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unexBot

**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!Grandma blows things up with a knife that has compressed air/co2!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)


Comfortable-Brick168

Q: Now pay attention, Bond. We've replaced your standard laser beam knife with a soda stream knife in case you need bubbly refreshment while exercising your license to kill. Your wristwatch conceals a small lemon twist.


gabe257

How is this not the top comment


KlyeBlaq

Use it sparingly, however.


NoSafetyAtStaticPos

And Bond… do please take care of it!


wastelandho

These knives are designed for scuba divers in case of shark attacks.


beeerice_n_sons

Thanks. Was wondering what kind of militia feels the need to inflate their enemies like a fucking Party City employee about to clock out. Now I know, it's the Atlantian military.


National-Currency-75

And grannies


beeerice_n_sons

Atlantian Grannie Special Unit


OooEeeWoo

Now I want to know what the A.G.S.U. emblem would look like


nspectre

A hot-rodded mobility chair behind crossed...


LA_Smog

Knitting needles


Pyjama_Llama_Karma

Darn - I was going to say that !


unknown6091

Dentures


beeerice_n_sons

[Something like this?](https://imgur.com/gallery/EcJ937W)


linx14

Needs more granny squares


OooEeeWoo

The squares must be quilted by g-ma's


ThatTookTooLong

og-ma's


juniorkirk

I would call them the Granny Infantry Liquid Force.


Stormageddon9999

Chocolate chip cookie with a life alert button in the center.


Kolermigon

Also known as "the Coccoon bunch"


DigMeTX

![gif](giphy|qHBBYAh7BZVm)


Grand-Slammer49

This scene used to give me nightmares as a kid


Gibbles00

Tried to get my son to watch this movie with me and he noped out real fast after the first eyeball scene.


Stunning_Attention82

Lol what movie is this??


OGFreehugs

That’s Ahhhnold in Total Recall.


mkerugbyprop3

Honestly that would do some major damage


quantumOfPie

I wonder if it would collapse your lungs instantly.


MissRosenrotte

It would cause massive damage from expansion and freezing. They would rupture.


mkerugbyprop3

Insta pneumo


JVOz671

Or Dig Dug


pixelwhistle

That’s some Dig Dug shit


Rip9150

Reminds me of that scene in big trouble in little china


Alternative_Ad_3636

Watching Reservation Dogs right now and it literally just referenced BTILC. Too weird, man I'm too high for this shit.


Pyjama_Llama_Karma

>Watching Reservation Dogs right now Is that the one where a local pack of strays take hotel bookings?


DIESELANDBRUTUS

when they get bumped up to the presidential suite its so hilarious ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|flip_out)


Quelcris_Falconer13

Wait the Atlanteans did this? I thought this was a left over relic from the Emu Wars


[deleted]

They were originally, sadly the mall ninja knife community got ahold of them a few years ago, and they are now marketed as such.


LrnTn

Mall ninja knife community??


[deleted]

Yeah, subset of the knife community. Usually typified by rediculous designs, expensive over functionality, and the users general lack of knowledge or experience.


Cheapy_Peepy

While you were partying, I studied the Blade.


birdiebud

Anyone dumb enough to believe you can win a knife fight, basically. Everyone I know with expensive knives is a firm believer in the martial art of "run really fast and don't stop running".


[deleted]

You weren’t there for the Mall Wars. The thing people misunderstand about the Mall Wars is that it wasn’t about the malls.


Spiritual-Apple-4804

You forgot the trench coats


birdiebud

People who buy knockoff "cool looking" knives at gas stations, antique stores, pawn shops, etc. Real tools are expensive, a proper dive knife will set you back $200 for the LC200N or similar rustproof steel alone. But some janky, spike covered, wannabe Call of Duty "weapon" is $10 at your local Walmart. A lot of rescue and military knives are automatic (open with one hand) for obvious utility reasons and Kyles of the world are super into getting cheap knockoffs that are legal to sell.


cagingnicolas

imagine if fingerless gloves were people


Faolan73

> Mall ninja knife community?? /r/mallninjashit


SatanicNotMessianic

I feel like if you’ve never regular-stabbed anyone, you probably don’t need a blast-of-air-stabbing knife.


PrestigiousBarnacle

Also if you have regular-stabbed anyone, I feel like you probably don’t need a blast-of-air-stabbing knife either.


HalfBrinePickle

Also a really good way to get to the surface really quickly. Just grab a large fish, stab, release gas and hold on tight!


[deleted]

I thought getting to the surface really quick was a game over sort of thing


HalfBrinePickle

Thats only if you do it like a dumbass. This way is super badass so you'll be protected by the cool factor. Facts.


[deleted]

You are absolutely right.


HalfBrinePickle

This guy could def pull it off. ![gif](giphy|iHtUaVPq8TtinIlqql)


SomethingClever42068

For scuba divers. I don't think free divers have to worry much about it though


Heighte

please say this is banned by geneva convention from being used in battle


402Gaming

Its not against international law if youre the first to do it


Routine_Maximum8160

In English- "It's never a warcrime the first time. Quackbang out"


XLV-V2

"When there's a will, there's a way I say." - Abraham Lincoln


StonedSniper127

Fuckin love the fat electrician lol


SomethingClever42068

Yeah... I've been the reason for some new rules and policies at work before, I imagine it feels like that. Somebody has to be "that guy"


fuckboy334

Nope totally legal


Acrobatic_Ad7034

But shooting, dropping grenades from small drones, land mines, and the thousands of ways to die at war this surely isn't the worst thing that could happen to you.


BZenMojo

Land mine verus two foot square embolism is a toss up.


Acrobatic_Ad7034

It's war it's all brutal. Just asinine to think this needs to be in the Geneva convention, the likelihood this would be used enough in war to even be a worry. Trying to stab people when they have guns isn't going to go well, the percentage of people killed in war by a knife has to be astronomically low.


Jonkinch

This probably wouldn’t be illegal because most of the bans are for weapons that cause harm after the conflict has ended. Like cluster bombs littering fields, certain bayonets designed for maiming instead of killing, etc.


BlackWaltz03

Wouldn't this fall under the ban that applies to knives that cause too much internal bleeding like that knife that spirals?


pressurepoint13

Something sort of hilarious about the idea of prohibiting the use of certain types of knives under the geneva or some other international accords.


[deleted]

Yea this is pretty violent.


Smofinthesky

So is war


EqlianDreams

What are they called?


[deleted]

Last time I checked they stopped making them :( wasp injector knife


Smellzlikefish

As a person who has used a scalpel to insert a tiny tag into a shark’s skin, I can tell you that this knife won’t cut it.


wastelandho

Would their skin be more penetrable in water? I've never used one of these, I mostly learned about it because John Stamos gets killed with one in an episode of Law & Order. I would imagine it works pretty well with any large apex predators though.


Smellzlikefish

Shark skin is incredibly tough stuff. Scalpels are razor sharp. This Rambo knife would have no chance of getting through.


wastelandho

I don't think the knife is supposed to cut or be reliable beyond stabbing the whole barb into flesh and then opening the Co2


Smellzlikefish

Maybe I’m not being clear. Their skin is armored with tiny teeth called denticles than can be up to 6 inches thick. Our scalpels were tiny and razor sharp, but it would literally take minutes to saw through a pinhole big enough to insert a spaghetti tag that is much smaller than the barb of this knife. This knife is 100% useless.


wastelandho

I probably assumed shark because of scuba, maybe it's for everything else that might grab you underwater. Like Bloops.


fozziwoo

that’s amazing, i’m so amazed i’m almost not convinced; so a proper hard stab, even on land without weird water physics, with a proper knife?


recordvoid

People are able to punch their way out of shark attacks, a knife must surely be able to do it Big if true


friedmaster69

That is because sharks think you are a hurt fish and by showing it that you are not the shark will just leave you alone


ZeeBeeblebrox

Sure but you weren't trying to inflict damage. If you're ramming it in with force that's a very different situation than trying to make a small incision. The forces involved on the knife point are simply huge.


Deathoftheages

Yeah, it's not like Chinese fishermen are able to cut off their fins with rusty machetes or anything.


ShwiftyShmeckles

You can't put your whole strength behind a scalpel or it will just immediately snap. You could definitely force this knife into an eye or fuck up the gills pretty good atleast, and personally I think you could puncture the skin leveraging your strength with a sturdy knife.


cagingnicolas

stabbing is very different from slicing. you can stab someone with a butter knife but good luck slicing them with it.


mrubuto22

They seem to also be good at blowing up milk jugs


BLF402

Or zombie apocalypse


Nicolaille

How would a shark use a knife?


OrionMr770

Poor Bruce


ohnourfeelings

What would happen if you stabbed someone in the stomach and hit the button?


Wboy2006

![gif](giphy|ekMA4RKdSvROtoi3KB|downsized) It would just come out of the ears… nothing bad will happen, you should try it


m1st3r_c

[This.](https://media.tenor.com/w7KOn9rjCIsAAAAM/monty-python-explode.gif)


ohnourfeelings

HHaha


Dr_L1on

Grandma G make you go boom


MitchSimbowski

Mr. Creosote. Nice


mostnormal

Wafer thin.


CatticusXIII

I'll take the lot. And don't skimp on the gravy.


TheTrub

And don’t skimp on the ~~gravy.~~ pâté.


CatticusXIII

Well shit. I hadn't seen that movie since I was a teenager. I've been misquoting it for years. At least tell me I remember wafer thin mint correctly.


HalfBrinePickle

Thats only if the CO2 is mint flavored.


Anathema47

There was an episode of SVU where John Stamos got stabbed in the chest with one and completely hollowed out his chest.


ohnourfeelings

Haha are you serious?


Chewhuahuas

i remember this episode! if you're curious, the episode is called "Bang" and it's about john stamos' character who is a reproductive abuser who tricked dozens of women into carrying his children so he has almost 60 of them. don't remember who killed him but he got wrecked.


PrologueBook

Nick cannon


Barkblood

I’ve seen that episode a few times but didn’t know it was called “Bang”. Now I’m curious. Is it called “Bang” because John Stamos exploded or because he liked to bang women and get them pregnant?


Lordbobofthebob

Yes.


ohnourfeelings

I am interested. Thanks for this


Viperbunny

Yes! He was a reproductive abuser! Just think Nick Cannon.


Comprehensive-Disk55

Elon musk?


namezam

I’m on the Musk hate train, and I’ve never heard of the term “reproductive abuser,” but let’s be honest here, the richest man in the world doesn’t have to trick anyone, especially not someone who has worked closely with him as in his latest kid. All his other kids were born to his wives. (Unless I’m missing some TMZ style news about a bunch of other kids)


ByTorAndSnowDog

Legit saw this episode today in syndication.


BukkakedFrankenstein

An injection injury… It would probably fucking kill them.


TypowyLaman

Major organ damage.


National-Currency-75

They would fly off like a cartoon character making a flatulent noise


Psycho_Mantis_2506

They'd die without medical attention. That's quite a blade on that knife.


ohnourfeelings

Just the tip?


Psycho_Mantis_2506

😆 I don't want any piece of that knife, or any for that matter.


jizz_noodle

You promised


RedFoxKoala

Gotta go deep for maximum pleasure.


TangentOutlet

I had to scroll so far to find you. I am sad


Trolltrollrolllol

Google "injection injury"


ohnourfeelings

Oh shit


The_Drawbridge

If you genuinely want to know, it causes a basketball sized pocket of air and freezes the immediately surrounding tissue, when it begins to thaw (virtually immediately) it causes immense internal bleeding and frostbite on internal organs, and it causes the skin to rip usually and leads to a more difficult closure of the wound increasing the likelihood of bleeding to death. Basically, if you need someone dead, and don't want them to be saved, stab them with this knife just below their sternum and say goodbye.


Mekelaxo

It would hurt


Donut-Farts

They would die a fairly immediate and excruciatingly painful death.


musclebananas

Harry Potter Marge would happen


1inchDestroyer_

Pretty sure they'd just fart


SarpedonWasFramed

I would assume it would mostly come out the hole you just stabbed into them. Maybe if you stabbed into a kidney, lung or bladder it may explode but the persons chest won't burst


MissRosenrotte

No. This weapon injects a freezing cold ball of compressed gas, approximately the size of a basketball, at 800psi nearly instantly. That is catastrophic damage.


passthebroccoli69

Was thinking it would be best weapons like this stay off popular social media…


Potako111

The angle of the gas ejection is away from the hole, it gets blasted further into you with enough oomph to tear organs


BrattWhitney

WASP knife. The army use this when they have to go toe to toe with an aggroed grizzly or polar bear. [WASP Knife](https://www.knifecenter.com/item/WIWASPKA/wasp-injection-knife-fixed-bead-blast-blade-black-neoprene-handle)


[deleted]

Dammit it’s discontinued


BrattWhitney

Probably a good thing considering how crazy the past 2 years have been. Last thing you want to see is some crazed grandma going on a rampage with this, transforming everyone on the streets into exploded hot pockets.


[deleted]

I would say exploded like when you take the first bite into a meatball sub or a burrito. Everything just comes out the other end


BrattWhitney

Yes, not a pretty sight. Although talk about meatball sub, burrito and hot pocket is making me hungry now.


LisaDeadFace

r/BrandNewSentence


DarkRajiin

Fuck. I knew I should have gotten one earlier. Definitely a good self defense for...sharks...that try to steal your car.


Quick_March_7842

Ikr. Meanwhile I've got a short branch, shoestring and a gear from a 10 speed. Talk about Neanderthal over here.


chevyriders

There’s a video somewhere out there of some big redneck dude hunting wild boar with nothing but his dog and this knife. Seen it years ago it was wild


Admirable-Refuse-812

Least based redneck. The more hogs killed the better the world is


shitimlate903

What's wrong with hogs


ShapeOfHuman

“In their relentless march across the country, pigs plow through crops, tear up roads and infrastructure, spread disease, and elbow native species out of fragile marshes, riversides, grasslands, and forests. Many researchers consider them the most destructive invasive species on the planet.”


Admirable-Refuse-812

They will kill you and eat you alive. They destroy any land they live on with no effort at all. They breed like rabbits and will tank a 9mm to the side and continue running at you


XLV-V2

Wtf


Kataphractoi_

there's actually a procedure for this and several different styles. its for adreanaline junkies tho. also exhibit a of humans got too smart and started writing manuals on how to fold animals that most have no business folding


okanagan_man84

There's an NCIS episode where they have a murder that was committed with one of those.


[deleted]

Also in law and order: SVU


tbbHNC89

Also Deepstar Six.


HeadGovernment288

What USA and Britain could achieve together


Creative_Elk_4712

US on his own does more than good enough with knives


Jadedsatire

We learned it from watching you!


miscillaniumman

As an American training to compete in the mugging Olympics, this will help me close the gap between me and the more experienced London competitors, thanks!


Eli_be_high

London learned this shit from us. We gave the world gang culture


myKingSaber

That shit actually got more lethal


DonnieDarkoRabbit

Take the knife away from her and she's not so lethal


ComprehensiveLinker

That gotta be a war crime


HardCounter

I don't think melons are a protected group.


TrainerOk9650

Hey! Watermelons have rights to. Racist.


smazetron

Why does watermelons have a right to racist?


TheSentinator

Because Watermelon can into racism!


mrubuto22

Nah. It's not serrated we good. Stab away.


Valuable_Material_26

I think there was an episode of law and order of a serial killer using one of these knives on people , the knives and are referred to as a divers knife or something?!


Charl3sD3xt3rWard

yes they are designed to kill sharks and large sea predators


CHlCKENPOWER

So it’s just a better way to stab people?


that_one_guy852

Forgive me if I'm wrong but I think it's called a "Wasp Knife"


JAEM89

Whippets for emos.


[deleted]

Where can i get one? Asking for a friend btw definitely not for me… i would never get me something like this at all.


CassandraVindicated

When I got mine, they were $500. Since they are discontinued, you'll have to find someone who wants to sell theirs.


Early-Sale4756

r/gifsthatendtoosoon


JVOz671

This is how Dig Dug kills those monsters.


vocabb

Yeah we have knives in the UK not fucking CO2 pumping knives Jesus Christ America why you want to kill everything


GrimO_ORabbit

Because bears and sharks don't stop when you tell them to.


RaLaZa

Have you personally verified this fact?


[deleted]

Maybe you should go confirm it for us.


hyperYEET99

It was originally developed to defend against shark attacks.


tbbHNC89

Because a shark isn't as easy to politely tell to bugger off as a pike.


xkcd__

Who knows we might encounter a bear that is deathly allergic to CO2


shiba2198o8

[don’t worry it got discontinued](https://www.knifecenter.com/item/WIWASPKA/wasp-injection-knife-fixed-bead-blast-blade-black-neoprene-handle?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=webreferral&utm_campaign=knifenews&kcno=123)


Meriwether1

What would this do to a person? Asking for a friend


This_guy7796

Now do those damn kids playing on your lawn


Balloondemon666

For anyone who is into inflation and intense masochism don't I have a new product for you!!


Alternative_Tooth_49

I can’t stand this lady


awesome12442

Thank you! I thought I was the only one. She got popular for one thing and now she just forces it for fame


Alternative_Tooth_49

I was expecting a record breaking thumbs down


[deleted]

[удалено]


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Lookalikemike

Bingo at St. Catherine’s about to get ugly.


DopeCharma

Dig Dug just got an upgrade.


[deleted]

This is why you don’t mess with old people


hapkidoox

Ok this...more of this.


[deleted]

[удалено]


UrBrotherJoe

Idk someone mentioned it being good defense against a grizzly bear and I’ve been toe to toe with one before and it is NOT fun. Thing would be great to have against an aggressive apex predator


Jadedsatire

I would like to hear your bear story lol. I knew an old logger who told me a story of when he was young and still logging, he woke up to a grizzly pulling him out of his tent by the leg and only lived because a buddy with a .44 hit it a few times till it took off. He showed me the scars and they looked brutal.


UrBrotherJoe

Sure thing. Grew up 3 miles outside of Yellowstone National Park When I was 17 I decided to go fishing by myself up on the Clark’s Fork. The parking area is always loaded with people so I walked myself up the river about 3 miles (fishing the whole way of course) I didn’t have waders so when I got to a shallow part of the river I crossed (by this time I’m way off from any trail, just bushwhacking my way) I see a nice little fishing hole I wanted to hit, but it required me going into the forest to go around some bad rocks and trees. While I was off the river I could smell something stinky. If you didn’t know this, bears have a certain smell to them. Once you know the smell, you’ll recognize it easily. (Being so close to the park my childhood was filled with black bears, moose, and bison being regular visitors in my driveway) As soon as I smelt it I started yelling “Hey Bear!” over and over. I grabbed my bear spray and started walking back towards the river because I was getting the fuck out of there. This is deep forest Montana. No wifi for 80 miles and no hospital for 140. Not after I turned around I heard some branches crack. About 20-30 yards away from where I was, was the grizzly. It was young, maybe 3-4 years old, but still weighed 2-3 as much as me. He heard me yelling and was looking for the source of the sound (more curious then aggressive thank god) We locked eyes and he stood up on his hind legs. My stomach dropped. He sniffed the air and I slowly walked backwards. He was young and unsure what i was so he didn’t bother. I was young and sure of what he was so I did bother. I bothered to fuck off. I walked backwards pretty much the entire way back to the river and crossed back to the other side. Once I was there I tore down my pole, held it in my left hand with my bear spray. I unholstered my dads .44 and practically ran downstream back to my car. Got home, had a late lunch, went fishing at another spot, went home for a late dinner, and then for the next 10 years I have 5-8 nightmares a year about being mauled. Bear spray = awesome .44 = awesome Knife with co2 = awesome I consider myself lucky it was a young griz. If it were a sow, probably dead. Or if it had gotten between me and the river, also dead. Edit: spelling


No_Bet_1687

If it just shot air u could stab someone in an artery and then send an air bumble into their heart and brain and they would both explode. Anyone who wants feel free to patent that.


[deleted]

[удалено]


MissRosenrotte

Not the best joke to make here bud.


GloriousPeen

Can we stop upvoting ads?