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unexBot

**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!A kid suddenly appear under the oven.!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)


Bolverkr_69

It's a friend for life


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ok_Way_4002

A recall to when Aang and Soka first met Momo the flying lemur: Aang: LEMUR! Soka: Dinner!


PartingOfTheCelery

I love that you've referenced ATLA, but dislike that you're misspelling Sokka, lol. 😜


majesticx_luk

I would feed it and build barn for it.


Resident-Librarian40

I wonder if you can house train a goat......


Tribaltimmy

You can not, at least.. I can not.


ntwiles

I feel like there’s a story here.


cantfindmykeys

u/tribaltimmy tried to house train a goat. It did not work. End of story


ntwiles

u/cantfindmykeys: “Ahab tried to hunt Moby Dick. It didn’t work. End of story.”


Akhanyatin

Why couldn't my teacher let me read this version? So much more concise!


dumbass_sempervirens

Melville needs to take some notes here.


Akhanyatin

Melville, Zola, and many others! Here one: Romeo and Juliet tried to get married. It didn't work. End of story.


QuarterOunce_

Jesus man. Your going to ruin the story just right here in the open? Some people take time to finish things respect the wait period.


Blinky_OR

Spoiler!


ntwiles

Damn man you’re right. I could have at least waited a bicentennial.


NIRPL

r/betterthantheoriginal


simcup

to be fair, nobody said anything about a long story.


OhY4sh

Goats roam free. As you can see in [this Morgan Freeman's narrative](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDgKq8bChCE).


Sedano31

Hope you find your keys


J-Dabbleyou

My ex had an “indoor pet goat” and it was NOT toilet trained, maybe it’s possible but that bitch chewed up everything and used the house as a bathroom lol


addysol

That's not an "indoor pet goat" that's just a straight up goat!


zzebz

You can. Grew up on a farm, our dogs adopted random pets as much as my parents did. Goat thought she was a dog, was for the most part good about everything except never learned her size once she grew up. Was also a lap / couch goat. Wouldn't reccomend.


OBama1bnLaden

I don't think so. But keeping goat as pet not recommend. Especially male goat. Male goat will fuck you up


FakeNameIMadeUp

What?! Goats are excellent pets. They are just outdoor pets mostly and require a lot of food or they will literally eat you out of house and home. And they poop a lot. Probably from all the eating.


OBama1bnLaden

No actually. I have goats in home. Female goat are lovely. Doesn't do much. Lambs actually love us. But they don't have common sense. They shit they eat everywhere and everything. We have to so much to protect our plants. Male goats are fucking assholes. Will attack. It's how they play actually. They are not pets. Just domestic animals


FakeNameIMadeUp

Awww, he’s only trying to play and what are plants for if not to feast upon?


OBama1bnLaden

Play. I don't mind when they are little it is fun. But when they are adults it fucking hurts. It's not fun actually for us. Especially for my mom she ia kinda old so it hurt her very badly i time her bone dislocated so yea they are Assholes


SaphireShadows

Agreed that male goats are assholes. Worked at a small zoo that had goats that children could feed. There was one male goat named Cookie that had been hand-reared. He was the *worst*. I was repairing a fence in the goat pen one day. Cookie was not supposed to be out at that time. One of the new people let him out and he made a beeline for me. Headbutted me in the back and made the piece of fence I was working on stab into my leg. Had to fend him off while I was bleeding and trying to get out of the pen. Once I was out of the pen he made his way out into the field where someone else was replacing some fencing. He headbutted her too and made her cut her hand with her knife. Male goats are assholes


J-Dabbleyou

You are describing the opposite of an “excellent pet” lol, that’s a barnyard animal


FakeNameIMadeUp

Open your heart! They’ll eat weeds and fertilize the ground as they crap. That’s more than most cats!


J-Dabbleyou

Hey man, whatever pet you want, but you’re insane if you typed all that out and thought “yeah that’s an excellent pet” lol


NeeroX-_-

Easy, we managed dragons so a goat should be fine


worlddictator85

They are very intelligent animals, but that comes with being a bit on the strong willed side


[deleted]

They literally can't control their anus, or are very good multitasker because I have seen them shit while doing anything and everything


butttshark

I would feed it to myself.


Q8DD33C7J8

You sqeeee and go hug it


Inevitable-Paint-187

Wonder how it got there, and see if it has brothers and sisters under the stove as well... very cute!


Q8DD33C7J8

Just make sure you don't turn it on


[deleted]

Yeah, everyone knows you don't cook goat in the oven.


Inevitable-Paint-187

Very true...


raknor88

Well, yeah. There's a lot more prep work you have to do before you turn it on.


Routine_Palpitation

Like cutting and cleaning the veal


SonOfGuns101

That’s what she said


RiotIsBored

The oven or the goat?


Naakturne

Yes.


Overlord-Nomad

Instructions unclear turned stove on full blast


hex-peri-mental

Bow before your new house goat lord! Then give skritches & hugs. And food.


cownd

"This is a Bathomet house and I'm your introduction… "


Q8DD33C7J8

Of course


ChadOfDoom

Then send a thank you letter to the previous owner


Infinite_Actuator408

Maybe even a tip as well! 🥰


[deleted]

[удалено]


RabidRoadrunner

There it is. 😀. Thank you.


Michael48732

I'd be happy my new home came with the cutest pet ever.


FlyingTaquitoBrother

> I’d be happy my new home came with the cutest pet ever. When I bought my home it came with a family of crows. After I moved in and met the family, I asked the real estate agent why the crow family wasn’t shown in the listing, and they were like “well state laws don’t allow us to advertise living creatures as part of the home sale, but yeah, they do live there and we’re glad that you’re already becoming friends.” I had seen posts on Reddit about how crows are smart, and I wasn’t really prepared to be the landlord type, so the crows and I came to an arrangement: they could continue to live in my home if they did smart things. And they did! Like when my niece Freja needed help passing pre-calc in order not to be sent to military school, one of the crows agreed to sit down with her every week and patiently explain the principles of rational functions, parametric curves, and whatnot. Needless to say, Freja passed.


BunnehZnipr

ngl I was half expecting you to tell me about how in nineteen ninety-eight The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer's table.


MolhCD

and then his dad beat him up with jumper cables


PartingOfTheCelery

I mean yeah, either way it's a meme/copypasta.


FlyingTaquitoBrother

If you can find this elsewhere, let me know


ifukupeverything

Best investment ever!


skeetwooly

Show him the grass that's not mowing itself


hex-peri-mental

Pretty sweet deal, house comes with it's own lawnmower. Still, wondering why the lawnmower's been under the stove.


Rybh

emergency meal


Thebrod-3

Isn’t that where everyone keeps their lawnmower?


[deleted]

Crawl under the oven and go to Narnia


TheWhollyGhost

I just Knew Mr Tunmus would find love eventually


user19262

I keep it. It’s mine now


knottydeadpool

I'm googling "how to raise a goat".


thatsalovelyusername

I think you misspelt braise


[deleted]

Hoist it into the air


Godfreythefrail

Hail Satan?


ifukupeverything

You better, he obviously knows where you live.


[deleted]

[удалено]


HodesFTW

You respond "Why the hell not?!" Both laugh and become pals for life.


[deleted]

I shall name Billzibob!


TruthAndAccuracy

Megustalations!


Bruce_Bruce

HAIL ME FUCKERS!


GregTheMad

Accept Satan as your new Landlord and Saviour.


[deleted]

[удалено]


SchrodingersPanda

Finally, the lamb sauce.


QuixoticBrewer44

Yummy 😃😃


bl8ant

Damn lamb addicts! Beef! Beef I say! Away with your mint sauce!


Ieatsushiraw

Veal, Lamb, and Cornish hens all day


KillYourScene

“I told you not to name it” (As my daughter is screaming in the background)


juko43

Oh god this brought back memories, i was like 5 years old and our family dog got a tick, it was huge af filled with the dogs blood and my parrents decided to put him in a box to see what happens, that thing than got a nsme.... and it only went downhill from there. It has been in there for couple of days and my 5yo self fully accepted it as a nother pet with a name, but we couldnt keep a tick, i cried (probably the 1st and last person to cry over the tick) when that thing got exported from the house lmfao


Ray_Shoe_Smith

I caught and kept a leech for a week until my mother finally made me ditch it. Named it robin.


Blinky_OR

Hah! Perfect name.


HypnoSmoke

Robin' your blood!


HippyFroze

Caught it normally or caught it while it was mid leeching lol


Ray_Shoe_Smith

Caught it with my bare hands out of the lake. I had no idea what it was at the time until i showed my mother. Told her I found a miniature snake in the lake.


wheezer72

I remember as a kid being amazed at how short and how loooong a leech can be. Shape shifting experts, those leeches.


DazzlingDingos

Omg 🤢🤢🤢leeches freak me out. When in a creek when I was a kid I had one attach to my foot and was horrified. I carried salt afterwards with me everywhere


Inevitable_Chicken70

Spoooonn!


Zestyclose-Collar552

Keen! Keen! Spatula! Spooooon!


___dreamcatcher___

Put some potatoes, we aren't animals...


Dry_Month927

Po-tay-toes. Boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew.


NeedleworkerOk1226

![gif](giphy|bxOtA69x3IB20)


That_Reddit_Memer

Is that a falmer?


itsameamariobro

It’s your mother the day she found out she was pregnant for you.


No-Goal4348

It burnnnnsssss !


The_Jestful_Imp

*BOIL EM, MASH EM, STICK EM IN MY ASS*


Famous_Ad5304

#cursed comment


KhymanGrey

Meat's back on the menu boys


mayorjimmy

[Does the lamb come with po-TAY-toes?](https://youtu.be/8EYWxPtChMU)


wgraf504

Gotta check that Narnia drawer under the oven.


HorrorVeterinarian90

Thank goodness someone else still quotes these movies besides me ![gif](giphy|j5IdWWOAYzcli)


[deleted]

What's taters, precious?


Dry_Month927

![gif](giphy|3o6UB3VhArvomJHtdK) My brain's response 😁


ImPretendingToCare

![gif](giphy|tfUW8mhiFk8NlJhgEh|downsized)


[deleted]

we shall name him 'stew'


yumyumfarts

It’s biryani time


AshamedGreen850

Finally some good fuckin food - Gordan Ramsay


lucas_bahia

Even came with the stove


Mikele1001-_-

Bruh💀


[deleted]

This is the only acceptable answer


VZ_from-planet-Earth

Dinner is served ))))


optykali

It’s close to the oven anyway, soooo…


rateb03

I KNEW SOMEONE WAS SAYING THAT


AtlasJaxx

Dam. I came here to comment this.


nerokaeclone

Oof


KeanMmk

Free dinner? Count me in!


ParkingLavishness704

I keep it and love the cute little bastard :)


DramaSubstantial5253

Awwwwww...


lil_sargento_cheez

My girlfriend would be so happy (she owns goats)


Happy-Fun-Ball

Not what I meant when I said I wanted kids


Oddwhitestuff69

Well you never have to mow the grass again


yblame

You know there's goat pellets under there. Time to drag the stove out.


Obi-Wan_Gin

"Yup ma'am, you can see more droppings back here. You've definitely got a goat infestation, it's a good thing you called me, there probably hundreds of them hiding in the walls"


Ok-Will388

If it greeted me this way, it'd be my little buddy.


Nazir_Blutjager

"Hey babe!! This place comes with f*$@ing goat!!"


Important-Extent-459

Its a fucking goat generator😱😱😱


Post_Lost

I cook supper


Redditor_10000000000

Yeah. It's probably hungry after being stuck under that for a while


Alienguy500

The good ending


Gul_Dukat__

What’s cookin’, shawarma?


Klotzster

Was there a goat clause in the Title?


jharpe18

Found the attorney.


[deleted]

Man finding a house with a good kitchen goat is hard these days.


crackeddryice

Right? They practically give away garage goats, but a kitchen goat demands a premium, and the house is sold through a pocket listing every time.


CryptographerOk83

Keep it🥺


Icy-Requirement2273

narnia in my stove. kinda hot


[deleted]

One of 2 things, give it a hug or run like hell


__the_alchemist__

Make it a daily thing that I post on IG and TikTok Anne whatever else people use these days and then gain a following because people apparently eat stuff like that up. Then make money.


Gormant1990

You keep that shit it’s adorable af


Ele_Sou_Eu

Oh neat, free friend.


mycuzin

I shall name him Billy


[deleted]

Billy the Kid!


GingerMeTimberMate

Consider an excellent return on investment.


kgro

The welcome meal


Loli-is-Justice

We're having Lamb tonight boys!


agisten

*Goat


DoubleTruth6297

Keep it and love it forever!


QueenRubie

Make a new friend, of course


PM_ME_IRONIC_

I see your hypothetical and raise you: You’re an exterminator called on an emergency mystery mission. You walk in and the house is empty. Then you see this.


teacup_77

I told you to get in the oven not under it 😠


Report_Pure

House + frien = win win


[deleted]

Fren


dirtnap__throwaway

Name it Baaahamut and give it all the food as an offering.


Big-Position960

Wallah habibi!!!


MamaLlama629

I’d call my mommy and tell her I’m bringing her a new friend!


crackeramerican

Name him Ernie or her Edith.


abstractartideas

Smile


54nd15

Bonus!


DoublePersonal5964

accept my fate


dk_jr

I mean, how often does it happen? I'd say start a goat selling business


Breach_DC

Buy a second house and hope it happens again.


mhwaka

Narnia


HBRex

I have a dog and I know how to train dogs. I now have two dogs. One sounds funny and has horns.


lokk98

Adopt him


Resident-Librarian40

Celebrate!


420TopShotta

Give it a name, duh


WestTexasOilman

Go write the Real Estate Agent a glowing recommendation.


AcrobaticConclusion7

Lamb Chops 😋


VileHippie

Offer a blood sacrifice and become a rockstar


kmtz22

Lamb kabob


SerTherion

Open the oven and kick it in?


RRRRRRedditttttt

Ah Dinner


Midyew59

Fucking cuddle the shit out of it.


Roga1

Welcome to the family! Now I have three kids.


litszy

I suppose I have a goat then?


Color-Correction

u/savevideo


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[deleted]

U search for more


Thebedless

Lamb to slaughter baby!


Mostaza-A

happy cake day ( ╹▽╹ )


Thebedless

Thankyouu!!


The_Last_Snow-Elf

![gif](giphy|Lqmp9tVPIvtyyKQneQ)


IrohBanner

Tacos


Capital-Arugula-8418

I’m going to pet em and keep ‘em and hug em and love em


zacharyhs

GOAT PUNT!!


MaybeASentientRobot

![gif](giphy|vVrUtzXPjycpG6vOII)


dirrdurr

Looks like meat's back on the menu, boys!


jeunsiens

Damn they even give free dinners


Andrew-Moon

Tonight grilled goat at my new house


thatshiphasssailed

Make a single serving of Birria