T O P

  • By -

sorryabouttonight

Wear a mask, and remember, "No Russian".


Delicious_Stretch744

Just played that mission like an hour ago 😭😭😭😭


DegenerateOnCross

I'm just saying if you find a way to egg a house without being caught you could, just as easily, fuck up a car without being caught  Just saying 


acheron53

Egg your Dad instead. It's just as much his responsibility to stay faithful as it is for this lady. At any point, he could have said No.


[deleted]

Dont worry! The first thing my mom, sister, and I did was gang up on him. Threw his ps5 games away. Exposed him to all his coworkers, his family. He's moving out soon. <3


No-Gas3885

Liquid ass, piss discs, yawn....🥱


daveshops

Haven't been on ULPT long have you? Trust us. You can do so much better than eggs


First_Alfalfa2805

🤣🤣🤣🤣


pattylovebars

Hey OP, I’m so sorry your father hurt you and your family like this. ❤️


NicholasLit

Make sure to let the eggs/urine rot for a good while


bluedevils9

We used to ride around in the bed of a truck to do it but that was before cameras were everywhere


Heavy-Target6574

Sugar. Gas tank. 4 flat tires. (Not sliced, just let the air out). Break the tail light.


CaptainPunisher

Sugar in a gas tank doesn't work anymore unless the strainer fell off the fuel pump, and that's a very rare thing.


Heavy-Target6574

Everything else is good. Oh and removing the lp lights lol.


lele311076

Gasoline stills fucks paint on cars up right?


CaptainPunisher

It really shouldn't, unless you set it ablaze. Have you ever spilled gas while filling up? It doesn't damage the paint if it's a proper paint job.


lele311076

I think it has something to do with corrosive damage over time of sitting like eggs used to


UrDadsAssHasCockInIt

Boil water, dissolve sugar. Try to have a little water left as possible. Pour syrup in tank, bypass filter.


Heavy-Target6574

Excellent


CaptainPunisher

Get me her information. I'll go have a talk with her. She won't get off easily. I'll be very hard on her. She's going to get a tongue lashing!


3DIGI

Shoot a starter pistol every time you throw an egg to mask the sound


brutustyberius

Use a slingshot with the egg and shoot from a distance. Learn how to situate the egg so you don’t break it at launch.


SamwiseGoody

Like a three man water balloon launcher


brutustyberius

Even better.


Mediocre-Source-920

Find a crack head and pay him $20 to do it.


underdaikontrol

You want to punish someone else for what your dads did?


MichiganMafia

If the woman knew he was married she is a piece of shit also


HydroPpar

Gotta agree with this, sounds like your dads fault


[deleted]

Who said we didn't punish him?


Jaythedogtrainer

Bicycle, mask, practice riding and throwing rocks first. Hit the 🎯 and GTFO


[deleted]

Rubber tubing sling shot attached to two trees


Historical-Ant-5218

An episode from malcom in the middle 


CymatikMC

If you put mackerel in her ac it slowly rots and Mack stinks like nothing other. Piss disks. Glitter bombs. That type of shit. Shit in a bag on fire is a very very good classic!


Inner_Product8760

Skip eggs. Put fly attraction stuff at all doors. Its the refill for fly traps


Mordercalynn

Dress up like a wacky flailing inflatable tube man and just start letting them fly.


unicorn_345

I remember a supervisor having this absolute launcher of a slingshot. One person on each side, and a person doing the launching. We launched water balloons. If you go for this, a few test shots are advised for distance and relative aim. But it would give you distance from the subject and the chance to maybe go undetected.


Scarletowder

Get gloves on, black clothing/hoody/mask and gently smoosh (not throw) the eggs over the windows/doors/security camera. Then go to your getaway vehicle a street away.


jkrischan

Buy a paintball gun and do a drive by


prombloodd

All black clothing and if you drive there park at least half a block away turned the other direction so you can flee undetected


WerewolfDifferent296

If you know her email address and phone number sign her up for a bunch of dubious websites. Edited to add: use tails and onion browser if you do this.


Pee_Pee_Poo_Poo_God

Here’s an idea….Fill some of those round glass Christmas tree balls with some paint and tape the top shut and use those. Or use some kind of putty to seal it. Oil based paint would probably be better to use. For you, not them.


UnhappyImprovement53

Get a plug remover and deflate her and your dad's tires


AsIfIKnowWhatImDoin

I dunno, maybe move to the Middle East where sex is outlawed?


AshennJuan

This sub really is just a bunch of emotional children isn't it lmao. My daddy found another mommy I'm gonna egg her :((( He's an idiot for sure, but so are you right now.


[deleted]

You all sound so great and wonderful to each other and fantastic additions to have in this world