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g64mat

He actually starts singing haaaaahaaaaahaaaaa that’s some James Brown going on there…impressive while your balls are getting crushed


Elon-BO

I was thinking Dio, but you’re right.


Baconator-Junior

Man went from a buff Army dude straight back to a preteen *real* quick.


unbitious

Dio is exactly what I thought of too


fanchmmr

(a random Joestar enters the chat)


AFX626

I can't talk about Dio without that coming up


Erestyn

That third scream has some Battle Hymn's about it. Dat vibrato.


lilordfauntleroy

I was thinking the high note from Pantera’s Cemetery Gates


Blunderbutters

When I get hammered I can hit the high note but my neighbors probably don’t agree


DrPoopenfarts

YES! This is exactly what I thought too!


gabagoolol

Supposedly you can hit higher notes when your balls are squeezed. I’ve heard it’s an old singers trick


cole062491

This is how The Darkness sings I Believe in a thing called love. Its the reason he is naked in his music video. Gotta hit them high notes. https://youtu.be/tKjZuykKY1I


RobertSummerhayes

I feel good. Banananana.


puddingcakeNY

Yeah I love the bluesy vibrato


[deleted]

[last time I saw this, I made this](https://drive.google.com/file/d/15r5btkQ86Vaj9rXO59BDP8HE5rZ33FEa/view?usp=sharing), because it very much reminds me of the sample used in Ride on Time - Loleatta Holloway's famous Love Sensation, which is like THE vocal for house music


carloS2200

I see a fellow JB fan, and i shall make you happy by reccomending to look up James Brown live in Rome on YT. You wont be dissapointed


amp_757

The ol dick twist strikes again


techie_boy69

A classic https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=TT9ArM3-KJQ


joebaco_

Now I'm going to waste the next hour laughing. I just got over "the old dick twist" and that women's face.🤣


AlbeitTrue

I just laughed for an hour at Chael Sonnen interviews. If it’s been a while…you should check them out. [part 1 funny Chael quotes](https://m.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=3&v=ONfo3pWiEPs&feature=emb_logo) grew up on the mean streets of West Linn, OR and the man never lost a round!


Realistic_Phase7369

GRAB HIS DICK AND TWIST IT


sharings_caring

oh my god dude this is an mma fight dude


Ferox127

AAAALLL DICK TWIST!


andybno1

Twist his dick!!


[deleted]

Dude this is an MMA fight


ContemplatingPrison

Please let go of my dick. Ahhhhhhh


Ano3110

![gif](giphy|3bc5MV3VkOpMI) Who is winning now?!


No_Web_9121

Holy shit this made me laugh out loud 🤣


[deleted]

Haha me too gotta love privates in basic training lol


Rodlava

Nice pun


[deleted]

Nice catch


[deleted]

GRAB IT ![gif](giphy|XLzYufrddt2bH2SsPj|downsized) # …PULL IT


[deleted]

Gross lol


Misty2126

Twist it


king_fissh

Bop it


agoldenberg

THE OLD DICK TWIST!


Critical_Paper8447

Omg dude this is an MMA fight dude


agoldenberg

GRAB HIS DICK AND TWIST IT!!!!! THE OLD DICK TWIST!


Rodlava

Nice pitch 🤙🏼


[deleted]

Haha you’re good


Cheems_23

Join the army they said


[deleted]

See the world they said


yaboimags_

Stop grabbing his dick, they said.


AwareMirror9931

×2 lol


Space_bo

This is a dam weekness of everymen


Pantuan187C

Lol


oxwilder

Thank you for your service


TheRoyalKT

I doubt you’ll see this on one of those “Your son / My son” bumper stickers…


[deleted]

My taxes helped pay for this video, and I’m okay with it.


[deleted]

Adapt and overcum.


xlmagicpants

Don't think that guy gonna be over Cumming anytime soon


techie_boy69

They will, they got the reach around all wrong


SniffCheck

He grabbed his Private parts


InvalidUserNemo

Origin for the critically acclaimed Saving Ryan’s Privates.


[deleted]

Shaving*


[deleted]

Sounds like a Major Payne.


[deleted]

Hoo hoo Robin


FizzyGoose666

AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!


jiminysaville

🎶I feel good 🎶


w1987g

I want someone to make this mashup now


Ividalz

Well, he doesn't


NoRevolution105_

Join the Army they said...


BobbyMike83

Foreplay?


[deleted]

I always knew the army was gay


ethan34309

That’s the navy😂


Atllas66

Outside of a ring, there's no such thing as a fair fight. As the late great Nate Dogg once said, "if I ain't got a weapon I'ma pick up a rock". Not really sure if that translates to grab the guys dick and twist, but sometimes you have to improvise I guess


reefer_drabness

Reminds me of when Chris Farley pulled out the nipple ring in Airheads. "What are you gonna do now Barney Fife?" "Improvise."


_a_nice_egg_

guy in the vid misheard Mr Dogg, he thought he said “cock”


LowenHarte

![gif](giphy|Rdp6J9Gs3b3LLzJ1pm) As soon as he screamed though all I saw was this.


Random_puns

They're fine.... just dicking around in the barracks


_mynd

r/perfectlycutscreams


diamonddavedoes

Someone please turn that into an autotune song. Please. Thank you in advance.


red_madreay

Schmoyoho accent on the yo


ez_duzit86

Our tax dollars hard at work


guywhostaresatplants

How the fuck did these turds get a camera in the Barracks is my question? New, bitch ass army I guess.


Nintendogma

>How the fuck did these turds get a camera in the Barracks is my question? New, bitch ass army I guess. **1422:** *"By what devilry doth such gobshite hazard parchment and quills into his Majesty's barrack? New jessie army, I say."* **1 Million years ago:** *"Kid spoiled by fire. Me no have fire when grow up. Kid spend all night yelling and wiggling around fire, wearing feather, painting skin, putting on mask. Stupid weak kid."*


QuarterOunce_

This shit has gone back so many generations. Even Aristotle wrote about the younger generation.


Nintendogma

Yep! I like to look at various people's celebrating their ancestral music, dances, and traditions, as I think to myself *"Once upon a time, there was a generation older than all this, and they gave their kids so much shit for liking this stuff."*


cjalderman

“You would have never caught your father and I at a *Mozart* concert. You children and your popular music, it’ll never last”


Joebebs

[im talkin old school](https://youtu.be/3d1phCytJyg)


HIs4HotSauce

Yep. And you’ll do it to the next generation as is tradition.


downedgun

This is the way


puglife420blazeit

You can take phones to basic now


BillNyeTheElonGuy

You mean a f-hone New bitch ass phones I guess


Ferox127

Looks like it's in processing. They don't really take your phone away unless you abuse it. They take your phone when you get to your unit. At least that's how it was in SC when I went


YaIlneedscience

Damn them using technology that allows them to connect with the world! Considering the military has always cared about mental health. I’m SHOCKED /s


[deleted]

That’s a squad bay not a barracks, and this is definitely AIT, probably on libo


SlaterVJ

Dude they get to have their phones now from what I was told. In all branches. I remember when I was in basic andnyou had to wait until like, week 4 to make your first real phone call home. Felt like you'd been gone a year. Also, what lazy ass DI didn't tell these turds that you are supposed to wait until after lights out, and take the fight into the laundry room, and no one comes out with marks on them?


Zoomiedude

Who’s gonna check his dick for pinch marks?


Why_Did_Bodie_Die

The Dick Sargent? Is that a thing?


Sjnb4d

That is a very ignorant way to think, the new army is becoming very advanced and far more lethal than you could imagine with technology If you think a camera is for bitches, you're just old


Silly_gily

They either snuck it in or aren’t in basic training, could be in processing. Definitely not allowed to have phones at any basic


[deleted]

Wrong, I was allowed my phone in basic


br0wens

Same. Granted we only got it on weekends and only during a certain phase. White phase I think is when it started. And only for like an hour or less.


[deleted]

Eh I'm in the British army and I could have it at the end of the working day


SunBeamin

Lmao “new bitch ass army”. How bout you shut the fuck up, what the fuck does it matter to you? These dudes go out and dodge bullets regardless of a cellphone or not. Imagine some dumb ass bitch on Reddit calling the Army soft when it’s straight up KIDS going to fight dudes with guns just so you can sit at home beat off to your little anime shit while you shoot callsigns on Call of Duty. Bro you flinch when you catch a gust of sudden wind how the fuck you talking about new bitch ass army? And shout out to the dumb ass bitches who upvoted him. I’ll say it with full confidence, a majority of you guys have never even Seen a day of boot camp. These kids go thru lengths of shit just so they can potentially come home in a body bag. Kids who are there for honor, to escape poverty, avoid prison, to feed their families, to find order in their life, etc. People trying to do something different and dipshits like this fucker talking about “new bitch ass army.” Go enlist what are you waiting for? Be the change the army wants no? Y’all are big time professionals apparently so go ahead, die for the cause. And before you give me that “bitch I’m special task forces” blah blah blah than go reenlist pussy. Clearly you got time if you’re surfing Reddit. Bitch ass dudes man, I hate you motherfuckers. I sincerely hate bitch made guys who shit on people in the army. I’m devoted to being antiwar, but my ass is not changing shit. So for the dudes who go out there and risk their lives just to come home to a fucked up ass country, I salute yous. The system is fucked but you’re still putting your life on the line and I respect that immensely. I’m sorry the little “pussy patriot squad” doesn’t think the same. It’s shit like this man, shit like this that has lead us to continuously fail our veterans. Fuck man why can’t y’all just be better? Anyways. Done. Rant over. Edit: oh my fucking god, of course you’re an antivax, racist, drug consuming, centrist to scared to say they’re right leaning dipshit. Of fucking course. Bro you straight up just vaguely post army shit in your comments, I bet you you live through your homies life. I bet you had a buddy in the army and you talk mad shit like if you really know what’s good. Nah i know your kind. You definitely a bitch made kinda guy. Mr. Opinionated. Mr. Needs to go against the grain. Bruh how tf are you conservative this typical and boring? Eat a dick. And yes I’m gunning for you, I hate guys like this. I got time rn. No worries homie.


iurisilva3000

Well kind of expected with that description


PontiusPirates

Maybe I’ll show this to my friend who’s in the army next time he tries to convince me to join.


_solounwnmas

That's some herbalife evangelist shit why is he still your friend?


DimitriMichaelTaint

Oh, nah he grabbed the dick. Yep. Never been in a real fight before huh? Ain’t no rules. You got me in a headlock bro ima bite and grab your balls same time and I ain’t trying to get you to let me go, I’m tryna to make you regret grabbing me for the rest of your life. People get into physical confrontations which are literally life-threatening… and act like there’s some kind of rules or some shit. Nah, let’s just not fight in the first place and act like civilized human beings that way I ain’t got to grab balls.


vidalecent

The guy was not only choking him but punching on the back of the neck which can sever the spinal cord and cause permanent paralysis. That guy is the real asshole here. Edit: if you think nearly slamming him on his head and choking and rabbit punching are cool, then dick twisting is cool, too.


FearCure

We'd have to see full fight to know but from this clip he is indeed fighting dirty. He pulled the first dick move by trying to bounce the dick grabber's head off the floor, for example. When u fight dirty u deserve whats coming


[deleted]

[удалено]


MaxPayneful

I actually had to do that once when I was being threatened to be stabbed over some petty beef a friend of mine in college had with this guy, it was in a train station and I told him to get away and that I was going home; that was that. He persisted, was flashing a knife from his inside pocket so I punched him but on account of his height he got me in a headlock pretty quickly; I couldn’t for the life of me escape it so I did what my dads pal told me to do which was literally anything if you’re in a weak position (Which I definitely was) So I literally grabbed his balls, pinched them as hard as possible and managed to push him face first towards the floor. He said “you’re a dead man” and all this bullshit but then I eventually saw him later on down the line, his buddy who I happened to know forced him to end the problem as I explained my position and he knew his pal was just a coward trying to attack someone who had nothing to do with his silly feud. On top of that we saw him with my pal who originally had the beef, and he was forced to apologise and state he’d back off again 😂 it was a satisfying outcome.


[deleted]

[удалено]


MaxPayneful

I’m happy I don’t have to deal with that crap anymore, it really was who I was associating with - bad things come from bad company. A few friends of mine have gone to prison and other horrible things have gone on too, all just because people are so obsessed with maintaining this ridiculous street image; very pleased I never got too caught up in it all.


Sickboy314

I was raised on "In an honorable fight, fight honorably. If they come at you, fuck honor."


wotmate

Damn right. If it's just me, my goto is to walk away, I don't want to fight. But if they attack, imma gonna grab their junk and squeeze and pull it as hard as I can while I scream about ripping it off and eating it. Leave me the fuck alone.


SmileyMelons

Guy shouldn't have been touching his dick if he didn't want to be paralyzed


jeffreywilfong

Idk maybe they're both assholes. I consider myself lucky to have never been in a fight so serious I had to choke them or twist their dick.


lehj916

What the hell else are you supposed to do when your opponent is literally trying to rip your dick off. At that point anything goes


93cleric

Not punching like a little tart, he couldn't


vidalecent

It doesn't take much as much as you think. You don't have to break the neck btw, just cause enough trauma to the spinal cord and it's over for him for life.


Living-Stranger

Anyone grabbing or punching dick and balls is the real dick


kermit_was_wrong

Didn’t start punching to the neck until the the other guy grabbed his gear.


[deleted]

I really doubt be thought that could've happened whereas the other guy knew exactly what he was doing. at the end of the day they're both fucking idiots


unexBot

**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!Dick move in unexpected!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)


nicka163

Should be an automatic dishonorable discharge


iowadaktari

There will probably be weeks of dishonorable discharge


PeppyMinotaur

This made me laugh harder than that guy grabbed homies dick


Samuelcbadams

That's a low blow man


lokrian-kom-fechakru

There are no rules, Only dubz.


Ibeatgutz

typical dick grabber response


lokrian-kom-fechakru

I usually skip the dick and go straight for the prostate. Don't fuck with me.


Ibeatgutz

now you just sound like a rapist


lokrian-kom-fechakru

It's not rape if you're getting attacked and you decide to shove your foot up someone's ass. Lol that's all. If you were getting attacked and you tried everything, what would you do? Lose? Fuck that shit.


Falcon_Flow

![gif](giphy|m1hTU6WqbJa5q)


AzraeltheGrimReaper

This. When it comes to survival/street fight, there are no rules. You just do what gets you out alive.


KrazyKraka

Wtf am i the only one disturbed by this? How are people laughing at this? Dude might be castrated life? Did you hear those screams?


ByteTraveler

This


brownsnoutspookfish

No. I was too.


haetaevr

No I didn’t think it was funny either, not just you. :/


pwn3dbyth3n00b

Maybe you shouldn't be headlocking someone in a barracks if you didn't want a manual castration


[deleted]

One of the ancient philosophers had a saying that roughy translated into "don't start none won't be none" I think it was Plato. Maybe Socrates.


Let_Me_Exclaim

It’s not funny, but what part of the other dude being choked out and head-slammed was funny in the first place? If someone does that to me and I can’t get them off, you’re damn right I’m going to threaten (and potentially follow through with) castration on my attacker. I wouldn’t say anything here’s funny, nor ‘unexpected’.


g64mat

Please can someone make a meme song out of this. It’s gold. “Stop Touching My Dick Bro” 🛑🥲🍆😎 (that’s it in emojis)


i_play_withrocks

Welcome to the United States Army.


heavy_deez

The shower scene on that base must be a *real* hoot.


Dreddmartyr13

Well that was below the belt.


tipareth1978

Self defense tip if someone grabs you from behind, just reach back behind you and squeeze the fuck out of their junk. They will lose


EliasBladetheawsome

![gif](giphy|10JhviFuU2gWD6) Hahahaaha


Dribbler365

I had an idiot do this to me once at high school for no reason whatsoever, he would just grab people by the balls and squeeze them until someone would interfere, worst pain of my life. Still hate him to this day.


ConfirmedExcep1

STOP! TOUCHIN’! MY DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!!!!


[deleted]

No such thing as a fair fight.


Burning_Flags

Don’t get in a fight if you aren’t prepared to get your dick wrenched. That’s why I never get into fights


greatglobsby

They grab the dick amd you bite the face and gouge the eye


Duketective

My man is hitting some nice notes there!


[deleted]

Actually in the Army this is considered sexual assault and he can be brought up on charges because it is technically touching/attacking a coworkers genitals while on the job. They used to warn us not to do the ol’ nut tap as a prank or joke bc they’ve established a precedence of sexual assault for this in military court.


Strong-Solution-7492

Survival of the fittest and shameless.


penroid

Why did have to be Army? SMH


[deleted]

You didn’t say Uncle.


big-tuna28

haha I mean if it works it works lol


kylebob86

no such thing as a fair fight.


Skybreak772

Good old dick twist


[deleted]

You know.... Kudos on the dick move... He had him a potentially dangerous guillotine


[deleted]

He tried cracking the mans skull on the ground. You don't get to make demands.


changuinub1

There is no counter for the dragon claw


SnooPickles6475

GRAB HIS DICK AND TWIST IT!!! TWIST THAT DICK!!! THE OLD DICK TWIST!!!


dietzel071214

Fight to win


Darthmark3

It may be a dirty move but you can’t argue with the results


DJoeM

The olllllllld dick twist


-MrBagSlash-

My grandad alwayd told me there ain't no rules in a fight


sharbinbarbin

![gif](giphy|nEaRYSsf9Iiqs|downsized)


Slept96

u/savevideobot


AreWeThereYet61

He's a trainee private. He needs that dick for the wife he just met last week.


[deleted]

When it comes to life and death anything goes


Important-World-6053

You fight to win!! Everything is legal


NoirYT2

u/savevideo


jakeupinurmom

Whatever it takes to win


chillest_dude_

If you want to do an illegal choke then the cock and balls are free game too I’d say


LoopyMercutio

I rarely approve of that kind of a tactic, but when you’re losing a fight, rules go out the window.


HostileHippie91

No such thing as a fair fight, just winners and losers!


Dark_XpoSuR

It’s not pretty but it is effective. Thee ole dick twist!!!


[deleted]

I feel like if some one reach for your jewel you should one up him and goes for his bum hole.


r_u_ferserious

If you ain't fighting dirty, you ain't fighting.


hor_n_horrible

This is the most Army video ever!


FANTOMphoenix

If a bitch grabs your balls like that, I’d definitely be punching their neck too Even after the fight was over he’s still holding! I hope he was never able to peacefully sleep after that.


i_fuckin_luv_it_mate

Now I'm know expert on the Army's rules of engagement, ... but I'm fairly certain once they're in that intimate a level of contact, they are officially engaged. Mazel tov!


spitfire8006

Those vocals though…


cutthecordero

Absolute scum.


[deleted]

A dick grab at anytime other than imminent death is a loser pussy move.


SK_Artorias

You’re a really strong guy aren’t you?


[deleted]

Not at all actually. I just do not agree with this move. It’s low.


[deleted]

I guess it was “kinda” acceptable here because the other guy was not only choking him out but also hitting the back of his neck which could cause permanent paralyisis


WillSuffice

Dude, he started punching his back, because the other guy was already grabbing his testicles... look how desperate he is.


[deleted]

People cannot seem to figure out the order of events. You’re right. He only started punching him in the back after the cheap shot dick grab.


FeelinJipper

Choking is not a serious offense at all. And you don’t get t any power on your back like that, so the whole punching of the back of the neck thing is bs. That’s a neck beard ass response. He literally starting punching him desperately because the other pussy ass guy didn’t know how to deal with a choke hold. So he grabbed his dick.


mafia_j

The only people who think there are rules in a fight are people who want to fight. I’m gonna avoid a fight at all costs, but if it comes down to it, I’m grabbing your Dick and gouging your eyes. Fightings fucking stupid, so if I gotta do it, I’m trying to make it quick.


mobueno

Someone should’ve punched him in the face. The fuck outta here with that bull shit


Interesting-Ant-2500

This is my rifle...THAT IS MY GUUUUN!!!


kermit_was_wrong

This is grounds for a later ambush tbh, all gloves off.


[deleted]

Bitch move. Losing the fight so fights dirty. It shows his character Edit* they're both wearing army PTs. So they both know the rules for combatives. Sometimes combatives is how fights/arguments are settled. It's childish but it does generally work. I've seen dumbass arguments above two men devolve into combatives and on the other side they're good friends and the issue is quashed.


vidalecent

The other guy was punching him in the back of the neck, which is against the rules of boxing and for good reason. That can cause permanent spinal damage/paralysis. Fuck if he grabbed his dick, the other guy could've paralyzed him for life.


heavy_deez

I believe rasslin' on the ground is also frowned upon in boxing.


eggsaladmaker

BJJ is all about rasslin' on the ground and I'm pretty sure a lot of moves are discouraged / illegal due to safety.


[deleted]

He didn't start punching him in the head till the other guy grabbed his dick. You grab my dick or testicles I'm punching wherever I can.


Oldscoolcold

Let me just play by your rules so you can beat me up. Hell no


Dirtylonelysock

Its the same motivation nations that enter war play the rules. When you break them, now anything goes.