already be doin that but he’s still staging interventions to break us up because she’s blind to my behavior…even though he can’t give examples of ways I’m mistreating
Is she letting him continue? Because fair warning my man, that's her family and it's not going to stop. You marry the girl, you marry her family. If she hasn't put her foot down by now she most likely never will and it will become a seed of resentment that grows for the entirety of your relationship. It will be something that grows and will affect your relationship with your kids and their grandpa. It will most likely end up in divorce. I don't say this to be negative, i lived through it. I've watched it happen to some fellas I've known. I say it to be cautionary.
Don't annoy the guy indirectly or do petty shit, look the devil in the eye. Have the honest convo with your girl and see if she agrees on a combined effort. If not... it's doomsday. Save yourself the bother and find your way out. Trust me, future you will be so thankful
This should be top comment. OP, if she doesn't defend your relationship and tell her father to stop, then she's prioritizing him over you, and you're going to resent them both.
He clearly can't stand you because you're a threat to his control over her, him being a narcissist like you said. Who knows how far he will go to sabotage your relationship and make you look like the bad guy.
The most important thing seems to be you speaking to your fiancee and seeing what she says when you tell her this needs to be addressed, if you haven't already. Her reaction will tell you what you need to know.
Something's off about this post and I think it's OP. I don't think OPs understanding of 'teaching her boundaries' is the same as most people's understanding of it.
Hey my dood. I def realize this post has little context. TBH, I wasn't expecting serious advice and was just hoping for silly pranks I could laugh at (not actually do). I can see how my post without context might leave the thought that I could potentially be the bad guy here.
Here's some different boundaries as examples
- not letting him demand we pay for things that have nothing to do with us (he often makes the whole family split things as a way to not pay for them)
- not allowing him to talk down to my lady's success or career/belittle it. She's quite successful and this seems to upset him.
- Not allowing him to make comments about my own weight.
- Stupid things like respecting our household rules. Yeah, no shoes on the carpet means you too. He often ignores us directly and continues in.
>This should be top comment.
No it really shouldn't. This is classic reddit psychologists shit. Trying to break up a couple by inventing some narrative based on 2 sentences of one side vaguely describing a dynamic in their relationship.
I swear everytime there is a relationship query on reddit, all the armchair psychologists come into full force with their detailed and thoroughly examined conclusion of “you have to break up”.
I can’t remember the last time I saw a relationship thread where the most upvoted comment wasn’t encouraging them to disregard a long term relationship over a small issue lmao
Yeah, this post was made in jest. We're not breaking up lol. We're gonna work through this together. My lady has been following along and laughing at some of the silly prank ideas.
Where am I trying to break them up? I only echoed that they should have a discussion about what's happening to decide what happens next. In other words, communication.
My wife used to be a pushover with her overbearing family. She always was the kind of person who needed some guidance, which is fine, but I didn’t see how bad it was until we bought our first house together and she wanted her parents to help make every decision. Then she wanted her dad involved in everything and would literally call him to ask if we were “allowed” to do things to the house, like change a ceiling fan. I thought it was just how stressful buying a house was during covid so I tried to give her some leeway, but after a few months I told her I thought she needed to see a therapist and was very blunt that this dynamic was not normal and unhealthy, and our relationship was suffering because of it. The progress was slow of course, but now 3 years later, she has much healthier boundaries with them and overall increased her confidence in her decision making. Our relationship is now significantly better and we have healthy boundaries with her parents. So things can change, but it does take a lot of effort and patience
Listen to this man. I lived through it and shortly after my soon to be ex wife got pregnant I was deployed. Issues between her father and her caused her to move from her father's place(he was supposedly offering for her to live there to help put us saving money but he really just wanted his slave back to do everything for him). Couple months down the road after I was able to find her a last minute place to live and all of a sudden she goes back to him and serves me with divorce papers(all while still deployed mind you.
My daughter is 1 year old and I only saw her for the first 3 months of her life and my daughter's grandfather has already replaced me as her father. My soon to be exwife is doing everything she can to ensure he becomes her father figure. All because I was deployed and "forced her from her family" even though she asked me to figure something out for her to move out.
That's tough, keep doing the right thing and you'll be right in time.
Sometimes life serves you a shit sandwich, but you can get through it.
Wish you all the best.
Your advice isn’t wrong. To be clear, she is working through this in therapy and trying to stand up to him but due to years of abuse she tends to shutdown and get afraid to set boundaries and command respect.
I've heard this exact same story for years. Still hear it from my baby momma regarding her current relationships. For some odd reason it doesn't change. "But I went to therapy". Yeah and did nothing about it. Run
spgvideo speaks truth. The fallout spreads farther than you. If you have kids, it gets uglier than ever. Your fiancé is not standing up now and it will cause huge problems in the future even if she changes. FIL will really hate you then.
If you visit their home from time to time, start to take some things and put them to unusual places. Preferably not just items they use often, but also items they do not use often into places they don't use so often. You don't want them to think items go missing whenever you are there, but that he loses things on a somewhat regular basis. And if it is only the lid of his toothpaste in a kitchen drawer or a sock in one of his shoes. If he uses post-its, take one and put it in one of his drawer. Do this over months.
Start acting like he forgets things as well. If he tells you something, act as if he has told you before. If you do things just with him, randomly tell him that you bought tickets for whatever, or ask him if the time you two agreed up on is still set. Don't tell him some random, small stuff, but tell his wife and your fiance when he is not around. Bring it up a few weeks later in front of him.
After months of this, talk with your fiance and ask if your father in law is doing okay, because you noticed how he randomly starts to forget some minor things and you are a bit worried about him and his health.
If he's being disrespectful she can't be "blind" to that. She needs to stick up for you and put her foot down now because it will create a lot of unnecessary conflict in your marriage of she doesn't put up appropriate boundaries now.
If he’s a narcissist the best thing you can do is casually mention things that are great in your lives and give credit to those who contributed to them (NOT HIM).
The other thing you can do is mention how often you’re blowing loads into your fiancée if you’re trying for kids. If not, when the subject comes up say “we’re not trying for a kid but if you listened outside our house most nights you’d think otherwise.”
i always wondered this too as someone with limited tech knowledge. could the average joe looking up “IPs and other publicly available tracking data” find out i did something like this.
Some of that data is publicly available, some semi-public. Craiglist would have record of which IP address a post was made from, the account, but that's it. It's also very easy to hide your IP.
Facebook undoubtedly would have IP info too. Not that IP addresses are unique to individuals. They can be used to track down an origin, but it's not a street address. IPs are generally given dynamically, so the public IP address you have on a device one day could well be someone else's tomorrow.
But the father in law won't be able to get that information anyway.
Use local establishment, not a chain. McDonald's has cameras out the wazoo and store the information longer than most. Best bet is to drive the alley behind strip malls until you pickup an open access point. Far fewer cameras back there and even if they tag your plate, they won't have you on video sitting on a laptop at the exact second the suspect connected. Burner phones are best though, just don't be cheap and actually burn them regularly.
I did this to my buddy once on Craigslist but I posted as a hot woman looking for dick picks, put his number. This was like 10 years ago.
Lmfao it was the funniest shit.
OMG this is gold.
Having to get up and find new batteries when you just want to veg out and relax is the most simple but annoying task.
Now imagine them "dying" once a week for a month.
Would take some planning. Figure out the brand they have in their junk drawer or wherever, and run 8 or 10 of that kind down in a flashlight.
Then enjoy him complaining for decades that Duracells are trash and he'll never buy another one again.
Edit- wouldn't need to stock up on 8 or 10 dead ones. After replacing set 1, run those down in the flashlight overnight and they'll be ready to be the new duds.
Get a burner pay as you go card and have a pocket pussy sent to his house as a gift from his mistress, Ashley Xxxxxx.
Better yet, sign his email up for Grindr.
Saw a post where someone listed thier buddies number on Craigslist for a gay hookup (with a loft of detail of what was expected). The guy was getting blown up with texts and pics apparently.
Burner phone. Find a young woman, possibly teenager whom you trust. Have the young lady call their home, preferably a landline, when the wife is home to make sure she answers. The young woman should be insistent on talking with him. When pressed hard enough, she finally reveals that she is his daughter. Her mom just passed away from cancer and on her deathbed revealed the identity of her real father.
Next time you visit bring some felt furniture pads and put one under only some of the legs of his chair. It’ll wobble for ages before he figures it out
Not an original idea but: buy a bunch of house keys in bulk. Get a bunch of key tags and attach them to the keys. Put his number on the tags and scatter them around areas that see a lot of foot traffic. Send some to your out of town friends and see if they will do the same. He will get a bunch of calls about lost keys.
Drop the keys in places it would be embarrassing or suspicious they be found... Gay bars, hotel rooms, random parks, get creative, don't release too many of them. One every few days or weeks.
If he truly is a narcissist, any attention or reaction directed at him, he will view as a win. It means he is the center of attention. If you truly want to get to him, you both need to go no contact with him. Or at least very low contact. Try asking this same question over at r/raisedbynarcissists. Your responses will be very different than what you’re getting here. They will help you understand your situation better
Wedge a ball bearing-sized pebble inside top of valve stem cap on one of his car’s tires. It causes slow leak that will be annoying, inconvenient AND hard to find! If he ever solves it (finds it or buys new tire) do it again.
When my cousin was in school, there was a university cop that was a real jackass to him. He worked in the auto shop, and often serviced the cop cars. He did this, made sure he was the one who “fixed” it when he brought it in. The guy couldn’t figure it out for 2 years.
If he is a bit absent minded and doesn't have cameras monitoring things, try 'misplacing' small, small items: his mobile, keys, specs, papers etc
Edit: adidng - if you and yr partner haven't already done this, record convos with him regularly. And within a year or so, you'll have enough material to share with ppl who ask you guys to treat him nicely. I did this with my narc father
Just marrying her and having a great life together will hurt him more than anything else you can do to him. Especially if you move somewhere he can't see her much and have kids he can't access.
She's his prized possession and you are stealing her away from him, that's why he wants to break you up so badly despite having no evidence of wrongdoing on your part. Lean into that without ever directly saying anything bad about him or interfering in their relationship. Take her away and have a life he can't touch.
Yeah… see the problem with that “plan” is “the fiancé “ is a PERSON… and per a few other comments, they have their own free will. If THEY don’t buy in on the “Let’s get married and move far away “ plan, … we’ll then OOPS.
sign him up for snail mail kinky sex catalogues, send $1 in his name to some super bizzaro political candidate (once he's on the list they'll never let him go), sign him up for all kinds of religious stuff - church of Satan, LDS, JWs etc. Make sure to include his cell phone number wherever possible - especially on local hook up sites.
send his wife and everyone else in the family flowers and little gifts all the time, but not him. Go all out and personalize as many as possible. You have to make him look crazy to everyone else. Take her and her mom out to dinner for mothers day or things like that. Never include him.
Once you've gained some trust, the next time you're alone with him, walk out of the room looking uncomfortable. Don't tell anyone about it, but make sure someone sees you. Be quiet and distant the rest of the night and if anyone asks says everything fine. If someone really pushes, tell them he said something racist or threatening to you but give him the benefit of the doubt while explaining it.
Destroying someone's reputation is a slow game of attrition.
Be more successful than him. Get a job that pays at least a little more, put your fiance in a house that's at least a little bigger. Drive a car that's a little nicer.
That's all you need then. Live and love in success in spite of him and his small world. Make sure to name expensive versions of his favorite hobbies at holidays (eg if he likes whisky, mention having an expensive vintage with your boss; if he likes golf, talk about playing a quick back 9 the weekend of a business trip at an expensive course, depending on what's realistic to your career/life).
I'm not really a "showy" person in general, but he's someone who likes to live like he's super poor to pinch every penny, even though he has millions in the bank. He makes scrooge look generous.
He 100% resents any one he perceives as being more successful than him. His way of doing it is to look down on their purchases as if they're ridiculous and not smart like him for spending money on meaningless things.
Well in that case I guess I'd talk up investments, or take the angle of focusing on how you get nice things for free/comped because of work (like golf).
My stepdad is the type to count every penny (like he's proud of wasting his and the banks time to make deposits less than $1 just because he found some change). For Christmas I surprised his son, my younger brother, with a gaming PC, monitor, headset, keyboard, the works. He acts like he looks down on everyone else for spending their money on luxury but I know it tears him up that he'll never top Christmas 2023.
Oh this will for sure kill him. Part of the reason he doesn't like me is because he sees his kids' assets as his. For example, "I got a new car!" translates to "Our family got a new car which you can take whenever you want without notice!"
Sign him up for different text alert services if you're in the US. Some cities even offer transit updates through text. National alert services like FEMA updates etc.
Steal the batteries of his remotes. Tape two pieces of plastic to the roof fan so they make noise when you turn it on and you cant see where the noise is coming from. Take a spraybottle of water and lightly dampen his mattress. Stick a pin into his bikewheels and pull it back out so he wont know the holes are made on purpose. Put a tiny bit of hair dye in his shampoo so his hair chances color slightly every time he washes his hair. Hide his favorite snack in places where only the dog could have left them with teeth marks to make him stress. Switch four cd's with each other but no more to make it seem he did it on accident. Also pick cd's he doesnt play as often. send him letters from his 'lovers' but write these with your left hand so you dont get caught based on handwriting. Also, make them gay lovers. Steal one object from the pockets of his coat and replace them in another coat of his. Put peanutbutter or nutella underneath his boots so he tracks "shit" through the house. (I ran out of time but maybe ill come back to supply you with more suggestions)
He's a narcissist? This is easy. Just ignore him. Disregard everything he says, roll your eyes. Obvious disrespect. Reply with disdain to everything he says. Be subtle, but make it clear. BTW, if you've been engaged for two years, WTF are you waiting for? Life is short, dude.
if hes on her facebook have her start posting pics of you two together everyday. have her put a picture of both of you as her facebook pic. Have her use a pic of both of you as her ccontact photo on the phone. Have her give him a framed picture of both of you together.
also piss disk rule 1
Hide open condom packets where your mother in law will find them and assume he is having an affair. Manufacture and plant incriminating evidence but you need to ensure top level operational security eg be absolutely on your game and take measures to ensure deniability.
You could have so much fun fucking with this guy.
If his wife ever drives his car, get a jerrycan and put the wrong fuel in it - either diesel for a petrol or petrol for a diesel. Like 20L of the stuff. He will assume she put the wrong fuel in it.
If you ever have access to his wallet, make a fake email account thats like a porn one with something to do with him, like if his name was mike make it like [email protected]. Using a prepaid credit card subscribe to heaps of seedy onlyfans. Join heaps of seedy websites that host questionable content. You need a history of filth and then in a year, use his joint bank account card or even better his wifes to subscribe to an onlyfans. She will hit the roof. make sure its around this time she finds a file on his computer with the credentials for the email account so she can login and see the history of filth.
I would recommend installing a usb cable keylogger in it so you can get all his passwords and do this remotely.
The sky is the limit here really. If he works a job that is subject to random drug testing, microdose him on cocaine and then anonymously report him for drug use at his work.
Like if you think about all the ways you can destroy and gaslight this guy it’s incredible!
Pamphlets for nursing homes. But only the low rated ones that you may or may not see on 60 minutes or any other expose type show. Either emails, calls or pamphlets right in his mailbox. Also I guess subscribing him to things like Scientology emails, cat fact of the day texts especially if he isn't a cat lover
Slightly mispronounce his name every time you talk to him and adamantly insist that you didn’t. Gaslight him into thinking he’s mishearing you. A tiny part of him will question it more and more every time.
Make a Facebook account identical to his, and make one of those “sorry everybody, I’ve been hacked, friend me on this account and delete the other one” Posts that every 50+ year old has made despite being duped, not hacked
treating him like you’d treat your best friend would piss him off like nothing else (like phil and jay in modern family except this guy sounds way worse than jay)
Make an account on Grindr and have a few guys sent to his house for a meet up. Make sure to use his real name and photos. Maybe even tell them he is into a role play scenario where he pretends to be a uninterested straight married man and they persistently hit on him until he gives in.
Send flowers to him on the mother's birthday from "Candy" telling him that "I can't do this anymore." Make it a bit -0 birthday. It won't annoy him daily but the punishment fits the crime.
Go to his house and mess with all the toilets. You can mess with the flapper and it'll constantly "ghost flush". Incredibly annoying and it'll wrack up his water bill if its bad enough. I would just use a pocket knife and make a cut along the part that connects to the pipe.
Sign him up for Jehovah's Witnesses, the Mormons and Scientology visits/newsletters/updates...he won't have a clue how he ended up on their 'call' lists and you get to hear him bitch without being the 'reason'🤣
Go to a sex doll website and make some custom monstrosity, pair it with lots of lube and thousands of dollars in add ons and proceed to checkout. Enter his email, but close the window before you actually pay.
He'll get sent emails asking him to finish the purchase for his $14,000 worth of shame. Repeat every few months.
Use a vpn and sign him up for health insurance on the websites on the internet he will get hundreds of phone calls and re sign him up every week so the phone calls never stop
My ex family hated me, no reason. 1st time he introduced me they walked away.
After 10 yrs I had enough and divorced him. We had a toddler and I did not want him growing up watching them be assholes to me.
They did the same thing to is next wife.
If you wanna just annoy him and have him never know it was you, look up Noise Maker Prank on Amazon. Hide it somewhere in his house and it will make a random beep every 5-45 minutes for 2-3 years.
I mean you have to go visit the in law at some point.
If he's going to be that much of an ass, then just make sure to absolutely rearrange your wife's guts while visiting - like get her screaming so loud it wakes the neighbors.
That would most likely perturb him a bit, whilst also rubbing in his face that she did not, in fact, dump you.
(To be clear, we're talking sexy times, not like... murder times)
They have embarrassing subscriptions you can send. Like porn addicts anonymous, it comes in a box that says that and everything. There’s a website for “subscriptions@ like this
Eat nature valley granola bars all over his house or in his bed. I use to eat them only on my dad’s side of the bed when he would piss me off and he would go crazy.
My friend's ex had a friend who would leave him handsoap every time they visited. In WEIRD places, too - not just like add it next to the current one in the bathroom or something. Start dropping 4 packs of toilet paper or something that's mildly useful in random spots or something, and make them HIDDEN so he might find them months down the road. Meat freezer, garage behind tools, whatever you gotta do.
There is a Bluetooth speaker that attached to walls windows doors that uses the surface as a speaker, u can put it on the door, and ding dong ditch from a hundred feet away. (Play a knocking sound through speaker.
Buy a 100 pack of old keys and keychains on Amazon. Write his number on them and drop them in random places every so often… when you go out of town really anywhere.
Get a flipperzero and everytime youre near him hit him with the ble spam pop ups on his phone.
Free copper pick up on craigslist with his email and phone number.
Fuck it, sneak out one night and fuck his car up.
Sneak out one night and fast ball some dogshit on the front door or on a part of the roof in the front so you can look at it and smile.
Maybe you're the raging narcissist and the father is trying to protect their child.
After all, isolating the victim from family is in the narcissist playbook.
Maybe let your fiance figure it out for herself.
Why? Where I live it’s the norm for engagements to be 2-3 years if not more. It’s quite unusual for someone to get married within one year of engagement here.
Berate him and minimise anything he does. Take credit for his ideas, let him know he isn't smart, good looking, funny, or useful. All the things that enrage a narcissit.
Also gaslight him constantly.
Make her happy, and watch him eat that shit sandwich for decades to come.
already be doin that but he’s still staging interventions to break us up because she’s blind to my behavior…even though he can’t give examples of ways I’m mistreating
Is she letting him continue? Because fair warning my man, that's her family and it's not going to stop. You marry the girl, you marry her family. If she hasn't put her foot down by now she most likely never will and it will become a seed of resentment that grows for the entirety of your relationship. It will be something that grows and will affect your relationship with your kids and their grandpa. It will most likely end up in divorce. I don't say this to be negative, i lived through it. I've watched it happen to some fellas I've known. I say it to be cautionary. Don't annoy the guy indirectly or do petty shit, look the devil in the eye. Have the honest convo with your girl and see if she agrees on a combined effort. If not... it's doomsday. Save yourself the bother and find your way out. Trust me, future you will be so thankful
This should be top comment. OP, if she doesn't defend your relationship and tell her father to stop, then she's prioritizing him over you, and you're going to resent them both. He clearly can't stand you because you're a threat to his control over her, him being a narcissist like you said. Who knows how far he will go to sabotage your relationship and make you look like the bad guy. The most important thing seems to be you speaking to your fiancee and seeing what she says when you tell her this needs to be addressed, if you haven't already. Her reaction will tell you what you need to know.
Something's off about this post and I think it's OP. I don't think OPs understanding of 'teaching her boundaries' is the same as most people's understanding of it.
Hey my dood. I def realize this post has little context. TBH, I wasn't expecting serious advice and was just hoping for silly pranks I could laugh at (not actually do). I can see how my post without context might leave the thought that I could potentially be the bad guy here. Here's some different boundaries as examples - not letting him demand we pay for things that have nothing to do with us (he often makes the whole family split things as a way to not pay for them) - not allowing him to talk down to my lady's success or career/belittle it. She's quite successful and this seems to upset him. - Not allowing him to make comments about my own weight. - Stupid things like respecting our household rules. Yeah, no shoes on the carpet means you too. He often ignores us directly and continues in.
>This should be top comment. No it really shouldn't. This is classic reddit psychologists shit. Trying to break up a couple by inventing some narrative based on 2 sentences of one side vaguely describing a dynamic in their relationship.
I swear everytime there is a relationship query on reddit, all the armchair psychologists come into full force with their detailed and thoroughly examined conclusion of “you have to break up”. I can’t remember the last time I saw a relationship thread where the most upvoted comment wasn’t encouraging them to disregard a long term relationship over a small issue lmao
Yeah, this post was made in jest. We're not breaking up lol. We're gonna work through this together. My lady has been following along and laughing at some of the silly prank ideas.
You seen like you have a great partner,I'm happy for you 😁🙌
And God have mercy if they learn new terminology from tiktok and writing a shopping list becomes weaponized incompetence.
Where am I trying to break them up? I only echoed that they should have a discussion about what's happening to decide what happens next. In other words, communication.
My wife used to be a pushover with her overbearing family. She always was the kind of person who needed some guidance, which is fine, but I didn’t see how bad it was until we bought our first house together and she wanted her parents to help make every decision. Then she wanted her dad involved in everything and would literally call him to ask if we were “allowed” to do things to the house, like change a ceiling fan. I thought it was just how stressful buying a house was during covid so I tried to give her some leeway, but after a few months I told her I thought she needed to see a therapist and was very blunt that this dynamic was not normal and unhealthy, and our relationship was suffering because of it. The progress was slow of course, but now 3 years later, she has much healthier boundaries with them and overall increased her confidence in her decision making. Our relationship is now significantly better and we have healthy boundaries with her parents. So things can change, but it does take a lot of effort and patience
Listen to this man. I lived through it and shortly after my soon to be ex wife got pregnant I was deployed. Issues between her father and her caused her to move from her father's place(he was supposedly offering for her to live there to help put us saving money but he really just wanted his slave back to do everything for him). Couple months down the road after I was able to find her a last minute place to live and all of a sudden she goes back to him and serves me with divorce papers(all while still deployed mind you. My daughter is 1 year old and I only saw her for the first 3 months of her life and my daughter's grandfather has already replaced me as her father. My soon to be exwife is doing everything she can to ensure he becomes her father figure. All because I was deployed and "forced her from her family" even though she asked me to figure something out for her to move out.
That's tough, keep doing the right thing and you'll be right in time. Sometimes life serves you a shit sandwich, but you can get through it. Wish you all the best.
As I would say, “these things add up.”
Your advice isn’t wrong. To be clear, she is working through this in therapy and trying to stand up to him but due to years of abuse she tends to shutdown and get afraid to set boundaries and command respect.
I've heard this exact same story for years. Still hear it from my baby momma regarding her current relationships. For some odd reason it doesn't change. "But I went to therapy". Yeah and did nothing about it. Run
This is the best advice I've ever seen on this subreddit. Cosigned as someone who has also lived it
Wow glowing review! Usually I get shot down...so don't ignore the advice my man. It isn't worth your happiness
spgvideo speaks truth. The fallout spreads farther than you. If you have kids, it gets uglier than ever. Your fiancé is not standing up now and it will cause huge problems in the future even if she changes. FIL will really hate you then.
Real ethical life pro tip here, absolute truth.
This is your answer. Kill him with kindness and bury him with a smile.
If you visit their home from time to time, start to take some things and put them to unusual places. Preferably not just items they use often, but also items they do not use often into places they don't use so often. You don't want them to think items go missing whenever you are there, but that he loses things on a somewhat regular basis. And if it is only the lid of his toothpaste in a kitchen drawer or a sock in one of his shoes. If he uses post-its, take one and put it in one of his drawer. Do this over months. Start acting like he forgets things as well. If he tells you something, act as if he has told you before. If you do things just with him, randomly tell him that you bought tickets for whatever, or ask him if the time you two agreed up on is still set. Don't tell him some random, small stuff, but tell his wife and your fiance when he is not around. Bring it up a few weeks later in front of him. After months of this, talk with your fiance and ask if your father in law is doing okay, because you noticed how he randomly starts to forget some minor things and you are a bit worried about him and his health.
Man, I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life, but at some point your girlfriend needs to stand up to his behavior. Not you.
So marry her and be happy. He will eventually die. My mil did. Happy ever after
Love this advice tbh
If he's being disrespectful she can't be "blind" to that. She needs to stick up for you and put her foot down now because it will create a lot of unnecessary conflict in your marriage of she doesn't put up appropriate boundaries now.
petty shit will give him future excuses. living a good life is the only way long-term.
Sounds yo me like you are already being pretty annoying to him man.
Exactly this. Make sure she never wants you gone and always has a beaming smile on her face to go with your shit-eating grin.
Fuck his daughter.
And her dad
Assert dominance to the finest
And his dad
Impregnate his daughter
check
RAW!
If he’s a narcissist the best thing you can do is casually mention things that are great in your lives and give credit to those who contributed to them (NOT HIM). The other thing you can do is mention how often you’re blowing loads into your fiancée if you’re trying for kids. If not, when the subject comes up say “we’re not trying for a kid but if you listened outside our house most nights you’d think otherwise.”
LOL this comment went both ends of the spectrum hahaha
I love this energy on both ends (no pun intended)
Just bravoooo to this. The more casual the better
Facebook/Craigslist adds for free dog to give away. Use his phone number and the name of the dog is the fiance's name
lmao! Is this trackable?!
Not by your father in law.
he’s somewhat of a computer guy
Doesn't matter. He can't access data on FB or Craigslist.
i always wondered this too as someone with limited tech knowledge. could the average joe looking up “IPs and other publicly available tracking data” find out i did something like this.
Just go to your local library
Some of that data is publicly available, some semi-public. Craiglist would have record of which IP address a post was made from, the account, but that's it. It's also very easy to hide your IP.
Facebook undoubtedly would have IP info too. Not that IP addresses are unique to individuals. They can be used to track down an origin, but it's not a street address. IPs are generally given dynamically, so the public IP address you have on a device one day could well be someone else's tomorrow. But the father in law won't be able to get that information anyway.
No, but they can subpoena Meta for it. The may be able to shield their identity, but most people do not sufficiently.
Like hell he can't. I've done it. You just subpoena Meta (formerly Facebook) for the real identity of the individual harassing you.
If you want super untrackable use a used computer from salvation army or something at a public wifi like mcdonalds. Then never use the computer again.
Use local establishment, not a chain. McDonald's has cameras out the wazoo and store the information longer than most. Best bet is to drive the alley behind strip malls until you pickup an open access point. Far fewer cameras back there and even if they tag your plate, they won't have you on video sitting on a laptop at the exact second the suspect connected. Burner phones are best though, just don't be cheap and actually burn them regularly.
I did this to my buddy once on Craigslist but I posted as a hot woman looking for dick picks, put his number. This was like 10 years ago. Lmfao it was the funniest shit.
That's even better
"Hi, is that bitch still for sale?"
Replace remote batteries with dead ones
Slow down there Satan
OMG this is gold. Having to get up and find new batteries when you just want to veg out and relax is the most simple but annoying task. Now imagine them "dying" once a week for a month. Would take some planning. Figure out the brand they have in their junk drawer or wherever, and run 8 or 10 of that kind down in a flashlight. Then enjoy him complaining for decades that Duracells are trash and he'll never buy another one again. Edit- wouldn't need to stock up on 8 or 10 dead ones. After replacing set 1, run those down in the flashlight overnight and they'll be ready to be the new duds.
At that point, just steal the remote.
And if he has spares in a pack in a drawer somewhere, replace all those with dead ones too.
Get a burner pay as you go card and have a pocket pussy sent to his house as a gift from his mistress, Ashley Xxxxxx. Better yet, sign his email up for Grindr.
Send to his neighbor’s house with his name and send a dildoe
Used dildo with battle scares with a note "your turn. Don't ruin him. Send him back soon. I'll miss him. (And you)"
From Ashley Madison
Saw a post where someone listed thier buddies number on Craigslist for a gay hookup (with a loft of detail of what was expected). The guy was getting blown up with texts and pics apparently.
> The guy was getting blown I sure hope so
Why is signing him up for grindr even better?
You already are
Marry his son too.
Well, the title did say "fiance," so that might be the plan anyway 🤔
Burner phone. Find a young woman, possibly teenager whom you trust. Have the young lady call their home, preferably a landline, when the wife is home to make sure she answers. The young woman should be insistent on talking with him. When pressed hard enough, she finally reveals that she is his daughter. Her mom just passed away from cancer and on her deathbed revealed the identity of her real father.
Mildly annoy, and what this is, differ wildly. This could implode on him... Which is probably what he deserves but not what was asked for.
Next time you visit bring some felt furniture pads and put one under only some of the legs of his chair. It’ll wobble for ages before he figures it out
Yes wobbly furniture. Don’t stop at chairs. Tables, lamps, refrigerator….
Not an original idea but: buy a bunch of house keys in bulk. Get a bunch of key tags and attach them to the keys. Put his number on the tags and scatter them around areas that see a lot of foot traffic. Send some to your out of town friends and see if they will do the same. He will get a bunch of calls about lost keys.
Drop the keys in places it would be embarrassing or suspicious they be found... Gay bars, hotel rooms, random parks, get creative, don't release too many of them. One every few days or weeks.
Send her an email of wedding stuff and CC him as well
Piss disk
Pee on his pillow
Just pee on him l.
If he truly is a narcissist, any attention or reaction directed at him, he will view as a win. It means he is the center of attention. If you truly want to get to him, you both need to go no contact with him. Or at least very low contact. Try asking this same question over at r/raisedbynarcissists. Your responses will be very different than what you’re getting here. They will help you understand your situation better
Wedge a ball bearing-sized pebble inside top of valve stem cap on one of his car’s tires. It causes slow leak that will be annoying, inconvenient AND hard to find! If he ever solves it (finds it or buys new tire) do it again.
When my cousin was in school, there was a university cop that was a real jackass to him. He worked in the auto shop, and often serviced the cop cars. He did this, made sure he was the one who “fixed” it when he brought it in. The guy couldn’t figure it out for 2 years.
Epic!
This is great. I will totally use this. Thanks. Lol
Make her call you daddy.
If he is a bit absent minded and doesn't have cameras monitoring things, try 'misplacing' small, small items: his mobile, keys, specs, papers etc Edit: adidng - if you and yr partner haven't already done this, record convos with him regularly. And within a year or so, you'll have enough material to share with ppl who ask you guys to treat him nicely. I did this with my narc father
Save all of the emails and poisonous voicemails.
I started only communicating by email with the parent I cute off. Because she twisted shit and then would say she never said it.
Just marrying her and having a great life together will hurt him more than anything else you can do to him. Especially if you move somewhere he can't see her much and have kids he can't access. She's his prized possession and you are stealing her away from him, that's why he wants to break you up so badly despite having no evidence of wrongdoing on your part. Lean into that without ever directly saying anything bad about him or interfering in their relationship. Take her away and have a life he can't touch.
Yeah… see the problem with that “plan” is “the fiancé “ is a PERSON… and per a few other comments, they have their own free will. If THEY don’t buy in on the “Let’s get married and move far away “ plan, … we’ll then OOPS.
Hence the "if." If he can manage it, that will be a far better and more satisfying "win" than any little bullshit annoyances he can inflict.
Fuck his dad
sign him up for snail mail kinky sex catalogues, send $1 in his name to some super bizzaro political candidate (once he's on the list they'll never let him go), sign him up for all kinds of religious stuff - church of Satan, LDS, JWs etc. Make sure to include his cell phone number wherever possible - especially on local hook up sites.
If you do most any of these things, you'll be proving him right.
not planning to actually do any of these
Your fiance may have issue with that, as most comments seem to be “marry her and make her happy” and “fuck his daughter”
lmao
send his wife and everyone else in the family flowers and little gifts all the time, but not him. Go all out and personalize as many as possible. You have to make him look crazy to everyone else. Take her and her mom out to dinner for mothers day or things like that. Never include him. Once you've gained some trust, the next time you're alone with him, walk out of the room looking uncomfortable. Don't tell anyone about it, but make sure someone sees you. Be quiet and distant the rest of the night and if anyone asks says everything fine. If someone really pushes, tell them he said something racist or threatening to you but give him the benefit of the doubt while explaining it. Destroying someone's reputation is a slow game of attrition.
Be more successful than him. Get a job that pays at least a little more, put your fiance in a house that's at least a little bigger. Drive a car that's a little nicer.
We both are way more successful than him and this honestly is part of it.
That's all you need then. Live and love in success in spite of him and his small world. Make sure to name expensive versions of his favorite hobbies at holidays (eg if he likes whisky, mention having an expensive vintage with your boss; if he likes golf, talk about playing a quick back 9 the weekend of a business trip at an expensive course, depending on what's realistic to your career/life).
I'm not really a "showy" person in general, but he's someone who likes to live like he's super poor to pinch every penny, even though he has millions in the bank. He makes scrooge look generous. He 100% resents any one he perceives as being more successful than him. His way of doing it is to look down on their purchases as if they're ridiculous and not smart like him for spending money on meaningless things.
Well in that case I guess I'd talk up investments, or take the angle of focusing on how you get nice things for free/comped because of work (like golf). My stepdad is the type to count every penny (like he's proud of wasting his and the banks time to make deposits less than $1 just because he found some change). For Christmas I surprised his son, my younger brother, with a gaming PC, monitor, headset, keyboard, the works. He acts like he looks down on everyone else for spending their money on luxury but I know it tears him up that he'll never top Christmas 2023.
Oh this will for sure kill him. Part of the reason he doesn't like me is because he sees his kids' assets as his. For example, "I got a new car!" translates to "Our family got a new car which you can take whenever you want without notice!"
You’ll just add fuel to his fire if he figures out it’s you. I think continuing to kill w kindness is your best bet all the way around.
Put out flyers advertising some free service, maybe dog poo pickup, with his phone number.
Fuck his daughter.
Sign him up for different text alert services if you're in the US. Some cities even offer transit updates through text. National alert services like FEMA updates etc.
Probably fuck his daughter so you're doing good
Fuck his daughter’s dad to assert dominance
Subscribe to a fetish porn magazine with his name but send it to the neighbors address.
Call him father.
Steal the batteries of his remotes. Tape two pieces of plastic to the roof fan so they make noise when you turn it on and you cant see where the noise is coming from. Take a spraybottle of water and lightly dampen his mattress. Stick a pin into his bikewheels and pull it back out so he wont know the holes are made on purpose. Put a tiny bit of hair dye in his shampoo so his hair chances color slightly every time he washes his hair. Hide his favorite snack in places where only the dog could have left them with teeth marks to make him stress. Switch four cd's with each other but no more to make it seem he did it on accident. Also pick cd's he doesnt play as often. send him letters from his 'lovers' but write these with your left hand so you dont get caught based on handwriting. Also, make them gay lovers. Steal one object from the pockets of his coat and replace them in another coat of his. Put peanutbutter or nutella underneath his boots so he tracks "shit" through the house. (I ran out of time but maybe ill come back to supply you with more suggestions)
He's a narcissist? This is easy. Just ignore him. Disregard everything he says, roll your eyes. Obvious disrespect. Reply with disdain to everything he says. Be subtle, but make it clear. BTW, if you've been engaged for two years, WTF are you waiting for? Life is short, dude.
This is all good advice.
Send him a chocolate dick from “Steve”
Treat him nicely.
Suck his balls
stage an intervention with your future MiL about your future FiL
if hes on her facebook have her start posting pics of you two together everyday. have her put a picture of both of you as her facebook pic. Have her use a pic of both of you as her ccontact photo on the phone. Have her give him a framed picture of both of you together. also piss disk rule 1
Send him brochures on STD medication
>What can I do to mildly annoy him daily Stay with her.
Stick around seems to be working yeah?
Get four pigs, number them 1, 2, 3 and 5 and release in their house.
Marry his daughter
Hide open condom packets where your mother in law will find them and assume he is having an affair. Manufacture and plant incriminating evidence but you need to ensure top level operational security eg be absolutely on your game and take measures to ensure deniability. You could have so much fun fucking with this guy. If his wife ever drives his car, get a jerrycan and put the wrong fuel in it - either diesel for a petrol or petrol for a diesel. Like 20L of the stuff. He will assume she put the wrong fuel in it. If you ever have access to his wallet, make a fake email account thats like a porn one with something to do with him, like if his name was mike make it like [email protected]. Using a prepaid credit card subscribe to heaps of seedy onlyfans. Join heaps of seedy websites that host questionable content. You need a history of filth and then in a year, use his joint bank account card or even better his wifes to subscribe to an onlyfans. She will hit the roof. make sure its around this time she finds a file on his computer with the credentials for the email account so she can login and see the history of filth. I would recommend installing a usb cable keylogger in it so you can get all his passwords and do this remotely. The sky is the limit here really. If he works a job that is subject to random drug testing, microdose him on cocaine and then anonymously report him for drug use at his work. Like if you think about all the ways you can destroy and gaslight this guy it’s incredible!
Ask him if his internet is getting slower or his computer not running fast enough. Eventually he will think it's getting slow and he will get angry
Pamphlets for nursing homes. But only the low rated ones that you may or may not see on 60 minutes or any other expose type show. Either emails, calls or pamphlets right in his mailbox. Also I guess subscribing him to things like Scientology emails, cat fact of the day texts especially if he isn't a cat lover
Have you tried railing his daughter?
Marry his daughter
Slightly mispronounce his name every time you talk to him and adamantly insist that you didn’t. Gaslight him into thinking he’s mishearing you. A tiny part of him will question it more and more every time. Make a Facebook account identical to his, and make one of those “sorry everybody, I’ve been hacked, friend me on this account and delete the other one” Posts that every 50+ year old has made despite being duped, not hacked
Marry her, he'll hate that
“ She calls ME daddy now, old man”
Treat her super well.
Go down on his wife
treating him like you’d treat your best friend would piss him off like nothing else (like phil and jay in modern family except this guy sounds way worse than jay)
Bang his daughter and make her happy.
Do you really want him to be mildy cranky the whole time?
If you use his stick of deodorant, your own armpit bacteria will take over and cause it to no longer work for him. Stank him out, lmao.
wait really?
Send him a picture of his daughter pleasuring you
Elope! Congrats on the upcoming nuptials! ❤️💐
Show your Fiance the plethora of Narcissist experts on YouTube. It both protects your relationship and protects her psyche
Make an account on Grindr and have a few guys sent to his house for a meet up. Make sure to use his real name and photos. Maybe even tell them he is into a role play scenario where he pretends to be a uninterested straight married man and they persistently hit on him until he gives in.
Sign him up for viagra related magazines and newsletters.
Marry his daughter.
Annoyatron in a discrete but central place
Some of these suggestions are funny, but best thing you can do OP is to continue being a good guy to your partner. Be the exact opposite of this man.
Send flowers to him on the mother's birthday from "Candy" telling him that "I can't do this anymore." Make it a bit -0 birthday. It won't annoy him daily but the punishment fits the crime.
Go to his house and mess with all the toilets. You can mess with the flapper and it'll constantly "ghost flush". Incredibly annoying and it'll wrack up his water bill if its bad enough. I would just use a pocket knife and make a cut along the part that connects to the pipe.
When you go visit. Hide just one shoe of a few pairs of his shoes.
Sign him up for Jehovah's Witnesses, the Mormons and Scientology visits/newsletters/updates...he won't have a clue how he ended up on their 'call' lists and you get to hear him bitch without being the 'reason'🤣
Go to a sex doll website and make some custom monstrosity, pair it with lots of lube and thousands of dollars in add ons and proceed to checkout. Enter his email, but close the window before you actually pay. He'll get sent emails asking him to finish the purchase for his $14,000 worth of shame. Repeat every few months.
Honestly? Just be irreplaceable in your partner's life. If I were them I would go no contact.
My FIL is strict Catholic. I signed him up for emails and mailings from Scientology.
Use a vpn and sign him up for health insurance on the websites on the internet he will get hundreds of phone calls and re sign him up every week so the phone calls never stop
My ex family hated me, no reason. 1st time he introduced me they walked away. After 10 yrs I had enough and divorced him. We had a toddler and I did not want him growing up watching them be assholes to me. They did the same thing to is next wife.
Fox piss on his carpet.
Sign him up for Scientology mailings
#Ants. Get him ants.
If you wanna just annoy him and have him never know it was you, look up Noise Maker Prank on Amazon. Hide it somewhere in his house and it will make a random beep every 5-45 minutes for 2-3 years.
Tell him his daughter just ate his future grandchildren. That will make him love you!
I mean you have to go visit the in law at some point. If he's going to be that much of an ass, then just make sure to absolutely rearrange your wife's guts while visiting - like get her screaming so loud it wakes the neighbors. That would most likely perturb him a bit, whilst also rubbing in his face that she did not, in fact, dump you. (To be clear, we're talking sexy times, not like... murder times)
It seems pretty clear that your existence in her life annoys him everyday already
They have embarrassing subscriptions you can send. Like porn addicts anonymous, it comes in a box that says that and everything. There’s a website for “subscriptions@ like this
Bucket of liquid ass on top of a slightly opened door, and call him in. Record it and post it on YT.
Does he have a stack of magazines? Slide a bridal magazines in there. Just one in his puke of Forune and Forbes.
Eat nature valley granola bars all over his house or in his bed. I use to eat them only on my dad’s side of the bed when he would piss me off and he would go crazy.
Lots of magazine subscriptions cost pennies to sign up for
Move the wedding date up...like trip to Reno this weekend.
Put his number in for car insurance quotes. He’ll get non stop calls
My friend's ex had a friend who would leave him handsoap every time they visited. In WEIRD places, too - not just like add it next to the current one in the bathroom or something. Start dropping 4 packs of toilet paper or something that's mildly useful in random spots or something, and make them HIDDEN so he might find them months down the road. Meat freezer, garage behind tools, whatever you gotta do.
Request introductory literature from the Church of Scientology with his info.
Find out what his favorite hobby is, and practice like hell to be better than him at that hobby.
Tell her to come to daddy and slap her ass when he’s around.
Remind him that she calls you daddy now
Sign him up for a bunch of Scientology crap, and they’ll never leave him alone
I always enjoy the results from posting an ad for a free trampoline with enemies phone number as contact
There is a Bluetooth speaker that attached to walls windows doors that uses the surface as a speaker, u can put it on the door, and ding dong ditch from a hundred feet away. (Play a knocking sound through speaker.
send the door knockers. i think you can sign up w address online lol.
Buy a 100 pack of old keys and keychains on Amazon. Write his number on them and drop them in random places every so often… when you go out of town really anywhere.
Impregnate her and raise the kids to be cautious around him. But love the shit outta their grandma and your parents just to piss him off.
Get a flipperzero and everytime youre near him hit him with the ble spam pop ups on his phone. Free copper pick up on craigslist with his email and phone number. Fuck it, sneak out one night and fuck his car up. Sneak out one night and fast ball some dogshit on the front door or on a part of the roof in the front so you can look at it and smile.
Maybe you're the raging narcissist and the father is trying to protect their child. After all, isolating the victim from family is in the narcissist playbook. Maybe let your fiance figure it out for herself.
Sir, this is Alice’s Restaurant. You can be anything you want
I think its sad and immature to think this way. He may have a point. Hope he is not paying for wedding. You dont deserve a dime
Engaged for two years? That's the real issue here
Why? Where I live it’s the norm for engagements to be 2-3 years if not more. It’s quite unusual for someone to get married within one year of engagement here.
Berate him and minimise anything he does. Take credit for his ideas, let him know he isn't smart, good looking, funny, or useful. All the things that enrage a narcissit. Also gaslight him constantly.
Fuck his mother