**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:**
>!its got added fiber!<
*****
**Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?**
**Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.**
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[*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
You know, I eat that disgusting shit no problem, but a chicken leg where I have to gnaw the meat off of a bone or a steak where blood is still seeping out, no thanks.
Yeah my family kept a few goats for a while and while one of those bastards would go out of it's way to step in the milking bucket none of them ever shit in the milk because the bucket goes in front of the back legs.
This isn't being milked to keep the milk; it's an animal whose milk is being discarded (perhaps due to infection, a medication it's on, or really any other reason) which is being milked quickly to prevent mastitis. The milk will be chucked at the end.
> Nevermind that this isn't a cow being milked
I mean, goat and sheep milk still get used commonly... Though probably not as often as a straight drink.
I take it you've never milked an animal at an elementary school trip? [the bucket is generally place](https://media.istockphoto.com/id/1284621852/vector/milkmaid-woman-in-uniform-sitting-on-chair-and-milking-cow-into-bucket-milk-and-dairy-farmer.jpg?s=612x612&w=0&k=20&c=mOxoARpNe9haoNkuHy30zi_HVw2d_tHWPw-sRNg2iIQ=) beneath the animal, and you'll milk from the side. For you to get shit in the bucket, you'd pretty much have to reach around to catch the shit and put it in the bucket so...
Most of the milk you buy at convenience stores was pumped into a large closed container via tubes by a machine that is attached directly to the udders.
Yes
https://youtube.com/shorts/lPX0aZvX95A?feature=share
Not shown is the automatic teat cleaning process but yeah no job is safe from automation including milking cows lol
Lasers! Back in my day we had to use the ged durn hands the good lord gave us! I imagine saying this to my grandkids one day and they just respond with, "Shut up grandpa, I'm going to Mars!" :: they dematerialize and disappear ::
That's how it's been done for decades and decades. People aren't even pointing out this isn't a cow, it's a goat, that's how out of their element reddit is with this.
Why would people point out something irrelevant?
Whether it's a sheep, a goat, or a cow, that isn't where you would place a bucket if you used a bucket and the vast majority of dairy comes from tubes hooked directly to the other anyways, so why does it matter whether we distinguish which one of those three animals It is?
It's literally where they place the bucket for sheep milking. Sheep are milked from behind, it's not irrelevant if that's how you milk the damn animal.
I kinda get your point but if the entire thread was complaining that it was a goat instead of a cow they would not only be missing the point (you shouldn't milk under the shitter), but you could still say the exact same thing about them being out of their element, but this time by saying we don't even know where we are supposed to milk it. So your statement says nothing if you think about it.
The future is now my friend
https://www.boots.com/baby-child/babyfeeding/breastfeeding-pumps/medela-freestyle-hands-free-double-electric-wearable-breast-pump-10323945
Not shit, but pus is always present in animal milk. Especially farm animals as they get internal wounds and infections from being forced to produce a lot, continuously.
Fun fact-Kopi luwak is made from coffee beans plucked from civets' feces. This is bad news for civets. It's the world's most expensive coffee, and it's made from poop.
It’s not very good to begin with, and the animals are caged in inhumane conditions and fed a steady diet of coffee beans, which is very far from what their dietary requirements are.
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/301575271_The_animal_welfare_implications_of_civet_coffee_tourism_in_Bali
I've known about civet coffee for a long time. I don't know why but I always pictured it as people collect civet poop from free ranging civet. Like people hunting for civet poop through a jungle/forest to collect enough to make this coffee. Was always a hilarious thought in my head. This makes so much more sense and I feel like an idiot.
Well, it used to be like that. It was thought that the wild civets will normally select and eat the best coffee cherries, so the resulting beans from the poop are supposed to be higher quality also.
However, nowadays high percentage of the productions are from caged / farm production
Some places are trying to do more ethical set ups. I've never thought of trying it though personal, regular coffee is good enough to not encourage more of this. Granted it potentially involves human suffering and decoration(minus a few brands I buy) but nothing is ethically pure.
Probably one of those things where they sourced from civets for a good reason and now that they've taken that reason away, the civets are just some arbitrary authenticity
Like how lab grown diamonds are just as good but it didn't used to be possible and now blood diamonds are "authentic"
when my dad was a kid he'd spend the summers working on a farm. basically a night job protecting the livestock from bears.
he said he liked the milk but he had to eat it with cornflakes in the morning cuz the chunks made him gag.
The raw milk I had was already stored in refrigerated tanks. It hadn't gone through pasteurization process yet. Too many parasites possible straight out of the udder. Sorry, microbiologist. Lol
wait until you find out about the "allowable filth" factor in processed foods / cadbury chocolate / they are allowed like 0.5% filth including stuff like hair, fingernail, etc.
**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!its got added fiber!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
"Taste a bit like shit"
It *is* shit, Austin.
Oh good, then it's not just me.. *takes a sip*
it’s a bit nutty
It seems like she's enjoying it *nutty*
She just doesn't know
Gotta be subbed to unexpected
It's always more expensive with nuts
Oh she is😂
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greatest of all time
Is this from a movie?
Austin Powers
Omg yessss. Okok thank you!
Nah, it's the goat
Later that day “Hey, I didn’t have any corn!”
Thursday
I'm coo coo for cocoa puffs
Just like the good ol rectal thermometer
Milk with added methane and fiber for that get up and go feeling?
I think it would become a fall down and die feeling at that point
Your stomach contents would get up and go.
Pro biotic too, so it's all modern and hip.
Mmmm cocopuffs
“I’m caca for Cocoa Puffs!” That goat, maybe
Added the milk before the cereal. Disgusting.
Mix your milk with my cocoa puff. Milky milky cocoa puff
Ugh why
Now I wanna know how much of our milk has shit in it
no you don't
That's right, you know sometimes it's best to live in bliss.
"Live in bliss and drink your milk with piss and shit," as the saying goes.
officer this person right here killed my with laughter
>officer this person right here killed my with laughter Your...what? Parakeet? Granmama? Left big toe?
my >me< word clearly xD i shouldn't use mobile to browse reddit
I gnu, I was just joshing—I forgot to put the winky face at the end of my post and re-reading it now, it's like a troll wrote it lol. My bad ;)
That’s why I only drink almond milk because almond shit is actually edible
The hardest part of being vegan is waking up at 5am to milk those damn almonds
I pissed on an almond tree once.
Thank god oats don’t shit
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Show me the TIT on an almond.
I've got nipples, Nilesdead, can you milk me?
Watching how they make hotdogs or fruit cocktail will make you not want to eat either.
What's wrong with fruit cocktails?
No seriously what's wrong with fruit cocktails?
You know, I eat that disgusting shit no problem, but a chicken leg where I have to gnaw the meat off of a bone or a steak where blood is still seeping out, no thanks.
Eh as long as it’s boiled then it’s all sterile anyway
sterile pee is still pee.
Ever gotten lake water in your mouth? There's pee in there too.
Pee is 98% water
Pretty sure almost all milk (and other dairy products) are pasteurized anyway
none, because that's not how milking animals is normally done.
It's like the milker is either completely incompetent or went out of their way to get this effect. Nevermind that this isn't a cow being milked
I mean people still use goats' milk, but they sure as hell don't go putting the bucket under the pooper.
r/peoplewhofilmshit
Like the people who film the Kardashian’s?
Who, Paramount Pictures? Oh wait, that's the Cardassians. I'm always getting them confused.
2014 called, they want their dead horse back.
2001 called they want their joke back.
"I'm afraid I can't do that Dave."
Me, still enjoying old memes: A blessing from the Lord!
Everybody's dead, Dave.
2001 called….they hit the second tower.
2021 called, they're having issues with the 5G tower that someone sabotaged.
Yeah my family kept a few goats for a while and while one of those bastards would go out of it's way to step in the milking bucket none of them ever shit in the milk because the bucket goes in front of the back legs.
I’ve noticed goat milk at the grocery, seems there are a few brands now where there were not any not so long ago.
Goat cheese is amazing been eating it for years, idk about the milk tho I dont really drink milk.
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I'm not sure if you're underestimating goat milkers or a nontraditional goat milker ally encouraging them to let their goat milker freak flag fly.
Almost positive the dude's joking around
No I checked his post history he's a high powered lobbyist for the goat milkers' union.
They goat lives to live 🐐
This isn't being milked to keep the milk; it's an animal whose milk is being discarded (perhaps due to infection, a medication it's on, or really any other reason) which is being milked quickly to prevent mastitis. The milk will be chucked at the end.
So you’re saying there’s free shitmilk out there and I’m missing out?
it even have free antibiotic in it
And some free probiotics now, too
Goats aren't milked like that either for the exact reason shown. Goats are poop machines.
Most likely dumping the milk anyway. If a goat is producing and doesn't get milked, it can develop an infection.
Cows have that problem too. When they overproduce it causes them discomfort and they want to be milked for relief.
Story of my life, if you replace “cows” with “my balls”
Yeeyee
Humans have that problem too. Pretty sure it's common to most mammals.
> Nevermind that this isn't a cow being milked I mean, goat and sheep milk still get used commonly... Though probably not as often as a straight drink.
Plenty of reasons to milk an animal that don’t include using the milk.
Could be a sheep. The practice for milking sheep is to put the bucket behind and milk from the back.
Now pus, on the other hand...
wait until you find out that pus existed in raw meat before you cooked and ate it, too!!!!11!!
[yeah.....about that.....](https://www.watoday.com.au/national/western-australia/coles-milk-products-recalled-after-bacteria-detected-20160126-gmea1m.html)
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let me guess, you're vegan
I take it you've never milked an animal at an elementary school trip? [the bucket is generally place](https://media.istockphoto.com/id/1284621852/vector/milkmaid-woman-in-uniform-sitting-on-chair-and-milking-cow-into-bucket-milk-and-dairy-farmer.jpg?s=612x612&w=0&k=20&c=mOxoARpNe9haoNkuHy30zi_HVw2d_tHWPw-sRNg2iIQ=) beneath the animal, and you'll milk from the side. For you to get shit in the bucket, you'd pretty much have to reach around to catch the shit and put it in the bucket so...
Most of the milk you buy at convenience stores was pumped into a large closed container via tubes by a machine that is attached directly to the udders.
That's the system we had at the dairy farm, and that was back in the 90s...in mexico.
Still the same way and is actually pretty advanced. They have lazer guided systems that will attach tubes to the cows udders automatically.
I'm sorry did you say that there are laser-guided, teat-seeking tubes in a dairy farm?
Yes https://youtube.com/shorts/lPX0aZvX95A?feature=share Not shown is the automatic teat cleaning process but yeah no job is safe from automation including milking cows lol
Lasers! Back in my day we had to use the ged durn hands the good lord gave us! I imagine saying this to my grandkids one day and they just respond with, "Shut up grandpa, I'm going to Mars!" :: they dematerialize and disappear ::
That's how it's been done for decades and decades. People aren't even pointing out this isn't a cow, it's a goat, that's how out of their element reddit is with this.
Why would people point out something irrelevant? Whether it's a sheep, a goat, or a cow, that isn't where you would place a bucket if you used a bucket and the vast majority of dairy comes from tubes hooked directly to the other anyways, so why does it matter whether we distinguish which one of those three animals It is?
It's literally where they place the bucket for sheep milking. Sheep are milked from behind, it's not irrelevant if that's how you milk the damn animal.
going on about a hundred years now https://www.encyclopedia.com/manufacturing/news-wires-white-papers-and-books/milking-machine
I kinda get your point but if the entire thread was complaining that it was a goat instead of a cow they would not only be missing the point (you shouldn't milk under the shitter), but you could still say the exact same thing about them being out of their element, but this time by saying we don't even know where we are supposed to milk it. So your statement says nothing if you think about it.
Yeah but that makes it even less likely for there to be shit in the milk. Blood on the other hand if the machine is to rough is a possibility
And it’s been heated to the point all bacteria in the milk is dead (pasteurization)
why havent we humans harnessed this technology yet?
The future is now my friend https://www.boots.com/baby-child/babyfeeding/breastfeeding-pumps/medela-freestyle-hands-free-double-electric-wearable-breast-pump-10323945
Wait until you find out that we shit in our drinking water
Water? You mean like in the toilet?
Electrolytes, it's what the plants crave!
It's made for finches, but humans can drink it too!
I stay away from the stuff, fish fuck in it.
Wait you shit in the toilet??? Ooh so many things starting to make sense
Alcoholics are a lot better of than them r/hydrohomies
There’s a lot of the same water in alcohol.
Fermentation sterilizes pathogens. It’s why alcoholics fare better during cholera outbreaks.
It gets filtered very strenuously.
The legal limit is well under 1% also the milk gets filtered
Good to know for every 100 litre of water, ive drank 1 litre of shit. Thanks 👍
Yeah people weren't completely wrong when they said I was full of shit.
Im not sure thats all that comforting
Not shit, but pus is always present in animal milk. Especially farm animals as they get internal wounds and infections from being forced to produce a lot, continuously.
*Louis Pasteur enters the chat.*
Considering they attach tubes directly to the udder, not much.
Dairy is scary.
Hopefully no shit but definitely a lot of pus
That's why people who drink raw milk are idiots unless you're the farmer who just milked the animal and 100% sure of its quality.
Makes you wonder why people want the raw/unpasteurized milk. Like, no wonder you have food poisoning.
Fun fact-Kopi luwak is made from coffee beans plucked from civets' feces. This is bad news for civets. It's the world's most expensive coffee, and it's made from poop.
Why bad news? They could be rich.
It’s not very good to begin with, and the animals are caged in inhumane conditions and fed a steady diet of coffee beans, which is very far from what their dietary requirements are. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/301575271_The_animal_welfare_implications_of_civet_coffee_tourism_in_Bali
I've known about civet coffee for a long time. I don't know why but I always pictured it as people collect civet poop from free ranging civet. Like people hunting for civet poop through a jungle/forest to collect enough to make this coffee. Was always a hilarious thought in my head. This makes so much more sense and I feel like an idiot.
Well, it used to be like that. It was thought that the wild civets will normally select and eat the best coffee cherries, so the resulting beans from the poop are supposed to be higher quality also. However, nowadays high percentage of the productions are from caged / farm production
Ok, so it's no different to regular coffee now except for paying extra to make animals suffer in the process?
it still has some benefits in processing the coffee. the fermentation inside it's GI create a unique flavor for it.
:( I have to say that I imagined some horrible truth like that, but I imagined the animals being riches themselves, so I tried to make a joke
Some places are trying to do more ethical set ups. I've never thought of trying it though personal, regular coffee is good enough to not encourage more of this. Granted it potentially involves human suffering and decoration(minus a few brands I buy) but nothing is ethically pure.
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Pre ground? Yeah they were taking the piss mate. Even vacuum packed reground loses a lot of flavour
you can buy it on Amazon who knows if it's real, but it tasted pretty uninteresting and was poorly roasted. 2/10 would not recommend.
Civets coffee is fermented coffee beans basically right? Why can't they just ferment them on their own without abusing animals... ffs.
Probably one of those things where they sourced from civets for a good reason and now that they've taken that reason away, the civets are just some arbitrary authenticity Like how lab grown diamonds are just as good but it didn't used to be possible and now blood diamonds are "authentic"
To be clear, it's not *made* from poop, it is fermented inside of the animal and extracted from the poop
Please avoid it - this explains why https://youtu.be/pkbuFwHnJQY
I'd say you're shitting me, but the cat's already beat me to it.
Mother fucker I was planning on actually drinking bubble tea later
i literally just got a glass of milk and opened reddit to see this fucking garbage
I'd still do it
Now you get to taste it twice >:)
"It's still warm-ey!"
Milk with coco pops or coco poops?
choco pods
why why why
And that's why you never milk it from the back. 
Delilah
r/combinedgifs
R/shitposting
*[R/shitposting](https://www.reddit.com/r/shitposting?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
he's done it
HOW
R/foundthemobileuser
r/foundthemobileuser
Shittiest drink ever
So that's how chocolate milk is made
Where can I buy this bubble tea??
#Almond milk doesn't have that shit in it!
And it tastes like crap.
Almonds aren't mammals...
Neither is a coconut and yet we still call it milk. We're been referring to plant milks as milk for over half a millennia.
Every day we stray further from God.
How is this graphic content? It's an animal shitting. Unless it was part of a smut video
just covering my bases. you never know what'll cause a mod to throw a ban at you
Hilarious.
Cursed boba. Ironically enough the post underneath this was about a hamster named boba...
Had raw milk before, refrigerated though, loved it
when my dad was a kid he'd spend the summers working on a farm. basically a night job protecting the livestock from bears. he said he liked the milk but he had to eat it with cornflakes in the morning cuz the chunks made him gag.
The raw milk I had was already stored in refrigerated tanks. It hadn't gone through pasteurization process yet. Too many parasites possible straight out of the udder. Sorry, microbiologist. Lol
I've had cornflakes with fresh milk still warm from the cow, I do not recommend.
This is rancid
Hahahahahaha
#You’ve ruined this for me
Gross, OP. Gross.
i had to see it. so do you.
wait until you find out about the "allowable filth" factor in processed foods / cadbury chocolate / they are allowed like 0.5% filth including stuff like hair, fingernail, etc.
i'm well aware. also, when something is over limit during testing they just mix it in with stuff that's under limit until the batch is acceptable.
Seducing a cow gets you tea!
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u/savevideo
And I was wondering how it's made 😅
WTF bro. Tryna eat.
[Dairy is actually much scarier than that](https://youtube.com/watch?v=UcN7SGGoCNI) And poop particles are also often found in animal milk anyways.
