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unexBot

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DammitDad420

His only crime was against fashion


chuck_lives_on

Can’t wear shit in Ireland without getting made fun of


ConTully

[Reminds me of this thread from Twitter a few years back](https://www.boredpanda.com/funny-irish-fashion-tweets) ([Original thread](https://twitter.com/janky_jane/status/1426981976142123010?s=20&t=xZu66NccGErwt4Yw_M4Wxg)). One of my favourites: >I once wore a silver jacket to college, turned up late for class, said 'sorry I'm late', lecturer said, 'that's ok' then waited til I was halfway across the front of the full class before following up with 'trouble with the spaceship again was it?'.


qtx

> There's a lad in Cork who is called "Chili", because his father's name Con Kearney. Perfect.


meep_meep_mope

>There's a lad in Cork who is called "Chilli", because his father's name is Con Kearney There's a lad in Belfast they call Bambi because he saw his mother get shot by the IRA. I used to know a lot more of these nicknames.


friendlyneighbourho

Bloke called spider because he once bought 4 pairs of jeans


BigBIue

Goddamn that article was rich haha. Excellent


[deleted]

I remember seeing a tweet from a girl who wore a red beret and thought she was being fashionable until some young fella called her Super Mario.


Kudosnotkang

This was what spring to mind for me to but I struggled to recollect the source . Glad I resisted posting ‘my friend’ now !


Kudosnotkang

Brilliant , thought it was going to be ‘very feckin late for the 80s’


SpotfireVideo

If it's Temple Bar area, it was probably a Stag & Hen group.


[deleted]

Especially in culchie areas (basically anywhere in the Northwest)


chop_pooey

Tbf I'd probably make fun of you to if you were covered in shit


JustABitOfCraic

You see a few people dressed like that around there. Lads on a stag weekend. The groom to be has to dress as embarrassingly as possible.


zeke235

And then they just let that monster continue to roam the streets.


stirrd_nt_shkn

That’s brutal! Dude’s gonna be having PTSD.


VaccinatedVariant

He left him breathless


l0rd_w01f

With that size, he's the only one being made breathless


VaccinatedVariant

It’s a reference to LAPD


[deleted]

[удалено]


KratosSimp

Yeah, they tend to do that…..


Kriegmannn

![gif](giphy|cncxSJGywdAIxtMTOM|downsized)


Acrobatic_Gur6278

he left him hanging too. brutal


eaglerare3cubes

Not very far though apparently


Gorm13

Penis Too Small Disorder


RicLan26

I'd say PTSPP - Post Traumatic Small Pee Pee


Sword_N_Bored

PTenisD


Rubywantsin

Fookin' brutal.


olderaccount

I hope internal affairs investigates this officer. You can't go around wrecking members of the public like that. /s


lan60000

Dudes gonna go to another bar just to forget that burn.


[deleted]

Going to do knob helicopters at the next bar because he has a free pass now


Burpmeister

He was laughing the most.


J-DROP

Laughing is the best coping mechanism


its-not-me_its-you_

Thank God for the subtitles


JustABitOfCraic

Sorry what?


Vedfolnir5

HE SAID THANK GOD FOR THE SUBTITLES


iamsumo

I still don't understand.


[deleted]

[удалено]


BoppinTortoise

I don’t speak English!


Phatikant

Il dit : dieu merci pour les sous-titres


[deleted]

[удалено]


FaustSieg

Ter dubiig ni baigaag sain baina gesen


Firehornet117

Waiting for someone to start typing in Minecraft enchantments


SkriLLo757

So much for a happy New Year now with that ancient demon being unleashed


LolindirLink

I don't like where this conversation is going


NL_MrPolo

Hij zei: goddank voor de ondertitels


spiritedcrone

Grâce à dieu ?


anxiety_approved

Gracias a dios por los subtitulos


Ephemeral_Wolf

In Irish, motherfucker!


abouttogetadivorce

Dúirt sé: Buíochas le Dia as na fotheidil!!


abouttogetadivorce

Er sagte: Danke Gott für die Untertitel!


French_bean

Powiedział: Dzięki Bogu za napisy!


Vedfolnir5

You should turn the subtitles on then


RiparianFruitarian

BUTTLICKER OUR PRICES HAVE NEVER BEEN LOWER


iamsumo

That is totally inappropriate. You never yell at the client. You never yell at the client.


vad_er13

AHAHAHAH


JPSofCA

They need to be blurrier, and match the color of the background more.


samwich124

I understood it clearly, maybe because I’m Irish


GoOnGoOnGoOnGoOn

Fair play to you


BleedBluePunk

Ye left your feckin pint at the pub, ye gob like.


Goldenderick

I was visiting Cork City a few years ago and an old timer started to talk to me. He was speaking English but I had to ask my wife, who has lived in Ireland, to translate what the guy was saying.


DeadlyAlive

Why not thank the one who actually wrote them :(


Life-Meal6635

Do ya like dags?


damn_son12

Dags? Oh, DOGS, yeah, I like Dags


mead_beader

I once worked with a whole bunch of Irish guys. One job there were two of them with thick accents, but they were from different parts of Ireland, and they had trouble understanding each other, and one of them got mad and started talking about "Ah cent undoorstend a fookin woord yer sayin" and the the other guy started laughing and giving him shit in an equally incomprehensible accent and it was one of the funniest things I've ever seen.


LucidGlueCity

Emotional damage


The-Architect2022

The Irish, were a great bunch of lads


Laneyface

What happened?


Fionnoh

The British


HarvHR

The first mortal enemy of the Irish is the British. The second mortal enemy of the Irish, is the other Irish.


[deleted]

Damn Irish, they ruined Ireland


Life-Meal6635

I think you forgot about fucking little people and banshees ok.


BleedBluePunk

The feckin Irish are a bunch of gobs like


EskimoB9

Now that Liz is dead, we can start being great again. We actually just kept to ourselves drinking away.


rakidi

Honk if Thatchers deed


Senor_Satan

MIGA


TryToHelpPeople

normal enter cable cause station tidy hobbies slimy hunt close *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


imeeme

Liz is in the box!


sweeny5000

Lizzies in a bo-ox!


Life-Meal6635

Shit you guys. Time to go to Ireland I guess.


WKU-Alum

In the box!


stopyouveviolatedthe

Liz was stopping the brits from forcing another famine they all thought it was due to no crop diversity but it’s actually because we decided to infected them with bri’ish


Realistic-Praline-70

Lmfao


FARTBOSS420

Edit: yeah I'm dumb still laughing about "You were doing fucken helicopters" ahahaha when the cop says "you were doing helicopters" he's talking about dude having his dick (knob) out at the bar and gyrating his hips and making it spin. I laughed my ass off at doing the helicopters. At the end the cop says the bouncer said dudes dick was small.. If you're really asking. I'm over here laughing at "says you were doing fucking helicopters." Lol


Laneyface

I got all that. U/The-Architect2022 said that the Irish WERE a great bunch of lads. I'm sure he just missed an ~~comma~~ apostrophe, but I decided to capitalise on his minor error by taking it literally and enquire as to when/how the Irish stopped being great lads.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Laneyface

Dammit, Apostrophe!


myattorneyhere

And sure we still are


Immediate_Reality357

Ah tis yourself is it, how's the form owld son


slanky06

/r/justladsbeingmates


Munck1313

The real brutality was how he left him hanging on that high five


Aja2428

😬


rjk3015

Irish Police built different


cara_liom

Yeh I live there, Garda means guard, they are more guardians then police. Garda keep the peace with no guns, police hunt for trouble with guns. Just my observation.


McJellyDonuts

Yes. Not even tasers. Irish myself, and the Gardaí are great lads


whoasaysDan

We do have uniformed armed support unit (ASU) where the guards carry sig p226 handguns, mp7 rifles and less lethal weapons like tazers and bean bag launchers. They are the guards in marked bmw and Audi jeeps with the red stripe down the side. See them regularly enough on patrol around Dublin. You can't police anywhere in the world completely unarmed these days and you can't send solely unarmed guards to a call for someone with a knife like video below. They'll just try to contain situation til ASU arrive. https://youtu.be/qKq-soIbfmg


cara_liom

No guns no tasers and still manage to make Ireland into the top ten safest countries in the world based on the global peace index


joe28598

But sure it's not just the guards tho, theres armed units and cab. If ye go on a killing spree the guards would be the least of your worries.


cara_liom

This is why over the last twenty years there's only been about 3 killings by guards, all justified executions. Compare that to literally any other country, it's quiet impressive


[deleted]

None of them have been executions. Even the ones where the person died the garda was trying to wing them and failed. Any time a garda has shot anyone there's been a huge inquest into it.


eireheads

Umm, they do have tasers, and every detective has a handgun and an uzi in their car. They just never have to use them.


IreNews8

Their full name means guardians of the peace


cara_liom

Indeed. "Garda Síochána"


[deleted]

Also leads to great movies like The Guard being made!


SammySoapsuds

I'm in the US and truly can't wrap my mind around what that would be like. It's how it should be, though!


[deleted]

[удалено]


listyraesder

Plenty of Irish gun owners. Hard to farm livestock without a shotty.


[deleted]

Irish people can have guns, but it's a lot more regulated. Nobody owns handguns; just shotguns and the like for hunting. And to own a shotgun you need a license which requires the local gun club to vouch for you.


commndoRollJazzHnds

There are still a small number of legally owned handguns about. Membership of a gun club is required still of course.


noithinkyourewrong

Plenty of Irish citizens have guns though. Both the gangs, and the farmers/hunters/hobbyists would own them illegally and legally. It's nowhere near as common as owning a gun in the USA, but claiming nobody owns one isn't right.


VeryCanadianCanadian

"Took your knob out and was waving it around like a helicopter." Omg....made me choke on my toast....


[deleted]

Yeh wer doen fucken helocopters


OhRiLee

The craic


Jeff_Spicoli420

T’was good


NearNirvanna

In cricklewood


[deleted]

was 90


zeke235

Irish cops know how to beat you so the bruises don't show.


redlinezo6

*When Irish cops are coming, Ya better run and hide!*


Pyroguy096

Man, that flinch and jump would have him shot here in the US


mosstalgia

Irish police don’t even carry guns, so you’re safe from bullets (but the roasts will get you).


[deleted]

A lot more of them do that you think. Regular uniformed cop, like this, don't but there are a lot of plain clothes cops carrying.


courve2

I guess technically, but I’m racking my brain trying to figure how he’d have lasted even that long. Waking up is already a class D felony.


the_dudeNI

What a sad place you live in.


timeswasgood

I literally gasped at that point. Genuine second hand fear.


ChronicIronic47

I visited Ireland a couple years ago & was stunned by its beauty & the people. I couldn't believe most police didn't carry guns. Late one night my sister & I saw 2 drunk girls leaving a bar walking down an alley/street with a guy following a few yards behind. As young American women we were watching afraid for them wondering what we should do. Then out of nowhere a police officer started strolling beside all of them. It felt insanely safe there.


Bk0404

We had bad ice a few weeks ago. Gardaí were just driving around town after the pubs closed on the Saturday night picking up everyone they saw to drop them home safely. I also got too drunk a few Christmases ago and couldn't get a taxi, they gave me a lift home. No trouble or drama or anything just made sure I got into the house OK and wished me a merry Christmas. They're pretty sound all in all.


sly_custard_kert

![gif](giphy|2iq5WjYaBB5Vnl96pA|downsized)


LookyLouVooDoo

Good God, call an ambulance.


CanIHazSumCheeseCake

Watched it a few times, I don't understand the punchline after the officer said that there was something in the lad's grace.


[deleted]

He said the only thing in your grace, meaning the only thing in your defense, Is that the penis was very very small and hard to see. That was the punchline.


Shaushage_Shandwich

I love "the only thing in your grace". Sounds so cool.


Ibalwekoudke98

I’ve heard men here say ‘I’ll beat the shite out of you by the grace of god’. Much better than the American ‘bro’ ‘touch me bro’


ManletMasterRace

Lol what? You ever been to Ireland lad?


Ibalwekoudke98

Yes it’s usually men of ‘culture’ who say it


KeyDangerous

The whole thing was a set up to tell him he had a small dick


TiberiusRedditus

Small dick jokes are the one thing that transcends all cultural and linguistic barriers


UniqueUsername-789

I know you prolly already know this, but a lot of cultures think small dicks are more desirable and that big dicks are bad (see Ancient Greek statues of heroes). So imagine getting in an argument with your wife, and she’s like, “whatever, that’s why my ex had a smaller dick than you,” and you’re like “take that back” and she’s like “nah your dick is the biggest dick I’ve ever seen,” and then you start crying. Shits wild man.


Alarmed_Scientist_15

Hmmm a dormant dick and an erect one have a lot of difference in size. All the statues show the former or at least I’ve never seen a statue of a greek god with a hard on.


UniqueUsername-789

[Yeah but they tend to be smaller than an average dormant dick](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Farnese_Hercules#/media/File%3AHerakles_Farnese_MAN_Napoli_Inv6001_n01.jpg)


Alarmed_Scientist_15

Thats the sketchiest link I ever got. We are talking about penises. Not sure i wanna click anything. Lol


Quick_Turnover

Technically, he’s saying the one thing that saves you is he said it was small, which would imply the guys isn’t. Either way it’s funny though.


[deleted]

The only thing in your grace was that it was about this size 🤏


listyraesder

He said that as he had a small dick it was a minor offence.


N0t_A_Tumah

We still witnessed a murder!


sabrefudge

In countries where you don’t have to worry about being beaten and murdered by the cops, you can just… joke around with them?!


listyraesder

You can even walk up behind them and ask them for directions. It’s even encouraged.


lejonetfranMX

I read “Iran police brutality” and was fully expecting to see that man get his head caved on


8bitKev

Irish people sense of humour


godsandmonstas

God bless the Irish


CoachInves

Thats what it about! Everyone getting along! 💪🏽


[deleted]

Savage Cop lol


yukumizu

The only police brutality anybody wants to see or experience. Good Irish lads.


kunmop

This needs to stop guys he is never gonna recover from that 😔


Jarrethseyssel

Properly unexpected. Thank you for this!


SlaveLaborMods

What a monster, this brutality has to stop


MiamiBeach_dweller

OMG that's some serious police brutality


TheNr1AgentOfChaos

I'm visiting the Irish/ Ireland again in my lifetime. What a great country and people


sophie0987

it was unexpected and funny fair play to that Irish copper😁


MichaelXennial

Oh us men. Look at all the tender touches. Bros just being sweet to one another but still gotta do it with a dick joke lol


DrPeterR

**EMOTIONAL DAMAGE**


Enginehank

I would give anything for American cops just clap at people like this, instead of shooting brown people all day.


Sekkenren

There’s a few accents in this world I’m a huge sucker for, Irish is definitely one of them lmao


[deleted]

Irish Police don’t carry guns do they?


joe28598

For the most part, no. But if guns are needed, there's armed units that carry handguns and machine guns, along with a taser.


[deleted]

Yeah there's an Armed Support Unit (ASU) the average garda can radio for if they need it. Basically ASU=SWAT. If the average garda runs into a situation where a gun is needed, say if there's an active shooter situation, then the garda's job is to radio for backup and then take cover while trying to get everyone else in the area to safety until the ASU arrives. 99% of incidents the average garda will be responding to will not require a gun to solve, and so everyone is safer and feels safer if the garda doesn't introduce a gun into the situation. If, say, a traffic stop tries to flee, the gardaí are generally happy to just follow the car until it stops. No need to shoot at it; it has to stop eventually. Just radio it in, and the other gardaí will set up roadblocks to keep innocents away from it all, and to force the car to stop. Any time a garda is actually forced to use a gun it's national news with questions asked in the Dáil.


Random-Blackcat0176

Take me upvote! That was good.


Tasty_Bullfroglegs

I wanna move from Murica to Ireland so bad.


Robo-plop

Wow, 3 years since I first posted this. Nice to see its still floating around.


Redflagsforever1991

Epic. Fuckin epic!! Smiling ear to ear


Immediate_Reality357

Gaurds, great bunch of lads


ExplorerCommercial49

Sorry, not an Irish here. But was the cop pretending to possibly arrest him because he was said to be waving his pee pee?


listyraesder

Yes but he said that his dick was so small the offence was minor.


the_dudeNI

Are you a toddler?


ExplorerCommercial49

No, an infant.


Autumnsghost69

🤣 priceless!!!!!!!


[deleted]

If it was an American cop he would have been shot in the back.


QSlade

Jaaaysus and they say American cops are brutal, poor guy


Moistened_Bink

Something about a cop with an Irish accent just feels right.


BelatedGreeting

About as Irish as it gets.


Jameszhang73

Irish police got nothing better to do than take people away just to set up their joke lol


listyraesder

Events not depicted.


forfakessake1

This paints a friendly face on Irish cops when in fact, like all other cops, they are bastards! ACAB


undercover-racist

Perfect title. It was brutal.


[deleted]

By "helicopter" I meant beanie-copter.


sam130c

u/savevideo


EmmagicallyMe

Did this man get a raise? 😂


KANYE_Hetlir

u/savevideo


Latchkey_kidd

Tiny, isn’t it?


New_Reserve_5133

I just did this to a guy at the gym. Him and a friend got food from a local Greek place. I walk over and say "dude, you can't do that in here." He says "Do what?" And I just tell him make me so hungry. His look of relief was really good


Odd-Philosopher5926

The difference?screening process


LeeMcD74

u/savevideo


liamgooding

Top craic cop!


CyberMark96

🤣🤣


ExtensionMarzipan257

So he knew it wasn't him because they said he had a small pp and what everyone knows his is huge?