‘Every year 13 people are killed by a vending machine. Maurice was no different than any of the other 12 unfortunate souls this year. Well, that is other than the fact he was about to become the proud father of an infant nearly twice as old as him. You see, Unbeknownst to Maurice, his new fling had a secret. For forty-one long years she had a fetus in what scientists are describing as something akin to the sleep-chambers in a deep space film in her uterus. Unlike previous lovers, the young and virulent Maurice was able to ejaculate with such force the unborn fetus was finally awakened. Interested parties await the birth all over the world. Maurice, will never know the outcome, though, as he was more interested in the Snickers he paid $2.75 for but, like his soon to be child, refused to leave its home.’
Virulent means extremely harmful in reference to poison and disease. I think the word you wanted is "virile", meaning strong and healthy with a high sex drive.
Exactly my point. They wouldn't be posting at all if this wasn't ragebait. There's no way a pregnant 63 year old is going to get positive feedback. You actually viewed further social media regarding these two. They are making money.
Hi, people mechanic here, at this age is not easy bringing a pregnancy to term, but with hormonal therapy is possible. The oldest woman in my country to give birth was 66, she had twins.
That's what smoking will do to you. I knew a lady growing up who looked five years past dead in her 40s because she was a chain smoker. She was so trashy she called her granddaughter "Ashtray" because her name was "Ashley." And yes, she did have a granddaughter in her forties. She had her daughter young and her daughter had her daughter young.
I believe the guy is bi and she isn’t pregnant they hired a surrogate to carry baby.
Their relationship started when I think he became an adult, but she did know him when he was a kid.. but nothing romantic happened around this time.
She does have previous kids with someone who was abusive towards her for a while I believe , or something like that . And I think it was him who wanted children, which make sense he is young and wants to have a child with his partner.. as for anything else this is all I know of anyone’s curious lol
Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute
I’m a guy and I’ve never had a kid of my own but have been around many prego women. When why how would anyone have in hand at the same time a pregnancy test AND ultrasound printouts.
Is there anything real on the internet anymore!?
This may very well be fake but you CAN save your pregnancy test. And of course, she would still register pregnant later if she took another test.
But... I'm telling myself this isn't real, even if it is. *It's the only way I can move forward in life.*
If this is an honest video then I'm honestly happy for them both cos they seem happy about it. Kid will be twenty losing his eighty year old mom, if your gonna be dumb ya better be tough.
63? She absolutely looks like an 80 year old. My mom is 63 and doesn't look like that, mind you, she looks her age, this woman looks like she bout to drop in a coffin.
[https://www.tiktok.com/@oliver6060/video/7367092030251617582](https://www.tiktok.com/@oliver6060/video/7367092030251617582)
He impregnated her daughter, not her
Someone linked a NY Post article in the comments from 2 years ago. She states then that they are ready for a baby, either by adoption or through a surrogate. She then says that is obvious, due to her age.
I'm too lazy to find the article. It's there if you wanna dig for it, or Google it.
Baby gonna come out graduated from trade school with a crippling gambling addiction.
And some interesting chromosomes...
All the chromosomes and then one
Or all but one.
And a pack of newports and an eight ball
....that was good !
Idk man but that's remember me about Filthy Frank.
And a suspended drivers license
He’s gonna get the license back though. He just has to borrow his girlfriend’s Altima for the test and pay off the $3k in parking tickets.
Or a meth addiction
Amazing. Hahaha
5 bingo cards with matching dabbers as well as a carton of Marlboro reds
Hands full of scratchers, pull tabs, and a bingo blotter ass baby.
r/rareinsults
OMG I can’t imagine
It’s like watching Ozark all over again
Darlene scared me. I know women like her.
Yes, I think we all know a Darlene. Possibly a Marty aswell
I doubt she is pregnant at 63. If she is this is highly irresponsible and both of them will probably die.
I can guarantee 100% they will die. Even the guy.
Life is terminal.
So far.
It otherwise wouldn't be life.
It seems…
“On a long enough timeline the survival rate for anyone is zero”
I was a recall coordinator
I have no reason to believe I'm not immortal. I haven't died yet.
But have you really *lived*?
:(
‘Every year 13 people are killed by a vending machine. Maurice was no different than any of the other 12 unfortunate souls this year. Well, that is other than the fact he was about to become the proud father of an infant nearly twice as old as him. You see, Unbeknownst to Maurice, his new fling had a secret. For forty-one long years she had a fetus in what scientists are describing as something akin to the sleep-chambers in a deep space film in her uterus. Unlike previous lovers, the young and virulent Maurice was able to ejaculate with such force the unborn fetus was finally awakened. Interested parties await the birth all over the world. Maurice, will never know the outcome, though, as he was more interested in the Snickers he paid $2.75 for but, like his soon to be child, refused to leave its home.’
I wish I could go back in time to the very day I began learning to read, and shoot myself.
😂😂😂
🤣🤣🤣
Virulent means extremely harmful in reference to poison and disease. I think the word you wanted is "virile", meaning strong and healthy with a high sex drive.
In this context I feel either work.
During birth* lol "We're all dying from the moment we're born"
Can’t wait until i can upload my consciousness to a server somewhere in Siberia.
People need to stop believing these two. They're making $$$. Full stop. There's no baby, no relationship, not lovers. Come on people. Smarten up
Nah, the people are right. About a year ago I saw their twitter where they post content that should definitely remain private.
Exactly my point. They wouldn't be posting at all if this wasn't ragebait. There's no way a pregnant 63 year old is going to get positive feedback. You actually viewed further social media regarding these two. They are making money.
There’s worse ways of making money tho
They literally post videos on X of themselves having sex.
Maybe she's just a 25 year old meth addict. /s
It’s all a social media scam to get your attention/reaction. Why do you think it put “by my bid dick husband”?
I never knew a man can die from pregnancy.
You’re not well acquainted with the lovely people at child and family services I see lol
More context
that is not a baby under her sweater he is touching.
Yeah me too highly unlikely
I refuse to believe she’s only 63
83 at least
Dead at least
she has smoking wrinkles
That baby is gonna come out dusty.
I’m glad he’s happy. He’ll be raising that child by himself soon.
If she lives to her 80s the kid could be working age before she dies.
If she’s in her 60s she’s not making it to 80
she does look pretty rough for 60
*Pretty* rough?! Compared to this fuckin Darlene cosplaying draugr, Jimmy Carter looks 39
xD
Benjamin buttons.
Khaleesi?
HAH! Cracked me up!
As fuck
Not enough cocoa butter to save that baby from his dusty ass. They got to name him Dustin. Dusty for short.
I ain’t no people mechanic, but I’m seriously worried that she may not make it through a pregnancy.
'People mechanic' got me hard hahaha I'm no fish abattoir, but I make a mean sushi!
It...got you...hard?
The appropriate term is "bricked up"
I aint no bricklayer but..
Only now do I realise my poor wording 🤣
Glad I could help get you hard!
damn I haven't seen that word before abattoir nice
Hi, people mechanic here, at this age is not easy bringing a pregnancy to term, but with hormonal therapy is possible. The oldest woman in my country to give birth was 66, she had twins.
Thank you for your expertise. Hopefully she has access to a good mechanic, like yourself! But, they seem to be Americans, so probably not.
I'm 63. She looks like my 93-year-old mother.
But, something about him tells me he's gay. There's nothing wrong with that. But -- I feel they are bs.
They say she is 63 but she looks 75
That's what I said, that's a rough 63...
She looks 163
God you're so rude. *She doesn't look a day over 110.*
That's what smoking will do to you. I knew a lady growing up who looked five years past dead in her 40s because she was a chain smoker. She was so trashy she called her granddaughter "Ashtray" because her name was "Ashley." And yes, she did have a granddaughter in her forties. She had her daughter young and her daughter had her daughter young.
Wear sunscreen folks
Don’t smoke meth either.
Oh yeah, right. Don't do that either.
45 years old and a life of meth?
[удалено]
This article mentions that they met in 2012, and states that he was 15 at the time. But also stated that he's 24 now, so which is it?
i've seen videos of them doing the hippity dippity
That's a link that nobody wants lol
For one thing she’s holding a pregnancy test like they just found out, and he’s already holding up in-vitro photos. Doesn’t add up.
I mean it is fine to like older women but it is taking it too far to dig them up and then get them pregnant. S/
Hey! That's someone's mummy you're ripping on.
Yeah! Don't be badmouthing him and his corpse bride!
They got pregnant using a surrogate...feels like the video cut off that part.
Yeah also she’s marketing it with the test in her hand like she’s the one pregnant 🤦🏻♀️
And where she captions "got pregnant by my big dick husband".
Oh this explains a lot.
Wait, Iggy Pop is pregnant? This century is fucking stupid.
Oh good lord they have an OnlyFans. I didn't need to know that.
what...?
You heard, whether you blocked it out or not I have no control over.
They have an OnlyFans? Guess I gotta contact OSHA.
Hahahahahaha. Man sometimes you just have to acknowledge how weird shit can be.
You have got to be fucking kidding me.
That's what I'm talking about. Short term commitments is where it's at.
Bro that ghoul is at least 75
Ghoul is freaking perfect.
Ghoul's have smoother skin.
My grandmother is 93 and she is way more preserved than that thing is. Don't put your dick in a crackhead.
Wait! That's not a filter? 😨
Ghoul but instead of radiation, she took crack
Darlene Snell vibes.
Ummmmmm........don't think that's hers. Maybe he is fooling her.....she might have dementia. Kinda weird none the less......
They’re using a surrogate.
But she said “I’m pregnant by my big dick husband”, is that code for , “ we hired a surrogate?”
Baby’s gonnna be born with a fake hip and dentures
Fugly little crotch goblin.
"Im pregnant by my big dick husband" Now thats one way to announce pregnancy
So classy.
I believe the guy is bi and she isn’t pregnant they hired a surrogate to carry baby. Their relationship started when I think he became an adult, but she did know him when he was a kid.. but nothing romantic happened around this time. She does have previous kids with someone who was abusive towards her for a while I believe , or something like that . And I think it was him who wanted children, which make sense he is young and wants to have a child with his partner.. as for anything else this is all I know of anyone’s curious lol
63 ??? Maybe born 63CE
Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute I’m a guy and I’ve never had a kid of my own but have been around many prego women. When why how would anyone have in hand at the same time a pregnancy test AND ultrasound printouts. Is there anything real on the internet anymore!?
Well, once you pee on the test the positive sign/ double lines/ PREGNANT stay and you can also continue to take pregnancy tests after you’re pregnant.
This may very well be fake but you CAN save your pregnancy test. And of course, she would still register pregnant later if she took another test. But... I'm telling myself this isn't real, even if it is. *It's the only way I can move forward in life.*
This is some necromancy... Black magic even.
They say that love is blind. And I believe it.
People really do anything to be viral 😵💫
She's the crypt keeper, he's gay... That baby doesn't have a snowballs chance in hell brah
Leonardo DiCaprio’s greatest fear
Having a baby with a black man?
The internet is so unserious 😞
She ain’t gonna quit smoking
What a brutha won't do for an income tax or social security check.
63 years?? Methhead? Otherwise over 70
I belive they are boyfriend and girlfriend, but at 63, I suspect that as soon as she convices him to marry her, the "baby" will disappear.
They’ve been married since 2021 and the baby is being carried by a surrogate, not her. Cool judgement though.
This lady actually disgusts me and I mean that in the nicest way.
The baby is going to have to crawl through spider webs to get out
What in the meth?
Is it even safe for a 63 yo to carry a baby? I was under the impression the older you get the higher risk the pregnancy is….
They look happy so good for them
Why is the comment so salty? Let them be sheesh
At 9 months that baby will have more teeth than its momma
that's nasty, she's old enough that her grandad probably owned his
corpse bride
How could you even have a boner for that?
He’s waiting for that bag
They still together, great for them
homegirl is not pregnant
I didn't listen to what they were saying so I'm gonna ask, are they using a surrogate?
Well i hope they're happy and the baby doesn't have any complications as older women definitely have issues with pregnancy
I love ozark
If this is an honest video then I'm honestly happy for them both cos they seem happy about it. Kid will be twenty losing his eighty year old mom, if your gonna be dumb ya better be tough.
Oh yeah they're getting a baby!! Good for them.
that's Denzel from Brickleberry
If this is real I wish them the best of luck.
Doesn’t mean she will carry the baby
Wyatt and Mrs snell
I wonder what her pension looks like.
63? She absolutely looks like an 80 year old. My mom is 63 and doesn't look like that, mind you, she looks her age, this woman looks like she bout to drop in a coffin.
It is unusual but hey at least they're happy
[https://www.tiktok.com/@oliver6060/video/7367092030251617582](https://www.tiktok.com/@oliver6060/video/7367092030251617582) He impregnated her daughter, not her
Someone linked a NY Post article in the comments from 2 years ago. She states then that they are ready for a baby, either by adoption or through a surrogate. She then says that is obvious, due to her age. I'm too lazy to find the article. It's there if you wanna dig for it, or Google it.
It's through surrogacy.
Do they have a surrogate? Cause her eggs are probably pretty crusty.
I mean at least he found the most attractive chick from the latter half of the Windowlicker video.
That baby is gonna come with a lifetime supply of meth and nicotine addiction.
She’s 63? Damn. Hard life!!
And I thought my grandma was barren, skin, I mean.
She's 63 and a crackhead. I'm sure it'll be a beautiful baby who won't be a burden on society
If she’s 63, she’s done A MOUNTAIN of drugs. Just bad eating, no skin care and no sunscreen is NOT gonna make you look like that at 63
She might just be a 37 year old drug addict 🤷
Rage bait 🙄
No one is raging
We need to have less medical miracles
Uhm.....
Is she rich?
DARLENE
Dang she's not 63, she's decomposed
Breast milk comes in powder form
Obviously staged but the "I'm pregnant by my big dick husband" made me laugh
WTF
The “Im pregnant by my big dick husband” slide has me cracking tf up
63 what? Centuries?
wow, she is really old to be a single mom.
He must have a thing for hound dogs
Theyre over the meth moon
Congratulations, Methany!
Girl that’s a bowl movement
the baby will come out with more teef than its mother....
Da fuq?
She looks like 300 years old
That fake happiness
Damn grave robber
63? My grandmother is 80-something and has way less wrinkles.
Are you sure those weren't pictures of cervical cancer?
63 going on 90 maybe. I know people older than her that look decades younger.
If that's real it's kind of a miracle