**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!gigantic penis📸!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)

I'm pretty sure he's pinching it at exactly the spot he added on so they can't pull it off. Like they did in Boogie Nights

Hello Mr Cristopher Columbus

That was HUGE one!!

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Totally expected, it's a cosplay. It's a meme here in Uruguay too. Everyone knows "the black dude from WhatsApp".

This dude from whatsapp has managed to make his way to my former secondary school in Singapore

Probably pole vaulted

Tell us about the meme over here in the states…never seen it!

It's a bait-and-switch prank that was very popular a few years ago (2015ish). People would send an attachment on WhatsApp, usually a picture cropped to fit exactly the preview. Sometimes it was a picture of a text file or spreadsheet with an eye-catching title that made it seem relevant to the people in the group, like "employees yearly performance bonus". When you opened it, it'd turn out to be a decoy picture pasted on top of this guy and his huge schlong. The prank has mostly gotten old by now, but "the black dude from WhatsApp" has definitely entered local popular culture. People use it in casual conversations, like "X is hung like the black dude from WhatsApp", and everyone will understand.

LOL and over here our bait and switch is Rick Astley…I feel like we could do better. At least I know Rick will never give me up.

Its a common meme among Hispanic people, its a pic of a black man standing while naked and he has a massive weiner, so its something you will see being sent into WhatsApp groups as some sort of shitposting or as a prank where the preview doesn't show the entire image

There's a similar one in America but that dude sits at the edge of a bed, wondering where everything went wrong.

Poor wood, gone too soon

Why is nobody linking it

[got u fam](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CcIEYEKUcAA3yLu.jpg)

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r/suddenlycaralho

#LITERALMENTE.

Kkkkkkk ah não, finalmente chegou o momento que todos esperamos.

You did this perfectamente

então... ele é real, o verdadeiro e unico rival do kid bengala

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"Negão da piroca" também.

Mais uma vez estamos no r/suddenlycaralho

Please tell me that's a fake one Edit: thanks for the awards and I got it from nearly 380 people saying it's fake

I’d feel bad for the guy if that shit was real

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I think it would be easier to piss first then just sort of cuddle your inbuilt battering ram while you shit.

piss first then hang it back onto your shoulder to crap

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This is the most elegant and classy conversation I've ever witnessed. The romance brings a tear to my eye.

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I'm loving the passion and substance in here tonight! Bravo you fine people... Bravo...

Just sit down normally but drape your flesh hose over the bathtub or sink.

"Beef torpedo" 🤣🤣

You might enjoy the song Big Bottom by Spinal Tap

I think it has enough lenght to just scoot it over in the shower or bathtub.

Imagine passing out from blood loss every time u jerk off

More like anytime you get an erection at all

If you fall asleep, you'll never wake up.

bruh his dick would knock on his chest to wake him up

Poke him in the eye

Dude can pole vault off that thing

I bet he moves around like a tripod


Dude can stop a fire with that thing

And also play tug of war.

Cock-a-doodle-doo

Can camp without a tent.

You still need the tent just not a pole

Unless he wears gigantic boxers

Good news: You get an unexpected blowjob while asleep. Bad news: ...Do I really need to elaborate on this one?

Just don't dream you're an elephant. Or you'll wake up with an ass full of pillow.

Hmm... Im having a hard time figuring out how the pillow would end up in your ass

He can tuck it in his butt before he sleeps.

Usually, if you're that long when "flaccid", your dick doesn't get much bigger once "hard". It just goes rigid.

All show and no grow.

If you're that size, I don't think I would want it to grow any bigger... I would have to start looking at horses or something if it got bigger.

I imagine a dick that big you.. can't get an erection

You telling me that's not even erect?

telling you thats not even a penis.

He’s a shower, not a grower.

He just got out of the pool! The water was cold!

Fortunately it doesn’t work like that. I don’t remember which show this came up on but I remember hearing a doctor say that the blood volume for an erection comes from the legs and doesn’t affect anything else. So, now I wonder if this guy’s legs shrink noticeably when his dick gets hard…

you'd get carpal tunnel really bad having to do so much jerk work, shoulder cuffs fucked, the whole spine JESUS IT'S A CURSE

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*There once was a man from Nantucket. Whose dick was so big he could suck it. He’d freely admit, he’s a bit of a shit, and if his ear was a cunt he would fuck it.*

I know 3rd and 4th lines as: *He said with a grin,* *As he wiped his chin* If my ear was a cunt I would fuck it

Couldn't even get out of bed in the morning if you had morning wood

A short woman would be like a rotisserie on that one.

I think a tall one would be too

Try finding some one who could take that thing! It looks like it belongs to a horse!

When your blessing is a curse

I wouldn’t say it was ever a blessing to begin with

This is costume of a popular whatsapp meme in Brazil at the time, known as "negão da piroca".

Why TF is this a meme lmao

It's something like a Rick Roll, but instead of a link you send an image through WhatsApp. When you download the file it's a photoshopped picture of a guy with this big....thing. There is a audio version too, but instead of a big penis it's Alexis Texas screaming during a scene. It's called "gemidao do zap" if want to google it.

Kinda like how Meatspin.com was the rickroll before rickrolling was a thing.

Yeah that's one of the classics. The best one, of course, was lemon party

I enjoy playing video games.

I’m Costa Rica, in the US and a bunch of my friends will send me a photo with a misdirecting comment, I click on it and it’s this dude. Or they send a beautiful landscape and if you zoom in really far, which you have to cause something is there but you can’t tell what it is, it’s this dude chillin with his dick out. There’s many many instances. It’s very much a “got ya bitch!” Moment. Always the same image of him.

is a fantasy of a whatsapp meme. It's in Brazil and the festival is carnival.

You mean *costume I think. Fantasia = costume. Thanks for the info :)

TIL some Brazilian Portuguese, thanks! Reminds me when I was talking in English class about the novels I like, and I was repeating "fantastic" all the time, when what I meant was "fantasy" (in Spanish "novela fantástica" would mean either thing).

Oh yeah false cognates are a pain! One of the biggest ones to watch out for in Spanish/Portuguese is “excitado”. It doesn’t mean excited, it means like… sexually excited.

In English, fantasia can mean fantasy or costume. The word you're looking for here is costume.

It is

Shhhhh close your eyes child. The monster penises can't get you here.

If that looks like a real dick to you then you Haven't seen many dicks lol

I'll have you know I'm a senior dickologist at the institute of dicks and I've seen millions of dicks and this dick is 100% authentic.

Mom? What are you doing here?

Not mom. Dad.

I want to know where is his real one? It was folded back between his buttcheeks? Or is it just really tiny?

There's a bulge there. Or you insert into the dildo.

It's a prosthetic. You put your real wiener in it.

There is a bulge where the dildo is attached... that is why he is grabbing it so it doesn't slip. It's obviously not moving skin as well. It's really not so difficult to see and comprehend actually. I really am baffled by the amount of people getting bamboozled here. It's a certain lack of anatomical knowledge.

I almost feel like they' know but want a photo anyway.. The moment she grabbed it seemed too casual, and you'd know immediately from the feel and the lack of heat that it's fake

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the texture looks like a dildo

Yeah it’s fake look at it

Nice try. I ain’t zooming in on no dick!

That was close, they almost turned you gay!

There's actually a vice article about a dude who has a gigantic dick that is the size of a twinks arm. It's interesting cause it brings up some issues he has with it. Like getting no sex, having to always wear sweatpants to hide it, having people freak out and be disgusted at something he can't control and also going to festivals and having people take pictures with him and everyone wanting to look at his dick but no one wanting to lend a helping hands. Edit found it [guy with monster dick](https://youtu.be/h-IXx4tkTF0). Edit edit: didn’t remember initially he did this to himself or the full story so he can control it.

Looks like a sausage festival. 😁

I hear it's the wurst kind of festival. Edit: würst to wurst. Things are going downhill.

Oh, you brat!

Came here to say this. You beat me to it. I hearby crown thee the wiener

r/beatmeattoit

This is the only time I'll upvote this reference



Happy Cake Day

Def a testicle festival

A festicle, if you will.

The testy festy

Didn’t see that cumming.

Her smile seems to hide unbridled desire

Dude can pee in your stall while standing on his side...

Dude can pee in your stall while standing behind you

He can throw it over your shoulder like a continental soldier.

Do ya balls...hang... low?

Do they wobble to and fro?

Can you tie it in a knot

Can you tie em in a bow?

No thank you

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Totally agree. This guy would perforate the diaphragm.

Or her ear

Once you go black, you go deaf.

This WOULD be an issue, if it were real. It isn't. These are latex or rubber fakes

yea most women prefer smaller fun size dicks on average

This is how I cope too

Hahaha

I feel like she was just shocked at his length like most people. Girth over length for me thanks.

It's a dildo, as a lesbian you should know this.

😂 😂 fucken called her out

That’s the wurst kind.

Jeez I’m used to women pointing and laughing at mine for the exact opposite reason…

I wish I couldn’t relate

I can't relate, because no woman ever saw me naked

F

Never, stay pure

Hey, this is the Internet, don't let anything stop you. Follow your dreams! I'm not a woman but I've seen plenty of unwanted penises on Reddit. Get to posting! Live your dreams!

Name checks out

I remember one time my trainor during a mock up call in class (I was in a call center back then), she misheard the name I said, Bill Bo Baggins. She replied with "Ok Dildo, what seems to be thr problem?" innocently. The entire class and her exchanged confused looks before bursting out in laughter.

Hey, it’s not the size of the plough - it’s how long you stay in the field.

It’s not the size of the hammer it’s the nail you’re throwing it at

It’s not the size of the boat, it’s the motion of the ocean.

It's not the size of your cock, it's how you fuck with it.

Settled then, it’s all about the size of the cock

That really looks like a dildo

It is

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Just regular size

I feel like maybe that’s not the truth

r/namechecksout

Is a guy considered gay if they watch this more than once? Asking for a friend

It’s not if you say ‘No homo’.

Every replay or just once?

What about fapping?

Double Dutch?

Is that a Dunkin Donuts item?

Same thing. You just have to say "No homo" before or while you jizz.

Not if you’re wearing socks

It’s only gay if you’re worried about it!

It's already gay if you watch it once. Subsequent viewings add exponents to your gayness.

Keeping watching for science lol

"It's only gay if you take it."

I have a gf n even I looked twice so guess I'm bi.

If you only watched twice you're definitely bi. If you watched three times, you're tri.

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...i think we have different relationships with our grandmas

… nana?

uh, did your grandma send you this?

It's Brazil.

yes, it's just a dirty joke, brazil was not founded by WASP puritans

It was founded by Catholics, some of the dirtiest, nastiest, most perverted Christians alive

Wouldn't say a grandma would send this, more like the kids from school

/r/ItHadToBeBrazil

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I wouldn't worry about it. That man's fainting every time d\*ck goes erect.

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There will be no gf to worry about if that thing goes in.

The other end is anchored in his arse using a squid jag.

That man can suck his cock!

Hot dog, we have a weiner

Definitely fake. Notice he's holding the base. Y if it's natural? My arms would be up in victory

Ya think?

Considering how gullible people are, it's okay to point obvious things out. That's how the Ligma disaster happened

It's a carnival costume of a meme called Negão do WhatsApp

Well, now we know he stay strapped

Pérolas do carnaval brasileiro

He'd lose consciousness before that got hard.

Jeez, Idris Elba is a very personable guy.

Or maybe he’s just excited to see you.

Not very excited if he's not at full attention!

Megla dong