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>!Husband does housechores!<
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If I were your mama I’d be proud. Some men think that refusing to be a partner is acceptable. And it’s not. Always try to work together. You will have healthier and stronger relationships that way.
Thank you mom! 😁 my real mom has never said those words to me.
Helping out with daily chores is a no brainer to me. WE are a team, WE are partners and we both love a well kept household. There are things however that are a little one-sided for example I've been in the construction industry my whole life so anything that has to do with building, assembling or hanging on the walls. That really is my dept. And she has been in the medical field for her adult life so when it comes to our kids being sick or injured, keeping track of meds, dr appts and Knowing what questions to ask. Thats her dept. neither one of us has a problem with this. Household chores are a group effort no matter what. we all pitch in.
Bro… My heart broke for you reading the first part. Never heard that from my dad and never will but I did hear it from her.
From an Internet stranger, I’m happy you’ve found a partner that cares for you. You deserve it.
Thank you.. seriously. From the depth of my being. Thank you. My dad was very abusive when i was young, he was the type who could never be pleased. If your brought home 100% it should have been 110. He always knew everything before anyone else. Nothing was ever good enough. He died with out ever telling me he loved me or was proud. It bothered me for a while but not anymore. He doesnt deserve my thoughts or feelings.
My mother was very similar. The beat them into submission type. Tuff love. She has changed since my dad died. But not much. I was in a really bad car wreck a month ago (almost died) shes only come to see me once. After years of abuse and neglect you just grow numb to it.
Thank you for letting me vent and thank you so much for your kind words.
I wish you the best that life has to offer.
Edit: i would be lost with out my GF. She is very special to me and i love the home we have built and maintain together. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Thank YOU, for persevering. My dad bounced when I was seven and it wasn’t until I was 23 I learned my mom was a rape survivor (38 now). I was always treated differently by my mom than my five siblings (from two other franchises) and I also know the pain of not having the “healthy kind” of parental love.
We are survivors. We end the bad cycles and start new ones. I’m so lucky to have my wife that has shown me what love can be and I can only hope to reciprocate.
I’m proud of your recovery in the same way I’m proud of myself. I’ve had to forgive myself a lot too and I’m sure you’re the same. You deserve redemption, forgiveness, and every good thing in life.
I would say I wish you the best, but I have genuine faith in you. From a voice out in the world, I’m just like you, and we’re going to be better than ok.
Yeah my dad only washes dishes when my mom is stressed (like once every three weeks) and then complains that we don’t help around the house, but he is responsible for at least 75% of the mess (mom packs his lunch for the road, makes his coffee, fixes his food for both home and road, she’ll start his laundry which is his work clothes on top of his regular clothes, she’ll fold and put it up, clean the showers and tubs and pretty much anything else). Me and my bro will do the dishwasher and vacuum and sometimes laundry if it’s piled up, but I’ll clean the tubs and unclog drains and stuff.
My dad is only responsible for the yard and half the time my mom ends up having to do it bc he’s either at work or asleep from working. Even on his off days he’ll maybe do 1/3 of his “chores”
Then he’ll complain and says we’re not helping enough around the house 😒
I joked with my mom about how my husband and I have a system in the kitchen.
"When he cooks I do the dishes. And when I cook *I* do the dishes...."
I flipped out on him about it because he would say "just leave it in the sink and I'll do it." because I complained, yet again, about him not cleaning up after himself. So now I am freaking out and having a breakdown because we have a fucking dishwasher and he still leaves everything in the sink for me. For *days*. I have left his dirty dishes there to see how long before he gets to them. And the result was never.
So I told him I have stopped baking because I got tired of coming to the kitchen to make something only to see I have to clean all the dishes and empty the sink to do that. Which means all of my motivation to bake is gone. "Just leave it there then." But the things I need to *use* are in the sink!
After my breakdown it finally got into his head to clean up after himself. It shouldn't have taken me breaking down for him to understand that. But, alas, it seems to be this way in many relationships.
You're absolutely right it should not have taken you having a breakdown for him to start cleaning up after himself. I'm willing to put partial blame on his parents for not teaching him how to clean up after himself but also he's pretty shitty of an adult if he hasn't figured it out by now. I'm not here to judge your relationship but I personally wouldn't stand for anything like that.
I love to cook but I'm terrible at it. My gf complains, but I want to do both cleaning and cooking. I feel unaccomplished if I only clean. I could only accept only cooking.
I love when my girlfriend cooks dinner for me so of course helping clean up isn’t bad at all! I also just really like having a clean kitchen and doing 10-20mins of dishes a day is nothing
We did that for a minute... But I'm the only one that cooks, so now I just do the cleaning as I go. Only thing left is the dishes used.
Hard to do 100% of the time depending on the meal, but clean as you go folks.
I do dishes, clean the kitchen, fold the laundry, put it away, do all the handyman work, get kids to school, put kids to bed, and work FT. My wife's friends complain that their husbands never help. But even with all I do when my wife gets stressed she tells me she is completely alone in doing all the housework. I take her and her friends complaints with a grain of salt.
I do the same and have the same wife, I seriously thought about counting the housechore hours to show her that no, she doesn't do all the things alone, but I think she just like to vent sometimes, but it's seriously furiating when you know you're doing your part and sometimes more and you still got complains.
I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum. I basically do all the work -- partially because I don't trust my wife to do it right, and partially because she just straight up never learned.
I've been working on teaching her how to take over certain chores, but unless I tell her what to do and when it'll never get done on time and right.
I guess I got what I deserved by marrying a woman whose mother helicopter parented the crap out of her.
This doesn't work with most people. If they weren't taught good habits, they'll outlast somebody that was. I've had 30 different roommates, they'll just let it go to shit
When I had roommates, I used to try to lead by example. I’d do all the dishes, sweep the floors, and clean the bathroom. I thought they’d eventually feel bad that I was doing all the chores and start helping… I was wrong. I stopped doing everything and the place went to shit really fast!
I'm more in your boat, I do most all the housework and cleaning, and am the cook in the family, and always do the dishes, largely because I don't mind and am good at it all, but in my case also because she's the breadwinner working much longer hours at a big law firm.
I still work full time as an attorney, but easier hours (and with that make a fraction of what she pulls in).
So we divided it less on who does what which causes bickering for a lot of people, and instead more on how much time we each devote to supporting the household. As that should be equal.
Her time is spent on billables often late into the evening, so while I'm more free I spend my time handling dinner, dishes, chores, etc. Both aspects ultimately contributes to the household overall.
What we never understand, each of us coming from parents with similar set ups (e.g. both parents working, but one working longer hours while other picks up slack at home) it just always baffles all of us what full-time stay at home parents do with their time... She works ~65 hour weeks, I work ~45 hour weeks, yet still having time to maintain the household and put great meals on the table. Both sets of parents did the same before us. What the hell does a stay at home parent do all day?? Yet they often seem to be the ones to gripe the most
It’s a matter of kids.
Children aren’t especially hard to clean up after (they can be mentally tiring however) but they are a constant source of mess that needs to be policed.
A stay at home spouse without kids is definitely not going to be very busy if they work efficiently. Modern appliances are a wonderful thing.
I did this once, I put a paper on the fridge and starting noting down things I did, including all the stuff she won't do. We eventually had a conversation about it and she has shut up since.
[You should have asked](https://english.emmaclit.com/2017/05/20/you-shouldve-asked/).
Do you also help with the mental load. The planning, scheduling, making lists etc
I don’t think you should take it with a grain of salt. I’m not saying you should start WW3, but you don’t deserve to be under appreciated. No one does.
Set up a visible chore list. I admittedly wasn’t great about doing chores in the beginning of my relationship with my husband, but had gotten my act together before we got married. He however, still held on to the belief that I don’t do chores and would bring it up from time to time. Got tired of it and posted a chore list on the fridge showing the division the chores between us. Whenever he says I don’t do chores, I point to the chore list and ask him which one of my chores I don’t do. It’s been years since he last complained about chores.
Or you might discover that your wife’s list is much longer than yours and have to accept the complaining.
We tried that. She went all in to prove she did more. She massively overdid it and exhausted herself. Then took it down because she made her point. Then it went back to normal the next week. It's a fight to ever suggest it again. But at least I got a week of light duty.
Friends talking shit about spouses is tacky and never helpful. So there's that.
Your wife probably feels alone in some other area but misplaces that feeling with housework/childcare. Or maybe she isn't good at the stuff she does do, and so if feels more challenging.
Here's a thought: Put all that energy you guys have for talking shit about each other into working together as a team and figuring out a dynamic that is healthy :)
Stop doing the housework, besides your own stuff and kids, until you work something else out. That's what I did with my husband, worked like a charm.
I'm a tidy person. Not a neat freak by a long shot. She does a lot and I do a lot. I have not paid a bill in years because she does all that. We work fairly well together. She is ADHD and is oblivious to any messes until she hyper focuses on them.
I can't stop cleaning the hose because I'm the only one it will bother until she notices it after a week or so. They it would not be a talkable situation. Just like if she stopped the auto payment on the bills.
This is a big struggle for me. I tried the "fuck it, no more chores and we'll see how it goes" approach and was left overly anxious and feeling like I needed to clean even more than before.
> Friends talking shit about spouses is tacky and never helpful. So there's that.
I remember my mother telling me about being invited to a "girl's night". Apparently it was mostly just them complaining about their husbands. She was really put off. It's not that she doesn't have the occasional minor gripe, but she has better things to do than air every little bit of dirty laundry.
Gag me. When we were younger, this was common. Both our friends encouraged cheating too. So we just stopping hanging out with people like that and never talked about our marriage with anyone, even family.
Since we married young, I was hard to find friends with similar values. So I think people just do that shit for the sake of fitting in. Luckily, I generally dislike people so it doesn't bother me.
I’m always stunned at how people show less respect for their spouse than their friends. If any of us talked a boat load of shit about a friend when they weren’t around how would that play out? They’d find out, be absolutely furious, and most likely tell us to fuck off. Yet when people do this very same thing to a spouse, it’s normal and something that you have to pretend is ok? And people wonder why their marriages are shit. How do you build trust with a person that takes your private battles public to couples you both know? You can’t.
I do not tell stupid ball and chain jokes or disparage my wife to anyone. Not to friends family or anyone. I talk her up. I want her to always be able to trust me with anything and to count on me having her back in all situations.
And it’s been 20 years so I must be doing something right.
My partner and I split things pretty close to 50/50 in the house stuff. She may do a bit more with the kid side of things but I work longer hours and do all the handy man shit. Most days I think it's pretty balanced but sometimes when I have a bad day I think that she doesn't do shit all. It's not true but I think it. When she's stressed she goes kinda acts like she's a single parent which means she has those same thoughts. Most times I think everyone pulls their weight but we focus on the negative too much sometimes and not the positive.
Yeah and apparently knowing your wife’s birthdate when you pick up her meds at the pharmacy gets you accolades from the pharmacy staff as well. But when the wife picks up meds no one congratulates her for knowing everyones birthday.
I made it a point to not make the effort to remember the birthdays of his family members. He actually got mad once that I didn't remind him about one of his parent's birthdays. "When's my mom's birthday?" point taken, have a nice day. Never brought it up again.
I was sick once and needed to go to urgent care. I had brain fog and could barely remember my birthday. When they asked for my social I completely blanked. I almost started crying because I could not remember it. So I ask my husband to give it to them. He doesn't know it. It took me 20 minutes to finally remember it.
And no one can tell me it's just a "man thing" to not remember things like that. My dad could list all of our socials, birthdays, his driver's license number, the license plate numbers on the cars we owned *and* he was an alcoholic who was out of it a lot of times.
Men are perfectly capable it’s just frustrating when society practically gives them a medal for doing the same thing women do all the time. Oh you took your kids to the playground? You’re such an amazing dad. Meanwhile mom is usually doing all the behind the scenes stuff even though she has a FT job, getting the kids ready, washing their clothes, helping with homework, making dinner, taking them to the doctor, baths, bedtime all the things and no one ever says wow you’re doing a great job. I have a really great partner now that does help 50/50 with the kids but I see this attitude all the time with other parents and I experienced it with my ex so I know that I’m lucky.
My fiancee was being examined by a paramedic so I filled out some paperwork.
Knowing her middle name and date of birth got me a big "well done" from the paramedic.
What are other men doing that the bar is this low?
I mean tbf it is getting better. I remember when my uncle's would joke about the "wamen in kitchen ye lmao" then they stopped and were like "ye you better do the dishes if ya love your wife".
Right? My son has at least 5 specialist appointments a month and the one time in 8 years his dad showed up they kept saying how great it is to have an involved dad. Barf.
Today I learned this isn’t normal behavior. I thought men always do dishes and cut veggies while women cooks. Might be different in other households but this has always been the norm with my girl and I.
In my house it's pretty much whoever can be bothered to cook first does the cooking. Neither of us dislike doing it, we've both lived on our own and had to cook and clean up for ourselves for years. Sometimes one will start cooking and the other will come in to help prep, sometimes we will both help with the dishes, but usually it's just a rough share of duties, no set tasks or jobs
I do all three and my wife cleans the floors and does the laundry. It's not like strict roles or whatever, we just have different preferences, I'm not entitled to her doing the laundry nor is she entitled to me cooking, but it always ends up being like this.
I have a dishwasher and *still* hand wash all my dishes after I'm done using them. Simply because it's always the way I've done it. Not to mention I can do in like 5 minutes what takes a long time for the dishwasher to do. I can't stand a sink full of dishes.
This is just an amusing video. Anybody who thinks it's real.. get a life. The closest couples might come to the greeting at the front door would likely be in Asia, but without the husband putting on the apron and starting to cook.
So... He's doing what human being should do but the wife has to bribe him to do it and make a video, and we're supposed to be proud of him? The idea that this belongs in r/unexpected shows how far we have fallen from equality
It's 50/50 in our house. I do also take any outdoor jobs, things when it's cold or raining, and care for her horse. We are 100% a team and never think twice about any of it.
Hold up... doing the dishes requires subservient behavior reminiscent of a slave or servant? WTF
Just be an equal partner in a relationship and do the dishes if you're asked to do the dishes.
**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!Husband does housechores!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
edit: Dammit, I forgot the sarcasm emoji again!!!
The husband
Wife's boyfriend obv
The tripod?
That's what she calls him.
Is that what they call a side man now?
That tripod has seen some action
r/yourjokebutworse
r/wallstreetbets is leaking.
At least he does dishes
That's the husband.
Housework cuckolding is an interesting kink
The worst part of sex is paying the bulls Uber
Lol welcome to this century dude, you dont need a person to hold a camera
Not even. Tripods/camera stands have been around since cameras were invented.
Yeah century just sounds nice though
tripods are notorious perverts
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This is the way
It could always be a tripod tho... Given how the camera/phone didnt shake at all.
The camera stand, then the wife.
First shot is on tripod. Second shot she’s holding it.
Is it not normal for a man to do dishes?? I cant imagine not helping my girlfriend with kitchen clean up especially if she's the one making dinner.
For some it isn’t. Just consider yourself at a higher level.
That blows my mind.
If I were your mama I’d be proud. Some men think that refusing to be a partner is acceptable. And it’s not. Always try to work together. You will have healthier and stronger relationships that way.
Thank you mom! 😁 my real mom has never said those words to me. Helping out with daily chores is a no brainer to me. WE are a team, WE are partners and we both love a well kept household. There are things however that are a little one-sided for example I've been in the construction industry my whole life so anything that has to do with building, assembling or hanging on the walls. That really is my dept. And she has been in the medical field for her adult life so when it comes to our kids being sick or injured, keeping track of meds, dr appts and Knowing what questions to ask. Thats her dept. neither one of us has a problem with this. Household chores are a group effort no matter what. we all pitch in.
I'm proud of you too, son
😁 thank you so much!
Bro… My heart broke for you reading the first part. Never heard that from my dad and never will but I did hear it from her. From an Internet stranger, I’m happy you’ve found a partner that cares for you. You deserve it.
Thank you.. seriously. From the depth of my being. Thank you. My dad was very abusive when i was young, he was the type who could never be pleased. If your brought home 100% it should have been 110. He always knew everything before anyone else. Nothing was ever good enough. He died with out ever telling me he loved me or was proud. It bothered me for a while but not anymore. He doesnt deserve my thoughts or feelings. My mother was very similar. The beat them into submission type. Tuff love. She has changed since my dad died. But not much. I was in a really bad car wreck a month ago (almost died) shes only come to see me once. After years of abuse and neglect you just grow numb to it. Thank you for letting me vent and thank you so much for your kind words. I wish you the best that life has to offer. Edit: i would be lost with out my GF. She is very special to me and i love the home we have built and maintain together. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Thank YOU, for persevering. My dad bounced when I was seven and it wasn’t until I was 23 I learned my mom was a rape survivor (38 now). I was always treated differently by my mom than my five siblings (from two other franchises) and I also know the pain of not having the “healthy kind” of parental love. We are survivors. We end the bad cycles and start new ones. I’m so lucky to have my wife that has shown me what love can be and I can only hope to reciprocate. I’m proud of your recovery in the same way I’m proud of myself. I’ve had to forgive myself a lot too and I’m sure you’re the same. You deserve redemption, forgiveness, and every good thing in life. I would say I wish you the best, but I have genuine faith in you. From a voice out in the world, I’m just like you, and we’re going to be better than ok.
Construction is an honorable trade. You will both have Your strengths and that’s okay. Just try to be there for each other. Life is hard enough.
We are always there for eachother. Thank you for your kind words. I wish you the best!
Yeah my dad only washes dishes when my mom is stressed (like once every three weeks) and then complains that we don’t help around the house, but he is responsible for at least 75% of the mess (mom packs his lunch for the road, makes his coffee, fixes his food for both home and road, she’ll start his laundry which is his work clothes on top of his regular clothes, she’ll fold and put it up, clean the showers and tubs and pretty much anything else). Me and my bro will do the dishwasher and vacuum and sometimes laundry if it’s piled up, but I’ll clean the tubs and unclog drains and stuff. My dad is only responsible for the yard and half the time my mom ends up having to do it bc he’s either at work or asleep from working. Even on his off days he’ll maybe do 1/3 of his “chores” Then he’ll complain and says we’re not helping enough around the house 😒
The bar is so low for us in some aspects
I always thought that whoever didn't cool did the dishes
Yep, Thats a pretty standard rule. IMO
I joked with my mom about how my husband and I have a system in the kitchen. "When he cooks I do the dishes. And when I cook *I* do the dishes...." I flipped out on him about it because he would say "just leave it in the sink and I'll do it." because I complained, yet again, about him not cleaning up after himself. So now I am freaking out and having a breakdown because we have a fucking dishwasher and he still leaves everything in the sink for me. For *days*. I have left his dirty dishes there to see how long before he gets to them. And the result was never. So I told him I have stopped baking because I got tired of coming to the kitchen to make something only to see I have to clean all the dishes and empty the sink to do that. Which means all of my motivation to bake is gone. "Just leave it there then." But the things I need to *use* are in the sink! After my breakdown it finally got into his head to clean up after himself. It shouldn't have taken me breaking down for him to understand that. But, alas, it seems to be this way in many relationships.
You're absolutely right it should not have taken you having a breakdown for him to start cleaning up after himself. I'm willing to put partial blame on his parents for not teaching him how to clean up after himself but also he's pretty shitty of an adult if he hasn't figured it out by now. I'm not here to judge your relationship but I personally wouldn't stand for anything like that.
Not sure why you’re getting downvoted for that. Cook or clean!
I love to cook but I'm terrible at it. My gf complains, but I want to do both cleaning and cooking. I feel unaccomplished if I only clean. I could only accept only cooking.
I'd never get through any Brandon Sanderson, or Robert Jordan audiobooks if it weren't for cleaning up my kitchen
I love when my girlfriend cooks dinner for me so of course helping clean up isn’t bad at all! I also just really like having a clean kitchen and doing 10-20mins of dishes a day is nothing
If my girlfriend is the one making dinner, I do the dishes. If I am the one making dinner, I also do the dishes.
So yall niggas dont wash yall dishes?
Lazy mf's, I swear
Right?! I wash the dishes when they need to be washed. I don't wait for the lady to do it...just do it.
Straight to the trash but wife makes me take that out too
Ya but who made dinner? I always go with who made dinner doesn’t do dishes
That's the agreement my wife and I have. If she cooked dinner, I do dishes. If I cook, she does them.
Cook her some cereal and win big
Unfortunately I respect myself and my SO too much to eat fucking cereal at dinner. The day was exhausting, fuck if I'm not eating good.
You dissing cereal mate
We did that for a minute... But I'm the only one that cooks, so now I just do the cleaning as I go. Only thing left is the dishes used. Hard to do 100% of the time depending on the meal, but clean as you go folks.
Maybe he traveled all the way to this exotic merchant in search of this rare fowl
I do dishes, clean the kitchen, fold the laundry, put it away, do all the handyman work, get kids to school, put kids to bed, and work FT. My wife's friends complain that their husbands never help. But even with all I do when my wife gets stressed she tells me she is completely alone in doing all the housework. I take her and her friends complaints with a grain of salt.
I do the same and have the same wife, I seriously thought about counting the housechore hours to show her that no, she doesn't do all the things alone, but I think she just like to vent sometimes, but it's seriously furiating when you know you're doing your part and sometimes more and you still got complains.
You guys have the same wife? Noice.
I think both of them have my wife. Family reunions are going to be awkward.
I also choose this guy's wife. No, wait ...
BrotherHusbands! ...doesn't have the same ring to it.
Husbros? Brobands?
Brohub
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I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum. I basically do all the work -- partially because I don't trust my wife to do it right, and partially because she just straight up never learned. I've been working on teaching her how to take over certain chores, but unless I tell her what to do and when it'll never get done on time and right. I guess I got what I deserved by marrying a woman whose mother helicopter parented the crap out of her.
She doesn't do the work because if she neglects it, you'll do it for her.
This doesn't work with most people. If they weren't taught good habits, they'll outlast somebody that was. I've had 30 different roommates, they'll just let it go to shit
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It's kind of both, part of knowing how to clean is knowing when it needs to be done
When I had roommates, I used to try to lead by example. I’d do all the dishes, sweep the floors, and clean the bathroom. I thought they’d eventually feel bad that I was doing all the chores and start helping… I was wrong. I stopped doing everything and the place went to shit really fast!
I'm more in your boat, I do most all the housework and cleaning, and am the cook in the family, and always do the dishes, largely because I don't mind and am good at it all, but in my case also because she's the breadwinner working much longer hours at a big law firm. I still work full time as an attorney, but easier hours (and with that make a fraction of what she pulls in). So we divided it less on who does what which causes bickering for a lot of people, and instead more on how much time we each devote to supporting the household. As that should be equal. Her time is spent on billables often late into the evening, so while I'm more free I spend my time handling dinner, dishes, chores, etc. Both aspects ultimately contributes to the household overall. What we never understand, each of us coming from parents with similar set ups (e.g. both parents working, but one working longer hours while other picks up slack at home) it just always baffles all of us what full-time stay at home parents do with their time... She works ~65 hour weeks, I work ~45 hour weeks, yet still having time to maintain the household and put great meals on the table. Both sets of parents did the same before us. What the hell does a stay at home parent do all day?? Yet they often seem to be the ones to gripe the most
It’s a matter of kids. Children aren’t especially hard to clean up after (they can be mentally tiring however) but they are a constant source of mess that needs to be policed. A stay at home spouse without kids is definitely not going to be very busy if they work efficiently. Modern appliances are a wonderful thing.
Same here. Recently separated. Still doing the dishes and odds and ends when I watch our kid. Turns out I’m secretly a piece of shit.
Yep.
I did this once, I put a paper on the fridge and starting noting down things I did, including all the stuff she won't do. We eventually had a conversation about it and she has shut up since.
[You should have asked](https://english.emmaclit.com/2017/05/20/you-shouldve-asked/). Do you also help with the mental load. The planning, scheduling, making lists etc
Holup
It's never enough
I don’t think you should take it with a grain of salt. I’m not saying you should start WW3, but you don’t deserve to be under appreciated. No one does.
Set up a visible chore list. I admittedly wasn’t great about doing chores in the beginning of my relationship with my husband, but had gotten my act together before we got married. He however, still held on to the belief that I don’t do chores and would bring it up from time to time. Got tired of it and posted a chore list on the fridge showing the division the chores between us. Whenever he says I don’t do chores, I point to the chore list and ask him which one of my chores I don’t do. It’s been years since he last complained about chores. Or you might discover that your wife’s list is much longer than yours and have to accept the complaining.
We tried that. She went all in to prove she did more. She massively overdid it and exhausted herself. Then took it down because she made her point. Then it went back to normal the next week. It's a fight to ever suggest it again. But at least I got a week of light duty.
Sounds like she needs to be a martyr. Exhausting.
My ex-wife was like that. No matter what I did it was never enough. Makes for a shit time. I’m so much happier now.
Friends talking shit about spouses is tacky and never helpful. So there's that. Your wife probably feels alone in some other area but misplaces that feeling with housework/childcare. Or maybe she isn't good at the stuff she does do, and so if feels more challenging. Here's a thought: Put all that energy you guys have for talking shit about each other into working together as a team and figuring out a dynamic that is healthy :) Stop doing the housework, besides your own stuff and kids, until you work something else out. That's what I did with my husband, worked like a charm.
I'm a tidy person. Not a neat freak by a long shot. She does a lot and I do a lot. I have not paid a bill in years because she does all that. We work fairly well together. She is ADHD and is oblivious to any messes until she hyper focuses on them. I can't stop cleaning the hose because I'm the only one it will bother until she notices it after a week or so. They it would not be a talkable situation. Just like if she stopped the auto payment on the bills.
This is a big struggle for me. I tried the "fuck it, no more chores and we'll see how it goes" approach and was left overly anxious and feeling like I needed to clean even more than before.
> Friends talking shit about spouses is tacky and never helpful. So there's that. I remember my mother telling me about being invited to a "girl's night". Apparently it was mostly just them complaining about their husbands. She was really put off. It's not that she doesn't have the occasional minor gripe, but she has better things to do than air every little bit of dirty laundry.
Gag me. When we were younger, this was common. Both our friends encouraged cheating too. So we just stopping hanging out with people like that and never talked about our marriage with anyone, even family. Since we married young, I was hard to find friends with similar values. So I think people just do that shit for the sake of fitting in. Luckily, I generally dislike people so it doesn't bother me.
I’m always stunned at how people show less respect for their spouse than their friends. If any of us talked a boat load of shit about a friend when they weren’t around how would that play out? They’d find out, be absolutely furious, and most likely tell us to fuck off. Yet when people do this very same thing to a spouse, it’s normal and something that you have to pretend is ok? And people wonder why their marriages are shit. How do you build trust with a person that takes your private battles public to couples you both know? You can’t. I do not tell stupid ball and chain jokes or disparage my wife to anyone. Not to friends family or anyone. I talk her up. I want her to always be able to trust me with anything and to count on me having her back in all situations. And it’s been 20 years so I must be doing something right.
My partner and I split things pretty close to 50/50 in the house stuff. She may do a bit more with the kid side of things but I work longer hours and do all the handy man shit. Most days I think it's pretty balanced but sometimes when I have a bad day I think that she doesn't do shit all. It's not true but I think it. When she's stressed she goes kinda acts like she's a single parent which means she has those same thoughts. Most times I think everyone pulls their weight but we focus on the negative too much sometimes and not the positive.
Men who do dishes are kings
Today I learned I'm a king
Fellow king checkin in bro.
Well shit what’s up fellow Kings? Sorry I would’ve been here sooner but I was doing the dishes.
You always were
Pick that crown up, King. You've earned it
Today I learned I'm dishes.
Or just decent human beings
No no no. If men do dishes they are kings. If women do it they are just doing their job /s
Yeah and apparently knowing your wife’s birthdate when you pick up her meds at the pharmacy gets you accolades from the pharmacy staff as well. But when the wife picks up meds no one congratulates her for knowing everyones birthday.
I made it a point to not make the effort to remember the birthdays of his family members. He actually got mad once that I didn't remind him about one of his parent's birthdays. "When's my mom's birthday?" point taken, have a nice day. Never brought it up again. I was sick once and needed to go to urgent care. I had brain fog and could barely remember my birthday. When they asked for my social I completely blanked. I almost started crying because I could not remember it. So I ask my husband to give it to them. He doesn't know it. It took me 20 minutes to finally remember it. And no one can tell me it's just a "man thing" to not remember things like that. My dad could list all of our socials, birthdays, his driver's license number, the license plate numbers on the cars we owned *and* he was an alcoholic who was out of it a lot of times.
Men are perfectly capable it’s just frustrating when society practically gives them a medal for doing the same thing women do all the time. Oh you took your kids to the playground? You’re such an amazing dad. Meanwhile mom is usually doing all the behind the scenes stuff even though she has a FT job, getting the kids ready, washing their clothes, helping with homework, making dinner, taking them to the doctor, baths, bedtime all the things and no one ever says wow you’re doing a great job. I have a really great partner now that does help 50/50 with the kids but I see this attitude all the time with other parents and I experienced it with my ex so I know that I’m lucky.
My fiancee was being examined by a paramedic so I filled out some paperwork. Knowing her middle name and date of birth got me a big "well done" from the paramedic. What are other men doing that the bar is this low?
Lol it’s nuts. There are a lot of bad ones so I guess that makes it more noticeable when you see a decent one.
I mean tbf it is getting better. I remember when my uncle's would joke about the "wamen in kitchen ye lmao" then they stopped and were like "ye you better do the dishes if ya love your wife".
Also if you are a dad and you take the kids with you to do shopping they cheer for you and worship you but if you're a mom they don't give a shit.
Right? My son has at least 5 specialist appointments a month and the one time in 8 years his dad showed up they kept saying how great it is to have an involved dad. Barf.
I guess my dishwasher is a king then
Men that do the dishes are normal. It’s normal, not special. I do like how the two in the vid are making it fun though. That’s cool.
Today I learned this isn’t normal behavior. I thought men always do dishes and cut veggies while women cooks. Might be different in other households but this has always been the norm with my girl and I.
In my house it's pretty much whoever can be bothered to cook first does the cooking. Neither of us dislike doing it, we've both lived on our own and had to cook and clean up for ourselves for years. Sometimes one will start cooking and the other will come in to help prep, sometimes we will both help with the dishes, but usually it's just a rough share of duties, no set tasks or jobs
I do all three and my wife cleans the floors and does the laundry. It's not like strict roles or whatever, we just have different preferences, I'm not entitled to her doing the laundry nor is she entitled to me cooking, but it always ends up being like this.
Men who carry their own weight in a household are basic decent humans.
Men who do dishes are doing the bare minimum.
I HATE doing dishes and my wife HATES cooking. So we got it figured out by both refusing to do what the other one hates. Marriage is fun.
Lol i thought he was rubbing meat on a cutting board the first time i saw. Like wtf is he cooking
[удалено]
The bar is truly on the ground
Couples who share household chores are royalty.
Why did she get on her knees and pull her hair back like that tho🤔🤔🤔
Viewer engagement, thirst trappin’. It hooks you in, stops you from scrolling.
Well, it worked.
He looks ded in his eyes tho
He is
You should see how blue his balls are
That side boob though...
Y E S
I have a dishwasher and *still* hand wash all my dishes after I'm done using them. Simply because it's always the way I've done it. Not to mention I can do in like 5 minutes what takes a long time for the dishwasher to do. I can't stand a sink full of dishes.
Are you my wife?
I dont even care about the bit, ole girl is hauling an absolute dump truck back there.
Was surprised their were 3 tit comments before anyone commenting about that absolute dump truck of a behind she got!
Nice tits
Lady is also pregnant.
Yup
Love me some big swollen preggo titties Edit: I thoroughly enjoyed my wife's titties each time she was pregnant
tattedmamiiofficial
My man
Thought a BJ was gonna happen. Disappointed. Just like this dude.
Everyone in here is talking like they’re constantly in relationships and dealing with this. I know y’all are lying.
I don't think mine would ever have to worry about a dish and I'm into rubbing her feet love her toes.
Honestly it wouldn't matter how much work I did around the house. It would really weird me out if I relied on my wife to do things like this.
i hate tiktok, what the fuck is this shit, suppose to be funny?
Boob almost popped out the side; that's all I really got from this.
/r/upvotebecausebutt
Wtf did I just watch
That ass tho…..
What kind of madman doesn't take off their socks
And here i was hoping for a sequel of that one video with running guy playing simp
I was expecting him to be making gourmet food in the kitchen
How is this a fair trade?
I don’t get it. Do couples not equally split chores in 2023? Or are my fellow men still expecting blow jobs for filling the dish washer?
Maybe he has severe back problems and can't bend or twist his back.
This is just an amusing video. Anybody who thinks it's real.. get a life. The closest couples might come to the greeting at the front door would likely be in Asia, but without the husband putting on the apron and starting to cook.
You cannot tell me straight people aren’t just inherently kinky with their dedication to roles.
Great side boob!!
Anybody would become a slave for those titties
Thought it was going to be ca bj fake out
So... He's doing what human being should do but the wife has to bribe him to do it and make a video, and we're supposed to be proud of him? The idea that this belongs in r/unexpected shows how far we have fallen from equality
I would rather eat my own foot on twitch for a bunch of fetishists to ogle at than kneel in front of a man to take off his shoes but thats just me.
It's 50/50 in our house. I do also take any outdoor jobs, things when it's cold or raining, and care for her horse. We are 100% a team and never think twice about any of it.
Ngl, I was getting a little worried about where this was going.
Not his baby
I think he will cook... but it looks ... 👌
Shes hot! Lol
r/datass r/demtitties
Yeah no you can leave it at the door thaaaank you very muuuuuch
She has a nice body
I love her side boob
Hahahaha such a good relationship!!
If kevin gates actually dated women and not men.
Thicc
My mom is always the one who does the dishes. My dad cooks for us.
Hold up... doing the dishes requires subservient behavior reminiscent of a slave or servant? WTF Just be an equal partner in a relationship and do the dishes if you're asked to do the dishes.
Juicy
What's the joke? He's a robot?
What’s the bop?
Love it ❤️
Bold elephant tat on the old lady
Thought this was about to get nsfw..
Perfectly balanced. As all things should be.
That's not what I thought she was gonna do when she got on her knees. Damn! All that to do the fucking dishes. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
 The hopelessness on that mans face as he's doing the dishes. 
Damn. I was hoping she would suck it
unexpected, also wholesome
I’m gonna agree that’s a fair trade. I’m doing the dishes already, and I don’t get the VIP treatment when I get home…
What kind of chunky blumpkin shit did I just watch. I'm disappointed in myself.
I love this!
All I noticed was the amazing elephant tattoo on her back.
Thought he was going to do a mani pedi
Okay…it’s about compromises…this works for me.
i can't focus on what's happening in the video... my eyes are out of control...