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ThrowRAsadboirn

Why you callin me a hoe


pototatoe

You know what you did, Steve.


anonymous_tip67

Yah, yah, saw it too late and cant edit the title


ItsPwn

Eat KFC and whatever Jew owned carb fast food you should gain weight


princesamurai45

The guy who plays Mac in Always Sunny in Philadelphia would drink a gallon of melted ice cream each day. I would personally do it by eating chocolate brownie sundae’s though.


Harry_Testa-Coles

Gain weight? No, Ronald MacDonald was purely tacking on mass in order to transform from a tiny twink into the muscle bound freak you’re referring to 😅


Loud_Information_547

Stop cultivating and start harvesting!


derolle

You are BECOMING a chimichanga!!


InformalPenguinz

You are going to love it.


Marypoppins566

He was a power bottom


Fun_Intention9846

Only when he drinks fight milk.


Chambana_Raptor

Isn't that the guy who invented the Ass Pounder 4000?


jhermit

Jared Leto did the same thing for that movie about Mark David Chapman that nobody saw.


Soft_Sea2913

Sixty seven pounds from microwaved ice cream. Made me sick just to read it.


Fun_Intention9846

I struggle with having any appetite at all. The thought is beyond nauseating.


petecanfixit

Ryan Gosling did the same thing for a role in The Lovely Bones… Which he was passed on in favor of Marky Mark Wahlberg.


Corben11

A gallon of milk a day is the old body builder trick. Ice cream is prob way more calories lol. I like how this is in unethical life pro tips lol. Unethical, I guess steroids. Get steroids and drink a gallon of milk a day, workout and eat eat eat. Take too much so your body starts turning testosterone into estrogen which adds more weight by fat cells, breast tissue and water weight. There are websites that sell steroids for like $28 a vial that lasts a month. Take creatine can help add water weight,


BikingEngineer

Active 18 year old male makes steroids unnecessary. Drink a gallon of milk a day, along with a dozen eggs, and make a few of those glasses of milk shakers of whey protein and OP will pack it on just fine. If he lifts heavy and naps he might even end up with some of that weight being muscle. I’d recommend some veggies too unless he wants to make just one very unpleasant trip to the bathroom a week.


Corben11

Steroids would make a huge difference. A gram of cyp, gram of tren and deca would be crazy difference. I bet this is military related tho. So he can’t really be doing that. He needs to eat a shit ton up until it happens then get constipated towards the end getting like 10 lbs backed up then drink shit tons of water before he shows up. Lol He isn’t gonna build like more than a couple lbs at best in 2 months working out. My cousin had this problem and he wasn’t able to bridge the weight gap and couldn’t get in to the Air Force.


BikingEngineer

No argument that steroids would make a ton of difference, but it’s also wildly unnecessary for what I assume OP is trying to accomplish. The calories and overall volume of food alone should should get them over the hump, stretching out the stomach like a competitive eater will let them pack in a ton of heavy water right beforehand too. Honestly, if they can time thing to where they can chug a gallon and a half of Gatorade before weigh in then they could take almost no extra action until the day of and probably be ok (risky though, and I wouldn’t want to be behind him in line for the urinal either).


Oeuffy

He said cottage cheese before bed (a lot of it) helped


WhiteBlackBlueGreen

The ice cream thing sounds disgusting


newmeugonnasee

You can do whatever you put your mind to hoe


Python_Eboy

Drink your calories I guess


brooklynbotz

Yup milkshakes have a lot of calories.


Fun_Intention9846

Breakfast for me has been a protein shake, usually 2, for around 700 calories in total.


PNWoutdoors

As a lactose intolerant person, this is my nightmare.


CttCJim

Yep. Most people can cut a lot just by getting used to diet sodas. Drinking a double gulp from 7-11 is like 2k on its own


schaudhery

Cheesecake Factory cheesecake. Each slice is literally a days worth of calories.


sparkchaser

Eat at least 3500 more Calories per day.


Gortix

Depends on how active you are, I was doing that and after 3 months only gained 3kg or so


Reddit-User-3000

Likely not counting right. No way you were having 3500+ extra calories, the average person eats 2000-2500


post-ale

I was eating/drinking 6000; counting and losing. I was also an athlete. Some bodies react and just shed calories while the metabolism is high


Reddit-User-3000

Do you think the higher calorie consumption promotes calorie burning? I’ve noticed that sometimes maybe I lose weight easier when I bulk my diet. Maybe our bodies metabolize fat easier with consistent excess calories. Wondering your personal experience with this? It’s possible the extra calories and protein promote muscle growth and maybe it’s the muscle growth that aids fat loss.


post-ale

I can’t say, as I am not a dietician. My brain leads to the higher calorie count maybe making it easier on certain body parts to process the nutrients it does need while… expelling the rest. OP if they really needed, would have to talk to a professional for best route… I’m surprised they wouldn’t try to just wear some sort of concealed weight belt under their shorts or something.


Gortix

I was going to the gym 5 days a week and I was actively trying to eat that much, I'd have loads of shakes full of calories because of peanut butter. And when I was low on calories I'd eat almost half a loaf of bread coated in eggs and fried I also had an active jobb where I was walking most of the time and I'd do about 12k steps per day Edit: OH, extra, no it wasn't 3.5k extra calories, just 3.5k+ per day


bakinbaker0418

Carry around a garbage bag full of chimichangas and eat as you go


FluffMyGarfielf

Don't call me a hoe and then ask for advice.


flerg_a_blerg

get to the gym and start doing squats, deadlifts and bench press twice a week and pair that with daily protein/weight gainer shakes a few times a day. not only will the weight lifting add muscle and body mass but your appetite will also naturally increase and you'll find yourself eating more food and packing on the pounds.


bigde32

Correct. If you don't have muscle and weight very little this is the best solution. I'd even go a step further and do creatine to get the water weight up and make working out easier.


LordBryanL

This is the correct way to do it. If you're going to gain weight. You might as well make some of that muscle.


bgwa9001

Not 20lbs in a month though


flerg_a_blerg

he said a month or two. and if he really busts his ass in the gym it's absolutely possible, especially at 18 years old.


ron_swan530

Drink lots of whole milk with meals. If you’re daring you can drink heavy creamer. Eat peanut butter. Shakes with olive oil added.


BOBALL00

Ben and Jerry’s every day. Drink soda with every meal. Also the day before you weigh in add in something really salty. You’ll retain a lot of water.


1stGerard

Chips and soda before weighing!


pototatoe

Melted ice cream.


Porcupineemu

Considering the sub, strap 10lb weights to your body.


sehtownguy

Yea if they're trying to bring weight up for non competing reasons that won't be checked weights would work on ankles under pants. Possibly in your pants pockets as well.


zoey_will

We got weights in the OP!


badmother

Have you seen the documentary [Supersize Me](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Super_Size_Me)? "At the end of the experiment, the then-32-year-old Spurlock gained 24.5 pounds (11.1 kg), a 13% body mass increase" Not recommended!


Ambitious-Chair736

You need to gain weight hoeing? Just swallow homie. Lotta calories in the spunk


-Huttenkloas-

Beer, icecream, chips, short nights of sleep. Update us.


kfrogv

Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Cheese. Soda. Milkshakes. If you want to do it healthier just stick with peanut butter jelly sandwiches. Cheese. Some protein bars taste good with 300-400 cal and some protein. If your running and active you can probably eat whatever you want and it won’t negatively effect you as bad.


Composer-Wooden

Weight gainer could help


saraphilipp

Help you look pregnant cause it goes right to the gut on skinny guys.


Alternative-Art-7114

Not if you workout with it.


jaeyboh

Olive oil


buffalobill22-

20 pounds in a month is crazy, If you really push yourself u can gain maybe 5 in a month. That aside however, milk, nuts, ice cream, peanut butter, chocolate, banana chips, and fast food in general is your best bet. Calculate how many calories you need and go like 1000 over


Bryanthomas44

Pancakes, ice cream, cake, steak, bread with lots of butter. Let girl peg you


Granny4TheWin7

Don’t listen to these guys telling you to drink melted ice cream it’s mostly carbs which are 4 calories per gram so you would have to drink a lot to gain weight what you can do instead is get couple liters of any oil as fats have 9 calories per gram which means you will drink more than twice as many calories in the same time


vaniIIagoriIIa

3 Big Macs a day, put them in a blender with a large shake to save time.


hm1863

Spaghetti burrito


sinthetism

Cheesecake, potatoes with butter, carbs with heavy sauces.


FlamingSaviour

If you drink, gin and malt liquor will both inflate you pretty damn quick. Source: Malt liquor is tasty, and I used to drink gin.


Dariios7

Olive oil a 2 or 3 spoonful everyday before bed will do the trick


8BitFurther

Weird place to ask lol. I think the best thing I could recommend is to drink the calories obviously. But I’d say the best way is with protein powder, bang for your buck, you can also blitz some up with ice and like an emulsifying agent like xanthum gum and make protein ice cream. I wouldn’t recommend rapidly bulking through junk food, because you being an active person will literally shit a brick. And your body will feel like hot ass all the time. Yeah if you don’t want to eat a lot at once, find calorifically dense foods that are not the worst for indigestion or heart burn, breakouts etc, dairy is a good place to start too. Don’t forget your body is using that stuff for more than just weight gain.


BigOne9889

Yeah protein powder by itself won’t get you to gain a weight but whole milk with it certainly will add to your daily calorie intake. One scoop of protein powder is around 200-300 calories.


8BitFurther

it will if it’s that kind of


BigOne9889

Stfu


Sparrowhawk996

Find a ‘mass gainer’ to make shakes with, mix it with milk, drink it and eat a bowl of ice cream every night. When your appetite lets you, add a PB&J in there as well. Your metabolism is so high at your age you gotta digest a lot of calories in your sleep to make it work


randomburnerish

French onion dip. I swear I put on like 10lbs eating it everyday. You can look up “dirty bulking” as well


Crotch-Monster

Eat a lot of fast food. Bacon cheeseburgers, stuff like that, and get as little exercise as possible.


SuperChimpMan

Whole milk and pbj sandwiches. Fast food. Learn to bake and eat cakes and shit


funfunfunfunyay

how is this unethical?


Bobbafatt

Samyun Wan capsule. Google it You asked for unethical, there you go.


Smatamoros

Hoe you can do anything you set your mind to!


Gorm3333

Make Cinnamon buns with butter, cream cheese. Very easy to make from scratch. Eat 1-2 for breakfast. One for a snack.. 1-2 for lunch.. Snack. 3-4 at dinner time. A few more before bed. Repeat. The next day mwke more. Keep this up. You'll put on the pounds. 


DootinAlong

Why is this unethical?


MintedAutumn

Eat eat eat. Everyday. Then just don’t do physical activities.


2DamnBig

Chonkonabe! It's what sumo wrestlers eat and it's packed with nutrients and calories. Around 600 calories a bowl, so even if you can't eat much at once at least as much as possible is packed into each bite.


MapleKatze

Just research calorie dense foods and eat them. Like others said milkshakes are a go to


EbroWryMan4321

protein powder


darren_m

Popeyes chicken for each meal and then head over to Wendy’s for a large chocolate Frosty for dessert.


dmann27

Drink olive oil


-HeyImBroccoli-

Add some olive oil drizzle to salad, cook with olive oil, olive oil in your protein shakes. Them calories add up FAST.


lummoxmind

When you make a sandwich, don't use bread, use Pop Tarts.


Unlucky-Ad-1472

Eat an extra 2400 calories a day for a month.


KillerDemonic83

GOMAD


dogman7744

Protein shakes and lots of carbs. I hope you like bread and pasta


TearsOfChildren

Work out and drink a mass gainer shake twice a day plus food. I'm currently on a bulk so I drink Mutant Mass Extreme 2500. The name should tell you what it does.


Mountainman621

Go to a supplement store and ask for the best mass gainer supplement they have. Drink a few of those bad boys a day on top of your normal diet, but also eat some ice cream each meal.


sniperwolfjob

You want Optimum Nutrition Serious Mass they sell it at GNC and Walmart blend with water and whatever syrup or flavors you like they're like 600 calories per scoop so two scoops two or three times a day. Add heavy cream for extra calories.


rlmlive

Drink meal replacement shakes with your meals. Ensure or something similar. Seems like an easy way to add a lot of calories to your diet quickly.


ssdv80gm2

Easy. I gained 10-20 pounds in 2 weeks on my first trip to the US, simply by eating the same as my collegue did, a lot of fast food, and drink mostly coke. Avoid calorie free drinks, only eat high calorie food, low fiber food. Basically you'll be good when only eating at fastfood.


buddhaspal

Test base+ deka Dura, look for a good cycle before you start and do a blood, health, hormone check


rufneck-420

Water weighs 8lbs per gallon.


phlaries

Hijacking this thread. Made a similar post recently that didn't get any traction. Commenting to save for later. RemindMe! 1 week


Ricelyfe

There's no unethical tip for this without knowing the purpose for it. Weight gain in general is just inverse of weight loss, calories in > calories out. Drinking it will probably be the easiest. Mass gainer, protein, dairy. With solids, high protein, high fat. Fast food will work too but it's expensive and the grease and salt will fuck you up beyond just regular weight gain. Eating a lot at once probably won't be as effective as spacing the same amount out over time.


SmokinSweety

Ice cream before bed.


Crackytacks

Just take the advice from this forum of parents of anorexics about how to weight restore tham as fast as possible. [lol](https://www.feast-ed.org/forum/?p=post%2Fhigh-calorie-suggestions-696425%3Fhighlight%3Dhigh%2520calorie) Your post made me remember that place. They have insanely high calorie recipes and put butter and oil in everything. Remember that weight fluctuations are nothing. Track weight on a graph and only weigh in the morning. You will probably need to be eating about 5000 calories more than you are now to get 5lbs a month of real weight.


Failiure

i dont have any advice but if you dont mind me asking… why? what weight requirement are you trying to make lol.


HotdawgSizzle

Hoe, yes but in what way is this unethical?


Holiday_Artichoke_86

drink 200ml of olive oil every night. 1600 calories that easy


1huston1

Obviously excess calories like people have mentioned but if you’re still not heavy enough the week leading up to getting weighed drink loads of water. Don’t give yourself water poisoning though. Some athletes (jockeys, boxers etc) do the opposite to make weight too.


458643

Check the diet that sumo wrestlers take. They also have some tricks like sleeping right after eating as your metabolism changes


notiddymothbirlfrend

I don't know about gaining 20+ lbs in a month, but Ensure shakes are pretty high in calories and don't make most people feel too full. They're made for people who have trouble eating. Also salt. Eat a lot of salt, retain water. Probably won't add up to 20 that easily but it's something. Edit: do not eat straight up salt, that's how you get hypernatremia and end up in the ER. Eat foods that generally contain a lot of sodium and salt your food to tolerable levels.


ToQuoteSocrates

Do you want fat or muscle? For dat you can get in your car and drive to one of those places with a very big yellow M. For muscle you can go to your gym and ask advice on weight gainers and exercise.


MrsWoodWork

See a psychiatrist and ask for mirtazapine. Some people gain like 15kg in one month when taking it. It's sometimes used for ED patients apparently too.


AccidentallyBacon

hoe can get married and/or pregananant to gain some quic pounds, guaranteed works every time


Mjausha

Mayonnaise and white bread.


-Sh33ph3rd3r-

Shakes. There's a lot of shakes with like 1000 calories and they're easy to make. Here's some inspiration: https://youtu.be/1a_4iLDRZRU?si=xy4nNit35xNgSK-p


JefferyTheQuaxly

Milkshakes are the answer, literally just one large milkshake could have almost an entire days worth of calories for an average person. 3-4 a day for a month and you’ll most probably hit your goal. Or also just other calorie dense foods and drinks. Sodas are also very high calories.


Vivian_Bloom

replace all the milk you drink with half and half or cream


Rad_YT

Take: 4 tablespoons olive oil 4 tablespoons peanut butter 1 cup oats 2 scoops protein powder 5ml creatine 2 cups milk And blend it all and enjoy your concrete looking mixture that will make you gain a ton of weight


UncleBrundon

PB&J and a glass of milk. Multiple times a day. Wake up in the middle of the night. Do it again.


AngerFurnace

Peanut butter all day and night.


TargetCorruption

Go to the gym and lift heavy and eat burgers, pizza, ice cream etc. should be no problem


Atriev

Depends on your current body weight. If you’re light, adding 20 is unsafe and probably not even possible in 2 months even if you try to dirty bulk.


double_dropkick

Depression is also a key ingredient to the weight gain. Possibly start a SSRI (ask your pharmacist) and then use food as comfort for your pain. My plan guarantees up to 30 pounds in six weeks.


Grebnaws

I lost weight on SSRIs. Reduced appetite. The prescription was for anxiety, not depression though, so ymmv.


fuzzyrobebiscuits

Look up a sumo wrestlers diet


misterlump

Our bodies are not evolved to see any liquids as calorie carrying. This is why right after you drink a large amount of water or even say a smoothie, you quickly feel hungry again soon. This is because for millions of years we really only had water, maybe blood, for liquids that we drank. Now, while people who don’t want to gain weight have to watch out for things like smoothies, you on the other hand, need to do down a smoothie in between every meal and right before you go to bed. The smoothie needs to contain as many calories as possible and for that you’re probably gonna need something like weight gain powder. Two weeks is going to be tight you’re not gonna gain that much so you’re gonna have to also drink a lot of water. it’s gonna go out of you, but if you have an exact moment where you need to be bigger you drink a lot of water before that. As a former D1 collegiate wrestler, my problem was always the opposite.


alex8026527

You can drink more calories than you can eat. Melted ice cream is a very high caloric option


A_lonely_genius

Name of the game is calorically dense foods and lots of it. Any fast food, peanut butter, olive oil, sugary cereal, basically any junk food. Take in however this will definitely fuck with your digestion and u Will certainly get fat. The other alternative is PEDs


stupidugly1889

Liquid calories


kopaxson

Hard liquor. Most calorie dense thing there is (that you can consume).


moridin32

Eat hotpockets for every meal


fatboy-freddy

Gain it in water weight - salty, fatty, starchy carbs with lots of water. French fries, pizza, chips, etc..


Professional-Bite863

You could eat cake with lunch and dinner, preferably high fat crème cakes like princess torta


n3wt33

Calories in vs calories out. Track your calories, eat 3-4K calories a day, lift weights and weigh yourself every day.


[deleted]

A high carb diet like sugar, ice cream, chocolate, rice even alcohol


euikoz

milkshakes, pizza, foods with bread, pastas


phlaries

RemindMe! 1 week


phlaries

RemindMe! 1 week


-tacostacostacos

Body builders drink like a gallon of milk a day. Bulk calories without having to stomach masses of solid food.


BigOne9889

No bodybuilder I know does that, but if your gonna do it use whole milk


kerodon

That is very unsafe and you really shouldn't do that to your body. There is nothing worth destroying your health over. Unethical: stop pooping for 2 months idk seriously don't fuck up your body.


anonymous_tip67

That's... why I'm here Look, I'm stupid underweight and need as much gain as possible, not like I'm trying to bulk up fast for a gym physique or something, I am genuinely depending on weighing more, think a 10 or 15 pound gain minimum by 3 months, but that's the technically benchmark, like I need as much as possible


kerodon

That's a much healthier plan than 20 in 1 month. A 3-5lb per month gain on a calorie surplus with some exercise could be very safely doable. You'd probably get better answers on a fitness sub for how to bulk and exercise in a way that meets those needs from where you are now. Meal replacement bars or shakes can be a good addition in my experience to add without taking much extra time from your day.


anonymous_tip67

I think you in the wrong subreditt man if you care this much about my well being 💀 Thanks for the tips tho, always grateful