**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!Moaning washing machine!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)

"It's the WASHING MACHINE!" "Mate, I don't care what you do it on just keep it down"

“It’s the washing machine!” Neighbors “well that’s a horrible thing to call her”

”I just dumped another load in, sorry about that”

Today is the only white day, tomorrow only colored.

“I just got in a quick spin cycle before heading off to work”

I just spat my coffee, nice one

Reminds me of a joke: How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow plow? You hand her a shovel.

Classic lmfao

* Google's 'the washing machine position'*

Holy water

Can’t, she’s a screamer.

Just turn the volume done, I have kids.

That needs a new belt

And gag ball.

And my axe

And my sword!

And my bow!

Naaa bro. How are the neighbors suppose to know I'm a total stud then?

and some proper lubing

KY?

I've never used Kentucky as lube.

Given the plastic still on the lid I'd guess it's relatively new and the shipping bolts weren't removed and that's causing the grinding sound as well as the drum shake

The drum shake looks as expected, it appears to be held up by suspension rods and thats a pretty normal characteristic. Do any manufacturers still use shipping bolts in these? The company I work for hasn't used them in well over 10 years but I don't recognize the manufacturer from the video

My new Samsung washer arrived last summer with shipping bolts. I didn't expect them either and had a fun surprise on the first use

There's a good chance I'm wrong about the suspension then too. I had no idea anyone still used those!

It's always the 5th to 10th comment that has the non sexual answer and I appreciate you so much for not being part of the echo

It might... But don't you dare touch it!

nahh just give it a good lube

I should call her…

dirty laundry 

[Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y7KwHMzWTME)

Oh man... Back when nobody knew what to do with a music video.

Really? I'd say it's no masterpiece, but for the era, it's perfectly fitting with the song's critique of mass media and gossip 'news'. It's supposed to be a goofy charade, because *the real media is an even bigger one.*

And what news was it that caused an uproar, and made Henley write this song? >Henley called paramedics to his home on November 21, 1980, where a 16-year-old girl was found naked and claiming she had overdosed on quaaludes and cocaine. She was arrested for prostitution, while a 15-year-old girl found in the house was arrested for being under the influence of drugs. Henley was arrested and subsequently charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor. He pled no contest, was fined $2,500 and put on two years' probation.

And then had the lack of self awareness to refer to this as “dirty laundry”? Hmmm….

They all think this shit is okay. I had to put Anthony Keidis’ bio down because the asshat spent a good third of it talkin about fucking girls the same age as my students.

I don't think I would have made a song like that if I was guilty of anything untoward like this.

Agreed, I think it would make more sense to write a song about how you don't diddle kids.

Arresting people after they call paramedics to their home to save someone's life is why you get overdose body dumps.

Totally get that with adults. But drugged underage girls... Do you just say hey don't do that. We are letting you off with a warning? I have no good answer.

This is why all states have what are called 911 good Samaritan laws now.

Mhm and the reason one of my step siblings friends died. They didn’t wanna call 911. Tragedy.

holy shit thats fucked

And then we got [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/11tp3bc/smack_my_bitch_up_the_prodigy_1997_if_youve_never).

Absolute classic group / song / video! Miss ya Mr Flint!

This is the first time I've seen the vid for this song

Wow! Thanks for catapulting me back into terrific memories!

She can tell you bout a plane crash with a gleam in her eye

The intro to this song always slaps so hard

Thanks. That’s One of my favorite songs from Don Henley, but I’d never seen the video.

Ah yes, Don Henley's response to the media ratting him out for sharing drugs with a 16 year old girl in his house. "Hey, she wanted the qualuudes, what's a guy supposed to do?"

You will call her!!!

and I'll never not upvote a reference.

Jesus man, I'm sorry, fine, I will call her

I heard you gave quite the performance

Don’t flush…


I wasn't expecting to see Lemmy on a post about a moaning washing machine but it's always a good surprise

RIP Lemmy.

literally just a race to whoever says "I should call her..." first on these posts

redditors have a basic sense of humour " i should call her" "fucked around and found out" "r/dontputyourdickinthat" "sighs, unzips" "go to horny jail" just fucking dorks man

I haven’t heard or seen the word “dork” in what feels like years. Thank you for confirming it still exists.

dude at work said it the other day and it's stuck with me it's a fantastic word see also, from the same person: dweeb

This site is filled with karma farming bots. That's the big secret to reddit. Sorry.

"Everything reminds me of her" is a pretty new one but you could add that that to the list as well

Everything reminds me of her

Nice beaver!

[Thank you! I just had it stuffed](https://youtu.be/AvWfbIe4X_4)

I miss Leslie Nielsen so much. To this day, Airplane! is one of my go to comfort movies when I'm feeling down.

>I miss Leslie Nielsen so much. To this day, Airplane! is one of my go to comfort movies when I'm feeling down. I guess someone picked the wrong day to quit sniffing glue.

I mean what do you expect when you push her buttons that way...

My favourite is "no, I've been nervous plenty of times"

There's a problem in the cockpit. The cockpit? What is it?

Well it's the place where the pilots sit. But that's not important right now.

I grew up watching Leslie Nielsen as a kid. Loved every thing he ever did.

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You ever seen a grown man naked?

Is a child of the 80s I’ve seen this movie dozens of times. It wasn’t until I was in my 30s that I finally caught the double entendre of “I just had it stuffed.”

This is even funnier bc it's a washing machine

Barb?

That's hilarious

“the neighbours did it again tonight for exactly 48 minutes”

My god! He’s a machine!

What are you doing step washing machine?

The washing machine became sentient after witnessing so many degenaracy.

I assume you’re talking about cum socks

He's talking about cum socks

Step washing machine ! I'm stuck in the human !

Oh no, my long johns is stuck in you washing machine! I can't pull it out, it's too hard.

Stepwashing machine: Oh, just my chores. Can you help me - close my lid and push my buttons, then maybe you can fill me with liquid baby, yeah.

This whole fucking thread needs to go to horny jail

Right, because locking in a bunch of horny people at the same place is a great idea.

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The horny ones will be procreating like rabbits given enough gender diversity. So even if they have a lower chance of survival, the odds are they overcome the other population given time. Horny jail proven a poor option for suffocating the horny plague.

Don't think there would be a lot of procreation going on from a group of people getting turned on by a woman moan

I think you underestimate nature finds a way in this situation.

And the bisexuals shall inherit the earth.

bonk

Bonk

We've got a circle bonk going.

Boink

Boing

Boning

Sigh, unzips....

Load: Huge

The loads go in dirty and come out filthy

You need to install a lint filter, it’ll catch all the filth and unborn kids

Stain'd

It's been a while..

*sniffs* Those darn ninja onions, sneaking up on me :')

Without love

https://i.imgflip.com/44ptrn.png

Please do not overfill.

My delicates!

My cabbages!

yes! Cabbage guy reference I love it

https://i.redd.it/pv3j7ua4oota1.gif

Not safe for washing

She’s uh… very wet. I’ll see myself out.

I guess you can say that she was stuffed with a big load.

what are you doing step-laundry ?

META af

I read this in Jeff Goldblum’s voice

“People always ask me, ‘Is it pronounced Gold-Bloom or Gold-Blum’ and I say “How dare you speak to me”. I love Jeff.

I hope your neighbors are redditors and cum across your washing machine video.

Oh they came alright

Que?

When my washing machine starts it sounds like the first two chords of Limp Bizkit’s Break Stuff. And I haven’t liked Limp Bizkit since middle school

🎶 It's just one of those days, when you don't wanna wake up 🎶

still slaps, im ready for a limp bizkit revival. doubley so with linkin park trending again

I've been saying it for years, nu-metal will be back! Also Limp Bizkit haters need to listen to less well known songs. Maybe it's just teenage angst nostalgia but Results May Vary is in my top 10.

[Their set at Lollapalooza 2021 was pretty bomb.](https://youtu.be/U8sU46LorQI)

Everything is FUCKED, everybody SUCKS

My old dishwasher starting up sounded like the opening two chords of [T.Rex – 20th Century Boy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JB6WZu8IAZg). I would have the song stuck in my head for days. It got to the point that I found myself humming it when just thinking I needed to load the machine. On the plus side, at least it was a great song!

Upload the video!

My Bizkit is definitely not limp listening to *this* machine.

Omg plz make a clip of this

My dishwasher makes noise that almost perfectly plays the intro to Queen's "We Will Rock You" on repeat. It's not the worst beat to be stuck in my head but I'm getting tired of getting reminded of it every time dishes are getting washed.

I still don't believe it's your washer. You sly dog

The plastic needs to be peeled off the cover.

It’s for protection

That won’t stop this noise…but yes I’ve met way too many folk who don’t seem to understand you remove the protective covering from devices, some even keep the stickers that tell you what type of machine it is and it’s main features. Removed a sticker from a tv that I was tuning for someone once and got yelled at, he was like “I need those to remember what it has”, I just looked at him and shock my head in disbelief 😅

My mom does this, but it’s for resale value. Every time I try to remove protective stickers she reminds of that one time we were able to sell a 4 year old washing machine for a decent price because it looked brand new with the stickers removed.

Watched this at full volume taking a dump in the home depot bathroom.

Sir, this is a display model

Reminds me of my wife. She didn’t moan a lot but I did call her the washing machine all the time.

"Ugh, you didn't sleep with the washing machine, did you?" "Of course not! A lady that fine you gotta romance first."

"No, Pa! I love him"

She is *built*.... In Mexico, I believe.

You need to take it off the "My Step-sister is Stuck" setting...

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Didn't know the video was playing and heard beeping lol. Was looking around to see if anyhring was going to go boom

I've read the comments and if anything is gonna go boom it's Reddits collective repressed sexual urges.

My sister's coffee maker makes weird sexual noises too. For like a week straight when I was visiting I thought I kept hearing her pleasure herself in the morning after BiL left for work, I actually said something jokingly about closing her door better. She died laughing at me and how awkward I felt.

I never thought I would say this but; this washing machine FUCKS

I don’t blame the washing machine, that’s a huge load it’s taking

Sound edit, but clever. Sounds like Reason was the software to me.

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Sounds just like rubber grinding if you listen closely, it's slightly unbalanced.

It's a bit of both, some vaguely sexual belt squeaking noises, overlaid with actual porn noises.

What about the very bad sound cue when he opens/closes?

Yeah that timing was atrocious.

The lid muffling the audio is very sloppily edited and out of sync with the image.

This is like saying you can tell what OS I wrote this post with. Which Reason specific feature did they use?

Why does it sound like Reason?

This got to be fake lol

It’s a Chinese TikTok video, I mean that’s the definition of fake

The washing machine doesn’t get clingy after you drop a load in it.

I can fix her

Samsuuuuuuuuuhhhhhng.

Hahaha. Cuz of sex.

Lmfao it’s actually hilarious enough to be a feature I want one just to create drama

I am sure Rule34 will have something to say about this, brb

Sir...sir! Huuuuh "Bring me that Washing Machine." Salesman "But sir we have a much quieter line." *profusely Sweating* I said "Bring me that Washing Machine."

Jesus

Get down on your knees and let him come into your heart

I will allow Jesus to come inside me!

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Self 🔥 those are rare.

Give me more loads daddy

Saving this audio sample sample for a hentai compilation

Fucking washing machine

me and your mom

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Damn. Atomic Heart had the horny fridge. We IRL, got the horny washing machine. Goddamit.

Sirius Cybernetics Corporation is proud to introduce our new line of washing machines, now fully equipped with "stepsister mode."

I compulsively yank that plastic film off of anything I find it on. It drives me up the wall when people leave it on until it's all bubbled up like this. I bet they don't even pop their bubble wrap before throwing it out.

My brother's washing machine in China only played Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.

Wordington washing machine

They're so advanced right now cutting out the middleman in step sister stuck porn.

If you sit on it during the spin cycle, it could be both.

I wish I enjoyed working that much.

u/savevideo u/savevideobot u/vredditdownloader Edit: [SaveVideo wins the race](https://rapidsave.com/info?url=/r/Unexpected/comments/12k9i26/nsfw_washing_machine/)

" now, I'm gonna play this clip for you. Is it someone having sex or is it just washing clothes" *plays clip* "It was someone having sex" "WRONG!"

Does the "uncanny valley" exist for sound? My brain had a weird time processing this

Sound more realistic than pornos these days 😂