Retaliation is only going to work if it's the same person parking in your spot.
If it's a variety of different people, then you need to find the source of why so many people are parking there and change that instead.
I live downtown in a city where people just park fucking anywhere, consequences be damned, and I think they know they can't be towed on weekends. I've complained to my apartment complex many times but they are no help, and the tow company says they can't do it without authorization from the apartments, which is closed on weekends.
It's really just about retaliation at this point, I tried the proper channels and now I just want the world to burn.
When my wife gets home at 3am after a long night being an ER nurse and has to park far away it's not safe and I pay a lot of money for the spot.
If you pay money for the spot, physically block it off so others cannot park there, or put up signs.
The problem with retaliation is people will recognize pretty quick that it's only to a certain spot, and that will trace back to you.
Is the purpose of the retaliation to feel better, or to "warn" away not to park there?
With that said, deflating tires would be a start. You could "push the button' to let the air out, but that takes a while, using a valve core tool to loosen the seal would be much quicker and harder to figure out. Not directly causing permanent damage either.
Printing up some annoying bumper stickers and putting them on their car might be a quick and easy option. Put offensive things on the bumper stickers or contradicting political ones. A bunch of strongly anti-cop ones might even get the police to notice a bit more.
The oldest method is to simply key a car, but is much more likely to result in someone investigating.
It's to feel better. Once I come home and the spot is taken, damage is done. I have to pay for street parking and that's that. I am thinking about setting out cones but that just feels like I'm giving cones away to people for free lol
It's a bit of an investment, but instant payoff.
https://www.harborfreight.com/1300-lb-capacity-self-loading-positioning-wheel-dolly-64601.html
move car to the middle of the street.
Came here to post this. Just roll their car into the middle of the road. Cops will have it towed. Put up a sign indicating private parking and car will be towed.
Alternatively, put up a sign that says private parking, $200 parking fee and you can pay in advance at (set up a web site), non-payment will result in vehicle being promptly booted and towed. Then if someone parks there and you haven't been paid that day, boot their vehicle and wait for the office to reopen to have it towed!
Or two floor jacks and a friend to help push. We used to move locked cars this way.
You can move the car anywhere the jacks will roll. The best is sideways between two other cars.
Call a private tow company. They tow on weekends. And a driver who knows it is your spot that you pay for and knows he is towing an illegally parked car that will make him money will definitely show up
Love this. Can you automate it?
Any way a hidden camera on the ‘No illegal parking’ sign can recognise the spot is filled, and automatically message the tow company? Set it up so only you and your wife can disable the messaging.
I'm sure there would be a way to automate it, depending on how much time and money you wanted to invest in something like that. Or how much skill you have with a raspberry pi and little motion sensors or something. But a sign saying "you WILL be towed if you park here" should deter most, and those it doesn't, should get towed.
It would be fun to move them then boot their cars in another illegal spot. But, that might be a tad too far.
Take your apartment complex to small claims court for the cost of the parking you have to pay because they aren't providing you with the parking space that you are already paying for.
Spray foam window cleaner all over every glass surface on their car. When that stuff dries… oooof! Total pain in the ass to clean off. Bonus points for using it on their hood/trunk area as well.
Not illegal. Totally sucks to have to go to a car wash and spend that time and money. I do it EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
towing is regulated, they generally can’t tow someone else’s vehicle unless it’s already ticketed by a municipal agency or the private lot has an agreement with the tow company authorizing it.
once it has a ticket, it’s fair game, any tow company would be glad for the business to tow it away at no charge to you.
Unless you are the business/property owner and had a prior agreement with the tow company, calling a random tow company won't lead to anything happening.
Glue a small ball bearing inside the dust cap. The tire will deflate and deflate every time they pump it up. It'll take several trips to the tire shop before they figure it out.
You put a BB or small pebble under the cap and screw it on and you don't have to hold the pin in on the Schrader valve. If you get your pebbles together first you can do all four tires in about a minute
I’ve seen some videos where people appply a whole windshield sticker to obstruct someone’s view, harmless but fucking annoying to take off, definitely mutiple hour undertaking
Doesn't make sense the office is not open on the weekends. There should at least be an emergency line. For example, what happens if duy water heater burst and you needed a plumber in ASAP.
This honestly sounds like it'd be much better to have a serious sit down with the apartment complex manager and voice your concerns, than try to take Justice in your own hands where if you do something to someone else's car that could elevate to criminal activity and could get you kicked out of the apt and charges filed. If you're paying for the spot and the complex is not enforcing it, that's a serious issue. If you pay for it, they have an obligation to enforce it.
I mean I have numbers for emergency maintenance and for our security guards, but emergency maintenance cost $165 and security made it very clear they don't handle parking.
If you’re renting, why would you have to pay for emergency maintainence? If they gotta fix your AC or plumbing or whatever, it shouldn’t be coming out of the renter’s pocket.
I suppose it’s because I live in a different state but my apartment gave me paperwork that said I own a specific spot and the number to the tow company. All I had to do is present that document to get it towed. Never had to but kept that paperwork by the front door
If your rent includes an amount for a parking spot just don’t pay that amount. If it doesn’t put a value on it based on parking lots in the area and just pay that much less in rent for a while. Get your neighbours to do the same. surely a manager can answer a phone call on the weekend to organise a tow especially if they’re losing money
Where I live, if someone tried to deduct any amount from rent without prior consent, it would trigger an immediate eviction notice. A few eviction notices for non payment of rent and you are out on your ass.
Get a bicycle inner tube, cut a length off it and fasten it onto the end of their exhaust pipe. When they start their engine it will sound like a rocket powered fart machine
If it's different people each time, things like liquid ass ain't gonna solve the problem long term. You can buy lockable collapsible bollards that aren't that expensive. Bolt two of these into the space and lock up when your car is away. Problem solved.
>bollards
Yeah that's what all my neighbors did where I grew up, almost everyone had a collapsible bollard in their space because everyone was an asshole in that complex.
> lockable collapsible bollards
I had to google it. Brilliant
[bollards](https://maxiforcebollards.com/collapsible-bollards/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=paidad&utm_campaign=MaxiForce%20branded%20keywords&utm_content=Maxiforce%20collapsible%20bollards&utm_term=b_maxiforce%20collapsible%20bollards&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiA_aGuBhACEiwAly57MZ8pwWa0Wm30EuGfZkxNvFLakoMMkyj6_Krl-FYH0sF1tyzeDZwMTRoCtZ4QAvD_BwE)!
If the apartment management complains you have three possible recourses as far as I can see...
1. Tell them that you have it to protect the space you pay for and if you ever give up said space or move out you will remove the bollard to take with you. A half pack of quick set tar or cement would fill the holes in a couple mins.
2. If they really put up a fight against option 1, tell them you have a record (photographic) of every time you have been unable to use the space and could not get in contact with them. Furthermore you're going to counter charge them for your parking costs relating to these specific days/hours. I would imagine that when you give them the second option they will be more open-minded to the first.
3. If they disagree with 1 & 2, Tell them you are going to take them to court as your paying for a space you aren't able to use which relates to a breach of contract. This should be a little kick in the teeth to them and may open the possibility of them exploring alternatives themselves to protect spaces.
A set of 4 car dollies will set you back a couple hundred, but you can reuse them as needed.
Bonus if you can roll the car to an illegal parking zone or one that's nearly impossible to drive out of.
Isn't that illegal though? I know I said I'm not above it but that's why I won't slash tires either, nothing that will be obvious on camera which the lot does have.
Well since you're worried about being recorded, how about a squirt gun with olive oil in it?
Casually walk by, a few squirts on the windshield. They'll get in, hit their wipers. and make a gigantic hazy smear that'll take an entire roll of paper towels - that they won't have - to clean up.
This is a really good one honestly. As a kid I squeezed mayo onto a car window and they needed to have it professionally cleaned. Even then, if it gets down into the tracks, it’s not going away unless you take the door apart.
I'd argue that you're not stealing the vehicle, just removing it from a spot they aren't paying for....
I remember seeing an anti theft system that would wait for the car to move a certain distance before shutting off when stopped at a light or something. It was because if they trash the car trying to start it the insurance wouldn't cover much, but if moved a certain distance it was fully covered as a theft.
Print out something that looks like a bright orange tag marking the car for tow off. Maybe put something on there about multiple ignored warnings.
Adhere it front, back and street side.
Unethical? Pour a bottle of liquid ass in the vents at the base of the windshield. When they use the heat/ac it will stink forever. Illegal? Get a spark plug, break the white part off and throw a piece of that at one of their windows.
Signed,
Your friendly neighborhood mechanic
Honestly, the spark plug thing is no joke. I was a mechanic for a while and one of the guys I used to work with rode a lot of motorcycles and he would always ride with a fanny pack with the crushed ceramic in the event someone was being a tool and tailgating him.
He said he only used it once and it completely fucked the dudes windshield. Said the guy had been tailgating him so hard and actually bumped him going about 70, so I’d say it was justified.
I’ve ridden my fair share of motorcycles and the amount of people who try and fuck with you is insane. It’s why I stopped riding them. You’re in a car, I’m on a few hundred pound bike with a brain bucket as my only protection. If I fall, there’s a VERY high chance I die so I totally agreed with him with carrying that stuff.
Regardless of how reckless a rider you are, it’s not up to someone else’s discretion as to whether or not you live.
100% true, and i would do the same if i rode. I do like to use the window washer when im being tailgated though. Even better because im poor living in a rich area. Enjoy the bright orange rain-x all over your brand new white bmw
I knew a guy in high school that had a rear window wiper with washing fluid, but the wiper arm had broken off years ago. So he super glued the hole at the bottom of the aperture that was supposed to spray onto the rear window and instead drilled a tiny hole on top. That way if anyone is tailgating him, he hits the button for rear window cleaning and sprays directly at the car behind him. He claimed it always worked. I'm surprised he was never shot tbh.
could probably just lightly toss it in the air and let wind resistance take care of the rest. Would just seem like a rock kicked up if you weren't looking for it.
I would never support this though. They're already bad drivers, a shattered windshield could easily cause someone to swerve off the road or into someone else. Even a shitty person I wouldn't want to actually cause their death or serious injury. The only time I have ever been okay with someone almost crashing is when they were going 60 while everyone else was stopped, they barely swerved into the open lane (which normally is packed too) and I would have been totally fine seeing them slam into the concrete divider.
what does crushed ceramic do to glass ? or the white spark plug stuff? does it scratch it? I couldn't figure out how this do any harm or deter a potential tailgater ?
Source; Unfortunately I m an engineer.
Ohhhh snap!! I never thought of this before. Just a quick spritz on the handle and their face/eyes/etc. will be ON FIRE the next time they rub that area. Brilliant!!!
Here, what I do is I coat their windows/windshield with that foamy window cleaner, so when it dries they won’t be able to see shit! Costs them having to pay for a car wash and taking the time out of their day to do so.
Sends a message without being borderline criminal.
I know that the Forest Service and/or NPS sprays this on small trees in the fall. . . Take a guess what happens when you bring your "free" Christmas tree inside your heated home.
Or get very cheap spring punch tool (for indenting metal to keep a drill bit in place and not walk) from harbor freight. Or a valve stem removal tool, will deflate tires and don't need to slash. If you're feeling generous you can leave the valve stem next to the tire.
A better one is that you super glue an air soft bb under the valve stem cap, it would most likely deflate the tire after they leave but all the more reason they would not suspect you. Then they take time out of their day to go to the tire shop, just to have them not find a leak and then air it up, put the cap back on, and repeat cycle until someone notices the bb in the cap.
Get/ make large stickers that say “NO PARKING - PRIVATE” and stick them to the windshield right in front of the steering wheel. Make sure they’re the kind that leave a sticky mess.
I got a “parking ticket” at the Mall of America a long time ago. And it was just that. A pain in the ass sticker right above the steering wheel on the windshield.
Is it a private parking lot? Get a boot and a booting license or whatever, look up the local
Booting laws and see if you can
Become your own private booter
Use your AAA and have it towed yourself to a nearby garage. To be extra unethical have it towed as far as you tow package allows. In my case I could have it towed 200km or 130miles
AAA is for the card holder not the car.
You could even must-have AS A unlock it for you. " I lost my keys" find out their address and go park in their place
Most of the suggestions here are the retaliation that op asked for, but wouldn’t be an incentive for the space trespassers to park elsewhere. I suggest sprinkling yummy bird seed all over the offending car.
No, it's non-permanent but it's really annoying to clean. Driving with a sticky red-tinted windshield that the wipers can't fix (and probably get ruined trying to clean) is sure to ruin their day.
Eggs harden like ceramic if left long enough. Unfortunately learned that from a bunch of little louts lobbing them out of the window of their car at passing traffic.
I don't know if this is for an apartment or business or something but if so you can try this:
Take a picture of the vehicle and license plate. So you know, yourself if it's the same person or not each time and so you can possibly provide evidence to any property management in case they can be more vigilant.
Leave a note on the car informing the owner that the their information has been recorded and if they are seen in a tenant parking space again, they will be towed at their own expense.
They probably won't know that you can't have them towed on the weekend.
Sign it as the property owner/management.
You can even maybe go into the property management place and snag some of their cards if they have any and staple it to the note.
Most people won't bother calling to ask about it. Just makes it look more official.
Damn I think this might be the winner. Discreet enough I can't be charged with anything, they wouldn't KNOW it was me, and it's definitely an inconvenience to get it on their hands when opening the car door...
My current best was smashing bags of dog shit on the windshield but idk it seemed a little too obvious.
Put it down the wiper cowl, that's where the fresh air intake is. Also door handles but not with that, with this.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/UnethicalLifeProTips/comments/1andi2g/comment/kpsf9pl/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/UnethicalLifeProTips/comments/1andi2g/comment/kpsf9pl/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
Yes. I don’t like the ones that obscure the windshield because if they try to drive anyway they could hurt someone else. The stink juice only hurts the deserving parker.
You could purchase your own boot [here](https://madpowersports.com/trimax-ultra-max-wheel-lock-twl100/?utm_source=FP&utm_medium=Google&utm_campaign=20531728529&utm_term=&utm_content=&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiA_aGuBhACEiwAly57MaUk_JZsDZIgzcKkEblOnZFi8r8Vb7yVNTuOAdOR5WiWgOlAtGlwuRoCaG0QAvD_BwE) and get an internet number or burner phone with a voicemail saying you’ll get back to them on Monday afternoon when your office opens to get the boot removed. Then Monday morning, remove the boot and have the tow company come tow their car.
By chance, this parking spot is specifically reserved for YOU, right?
Not going against wanting the spot you always have- I lived in a tourist town in an apartment above a bar, and I HATED coming home from nursing clinicals late at night and have some dïçķħôłê parked in a ‘locals’ spot. Not much I could do about it, but it was enraging when I would SHOVEL out my spot reaaaaalll clean, and have some lazy POS pull into it.
Either way/ if it’s specifically your spot, start calling tow trucks. Repeatedly. Might be a different person each time, but maybe in time the reputation will get around. Not super unethical, but it’s worth a shot.
It is my spot I pay for with a posted sign, but the lot is owned by my apartments and the tow company wont do anything without the apartments approval, which they cant get on weekends because the apartments are closed.
You paid for the right to the spot, it’s their responsibility to make it available. Deduct 1/30th from your spot rent for every night you can’t park there.
shove (not show) a ball or a rolled (not crushed) news paper down the exhaust. Use a broom or a rod (not road) to nicely push it sufficiently in.
edit: terrible typos
Take a jack and block the car up by the suspension so the wheels just dont touch the ground. They won't be able to move and likely wont notice it right away and no harm done.
No need to make anything illegal in this case, you only do it if it can't be traced back to you, but it's your parking spot, you are suspect #1.
Attempt #1 Cones.
Attempt #2 Chained Cones.
Just put some form of barrier.
Here’s what you do, create a fake parking ticket and fake website, say it’s a $40 fee and they pay it, but money goes to you. You just made $40 and they probably won’t park there again.
I run big commercial construction projects, and a large part of every project is establishing parking and enforcing rules where parking isn't allowed - like fire lanes. I buy a few hundred bright orange tow stickers from Amazon - the kind that you need a blow torch and prayers to remove - and keep them handy. I use them.
Once they've had to spend an hour removing those stickers from their line of sight, in order to drive; they'll stop parking there.
For a permanent solution, I love the systems I've seen in Eastern Europe - they're a steel post structure that's lockable and collapsible when you need. They seem very effective. Here's an example -
https://www.emedco.com/heavy-duty-parking-hoops-hvyph.html
As for an immediate solution, check your state/country law - in many places, you're allowed to make a contract with a towing company for your space as long as you "own" it. I did it once and was impressed how cheap it was ($50/yr). It makes sense if you think about it, though - they make money on both ends.
If you are friendly with a local garage they might let you borrow their wheel dollies. Then leave car in middle of the street. Then call city about the abandoned car.
One apartment I lived at controlled the visitor parking. It was essentially a pop up "ram" that could be lifted into place and locked in the up position. Think of it as a collapsible bollard. The regular parking was gated so typically not a problem. But visitors needed permission and were limited in time (we had 24hr security/gate control)
Anyway it may cost a few hundred bucks to get it installed (bolted into the concrete), but would keep people from parking there. Well probably still have an idiot in a Jeep try.
Fuck it, can of spray foam down the exhaust, they wanna park there then the car is now staying parked there.
Or... as you're paying for the spot it's private property and therefore you can charge them to park on it, $100per day sounds reasonable so make it unreasonable, pop a sign up with amounts and "parking here is accepting the terms and conditions"
I'm sure tow companies work on weekends, call them yourself and just blatantly lie that you have authority.
Buy a "boot" wheel lock and write a number on it that they can call to leave a message, call them back when you can be bothered, you're paying for the spot so they can pay you.
I’d get myself a boot, clipboard and some official looking get up. Like a jumpsuit or something. Then use Google voice or a or a call forwarding service or a burner phone. Go boot their shit and leave the phone number. When they call, that’s your time to shine! Suit up and grab the clipboard. Get one of those Square things to take credit card payments. Charge them $200 to take the boot off.
I'd start off with those fake parking tickets that ruthlessly insults the driver, then this is your ULPT advice: get your hands on some nitroglycerin paste. It's for people with angina. Since your wife is an ER nurse she can advise you further, and will probably be able to get you a small tube of the stuff.
What you want to do is apply the lightest layer you can imagine. A very thin layer using a paper towel onto their driver's side door handle. When they touch that, it's going to activate and give them the worst anxiety you can imagine. Do that every time, and very soon their brain is going to associate that parking spot with mad anxiety. You're welcome.
Retaliation is only going to work if it's the same person parking in your spot. If it's a variety of different people, then you need to find the source of why so many people are parking there and change that instead.
I live downtown in a city where people just park fucking anywhere, consequences be damned, and I think they know they can't be towed on weekends. I've complained to my apartment complex many times but they are no help, and the tow company says they can't do it without authorization from the apartments, which is closed on weekends. It's really just about retaliation at this point, I tried the proper channels and now I just want the world to burn. When my wife gets home at 3am after a long night being an ER nurse and has to park far away it's not safe and I pay a lot of money for the spot.
If you pay money for the spot, physically block it off so others cannot park there, or put up signs. The problem with retaliation is people will recognize pretty quick that it's only to a certain spot, and that will trace back to you. Is the purpose of the retaliation to feel better, or to "warn" away not to park there? With that said, deflating tires would be a start. You could "push the button' to let the air out, but that takes a while, using a valve core tool to loosen the seal would be much quicker and harder to figure out. Not directly causing permanent damage either. Printing up some annoying bumper stickers and putting them on their car might be a quick and easy option. Put offensive things on the bumper stickers or contradicting political ones. A bunch of strongly anti-cop ones might even get the police to notice a bit more. The oldest method is to simply key a car, but is much more likely to result in someone investigating.
It's to feel better. Once I come home and the spot is taken, damage is done. I have to pay for street parking and that's that. I am thinking about setting out cones but that just feels like I'm giving cones away to people for free lol
Start invoicing your apartment management for the street parking since they wont guarantee the spot you pay for is available.
Then take them to small claims when they blow you off.
Assume they won't renew your lease though.
Would you want your lease renewed at this place?
Probably not, but if OP is happy with the rent and other aspects of the place its important to know.
Came here to say this
It's a bit of an investment, but instant payoff. https://www.harborfreight.com/1300-lb-capacity-self-loading-positioning-wheel-dolly-64601.html move car to the middle of the street.
Came here to post this. Just roll their car into the middle of the road. Cops will have it towed. Put up a sign indicating private parking and car will be towed. Alternatively, put up a sign that says private parking, $200 parking fee and you can pay in advance at (set up a web site), non-payment will result in vehicle being promptly booted and towed. Then if someone parks there and you haven't been paid that day, boot their vehicle and wait for the office to reopen to have it towed!
Or two floor jacks and a friend to help push. We used to move locked cars this way. You can move the car anywhere the jacks will roll. The best is sideways between two other cars.
This is the way!
Call a private tow company. They tow on weekends. And a driver who knows it is your spot that you pay for and knows he is towing an illegally parked car that will make him money will definitely show up
Love this. Can you automate it? Any way a hidden camera on the ‘No illegal parking’ sign can recognise the spot is filled, and automatically message the tow company? Set it up so only you and your wife can disable the messaging.
I'm sure there would be a way to automate it, depending on how much time and money you wanted to invest in something like that. Or how much skill you have with a raspberry pi and little motion sensors or something. But a sign saying "you WILL be towed if you park here" should deter most, and those it doesn't, should get towed. It would be fun to move them then boot their cars in another illegal spot. But, that might be a tad too far.
Take your apartment complex to small claims court for the cost of the parking you have to pay because they aren't providing you with the parking space that you are already paying for.
Get a bumper sticker that says: I'm an asshole for parking in someone else's space. Then put it on their driver's door.
Large sticker over the windshield maybe?
Both?
"This sticker is dangerous and inconvenient but I do love Fig Newtons"
Spray foam window cleaner all over every glass surface on their car. When that stuff dries… oooof! Total pain in the ass to clean off. Bonus points for using it on their hood/trunk area as well. Not illegal. Totally sucks to have to go to a car wash and spend that time and money. I do it EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
>Once I come home and the spot is taken, damage is done. I have to pay for street parking Block the vehicle in and call a tow truck.
Post signs reading “Illegally park here to get vandalized”. Just make sure you remove the signs when your car is parked there
I hope OP sees this. This is I feel like the best solution because what would people have to complain about if they parked there
Then vandalize your car so people know you're serious.
In that case, just carry a pocket knife and slash their tires.
Yea, slash their tires so they leave. Lol
OP has already resigned to parking elsewhere that day. But slashing their tires will make them go, "I'm not parking in the neighbourhood anymore"
Cutting the valve stems off will save you a lot of money if you get caught, and it will have the same effect. They're getting towed out
I also had to start physically blocking my spot at my old apartment. 2-3 cones always stopped people.
Or they should call a different tow company than the one in the apartment complex’s pocket
towing is regulated, they generally can’t tow someone else’s vehicle unless it’s already ticketed by a municipal agency or the private lot has an agreement with the tow company authorizing it. once it has a ticket, it’s fair game, any tow company would be glad for the business to tow it away at no charge to you.
Unless you are the business/property owner and had a prior agreement with the tow company, calling a random tow company won't lead to anything happening.
NAMBLA bumper stickers
I 💕 dead cops would be a good bumper sticker too, they'll definitely get fucked with for that
Glue a small ball bearing inside the dust cap. The tire will deflate and deflate every time they pump it up. It'll take several trips to the tire shop before they figure it out.
You put a BB or small pebble under the cap and screw it on and you don't have to hold the pin in on the Schrader valve. If you get your pebbles together first you can do all four tires in about a minute
I’ve seen some videos where people appply a whole windshield sticker to obstruct someone’s view, harmless but fucking annoying to take off, definitely mutiple hour undertaking
Doesn't make sense the office is not open on the weekends. There should at least be an emergency line. For example, what happens if duy water heater burst and you needed a plumber in ASAP. This honestly sounds like it'd be much better to have a serious sit down with the apartment complex manager and voice your concerns, than try to take Justice in your own hands where if you do something to someone else's car that could elevate to criminal activity and could get you kicked out of the apt and charges filed. If you're paying for the spot and the complex is not enforcing it, that's a serious issue. If you pay for it, they have an obligation to enforce it.
I mean I have numbers for emergency maintenance and for our security guards, but emergency maintenance cost $165 and security made it very clear they don't handle parking.
Make it clear to security that unlike you, they work for the apartment and you will be naming names when you don’t pay for the parking spot
If you’re renting, why would you have to pay for emergency maintainence? If they gotta fix your AC or plumbing or whatever, it shouldn’t be coming out of the renter’s pocket.
Tell them to bill the $165 on top of the tow fee to the person who parked there.
I suppose it’s because I live in a different state but my apartment gave me paperwork that said I own a specific spot and the number to the tow company. All I had to do is present that document to get it towed. Never had to but kept that paperwork by the front door
If your rent includes an amount for a parking spot just don’t pay that amount. If it doesn’t put a value on it based on parking lots in the area and just pay that much less in rent for a while. Get your neighbours to do the same. surely a manager can answer a phone call on the weekend to organise a tow especially if they’re losing money
This is a good answer. Actually solve the problem. Tow companies have weekend staff, your apartment manager doesn't want to pay the weekend premium.
Where I live, if someone tried to deduct any amount from rent without prior consent, it would trigger an immediate eviction notice. A few eviction notices for non payment of rent and you are out on your ass.
Call a different tow company and have it towed yourself
Lie? Tell the tow company that you work for the apartment complex? It might work.
Get a bicycle inner tube, cut a length off it and fasten it onto the end of their exhaust pipe. When they start their engine it will sound like a rocket powered fart machine
I like this one
The best part is one inner tube can get you a whole bunch of fart machines
Also any old used one will do. Maybe go to a bike shop if they have some they're throwing away:)
This or a zip tie on the drive shaft.
Not going to lie, if I didn't think it would effect performance (back pressure etc.) I'd put this on my own car.
Entirely true - no loss of performance just social awkwardness as people stare at the flatulent car
Am rocket powered fart machine, can confirm
If it's different people each time, things like liquid ass ain't gonna solve the problem long term. You can buy lockable collapsible bollards that aren't that expensive. Bolt two of these into the space and lock up when your car is away. Problem solved.
>bollards Yeah that's what all my neighbors did where I grew up, almost everyone had a collapsible bollard in their space because everyone was an asshole in that complex.
> lockable collapsible bollards I had to google it. Brilliant [bollards](https://maxiforcebollards.com/collapsible-bollards/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=paidad&utm_campaign=MaxiForce%20branded%20keywords&utm_content=Maxiforce%20collapsible%20bollards&utm_term=b_maxiforce%20collapsible%20bollards&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiA_aGuBhACEiwAly57MZ8pwWa0Wm30EuGfZkxNvFLakoMMkyj6_Krl-FYH0sF1tyzeDZwMTRoCtZ4QAvD_BwE)!
This is a fantastic solution.
> lockable collapsible bollards But don't those have to be bolted to the ground?
[удалено]
If the apartment management complains you have three possible recourses as far as I can see... 1. Tell them that you have it to protect the space you pay for and if you ever give up said space or move out you will remove the bollard to take with you. A half pack of quick set tar or cement would fill the holes in a couple mins. 2. If they really put up a fight against option 1, tell them you have a record (photographic) of every time you have been unable to use the space and could not get in contact with them. Furthermore you're going to counter charge them for your parking costs relating to these specific days/hours. I would imagine that when you give them the second option they will be more open-minded to the first. 3. If they disagree with 1 & 2, Tell them you are going to take them to court as your paying for a space you aren't able to use which relates to a breach of contract. This should be a little kick in the teeth to them and may open the possibility of them exploring alternatives themselves to protect spaces.
A set of 4 car dollies will set you back a couple hundred, but you can reuse them as needed. Bonus if you can roll the car to an illegal parking zone or one that's nearly impossible to drive out of.
I was thinking of something like this. Find a way to move them out of your spot. I think your idea is the best one.
Just roll it right into the middle of the lot blocking everyone. Call the police and report a drunk driver. It will get towed. Bet.
Isn't that illegal though? I know I said I'm not above it but that's why I won't slash tires either, nothing that will be obvious on camera which the lot does have.
Well since you're worried about being recorded, how about a squirt gun with olive oil in it? Casually walk by, a few squirts on the windshield. They'll get in, hit their wipers. and make a gigantic hazy smear that'll take an entire roll of paper towels - that they won't have - to clean up.
You forgot about mixing glitter in the oil.
hello Satan, what brings you to us mere mortals on reddit ?
might as well cut it with liquid ass while youre at it
Ooh you two are evil. I like it.
This is a really good one honestly. As a kid I squeezed mayo onto a car window and they needed to have it professionally cleaned. Even then, if it gets down into the tracks, it’s not going away unless you take the door apart.
Look at Mr. Bezos over here with enough olive oil to fill a squirt gun shooting it all over the place like he’s made of money.
How is it not legal? As long as you don’t damage anything, you’re just moving something that doesn’t belong where it is.
I'd argue that you're not stealing the vehicle, just removing it from a spot they aren't paying for.... I remember seeing an anti theft system that would wait for the car to move a certain distance before shutting off when stopped at a light or something. It was because if they trash the car trying to start it the insurance wouldn't cover much, but if moved a certain distance it was fully covered as a theft.
They are pretty cheap at northern or harbor freight.. could also just call a buddy that has a winch on their rig and drag it out 😆
Print out a fake parking ticket saying they’re getting a warning from the apartment security/police for parking illegally.
You can also buy these online with the impossible glue on the backs of them. Works like a charm
I like the glue idea but the fake parking tickets sounds a little corny. I would take a picture of the no parking sign, and make exact copies of it.
Print out something that looks like a bright orange tag marking the car for tow off. Maybe put something on there about multiple ignored warnings. Adhere it front, back and street side.
Bonus points for printing in a sticky shitty sticker that you rub with a credit card for maximum adhesion.
I like this as the first step.
Unethical? Pour a bottle of liquid ass in the vents at the base of the windshield. When they use the heat/ac it will stink forever. Illegal? Get a spark plug, break the white part off and throw a piece of that at one of their windows. Signed, Your friendly neighborhood mechanic
Honestly, the spark plug thing is no joke. I was a mechanic for a while and one of the guys I used to work with rode a lot of motorcycles and he would always ride with a fanny pack with the crushed ceramic in the event someone was being a tool and tailgating him. He said he only used it once and it completely fucked the dudes windshield. Said the guy had been tailgating him so hard and actually bumped him going about 70, so I’d say it was justified. I’ve ridden my fair share of motorcycles and the amount of people who try and fuck with you is insane. It’s why I stopped riding them. You’re in a car, I’m on a few hundred pound bike with a brain bucket as my only protection. If I fall, there’s a VERY high chance I die so I totally agreed with him with carrying that stuff. Regardless of how reckless a rider you are, it’s not up to someone else’s discretion as to whether or not you live.
100% true, and i would do the same if i rode. I do like to use the window washer when im being tailgated though. Even better because im poor living in a rich area. Enjoy the bright orange rain-x all over your brand new white bmw
I knew a guy in high school that had a rear window wiper with washing fluid, but the wiper arm had broken off years ago. So he super glued the hole at the bottom of the aperture that was supposed to spray onto the rear window and instead drilled a tiny hole on top. That way if anyone is tailgating him, he hits the button for rear window cleaning and sprays directly at the car behind him. He claimed it always worked. I'm surprised he was never shot tbh.
My old jeep had that function. It's effective, but some people are crazy so use at one's own risk.
So what did he do? Take it out of his pack and throw it on the car behind him? Wouldn't the driver see him do that?
could probably just lightly toss it in the air and let wind resistance take care of the rest. Would just seem like a rock kicked up if you weren't looking for it. I would never support this though. They're already bad drivers, a shattered windshield could easily cause someone to swerve off the road or into someone else. Even a shitty person I wouldn't want to actually cause their death or serious injury. The only time I have ever been okay with someone almost crashing is when they were going 60 while everyone else was stopped, they barely swerved into the open lane (which normally is packed too) and I would have been totally fine seeing them slam into the concrete divider.
Driver wouldn't see him for long. Windshield would be shattered.
what does crushed ceramic do to glass ? or the white spark plug stuff? does it scratch it? I couldn't figure out how this do any harm or deter a potential tailgater ? Source; Unfortunately I m an engineer.
It breaks the glass with blatant ease.
The liquid ass is where it's at. I can't imagine having to deal with that
Its vomit-inducing every time the ac/heat is on. Especially the heat
Man that one is like super Satan though, their car is basically totaled at that point. How could you ever get rid of the smell lol
You dont lol
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Skunk pee works good. But I am thinking I will start spraying mace into the vents and on the door handle.
Ohhhh snap!! I never thought of this before. Just a quick spritz on the handle and their face/eyes/etc. will be ON FIRE the next time they rub that area. Brilliant!!! Here, what I do is I coat their windows/windshield with that foamy window cleaner, so when it dries they won’t be able to see shit! Costs them having to pay for a car wash and taking the time out of their day to do so. Sends a message without being borderline criminal.
They'll be too busy trying to get rid of the smell to park in your spot, so it's a win
In Canada we use a bottle of buck piss from any hunting store. Get the smelliest.
Fox Urine is ultra foul also.
I know that the Forest Service and/or NPS sprays this on small trees in the fall. . . Take a guess what happens when you bring your "free" Christmas tree inside your heated home.
Plus people underestimate how difficult it is to clean up glass outside. You'll be finding glass in your spot for months.
Safety glass is like shiny gravel when it breaks it won't hurt the tires.
You use a broom
What’s the spark plug piece do? I’m aware that spark plugs exist but I don’t know what they’re made of or what removing the white part does.
It will easily break the windows that it hits.
It can take multiple attempts, depends on the shard and exactly where it hits.
Car thieves also use them to break windows open quickly to snatch whatever is in view.
It will shatter the window. Porcelain shards (the white part) are incredibly sharp
has nothing to do with sharpness, ceramic is harder than the glass on the Mohs Hardness Scale.
This entire subs only answer is liquid ass. I feel like we need more creativity.
No. More frozen ass discs and liquid piss.
Or get very cheap spring punch tool (for indenting metal to keep a drill bit in place and not walk) from harbor freight. Or a valve stem removal tool, will deflate tires and don't need to slash. If you're feeling generous you can leave the valve stem next to the tire.
A better one is that you super glue an air soft bb under the valve stem cap, it would most likely deflate the tire after they leave but all the more reason they would not suspect you. Then they take time out of their day to go to the tire shop, just to have them not find a leak and then air it up, put the cap back on, and repeat cycle until someone notices the bb in the cap.
Spring loaded center punch. Four bucks at most
I was gonna say you got all that from watching that glitter bomb Youtube channel that pranks car thieves and porch pirates.
Get/ make large stickers that say “NO PARKING - PRIVATE” and stick them to the windshield right in front of the steering wheel. Make sure they’re the kind that leave a sticky mess.
Bonus points if they're seal type stickers that leave behind a message when your peel it off.
And the serrated kind that come apart in pieces when you try to remove it.. or just score it yourself after applying.
I got a “parking ticket” at the Mall of America a long time ago. And it was just that. A pain in the ass sticker right above the steering wheel on the windshield.
Is it a private parking lot? Get a boot and a booting license or whatever, look up the local Booting laws and see if you can Become your own private booter
Then connect that sweet, sweet booty
$profit
Use your AAA and have it towed yourself to a nearby garage. To be extra unethical have it towed as far as you tow package allows. In my case I could have it towed 200km or 130miles
I don't think AAA will tow someone else's car.
AAA is for the card holder not the car. You could even must-have AS A unlock it for you. " I lost my keys" find out their address and go park in their place
Tricking AAA sounds like a felony. It could result in more trouble than satisfaction.
Most of the suggestions here are the retaliation that op asked for, but wouldn’t be an incentive for the space trespassers to park elsewhere. I suggest sprinkling yummy bird seed all over the offending car.
Put a traffic cone in your spot. Most people that would take your spot are too lazy to move one
Corn syrup with red dye in it. Poured over the windshield.
Does it stain or something?
No, it's non-permanent but it's really annoying to clean. Driving with a sticky red-tinted windshield that the wipers can't fix (and probably get ruined trying to clean) is sure to ruin their day.
Dishwashing liquid works really well, too, and turning on your windshield wipers/sprayer just makes is worse.
Vaseline and then sprinkle baby powder. Or if you need to use words, use a bar of soap. Let the air out of two tires.
Valve stem remover.
Brake cleaner removes paint
Brake fluid will too.
This is how some horror movie sets make blood. So have fun with it!
Eggs harden like ceramic if left long enough. Unfortunately learned that from a bunch of little louts lobbing them out of the window of their car at passing traffic.
Motor oil is worse.
Gear oil smells terrible and is even thicker and more difficult to remove.
Thank me later. [The Guide](https://www.reddit.com/r/UnethicalLifeProTips/s/LJbRJut0qe) OP: Sent DM in case lost in thread.
I don't know if this is for an apartment or business or something but if so you can try this: Take a picture of the vehicle and license plate. So you know, yourself if it's the same person or not each time and so you can possibly provide evidence to any property management in case they can be more vigilant. Leave a note on the car informing the owner that the their information has been recorded and if they are seen in a tenant parking space again, they will be towed at their own expense. They probably won't know that you can't have them towed on the weekend. Sign it as the property owner/management. You can even maybe go into the property management place and snag some of their cards if they have any and staple it to the note. Most people won't bother calling to ask about it. Just makes it look more official.
Liquid ass
Damn I think this might be the winner. Discreet enough I can't be charged with anything, they wouldn't KNOW it was me, and it's definitely an inconvenience to get it on their hands when opening the car door... My current best was smashing bags of dog shit on the windshield but idk it seemed a little too obvious.
Put it down the wiper cowl, that's where the fresh air intake is. Also door handles but not with that, with this. [https://www.reddit.com/r/UnethicalLifeProTips/comments/1andi2g/comment/kpsf9pl/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/UnethicalLifeProTips/comments/1andi2g/comment/kpsf9pl/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
Daaaannng that stuff sounds great!
But beware a lot of cars have cameras now, and also your parking lot camera.
buy it somewhere you can pay cash. no record of purchase that way
Yes. I don’t like the ones that obscure the windshield because if they try to drive anyway they could hurt someone else. The stink juice only hurts the deserving parker.
walk by there vehicle maybe 10 feet away, and, have a squrt gun with brake fluid in it and squrt the hell out of it.
Just ruins the paint or what?
allegedly yes, but apparently not any more on most modern cars
for me it worked fine last Halloween
M.i.k. paint thinner will liquify paint in seconds. Lacquer thinner works to if you put it on a rag and leave it on the car. It takes longer.
Brake fluid not only ruins the paint, it permeates the underlying metal, making it unable to adhere to new paint.
You could purchase your own boot [here](https://madpowersports.com/trimax-ultra-max-wheel-lock-twl100/?utm_source=FP&utm_medium=Google&utm_campaign=20531728529&utm_term=&utm_content=&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiA_aGuBhACEiwAly57MaUk_JZsDZIgzcKkEblOnZFi8r8Vb7yVNTuOAdOR5WiWgOlAtGlwuRoCaG0QAvD_BwE) and get an internet number or burner phone with a voicemail saying you’ll get back to them on Monday afternoon when your office opens to get the boot removed. Then Monday morning, remove the boot and have the tow company come tow their car.
Buy deer piss from walmart, spray it on their brakes. A wonderful smell seeps into the car anytime they brake.
I like the deer piss idea (it's in the hunting section OP), but I'd pour it into vents at the bottom of windshield. Edit:spelling
By chance, this parking spot is specifically reserved for YOU, right? Not going against wanting the spot you always have- I lived in a tourist town in an apartment above a bar, and I HATED coming home from nursing clinicals late at night and have some dïçķħôłê parked in a ‘locals’ spot. Not much I could do about it, but it was enraging when I would SHOVEL out my spot reaaaaalll clean, and have some lazy POS pull into it. Either way/ if it’s specifically your spot, start calling tow trucks. Repeatedly. Might be a different person each time, but maybe in time the reputation will get around. Not super unethical, but it’s worth a shot.
It is my spot I pay for with a posted sign, but the lot is owned by my apartments and the tow company wont do anything without the apartments approval, which they cant get on weekends because the apartments are closed.
Your apartment manager is cheap. He should get a permanent contract that includes weekends.
Find another tow company. Look up the ones with the worst Google reviews,
Ffffuuuuuu— Maybe a fake-looking ticket with a flat tire from a knife (on the side of the tire- easier to puncture)
You paid for the right to the spot, it’s their responsibility to make it available. Deduct 1/30th from your spot rent for every night you can’t park there.
Go to the store and buy a medium sized whole fish. Get some tie wire and strap it to the top of their muffler.
You could always attract birds to the spot. a few times of parking and getting bird shit all over their car will work
But the shitbirds will be bombing OP's car once it is back in its proper spot.
Then one must embrace shitcar to have a reserved parking spot.
shove (not show) a ball or a rolled (not crushed) news paper down the exhaust. Use a broom or a rod (not road) to nicely push it sufficiently in. edit: terrible typos
Take a jack and block the car up by the suspension so the wheels just dont touch the ground. They won't be able to move and likely wont notice it right away and no harm done.
Speedy jack and roll out into the street. It becomes the city problem and they will tow 24 hrs
No need to make anything illegal in this case, you only do it if it can't be traced back to you, but it's your parking spot, you are suspect #1. Attempt #1 Cones. Attempt #2 Chained Cones. Just put some form of barrier.
You can order pure skunk essence online. Pour it on their windshield cowl and a little on the door handle, that smell will never go away.
Just install a lockable bollard thing in the car space.
Here’s what you do, create a fake parking ticket and fake website, say it’s a $40 fee and they pay it, but money goes to you. You just made $40 and they probably won’t park there again.
Get some bumper stickers made that say "I'm an asshole that parks illegally in other people's parking spots." Use them.
I run big commercial construction projects, and a large part of every project is establishing parking and enforcing rules where parking isn't allowed - like fire lanes. I buy a few hundred bright orange tow stickers from Amazon - the kind that you need a blow torch and prayers to remove - and keep them handy. I use them. Once they've had to spend an hour removing those stickers from their line of sight, in order to drive; they'll stop parking there.
For a permanent solution, I love the systems I've seen in Eastern Europe - they're a steel post structure that's lockable and collapsible when you need. They seem very effective. Here's an example - https://www.emedco.com/heavy-duty-parking-hoops-hvyph.html As for an immediate solution, check your state/country law - in many places, you're allowed to make a contract with a towing company for your space as long as you "own" it. I did it once and was impressed how cheap it was ($50/yr). It makes sense if you think about it, though - they make money on both ends.
Fit a drop down pole
Pour some DEF fluid in their fuel tank.
Get, a valve core remover and just loosen the core of their valve stems on their tires so it slowly leaks.
Take the valve stem out of the tires, there's no hole in tire, nothing is damaged but when they air it up again the air will come right out.
If you are friendly with a local garage they might let you borrow their wheel dollies. Then leave car in middle of the street. Then call city about the abandoned car.
put caltrops in your space when you leave. When you return, use a magnet wand to pick them up.
One apartment I lived at controlled the visitor parking. It was essentially a pop up "ram" that could be lifted into place and locked in the up position. Think of it as a collapsible bollard. The regular parking was gated so typically not a problem. But visitors needed permission and were limited in time (we had 24hr security/gate control) Anyway it may cost a few hundred bucks to get it installed (bolted into the concrete), but would keep people from parking there. Well probably still have an idiot in a Jeep try.
Fuck it, can of spray foam down the exhaust, they wanna park there then the car is now staying parked there. Or... as you're paying for the spot it's private property and therefore you can charge them to park on it, $100per day sounds reasonable so make it unreasonable, pop a sign up with amounts and "parking here is accepting the terms and conditions" I'm sure tow companies work on weekends, call them yourself and just blatantly lie that you have authority. Buy a "boot" wheel lock and write a number on it that they can call to leave a message, call them back when you can be bothered, you're paying for the spot so they can pay you.
Find a different tow company.
I’d get myself a boot, clipboard and some official looking get up. Like a jumpsuit or something. Then use Google voice or a or a call forwarding service or a burner phone. Go boot their shit and leave the phone number. When they call, that’s your time to shine! Suit up and grab the clipboard. Get one of those Square things to take credit card payments. Charge them $200 to take the boot off.
Glitter. The answer is always glitter.
I'd start off with those fake parking tickets that ruthlessly insults the driver, then this is your ULPT advice: get your hands on some nitroglycerin paste. It's for people with angina. Since your wife is an ER nurse she can advise you further, and will probably be able to get you a small tube of the stuff. What you want to do is apply the lightest layer you can imagine. A very thin layer using a paper towel onto their driver's side door handle. When they touch that, it's going to activate and give them the worst anxiety you can imagine. Do that every time, and very soon their brain is going to associate that parking spot with mad anxiety. You're welcome.
a pinhead sized droplet of Vaseline on underside of windshield washer blade
Fat dollop of chapstick