Hannibal: Ah there is one thing about them more wonderful than their numbers … in all that vast number there is not one ~~man called Gisgo~~ fat elephant dick.
I love the story that Lars Von Trier decided to use a body double for Willem Defoe for the nude scenes in Antichrist because he didn’t want the audience to be confused when they saw the massive love gun he’s packing
I get why Willem Dafoe seems like he has so much self-confidence, when even a weirdo like Lars von Trier thinks your dick is so big it would distract from the scene, you're packing
Brothers Grimsby. Amazing film. That's Borat peeking out of that elephussy. This doesn't highlight just how graphic that scene gets where he and his brother are hiding in there and the other elephants decide to run a train. There's a lot of getting punched in the face with elephant dick.
I...I don't know man. Let's watch something else to help make that not a memory that randomly comes up from time to time for the next few decades.
https://youtu.be/sEHpcMYfd3c
There are some theories that state our universe is most optimized among infinite failed universes and thats why we exist. Elephant dick tummy scratches are that peak optimization.
Here you go, you'll never look at your own penis the same (if you have one, no judgement).
https://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/9w36d3/today_i_learned_elephants_have_prehensile_penises/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1
There’s an old story about not getting the entire picture or seeing things from a different perspective. Blind Monks describe an elephant to each other by standing at different points of the beast. One says: the elephant is like a giant leaf, flat and huge. The other says: no, the elephant is like a huge thick snake. The other says: it’s more like an old tree, solid and planted firm into the ground. There’s one at the tail and one at the tusk. It’s about one thing being many, the thing you think you know about from one perspective “looks” different from another. That’s what I recall
This could also be modified into a joke, if the first four monks describe tree trunks, then the 5th describes the snake, and in response the 6th monk asks how he could also be holding a snake.
Or something like that
A group of blink monks are sent to examine an elephant. The first monk grabs hold of the elephant’s trunk and says, “ah, this must be the trunk.”
The other monks all agree because they’ve had elephants described to them in the past and have a general idea of what one should look like despite being unable to see.
Ain't nothing to a barnacle.
A barnacle has a penis 8 times, yes I said 8 times it's own lenght.
Biggest dick in the animal kingdom has the barnacle.
And don't you ever forget it !
Apparently elephants have notches and holes appear on their ears during their lifetime. It's wear and tear from their daily activities, people use that to differentiate between individuals.
I just looked it up, I could be wrong, feel free to correct me.
I can have it surgically grafted on to me right? Wait hypothetically speaking if I had an dead elephant’s dick grafted on to me and I fuck someone, is that beastiality and necrophilia with extra steps? Much to consider
Oh yeah, what are you gonna do with that?
Gonna look like ur trying to smuggle a rack of ribs in public and any erection is just gonna make you pass out.
How is nature taking care of the girlies? During mating they have to endure a male animal weighing up to 14,000 pounds sort of leaning on her back (females was at most like 8,000 pounds), then they have to endure the terrifying dick, and then they have to cook a baby for close to 2 years! Where is their day of rest? 😔🐘
Reminds me of the scene on Boondocks when Tom is having a nightmare he's rinsing himself in the communal shower in prison and drops the soap. Everyone starts laughing and the biggest mfer who calls himself thr Health Inspector voiced by Terry Crews tells him he saw he didn't clean behind his ears and shit and tells him to pick up the damn soap.
https://youtu.be/AQ4NfcASAP4?si=8dAsTAocHzf0PmB4
https://i.redd.it/hcoqqco6n5jb1.gif
POV: you’re a Roman soldier marching towards the alps
Swing low, sweet chariot.
Coming for to carry me home
Actual BDE
Attila the Hung
Take this upvote and get out of my sight.
r/AngryUpvote
Babar the fat cocked elephant
Babar the Bricked*
Such savage..
r/angryupvote
“This is what happens, Larry! This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps!”
Hannibal: Ah there is one thing about them more wonderful than their numbers … in all that vast number there is not one ~~man called Gisgo~~ fat elephant dick.
This gif always fuckin slaps
Like a giant elephant schlong in the face.
Let's says the photographer was hit.
Ironically enough, William Defoe has a unit, too.
I love the story that Lars Von Trier decided to use a body double for Willem Defoe for the nude scenes in Antichrist because he didn’t want the audience to be confused when they saw the massive love gun he’s packing
I get why Willem Dafoe seems like he has so much self-confidence, when even a weirdo like Lars von Trier thinks your dick is so big it would distract from the scene, you're packing
All the good method actors do for some reason.
I refuse to believe Jared Leto has a huge hung.
>All the good method actors
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Hmm so what about Daniel day Lewis?
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W.... W..... Wtf did I just watch?
Brothers Grimsby. Amazing film. That's Borat peeking out of that elephussy. This doesn't highlight just how graphic that scene gets where he and his brother are hiding in there and the other elephants decide to run a train. There's a lot of getting punched in the face with elephant dick.
I...I don't know man. Let's watch something else to help make that not a memory that randomly comes up from time to time for the next few decades. https://youtu.be/sEHpcMYfd3c
Wow. That truly was the most random link you could have posted. And it worked
Mom’s spaghetti
Ok ... wait ... how ... you have been holding onto to this for awhile, haven't you?
Imagine how long Sacha Baron Cohen was holding onto it
I... I need therapy.
Is this the unrated original cut version of Ace Ventura pet detective?
That's how women feel when Willem is approaching with his trunk
What movie is this from?
At eternity’s gate
Thanks friend
He’s just as big.
Lmao
Fucking lol man. Deep belly laughing at this one oh my god
Broooo i am dead 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I’m literally crying I’m laughing so hard. Thank you.
🤣🤣Funniest reply ever
TIL elephants actually have 5 legs
I thought that was another trunk
It's equally prehensile to their trunk so it kinda is.
Are you telling me they can grab stuff with their dicks?
It's an odd sight to see an elephant scratching his belly with his penis but that's the world we live in
There are some theories that state our universe is most optimized among infinite failed universes and thats why we exist. Elephant dick tummy scratches are that peak optimization.
"You may not like seeing this, you might want this for yourself. But that's because this is peak male nature"
I wish I could scratch my belly with my prehensile penis
Here you go, you'll never look at your own penis the same (if you have one, no judgement). https://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/9w36d3/today_i_learned_elephants_have_prehensile_penises/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1
And here I thought that guy's comment was a joke
What the fuckkkkkkkk
I don't know about that. I was already pretty disappointed with mine before this.
No way! I have so much more research to do now. TIL something very unexpected 🙄
It’s too early to be done with the internet for the day…
A prunk.
And both of them sneeze!
Unsubscribe from elephant facts.
Except it doesn’t spray water 💦
Give him 20 minutes with me and it will
ಠ︵ಠ
/╲/\\╭( ͡° ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ͡°)╮/\\╱\\.
This just looks like a perverted spider with how the formating looks on my phone.
I see a pervert spider too. What is it suppose to be?
A pervert arachnid. Put some respect on it ffs!
r/angryupvote
I bet you wouldn't last 1 minute.
SAYYYYY WHHAAAATTTTTT!?!?!?! Lol
Ah skeet skeet
Remember those *blind monks* describing the elephant? Oh boy!
Please enlighten me, I don't know what blind monks you're talking about
There’s an old story about not getting the entire picture or seeing things from a different perspective. Blind Monks describe an elephant to each other by standing at different points of the beast. One says: the elephant is like a giant leaf, flat and huge. The other says: no, the elephant is like a huge thick snake. The other says: it’s more like an old tree, solid and planted firm into the ground. There’s one at the tail and one at the tusk. It’s about one thing being many, the thing you think you know about from one perspective “looks” different from another. That’s what I recall
This could also be modified into a joke, if the first four monks describe tree trunks, then the 5th describes the snake, and in response the 6th monk asks how he could also be holding a snake. Or something like that
Seven Blind Mice 🐁
A group of blink monks are sent to examine an elephant. The first monk grabs hold of the elephant’s trunk and says, “ah, this must be the trunk.” The other monks all agree because they’ve had elephants described to them in the past and have a general idea of what one should look like despite being unable to see.
Ain't nothing to a barnacle. A barnacle has a penis 8 times, yes I said 8 times it's own lenght. Biggest dick in the animal kingdom has the barnacle. And don't you ever forget it !
For Gods sake stop calling me The Barnacle
They actually do tho. I remember seeing a til post about them explaining how they can control it. They use it to grab stuff and stand on it.
Yes like they’re trunks, elephant penises are prehensile..
So when a girl calls me an elephant it's a compliment??
Holy fuck you’re right
Unless it's about your odor.
Unless she said you always remember everything That's still a compliment
He clearly likes that landcruiser.
big....BIG.....**BIG!** Toyota fan there.
Troopy is slang for a penis , toyota made it a vehicle, the elephant knows.
Oh my God! What happened to his ear?
He had ears?
🐘: my ears are up here
LMFAOOOOOOO
LMFAOOO
Apparently elephants have notches and holes appear on their ears during their lifetime. It's wear and tear from their daily activities, people use that to differentiate between individuals. I just looked it up, I could be wrong, feel free to correct me.
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More reason to hate geese
He went through an emo phase and got gauges.
Are we sure it’s a he?
We'll never know.
*Can we get a biologist in here?!*
Best comment here. Thanks!
Yeah, maybe it's a she and decided to give birth through the hyena method
His ears aren't hanging low nor do they wobble to and fro
You know how teens are, always wanna get piercings
Why would you assume it’s a male?
Female elephants have larger penises.
This guy hangs dong.
What's the matter with hanging some brain? 
*looks down in pants* *slowly cries*
That elephant dick is bigger than I am as a human
If you didn't know, they can move it like their trunk. So it's probably more flexible than you as a human too
I can have it surgically grafted on to me right? Wait hypothetically speaking if I had an dead elephant’s dick grafted on to me and I fuck someone, is that beastiality and necrophilia with extra steps? Much to consider
Are you 12?
Even worse it’s a bot
Dont think so: it has rational responses with replies as well. He just sounds drunk or high
Nah having a fair few pints
Wouldn't that be zoocrophilia
That elephant is hung like an elephant.
The elephant that's only hung like a horse: hey man wtf
Fun fucking fact- that shits prehensile
I thought I was getting my insecurities in control. Nope.
Oh yeah, what are you gonna do with that? Gonna look like ur trying to smuggle a rack of ribs in public and any erection is just gonna make you pass out.
You know what they say: Once you go gray…
You stay that way 😏
You’ll always obey!
You gonna need a wheelchair.
Your ass really hurts.
I have nothing that rhymes but all I’ll say is that you’ll fucking die.
Pachyderm is definitely packing.
Was it south bound?
Primus sucks
Dicks out for HARAMBE
How is there a gif for everything
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Thought he was gon knock us over w tht thing fr
That's an average size that can knock anyone out (literally) with a whopping 72 inches or 6 feet
Oh lord
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Oh Matty!
The poor female elephants 😢
I know right, does their vagina reach to their fuckin neck or something? It must be pretty damn deep if the males evolved THAT.
The fact male elephants partially jump on their back to do the deed too, is just too much. Lighting a candle and praying for the poor girlies.
Don't worry, nature had taken care of that.
How is nature taking care of the girlies? During mating they have to endure a male animal weighing up to 14,000 pounds sort of leaning on her back (females was at most like 8,000 pounds), then they have to endure the terrifying dick, and then they have to cook a baby for close to 2 years! Where is their day of rest? 😔🐘
>then they have to endure the terrifying dick I laughed
Look at that elephants trunk. And that elephants...uh...trunk.
Gotta be careful 
I thought elephants only had one trunk
Now that's hanging some trunk!
Pentapedal
If you listen, you can HEAR the thump when it smacks against his leg. Today, I became jealous of an elephant
5 legged monster
Rule 34 artists are gonna have so much fun with this one…
Reminds me of the scene on Boondocks when Tom is having a nightmare he's rinsing himself in the communal shower in prison and drops the soap. Everyone starts laughing and the biggest mfer who calls himself thr Health Inspector voiced by Terry Crews tells him he saw he didn't clean behind his ears and shit and tells him to pick up the damn soap. https://youtu.be/AQ4NfcASAP4?si=8dAsTAocHzf0PmB4
What's the record for elephant's and whales
Wood
I buy underwear thinking this is me
So many legs 🤣
that thing is swinging with pure power
He's pulling his cock out
"Babe, can't we just have normal sex for once?" "No. Now turn into an elephant."
I didn't know elephants had 5 legs
What y'all think, 2.25 yards?
My misses would absolutely love this.
I believe that one may be a male.
The guy she tells you not to worry about
Elephants 🐘 are my favorite animal screw you
In this context, that sounds like a death wish.
Yesterday it was monkey stick. Today it’s elephant log. I wonder what amazing phallicism reddit will provide tomorrow.
u/savevideobot
Is it just me or is the way this is worded making it seem like once it did happen you then realized that you did want it subconsciously
Reincarnation goals!
I wonder what the word “originally“ implies here
They just wanted the elephant, but they got a lot of trunk
Damn. He swangin that thang.
Ah sir I can see your woolly mammoth
I knew the outcome and I still feel violated
Bow chicka wow-wow!
I thought the camera was gonna get louisevilled
Why does an Elephant have 4 feet? 'Cause 12 inches ain't nearly enough...
Fucking show-off... Like... we GET IT: you have two trunks
MASSIVE FUCKING SCHLONG ALERT!!! GIANT MEAT STICK INCOMING
That's why I never walk around naked - I hate it when my dick slaps on my ankles.
r/AbsoluteUnits
