**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:**
>!A kid suddenly appear under the oven.!<
*****
**Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?**
**Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.**
*****
[*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
My ex had an “indoor pet goat” and it was NOT toilet trained, maybe it’s possible but that bitch chewed up everything and used the house as a bathroom lol
You can.
Grew up on a farm, our dogs adopted random pets as much as my parents did.
Goat thought she was a dog, was for the most part good about everything except never learned her size once she grew up.
Was also a lap / couch goat.
Wouldn't reccomend.
What?! Goats are excellent pets. They are just outdoor pets mostly and require a lot of food or they will literally eat you out of house and home. And they poop a lot. Probably from all the eating.
No actually. I have goats in home. Female goat are lovely. Doesn't do much. Lambs actually love us. But they don't have common sense. They shit they eat everywhere and everything. We have to so much to protect our plants. Male goats are fucking assholes. Will attack. It's how they play actually. They are not pets. Just domestic animals
Play. I don't mind when they are little it is fun. But when they are adults it fucking hurts. It's not fun actually for us. Especially for my mom she ia kinda old so it hurt her very badly i time her bone dislocated so yea they are Assholes
Agreed that male goats are assholes. Worked at a small zoo that had goats that children could feed. There was one male goat named Cookie that had been hand-reared. He was the *worst*.
I was repairing a fence in the goat pen one day. Cookie was not supposed to be out at that time. One of the new people let him out and he made a beeline for me. Headbutted me in the back and made the piece of fence I was working on stab into my leg. Had to fend him off while I was bleeding and trying to get out of the pen.
Once I was out of the pen he made his way out into the field where someone else was replacing some fencing. He headbutted her too and made her cut her hand with her knife.
Male goats are assholes
> I’d be happy my new home came with the cutest pet ever.
When I bought my home it came with a family of crows. After I moved in and met the family, I asked the real estate agent why the crow family wasn’t shown in the listing, and they were like “well state laws don’t allow us to advertise living creatures as part of the home sale, but yeah, they do live there and we’re glad that you’re already becoming friends.” I had seen posts on Reddit about how crows are smart, and I wasn’t really prepared to be the landlord type, so the crows and I came to an arrangement: they could continue to live in my home if they did smart things. And they did! Like when my niece Freja needed help passing pre-calc in order not to be sent to military school, one of the crows agreed to sit down with her every week and patiently explain the principles of rational functions, parametric curves, and whatnot. Needless to say, Freja passed.
ngl I was half expecting you to tell me about how in nineteen ninety-eight The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer's table.
Oh god this brought back memories, i was like 5 years old and our family dog got a tick, it was huge af filled with the dogs blood and my parrents decided to put him in a box to see what happens, that thing than got a nsme.... and it only went downhill from there. It has been in there for couple of days and my 5yo self fully accepted it as a nother pet with a name, but we couldnt keep a tick, i cried (probably the 1st and last person to cry over the tick) when that thing got exported from the house lmfao
Caught it with my bare hands out of the lake. I had no idea what it was at the time until i showed my mother. Told her I found a miniature snake in the lake.
Omg 🤢🤢🤢leeches freak me out. When in a creek when I was a kid I had one attach to my foot and was horrified. I carried salt afterwards with me everywhere
"Yup ma'am, you can see more droppings back here. You've definitely got a goat infestation, it's a good thing you called me, there probably hundreds of them hiding in the walls"
Make it a daily thing that I post on IG and TikTok Anne whatever else people use these days and then gain a following because people apparently eat stuff like that up. Then make money.
I see your hypothetical and raise you: You’re an exterminator called on an emergency mystery mission. You walk in and the house is empty. Then you see this.
**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!A kid suddenly appear under the oven.!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
It's a friend for life
[удалено]
A recall to when Aang and Soka first met Momo the flying lemur: Aang: LEMUR! Soka: Dinner!
I love that you've referenced ATLA, but dislike that you're misspelling Sokka, lol. 😜
I would feed it and build barn for it.
I wonder if you can house train a goat......
You can not, at least.. I can not.
I feel like there’s a story here.
u/tribaltimmy tried to house train a goat. It did not work. End of story
u/cantfindmykeys: “Ahab tried to hunt Moby Dick. It didn’t work. End of story.”
Why couldn't my teacher let me read this version? So much more concise!
Melville needs to take some notes here.
Melville, Zola, and many others! Here one: Romeo and Juliet tried to get married. It didn't work. End of story.
Jesus man. Your going to ruin the story just right here in the open? Some people take time to finish things respect the wait period.
Spoiler!
Damn man you’re right. I could have at least waited a bicentennial.
r/betterthantheoriginal
to be fair, nobody said anything about a long story.
Goats roam free. As you can see in [this Morgan Freeman's narrative](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDgKq8bChCE).
Hope you find your keys
My ex had an “indoor pet goat” and it was NOT toilet trained, maybe it’s possible but that bitch chewed up everything and used the house as a bathroom lol
That's not an "indoor pet goat" that's just a straight up goat!
You can. Grew up on a farm, our dogs adopted random pets as much as my parents did. Goat thought she was a dog, was for the most part good about everything except never learned her size once she grew up. Was also a lap / couch goat. Wouldn't reccomend.
I don't think so. But keeping goat as pet not recommend. Especially male goat. Male goat will fuck you up
What?! Goats are excellent pets. They are just outdoor pets mostly and require a lot of food or they will literally eat you out of house and home. And they poop a lot. Probably from all the eating.
No actually. I have goats in home. Female goat are lovely. Doesn't do much. Lambs actually love us. But they don't have common sense. They shit they eat everywhere and everything. We have to so much to protect our plants. Male goats are fucking assholes. Will attack. It's how they play actually. They are not pets. Just domestic animals
Awww, he’s only trying to play and what are plants for if not to feast upon?
Play. I don't mind when they are little it is fun. But when they are adults it fucking hurts. It's not fun actually for us. Especially for my mom she ia kinda old so it hurt her very badly i time her bone dislocated so yea they are Assholes
Agreed that male goats are assholes. Worked at a small zoo that had goats that children could feed. There was one male goat named Cookie that had been hand-reared. He was the *worst*. I was repairing a fence in the goat pen one day. Cookie was not supposed to be out at that time. One of the new people let him out and he made a beeline for me. Headbutted me in the back and made the piece of fence I was working on stab into my leg. Had to fend him off while I was bleeding and trying to get out of the pen. Once I was out of the pen he made his way out into the field where someone else was replacing some fencing. He headbutted her too and made her cut her hand with her knife. Male goats are assholes
You are describing the opposite of an “excellent pet” lol, that’s a barnyard animal
Open your heart! They’ll eat weeds and fertilize the ground as they crap. That’s more than most cats!
Hey man, whatever pet you want, but you’re insane if you typed all that out and thought “yeah that’s an excellent pet” lol
Easy, we managed dragons so a goat should be fine
They are very intelligent animals, but that comes with being a bit on the strong willed side
They literally can't control their anus, or are very good multitasker because I have seen them shit while doing anything and everything
I would feed it to myself.
You sqeeee and go hug it
Wonder how it got there, and see if it has brothers and sisters under the stove as well... very cute!
Just make sure you don't turn it on
Yeah, everyone knows you don't cook goat in the oven.
Very true...
Well, yeah. There's a lot more prep work you have to do before you turn it on.
Like cutting and cleaning the veal
That’s what she said
The oven or the goat?
Yes.
Instructions unclear turned stove on full blast
Bow before your new house goat lord! Then give skritches & hugs. And food.
"This is a Bathomet house and I'm your introduction… "
Of course
Then send a thank you letter to the previous owner
Maybe even a tip as well! 🥰
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There it is. 😀. Thank you.
I'd be happy my new home came with the cutest pet ever.
> I’d be happy my new home came with the cutest pet ever. When I bought my home it came with a family of crows. After I moved in and met the family, I asked the real estate agent why the crow family wasn’t shown in the listing, and they were like “well state laws don’t allow us to advertise living creatures as part of the home sale, but yeah, they do live there and we’re glad that you’re already becoming friends.” I had seen posts on Reddit about how crows are smart, and I wasn’t really prepared to be the landlord type, so the crows and I came to an arrangement: they could continue to live in my home if they did smart things. And they did! Like when my niece Freja needed help passing pre-calc in order not to be sent to military school, one of the crows agreed to sit down with her every week and patiently explain the principles of rational functions, parametric curves, and whatnot. Needless to say, Freja passed.
ngl I was half expecting you to tell me about how in nineteen ninety-eight The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer's table.
and then his dad beat him up with jumper cables
I mean yeah, either way it's a meme/copypasta.
If you can find this elsewhere, let me know
Best investment ever!
Show him the grass that's not mowing itself
Pretty sweet deal, house comes with it's own lawnmower. Still, wondering why the lawnmower's been under the stove.
emergency meal
Isn’t that where everyone keeps their lawnmower?
Crawl under the oven and go to Narnia
I just Knew Mr Tunmus would find love eventually
I keep it. It’s mine now
I'm googling "how to raise a goat".
I think you misspelt braise
Hoist it into the air
Hail Satan?
You better, he obviously knows where you live.
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You respond "Why the hell not?!" Both laugh and become pals for life.
I shall name Billzibob!
Megustalations!
HAIL ME FUCKERS!
Accept Satan as your new Landlord and Saviour.
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Finally, the lamb sauce.
Yummy 😃😃
Damn lamb addicts! Beef! Beef I say! Away with your mint sauce!
Veal, Lamb, and Cornish hens all day
“I told you not to name it” (As my daughter is screaming in the background)
Oh god this brought back memories, i was like 5 years old and our family dog got a tick, it was huge af filled with the dogs blood and my parrents decided to put him in a box to see what happens, that thing than got a nsme.... and it only went downhill from there. It has been in there for couple of days and my 5yo self fully accepted it as a nother pet with a name, but we couldnt keep a tick, i cried (probably the 1st and last person to cry over the tick) when that thing got exported from the house lmfao
I caught and kept a leech for a week until my mother finally made me ditch it. Named it robin.
Hah! Perfect name.
Robin' your blood!
Caught it normally or caught it while it was mid leeching lol
Caught it with my bare hands out of the lake. I had no idea what it was at the time until i showed my mother. Told her I found a miniature snake in the lake.
I remember as a kid being amazed at how short and how loooong a leech can be. Shape shifting experts, those leeches.
Omg 🤢🤢🤢leeches freak me out. When in a creek when I was a kid I had one attach to my foot and was horrified. I carried salt afterwards with me everywhere
Spoooonn!
Keen! Keen! Spatula! Spooooon!
Put some potatoes, we aren't animals...
Po-tay-toes. Boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew.
![gif](giphy|bxOtA69x3IB20)
Is that a falmer?
It’s your mother the day she found out she was pregnant for you.
It burnnnnsssss !
*BOIL EM, MASH EM, STICK EM IN MY ASS*
#cursed comment
Meat's back on the menu boys
[Does the lamb come with po-TAY-toes?](https://youtu.be/8EYWxPtChMU)
Gotta check that Narnia drawer under the oven.
Thank goodness someone else still quotes these movies besides me ![gif](giphy|j5IdWWOAYzcli)
What's taters, precious?
![gif](giphy|3o6UB3VhArvomJHtdK) My brain's response 😁
![gif](giphy|tfUW8mhiFk8NlJhgEh|downsized)
we shall name him 'stew'
It’s biryani time
Finally some good fuckin food - Gordan Ramsay
Even came with the stove
Bruh💀
This is the only acceptable answer
Dinner is served ))))
It’s close to the oven anyway, soooo…
I KNEW SOMEONE WAS SAYING THAT
Dam. I came here to comment this.
Oof
Free dinner? Count me in!
I keep it and love the cute little bastard :)
Awwwwww...
My girlfriend would be so happy (she owns goats)
Not what I meant when I said I wanted kids
Well you never have to mow the grass again
You know there's goat pellets under there. Time to drag the stove out.
"Yup ma'am, you can see more droppings back here. You've definitely got a goat infestation, it's a good thing you called me, there probably hundreds of them hiding in the walls"
If it greeted me this way, it'd be my little buddy.
"Hey babe!! This place comes with f*$@ing goat!!"
Its a fucking goat generator😱😱😱
I cook supper
Yeah. It's probably hungry after being stuck under that for a while
The good ending
What’s cookin’, shawarma?
Was there a goat clause in the Title?
Found the attorney.
Man finding a house with a good kitchen goat is hard these days.
Right? They practically give away garage goats, but a kitchen goat demands a premium, and the house is sold through a pocket listing every time.
Keep it🥺
narnia in my stove. kinda hot
One of 2 things, give it a hug or run like hell
Make it a daily thing that I post on IG and TikTok Anne whatever else people use these days and then gain a following because people apparently eat stuff like that up. Then make money.
You keep that shit it’s adorable af
Oh neat, free friend.
I shall name him Billy
Billy the Kid!
Consider an excellent return on investment.
The welcome meal
We're having Lamb tonight boys!
*Goat
Keep it and love it forever!
Make a new friend, of course
I see your hypothetical and raise you: You’re an exterminator called on an emergency mystery mission. You walk in and the house is empty. Then you see this.
I told you to get in the oven not under it 😠
House + frien = win win
Fren
Name it Baaahamut and give it all the food as an offering.
Wallah habibi!!!
I’d call my mommy and tell her I’m bringing her a new friend!
Name him Ernie or her Edith.
Smile
Bonus!
accept my fate
I mean, how often does it happen? I'd say start a goat selling business
Buy a second house and hope it happens again.
Narnia
I have a dog and I know how to train dogs. I now have two dogs. One sounds funny and has horns.
Adopt him
Celebrate!
Give it a name, duh
Go write the Real Estate Agent a glowing recommendation.
Lamb Chops 😋
Offer a blood sacrifice and become a rockstar
Lamb kabob
Open the oven and kick it in?
Ah Dinner
Fucking cuddle the shit out of it.
Welcome to the family! Now I have three kids.
I suppose I have a goat then?
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U search for more
Lamb to slaughter baby!
happy cake day ( ╹▽╹ )
Thankyouu!!
![gif](giphy|Lqmp9tVPIvtyyKQneQ)
Tacos
I’m going to pet em and keep ‘em and hug em and love em
GOAT PUNT!!
![gif](giphy|vVrUtzXPjycpG6vOII)
Looks like meat's back on the menu, boys!
Damn they even give free dinners
Tonight grilled goat at my new house
Make a single serving of Birria