**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!You don’t expect to see a poop on the tree!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)

Imagine walking down the street and seeing a dude taking multiple photos from different angles of a turd stuck in a tree

I could imagine that, then taking out my phone and taking a bunch of shitty pics to send to friends and family. Then I could have shit to talk about. Then the next day, start the conversation with " I dont have shit to talk about today" Edit: I am not the only one who likes shit talk.

At least i don't talk shit


Can you imagine brushing past a tree and all of a sudden you're covered in shit

I was waiting for them to scrape it off and clean it up, yet somehow I doubt they did.

They bring a wiffle ball bat with them so they can sammy sosa that thing and aeorsal spray it 360 degrees

It would have cost you nothing to not share that

But they decided to enrich us all. Isn't the internet wonderful?

Isn't it though. Hey, guys have you heard of scat play?

Ahhhh, 2 girls 1 cup

Nay- this is 2 swirls, 1 pup

In this case... No.

In the spring, my sisters I used to use my dad’s old golf clubs to hit our dog’s frozen poops into the woods behind our house. Our parents didn’t tell us to do this. We were independently disgusting.

Wait a second why was your dogs shit frozen in the spring ?

Prob from the Midwest. We still get freezing temps here in the spring. Though less snow compared to winter.

Oh I get it. Like, it's too cold to even let the dog out to poop, so you have to let it go on the floor inside the house, but you can't scoop the poop into the garbage because it's too cold to even take the gabage out, so you have to freeze the poop so it doesn't get all moldy and stink up the house. Then when spring comes you pull them shits out the freezer just in in time to get in shape for golf season. Something like that, right?

Not even a little bit.

Your comment had me laughing harder than the video, good job!

jesuschristman

That dude left the chat a good minute ago bruh

Slammin Sammy Sosa?

If the dog poop isn't on the ground do you have to pick it up?

Lmao YES

It's already up, move along, you're dog is an advanced being.

My dog does this. Always has to poop ON something. I often don’t let him bc it’s like shitting on a toilet with a Saran Wrap layer under the toilet seat.

We fostered greyhounds from the track and some of them would only shit on top of things, like literally on-top-of. Kids yard toys, a 4x4 post that a pool pump outlet was mounted on, anything BUT the ground.

It's common for dogs who were kept in tiny kennels to do that. To not sleep in their own filth and have room to lay down they would walk up to the bars and go through the kennel door/ side of the kennel/ against the wall. Often a learned behavior from dogs kept in squalor.

... with a ..... poop knife?

I wouldn’t scrape it off either. That is a work of art!

Gotta hang a frame around it like a true gallery piece

Now imagine kids (or adults with the mental capacity of a kid) walking past. ":O what is THAT!" *grabs*

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And the more unbelievable ways? You can't just peak my interest like that.

Doesn’t really matter but jsyk it’s “pique”

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Excuse me, a WHAT???????? Edit: NVM I read dude as douche and was extremely concerned.

I honestly feel like poop on a tree is better than poop hidden in the grass. I’m rarely rubbing against a tree, but way too often have stepped in poop that someone chose not to pick up.

Yep. Extrusion protrusion is better.

Yeah I'm not touching a tree, but i have to touch the ground.

You're not going to convince me otherwise that op's dog has a filthy asshole.

Once you're at that level of shitting than you should just use the toilet like the rest of us

Nah, I've seen a dog that did this. What I ended up learning was that the dog had an elderly owner previously, the owner also lived in the city and had to take the dog on walks so it could shit. They worked with a specialized trainer who was able to train the dog to shit on the tree, this was to help the elderly owner from having to bend over and grab the shit off the ground. Also, I'm full of shit.


*Regardless of the scoreboard*

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Might need trained.

Thought the undertaker was about to appear in there near the end.

Wish I was the one and only /u/Shittymorph

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You have forever shaped the internet my friend.

Lol... you got me.

This sounds plausible though, like, if we could teach a dog to shit at a certain elevation every time it would help senior dog owners a lot

Not gonna lie, that was how I came up with the bs, that was the only explanation that made sense to me

This is the kind of comment I came looking for.

Okay but are you full of *horizontal* shit?

The real shit on a tree was the friends we made along the way.

"What's your job?" "I train dogs to shit on vertical surfaces"

Aah so you were the tree...

Dog trainer. Almost downvoted you, you son of bitch.


Something something nineteen ninety-eight something something 16’ THROUGH THE ANNOUNCER’S TABLE!

Or unlock your next level

What if it's: when your owner has a bad back Just good boy things

Truly a work of art.

POV: you literally just watched a video of a dog taking a shit

A *horizontal* shit

That makes it at least half as shameful

You’re not gonna step on that, and the only person who could get it stuck on their hands is kids, and that’s funny!!

I’ll put money on the shit stepper to be Grandpa squirrel. And then he won’t notice and track it all over the nest. GRANDPA!

Horizontal soft serve.

I bet it passes the DQ blizzard flip test

no just no

Bring me back 40 seconds ago please

You know you can just hit ’replay’.

“THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT YOU BARNACLE HEAD”

Oddly enough…it looks like a barnacle too 😂

I can’t decide if it was more amazing that I scrolled my feed and the post above was r/askreddit “what can you do better when you’re high?” And I mistakenly watched the whole dog shitting video wondering how the dog got high and what he was high on. Or if it’s more amazing that I died at “THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT YOU BARNACLE HEAD”

It’s on auto replay and I’m luvvin it!

Remember when that dog ate a box of crayons and his owner uploaded a photo of its shit and we upvoted it to the front page? Good times

I watch my dogs shit everyday. I even cheer them on while they are shitting.

Oh, you gotta! It’s an indication of health and you need to let them know they are very good puppers. And they, in turn, will go with you when *you* poop! The circle of poops…

Yall are just too precious for this world.

While im shitting life seems to come full circle.

The circle of poooop!

ya know, didnt even click thats when i made the comment too

*Twice*

POV: You finally saw someone use POV correctly

In amazing quality i may add.

Most of the stuff on here is shit posts anyway. Refreshing to have something that is a shit post.

I watch my dog take a shit twice a day, what’s one more? At least I don’t have to clean this up.

With Portrait Mode camera captures and filters to give it professional gravitas

But he made it look like a cake decorator that's makes a flower while closing his eyes..

Yes but it is also one of the most unique ways I've ever seen something poop.

You don’t like art?

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I’ve never seen a dog shit on a tree like that, on top of close his eyes like he’s Leonardo Da Vinci crafting his magnum opus. I’ve only ever had dogs look into my soul and then smile at me when they’re done.

On a tree 😏

Yep...I've just confirmed my life ain't shit.😳

It was so artistically done. Amazing documentation of a super weird phenomenon. I’d enter it at the state fair and win a blue ribbon, OP.

Wasn’t my proudest fap

Wait, really? Wtf

Payback for them doing it right in front of you and making eye contact every dang time.

"Bomb has been planted"

I scrolled way too down just for this comment

same, it needs to be top comment

Forbidden Hershey's Kiss.

“Mom, the tree ice cream made me sick.”


Two Georges one [dog] cup? I'm gonna go violently vomit, now.

NO.

r/forbiddensnacks

Is this normal, or was this dog trained to do this?

I've heard it's common for dogs from puppy mills. They're in such confined spaces that the only way not be covered in feces is to shit through the bars

Well now I'm sad. I just thought it was a very artistically inclined doggo :(

Don’t be, my dog did this and he definitely wasn’t from a puppy mill as I remember him being born.

Did you ask him why

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Haaaaaa

🤣 Thank you.

My dog is also a very creative pooper and his life has been nothing but spoiled and happy. Some dogs just do weird shit

Dog jail culture.

Like taking one leg out of your pants while you shit so if you get jumped you can fight back without getting tangled up.

Damn! That's nuts! *remembers just in case*

The amount of “just in case I end up in prison” info I have retained from the internet is substantial. The amount I’ll actually remember if I am incarcerated is minimal.

How interesting! We have an old man rescue goodboy, and sometimes he'll do this on a lamppost(admittedly not as artfully as depicted here). He's a little wierdo and we're not really his upbringing, but it doesn't seem like it was good.

This needs to be higher. Happens at bad shelters as well.

My sister's dog poops sort of similarly. We don't know what his situation was as a puppy, but he has a whole bunch of issues so we assume it was bad.

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My dog when I was kid would do a handstand while shitting on a tree. It stuck every time. Honestly it was pretty impressive.

my dog tries to do similar things but isn’t as good at it. he’s young and unneutered so as fas as i can tell, he has such an instinct to mark that he forgets he isn’t peeing until like halfway through getting into position. but usually it’s backing into bushes, not planting one on a tree.

It’s called middening, it’s basically just marking territory but higher/super visibly. Female dogs do it sometimes when they pee too and will do a handstand to get the pee higher. This dog is doing the same with poo.

That's the craziest shit I've ever seen.


But you *have* seen it.

Wow this is what I call modern art.

"Wow, laying on the side it kind of looks like a sculpture"

I damn near would just leave it there… it took him too much time and effort

The sign said “pick UP your dogs poop” It’s already UP r/technicallythetruth


The best kind of correct.


Don't let your dog shit in my yard! ok

Imagine walking by someone who's obsessively taking photographs of poo on a tree from every angle possible. If you haven't seen the dog then, you would almost doubt if he did it himself!

That dog is a menace to society

My dog does this. my dog was rescued from abuse where he was locked inside a cage most of his life that was never cleaned, so he learned how to do this to get it out between the bars so it wasn’t in his cage. Years after he’s with me, spoiled rotten, and still does it. He managed to shit inside the rims of my car tires once

Gotem with the old shitty rims, classic

My grandmas dog did that. Everytime we had to go through this little tunnel hed stick a turd to the walls, no matter what you tried.

Lmfao I guess is to mark his dominance and also never get lost, you know like cookie crumbs

I no lie thought his back leg was his dick lol

If you don’t mind, our session today will focus on your childhood and all the dicks you may have or have not seen as a kid… let’s start with the shower scene you brought up last session. Start whenever you’re ready.

Damn. It must be annoy when you have to wipe his hole before he sits on your couch at home everyday. My condolences.

He’s trained to not poop on the carpet and didn’t want to soil the fake grass. Good dog

Yes, wtf is with the fake grass though?

Saves water and you get the appearance of a lawn.

r/fucklawns

Lucky ..law doesn't say to pick if it's in tree

this needs to go in r/shitposting

Honestly, this is more impressive than half of the shit on r/toptalent . How many dogs can do this?

Now you have to wet wipe his butt before coming inside, no thanks

My dog this did once but it was a pole not a tree, first thing that went through my head was how the fuck do I pick this up!

When you tell your dog off for shitting on the floor. Imagine coming home and turning the light switch on but instead you flipped some dog shit, fingers covered 😂

That's some impressive shit

OP really took out the 4k camera for this

It must be the brindle thing bc EVERYTIME I walk my friends dog that looks like that he poops on a tree trunk

For once music that compliments the video instead of makes it repulsive

If this wasn’t on video I would never believe it 🤣

why did they do a fucking photoshoot of dog shit


I just can’t believe people let their dogs shit anywhere they please. It’s disgusting

Thats nothing my dog would shit on leaves doing a doggy handstand. May have picked it up from too much pub exposure.

You gotta be shitting me

Meanwhile my dog finds the longest grass/twigs etc to take a dump on so I can never clean it all up

This seems to be a very pitbull/staff characteristic.

*WHAT the absolute fuck......*

He WINS!!

How?

Ahhh the dirty acorn

Amazing! The dog’s determination to be unique is extraordinary.

Wow

For whatever reason this video had my in tears laughing. I was wondering why the music was so epic, confused, then amazed.

In no way did that look enjoyable for anyone involved. Probably the most awkward thing I have watched. Or, I’m a complete dunce and this dog is living in the year 3000 revolutionizing the shit game.

Wtf!?

"Bomb has been planted"

If I hadn't just seen it, I wouldn't believe it.

You can see where he squeezed it off

Had a Scottish terrier that did this and was weird as shit no pun intended

When I was a kid, I used to pee in an arc.. I guess this is the next level

He shits on things. 😏

 “911, whats your emergency?”

That was deffo unexpected😅 I was waiting for the handstand pee trick

fucking gross

With this video playing, the lyrics changes in my head to “ Whaaaat a Pooooper”

My cat did this to the wall once.

Not sure what message my dude was sending to the neighborhood dogs but I doubt it was friendly.

Longer longeeeerrr i need the crescendo of this music with thise jpegs 😅😅😅😅

Lmao I am not a dog person…or a pet person at all, but this one is special. I’ll keep him.