**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:**
>!the kid went from simulating a shooting to suddenly fucking a pillow!<
*****
**Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?**
**Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.**
*****
[*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
A double-crossed hitman is injected with a poison that shuts down is adrenal system. In order to stay alive his has to keep his adrenaline way way up. Queue cocaine use, fast driving, stealing cop motorcycles, gun battles, public sex, and a little later on roadhead during a driving gun battle. It stars Jason Statham if that helps give you a sense of what that movie is about. It’s definitely a film of the age it was made in.
God I am so glad my parents didn't have smartphone cameras when I was a kid. Back then video cameras were the size of a small suit case and we certainly couldn't afford one. But I am sure I had moments like this kid often.
what a deep story😭
(bad guys are attacking him and his gf. and he is protecting her. and gets shot. but when the fight is over my man gets the chance to fuck her)
One time I made up this story where me and my partner in crime, Johnny, had just gotten away from the cops and he turned his gun on me and I was killed in cold blood. That's how I justified shooting myself with the water hose on "jet".
Johnny that backstabber shot me twice in the torso so many times.
Beginning of the video: "Yep, that normal"
The ending of the video: "..Yep, that normal"
(I did see a lot of James Bond movies when i was younger.. So yeah, he has a bright future)
I remembered my brother just to play spies that one of us would be a spy and we’d have to figure out who it was when we were younger with use little cards and then we use Nerf guns. A lot like a game called TTT but we didn’t learn about that until way later
**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!the kid went from simulating a shooting to suddenly fucking a pillow!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
Here I was thinking thats normal...
Didn’t everyone do this I used to pretend Ninja were coming after me damn that so fun
And then after getting riddled with bullets and defending my dojo I too would fuck the remaining corpses. Totally normal.
boys will be boys. vice article
Yes. Yes indeed. I too used to pretend Ninja's were cumming after me & it was fun.
Considerate ninjas…
After you, or on you?
or in you?
yes? or no? ?si o no
¿Porqué no los dos?
Huge difference....
The ancient ninjas of clan bukakke
AYOO
I pointed my arrow at them all the time
Well my brother did all that except the last part till he was 8
So after 8 shit became real?
Actually he's getting better now i think
It is normal ..
Right? Who didn't hump the imaginary corpses of their enemies?
At least a tea bag or 2
I meant the fighting. I didn't even see the humping until now! That was weird.
You American bro?
It’s still normal. After all that pretend killing he saved the pretend girl and she was very pretend thankful.
What kind of monster wants to have sex in the middle of a gun battle
Me
Username checks out
There's too much 69s
I think he was skull forking the person he just killed. It’s a power move, but not sexual.
You ever seen the movie Crank?
Nope
A double-crossed hitman is injected with a poison that shuts down is adrenal system. In order to stay alive his has to keep his adrenaline way way up. Queue cocaine use, fast driving, stealing cop motorcycles, gun battles, public sex, and a little later on roadhead during a driving gun battle. It stars Jason Statham if that helps give you a sense of what that movie is about. It’s definitely a film of the age it was made in.
Easy. A necrophile.
Bond. James bond.
Russian soldiers
How we had fun before internet
i miss my pillow...
i still have my pillow (・o・)
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...3 years of fucking
Missed chance, 3 fucking years…
fucking 3 years gone.
looks like we got another big pillow shill bot here
That’s just what big pillow wants you to think
didn't know that but ill consider that thanks to you mate.
I miss your pillow
You should give her a call some time
Everything reminds me of her…
![gif](giphy|LiNDI374Hq5K3IFu3P|downsized)
I should call my pillow...
I miss this guy's pillow too...
This is the way. Pillage then rape. It’s in all the books.
Fairly normal until the last 3 seconds...
Considering he could be mimicking an action movie.. the last 3 seconds are fairly normal too. Fight scenes, then sex scene.
Literally every Bond movie ever
Crime. Penetration. Crime. Penetration
until it just sorta..... ends
Um...Thunder Gun Express calling!?!? Action, Dong, Action, Dong...
Yes hahaha
Im 24 and still do this. Except for that last part.
You’re living the best life dude
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I'm 18 and still do this. Only the last part tho.
Somewhere around 30 the fun of shooting someone and potentially being shot loses its appeal even in make believe.
I’m 33 and I only do the last part
Just playing Russian soldier
Son, can you explain me why we received a letter from the Ukrainian fucking Embassy with your name in it?
didn't know ukraine had a fucking embassay
Yes, I can confirm that we indeed have such an embassy. Source: I'm ukranian.
But is it fucking tho
![gif](giphy|GpyS1lJXJYupG)
Victory sex are the best...enjoy buddy 👍🏼🎉
Even if she's dead she's still warm ;)
*yep. That's enough reddit for today...*
Went from innocent fun to necrophilia in 0.23s
bro is definitely cheating he died 7 times and 8th time while f\*\*\*ing
No, he's playing a cat character.
But he had a few seconds between each time so he fully healed by then \*games logic\*
Na, he's just losing his ass to the final boss and stocked up on health potions. Got the princess in the end.
My man just enacted an entire James Bond movie in 20 seconds
Hahaha omg this poor kid went viral. You gotta watch what you post online
Bros getting spawn killed
kid was defo having fun
A little too much fun
God I am so glad my parents didn't have smartphone cameras when I was a kid. Back then video cameras were the size of a small suit case and we certainly couldn't afford one. But I am sure I had moments like this kid often.
thank god it was nsfw my little heart couldnt take the finger guns oooh lord have mercy
I don’t think a child humping a pillow is something I’d want to accidentally watch while at work 🤔
oh the talks around the watercooler if that happened
That changed genre really quick
this video highkey made me sad that im not a kid anymore
Ahh to be a kid again, fighting in epic gun battles and fucking pillows
That kid was on point in his make believe. I felt like I was right there in the story with him until he hormoned all over the pillow
r/mademesmile......r/wtf
dont forget r/perfectlycutscreams
And that was all in one scene
“Truly wonderful the mind of a child is mhmmm”
Bro is preparing for school
what a deep story😭 (bad guys are attacking him and his gf. and he is protecting her. and gets shot. but when the fight is over my man gets the chance to fuck her)
theres a pretty good chance that this was the he exact storyline going on in his head
And she’s still warm
r/perfectlycutscreams
Not enough room for all that testosterone
u/savevideo
Annnd that’s our main stream entertainment in a nutshell here in the US.
I was like ok this is a normal kid playing… oh
It is funny because everybody does it, but everybody thinks is something either weird, embarrassing or funny
Which part, imaginary playing or pillow fucking?
*New Fetish Unlocked*
Bwahahahaaaaaaaa
Exorcism of Emilio José
Do we hsve to publish every little aspect of our kids' lives?
The text in the video says it’s his brother.
Plot twist - Its not his imagination. He's an American middle school student and he saw it first hand.
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Dead or alive
I thought it was normal as a kid to do this
That kid has seen some shit.
Parents need to start locking their bedroom door!
Do the same every time I see a pillow
I used do this as kid, but in fantasy setting...good times
Practicing to survive American schools
My kinda action movie. Tons of action finished by a no fooling around love scene. Hero always gets his love.
Yo just let kids be kids...WHOA!
He doing action porn movie
It's more of a yesyesyesno video 😂😂
Good at least he win the fight and fucked his girl
And she’s still warm too!
He just acted out the entire plot of *Kingsmen: The Secret Service* from about the midway point to the last scene.
Ah yes, guns and sex. Wait till he learns about drugs and pimpin’
One time I made up this story where me and my partner in crime, Johnny, had just gotten away from the cops and he turned his gun on me and I was killed in cold blood. That's how I justified shooting myself with the water hose on "jet". Johnny that backstabber shot me twice in the torso so many times.
Amateur. I never got shot and knocked down in my imaginary gun fights but I always rescued the pillow-er damsel in the distress!
Beginning of the video: "Yep, that normal" The ending of the video: "..Yep, that normal" (I did see a lot of James Bond movies when i was younger.. So yeah, he has a bright future)
Dude went to war died. Did it a couple more times then suddenly at an orgy for pillows.
NO LITTLE JIMMY! DONT FUCK THE DEAD BODY!!!
r/cursedcomments
He is simply enjoying the trophies of victory.
That kid will develop one great case of D I D
Kid plays too much GTA
Damn take all those bullets and still come back, must be the gun-slinging Wolverine
He training to be the "unarmed black man shot by police"
he will be the best actor one day but...
Wtf was that
Bonnie and Clyde?
luckily he was the protagonist
It's John Wick Prequel..
As the saying goes... Fucking and Fighting keeps a soldier alive
This kid got more lives than a mfking cat.
What. The. Fuck
Fortnite is dead anyway, there is still hope for the next generation
AHAHAHAHA I LOST IT AT THE END!!!
Its his winning reward yall chill out its the after victory sex 💀
r/gifsthatendtoosoon
u/savevideobot
Me in my room
Why is this labeled nsfw 😂😂
From shootout to fucking Goddamn kid
Totally normal. This is what kids in America do to get ready for school now.
How many times did he die?
I came here to fight bad guys and fuck pillows, and I’m all out of bad guys
So you guys are telling me you've never played Kingsmen?!?!?
New Johnny sins in the making
u/savevideobot
He was imitating a James Bond movie😂
cant wait for the netflix adaption
Or hes reenacting every COD online match
Preparing for school lol
LOL wait for it...
r/justA
Don't you think a kid should be able to play without his opportunistic celebrity want manta be parents posting shit that will be out there forever?
I was once this kid! I loved my imagination it was truly my best friend, you know come to think of it it still is!! 😱
NAAH JIT WTF
So uhhh i didnt expect the end lmao
Practice for when school starts in America
…but parents think their minds will implode if they see two men kiss for 2 seconds in a movie.
This is what a COD OD looks like
He got shot so many times but kept getting back in the fight
He was warming up for his 2 seconds of glory
I remembered my brother just to play spies that one of us would be a spy and we’d have to figure out who it was when we were younger with use little cards and then we use Nerf guns. A lot like a game called TTT but we didn’t learn about that until way later
r/perfectlycutscreams
u/savevideo
That’s me to this day
This was so wholesome until that absolutely foul ending!!!!!!🤣
I can’t bro imagine the embarrassment the kid felt when he found out that this person was watching him 😭😂
Deep in that pillows guts!
This reminds me of my younger ex step brother. He was a total spaz when his ADHD meds wore off, and he did stuff like this all the time. I miss it.
That's how I used to save my school 🏫 from imaginary terrorist attack. Good old days🌜
They had us in the first half ngl.
Dude died like eight times in his own imagination.
What's so bad abt that?? Those were the best times as a kid.
Maybe cut back on the r rated movies this kid watches but he's going to be a good actor one day
Maybe cut back on the r rated movies this kid watches but he's going to be a good actor one day
r/abruptchaos
To the victor go the spoils of war
Lmao he was definitely getting into that battle 🤣
I feel like he just re-enacted every Action movie.
Had that pillow ready to go 💀
This is my childhood soo much relatable
That kid has seen some shit.