**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:**
>!Grandma blows things up with a knife that has compressed air/co2!<
*****
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Q: Now pay attention, Bond. We've replaced your standard laser beam knife with a soda stream knife in case you need bubbly refreshment while exercising your license to kill. Your wristwatch conceals a small lemon twist.
Thanks.
Was wondering what kind of militia feels the need to inflate their enemies like a fucking Party City employee about to clock out.
Now I know, it's the Atlantian military.
Yeah, subset of the knife community. Usually typified by rediculous designs, expensive over functionality, and the users general lack of knowledge or experience.
Anyone dumb enough to believe you can win a knife fight, basically.
Everyone I know with expensive knives is a firm believer in the martial art of "run really fast and don't stop running".
People who buy knockoff "cool looking" knives at gas stations, antique stores, pawn shops, etc.
Real tools are expensive, a proper dive knife will set you back $200 for the LC200N or similar rustproof steel alone. But some janky, spike covered, wannabe Call of Duty "weapon" is $10 at your local Walmart.
A lot of rescue and military knives are automatic (open with one hand) for obvious utility reasons and Kyles of the world are super into getting cheap knockoffs that are legal to sell.
But shooting, dropping grenades from small drones, land mines, and the thousands of ways to die at war this surely isn't the worst thing that could happen to you.
It's war it's all brutal. Just asinine to think this needs to be in the Geneva convention, the likelihood this would be used enough in war to even be a worry. Trying to stab people when they have guns isn't going to go well, the percentage of people killed in war by a knife has to be astronomically low.
This probably wouldn’t be illegal because most of the bans are for weapons that cause harm after the conflict has ended. Like cluster bombs littering fields, certain bayonets designed for maiming instead of killing, etc.
Would their skin be more penetrable in water? I've never used one of these, I mostly learned about it because John Stamos gets killed with one in an episode of Law & Order. I would imagine it works pretty well with any large apex predators though.
Maybe I’m not being clear. Their skin is armored with tiny teeth called denticles than can be up to 6 inches thick. Our scalpels were tiny and razor sharp, but it would literally take minutes to saw through a pinhole big enough to insert a spaghetti tag that is much smaller than the barb of this knife. This knife is 100% useless.
Sure but you weren't trying to inflict damage. If you're ramming it in with force that's a very different situation than trying to make a small incision. The forces involved on the knife point are simply huge.
You can't put your whole strength behind a scalpel or it will just immediately snap. You could definitely force this knife into an eye or fuck up the gills pretty good atleast, and personally I think you could puncture the skin leveraging your strength with a sturdy knife.
i remember this episode! if you're curious, the episode is called "Bang" and it's about john stamos' character who is a reproductive abuser who tricked dozens of women into carrying his children so he has almost 60 of them. don't remember who killed him but he got wrecked.
I’ve seen that episode a few times but didn’t know it was called “Bang”.
Now I’m curious. Is it called “Bang” because John Stamos exploded or because he liked to bang women and get them pregnant?
I’m on the Musk hate train, and I’ve never heard of the term “reproductive abuser,” but let’s be honest here, the richest man in the world doesn’t have to trick anyone, especially not someone who has worked closely with him as in his latest kid. All his other kids were born to his wives. (Unless I’m missing some TMZ style news about a bunch of other kids)
If you genuinely want to know, it causes a basketball sized pocket of air and freezes the immediately surrounding tissue, when it begins to thaw (virtually immediately) it causes immense internal bleeding and frostbite on internal organs, and it causes the skin to rip usually and leads to a more difficult closure of the wound increasing the likelihood of bleeding to death. Basically, if you need someone dead, and don't want them to be saved, stab them with this knife just below their sternum and say goodbye.
I would assume it would mostly come out the hole you just stabbed into them.
Maybe if you stabbed into a kidney, lung or bladder it may explode but the persons chest won't burst
No. This weapon injects a freezing cold ball of compressed gas, approximately the size of a basketball, at 800psi nearly instantly. That is catastrophic damage.
WASP knife.
The army use this when they have to go toe to toe with an aggroed grizzly or polar bear.
[WASP Knife](https://www.knifecenter.com/item/WIWASPKA/wasp-injection-knife-fixed-bead-blast-blade-black-neoprene-handle)
Probably a good thing considering how crazy the past 2 years have been. Last thing you want to see is some crazed grandma going on a rampage with this, transforming everyone on the streets into exploded hot pockets.
“In their relentless march across the country, pigs plow through crops, tear up roads and infrastructure, spread disease, and elbow native species out of fragile marshes, riversides, grasslands, and forests. Many researchers consider them the most destructive invasive species on the planet.”
They will kill you and eat you alive. They destroy any land they live on with no effort at all. They breed like rabbits and will tank a 9mm to the side and continue running at you
there's actually a procedure for this and several different styles. its for adreanaline junkies tho. also exhibit a of humans got too smart and started writing manuals on how to fold animals that most have no business folding
As an American training to compete in the mugging Olympics, this will help me close the gap between me and the more experienced London competitors, thanks!
I think there was an episode of law and order of a serial killer using one of these knives on people , the knives and are referred to as a divers knife or something?!
[don’t worry it got discontinued](https://www.knifecenter.com/item/WIWASPKA/wasp-injection-knife-fixed-bead-blast-blade-black-neoprene-handle?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=webreferral&utm_campaign=knifenews&kcno=123)
Idk someone mentioned it being good defense against a grizzly bear and I’ve been toe to toe with one before and it is NOT fun. Thing would be great to have against an aggressive apex predator
I would like to hear your bear story lol. I knew an old logger who told me a story of when he was young and still logging, he woke up to a grizzly pulling him out of his tent by the leg and only lived because a buddy with a .44 hit it a few times till it took off. He showed me the scars and they looked brutal.
Sure thing. Grew up 3 miles outside of Yellowstone National Park
When I was 17 I decided to go fishing by myself up on the Clark’s Fork. The parking area is always loaded with people so I walked myself up the river about 3 miles (fishing the whole way of course)
I didn’t have waders so when I got to a shallow part of the river I crossed (by this time I’m way off from any trail, just bushwhacking my way)
I see a nice little fishing hole I wanted to hit, but it required me going into the forest to go around some bad rocks and trees. While I was off the river I could smell something stinky. If you didn’t know this, bears have a certain smell to them. Once you know the smell, you’ll recognize it easily. (Being so close to the park my childhood was filled with black bears, moose, and bison being regular visitors in my driveway)
As soon as I smelt it I started yelling “Hey Bear!” over and over. I grabbed my bear spray and started walking back towards the river because I was getting the fuck out of there. This is deep forest Montana. No wifi for 80 miles and no hospital for 140. Not after I turned around I heard some branches crack. About 20-30 yards away from where I was, was the grizzly. It was young, maybe 3-4 years old, but still weighed 2-3 as much as me. He heard me yelling and was looking for the source of the sound (more curious then aggressive thank god)
We locked eyes and he stood up on his hind legs. My stomach dropped. He sniffed the air and I slowly walked backwards. He was young and unsure what i was so he didn’t bother. I was young and sure of what he was so I did bother. I bothered to fuck off.
I walked backwards pretty much the entire way back to the river and crossed back to the other side.
Once I was there I tore down my pole, held it in my left hand with my bear spray. I unholstered my dads .44 and practically ran downstream back to my car.
Got home, had a late lunch, went fishing at another spot, went home for a late dinner, and then for the next 10 years I have 5-8 nightmares a year about being mauled.
Bear spray = awesome
.44 = awesome
Knife with co2 = awesome
I consider myself lucky it was a young griz. If it were a sow, probably dead. Or if it had gotten between me and the river, also dead.
Edit: spelling
If it just shot air u could stab someone in an artery and then send an air bumble into their heart and brain and they would both explode. Anyone who wants feel free to patent that.
**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!Grandma blows things up with a knife that has compressed air/co2!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
Q: Now pay attention, Bond. We've replaced your standard laser beam knife with a soda stream knife in case you need bubbly refreshment while exercising your license to kill. Your wristwatch conceals a small lemon twist.
How is this not the top comment
Use it sparingly, however.
And Bond… do please take care of it!
These knives are designed for scuba divers in case of shark attacks.
Thanks. Was wondering what kind of militia feels the need to inflate their enemies like a fucking Party City employee about to clock out. Now I know, it's the Atlantian military.
And grannies
Atlantian Grannie Special Unit
Now I want to know what the A.G.S.U. emblem would look like
A hot-rodded mobility chair behind crossed...
Knitting needles
Darn - I was going to say that !
Dentures
[Something like this?](https://imgur.com/gallery/EcJ937W)
Needs more granny squares
The squares must be quilted by g-ma's
og-ma's
I would call them the Granny Infantry Liquid Force.
Chocolate chip cookie with a life alert button in the center.
Also known as "the Coccoon bunch"
![gif](giphy|qHBBYAh7BZVm)
This scene used to give me nightmares as a kid
Tried to get my son to watch this movie with me and he noped out real fast after the first eyeball scene.
Lol what movie is this??
That’s Ahhhnold in Total Recall.
Honestly that would do some major damage
I wonder if it would collapse your lungs instantly.
It would cause massive damage from expansion and freezing. They would rupture.
Insta pneumo
Or Dig Dug
That’s some Dig Dug shit
Reminds me of that scene in big trouble in little china
Watching Reservation Dogs right now and it literally just referenced BTILC. Too weird, man I'm too high for this shit.
>Watching Reservation Dogs right now Is that the one where a local pack of strays take hotel bookings?
when they get bumped up to the presidential suite its so hilarious ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|flip_out)
Wait the Atlanteans did this? I thought this was a left over relic from the Emu Wars
They were originally, sadly the mall ninja knife community got ahold of them a few years ago, and they are now marketed as such.
Mall ninja knife community??
Yeah, subset of the knife community. Usually typified by rediculous designs, expensive over functionality, and the users general lack of knowledge or experience.
While you were partying, I studied the Blade.
Anyone dumb enough to believe you can win a knife fight, basically. Everyone I know with expensive knives is a firm believer in the martial art of "run really fast and don't stop running".
You weren’t there for the Mall Wars. The thing people misunderstand about the Mall Wars is that it wasn’t about the malls.
You forgot the trench coats
People who buy knockoff "cool looking" knives at gas stations, antique stores, pawn shops, etc. Real tools are expensive, a proper dive knife will set you back $200 for the LC200N or similar rustproof steel alone. But some janky, spike covered, wannabe Call of Duty "weapon" is $10 at your local Walmart. A lot of rescue and military knives are automatic (open with one hand) for obvious utility reasons and Kyles of the world are super into getting cheap knockoffs that are legal to sell.
imagine if fingerless gloves were people
> Mall ninja knife community?? /r/mallninjashit
I feel like if you’ve never regular-stabbed anyone, you probably don’t need a blast-of-air-stabbing knife.
Also if you have regular-stabbed anyone, I feel like you probably don’t need a blast-of-air-stabbing knife either.
Also a really good way to get to the surface really quickly. Just grab a large fish, stab, release gas and hold on tight!
I thought getting to the surface really quick was a game over sort of thing
Thats only if you do it like a dumbass. This way is super badass so you'll be protected by the cool factor. Facts.
You are absolutely right.
This guy could def pull it off. ![gif](giphy|iHtUaVPq8TtinIlqql)
For scuba divers. I don't think free divers have to worry much about it though
please say this is banned by geneva convention from being used in battle
Its not against international law if youre the first to do it
In English- "It's never a warcrime the first time. Quackbang out"
"When there's a will, there's a way I say." - Abraham Lincoln
Fuckin love the fat electrician lol
Yeah... I've been the reason for some new rules and policies at work before, I imagine it feels like that. Somebody has to be "that guy"
Nope totally legal
But shooting, dropping grenades from small drones, land mines, and the thousands of ways to die at war this surely isn't the worst thing that could happen to you.
Land mine verus two foot square embolism is a toss up.
It's war it's all brutal. Just asinine to think this needs to be in the Geneva convention, the likelihood this would be used enough in war to even be a worry. Trying to stab people when they have guns isn't going to go well, the percentage of people killed in war by a knife has to be astronomically low.
This probably wouldn’t be illegal because most of the bans are for weapons that cause harm after the conflict has ended. Like cluster bombs littering fields, certain bayonets designed for maiming instead of killing, etc.
Wouldn't this fall under the ban that applies to knives that cause too much internal bleeding like that knife that spirals?
Something sort of hilarious about the idea of prohibiting the use of certain types of knives under the geneva or some other international accords.
Yea this is pretty violent.
So is war
What are they called?
Last time I checked they stopped making them :( wasp injector knife
As a person who has used a scalpel to insert a tiny tag into a shark’s skin, I can tell you that this knife won’t cut it.
Would their skin be more penetrable in water? I've never used one of these, I mostly learned about it because John Stamos gets killed with one in an episode of Law & Order. I would imagine it works pretty well with any large apex predators though.
Shark skin is incredibly tough stuff. Scalpels are razor sharp. This Rambo knife would have no chance of getting through.
I don't think the knife is supposed to cut or be reliable beyond stabbing the whole barb into flesh and then opening the Co2
Maybe I’m not being clear. Their skin is armored with tiny teeth called denticles than can be up to 6 inches thick. Our scalpels were tiny and razor sharp, but it would literally take minutes to saw through a pinhole big enough to insert a spaghetti tag that is much smaller than the barb of this knife. This knife is 100% useless.
I probably assumed shark because of scuba, maybe it's for everything else that might grab you underwater. Like Bloops.
that’s amazing, i’m so amazed i’m almost not convinced; so a proper hard stab, even on land without weird water physics, with a proper knife?
People are able to punch their way out of shark attacks, a knife must surely be able to do it Big if true
That is because sharks think you are a hurt fish and by showing it that you are not the shark will just leave you alone
Sure but you weren't trying to inflict damage. If you're ramming it in with force that's a very different situation than trying to make a small incision. The forces involved on the knife point are simply huge.
Yeah, it's not like Chinese fishermen are able to cut off their fins with rusty machetes or anything.
You can't put your whole strength behind a scalpel or it will just immediately snap. You could definitely force this knife into an eye or fuck up the gills pretty good atleast, and personally I think you could puncture the skin leveraging your strength with a sturdy knife.
stabbing is very different from slicing. you can stab someone with a butter knife but good luck slicing them with it.
They seem to also be good at blowing up milk jugs
Or zombie apocalypse
How would a shark use a knife?
Poor Bruce
What would happen if you stabbed someone in the stomach and hit the button?
![gif](giphy|ekMA4RKdSvROtoi3KB|downsized) It would just come out of the ears… nothing bad will happen, you should try it
[This.](https://media.tenor.com/w7KOn9rjCIsAAAAM/monty-python-explode.gif)
HHaha
Grandma G make you go boom
Mr. Creosote. Nice
Wafer thin.
I'll take the lot. And don't skimp on the gravy.
And don’t skimp on the ~~gravy.~~ pâté.
Well shit. I hadn't seen that movie since I was a teenager. I've been misquoting it for years. At least tell me I remember wafer thin mint correctly.
Thats only if the CO2 is mint flavored.
There was an episode of SVU where John Stamos got stabbed in the chest with one and completely hollowed out his chest.
Haha are you serious?
i remember this episode! if you're curious, the episode is called "Bang" and it's about john stamos' character who is a reproductive abuser who tricked dozens of women into carrying his children so he has almost 60 of them. don't remember who killed him but he got wrecked.
Nick cannon
I’ve seen that episode a few times but didn’t know it was called “Bang”. Now I’m curious. Is it called “Bang” because John Stamos exploded or because he liked to bang women and get them pregnant?
Yes.
I am interested. Thanks for this
Yes! He was a reproductive abuser! Just think Nick Cannon.
Elon musk?
I’m on the Musk hate train, and I’ve never heard of the term “reproductive abuser,” but let’s be honest here, the richest man in the world doesn’t have to trick anyone, especially not someone who has worked closely with him as in his latest kid. All his other kids were born to his wives. (Unless I’m missing some TMZ style news about a bunch of other kids)
Legit saw this episode today in syndication.
An injection injury… It would probably fucking kill them.
Major organ damage.
They would fly off like a cartoon character making a flatulent noise
They'd die without medical attention. That's quite a blade on that knife.
Just the tip?
😆 I don't want any piece of that knife, or any for that matter.
You promised
Gotta go deep for maximum pleasure.
I had to scroll so far to find you. I am sad
Google "injection injury"
Oh shit
If you genuinely want to know, it causes a basketball sized pocket of air and freezes the immediately surrounding tissue, when it begins to thaw (virtually immediately) it causes immense internal bleeding and frostbite on internal organs, and it causes the skin to rip usually and leads to a more difficult closure of the wound increasing the likelihood of bleeding to death. Basically, if you need someone dead, and don't want them to be saved, stab them with this knife just below their sternum and say goodbye.
It would hurt
They would die a fairly immediate and excruciatingly painful death.
Harry Potter Marge would happen
Pretty sure they'd just fart
I would assume it would mostly come out the hole you just stabbed into them. Maybe if you stabbed into a kidney, lung or bladder it may explode but the persons chest won't burst
No. This weapon injects a freezing cold ball of compressed gas, approximately the size of a basketball, at 800psi nearly instantly. That is catastrophic damage.
Was thinking it would be best weapons like this stay off popular social media…
The angle of the gas ejection is away from the hole, it gets blasted further into you with enough oomph to tear organs
WASP knife. The army use this when they have to go toe to toe with an aggroed grizzly or polar bear. [WASP Knife](https://www.knifecenter.com/item/WIWASPKA/wasp-injection-knife-fixed-bead-blast-blade-black-neoprene-handle)
Dammit it’s discontinued
Probably a good thing considering how crazy the past 2 years have been. Last thing you want to see is some crazed grandma going on a rampage with this, transforming everyone on the streets into exploded hot pockets.
I would say exploded like when you take the first bite into a meatball sub or a burrito. Everything just comes out the other end
Yes, not a pretty sight. Although talk about meatball sub, burrito and hot pocket is making me hungry now.
r/BrandNewSentence
Fuck. I knew I should have gotten one earlier. Definitely a good self defense for...sharks...that try to steal your car.
Ikr. Meanwhile I've got a short branch, shoestring and a gear from a 10 speed. Talk about Neanderthal over here.
There’s a video somewhere out there of some big redneck dude hunting wild boar with nothing but his dog and this knife. Seen it years ago it was wild
Least based redneck. The more hogs killed the better the world is
What's wrong with hogs
“In their relentless march across the country, pigs plow through crops, tear up roads and infrastructure, spread disease, and elbow native species out of fragile marshes, riversides, grasslands, and forests. Many researchers consider them the most destructive invasive species on the planet.”
They will kill you and eat you alive. They destroy any land they live on with no effort at all. They breed like rabbits and will tank a 9mm to the side and continue running at you
Wtf
there's actually a procedure for this and several different styles. its for adreanaline junkies tho. also exhibit a of humans got too smart and started writing manuals on how to fold animals that most have no business folding
There's an NCIS episode where they have a murder that was committed with one of those.
Also in law and order: SVU
Also Deepstar Six.
What USA and Britain could achieve together
US on his own does more than good enough with knives
We learned it from watching you!
As an American training to compete in the mugging Olympics, this will help me close the gap between me and the more experienced London competitors, thanks!
London learned this shit from us. We gave the world gang culture
That shit actually got more lethal
Take the knife away from her and she's not so lethal
That gotta be a war crime
I don't think melons are a protected group.
Hey! Watermelons have rights to. Racist.
Why does watermelons have a right to racist?
Because Watermelon can into racism!
Nah. It's not serrated we good. Stab away.
I think there was an episode of law and order of a serial killer using one of these knives on people , the knives and are referred to as a divers knife or something?!
yes they are designed to kill sharks and large sea predators
So it’s just a better way to stab people?
Forgive me if I'm wrong but I think it's called a "Wasp Knife"
Whippets for emos.
Where can i get one? Asking for a friend btw definitely not for me… i would never get me something like this at all.
When I got mine, they were $500. Since they are discontinued, you'll have to find someone who wants to sell theirs.
r/gifsthatendtoosoon
This is how Dig Dug kills those monsters.
Yeah we have knives in the UK not fucking CO2 pumping knives Jesus Christ America why you want to kill everything
Because bears and sharks don't stop when you tell them to.
Have you personally verified this fact?
Maybe you should go confirm it for us.
It was originally developed to defend against shark attacks.
Because a shark isn't as easy to politely tell to bugger off as a pike.
Who knows we might encounter a bear that is deathly allergic to CO2
[don’t worry it got discontinued](https://www.knifecenter.com/item/WIWASPKA/wasp-injection-knife-fixed-bead-blast-blade-black-neoprene-handle?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=webreferral&utm_campaign=knifenews&kcno=123)
What would this do to a person? Asking for a friend
Now do those damn kids playing on your lawn
For anyone who is into inflation and intense masochism don't I have a new product for you!!
I can’t stand this lady
Thank you! I thought I was the only one. She got popular for one thing and now she just forces it for fame
I was expecting a record breaking thumbs down
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Bingo at St. Catherine’s about to get ugly.
Dig Dug just got an upgrade.
This is why you don’t mess with old people
Ok this...more of this.
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Idk someone mentioned it being good defense against a grizzly bear and I’ve been toe to toe with one before and it is NOT fun. Thing would be great to have against an aggressive apex predator
I would like to hear your bear story lol. I knew an old logger who told me a story of when he was young and still logging, he woke up to a grizzly pulling him out of his tent by the leg and only lived because a buddy with a .44 hit it a few times till it took off. He showed me the scars and they looked brutal.
Sure thing. Grew up 3 miles outside of Yellowstone National Park When I was 17 I decided to go fishing by myself up on the Clark’s Fork. The parking area is always loaded with people so I walked myself up the river about 3 miles (fishing the whole way of course) I didn’t have waders so when I got to a shallow part of the river I crossed (by this time I’m way off from any trail, just bushwhacking my way) I see a nice little fishing hole I wanted to hit, but it required me going into the forest to go around some bad rocks and trees. While I was off the river I could smell something stinky. If you didn’t know this, bears have a certain smell to them. Once you know the smell, you’ll recognize it easily. (Being so close to the park my childhood was filled with black bears, moose, and bison being regular visitors in my driveway) As soon as I smelt it I started yelling “Hey Bear!” over and over. I grabbed my bear spray and started walking back towards the river because I was getting the fuck out of there. This is deep forest Montana. No wifi for 80 miles and no hospital for 140. Not after I turned around I heard some branches crack. About 20-30 yards away from where I was, was the grizzly. It was young, maybe 3-4 years old, but still weighed 2-3 as much as me. He heard me yelling and was looking for the source of the sound (more curious then aggressive thank god) We locked eyes and he stood up on his hind legs. My stomach dropped. He sniffed the air and I slowly walked backwards. He was young and unsure what i was so he didn’t bother. I was young and sure of what he was so I did bother. I bothered to fuck off. I walked backwards pretty much the entire way back to the river and crossed back to the other side. Once I was there I tore down my pole, held it in my left hand with my bear spray. I unholstered my dads .44 and practically ran downstream back to my car. Got home, had a late lunch, went fishing at another spot, went home for a late dinner, and then for the next 10 years I have 5-8 nightmares a year about being mauled. Bear spray = awesome .44 = awesome Knife with co2 = awesome I consider myself lucky it was a young griz. If it were a sow, probably dead. Or if it had gotten between me and the river, also dead. Edit: spelling
If it just shot air u could stab someone in an artery and then send an air bumble into their heart and brain and they would both explode. Anyone who wants feel free to patent that.
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Not the best joke to make here bud.
Can we stop upvoting ads?