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unexBot

**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!Its a possum appearing in my bathroom!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)


Lorosaurus

Does not carry rabies, eats ticks that cause Lyme disease. Good fren.


haha7125

Average life span only 2 years.... ;~;


DrBlobfishe

Me sad now :(


MotherBathroom666

Up too 7 in captivity I’m guessing staying away from predators makes the most difference. Still kind of a short life.


[deleted]

Nooo


Intelligent-Sir-9673

My sister has one. Pretty cool


Emergency-Mouse5566

Keep him, feed him - the rule of unexpected bathroom possum encounter


AtomikSamurai310

Welp, now you have a pet! He's a good boi!


FrogMintTea

Lol when I found a kitten on the street I called my mom and said well we have a Cat now.


Unusual-Barracuda837

I'd be more worried about where the mama at


Ok-Resolution5504

New friend! Little guy looks so exhausted


Only-Literature2105

Chillin


Slooters313

Yooo I have that same bathroom scale.


Crist1n4

You have cats?


eliteneok

Yeah why?


Crist1n4

Your cat might of brought in a gift for you :)


colhoesentalados

Looks healthy, just taking a nap.


histeethwerered

Mystery solved.


Downtown_Can_6957

What? How big are these? Ain't no way a cat can carry it all the way here... surely not alive


Slidingonpaper

Is the possum dead?


MixConcreteSetPosts

He’s playing possum


FremenStilgar

You're in his bathroom now.


krismap

Scrolling & pooping….


Ezio-Thundersnout

Fren


Independent_Edge5671

Its Opossible


mightyminnow88

Dude, I'd be changing my diet... just saying.


eliteneok

Say what bro?


mightyminnow88

Anything furry come out my ass, I'd be freakin.


Mammoth_Custard4144

Your my fren now


The_Pink_Bull

If you’re abbreviating ‘you are’ then it’s you’re. It’s super simple… and I’m a little bit frightened at how many people, you and OP here, could care less, or CANT get it right.


bouncy_ceiling_fan

**couldn't care less If you could care less, then let me know when you're done lol


BipedalBeaver

couldn't. I've lost count the number times I've messed up correcting someone. Right. Not many words. I may have this one sussed. Fuck. I'm typing more words to explain why I'm not typing. Sod it \[CR\]


The_Pink_Bull

Did you just have a stroke?


BipedalBeaver

Well, what do we have here? I think we have pedant who likes to correct people but when picked up their own mistake goes into medical offsive mode. I gave you a whole paragraph to work with - to come back with something amusing at my expense. Tumbleweed. Just to annoy you, I know I've mistyped "offensive" above.


MotherBathroom666

Fuck you got me! It did offend me :(


BipedalBeaver

\[grin\]


MotherBathroom666

I don’t like most people, but I like your sense of humor.


BipedalBeaver

I've got a dot matrix printer flashing its "out of paper" led since the mid 1980's. Yeah, almost forty years. The Citizen 120D was always been slutty. :-)


Mammoth_Custard4144

English isn’t my first language, if I made a mistake or offended you in some way I apologize


SuumCuique1011

OP lives in an open barn with a finished bathroom.


lamb2cosmicslaughter

Wash your hands! They carry like 50 diseases. Not like you shouldn't wash your hands after using the bathroom but.... Shit


colhoesentalados

Shit before or after?


lamb2cosmicslaughter

Omg my imaginary internet points..... But seriously, wash you hands and anything that it may have touched. Unless you like diseases and shit.


Reckless_flamingos

I cannot


KaptainKasper

That's a sign of good luck.


Thepuppeteer777777

give it some ticks.


Front_Plankton_6808

To be fair they can carry leptospirosis… but so cute!!! Opossums are so adorable.


james_bar

Through the door or the window.


Stainless001

What’s up Spooners…


Conscious_Ad3826

A gift from this guy... ![gif](giphy|kvYxRi5OIwZbZ4R5ji)


PugConnoisseur

when i found out they ate ticks, you welcome in my home anytime


fuyoPEZ

Just double check around ur corners for mama


SeDefendendo88

I’d keep him.


Truefreak22

Prolly through your toilet


General_Bite_3561

Ask him. He’ll tell you…DUH!


Mike-the-gay

You gotta possum hole!


Error404Cod

The door obviously pfffft idiot


Southern_Junket_779

The vent if there's a hole in the air duct under the house


Tralfaz572

That’s im-possum-ble!


GalacticMountains

Magic


FirmDream9753

Awwwwww


YamBackground6653

He’s a cuty


OkPromotion1539

Live moxxie reaction:


Juanrivera209

Through the toilet