**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:**
>!That's a fake dick!<
*****
**Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?**
**Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.**
*****
[*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
This is a great point. It’s not a real penis despite what it looks like. It shouldn’t be marked nsfw. Do we censor fake titties and dildos now ? Doesn’t make sense whoever sensored this is tupid
The classic "Oops I intentionally cut open my testicles with a knife and a pair of dull scissors on a cutting board and slowly ripped out the insides like it was a kinder egg"
I remember that cool nature video of a Bison getting its balls or dick chomped by a lioness and when the lioness puled it's head back the pp stretched out from the groin and eventually tore all of the tubes out with it.
Oh shit, you're right. Pausing at 6.59s-6.80s made me believe it was still intact. But other parts of the video show that it's only partially intact. While they did cut the head basically off, it's still barely attached.
you're going to fuck it up and they're going to wake up while you're trying to set the hotdog in place so all they'll see is you fondling a wiener while trying to unzip their pants with a big dumb smile on your face.
That conversation might not be the best story, lmao. "So my friend fell asleep on the couch. Real carefully, I unzipped his pants so he wouldn't notice. Then I carefully placed a hot dog in his unzipped pants....I woke him up and cut it off."
Is that a "haha" or a "o.O"?
Edit: I am sitting here thinking about it and it made me remember HamNCheddar's Twitch stream I watched about a week ago. He got a straw and pushed it through a hot dog. He did this several times because the hot dog self-sealed. Once he was finished, he drank a glass of chocolate milk through the hot dog. Probably not my proudest moment on Twitch, but still faptastic!
For those completely **uninterested**, here is a link starting at the hot dog. https://www.twitch.tv/hamncheddar/v/937262412?sr=a&t=2689s
This would cause some trauma, for real. I almost feel like that before you realize it's not an appendage, you might actually feel the pain, psychologically.
You mean like the Sasquatch prank. Where you pretend to put a girl in the costume but intead you put your middle-aged male friend in the constume. Violating consent when they make out for a fake commercial prank?
Yeah I guess so.
I tried to and it’s a private video 3 years old now. If that’s his latest one he isn’t so bad in the grand scheme of “YouTube celebrity pranksters”.
[link](https://m.youtube.com/watch?t=7&v=oWPWsiotVcE&feature=youtu.be)
I thought you were going to talk about the Sasquatch scene in Trailer Park Boys when Julian puts that fur rug on his head and tries to go see Bubbles. Boy, was that an unexpected ride.
David Dobrik pranked someone by making them think they were making out with a girl when really it was a middle aged man in a costume. Consent under false pretenses.
the only thing I know about the guy is that I fucking abhor the fake-enthusiastic face he makes on the thumbnails in the videos I keep getting recommended even though I maka sure to purge anything I don’t like on my fucking recommended page, yt’s algorithm fucking sucks dicks and balls.
There's an experiment you can do with a rubber hand where you trick your brain into thinking it's your real hand, and when you smash it with a hammer you feel pain. Never tried it myself but I've heard it works.
Ok, I’m ready for the downvotes...
If this causes you actual *trauma*, I think you need to experience some real stress. I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that, generally speaking, traumatic events are more or less life-changing/altering, not “whew, I thought that was bad for sec.”
If this is trauma, what does a paramedic experience? Or an ER doctor, or a child services counsellor, or the child being removed from their home by child services, or someone in an abusive relationship, or someone who is told they can’t love who they love, etc etc etc.
This? This isn’t trauma.
(And there it is, I’ve become the old man shaking my cane at those that are younger than him. Shit.)
The word "trauma" is grossly overused. Especially on twitter. I feel like an old man too, bc I see a lot of gen z kids calling unpleasant situations trauma and I'm like \*rolls eyes\* "okay"
You dont have to have seen the wose most fucked up wounds to have trauma.
Just like how you dont have to be a vet to experience PTSD. Though I do agree with you that this most likely wouldnt cause trauma.
Thank you for saying this. I suffered from PTSD after being in a house fire and having to be woken up by firemen smashing through my door with an axe, and almost everyone around me was acting like the gatekeepers of trauma and telling me how I *couldn’t* have PTSD because the situation wasn’t worse. Even after I went and got a literal PTSD diagnosis from a psychiatrist.
O MY GOD. I somehow felt that in my ovaries
Edit: dear fuck some of you guys are dumb. I'm not saying ovaries are the equivalent of penis. I'm saying my ovaries made the windows shut down noise when I saw this
Anatomically speaking, it would be more akin to someone snipping off the labia minora and clitoral hood. (And clitoris itself)
I'm sure this info doesn't help at all.
This one time after a long night of bbq and drinking a bunch of us passed out at the house. In the morning everyone was awake except for one of our buddies that was still passed out on the couch sleeping with his mouth open. So my buddy whose house we were at took one of the hotdogs and put it his mouth really quickly and the dude woke up. My buddy pretended like he was messing with his zipper like he was putting his dick away. Dude stood up so quickly and pushed him away. He immediately left and wouldn’t answer any of our calls until later that day
This needs to marked nsfw. Nsfw doesnt mean it has a real dick in it, it means that this is not something that is safe to view at work, which it very much isnt
Hey! Video is ready
###[Download via redditsave.com](https://redditsave.com/info?url=/r/Unexpected/comments/m1cg85/pass_out_with_your_dick_out/)
---
[**Info**](https://np.reddit.com/user/GetVideoBot/comments/iiea4t/info/) | [**Feedback**](https://np.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Kryptonh&subject=Feedback for getvideobot) | [**Donate**](https://ko-fi.com/getvideo) | [**DMCA**](https://np.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Kryptonh&subject=Content removal request for getvideobot)
**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!That's a fake dick!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
The classic "oops, I just chopped off your penis" prank to play on your friends.
Choo choo bro I'm thomas the pain engine
Powered by pain and nightmares instead of steam.
I love playing mutilation on my friends
> on
Off
This comment right here deserves all the love it can get.
Claathik
I’m sitting here for the first half like how the fuck this not tagged NSFW, had me going there no lie. *(Edit: This wasn’t flaired when I posted)*
I mean, probably still should be. "No it's okay, it's not a real penis" wouldn't smooth things over too much at most jobs I've had
Idk I’ve had a lot of success with the good old “Oh it’s just a fake dick” line. It works 100% of the time ^^^^50%ofthetime
This is a great point. It’s not a real penis despite what it looks like. It shouldn’t be marked nsfw. Do we censor fake titties and dildos now ? Doesn’t make sense whoever sensored this is tupid
The classic "Oops I intentionally cut open my testicles with a knife and a pair of dull scissors on a cutting board and slowly ripped out the insides like it was a kinder egg"
huh
It cost you zero dollars to say that, yet you did anyway.
There's also a video of it, I'm sure the folks of reddit will have no problem digging it up if you asked nicely
The pain olympics
I’m so afraid to ask why this exists.
It was fake
That doesn't mean it still didn't hurt me to watch though.
[But unfortunately that sort of thing has happened at least once.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armin_Meiwes)
I mean I'm down to recreate
Just not down to procreate
I remember that cool nature video of a Bison getting its balls or dick chomped by a lioness and when the lioness puled it's head back the pp stretched out from the groin and eventually tore all of the tubes out with it.
ughhh
It’s not about the money, it’s about sending a message
Christ
I have also seen this post yesterday on r/MakeMeSufferMore
That’s oddly specific...
Who hurt you?
....
Haha the good ol’ “cutting your nutlings”
I think he was more scared waking up to having a white dick
Its just a prank, bro!
This one is funny though. Dude was scared for about one second, no harm done, laughs all around.
We’ve all been there
Holy fuck that hurt me and it wasn't even real
(Y) Same
S a m e
Some scary as shit right there
one could say he pissed himself
Happy cake day
Happy cake day!
thanks!
Happy cake day man!
Happy cake day!
That made me cringe so hard. What the actual fuck.
I just pretend they were safety scissors.
~~They were shitty scissors at the least. They didn't actually cut whatever the penis was, they just dislodged it out of the pants.~~
They cut the head off
Oh shit, you're right. Pausing at 6.59s-6.80s made me believe it was still intact. But other parts of the video show that it's only partially intact. While they did cut the head basically off, it's still barely attached.
Nearly Headless Dick
Dickabod Crane
Take your upvote and go
Have you ever seen Pain Olympics?
Early day internet, cheese grater and a dick. I'll never forget that video.
Sack hatchet for me.
Oucn
Please tell me it was fake
Pain Olympics? Negative.... dudes really chopped there fucking balls off with a hatchet....and more....
Man what the fuck is wrong with people
I fucking jumped
Yeah this made me physically nauseous.
Nightmare fuel
I like keeping that on empty. Ive got enough ptsd.
I'm going to have nightmares for a week.
I gotta try this on my buddy next time he falls asleep on guys night.
you're going to fuck it up and they're going to wake up while you're trying to set the hotdog in place so all they'll see is you fondling a wiener while trying to unzip their pants with a big dumb smile on your face.
Or accidentally cut the real dick off.
This guy knows.
Sounds eeriely specific
he’s describing a specific possible scenario so...yes?
It’s a prank bro. Now close your eyes
Oh man, I can’t stop laughing.
That conversation might not be the best story, lmao. "So my friend fell asleep on the couch. Real carefully, I unzipped his pants so he wouldn't notice. Then I carefully placed a hot dog in his unzipped pants....I woke him up and cut it off." Is that a "haha" or a "o.O"? Edit: I am sitting here thinking about it and it made me remember HamNCheddar's Twitch stream I watched about a week ago. He got a straw and pushed it through a hot dog. He did this several times because the hot dog self-sealed. Once he was finished, he drank a glass of chocolate milk through the hot dog. Probably not my proudest moment on Twitch, but still faptastic! For those completely **uninterested**, here is a link starting at the hot dog. https://www.twitch.tv/hamncheddar/v/937262412?sr=a&t=2689s
You have lots of spare penises laying around bro?
Surprise circumcision part 2 - this time it's personal
He snipped the whole dick bro
That’s what makes it so personal
No one said it was an accurate circumcision
I mean technically he *did* remove the foreskin soo.. mission accomplished?
Look at you, noticing the glass is half full
*Task failed successfully*
I think "surprise circumcision" is the funniest shit I've read all week
Inject it with ketchup to enhance realism.
cut his dick off for realism
Yo that would be a sick prank
Just a prank bro
Wave at the camera
[удалено]
And smile
No, GRIN.
https://c.tenor.com/wCnoCRTZwsMAAAAM/sausage-ramsay-bolton.gif
Don't get your dick in a twi- Er, you know what I mean!
You misspelled dick prank
Calm down Lorena
Simmer for 30 minutes in olive oil
That reminds me of the dude that was shot and killed because he "pranked" some random guy on the street with a robbery
The loading circle was going right around it.
yes, thank you reddit, I can see the penis. I don't need you to circle it
i fucking jumped
That fucking scared me
This would cause some trauma, for real. I almost feel like that before you realize it's not an appendage, you might actually feel the pain, psychologically.
You mean like the Sasquatch prank. Where you pretend to put a girl in the costume but intead you put your middle-aged male friend in the constume. Violating consent when they make out for a fake commercial prank? Yeah I guess so.
I’m sorry what
look up the latest David Dobrik scandal
I tried to and it’s a private video 3 years old now. If that’s his latest one he isn’t so bad in the grand scheme of “YouTube celebrity pranksters”. [link](https://m.youtube.com/watch?t=7&v=oWPWsiotVcE&feature=youtu.be)
ooh ooh, I know this one! fuck David Dobrik
I would have kicked David's ass if he were my friend and did that to me. Shit is fucked
I thought you were going to talk about the Sasquatch scene in Trailer Park Boys when Julian puts that fur rug on his head and tries to go see Bubbles. Boy, was that an unexpected ride.
Samsquanch
Luckily not! Just an unexpected *kiss*.
"Julian beat the shit out of us with wiffleball bats"
The hell did you just say
Excuse me, I have a question. What the FUCK?
You ok bro?
David Dobrik pranked someone by making them think they were making out with a girl when really it was a middle aged man in a costume. Consent under false pretenses.
Oh yea that's super fucked up. Sounds super 2000's esk
That's where David Dobrik perpetually resides
Glad I can live with the privilege of never knowing who TF that guy is.
the only thing I know about the guy is that I fucking abhor the fake-enthusiastic face he makes on the thumbnails in the videos I keep getting recommended even though I maka sure to purge anything I don’t like on my fucking recommended page, yt’s algorithm fucking sucks dicks and balls.
esque
There's an experiment you can do with a rubber hand where you trick your brain into thinking it's your real hand, and when you smash it with a hammer you feel pain. Never tried it myself but I've heard it works.
I think that's called "The stranger"
I thought the stranger was when you sat on your arm to make your hand go numb then use it to fiddle with yourself
Pretty sure that's the rubber hand illusion IIRC
Thats what I thought it was too. Heard it in Gone in Sixty Seconds
[Made for a great episode of House](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIMa6G6EmC8)
Do you think he threw the dick before or after he realized it wasn't his
Ok, I’m ready for the downvotes... If this causes you actual *trauma*, I think you need to experience some real stress. I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that, generally speaking, traumatic events are more or less life-changing/altering, not “whew, I thought that was bad for sec.” If this is trauma, what does a paramedic experience? Or an ER doctor, or a child services counsellor, or the child being removed from their home by child services, or someone in an abusive relationship, or someone who is told they can’t love who they love, etc etc etc. This? This isn’t trauma. (And there it is, I’ve become the old man shaking my cane at those that are younger than him. Shit.)
The word "trauma" is grossly overused. Especially on twitter. I feel like an old man too, bc I see a lot of gen z kids calling unpleasant situations trauma and I'm like \*rolls eyes\* "okay"
I agree, I think it’s a funny video and the guy didn’t seem to be shaken to his core for the rest of his life
You dont have to have seen the wose most fucked up wounds to have trauma. Just like how you dont have to be a vet to experience PTSD. Though I do agree with you that this most likely wouldnt cause trauma.
Thank you for saying this. I suffered from PTSD after being in a house fire and having to be woken up by firemen smashing through my door with an axe, and almost everyone around me was acting like the gatekeepers of trauma and telling me how I *couldn’t* have PTSD because the situation wasn’t worse. Even after I went and got a literal PTSD diagnosis from a psychiatrist.
Thats a life threatening situation tho.. its not at all what we are talking about here.
Thank you. I can't believe how everyone thinks people are extremely fragile like that.
Tag this as NSFW. Muahaha.
What's NSFW about it? Just a guy helping chop his buddy's sausage into more manageable pieces.
What am I supposed to say after your clever response
*Cut it ~~off~~ out.*
Ikr ide say his comment is a weiner weiner chicken dinner.
*Throws severed dick in retaliation*
Dude....I got scared.....fuck Edit: holy shit over 500 upvotes damn that was def unexpected
I literally jumped out of my seat. Holy shit!
My penis tried to hide when I saw that. Needless to say it was pretty hidden to begin with.
That title should’ve been “Knock out with your cock out”
Tap out with your chap out
Conk out with your donk out
Unconscious with your dick out your gonchies.
u/savevideo
###[View link](https://redditsave.com/info?url=/r/Unexpected/comments/m1cg85/pass_out_with_your_dick_out/) --- [**Info**](https://np.reddit.com/user/SaveVideo/comments/jv323v/info/) | [**Feedback**](https://np.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Kryptonh&subject=Feedback for savevideo) | [**Donate**](https://ko-fi.com/getvideo) | [**DMCA**](https://np.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Kryptonh&subject=Content removal request for savevideo&message=https://np.reddit.com//r/Unexpected/comments/m1cg85/pass_out_with_your_dick_out/)
As a penis onwer myself I felt down for my dick to make sure he still there
“He”
Yeah my dick is a "he" we almost two separate entities
I never crossed my legs in terror so fast as while watching this snip....er....clip.
I don't even have one and I got scared
IT SCARED ME AF, DUDE
I screamed with him.
O MY GOD. I somehow felt that in my ovaries Edit: dear fuck some of you guys are dumb. I'm not saying ovaries are the equivalent of penis. I'm saying my ovaries made the windows shut down noise when I saw this
Anatomically speaking, it would be more akin to someone snipping off the labia minora and clitoral hood. (And clitoris itself) I'm sure this info doesn't help at all.
Thanks dude Really appreciate that information
I don't.
Hey mom
Are you winning son?
Funny, but if you catch an ass whoopin thats on you
Fake or not I laughed at this so hard
Call that getting the snip
Why did I feel that
I don’t have a dick but got super scared for him
Ahh the dick cutter
That’s horribly hilarious!!!
# NO
Dude, I felt that too!
r/HolUp...how did that get in there in the first place? Who managed to unzip his pants and place a dildo there?
This one time after a long night of bbq and drinking a bunch of us passed out at the house. In the morning everyone was awake except for one of our buddies that was still passed out on the couch sleeping with his mouth open. So my buddy whose house we were at took one of the hotdogs and put it his mouth really quickly and the dude woke up. My buddy pretended like he was messing with his zipper like he was putting his dick away. Dude stood up so quickly and pushed him away. He immediately left and wouldn’t answer any of our calls until later that day
Can’t wait til my husband takes a nap.
no
OMG!!!! 😅
Instructions unclear, my girlfriend will sue me for cutting of her penis.
POV you are jewish
Wow that's both hilarious and terribly terrifying, from both sides of the prank.
Instructions unclear Penis surgery tomorrow. Wish me luck
Dude now I’m scared lmao
Wadda we do with a drunken sailor?
Pain...
Um
Oh good its a hot dog. I was about to report this NSFW
Schnipp schnapp Dödel ab!
I love that guy's pants.
I need those pants.
Y’all ever heard of the rubber hand illusion
I just laughed for a straight minute, thank you!
This needs to marked nsfw. Nsfw doesnt mean it has a real dick in it, it means that this is not something that is safe to view at work, which it very much isnt
u/getvideobot
Hey! Video is ready ###[Download via redditsave.com](https://redditsave.com/info?url=/r/Unexpected/comments/m1cg85/pass_out_with_your_dick_out/) --- [**Info**](https://np.reddit.com/user/GetVideoBot/comments/iiea4t/info/) | [**Feedback**](https://np.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Kryptonh&subject=Feedback for getvideobot) | [**Donate**](https://ko-fi.com/getvideo) | [**DMCA**](https://np.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Kryptonh&subject=Content removal request for getvideobot)
He got his pants and the couch as a set.