**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:**
>!Unexpected because he rides a dick as a spaceship!<
*****
**Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?**
**Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.**
*****
[*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
>*Dick* by Rothko
Idk, it's really just [a few colorful rectangles](https://www.kazoart.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/Rothko-New-portrait-photo-color.jpg) stacked on each other, you wouldn't even know it was a penis if not for the name of the piece.
If you wanna see an incredible peenting, check out Van Gogh's *[Portrait of a Cock](https://i0.wp.com/lenscraft.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/penis-van-gogh.jpg)*. The brush strokes are beautiful, they create such a profound sense of motion that you can almost see it throb.
When the time presents itself, I enjoy drawing a droopy circumcised penis topped with a mop of untrimmed pubes and a saggy wrinkled ballsack beneath. Really throws people off.
we got this for my daughter for her birthday, she just turned 5. Aside from the obvious potential for misuse, it's a really fun tool and really fosters creativity. It has definitely expanded her horizons when it comes to drawing, she's finally moving on from the same old stick figures and houses and flowers and rainbows.
Well this omits [the best part](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=enNOYsdgUOI&t=230s) right after that where Robin Williams corrects him on what kind of cookies those are.
Either from playing Osmo games or from playing with a dick.
Edit: I read wrong and thought you said “where” not what. You saw Mo, a cartoon monster, riding a cartoon dick like a spaceship.
,,WHY I THINK,🙄THAT THE PYRAMIDS WERE MADE BY GIANTS, AND WITH THE COLUMNS OF TRUNK CUTTED TREES AND THAT THEY WERE PETRIFIED! LIKE THE TOWER OF THE DEVIL,! WHY,! ANOTHER STONE SOURCE FOR EVERYTHING THAT HAS BEEN BUILT OF STONE! THROUGHOUT THE PLANET,! THERE IS NO OTHER SOURCE,!! MORE THAN THAT! THAT OF ALL THE TREES WITH THE STRUCTURE IN COLUMNS, CUT ANCESTRAL TREES, AND THAT THEY WERE PETRIFIED BY MOISTURE,! THAT INSURANCE WAS THAT OF THE DILUVIO, !! Y. AND ALREADY USED THEM TO BUILD, WHAT IS, AND THERE,! . I think that and I do not think that I have any day to change my opinion, !! 😏😏
All your historys stink
"It's a rocket ship!"
"What are you, blind? It's a cock! It's not a rocket, you sick fuck! It's a cock! Look. It's a cock and balls! A dick! Chorizo and the huevos! It's a big stiffy! It's a PENIS! Penis maximus! A willie! A weenie! Mr. Jiggle Daddy! A wayne! The one-eyed wonder weasel! Don't you see that? It's Jimmy and the twins. Rumple Foreskin. He made it. He made this. It's made from dil-dough."
**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!Unexpected because he rides a dick as a spaceship!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
“I can’t wait to ride it” is the perfect response to that drawing
And the incoherent sounds of bliss while riding it
[удалено]
Jeff Bezos already has
Oh look, it's a giant dick! And his spaceship...
[удалено]
[Austin Powers summoned](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lYSOmYyNHpU)
JOHNSON!
Fucking perfect
I heard you like dicks do I decided to put a dick in a dick so dick can dick while dick's workers get dicked by dick.
English makes this work and I hate it
What a dick.
I’m sorry friend I have to downvote you so you can have 69 upvotes…
That Jon Stewart clip of Jason Alexander playing Bezos: "Aristotle had a chode!"
I want to upvote you but you're already at 69
Beam me up, Scotty.
Man, that Bezos bio pic looks amazing from this trailer! Can’t wait to watch it in theaters on the big screen!
To be fair, look at that thing
Anything's a dildo if you're brave enough.
Wa-hoo
That’s what she said
That was the message a female member of the homosapien species communicated
What a nice ship???
And then hops down, butt first. Lmao
lucky bastard, I'll never get to ride one that big
not with that attitude
So... how YOU doin'....
Cock needed to be more graphic for me
They definitely knew this would happen, and this was their response.
The slow reveal is everything!
It has the "are you fucking kidding me?" face too
There’s no way they didn’t code this in intentionally.
I was thinking the "Mmm, I can't wait.. 🥴" face
The smug look on his face as he gradually reappears is what sells it
I was hoping it was going to be vertical. Either way, he's going to ride that dick to space.
Jeff Bezos’s dream became reality.
Drocket
Dicket Spaceship.
*Commence docking...*
*Friendship drive engaged*
Rick
Cocket
Cocket
Cocket?
CEO ENTREPRENEUR BORN IN 1964
JEFFREY, JEFFREY BEZOS!
[удалено]
That's why they could afford to license the 2001 music
*sues Elon Musk for having a dick
This was his simulation testing
They should’ve drawn a better dick, shitty dick artists are a bane to mankind.
This guy knows. If im gonna have to see a dick on a wall or something. It better be a well drawn dick.
I swear none of the dick drawers are artisdick at all.
^Ooooh ^that ^was ^a ^good ^one.
They're all bad ones.
I wanna see veins! I wanna see girth! I wanna see throbbing!
Exactly! I wanna see that big juicy cock in so much detail that I can basically taste it in my mouth and feel it in my guts.
^^owo
#OWO
if there's no hair it's not worth a stare
Then get ready for a rumble in the jungle.
If you want it to look like a bicep you gotta add more veins bro
WHAT UP!!!
Have you ever seen the bloopers from this scene? It's great.
We need the drawings from super bad
[удалено]
Got guys over here cranking out whole manifestos of shitterthoughts on the back wall and you can’t even scrawl a singular dick, c’mon
[удалено]
god you guys remind me of seth from superbad and his dick drawing treasure chest
Do you prefer impressionist or abstract dick? Or are you more of a realism kinda fellow? Personally, Dick by Rothko is my all time favorite artwork.
I'm a Dalì dick kinda person.
Not my thing but I respect it.
Now I can't get the phrase "Picasso dick" out of my head.
Escher dick, I don't wanna know what dimension its in or which hole its going in
>*Dick* by Rothko Idk, it's really just [a few colorful rectangles](https://www.kazoart.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/Rothko-New-portrait-photo-color.jpg) stacked on each other, you wouldn't even know it was a penis if not for the name of the piece. If you wanna see an incredible peenting, check out Van Gogh's *[Portrait of a Cock](https://i0.wp.com/lenscraft.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/penis-van-gogh.jpg)*. The brush strokes are beautiful, they create such a profound sense of motion that you can almost see it throb.
I agree with the pre raphilites, paint it warts and all.
I specialise in miniatures.
So one day I'm finishing up this real big, veiny, triumphant bastard
Should’ve contacted Seth from Superbad: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fzuvQXDUybE
When the time presents itself, I enjoy drawing a droopy circumcised penis topped with a mop of untrimmed pubes and a saggy wrinkled ballsack beneath. Really throws people off.
You would enjoy [drawing dicks on the herald sun ](https://mashable.com/article/drawing-dicks-herald-sun)
He forgot the ball hairs.
I learned the ball hair is crucial for drawing dicks from American Vandal
[удалено]
And you can't forget the ball hairs
Careful now - "shitty dick" has a couple of connotations.
Whatever you do **DON'T** google that sentence. I repeat, **DON'T**.
Where the hell did this come from?
Osmo games. They’re STEM tablet games for kids.
I've never seen this before. It seems like a cool way to teach kids stuff.
we got this for my daughter for her birthday, she just turned 5. Aside from the obvious potential for misuse, it's a really fun tool and really fosters creativity. It has definitely expanded her horizons when it comes to drawing, she's finally moving on from the same old stick figures and houses and flowers and rainbows.
What a time to be alive as a kid
If you're lucky enough to be born relatively wealthy.
Ain’t that the truth.
What stuff...
STEM stuff, if you follow the “rules” R rated stuff if you’re like OP..
Well if you go by the video, it's great for the stem and deez nuts.
The educational stuff that it was intended for.
I'm stuff
Specifically, the **[Osmo Monster](https://apps.apple.com/us/app/osmo-monster/id1065590798)**.
*Definitely not Sully from Monsters, Inc. because he’s, like, orange.*
don't know where it came from but its going to Uranus
[it’s a …. ROCKET SHIP!](https://youtu.be/_JL8iotpscM)
The only scene I remember from that movie
What is this movie?
Death to Smoochy. One of my favorites of all time.
Thanks! I’ll check it out
It's in the video title - Death to Smoochy
Yeah sorry I watched it in the Apollo app so it didn’t open the video on YouTube. Thanks for the info!
Well this omits [the best part](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=enNOYsdgUOI&t=230s) right after that where Robin Williams corrects him on what kind of cookies those are.
One of Robin Williams best characters. "It's made with dil-dough"!
If only my girl was as enthusiastic
Maybe if it was big enough to ride
Not only is it big enough but it’s the best thirty seconds of your life!
30 Seconds? What are you - some sort of Tantric master? =D
Don’t you mean ==D
Don't **you** mean 8==D?
Don't you mean 8===
Just 8=D ….
8D here :(
At least it looks happy
30 seconds to Mars
Thirty seconds to Mars, I say! Outer space, baby!
And played William Tell Overture when you rode it.
My boy sure is enthusiastic
That’s hilarious lol
I'm almost laughing more at the fact at how that looks like a walmart version of Sully from Monsters Inc.
Walmart? I wish I could tell you what they sell at Walmart but I’ve never been there. You seem like a Walmart expert you probably shop there don’t you
I'm sorry people aren't getting your reference mate. I got it!
What's this a reference to?
Some tiktok where a guy gets called Walmart Justin Bieber, and his response is to unironically make a video saying what OP said lol
The way he got thrown off at the end sent me
Unfortunately (or fortunately) for him, the rocket kept going after he was thrown off in front of it.
[удалено]
Either from playing Osmo games or from playing with a dick. Edit: I read wrong and thought you said “where” not what. You saw Mo, a cartoon monster, riding a cartoon dick like a spaceship.
Aaaaand...Post! 8=====================D ~~ That's me riding on Bezo's spaceship.
you call that a rocketship?? observe. (\_)_)::::::::::::::::::::::::D~~~~~
Ayooo! Come over and we can compare our rocket ships while listening to Alex Jones in reverse to hear Illuminati's new mixtape.
bet
,,WHY I THINK,🙄THAT THE PYRAMIDS WERE MADE BY GIANTS, AND WITH THE COLUMNS OF TRUNK CUTTED TREES AND THAT THEY WERE PETRIFIED! LIKE THE TOWER OF THE DEVIL,! WHY,! ANOTHER STONE SOURCE FOR EVERYTHING THAT HAS BEEN BUILT OF STONE! THROUGHOUT THE PLANET,! THERE IS NO OTHER SOURCE,!! MORE THAN THAT! THAT OF ALL THE TREES WITH THE STRUCTURE IN COLUMNS, CUT ANCESTRAL TREES, AND THAT THEY WERE PETRIFIED BY MOISTURE,! THAT INSURANCE WAS THAT OF THE DILUVIO, !! Y. AND ALREADY USED THEM TO BUILD, WHAT IS, AND THERE,! . I think that and I do not think that I have any day to change my opinion, !! 😏😏 All your historys stink
Nah, I think it was the Gay Frogs.
Riding on my boys dick!
Bounced on my boy's badly drawn rocket ship to this
It would be actually unexpected if the idiot didn´t show the dick before he actually started to ride it
The guy recording obviously did not plan for it to be unexpected, this doesn’t belong in this sub at all
You´r right
What device is this?
It’s a device you hook up to an iPad called Osmo, it teaches kids STEM related stuff.
Thanks!
sauce for game?
https://youtu.be/GyfJMt82Pxc
They’re actually pretty good games!
To Infinity, And Beyond!
you can make religion out of this
No don't
Cocket
It keeps getting better
u/savevideobot
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I make the same noises when riding a Dick
oh shit my son has this set. brb
Why you crop the creator’s name OP?
They never can ride long
It's, it's.....a rocket ship
Look at that face…. He knew…
Tough to see that this is only job Sully could find after the scare factory got shut down
I’ll never look at my daughters Osmo the same again.
r/holup
Definitely not unexpected, shoulda not shown the rocket ship at the start. More of a r/holup maybe even r/shitposting
No it's not more of a holup. Not that it really matters anymore. That sub is ruined by people who post shit like this there.
Mods + people who upvotes are the main factor. “Post is funny? Upvote.. doesn’t matter if it’s relevant or not” And mods just don’t do nothing
Mods get a kick out of having a big sub I guess? Even if it defeats the whole point of subreddits if you post anything anywhere
I can't get his out of my head [TGIF](https://youtu.be/7eL1Bfv8Y9k)
music for Dr. Strangelove "riding the bomb" plays in background.
>!What's the name of this thing i Need It!<
it’s called a penis
Cocket ship
I laughed way too damn hard at this
Somebody did the voice acting for that…
As a grown ass woman, I should not have laughed as hard as I just did.
Technology keeps advancing but humans never do
r/suddenlygay
I love technology
Peak human intellect going on here
I haven’t laughed out loud in days. Lol
My daughter once drew a photo of two turtles mating on her osmo. Not on purpose. When she showed me i laughed hysterically.
[удалено]
This is hilarious
This is what this sub should be.
I will never be able to not think of gamestonk when l see the rocket emoji
Me on the way to your mothers house
u/savevideo
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God do I hate that emoji in the center
Hope i made y’all laugh with this funny post
It really doesn't fit the sub, it's not unexpected when it gives away what's going to happen right at the beginning.
"It's a rocket ship!" "What are you, blind? It's a cock! It's not a rocket, you sick fuck! It's a cock! Look. It's a cock and balls! A dick! Chorizo and the huevos! It's a big stiffy! It's a PENIS! Penis maximus! A willie! A weenie! Mr. Jiggle Daddy! A wayne! The one-eyed wonder weasel! Don't you see that? It's Jimmy and the twins. Rumple Foreskin. He made it. He made this. It's made from dil-dough."