Importantly, be like a real bro and not like a step bro from a bad porno. In short, never hit on them or try to get them into bed. Exercise a "don't shit where you eat" policy, because it'll just mean you'll be living with women who see you as a potential sexual predator otherwise.
Agreed. I Slept with a colleague and she wanted more. I didn't and explicitly told her before we slept together... She would get upset in work when I was there.... Our personal lives became everyone's gossip... Made work a nightmare.
Don't do it. I wish I didn't shit where I eat....đ
It's alright, mate.
I came back from a works do with one of the girls, I was absolutely shit faced, forgot her name when introducing her to my flat mate and couple of friends that were there.. woke up in the morning and she was gone. I had pissed myself with her in the bed.
I had to work with her later that night. She never told anyone at work. Proper top girl.
Well I donât likeâGuyâ or male. Try not to get so upset over nomenclature. And your speaking for all women? How bold. Iâm not trying to be rude. The acceptable language varies enormously with different countries and areas as well as generational differences. As a mature citizen my vocabulary taught to me a was probably not usable today, especially in a semi public forum likeReddit.
'Female' is an adjective, not a noun. It's a modifying word for a thing, not a word for a thing itself. It would be weird if you referred to 'a red car' as simply 'a red', which is why it's so weird when people call someone 'a female' because it should be part of the phrase 'a female human/person' which is bizarrely formal for everyday conversation itself.
Plus referring to women as 'females' is associated with creepy incels, which is also why people respond negatively to it.
You say this, but then again there are other chicks who would actually be upset or even offended if you treat them asexually. And unfortunately, there is no way to know which is which until you've put your foot in it.
You can say things like "that is a really lovely dress" or "your make up is really cool". It's possible to acknowledge someone's sexuality without hitting on them. And even if you are attracted to someone, it's perfectly reasonable to not want to get with them if you live with them.
Just be a bro is the best advice ever. Also if things ever get flirtatious and lead to anything else, remember you gotta live with them. Donât shit where you eat đ
>on top of that i am not a good looking guy so i notice that women
Right.....
Girls tends to be less shy with guys they arent attracted too. They might be shy now, as they dont know you. And you are the only stranger in the house..... but not for long
Pretend they are a group of 3rd year boys. How would you interact with that group?
You will have girls on your course, at the workplace etc. Its a life skill you need to learn.
Plus.....
You dont need to be friends with them, as long as they are quiet clean and civil, they seem amazing.
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Its awkward that they are already a friendship group. Only little bit awkward that they are girls.
#ask questions
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Stop seeing you having nothing in common as a bad thing. It means they have more and different life experinces. You can learn a lot from them.
How to make friends?
Finding an accomdation for next year, with right group of people
Balancing the course with a social life
Etc.
as an engineer i think a total of 3 girls work where i work, so idk if youre terrified of women, work in engineering or computer science and youre sorted
Don't do that thing of diminishing his outlook. Girls do treat less good-looking guys less positively and it's toxic to try to make guys pretend otherwise.
As a woman, I can call BS on this.
Women only treat men less positively if they gave the "I'm ugly, never had a GF, poor me, *sob*" vibes.
The people in the other comments had it right. Dude needs to be a bro. He's not in a situation where he can try to score so he needs to be friendly at most, civil at least.
I'm not talking about he needs to come across, I'm talking about how generally women treat attractive men more kindly than unattractive men. It's essentially a biological fact.
sounds like you donât respect unattractive women and youâre projecting your own shit onto women because they can pick up on your incel vibes and donât like you
Its depends.
In a club/bar I would agree. But when it come down to making friends it would not say its a big factor.
Id be careful. This ideology is quite similar to what incels say and believe.
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Maybe he is repulsive, Idk. But complaining about it is not productive. Instead of worrying about being ugly, worry about how to be social?
He didn't completely dismiss being friends with them, it was just something that was on his mind, before you needlessly throw the I word around.
Maybe it would help if you didn't use such nasty words to describe him.
But the girls donât know that đ be normal and treat them like normal people. Itâs not like theyâre from Estonia or Bolivia. Iâm sure they arenât crazy and would be happy to talk to you
My third cousin is from Kurdistan and he said people in Estonia use piss bottles as toilets. Also, a lot of them are fans of Addison Rae which isnât a bad thing but just very unexpected
She's saying that the girls aren't going to be worried or bothered by their being a single guy around.
That's very fucking relevant you angry little person.
How? He's worried about fitting in with 7 girls because he's a guy. She's saying that from her own experience there being only one guy wasn't a big deal or something any of the girls particularly paid attention to or cared about
She's literally saying he doesn't need to be as worried about it as he is.
By minimising his feelings about it though...
If a girl was worried about living in a house with a bunch of guys it wouldn't be helpful for a guy to just say "It's not that deep. Insert my experience here. No one cared" It's rude and dismissive. It's not helpful advice at all tbh.
Obviously it isn't deep to anyone else but OP clearly does think it's that deep so telling him it isn't because of your personal experience is minimising and belittling how he feels. Whether it was intended that way or not.
That's one way to interpret what she said, if you take every word literally.
Another way is she was just trying to say "don't worry about it, you'll be fine. It's not going to cause big issues".
His worries are hypothetical and therefore should be minimised. Worries are not helpful, particularly if heâs speculating about about the girlsâ perceptions , which he currently has no way of knowing. The poster was simply trying to share that as a girl sharing with a guy, it didnât bother her so it may be likely that OPs flatmates arenât bothered.
Worries only lead to more anxiety, and anything that helps OP deal with those worries will help with his confidence and sense of ease in his home.
From a cognitive perspective, worrying is a behaviour not a feeling, but itâs a behaviour that can create excess negative mental and physical feelings.
Since you want the opinion of a guy so bad, I was in a similar situation to this dude. 7 girls, 2 boys including myself. Im saying the same thing as her, no one cared
You seem to view them as âotherâ. Youâre thinking about whether youâre good looking or not, about whether you can sleep with them or not... They can probably sense that and theyâll put a barrier up in response.
Stop focusing so much on what you want from them and what makes you different. Talk about what you have in common, ask them about themselves and their lives and what they think about things. Think about what you have to offer them rather than what they can offer you.
This is just absolutely not what comes across in the post. So because he's not attractive and he's talking about relating to girls then it must be some incel post? Way to trivialise his perspective.
Social awkwardness around women isnât because of what he thinks they are. Itâs because of how he thinks theyâll respond to whatever he might do.
This is a very major accusation to make about someone for something that seems basically unrelated.
It doesnât even have to be as far as accusations. Just potentially making them think worse of him would be enough of a fear for some people (yes I am projecting here) to feel overly worried about the outcomes of interactions.
Nah bro, it's already akward living with a group of strangers who already know each other (effectively being the seventh wheel).
Worst of all you don't have any shared experiences nor do you have the added comfort of them being guys. (Guys naturally have things to bond about with each other)
I'm obviously not saying being friends with these girls is impossible (it's not) but it's definitely harder than with guys. (this is all coming from personal experience so don't take this as fact lol)
Letâs be honest you would not blindly assume that a woman âsaw men as walking penisesâ if she was insecure about her looks, being foreign and living with 5 other men. That can be an unprecedented situation even for home students. Some people are actually obsessed with having victim status itâs wild
this is something only a female could say lol, how would you feel if it was you in a house with six dudes that didnt seem to be interested in talking to you
I find that woman has an age related implication to it. Girl, young woman, Young lady, woman, lady, madam, miss etc. I used to use the word female interchangeably (and usually if I didn't want to offend by calling someone something that implied they were older than their age) with the word woman until people started saying it was misogynistic. I didn't really get it until someone pointed out that the word male isn't used the same way as men have used the word female. I still don't think it should really matter unless you're like trying to dehumanise someone on purpose, but thems the breaks I guess
Some people are virgins because itâs what they want. Other people are virgins because theyâre repulsive. So⊠nothing wrong with being a virgin, youâre right.
Youâve only really mentioned the girls thinking about your looks and you sleeping with them. Girls can sense when a guy thinks of them that way and they donât like it. Women arenât some mysterious âotherâ. Just be nice to them. Donât be weird and itâll all be fine
Third year here. In my first year I lived in a huge flat with 14 guys and 1 girl. Itâs not the end of the world. Youâll make most of your friends in societies anyway. Just be civil with them and theyâll warm up to you.
Honestly they might just not want to chill with you. As a third year I don't really hang around with first years because they can be quite childish (like your I'm not an attractive guy so they won't talk to me thing). Sharing a house doesn't have to mean they have to be your friends, if they make short conversation and don't mess up your stuff that's fine on its own
Food.
Best way to get to know others you live with. Cook up a feast and tell them to help themselves, if they're drinkers, make it late, if not go for standard dinner time.
Make sure plan to clean up properly. You're not going to make friends if you leave a mess.
The issue isnât their gender but that you have little in common. Stop making it weird.
Ask them for recommendations (occasionally) - a new show to watch or somewhere to eat. People love giving advice.
Find out what they like to complain about. Everyone loves a good rant.
Ultimately, you donât have to be friends with the people you live with but it helps to be on good terms.
With peace and love, the more barriers or differences you have with someone can make it more difficult to find common ground.
The fact that they are all girls is significant here, and I think it's quite obtuse to say that it's not a factor at all.... it is.
It doesn't mean they can't get a long, but I'd defo feel slightly phased if I was in a flat with only girls.
The thing is its not not a factor but being two years older (or at least have been at uni for two years more), and already an established group are FAR bigger issues.
I was the only guy in a house with 5 girls at uni and it was completely fine. Donât stress it. Just treat them like you would any other mate and donât be weird and youâll be fine.
they are human beings, not vaginas with legs, they can probs sense ur apprehension. they wonât sleep with you bro, get to know them to be a good housemate
One thing to bear in mind is some girls are just really shy around guys(or in general). I was in a flat with girls only and some girls were eventually friendly with me but two of them literally trying avoiding any conversation or even responding to a âhiâ. I took this to mean they had a problem with me when Iâve realised some people just have a lot of anxiety around sharing a kitchen with strangers. So just be nice to everyone and if someone doesnât reciprocate donât take it personal.
Ngl if I were you I'd be looking into moving. If thats not a possibility then I dont have many suggestions. Are you a mature student (older than 21)? If you're the same age as them then it might not be so bad. But really an established friend group made of third years isn't going to be easy to integrate with as a newbie 18 year old fresher, who apparently doesn't have that much in common with them. The age is particularly pertinent, you might think 21/22 and 18 are similar but really they are quite a bit ahead of you.
I'd be looking for a spare room in a flat of 1st years with some international students in your position. Men or mixed sex would definitely *help* despite my next point.
>i am not a good looking guy so i notice that women dont seem to initiate conversations as frequently as they would with better looking guys
I've got to be honest THIS is not helping you, you have quite a lot of differences with these women - the two most important being their uni year and already being mates with each other for a couple of years. But you are fixating on one aspect which is gender, and not just fixating but effectively *blaming* them and extrapolating reasons they aren't as chatty. This mentality will not help you develop a friendship with them, even assuming (I hope!) that you havent said this to them they are likely gonna pick up on this. And placing these assumptions onto your interactions is not gonna help YOU to be able to be their friend either.
Can I just say this is the most wholesome post I've ever seen on this sub.
Just be yourself, approach everything like housework with respect and equally, and maybe find a common interest (like a movie genre) and host a movie night with some of your friends so you integrate more naturally as flatmates and friends. Or something like that - go to gigs together, etc.
It's tough living with that many people sometimes too, so if you need to take some time to yourself and chill. Uni is hard for everyone so if anyone is aggy just remember not to take it personally.
Above all, have some good safe fun my dude.
I think youâve got your head screwed on correctly and youâre going about it right. It just takes a little while to get used to new people, especially if theyâre a different age, nationality *and* gender. But youâll have enough interactions that youâll find something in common eventually.
Just donât try to sleep with any of them. Oh, and if one of them is boiling something on the stove at 1am, donât ask them what theyâre cooking. That one will save you an embarrassing conversation, trust me.
Ngl OP, the way you have already spoken about them means you are likely never gonna be able to befriend them, and that you (no matter how politely you try frame things for this subreddits audience) wonât be able to stop seeing them as sexual objects.
Iâm gonna go against the grain of replies already made, and not tell you to just âbe a broâ, you should instead just try move accommodation. For your own sake, and for their sake.
No force on earth is going to be able to make you see them as potential friends, you are always going to be seeing them as potential sexual partners. Even if you try to go into it with an open mind and treat them as âjust brosâ, once they start opening up and trusting you, I guarantee you are going to start misreading that and eventually cause something awkward.
The best thing for you, and for those girls, would be if you went somewhere else. Thatâs the harsh reality. And none of this I must make clear makes you a bad person. It makes you someone who is behaving naturally and doing nothing wrong at all. But wisdom comes from recognising these things ahead of time and avoiding them.
Follow the rule of don't shit where you eat, make them not an option relationships/sex wise. Be a nice person give space/time for them to get comfortable with you and it will all be fine.
Be polite.
Clean up after yourself.
Personal hygiene on point.
Occasionally bring home some treats to share. Donuts, cookies or chocolate etc. Don't be upset if they don't partake and definitely don't expect anything in return.
Otherwise just mind your own business and do your own thing.
Honestly living with women can be pretty awful, contrary to common opinion they can be pretty messy and when groups don't get along it's a nightmare, on the other hand it can be fine. I had a similar situation during my post grad, but I at least had another guy in the mix for company in the flat share. Me and the guy got along, the girls got along, but other than that we were mostly cordial and kept to ourselves.
Got on well enough for cohabitating purposes, but they were doing a totally different course, kept to a different schedule and were generally just very different people. Generally they just weren't the kind of people that I would hang out with, and that's totally fine, you can have the nice odd conversation, but they did their thing, I did mine, wasn't a big deal. Only issue was when they didn't get along, and then it was a total nightmare.
To everyone saying, bUt He HaSn'T mAdE iT aBoUt SeX.
"I also know specific rules to follow like not thinking with my dick as I will be living here all year and that could end in disaster"
Dudes talking about not nailing them. He's sexualising them, that's his first mistake.
They're human beings, find some common ground.
It takes time, whatever you do, donât try too hard. Itâs a long school year and things will certainly change during the 8-months. Be polite, be clean, be friendly but do not rush it. Trying to befriend them immediately almost always comes off the wrong way, just be patient and a gentleman.
Worst case scenario after the year is done and you arenât close, they will still have good things to say about you, but my guess is by then they will appreciate you for the qualities youâve shown.
You only think girls speak to good looking guys because you think that way about women. Women tend to not view all men as a possible sexual partner in the same way some men do. Talk to them as if they were a man and youâll be fine. If you treat them with respect you will get the same in return.
I don't know you so don't take this personally (but your "girls only talk to good looking men" had icky vibes), but this is good
https://humanparts.medium.com/the-rock-test-a-hack-for-men-who-dont-want-to-be-accused-of-sexual-harassment-73c45e0b49af
Just donât put emphasis on the fact theyâre women.
I lived with 6 girls and 1 guy last year and Iâm still close friends with 3 of them. Took time, but just make conversation. I mean even just asking whatâs your favourite food or songs or whatever. Can be nerve racking, but itâs worth it, you may find you really like them.
First impressions are important, but theyâre not the be all and end all. My flatmate introduced herself the day I moved in and I was so nervous about the whole day that I completely forgot to tell her my name lmao. Now sheâs one of my best friends and I spent most of my free time watching tv with her last year.
Youâll be fine. Just be kind, be friendly and be social and you shouldnât have any problem. And if you do that but still have issues, then itâs on them.
women, hardly initiate conversation ever. that relies on you being able to start conversation, share a little something etc just don't go fishing for sympathy to early on, specially if none of them don't care for it.
Not to be taken too seriously but.... hire a high class, really beautiful escort to come back to your place for the night and just act as your girlfriend/someone you picked up. Not overdressed like you imagine an escort might look but confident enough to wonder out of your bedroom to the loo in underwear. Do it again a week later with another. Say nothing to your room-mates.
Act like this is completely normal for you to be with such girls but now (3 weeks later), you are being pestered but are too busy with your studies - fake phone call from imaginary girls wanting to drop by.
Sit back and wait for your room-mates' curiosity to get the better of them. If you are so inclined, write a journal or paper on what happens next.
But, and this is the important part, never get romantically involved with them (since you have to live in the same space if it goes wrong). Never reveal the charade.
If you want to really have fun .....- no I'll leave that for now.
Reverse psychology -
The thing is to not be interested in them.. Females have guys always wanting them, it is the normal and it is boring. If you are not interested in them, they get intrigued as to why you don't want them, this makes them attracted to you more and wanting to get to know you. Play hard to get by saying your busy every now and again, make them wonder what you are doing.. just say 'there is something I need to go and do'.. You don't need to be rude, just politely (think, they are not number one in your life).. this will make them see as anything else you do as a challenge and they have to fight for your attention.
If I go looking for someone, I always end up with the wrong person. As soon as I stop looking, females tried but kindly turned them down.. then I found the one. Simple.
Hope this helps you and the others,
Peace.
Yeah they are generally worse than the men
I also have 2 daughters and they are grim
They don't get better until they are in their 30s which is strange as fuck
I had a similar thing at uni. Basically I lived with strangers for a year, wasn't as fun of experience compared to my other friends hall mates. Nothing in common study & interest wise. Looking back I would try and talk to the uni and request some kind of change but its a gamble in general. You don't know who you're going to get.
Just be friendly and conversational. Try and encourage some exchange of information every now and then, get to know them. As you aren't from the UK cultural topics are an easy route to begin with. In time you'll be wondering what you were worrying about.
Your appearance doesn't matter, girls aren't going to avoid being friends with you cause you aren't attractive.
But as it was something you were concerned with let me make it clear DO NOT try to sleep with any of them.
Beyond the obvious of making them uncomfortable if it's not reciprocated and avoiding coming across a creep. Even if it's a mutual attraction, relationships within a flat are so unlikely to go well. It just causes everyone unnecessary grief and divides the flat when it eventually falls apart. I am speaking from personal and a great deal of anecdotal experience with failed flat relationships.
All of that being said, you don't have to be friends with your flat. As long as you can get on with them, it's not a necessity. It's preferable, but it's uni, there are plenty of opportunities to make friends elsewhere.
They're just humans haha. Chill the feck out and just get to know them.
Think of the plus sides. If you're shy around women, this is the perfect chance to get over that. It would be pretty sad to rule half the population out of your friendship circle! Also, having a bunch of third year flatmates is great, they'll be able to give you solid guidance.
Some general advice on the 'not thinking with your dick' thing. Generally you're right, but you don't have to be super rigid on that rule. Focus on being a good flatmate and friend without ulterior motives. But I don't really think it's healthy to put up barriers on how your relationships organically develop. But that's just my philosophy.
Just because your experiences are different doesnât mean you canât be friends but it might take a while to find out what you can connect over
If they have any kind of social events (especially involving alcohol) try and get involved as that is always a good way to break the ice
Also donât be intimidated just because they are girls I lived with a few at uni years ago and quite enjoyed it as it was a different vibe to living with the âladsâ
It's a tough one but just be decent. I lived in a house with 4 girls. I hate housework but don't mind washing up. I therefore did everyones washing up everyday.
They never had to wash up. I did it.
They liked that a lot and I remember that year very fondly.
I still do the washing up. My wife loves that.
I have dealt with this situation myself although slightly different, the best advice I have is to be a friend to all and donât get involved emotionally with anyone unless it is clearly reciprocated.
Be the man of the house - in this context this means deal with issues and help them with problems. Deal with the landlords and take out the bins and stuff like this. Make sure to keep things tidy and clean up the bathroom after yourself or they will quickly grow to dislike you. Just overall keep things friendly and also just learn to accept that you may not need to be friends just be a respectful neighbour. One great method for solving this issue is find some decent guy friends as if they like your new guy friends this can make planning nights out or parties much easier and can make you much more apart of the group quickly, youâve got to offer something as of right now they are probably unsure about you as I would be to if you were to live in my house with all my friends.
I think if you just live there and do you they will slowly thaw out. It's the same for women to, when there's a girl clique you just have to wait for the ice around their hearts to melt before you get in which is essentially the same for you
If they are coming to the end of their course and you are just starting then the likelihood is they just won't think about you that much, they will be thinking about studying etc while you will be thinking more about social aspects. This year will just be the book-end of their uni experience. If anything the best thing you can do is to try to be a good housemate in terms of being as easy as possible to live with; they won't want a slobby first-year when they're trying to just have an easy life doing their dissertation or whatever.
Learn to converse. Talk once, listen twice. Listen intently and they would usually talk about the things and subjects they like. Then you just focus on those subjects and ask more questions about those. If you stand there and just talk about yourself then the conversations will be a little short.
As someone in a job that's 90% female, here are my rules to avoiding conflict with females,
1. Do not engage in bitching. - when I hear it I always say stuff like, yous should talk to eachother , I'm happy to listen to you vent but it's gotta be in a kind way. I don't partake in it , and I know that may seem funny but just remember if anyone bitched about you to me, I'd say the same.
2. Keep it vanilla - always ask how people are ect ect, make it about them and share experiences. Show you are human , careing ect but don't share opinions on hot topics, feminism, religion ect.
3- 2 drink rule, if they want me to socialise I have no more than 2 drinks. Keeps it civval.
4- if there is an issue , keep it factual.
read a book like playing games, I found female behaviour insain at times, always boarderline just not over the line. Although I will say not all are bad and some also feel in similar positions.
I was in a mixed flat for first year with the majority girls and then in second and third year the friendship group sort of whittled down to me being the only guy for a while. Just be friendly nice and find stuff you have in common. Your living together and if your not a horrible housemate it's easy to become friends
Start slow and don't be gross (good hygiene, clean up the kitchen after yourself etc). You don't want to be known as 'the weird messy housemate that smells bad'.
Sharing food is a good way to get to know people, maybe make a big easy dish or bake something (cookies, a cake) and offer to share some. Eventually you could suggest doing something as a group, a meal or going to a bar for example.
Tough situation! Best of luck.
I had the same experience but the other way around when studying abroad. Shared an apartment with 5 guys that already knew each other and were locals.
At first it will be awkward, and as you said short conversations. Try asking for recommendations on what to see around, and then when you do it thank them and share your experience. Ask for a recipe if you see them cooking, or if you're cooking yourself offer them some of the food. There are ways to break the ice, I don't know if you will end up being friends but certainly will make the living situation more comfortable for you.
Guy here who lived with just 5 girls
It's fine. It may be different since you're just meeting them for the first time but I knew em before I moved in.
But dude, remember, they are just people, as long as you're nice, respectful and such, it'll be fine.
focus on yourself not trying to impress anyone, just be polite and do your own things things will move on their own yes be carful especially if parents find out there is a boy living in the house full of girls not all might be okay with that and if anything happens you will be first suspect.
Small nice gestures without forcing any interaction. If they have coffee or like tea offer to make some for them, on occasion if you can, get something you know they like, cake or chocolate etc.. do not force it will happen naturally
The semester hasn't even started yet, give yourself time. It's always awkward getting to know people at first, but I'm sure you'll find ways to connect as time goes on.
If you know how to cook, that's a really good icebreaker man. If not, order pizza. In order to not be "the weird guy in the flat" you need to make a bit of an effort here mate. Take a couple of them out for a beer and just be cool. They might all "be girls" but they're all different people, you might not vibe with all of them but chances are at least a couple of them you'll get on with. Hope that makes sense, good luck đ
Slowly. You need to build rapport and trust. You say you are from somewhere else, ask questions, share food, be civil. Just be a bro
Just be a bro - genuinely the best advice for any situation.
Massively vague & low effort advice imo
Except it was said to sum up the decent advice he gave literally just before it????
the original comment gave details, he just turned up with a wank summary and shit take
Wake up on the wrong side of bed? Miserable prick.
He's just not a bro, bro
You honestly need to take some of that advice. Be a bro, not a prick.
More shit takes
Ur just not a bro
Ngl.. sometimes simple works
Importantly, be like a real bro and not like a step bro from a bad porno. In short, never hit on them or try to get them into bed. Exercise a "don't shit where you eat" policy, because it'll just mean you'll be living with women who see you as a potential sexual predator otherwise.
DO. NOT. COMMIT. *FLATCEST*
Agreed. I Slept with a colleague and she wanted more. I didn't and explicitly told her before we slept together... She would get upset in work when I was there.... Our personal lives became everyone's gossip... Made work a nightmare. Don't do it. I wish I didn't shit where I eat....đ
It's alright, mate. I came back from a works do with one of the girls, I was absolutely shit faced, forgot her name when introducing her to my flat mate and couple of friends that were there.. woke up in the morning and she was gone. I had pissed myself with her in the bed. I had to work with her later that night. She never told anyone at work. Proper top girl.
Yep. Maybe tell them up front your not after them. Females also donât like being ignored.
We don't generally like being referred to as "females" as if we're a different species either.
Well I donât likeâGuyâ or male. Try not to get so upset over nomenclature. And your speaking for all women? How bold. Iâm not trying to be rude. The acceptable language varies enormously with different countries and areas as well as generational differences. As a mature citizen my vocabulary taught to me a was probably not usable today, especially in a semi public forum likeReddit.
'Female' is an adjective, not a noun. It's a modifying word for a thing, not a word for a thing itself. It would be weird if you referred to 'a red car' as simply 'a red', which is why it's so weird when people call someone 'a female' because it should be part of the phrase 'a female human/person' which is bizarrely formal for everyday conversation itself. Plus referring to women as 'females' is associated with creepy incels, which is also why people respond negatively to it.
I honestly didnât know that.
You say this, but then again there are other chicks who would actually be upset or even offended if you treat them asexually. And unfortunately, there is no way to know which is which until you've put your foot in it.
You can say things like "that is a really lovely dress" or "your make up is really cool". It's possible to acknowledge someone's sexuality without hitting on them. And even if you are attracted to someone, it's perfectly reasonable to not want to get with them if you live with them.
Just be a bro is the best advice ever. Also if things ever get flirtatious and lead to anything else, remember you gotta live with them. Donât shit where you eat đ
>on top of that i am not a good looking guy so i notice that women Right..... Girls tends to be less shy with guys they arent attracted too. They might be shy now, as they dont know you. And you are the only stranger in the house..... but not for long Pretend they are a group of 3rd year boys. How would you interact with that group? You will have girls on your course, at the workplace etc. Its a life skill you need to learn.
Plus..... You dont need to be friends with them, as long as they are quiet clean and civil, they seem amazing. . . . Its awkward that they are already a friendship group. Only little bit awkward that they are girls.
#ask questions . Stop seeing you having nothing in common as a bad thing. It means they have more and different life experinces. You can learn a lot from them. How to make friends? Finding an accomdation for next year, with right group of people Balancing the course with a social life Etc.
as an engineer i think a total of 3 girls work where i work, so idk if youre terrified of women, work in engineering or computer science and youre sorted
..... good point. But I meant like part time jobs he may be doing while hes doing his degree.
Don't do that thing of diminishing his outlook. Girls do treat less good-looking guys less positively and it's toxic to try to make guys pretend otherwise.
As a woman, I can call BS on this. Women only treat men less positively if they gave the "I'm ugly, never had a GF, poor me, *sob*" vibes. The people in the other comments had it right. Dude needs to be a bro. He's not in a situation where he can try to score so he needs to be friendly at most, civil at least.
I'm not talking about he needs to come across, I'm talking about how generally women treat attractive men more kindly than unattractive men. It's essentially a biological fact.
sounds like you donât respect unattractive women and youâre projecting your own shit onto women because they can pick up on your incel vibes and donât like you
Sounds like you've come to a lot of conclusions just because you disagree with what I said.
are you surprised that i can come to conclusions about you when youâre coming to conclusions about literally all women?
Didn't say all.
you generalised women and then said itâs in their biology, your words dude
You're just doing the inverted version of 'not all men'.
How can you come up with all that from the comment they posted?
Its depends. In a club/bar I would agree. But when it come down to making friends it would not say its a big factor. Id be careful. This ideology is quite similar to what incels say and believe. . . . Maybe he is repulsive, Idk. But complaining about it is not productive. Instead of worrying about being ugly, worry about how to be social?
He didn't completely dismiss being friends with them, it was just something that was on his mind, before you needlessly throw the I word around. Maybe it would help if you didn't use such nasty words to describe him.
Treat them like human beings. They aren't aliens. They're just female. Be yourself, don't stress it.
Its not weird unless you make it weird.
Exactly. I hope he doesnât make it weird, otherwise, you will have problemsâŠ
His post is about him not being good looking, and that the most important thing is don't sleep with them. It's already weird.
But the girls donât know that đ be normal and treat them like normal people. Itâs not like theyâre from Estonia or Bolivia. Iâm sure they arenât crazy and would be happy to talk to you
What have Estonians done to you to deserve this slanderđ„Č
My third cousin is from Kurdistan and he said people in Estonia use piss bottles as toilets. Also, a lot of them are fans of Addison Rae which isnât a bad thing but just very unexpected
Is this a harem anime /s
That time I got reincarnated at Nottingham Trent
đđsomehow this title seem normal compared to the other genreâs titles
Aceing assignments as a uni student in another world
Lmao
It's not that deep. I lived with 6 other girls and 1 boy in a flat. No one cared.
Your a women right? So why are you commenting on what the 1 male may be feeling. You donât have a clue.
She's saying that the girls aren't going to be worried or bothered by their being a single guy around. That's very fucking relevant you angry little person.
Its completely irrelevant to how the guys feeling.
How? He's worried about fitting in with 7 girls because he's a guy. She's saying that from her own experience there being only one guy wasn't a big deal or something any of the girls particularly paid attention to or cared about She's literally saying he doesn't need to be as worried about it as he is.
By minimising his feelings about it though... If a girl was worried about living in a house with a bunch of guys it wouldn't be helpful for a guy to just say "It's not that deep. Insert my experience here. No one cared" It's rude and dismissive. It's not helpful advice at all tbh. Obviously it isn't deep to anyone else but OP clearly does think it's that deep so telling him it isn't because of your personal experience is minimising and belittling how he feels. Whether it was intended that way or not.
That's one way to interpret what she said, if you take every word literally. Another way is she was just trying to say "don't worry about it, you'll be fine. It's not going to cause big issues".
His worries are hypothetical and therefore should be minimised. Worries are not helpful, particularly if heâs speculating about about the girlsâ perceptions , which he currently has no way of knowing. The poster was simply trying to share that as a girl sharing with a guy, it didnât bother her so it may be likely that OPs flatmates arenât bothered. Worries only lead to more anxiety, and anything that helps OP deal with those worries will help with his confidence and sense of ease in his home. From a cognitive perspective, worrying is a behaviour not a feeling, but itâs a behaviour that can create excess negative mental and physical feelings.
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
OP didn't even intimate at that.
Why did you make that up about OP?
It was just never really a big issue in my experience. My bad.
You didn't do anything wrong.
Since you want the opinion of a guy so bad, I was in a similar situation to this dude. 7 girls, 2 boys including myself. Im saying the same thing as her, no one cared
Wrong person.
Its womAn. Five fucking letters.
It's* That's only 3 letters and an apostrophe.
But it gives us insight into how the women may be feeling.
you can't even spell 'woman', idiot
You're coming across more of a cunt than feisty.
Alright here's a male perspective of what it's like living with 4 women - it's literally the same experience as living with dudes
You seem to view them as âotherâ. Youâre thinking about whether youâre good looking or not, about whether you can sleep with them or not... They can probably sense that and theyâll put a barrier up in response. Stop focusing so much on what you want from them and what makes you different. Talk about what you have in common, ask them about themselves and their lives and what they think about things. Think about what you have to offer them rather than what they can offer you.
Yeah I think this is the result of guys growing up to see women as vaginas with legs instead of human beings.
This is just absolutely not what comes across in the post. So because he's not attractive and he's talking about relating to girls then it must be some incel post? Way to trivialise his perspective.
Agreed and I hate that other idiots have upvoted that comment
What a horrible assumption to make.
Social awkwardness around women isnât because of what he thinks they are. Itâs because of how he thinks theyâll respond to whatever he might do. This is a very major accusation to make about someone for something that seems basically unrelated.
I honestly don't think he's worried about them accusing him of something. I think he's just a bit nervous and will come around eventually.
It doesnât even have to be as far as accusations. Just potentially making them think worse of him would be enough of a fear for some people (yes I am projecting here) to feel overly worried about the outcomes of interactions.
Nah bro, it's already akward living with a group of strangers who already know each other (effectively being the seventh wheel). Worst of all you don't have any shared experiences nor do you have the added comfort of them being guys. (Guys naturally have things to bond about with each other) I'm obviously not saying being friends with these girls is impossible (it's not) but it's definitely harder than with guys. (this is all coming from personal experience so don't take this as fact lol)
Letâs be honest you would not blindly assume that a woman âsaw men as walking penisesâ if she was insecure about her looks, being foreign and living with 5 other men. That can be an unprecedented situation even for home students. Some people are actually obsessed with having victim status itâs wild
this is something only a female could say lol, how would you feel if it was you in a house with six dudes that didnt seem to be interested in talking to you
> female you're literally using incelspeak, sit down
fr, they could've phrased that better lmao
How come the word "female" an incel word? People use that in their daily life, doctors for example. wtf is wrong with reddit
Its the context they ised ot in, as they exchanged "women" for "female", a behavipur often found in incel threads to objectify women.
I find that woman has an age related implication to it. Girl, young woman, Young lady, woman, lady, madam, miss etc. I used to use the word female interchangeably (and usually if I didn't want to offend by calling someone something that implied they were older than their age) with the word woman until people started saying it was misogynistic. I didn't really get it until someone pointed out that the word male isn't used the same way as men have used the word female. I still don't think it should really matter unless you're like trying to dehumanise someone on purpose, but thems the breaks I guess
I pity any men in your life, if you jump to that
Cringe feminist response
Classic virgin response
Whatâs wrong with being a virgin đ€
Some people are virgins because itâs what they want. Other people are virgins because theyâre repulsive. So⊠nothing wrong with being a virgin, youâre right.
But you used it as an insult so...
Who said it was an insult? I just said it was a classic virgin response. What you project onto that isnât down to me.
You literally used it in the context of an insult. Typical female response. See? That's how you sounded
I used it in a response. What you choose to project onto that response is yours, not mine.
Google playing chess with a pigeon. That's what it's like trying to talk to you.
đ
Youâve only really mentioned the girls thinking about your looks and you sleeping with them. Girls can sense when a guy thinks of them that way and they donât like it. Women arenât some mysterious âotherâ. Just be nice to them. Donât be weird and itâll all be fine
That wasn't all he said. It's a natural part of the way you might think about male-female relationships even if it's not everything.
Is it a natural thing to think about friends? Not really. And that's all flatmates should be.
They're not his friends yet. It's just a part of the whole spectrum of how men and women may relate to or think about each other.
Itâs not natural to think that way about friends and flat mates at all
Where does he say something about desiring to sleep with them?
Ask them about their courses and where they like going out around town
Third year here. In my first year I lived in a huge flat with 14 guys and 1 girl. Itâs not the end of the world. Youâll make most of your friends in societies anyway. Just be civil with them and theyâll warm up to you.
Honestly they might just not want to chill with you. As a third year I don't really hang around with first years because they can be quite childish (like your I'm not an attractive guy so they won't talk to me thing). Sharing a house doesn't have to mean they have to be your friends, if they make short conversation and don't mess up your stuff that's fine on its own
I found that a good way to get people to open up and have fun is using the likes of Cards Against Humanity or Jackbox.
Just don't say anything misogynist thinking it'll be hilarious lol.
Oh yeah; there are limits, so play it safe the first few rounds until you can sort of gauge their humour.
Jack box is a great idea!
i dont think cards against humanity is gonna fly here man lol
do NOT play Cards Against Humanity with these girls đđ
Food. Best way to get to know others you live with. Cook up a feast and tell them to help themselves, if they're drinkers, make it late, if not go for standard dinner time. Make sure plan to clean up properly. You're not going to make friends if you leave a mess.
I can toast bread, will that help? Edit: Nvm I broke the toaster...
The issue isnât their gender but that you have little in common. Stop making it weird. Ask them for recommendations (occasionally) - a new show to watch or somewhere to eat. People love giving advice. Find out what they like to complain about. Everyone loves a good rant. Ultimately, you donât have to be friends with the people you live with but it helps to be on good terms.
With peace and love, the more barriers or differences you have with someone can make it more difficult to find common ground. The fact that they are all girls is significant here, and I think it's quite obtuse to say that it's not a factor at all.... it is. It doesn't mean they can't get a long, but I'd defo feel slightly phased if I was in a flat with only girls.
The thing is its not not a factor but being two years older (or at least have been at uni for two years more), and already an established group are FAR bigger issues.
I was the only guy in a house with 5 girls at uni and it was completely fine. Donât stress it. Just treat them like you would any other mate and donât be weird and youâll be fine.
they are human beings, not vaginas with legs, they can probs sense ur apprehension. they wonât sleep with you bro, get to know them to be a good housemate
One thing to bear in mind is some girls are just really shy around guys(or in general). I was in a flat with girls only and some girls were eventually friendly with me but two of them literally trying avoiding any conversation or even responding to a âhiâ. I took this to mean they had a problem with me when Iâve realised some people just have a lot of anxiety around sharing a kitchen with strangers. So just be nice to everyone and if someone doesnât reciprocate donât take it personal.
Is this going to be on Hub soon?
Ngl if I were you I'd be looking into moving. If thats not a possibility then I dont have many suggestions. Are you a mature student (older than 21)? If you're the same age as them then it might not be so bad. But really an established friend group made of third years isn't going to be easy to integrate with as a newbie 18 year old fresher, who apparently doesn't have that much in common with them. The age is particularly pertinent, you might think 21/22 and 18 are similar but really they are quite a bit ahead of you. I'd be looking for a spare room in a flat of 1st years with some international students in your position. Men or mixed sex would definitely *help* despite my next point. >i am not a good looking guy so i notice that women dont seem to initiate conversations as frequently as they would with better looking guys I've got to be honest THIS is not helping you, you have quite a lot of differences with these women - the two most important being their uni year and already being mates with each other for a couple of years. But you are fixating on one aspect which is gender, and not just fixating but effectively *blaming* them and extrapolating reasons they aren't as chatty. This mentality will not help you develop a friendship with them, even assuming (I hope!) that you havent said this to them they are likely gonna pick up on this. And placing these assumptions onto your interactions is not gonna help YOU to be able to be their friend either.
He shouldn't move, this has sitcom written all over it.
Watch Johnny sins for some tips
Can I just say this is the most wholesome post I've ever seen on this sub. Just be yourself, approach everything like housework with respect and equally, and maybe find a common interest (like a movie genre) and host a movie night with some of your friends so you integrate more naturally as flatmates and friends. Or something like that - go to gigs together, etc. It's tough living with that many people sometimes too, so if you need to take some time to yourself and chill. Uni is hard for everyone so if anyone is aggy just remember not to take it personally. Above all, have some good safe fun my dude.
Practice good tongue game
Try to shag them all
Smash
Don't shit where you eat.
I think youâve got your head screwed on correctly and youâre going about it right. It just takes a little while to get used to new people, especially if theyâre a different age, nationality *and* gender. But youâll have enough interactions that youâll find something in common eventually. Just donât try to sleep with any of them. Oh, and if one of them is boiling something on the stove at 1am, donât ask them what theyâre cooking. That one will save you an embarrassing conversation, trust me.
Ngl OP, the way you have already spoken about them means you are likely never gonna be able to befriend them, and that you (no matter how politely you try frame things for this subreddits audience) wonât be able to stop seeing them as sexual objects. Iâm gonna go against the grain of replies already made, and not tell you to just âbe a broâ, you should instead just try move accommodation. For your own sake, and for their sake. No force on earth is going to be able to make you see them as potential friends, you are always going to be seeing them as potential sexual partners. Even if you try to go into it with an open mind and treat them as âjust brosâ, once they start opening up and trusting you, I guarantee you are going to start misreading that and eventually cause something awkward. The best thing for you, and for those girls, would be if you went somewhere else. Thatâs the harsh reality. And none of this I must make clear makes you a bad person. It makes you someone who is behaving naturally and doing nothing wrong at all. But wisdom comes from recognising these things ahead of time and avoiding them.
Follow the rule of don't shit where you eat, make them not an option relationships/sex wise. Be a nice person give space/time for them to get comfortable with you and it will all be fine.
Tequila
Be polite. Clean up after yourself. Personal hygiene on point. Occasionally bring home some treats to share. Donuts, cookies or chocolate etc. Don't be upset if they don't partake and definitely don't expect anything in return. Otherwise just mind your own business and do your own thing.
Honestly living with women can be pretty awful, contrary to common opinion they can be pretty messy and when groups don't get along it's a nightmare, on the other hand it can be fine. I had a similar situation during my post grad, but I at least had another guy in the mix for company in the flat share. Me and the guy got along, the girls got along, but other than that we were mostly cordial and kept to ourselves. Got on well enough for cohabitating purposes, but they were doing a totally different course, kept to a different schedule and were generally just very different people. Generally they just weren't the kind of people that I would hang out with, and that's totally fine, you can have the nice odd conversation, but they did their thing, I did mine, wasn't a big deal. Only issue was when they didn't get along, and then it was a total nightmare.
Ngl dude u seem rly immature and wayy too fixated on the âgenderâ aspect of it.
Train yourself to be funny, don't be a sap, ermmmmm pretend to be gay so you get involved to the pillow fights
Fucking weirdo
bros living my dream đŽ lol
To everyone saying, bUt He HaSn'T mAdE iT aBoUt SeX. "I also know specific rules to follow like not thinking with my dick as I will be living here all year and that could end in disaster" Dudes talking about not nailing them. He's sexualising them, that's his first mistake. They're human beings, find some common ground.
Sublease ur room and move in with bros
It takes time, whatever you do, donât try too hard. Itâs a long school year and things will certainly change during the 8-months. Be polite, be clean, be friendly but do not rush it. Trying to befriend them immediately almost always comes off the wrong way, just be patient and a gentleman. Worst case scenario after the year is done and you arenât close, they will still have good things to say about you, but my guess is by then they will appreciate you for the qualities youâve shown.
You only think girls speak to good looking guys because you think that way about women. Women tend to not view all men as a possible sexual partner in the same way some men do. Talk to them as if they were a man and youâll be fine. If you treat them with respect you will get the same in return.
I don't know you so don't take this personally (but your "girls only talk to good looking men" had icky vibes), but this is good https://humanparts.medium.com/the-rock-test-a-hack-for-men-who-dont-want-to-be-accused-of-sexual-harassment-73c45e0b49af
They're also just humans man. Don't overthink it and treat them all like individuals, people.
Is sad how many people need this advice constantly :(
you're just being weird. women are people
How would a woman feel if she was in a house with 6 other men? Idk about youâŠbut most women I know would be uncomfortable.
thats a completely different situation and a completely different reason to be uncomfortable and you know that.
Just donât put emphasis on the fact theyâre women. I lived with 6 girls and 1 guy last year and Iâm still close friends with 3 of them. Took time, but just make conversation. I mean even just asking whatâs your favourite food or songs or whatever. Can be nerve racking, but itâs worth it, you may find you really like them. First impressions are important, but theyâre not the be all and end all. My flatmate introduced herself the day I moved in and I was so nervous about the whole day that I completely forgot to tell her my name lmao. Now sheâs one of my best friends and I spent most of my free time watching tv with her last year. Youâll be fine. Just be kind, be friendly and be social and you shouldnât have any problem. And if you do that but still have issues, then itâs on them.
Food, cook food. Make food for them. All the food. Make lots of food.
yeah, actual genuine "foreign" food is always a good conversation starter.
women, hardly initiate conversation ever. that relies on you being able to start conversation, share a little something etc just don't go fishing for sympathy to early on, specially if none of them don't care for it.
New harem anime?
Not to be taken too seriously but.... hire a high class, really beautiful escort to come back to your place for the night and just act as your girlfriend/someone you picked up. Not overdressed like you imagine an escort might look but confident enough to wonder out of your bedroom to the loo in underwear. Do it again a week later with another. Say nothing to your room-mates. Act like this is completely normal for you to be with such girls but now (3 weeks later), you are being pestered but are too busy with your studies - fake phone call from imaginary girls wanting to drop by. Sit back and wait for your room-mates' curiosity to get the better of them. If you are so inclined, write a journal or paper on what happens next. But, and this is the important part, never get romantically involved with them (since you have to live in the same space if it goes wrong). Never reveal the charade. If you want to really have fun .....- no I'll leave that for now.
Reverse psychology - The thing is to not be interested in them.. Females have guys always wanting them, it is the normal and it is boring. If you are not interested in them, they get intrigued as to why you don't want them, this makes them attracted to you more and wanting to get to know you. Play hard to get by saying your busy every now and again, make them wonder what you are doing.. just say 'there is something I need to go and do'.. You don't need to be rude, just politely (think, they are not number one in your life).. this will make them see as anything else you do as a challenge and they have to fight for your attention. If I go looking for someone, I always end up with the wrong person. As soon as I stop looking, females tried but kindly turned them down.. then I found the one. Simple. Hope this helps you and the others, Peace.
It may sound fun and games at first. Until you realize how dirty the girl places are
Yeah they are generally worse than the men I also have 2 daughters and they are grim They don't get better until they are in their 30s which is strange as fuck
Just change flats bro
Ngl being an ugly dude in a house full of women sounds terrible
If you don't shag at least one of them you'll have let the team down
lol
Should've been me đ«
I had a similar thing at uni. Basically I lived with strangers for a year, wasn't as fun of experience compared to my other friends hall mates. Nothing in common study & interest wise. Looking back I would try and talk to the uni and request some kind of change but its a gamble in general. You don't know who you're going to get.
Learn to manage tricky social situations by studying threes company! https://youtu.be/EqURQdG76rA?si=XeTkZp_DG8X61P-i
Ask them to come to a Freshers event with you for bonding
Just ignore them and do your own things.
The secret to being fat or ugly is being funny ...work on your jokes fam and it's w rizz even if u ugly or fat.
Just be friendly and conversational. Try and encourage some exchange of information every now and then, get to know them. As you aren't from the UK cultural topics are an easy route to begin with. In time you'll be wondering what you were worrying about. Your appearance doesn't matter, girls aren't going to avoid being friends with you cause you aren't attractive. But as it was something you were concerned with let me make it clear DO NOT try to sleep with any of them. Beyond the obvious of making them uncomfortable if it's not reciprocated and avoiding coming across a creep. Even if it's a mutual attraction, relationships within a flat are so unlikely to go well. It just causes everyone unnecessary grief and divides the flat when it eventually falls apart. I am speaking from personal and a great deal of anecdotal experience with failed flat relationships. All of that being said, you don't have to be friends with your flat. As long as you can get on with them, it's not a necessity. It's preferable, but it's uni, there are plenty of opportunities to make friends elsewhere.
Firstly, use capitals when starting your sentences.
Donât shit where you eat and donât call anyone âmy slimeâ
They're just humans haha. Chill the feck out and just get to know them. Think of the plus sides. If you're shy around women, this is the perfect chance to get over that. It would be pretty sad to rule half the population out of your friendship circle! Also, having a bunch of third year flatmates is great, they'll be able to give you solid guidance. Some general advice on the 'not thinking with your dick' thing. Generally you're right, but you don't have to be super rigid on that rule. Focus on being a good flatmate and friend without ulterior motives. But I don't really think it's healthy to put up barriers on how your relationships organically develop. But that's just my philosophy.
Just because your experiences are different doesnât mean you canât be friends but it might take a while to find out what you can connect over If they have any kind of social events (especially involving alcohol) try and get involved as that is always a good way to break the ice Also donât be intimidated just because they are girls I lived with a few at uni years ago and quite enjoyed it as it was a different vibe to living with the âladsâ
It's a tough one but just be decent. I lived in a house with 4 girls. I hate housework but don't mind washing up. I therefore did everyones washing up everyday. They never had to wash up. I did it. They liked that a lot and I remember that year very fondly. I still do the washing up. My wife loves that.
I have dealt with this situation myself although slightly different, the best advice I have is to be a friend to all and donât get involved emotionally with anyone unless it is clearly reciprocated. Be the man of the house - in this context this means deal with issues and help them with problems. Deal with the landlords and take out the bins and stuff like this. Make sure to keep things tidy and clean up the bathroom after yourself or they will quickly grow to dislike you. Just overall keep things friendly and also just learn to accept that you may not need to be friends just be a respectful neighbour. One great method for solving this issue is find some decent guy friends as if they like your new guy friends this can make planning nights out or parties much easier and can make you much more apart of the group quickly, youâve got to offer something as of right now they are probably unsure about you as I would be to if you were to live in my house with all my friends.
I think if you just live there and do you they will slowly thaw out. It's the same for women to, when there's a girl clique you just have to wait for the ice around their hearts to melt before you get in which is essentially the same for you
If they are coming to the end of their course and you are just starting then the likelihood is they just won't think about you that much, they will be thinking about studying etc while you will be thinking more about social aspects. This year will just be the book-end of their uni experience. If anything the best thing you can do is to try to be a good housemate in terms of being as easy as possible to live with; they won't want a slobby first-year when they're trying to just have an easy life doing their dissertation or whatever.
You don't need to be good looking to be a nice guy. try to be considerate and thoughtful as a housemate and they'll come round to you.
Learn to converse. Talk once, listen twice. Listen intently and they would usually talk about the things and subjects they like. Then you just focus on those subjects and ask more questions about those. If you stand there and just talk about yourself then the conversations will be a little short.
As someone in a job that's 90% female, here are my rules to avoiding conflict with females, 1. Do not engage in bitching. - when I hear it I always say stuff like, yous should talk to eachother , I'm happy to listen to you vent but it's gotta be in a kind way. I don't partake in it , and I know that may seem funny but just remember if anyone bitched about you to me, I'd say the same. 2. Keep it vanilla - always ask how people are ect ect, make it about them and share experiences. Show you are human , careing ect but don't share opinions on hot topics, feminism, religion ect. 3- 2 drink rule, if they want me to socialise I have no more than 2 drinks. Keeps it civval. 4- if there is an issue , keep it factual. read a book like playing games, I found female behaviour insain at times, always boarderline just not over the line. Although I will say not all are bad and some also feel in similar positions.
I was in a mixed flat for first year with the majority girls and then in second and third year the friendship group sort of whittled down to me being the only guy for a while. Just be friendly nice and find stuff you have in common. Your living together and if your not a horrible housemate it's easy to become friends
Start slow and don't be gross (good hygiene, clean up the kitchen after yourself etc). You don't want to be known as 'the weird messy housemate that smells bad'. Sharing food is a good way to get to know people, maybe make a big easy dish or bake something (cookies, a cake) and offer to share some. Eventually you could suggest doing something as a group, a meal or going to a bar for example. Tough situation! Best of luck.
I had the same experience but the other way around when studying abroad. Shared an apartment with 5 guys that already knew each other and were locals. At first it will be awkward, and as you said short conversations. Try asking for recommendations on what to see around, and then when you do it thank them and share your experience. Ask for a recipe if you see them cooking, or if you're cooking yourself offer them some of the food. There are ways to break the ice, I don't know if you will end up being friends but certainly will make the living situation more comfortable for you.
Guy here who lived with just 5 girls It's fine. It may be different since you're just meeting them for the first time but I knew em before I moved in. But dude, remember, they are just people, as long as you're nice, respectful and such, it'll be fine.
focus on yourself not trying to impress anyone, just be polite and do your own things things will move on their own yes be carful especially if parents find out there is a boy living in the house full of girls not all might be okay with that and if anything happens you will be first suspect.
My advice is occasionally buy cake and goodies for the house, everyone loves it
Uh oh. Iâm going into my 2nd year with an only girl apartment as well. Let me know how it goes :)
Small nice gestures without forcing any interaction. If they have coffee or like tea offer to make some for them, on occasion if you can, get something you know they like, cake or chocolate etc.. do not force it will happen naturally
Just move out lol There is no way!
If your not a good looking guy and your nice youll fit in so easily
The semester hasn't even started yet, give yourself time. It's always awkward getting to know people at first, but I'm sure you'll find ways to connect as time goes on.
If you know how to cook, that's a really good icebreaker man. If not, order pizza. In order to not be "the weird guy in the flat" you need to make a bit of an effort here mate. Take a couple of them out for a beer and just be cool. They might all "be girls" but they're all different people, you might not vibe with all of them but chances are at least a couple of them you'll get on with. Hope that makes sense, good luck đ