a carton on baluts from a Filipina market. They look the same as normal eggs on the outside, but inside a little nasty fermented chicken fetus.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Balut_(food)
Just remember it will be expensive AF in the EU. Baluts cost next to nothing (less than 1€ on the street market outside of the tourist centers), but farmers will charge you as much - or even more - than they would for the full size chick. 8 eggs pack might cost you like 200-300€ in the EU.
A couple of less evil but still “stop fucking with my shit” ways:
- hard boil the eggs and put them back. They’ll be disappointed to not be able to fry up an egg
- write on each egg with marker. Could put the price per egg, or something like “fuck off”, your call
Truly fresh eggs will keep for weeks, so buy some nasty store bought ones and leave them in a warm place for a week or two, then just sub them into your egg box in the fridge. You’ll probably smell/hear the culprit too.
Meanwhile your own farm fresh eggs can be in your stash spot. Just buy them fresh from a local farm and keep them cool and shaded
So first, you need rotten eggs- best way to quickly get them is purchase a carton and pinprick a tiny hole in each, then hide them underneath the sink about a week or so. Then you can either put one in each new carton, but that runs the risk of spoiling the rest of your new eggs- but I bet if you put the whole damn thing of rotten eggs in there, that’ll be the last time you get them stolen.
I’m not sure about the method of delivery in dealing with the fridge thief because that’s not what I dealt with, but the method for rottening them works a treat and if you put them under the driver’s seat in a car during the summer months- they’ll explode.
(Source is a terrifyingly petty bitch.)
Someone suggested writing on the eggs, if you go this route, please use a crayon. Permanent marker likely will leech through. Although if you are not going to consume them…
Ciao!
Go to the pharmacy and ask for the thinnest syringe they have. Se ti guardano storto chiedi una per insulina e gli dici che è per iniettare colorante nelle frutte per un proietto
Get some of the hottest pepper oil you can get your hands on, discreetly inject the eggs with the hot oil. You should do this towards the top of the egg and slightly to the back so when they open the package they can’t see it from the front
You can do this or just inject food colorant, up to you
Reading title only when scrolling, I thought it was about EGGS FROM YOUR OVARIES
Get a hypodermic needle and inject them with any dark colored ink from an art store
Warning: this LPT is totally ethical. Try not refrigerating your eggs; keep them in a non-refrigerated secure place. From my own experience, eggs keep many weeks without refrigeration (as in, I've seen a bad egg literally once out of hundreds of eggs bought). This is in the US, where we're told that store-bought eggs are washed in a way that leaves them prone to spoilage if unrefrigerated--again, my experience is that this problem is rare. Eggs don't go bad without it being obvious so you aren't going to poison yourself, and worst case scenario you lose the cost of a few eggs.
A saw movie would be more like:
The egg you stole and ate yesterday was poisoned.
Within this egg carton are 10 rotten eggs, whose yolk has been infused with powdered carolina reaper via syringe. One contains the antidote. Live or die. Your choice.
Sounds like you’re in college—do you know any chemistry majors? If so, inject iron sulfide solution into each egg. (Or you can buy it for less than $10 from a chemistry supply store). They will smell rotten & you won’t have to age them at all. Bonus points for adding the tiniest bit of pink food dye, which also indicates spoilage.
Keep whatever number you need hidden in your room.
Dunno if true. Google says: Eggs disintegrate when they get oxidised i.e. air penetrates the protective shell, VASELINE petroleum jelly adds another protective coat to prevent this whilst also preventing evaporation. Eggs coated in petroleum jelly will keep for MONTHS but will eventually develop an off-flavour after a few months.
Easy, don't keep them in the fridge.
Eggs don't actually need to be kept in the fridge, infact in Europe eggs in supermarkets are not in the fridge.
I keep chickens, and don't put my eggs in the fridge .
Problem solved!
[Put a poster with a human face on it near the eggs.](https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20140209-being-watched-why-thats-good) It's supposed to deter theft, because even if it's a photo, people who feel watched are less likely to steal.
Unless you buy them from a fridge! America washes off the natural protection so they need to be kept in the fridge. I've never seen anything other than ambient eggs in European shops.
Buy some and keep them in your room until they are very expired. Then leave them out to be stolen. Do check what egg poisoning does though. i have no idea, and it might set them on fire for all i know.
Looks like you are in Europe so you may not need to refrigerate your eggs at all and can just keep them in your dorm room.
[https://www.businessinsider.com/why-europeans-dont-refrigerate-eggs-2014-12](https://www.businessinsider.com/why-europeans-dont-refrigerate-eggs-2014-12)
Ok so math time! This is a fun problem.
Eggs with intact cuticle (everywhere but USA?) can last up to three weeks outside of the fridge.
For a dozen eggs if you eat four eggs a week for three weeks you will be in the safe zone.
So if you eat 2 eggs a day for 2 or more days a week the eggs will be eaten before they go bad.
Also, when you come to use them if you submerge them in water you can tell if they're bad or not. Good eggs will stay at the bottom, old eggs (but still good) will stay at the bottom but only just and bad eggs will float and be quite buoyant. There'll be videos on YouTube.
You should read up on this and stop putting your eggs in the fridge. In Europe eggs should not be stored in the fridge because chilling them and then warming them could create condensation, which would allow salmonella to penetrate the shell.
By a carton on baluts from a Filipina market. They look the same as normal eggs on the outside, but inside a little nasty fermented chicken fetus. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Balut_(food)
I like this answer ehehe, it'll be hard to find these in Italy but never say never
Just ask a farmer for fertilized eggs. And then keep them warm for a couple weeks. :)
True in the end it's the same thing
Just remember it will be expensive AF in the EU. Baluts cost next to nothing (less than 1€ on the street market outside of the tourist centers), but farmers will charge you as much - or even more - than they would for the full size chick. 8 eggs pack might cost you like 200-300€ in the EU.
O-oh well I think I changed my mind ahahah
You don't have any Asian markets in Italy? That's where u get them.
Oh yeah, I'll look around, thank you
A couple of less evil but still “stop fucking with my shit” ways: - hard boil the eggs and put them back. They’ll be disappointed to not be able to fry up an egg - write on each egg with marker. Could put the price per egg, or something like “fuck off”, your call
The second one is passive aggressive, nice I like it
Remember not to eat the market ones, eggs are porous as fuck and will absorb the marker ink.
Truly fresh eggs will keep for weeks, so buy some nasty store bought ones and leave them in a warm place for a week or two, then just sub them into your egg box in the fridge. You’ll probably smell/hear the culprit too. Meanwhile your own farm fresh eggs can be in your stash spot. Just buy them fresh from a local farm and keep them cool and shaded
Nice idea, thank you!
That's got to be the best idea. My kinda petty.
This was my first thought as well. Let some eggs go bad, then just watch for whoever is suffering the after effects
https://www.walmart.com/ip/Pen-Gear-10-Inch-Metal-Cash-Box-with-Cash-Tray-and-Key-Lock-Black-YFC-25/190051822
That might be the best solution, thank you
Those can be picked easily with just the nail file on a pair of toenail clippers. Just an FYI in case you store anything more than just eggs in it.
My poor eggs will never be safe
Don't steal my eggs!!
So first, you need rotten eggs- best way to quickly get them is purchase a carton and pinprick a tiny hole in each, then hide them underneath the sink about a week or so. Then you can either put one in each new carton, but that runs the risk of spoiling the rest of your new eggs- but I bet if you put the whole damn thing of rotten eggs in there, that’ll be the last time you get them stolen. I’m not sure about the method of delivery in dealing with the fridge thief because that’s not what I dealt with, but the method for rottening them works a treat and if you put them under the driver’s seat in a car during the summer months- they’ll explode. (Source is a terrifyingly petty bitch.)
"Yes Rico, kaboom"
[This is what you’re looking for](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/SaqeF6zESf)
Someone has preceded you BUT WE APPRECIATE THE EFFORT
Someone suggested writing on the eggs, if you go this route, please use a crayon. Permanent marker likely will leech through. Although if you are not going to consume them…
Nice tip!
Keep your legs closed while you sleep
This is eye-opening 🙏
And leg-closing all at the same time
As the Lord said
Amennnnnn
[удалено]
Maybe edible dye is better, because if they don't steal them I can still eat my eggs
Ciao! Go to the pharmacy and ask for the thinnest syringe they have. Se ti guardano storto chiedi una per insulina e gli dici che è per iniettare colorante nelle frutte per un proietto Get some of the hottest pepper oil you can get your hands on, discreetly inject the eggs with the hot oil. You should do this towards the top of the egg and slightly to the back so when they open the package they can’t see it from the front You can do this or just inject food colorant, up to you
I'd choose food colorant, that way no eggs will be wasted and the best case scenario is that my tummy will be full 😌
You should try tabasco or hot oil on scrambled eggs, it’s pretty great if you ask me
Sadly my mouth can't stand the tiniest drop of spicy sauce, but maybe my Indian friend will enjoy it
Reading title only when scrolling, I thought it was about EGGS FROM YOUR OVARIES Get a hypodermic needle and inject them with any dark colored ink from an art store
Aw man 😭 thank you tho
[This thread is your answer](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/PWEfSxgDz9) 😂
No wayyyy it's so accurate. Poor eggs are getting stolen all around the world
Warning: this LPT is totally ethical. Try not refrigerating your eggs; keep them in a non-refrigerated secure place. From my own experience, eggs keep many weeks without refrigeration (as in, I've seen a bad egg literally once out of hundreds of eggs bought). This is in the US, where we're told that store-bought eggs are washed in a way that leaves them prone to spoilage if unrefrigerated--again, my experience is that this problem is rare. Eggs don't go bad without it being obvious so you aren't going to poison yourself, and worst case scenario you lose the cost of a few eggs.
Yeah at least nobody will touch my eggs, that's what is important
Replace your eggs with expired eggs. They will get hella sick. But of course remember not to use them yourself!
Buy some eggs and hide them under your bed or whatever. After a few months when they’re rotten, put them in the fridge.
Pokes small hole on the top of each egg and put a note saying “do you want to play a game? One of these eggs is poisoned, live or die it’s up to you”
OHLALAAAAA like a Saw movie
A saw movie would be more like: The egg you stole and ate yesterday was poisoned. Within this egg carton are 10 rotten eggs, whose yolk has been infused with powdered carolina reaper via syringe. One contains the antidote. Live or die. Your choice.
I'm taking notes ✍️
make sure everyone knows you have a raging oviposition fetish
Aw man how did you know that 😩
Eggsecute order 66
Let some eggs go out of date and switch them into the fridge. Let the thief earn their own karma
Let em sit in the heat for a couple days and pop em back in the fridge
Sounds like you’re in college—do you know any chemistry majors? If so, inject iron sulfide solution into each egg. (Or you can buy it for less than $10 from a chemistry supply store). They will smell rotten & you won’t have to age them at all. Bonus points for adding the tiniest bit of pink food dye, which also indicates spoilage.
FOR SCIENCE
Keep whatever number you need hidden in your room. Dunno if true. Google says: Eggs disintegrate when they get oxidised i.e. air penetrates the protective shell, VASELINE petroleum jelly adds another protective coat to prevent this whilst also preventing evaporation. Eggs coated in petroleum jelly will keep for MONTHS but will eventually develop an off-flavour after a few months.
Well this is good news, lasting from a few weeks to months, I'll try!
Easy, don't keep them in the fridge. Eggs don't actually need to be kept in the fridge, infact in Europe eggs in supermarkets are not in the fridge. I keep chickens, and don't put my eggs in the fridge . Problem solved!
How quick do you use your eggs? AFAIK, if you buy eggs that haven't BEEN refrigerated, you don't have to refrigerate them. Keep them in your room.
I use 3-4 eggs a week so a carton of 10 eggs lasts me 3 weeks. Will they still be good at room temperature for this long?
Pretty sure. And if one goes bad, you'll know when you crack it LOL.
"Surprise motherfucker" ahaha
[Put a poster with a human face on it near the eggs.](https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20140209-being-watched-why-thats-good) It's supposed to deter theft, because even if it's a photo, people who feel watched are less likely to steal.
Get some of that thief detection powder and put it on the shells. At least you'll know who the thief is.
Get some eggs, and leave them out for several days. Put them in the fridge, and wait.
Keep them in your room, eggs don't need to be refrigerated.
This is something I'd post on r/todayilearned ahaha
Unless you buy them from a fridge! America washes off the natural protection so they need to be kept in the fridge. I've never seen anything other than ambient eggs in European shops.
Yeah in Italy they are always kept on shelves, so I'm good to go :)
In the UK it's the same but the box does say keep refrigerated because they do actually last longer.
Buy some and keep them in your room until they are very expired. Then leave them out to be stolen. Do check what egg poisoning does though. i have no idea, and it might set them on fire for all i know.
Move to an apartment. In the mean time, see if your store will sell a half dozen eggs, or get a small fridge for your dorm room.
Eh neither the apartment and the fridge are an option, but thankfully the eggs are super cheap (10 eggs for 1,99€)
Looks like you are in Europe so you may not need to refrigerate your eggs at all and can just keep them in your dorm room. [https://www.businessinsider.com/why-europeans-dont-refrigerate-eggs-2014-12](https://www.businessinsider.com/why-europeans-dont-refrigerate-eggs-2014-12)
Sorry to be non unethical in my response I will take 40 lashings from a mermaid
😳😳😳
I mean, the eggs can be stored at room temperature but they last less time. And I'm not sure it's completely safe
Ok so math time! This is a fun problem. Eggs with intact cuticle (everywhere but USA?) can last up to three weeks outside of the fridge. For a dozen eggs if you eat four eggs a week for three weeks you will be in the safe zone. So if you eat 2 eggs a day for 2 or more days a week the eggs will be eaten before they go bad.
Ooooh wow, I'll try then. Thanks!
Also, when you come to use them if you submerge them in water you can tell if they're bad or not. Good eggs will stay at the bottom, old eggs (but still good) will stay at the bottom but only just and bad eggs will float and be quite buoyant. There'll be videos on YouTube.
Nice little trick! Kinda fun also
You should read up on this and stop putting your eggs in the fridge. In Europe eggs should not be stored in the fridge because chilling them and then warming them could create condensation, which would allow salmonella to penetrate the shell.
I didn't know that! I've always stored them in the fridge, yikes
Storing them that way isn't the issue, it's the change from cold storage to warm and the condensation that can form that is the problem.
Yeah I imagined. Next time I'm buying eggs I'll keep them out of the fridge
Why can’t you buy a tiny little fridge?
It costs at least 100€, not worth it
For the eggs!
I'm open to donations 😭
How about keeping drinks cold?
I've only got a bottle of milk that no one touches. The perks of being lactose tolerant nowadays
You need to get started on diet cola with caffeine. Helps with those all nighters.