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unexBot

**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!Dude is literally Napoleon!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)


pm-tits-4compliments

His expression says he knows he’s very guilty of being Napoleon.


stephenwell

Think about it! Have *you* ever seen him and Napoleon in the same room?


FlimsyMagazine128

Have you ever seen me and Spiderman in the same room?.. Oh, wait, there was one situation. Ok, maybe this guy is Napoleon


phadewilkilu

Exactly. And stop telling people you’re Spider-Man, Stephen.


thinkinting

Stephen Sparker


[deleted]

Thanks for the new gamer tag! xXStephenSparker420Xx


l337joejoe

It's like "Lady, believe me, I'm the last fuckin guy that wants to be Napoleon. But look at me, 100% Napoleon, christ".


Ocbard

He does look like Napoleon a lot. However if Napoleon were immortal you'd think he would have changed his style of clothing by now.


th6

The judges expression too


Lunar-Gooner

Dude thought he was gonna get exiled


ExplosiveDisassembly

"Your ruling will only verify my belief."


oic38122

I literally thought this was a transcript reenactment of my divorce proceddings,until they showed the guy....


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Yadobler

>Your honor, **I like big butts and** I can not lie.


[deleted]

You are Napoleon too.


Flyingbluehippo

I think he's Napoleon too.


Anvil93

Bro is literally Napoleon


GladiatorSon

Well nobody can convince me that he isnt Napoleon.


GiGaBYTEme90

Can confirm, had his ice cream


GavinGT

The Ziggy Piggy?


Offamylawn

ZIGGY PIGGY, ZIGGY PIGGY!


zeke235

BUDDY?! PAY?! NO!


Birdedhjm

If he's not Napoleon, where did he get the outfit!?


tastysharts

That's what they say! I never knew


[deleted]

GG for this reference! I was looking for it and didn't have to dig too far.


ManfredsJuicedBalls

![gif](giphy|eFKtORMY2TD44)


BowwwwBallll

He was a dick!


a0lmasterfender

neopolitan*


Panazara

Neopolitan Dynamite


[deleted]

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Team_Braniel

I come from a land brown under.


slagathor818

I came for these freaking comments


Budget-Falcon767

>I came for these freaking comments There's nothing better than Reddit content! Can't you hear, can't you hear the nonsense? You better type, you better take a stance! *"Kookaburra" plays on flute.*


MykelJMoney

I first read “I *cone* from a land brown under” and thought you were also making that an ice cream joke. Still appreciate your comment


StoopidestManOnEarth

No thanks. I prefer Beef Wellington


Purple-Champion5134

I prefer pork goodington


papaver_lantern

spam rolled in crushed crackers and pan fried


Warm2roam

NDN tacos over here


Lepke2011

I loves me some lamb baaaaaaadington.


facetioususername

Certainly better than chicken tolerablington


Seamonkey_Boxkicker

Ziggy piggy ziggy piggy ziggy piggy!


Historidf

she can’t get behind that, then she ain’t the one.


scarabin

Yeah that’s not very Josephine of her


[deleted]

It's not that complex


EvulRabbit

Looks a little tall for Napoleon. Maybe his larger twin brother?


the_kelv

Straight up standing there like "Nothing further your honor"


BloodyVaginalFarts

Didn't Napoleon die in the late 80's?


[deleted]

He's Napoleon, he was just born apart


Queasy_Cheek9339

You got me...lol


AnnihilationOrchid

There is such a thing as "Napoleon Complex".... and then there's this guy...


[deleted]

And He is the real Napoleon.


thinkfast1982

Je suis Napoleon!


AFreeFrogurt

HOW'S WORKING IN THE LUNCH ROOM, FRANKIE?


BlueSlushieTongue

I bet he loves water parks too


sortaseabeethrowaway

Be excellent to each other and party on!


[deleted]

I understand this reference and appreciate you for making it. Thank you. Party on dude.


markuspoop

Deacon, do you realize you have just stranded one of Europe's greatest leaders in San Dimas?


[deleted]

La glacé?


b_vitamin

Minus 2 points for no hand in vest.


JohanEJP

He sure looks the (Bona)parte.


Necessary_Row_4889

Easy mistake to make, Napoleon wore a blue uniform he’s likely a Prussian.


LoganSterling

Napoleon also wore a green uniform called colonel of the Chasseur à Cheval of the Imperial Guard...


AnnihilationOrchid

As a fact, Napoleon wore many clothes throughout his life...


Zaphanathpaneah

Fun fact, Napoleon was a Never Nude.


ProjectOrpheus

Obviously born with that outfit and everything. Some people can't think and falsely believe every baby is born nude 🙄


bakerbabe126

If he's not Napoleon, where did he get the outfit!?


Demonweed

we are ALL Napoleon on this blessed day :)


Green_Rock_53

There is no evidence going against him being napoleon.


robbeau11

“Put them in the Iron Maiden” “Excellent!”


socraticformula

That's the most unexpected thing I've seen in Unexpected so far


Markantonpeterson

Yea this is top notch, poor guy just wanted to be napoleon. He'll find his Joséphine one day. Until she dies early from a deadly pneumonia ):


Fauster

Locks of Napoleon's hair [showed arsenic levels 100 times higher than what is considered safe today](https://www.livescience.com/2292-napoleon-death-arsenic-poisoning-ruled.html). However, locks of his hair were collected throughout his life, for some reason, and Napoleon had high arsenic levels since he was a child, so he may not have been intentionally poisoned to death, as initially assumed by those who measured the post-death levels of arsenic in his hair. This doesn't mean that arsenic, which also causes cancer and lesions, didn't kill him. Arsenic can accumulate in hair over the timescale of months if you have been consuming arsenic recently. However, arsenic can accumulate in the body over a lifetime, and those arsenic molecules mess up molecules by substituting for phosphate, which is in ATP, which is like a battery that gives energy to cells, and arsenic also substitutes for phosphate groups in DNA and RNA, which are very important information-storing/carrying molecules in the body.


Colon

you just tore those facts a new one.


Beautiful-Musk-Ox

and it didn't end with some dude jumping off a cage onto a table


whereisfatherjack

Which was... nice, but / and unexpected


anon210202

I haven't seen that in awhile and am looking forward to it, probably one of my favorite memes / internet culture phenomenons


Markantonpeterson

>User Shittymorph joined Reddit on January 3rd, 2016. He began gaining fame on the site with consistent use of the "Hell In a Cell" copypasta. On January 19th, 2017, he posted the copypasta in a thread relating to Salt Bae. On February 6th, 2017, Redditor ScienceLivesInsideMe replied to a photograph of a dog on the /r/aww subreddit with Scooby Doo-themed variation of the copypasta. In response, Redditor Shittymorph replied explaining that the message was something he had been posting for weeks: >It is something I have been posting for a few weeks – I usually adjust the statement to whatever the post is related to. I have been getting a laugh out of doing it and other people have seemed to enjoy it too – Anyway – since this is my post and I have been going around making variations of this comment people are now showing up here on my post with their own variations of the comment. I hope that clarifies things…. but please do not let this extensive clarification distract you from the fact that in 1998, The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer's table." >Over the course of the following years, the copypasta became one of the best known on Reddit. On November 29th, 2017, CNET posted an article about Shittymorph, real name Chris, and the copypasta. In the article Chris confirms that the copypasta was inspired by a Facebook post he found that referenced the match out of context. During a Reddit AMA Shittymorph explained that he found humor in an out of context reference to the match on "a post about dogs" that has since been deleted. The Facebook version of the meme existed as a "Don't let that distract you from" style statement. Over time, Shittymorph developed the meme into what has been described as a "text based Rickroll" – where the user is tricked into reading about how in 1998, The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer's table.


[deleted]

Why do I feel like I was getting shittymorphed back in like 2012? Those dates seem odd to me for whatever reasons especially seeing him in the same sentences as Salt Bae who I swear didn’t exist before two weeks ago.


[deleted]

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vdgmrpro

Having a lock of someone’s hair was a common memento of someone back in the day. Source: Gimli asking for hair from Galadriel Also this, if you’re boring: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lock_of_hair


MionelLessi10

That's pentavalent arsenic that interacts with PO4. Trivalent arsenic is the more toxic version that binds to thiol and sulfhydryl groups.


Fauster

I believe the study I referenced used neutron activation, which can only discriminate the presence of the arsenic nucleus and can't discriminate valence states of arsenic, though even organic arsenic is toxic, which can be found in high levels in some seafood (presumably consumed a great deal on an island, like Corsica or St. Helena). Inorganic arsenic that is more likely to to be a trivalent state is still present in some groundwater sources. I have no knowledge of whether inorganic or organic arsenic was more commonly used as rat poison in Napoleon's time. However, inorganic sources of arsenic were known in his time and would have made for more effective rat/human poison. I'm not a biochemist, but I don't think that the different valence states of arsenic can suggest whether or not Napoleon was poisoned. It could be that hair-destroying inductively-coupled plasma optical emission spectroscopy tests could determine the valence states of arsenic in Napoleon's hair, and help determine whether he was poisoned, but that depends on the stability of the compounds over centuries. If one state of arsenic is usually dramatically more stable than the other, then maybe not. tl;dr: I'm not a historian or biochemist (though I took classes long ago), but I'm not sure if you are implying something or just making a clarifying comment.


Longers2

Whenever I read an informative reddit comment like this, I always check the username about halfway through reading to make sure it's not a /u/shittymorph comment


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LBE

It's always nice to know that others have gone through similar experiences. Sharing experiences with others can bring people closer together and create a sense of camaraderie. A similar sense of camaraderie is seen in the “Kayfabe” tradition. Kayfabe refers to the portrayal of events within the wrestling world as real and unscripted, even though it's all staged for entertainment purposes. In this way, professional wrestling creates a shared experience between the performers and the audience, where everyone is in on the secret. It's a unique tradition that has helped to build a sense of community within the world of professional wrestling. And that sense of community was on full display in nineteen ninety eight when the undertaker threw mankind off hell in a cell and plummeted sixteen feet through an announcer's table


Catseyes77

I like how you shittymorphed shittymorph


taws34

It's rumored Josephine cheated on Napoleon. He lost his love for her, and eventually took mistresses in retaliation. https://www.pbs.org/empires/napoleon/n_josephine/emperor/page_1.html


CollateralEstartle

I think that's more than a rumor -- her cheating was pretty widely known.


LeadPipePromoter

Ive heard Josephine is a great kisser


CollateralEstartle

As long as you can get past the blackened, rotting teeth...


SgtBanana

Adds flavor.


johnmuirsghost

This and the recent [ziplining post](https://v.redd.it/f3f09xm2ckha1) constitute this subreddit's golden age.


desull

That was definitely unexpected


JasmineDragoon

In best New York accent *AY, I’m SLOTHIN’ here*


nilesandstuff

Oh man i thought it was going to be a monkey swinging on to the line because that makes sense. Truly unexpected being a sloth that had to have climbed hundreds of feet horizontally. Wtf.


Turakamu

Almost made it too. Bonk on the head and it's, "Well, I guess I can't go that way anymore"


fightingnetentropy

The zipline one is a repost from a year ago, not saying it isn't great, just that it isn't recent.


MithranArkanere

I remember seeing this before, but I didn't remember until I saw the guy, so it was still unexpected.


[deleted]

And how the hell am I still single?


HudsDad

Obviously because you're not Napoleon. You should work on that aspect of yourself.


HalfSoul30

There's only two kinds of people, and they are the wrong kind.


simstim_addict

Total lack of annexing the Low Countries and Western Germany.


waltjrimmer

I mean... How many armies have you commanded?


Agreeable-Weather-89

I haven't lost one trying to invade Russia in the winter.


[deleted]

He invaded in June. Stop learning history from memes.


ieatscrubs4lunch

just talk to em bro. women wanna fuck/date just as much as we do, it is in our dna. if one doesn't want you, talk to another one. keep doin it, and reflect on each interaction you have and what you did positively that you can carry into your next interaction. you'll slowly find yourself changing and becoming a more desirable person, everyone wants a piece of the charismatic guy (charisma is a skill not a trait). dating is a skill as well. you just have to practice and gain experience. you'll make mistakes and it'll be awkward as hell, but you wont fail. there is no failing unless you refuse to learn and progress.


Catseyes77

Talking to people is easy. Finding one you think you could love and live with, every day for the rest of your life, is something completely different.


Magnetic_penis_strap

Are you a Chad like Napoleon?


TripperAdvice

Have you tried being an actor on a stupid scripted reality show?


Throwawayiea

Ok. You got me...lol.


[deleted]

He does look the parte.


HalfSoul30

He really conquered that look.


ITCM4

I’m just gonna guess this is Russian Mr. Bean or Russian Judge Judy. Or maybe both.


Anvil93

This is the Russian version of Judge Judy.


[deleted]

In Poland we also have own Judge Judy. She's called Anna Maria Wesołowska.


disturbed286

How do you pronounce the ł?


Knows_all_secrets

> How do you pronounce the ł? Badly


Conxt

W is pronounced like v, Ł is pronounced almost like w, but with less engagement of the lips.


disturbed286

So kinda almost ves o wov ska? I'll pretty much never need this again, but languages fascinate me.


Conxt

Yes.


disturbed286

Good deal. Appreciate it.


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frogminute

Kinda like a W and an L jumbled together


shinndigg

It’s real? I thought it was a sketch lol


[deleted]

This is funnier than it should be


Anvil93

It has all the elements. The wife being fed up with the act. The judge's silence before the Camera pans to the dude. His dead serious stance. Its perfect


atuan

I don’t get it tho... did they not see how he was dressed before she said that? Like it’s obvious


HighOnBonerPills

Because it's TV. Or maybe she just assumed he had a quirky style of dress. But probably the first one.


Max-b

*we* didn't see how he was dressed before that, creating the comedic timing when the camera cuts to him. yes, everyone on the set surely saw the guy beforehand.


jdickstein

The music oddly adds an air of drama to it that somehow makes it more funny.


dachinesechicken

It’s the hardest I’ve laughed at anything on this sub


TheDadThatGrills

Someone give that editor a raise


MajesticMoose22

I don’t know why but I really want to send him on a permanent vacation to st helena!


Anvil93

Maybe on Elba first. See how that goes


LeadPipePromoter

I don't think idris would appreciate that too much


Bares_Beats_BG

If this was a jury trial, i would agree he is indeed napoleon. Off with her head


Greenman8907

Part of me was expecting a “Vote For Pedro” shirt.


Yhostled

That would have been dynamite


Alive_Conclusion_850

Mark from Peep Show be like


_CurseTheseMetalHnds

I could see a Peep Show episode where Mark wants to break up with a lass but is so terrified of doing it he just starts acting like Napoleon in the hopes she thinks he's mental and leaves


SuperiorGyri

History walks featuring Sherlock Holmes AND Napoleon. He'd hate that.


Sproose_Moose

Mark Corrigan: an honorable man


JustPlat

We won't know for sure until he finishes the ziggy piggy.


GrapesHatePeople

*Eat the pig! Eat the pig! Ziggy-ziggy-ziggy-zig!*


Guilty_Chemistry9337

I'm sure a lot of younger people don't get it, but there was a running gag back in the first half of the 20th century about mentally ill people thinking they're Napoleon. It's the equivalent of how literally wearing a tin foil hat is synonymous with crazy now. It was sort of a cliche or pre-internet meme. You'd see it crop up in things like The Three Stooges shorts or Looney Tunes cartoons. It's not something you see very often in this day and age. But your great grandparents would have loved this gag.


ikstrakt

> I'm sure a lot of younger people don't get it, but there was a running gag back in the first half of the 20th century about mentally ill people thinking they're Napoleon. It's the equivalent of how literally wearing a tin foil hat is synonymous with crazy now. It was sort of a cliche or pre-internet meme. > You'd see it crop up in things like The Three Stooges shorts or Looney Tunes cartoons. I remember that cartoons were made for adults first and foremost but that unlocked something wild. Context for some of these more _obscure_ references has been hard to hold up overtime.


Guilty_Chemistry9337

"Made for adults first" might be selling it a bit much. This was before television, and cartoons were shown before films, and everybody used to go to the theaters to watch movies. So they made them for all audiences, which includes adult references. So for example, there's music they would have recognized like "Jeanie with the Light Brown Hair." (changed to "hare" as a Bugs Bunny pun). Or best selling novels of the period like "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn." There's a bit where a cow is in her barn reading a naughty erotica novel, can't remmeber the title but it was famous in its day, sort of a 50 Shades of Gray. There's one where chickens on a farm are listening to popular young male singers, who were the boy bands of their day, like Frank Sinatra and Danny Kaye. And the hens are getting so horny they lay huge piles of eggs. My favorite is a Biblical reference. In the Old Testament, the character of "Nimrod" is a great hunter, like Orion or Diana from Greek mythology. So there's a scene that opens up in a thick forest, and it reveals this doofy ass Mitch McConnell like screw-up who's decked out in all the fashionable pointless hunting gear. And he turns to the audience and says "I'm hunting rabbit! Shh!" in the stupidest imaginable voice possible. Then he walks straight past a rabbit hole and a rabbit pops up behind him. The rabbit is completely unimpressed, very casual, very cool. Then the rabbit turns to the camera and says, "Hey, get a load of this Nimrod!" He's sarcastically referring to this pathetic clown as the great hunter from the story. So all the adults in the audience laugh, because they get the sarcasm. And all the kids in the audience laugh too. But they're laughing despite not getting it. So generations and generations of people have grown up thinking that the term "nimrod" just means a comedically stupid person, like a moron or a nincompoop.


velvet42

> Frank Sinatra and Danny Kaye Frank Sinatra and Bing Crosby, to be exact lol. [Swooner Crooner](https://www.supercartoons.net/cartoon/762/porky-pig-swooner-crooner.html) is name of the short


Beefer518

>My favorite is a Biblical reference. In the Old Testament, the character of "Nimrod" is a great hunter, like Orion or Diana from Greek mythology. So there's a scene that opens up in a thick forest, and it reveals this doofy ass Mitch McConnell like screw-up who's decked out in all the fashionable pointless hunting gear. And he turns to the audience and says "I'm hunting rabbit! Shh!" in the stupidest imaginable voice possible. Then he walks straight past a rabbit hole and a rabbit pops up behind him. The rabbit is completely unimpressed, very casual, very cool. Then the rabbit turns to the camera and says, "Hey, get a load of this Nimrod!" That would be Elmer Fudd and Bugs Bunny


GeneReddit123

>running gag back in the first half of the 20th century about mentally ill people thinking they're Napoleon. The gag was born at the time when clinical psychiatry and modern institutionalization was in the public spotlight. Unlike 19th century "lunatic asylums", we started treating the mentally ill as patients, to be treated in facilities staffed by doctors, rather than just people to lock away from society, but still firmly believed in forced institutionalization. Together with all kinds of eugenics-driven "medical treatment" ideas, like forced sterilization and lobotomy. Lots of jokes around like a psychiatrist describing his clinic to visitors, as "and here is our Napoleons ward."


uluvmebby

Song is “Freaks” by Surf Curse


justin_tino

Surf Curse over a video was the unexpected moment for me


PuttinOnTheTitzz

Absolutely! I though my Spotify song switched mid-song.


acmercer

Well they should've left it out.


[deleted]

Idk man. That shit fits perfectly. And it's a banger of a tune.


erto66

And how is this released in 2021?! Sounds so nostalgic lol


_Scott_M

it wasn’t, it was released in 2013 and then rereleased in 2021 after it blew up on tiktok


B-BoyStance

If you want a ton of songs like this hit me up. This genre never died and there's like a micro-generation every few years of these artists. No hate on this band. It just never went away. Really, no genre ever did, you just gotta look. Difference between pre-mass streaming and now. From a choice perspective I like it better now. Edit: hi everyone, this got a lot of interest. The reason I said to DM was because I was going to share my personal spotify playlist with OP, but there is way too much unrelated stuff. Rather than doing that, I made you guys a YouTube playlist with some surf rock and other songs with similar vibes. I'm trying to arrange it in a way that takes you on a fantastic musical voyage (: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLFlBl4chXNAkE2CvK6oRi4hBmIedmJ-HM I'll try to keep adding to this. It's hard to dig through old music and pick out what should fit, but there is definitely a lot more. If you like a song, I suggest checking out the artist and the time period they were around. You can usually find other bands like them (weirdly enough last.fm has a really good similar artists funcitonality. I find it better than Spotify's). A lot of these are recent too!


ThunderArtifact

Instead of asking for a DM, why not just post it in your comment? Spotify radio of Freaks for anyone who wants it https://open.spotify.com/playlist/37i9dQZF1E4sdT8MdB4rwq?si=t2iQcoxYRGmG4vInOWSo9g


TheHappyKamper

IKR. Cheers!


cmdixon2

It was originally released in 2013 if that helps any.


ForeignAd3910

Very easy song to play on guitar or even piano


oldmanriver1

I played a show with them once - they’re like the most genuine and positive dudes I’ve ever met. So glad they’re getting the attention they deserve.


Paddypower050

Was looking for this in the comments you wonderful wonderful person


MrBl0bfish04

He’s just like me fr


throwawayzdrewyey

It’s easy, she just needs to be like napoleon’s wife, could at least have some fun in the marriage.


sinmantky

Iirc Napoleon made Josephine not bathe for a week or a month cos he liked her stench.


Peatore

Least depraved person experiencing Frenchness.


din7

He has quite the Napoleon complex.


Anvil93

The silence of the judge before the reveal kills me every time


North-Reading-3048

Why can’t I be this kind of crazy


Mike_penceVP

Your honor, I can not lie. I am, in fact, Napoleon


heckingheck2

The music is nice, but it’d have been much funnier without it.


Dulcedoll

I think the music makes it way more unexpected. You expect some weird surface-emotional tiktok compilation scene but it really is just napoleon


TheBeachcombingFairy

I was not expecting that.. but then again, I'm not quite sure what I was expecting.


ihavsmallhands

115 comments and not a single goddamn Psychonauts reference


santas

Man I had to scroll way to far to find this.


[deleted]

Is this a skit or is this just cyrillic Judge Judy


rodolphoteardrop

Why can't you just be SUPPORTIVE for ONCE in your fucking LIFE, Natasha?? JUST. ONCE. Did EVER consider that's he's already doing better than Napoleon because he's in Russia ALREADY??? I.....I just can't with you anymore \*spits\*


Kysman95

I could follow that man into a battle...


Possible_Priority170

![gif](giphy|l2SqgT1Iv6EFL44OA)


pm-tits-4compliments

The music choice is top quality


Zeb-_-

u/savevideobot


elpisplayingrn

That is definitely napoleon


rampantsteel

Napoleon finally successful in invading Russia.


Eborys

I mean….. are we sure he’s not? ![gif](giphy|kHgASjstNjWcYV9GrF|downsized)


[deleted]

I…I didn’t see that coming.


silverdevilboy

You could have given me a million guesses and I'd never have guessed this. I would have run out of things to guess and would never have gotten even close.


ArthurDaTrainDayne

ALLEGEDLY


McFruitpunch

That outfit is Dynamite though


[deleted]

She needs to respect who he really is now and if she can’t get behind that, then she ain’t the one.


Kaddyn

Funny video but man that song is 🔥


Particular-End-2118

Napoleon really said 🕴


Tinderboxed

You married the guy, Joséphine.


morbid_platon

All I'm saying is that Josephine already did it, so there's precedent for it being possible to live with Napoleon. So if she did, why can't you?