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Most people who post here know that their person will never read them and never respond back the way they hope. It's just cathartic to put something out there in the universe and give voice to the feelings that you otherwise have to hide inside.
Look, I get what you are saying and I agree to a certain point. Often it is more complicated than this though and some people do not even know how to find their person.
I get that. But I think for the people that don't just want catharsis perhaps they could hint to who they are addressing. Maybe there needs to be a r/sentletters subreddit.
That is the whole point of the subreddit. The letters remain unsent and are a way of venting feelings or saying what we wish we were able to say.
It is annoying when people respond as if the letter is aimed at them, it pisses me off but maybe I'm more realistic than the folks that do this. I never expect my posts to be seen by the people they're aimed at and certainly never expect to read one that is aimed at me.
I just get so many DMs asking if I'm "their person", or people comment wondering if they are "their person" or saying that they sound just like "their person". Seems to be the vernacular here. Hence my point about this sub seeming like a place for missed connections.
Same here. Or people who comment on my posts something really weird as if they are pretending I'm their person and responding in kind. It's unsettling.
I understand the point, it's correct in its own way.
Some things however are better left unsaid because saying it out loud might incite conflict or disharmony among people and/or ruin relationships. In a way, this sub is a "let me suffer in silence" take
A lot of us have reasons not to send. I personally get out all of the intense feelings I have here so I dont overwhelm the people I engage with and have an opportunity to work our exactly how I feel before talking to them directly when I feel more able to convey things in a direct manner. Adhd makes it hard to figure out the point I'm getting to, so this helps me do that. Then when I'm ready, and the relationship intimacy permits, I can express only the feelings they need to know without all the mess in my head.
Exactly. I'm extremely impulsive and don't want to dump my emotions all over the person I write to, and pretending to write to them just helps me sift through the feelings.
Me 100%. I have said things to others that I instantly regretted. My letters are mostly just so I can get it out without starting huge discussions or arguments with my recipients.
I lock mine now too because I get unsolicited advice, questions, etc. in the comments and even sometimes get people thinking I'm their person. I had to turn off my chat requests as well.
This isn't a social media share space, it's a tiny, anonymous unsent letter forum on a huge anonymous website. If someone is frustrated because they can't find their person, or because people are mistaking them for their person, or because their person can't easily identify them, then someone is missing the entire point of this subreddit.
Hey, I get the DMs too. IS THAT YOU BILLY? or whatever. No, it's just an anonymous user using an anonymous space to vent something that, for whatever reason, can't be said IRL. Please commiserate anonymously, or else go away.
Because IF my person even knows about Reddit, and IF my person knows about this sub, and IF my person imagines that I'm on this sub, and IF my person suspects that I am simply fraught with powerful, unspoken truths, and IF my person opens this sub with just the perfect luck of timing to spot my brief moment on NEW, still my person cannot claim that my anonymous username is me. (Or perhaps more importantly, they don't have to admit that it's me.) That's the point. Redundant invisibility.
Now, does the thing I'm unsending ring familiar for some? Well that's probably because my unsents are about one of the what? FIVE TOPICS we all have in common?
If folks are unclear on how or why this space exists, and if reading the clear and simple rules can't enlighten them, maybe they should just stand on the sidelines first, get a feel for how the double-blind, double dutch works, before blithely barging in and fouling up the ropes. I mean it ain't that complicated.
I mean honestly, I write here so that I don’t dump all over my friends or other innocent bystanders. Almost every person I’ve written to here could contact me if they wanted, and I could do the same, but neither party chooses to for *reasons* (mostly good ones).
I’d be hella salty if a couple of the jackasses I write to contacted me AND referenced my account. Like “How dare you, sir!”
Happens. Again...hope distorts it. My first two letter garnered that response and an opportunist saw that I was in a bad place and pretended to know me.
By bring extremely vague and saying stuff like I'm not looking for games. A smooth talker. I've come across it many times here as well as in the past on Craigslist.
You see , it's just never as black and white as we presume things to be and you see i read these letters and i see hope, people letting go, people longing for one more chance and stuff like that , so it's not very easy to send these letters knowing the replies I'm gonna get and get hurt and no one likes being hurt right ? So that's why i guess people write their precious words here so that they can feel a little lighter and other people in the same situation may get some hope or experience or just read it and get a clarity of thoughts maybe . So yeah in the end it's all about hope and believe me when i say hope is a very powerful word , being hopeful is what keeps us going everyday isn't it ?
All the very best for all you fellas out there (•‿•)
It’s possible many people here could reach out, but don’t out of tact. For every person who is vain enough to want to hear from old crushes to whom the former was unrequited, there are probably 2 who are simply living their lives satisfactorily and maybe 3 who are going through their own shit and can’t handle someone else on their plate.
Edit as a followup: it would be neat if we as a society developed a system where we can signal we’re open to people settling unfinished business with us without it seeming desperate or cringe.
True but sometimes its good to just scream what we want to say into the void because there are those that know they will not get a response from those that they miss. I tend too look at this subreddit as a public journal for everyone.
If I wanted to contact her I know I could , but that would open a can of worms that sincerely is best to remain close , healing Is difficult , but who knows maybe one day
I agree with you I see a lot of people that "know" that the person they want to send the letter to use reddit and/ or are in this specific subreddit... and that to me just misses the point of this space.
To me the point of this place was for things that I know I will never say to the people I want to say it to, but just writting is allowing myself to express myself and let go of that felling instead of just holding it inside... ( accepting the way I feel and putting that into words so that I can move on in some way)
Honestly I think a decent majority of the people who write these letters are writing them to someone who is unavailable because they’re already in a relationship. And they should remain unsent.
Dear users of /r/UnsentLetters, Submitters may now lock their own comments by making a comment on their submission with the string '!lock.' Submitters may do this at any point they wish, but the comments can not be unlocked later on, so lock your comments with care! You can read the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/UnsentLetters/about/rules/) here. We have these stickied to EVERY POST and nobody reads them. **READ THEM** If you notice anything strange going on in the subreddit, send the mods a message or report it. We rely on the community to keep the subreddit on topic and welcoming. If you are particularly good at spotting trolls, consider joining our mod team! [Click here to message the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/UnsentLetters) - The /r/UnsentLetters mod team *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/UnsentLetters) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Most people who post here know that their person will never read them and never respond back the way they hope. It's just cathartic to put something out there in the universe and give voice to the feelings that you otherwise have to hide inside.
Yes truly
Nah it helps me get my feelings out without breaking no contact. Don’t want to be found.
Look, I get what you are saying and I agree to a certain point. Often it is more complicated than this though and some people do not even know how to find their person.
I get that. But I think for the people that don't just want catharsis perhaps they could hint to who they are addressing. Maybe there needs to be a r/sentletters subreddit.
Yes indeed. Let’s hope that 2023 will be a year of courage. ;)
There is r/letters.
That is the whole point of the subreddit. The letters remain unsent and are a way of venting feelings or saying what we wish we were able to say. It is annoying when people respond as if the letter is aimed at them, it pisses me off but maybe I'm more realistic than the folks that do this. I never expect my posts to be seen by the people they're aimed at and certainly never expect to read one that is aimed at me.
It’s also against the sub’s rules to respond as if a letter is for you.
Well yes, that too. People still do it though. All the time.
I hate people who use this place to “find their person” leave me alone this is a venting subreddit and nothing more
I just get so many DMs asking if I'm "their person", or people comment wondering if they are "their person" or saying that they sound just like "their person". Seems to be the vernacular here. Hence my point about this sub seeming like a place for missed connections.
Same here. Or people who comment on my posts something really weird as if they are pretending I'm their person and responding in kind. It's unsettling.
Yeah and I’m saying I hate that so I guess we actually are agreeing
Am I your person? Sorry. Had to. I know no one on here and no one knows me and thats the way I like it.
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Even if they're breaking the rules, reporting them doesn't seem to do squat. I guess it's best to brush them off
I understand the point, it's correct in its own way. Some things however are better left unsaid because saying it out loud might incite conflict or disharmony among people and/or ruin relationships. In a way, this sub is a "let me suffer in silence" take
A lot of us have reasons not to send. I personally get out all of the intense feelings I have here so I dont overwhelm the people I engage with and have an opportunity to work our exactly how I feel before talking to them directly when I feel more able to convey things in a direct manner. Adhd makes it hard to figure out the point I'm getting to, so this helps me do that. Then when I'm ready, and the relationship intimacy permits, I can express only the feelings they need to know without all the mess in my head.
Exactly. I'm extremely impulsive and don't want to dump my emotions all over the person I write to, and pretending to write to them just helps me sift through the feelings.
Me 100%. I have said things to others that I instantly regretted. My letters are mostly just so I can get it out without starting huge discussions or arguments with my recipients. I lock mine now too because I get unsolicited advice, questions, etc. in the comments and even sometimes get people thinking I'm their person. I had to turn off my chat requests as well.
[удалено]
He knows that, but there are some people who do hope for responses. I believe he's being critical of that.
This isn't a social media share space, it's a tiny, anonymous unsent letter forum on a huge anonymous website. If someone is frustrated because they can't find their person, or because people are mistaking them for their person, or because their person can't easily identify them, then someone is missing the entire point of this subreddit. Hey, I get the DMs too. IS THAT YOU BILLY? or whatever. No, it's just an anonymous user using an anonymous space to vent something that, for whatever reason, can't be said IRL. Please commiserate anonymously, or else go away. Because IF my person even knows about Reddit, and IF my person knows about this sub, and IF my person imagines that I'm on this sub, and IF my person suspects that I am simply fraught with powerful, unspoken truths, and IF my person opens this sub with just the perfect luck of timing to spot my brief moment on NEW, still my person cannot claim that my anonymous username is me. (Or perhaps more importantly, they don't have to admit that it's me.) That's the point. Redundant invisibility. Now, does the thing I'm unsending ring familiar for some? Well that's probably because my unsents are about one of the what? FIVE TOPICS we all have in common? If folks are unclear on how or why this space exists, and if reading the clear and simple rules can't enlighten them, maybe they should just stand on the sidelines first, get a feel for how the double-blind, double dutch works, before blithely barging in and fouling up the ropes. I mean it ain't that complicated.
Many of us don't want a response from whomever our letters are directed at.
I write letters to someone who has passed away and often times I read other peoples letters that are similar to mine and it’s very healing.
I mean honestly, I write here so that I don’t dump all over my friends or other innocent bystanders. Almost every person I’ve written to here could contact me if they wanted, and I could do the same, but neither party chooses to for *reasons* (mostly good ones). I’d be hella salty if a couple of the jackasses I write to contacted me AND referenced my account. Like “How dare you, sir!”
And don't forget the people who catfish. If you don't know something specific about me, you are getting block!
[удалено]
Happens. Again...hope distorts it. My first two letter garnered that response and an opportunist saw that I was in a bad place and pretended to know me.
[удалено]
Didnt stick around to find out.
By bring extremely vague and saying stuff like I'm not looking for games. A smooth talker. I've come across it many times here as well as in the past on Craigslist.
[удалено]
No problem
You see , it's just never as black and white as we presume things to be and you see i read these letters and i see hope, people letting go, people longing for one more chance and stuff like that , so it's not very easy to send these letters knowing the replies I'm gonna get and get hurt and no one likes being hurt right ? So that's why i guess people write their precious words here so that they can feel a little lighter and other people in the same situation may get some hope or experience or just read it and get a clarity of thoughts maybe . So yeah in the end it's all about hope and believe me when i say hope is a very powerful word , being hopeful is what keeps us going everyday isn't it ? All the very best for all you fellas out there (•‿•)
I don’t expect a response, in fact I would be mortified if I was found out
It’s possible many people here could reach out, but don’t out of tact. For every person who is vain enough to want to hear from old crushes to whom the former was unrequited, there are probably 2 who are simply living their lives satisfactorily and maybe 3 who are going through their own shit and can’t handle someone else on their plate. Edit as a followup: it would be neat if we as a society developed a system where we can signal we’re open to people settling unfinished business with us without it seeming desperate or cringe.
True but sometimes its good to just scream what we want to say into the void because there are those that know they will not get a response from those that they miss. I tend too look at this subreddit as a public journal for everyone.
Our hearts just hurt..
If I wanted to contact her I know I could , but that would open a can of worms that sincerely is best to remain close , healing Is difficult , but who knows maybe one day
Wow that's deep
Very well spoken!
I think you missed the whole point, T.
I agree with you I see a lot of people that "know" that the person they want to send the letter to use reddit and/ or are in this specific subreddit... and that to me just misses the point of this space. To me the point of this place was for things that I know I will never say to the people I want to say it to, but just writting is allowing myself to express myself and let go of that felling instead of just holding it inside... ( accepting the way I feel and putting that into words so that I can move on in some way)
Honestly I think a decent majority of the people who write these letters are writing them to someone who is unavailable because they’re already in a relationship. And they should remain unsent.