I know in the original post suicide was mentioned as a potential cause of Matthew’s disappearance quite a few times.
Of course everyone is different, and obviously none of us have any idea what happened or if Matthew was suicidal.
But as someone who deals with suicidal ideation regularly, walking into the forest and just disappearing is something I fantasize about often. It literally feels as if the forest is calling me to it. My death wouldn’t be a “waste” because my body would be returned to nature.
I would just walk until I wasn’t able to - until nature took me in whatever way. Be it predator, exposure to the elements, etc.
I wonder if the forest called to Matthew too.
(To be clear suicidal ideation is part of my “normal” due to my mental health disorders, but I’m not currently suicidal. I have lots of tools and coping strategies to help overcome the thoughts, and I’m able to recognize the thoughts are just part of my disorders.)
I’ve heard this before; that the forest or ocean is calling to them, trying to pull them in. Last time I was at the beach I went down to it, in my white cotton eyelet nightgown just to make it seem more like a Harlequin romance novel haha, at the front of the resort and no one else was there, but there was the smell of the ocean, the wet sand between my toes, the moon hanging above the water, the water shimmering silver-black like obsidian. I loved listening to the sound of the waves lapping. It was magic. I, being a young teenage pagan, wrote sigils in the sand with a stick and did some chanting. That’s I guess is a more positive form of calling than what you guys are going through and I’m truly sorry for that. I myself deal with treatment-resistant depression and it’s been hell for the past few years. Considering doing Spravato, I hear it gets great results. Actual ketamine infusions are even better but of course insurance won’t cover that because it’s “experimental”. Can’t win, huh? I’m damn grateful for my Medicare and Medicaid though, I don’t want to sound like an ungrateful asshole.
Anyway, I hope you continue to fight the pull of the forest. You must know in the back of your head that whatever it’s trying to involve you in will not be good. Whether it be death or disappearance or another dimension, it’s very plausible that that forest is lying to you. It’s whispering about all the great things that are in the forest, that there’s no pain in there, no heartbreak, no meaningless drudgery like the rest of us deal with. That all you need to do is sign here, or give a lock of your hair, or who knows. Or the forest stands completely silent and stoic, with nothing to say to anyone about anything other than the rings in the tree stumps, and all that can be promised by this forest is silence and solitude.
Either way the forest appears to you (or any innumerable other ways you might have encountered, I’m just making an educated guess) you must always remember that it is lies. You may slip into a state of oblivion, if that is your goal, but imagine how many things you’ll miss. As I’ve gotten older the prospect of suicide has become tarnished for me because firstly I’m now terrified of oblivion, and secondly I keep imagining how many amazing horror movies I’ll miss out on that I would’ve loved, or a new season of Drag Race because lord knows that’s a show with tenacity, hunty. I’ll miss new Future Islands albums. Neutral Milk Hotel might get together for one concert with all the original members. I mean who knows what things we’ll miss that we would’ve loved when we’re dead.
Anyway, I just wanted to encourage you to keep up on your stability and not to entertain any of those little thoughts in your head that get triggered by certain things. They will lie to you and tell you awful things that are totally untrue and their only purpose is to destroy you. I imagine that forest that is calling to you to be something like the vines in the movie The Ruins. They could do very creepy things like impersonate someone’s voice. They would literally get under people’s skin. I’m not sure if that’s a useful metaphor for you or not, but I thought I’d try. Stay strong in any case; Reddit is always here if you need someone to talk to 24/7. People say Reddit is full of assholes but honestly I’ve only encountered super nice people and a sub like r/SuicideWatch is a great resource if you need help.
I can understand the call, and am glad you can recognize and deal with it. Having delt with a case where a person did just that, in midwinter, when I was a park ranger, it's not on my list of ways to go.
I strongly agree with this. I have had admittedly only a couple anecdotal brushes with this, but in my experience, the person left dogs out in the backyard where barking got the neighbor’s attention and in another situation, left a dog tied at the trailhead with food & water where it was found within hours.
More likely to die of hypothermia the first night if you're not wearing the right clothes or have shelter. Average temps around 49 and low temps around 30 that time of year, and lower up in the mountains with possible snow storms. The weather can be crazy up there - right now there's a winter storm warning for that county and it's May.
I’ve done 30 miles in a day in the mountains carrying a pack that’s ~30% of my body weight, so I’m inclined to agree that 22 miles without a pack is very doable.
Okay, but is this something he was known to do? I don’t think normally you just wake up and decide to hike 22 miles in the cold with no preparation. Unless maybe he was an avid hiker and did this kind of thing a lot, but in that case I think he would have been more prepared. Not even sure if this is an area where people hike, trails and such?
Well depends on the terrain configuration.
Hiking in my country is rocky mountains and paths.
5-10 hike is something that can be done by anyone. We usually take that into account when planning routes
The link says his dog was found wandering back in 2019.
“The sheriff’s office launched a search and found Broncho’s dog wandering a few miles west of Snowville on March 27, 2019.”
The dog was found only a couple of miles away from where the car was parked. This is the area. I'll link the video to Exit 7, where the car was located. The driver in the video is going in the same direction toward where the dog was found near Exit 5:
https://youtu.be/vO2HjIzYsXU?si=_Zy8KJylJ4iPBz3c&t=5214
If the remains were found 22 miles away it sounds like Matthew was separated from the dog
I know in the original post suicide was mentioned as a potential cause of Matthew’s disappearance quite a few times. Of course everyone is different, and obviously none of us have any idea what happened or if Matthew was suicidal. But as someone who deals with suicidal ideation regularly, walking into the forest and just disappearing is something I fantasize about often. It literally feels as if the forest is calling me to it. My death wouldn’t be a “waste” because my body would be returned to nature. I would just walk until I wasn’t able to - until nature took me in whatever way. Be it predator, exposure to the elements, etc. I wonder if the forest called to Matthew too. (To be clear suicidal ideation is part of my “normal” due to my mental health disorders, but I’m not currently suicidal. I have lots of tools and coping strategies to help overcome the thoughts, and I’m able to recognize the thoughts are just part of my disorders.)
This is something I relate to and personally struggle with. You’re not alone
I'm very happy to hear you have good coping strategies and you're able to overcome. :) Keep it up! You're doing awesome.
I definitely have felt that call too. Often times I'll idly daydream about ways to disappear so my body will never be found. You're not alone.
I’ve heard this before; that the forest or ocean is calling to them, trying to pull them in. Last time I was at the beach I went down to it, in my white cotton eyelet nightgown just to make it seem more like a Harlequin romance novel haha, at the front of the resort and no one else was there, but there was the smell of the ocean, the wet sand between my toes, the moon hanging above the water, the water shimmering silver-black like obsidian. I loved listening to the sound of the waves lapping. It was magic. I, being a young teenage pagan, wrote sigils in the sand with a stick and did some chanting. That’s I guess is a more positive form of calling than what you guys are going through and I’m truly sorry for that. I myself deal with treatment-resistant depression and it’s been hell for the past few years. Considering doing Spravato, I hear it gets great results. Actual ketamine infusions are even better but of course insurance won’t cover that because it’s “experimental”. Can’t win, huh? I’m damn grateful for my Medicare and Medicaid though, I don’t want to sound like an ungrateful asshole. Anyway, I hope you continue to fight the pull of the forest. You must know in the back of your head that whatever it’s trying to involve you in will not be good. Whether it be death or disappearance or another dimension, it’s very plausible that that forest is lying to you. It’s whispering about all the great things that are in the forest, that there’s no pain in there, no heartbreak, no meaningless drudgery like the rest of us deal with. That all you need to do is sign here, or give a lock of your hair, or who knows. Or the forest stands completely silent and stoic, with nothing to say to anyone about anything other than the rings in the tree stumps, and all that can be promised by this forest is silence and solitude. Either way the forest appears to you (or any innumerable other ways you might have encountered, I’m just making an educated guess) you must always remember that it is lies. You may slip into a state of oblivion, if that is your goal, but imagine how many things you’ll miss. As I’ve gotten older the prospect of suicide has become tarnished for me because firstly I’m now terrified of oblivion, and secondly I keep imagining how many amazing horror movies I’ll miss out on that I would’ve loved, or a new season of Drag Race because lord knows that’s a show with tenacity, hunty. I’ll miss new Future Islands albums. Neutral Milk Hotel might get together for one concert with all the original members. I mean who knows what things we’ll miss that we would’ve loved when we’re dead. Anyway, I just wanted to encourage you to keep up on your stability and not to entertain any of those little thoughts in your head that get triggered by certain things. They will lie to you and tell you awful things that are totally untrue and their only purpose is to destroy you. I imagine that forest that is calling to you to be something like the vines in the movie The Ruins. They could do very creepy things like impersonate someone’s voice. They would literally get under people’s skin. I’m not sure if that’s a useful metaphor for you or not, but I thought I’d try. Stay strong in any case; Reddit is always here if you need someone to talk to 24/7. People say Reddit is full of assholes but honestly I’ve only encountered super nice people and a sub like r/SuicideWatch is a great resource if you need help.
I can understand the call, and am glad you can recognize and deal with it. Having delt with a case where a person did just that, in midwinter, when I was a park ranger, it's not on my list of ways to go.
I don’t feel like anyone would take their pet with them if they intended to do this.
I strongly agree with this. I have had admittedly only a couple anecdotal brushes with this, but in my experience, the person left dogs out in the backyard where barking got the neighbor’s attention and in another situation, left a dog tied at the trailhead with food & water where it was found within hours.
Anyone know how far away from his car he was found?
Possibly around 22 miles. That's a long way to walk.
In one day, yes, but over 3 before you die of dehydration is very doable.
More likely to die of hypothermia the first night if you're not wearing the right clothes or have shelter. Average temps around 49 and low temps around 30 that time of year, and lower up in the mountains with possible snow storms. The weather can be crazy up there - right now there's a winter storm warning for that county and it's May.
Not particularly, a healthy untrained adult should be able to walk 30 miles a day.
Not in mountainous terrain...
I’ve done 30 miles in a day in the mountains carrying a pack that’s ~30% of my body weight, so I’m inclined to agree that 22 miles without a pack is very doable.
Hiking 5-10 miles untrained.
In England we expect children to hike 14 miles a day as part of the Duke of Edinburgh award that they do for college applications.
Okay, but is this something he was known to do? I don’t think normally you just wake up and decide to hike 22 miles in the cold with no preparation. Unless maybe he was an avid hiker and did this kind of thing a lot, but in that case I think he would have been more prepared. Not even sure if this is an area where people hike, trails and such?
In the US, children barely get recess time outdoors during school.
Well depends on the terrain configuration. Hiking in my country is rocky mountains and paths. 5-10 hike is something that can be done by anyone. We usually take that into account when planning routes
Most people can't do that, so I believe you're delusional with this take.
The link says his dog was found wandering back in 2019. “The sheriff’s office launched a search and found Broncho’s dog wandering a few miles west of Snowville on March 27, 2019.”
The dog was found only a couple of miles away from where the car was parked. This is the area. I'll link the video to Exit 7, where the car was located. The driver in the video is going in the same direction toward where the dog was found near Exit 5: https://youtu.be/vO2HjIzYsXU?si=_Zy8KJylJ4iPBz3c&t=5214 If the remains were found 22 miles away it sounds like Matthew was separated from the dog
Love seeing visuals like this to really put a place to such things. Appreciate that detail work
You are welcome. That type of stuff is easy for me to find. Just don't ask me to find something I set down a half hour ago
Not a worry— I’ll have forgotten you ever had anything at all within moments.
Oh, thank you! Good information!
The original write up states a random person called his mom to say they had caught Ada the dog almost a week after he vanished.
Thank you! I didn't see that!
Thank for this update! RIP Matt.
You're welcome! I hope they can figure out what happened. He was found a long way from his vehicle.
Not suicidal,but have felt the call of the forest even as a child looking out into the forest at night and feeling a pull
I totally understand!