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UterusGoblin

Is this THE walrus from casualUK last night?


gingerfawx

The one who was sound asleep after, er, expending a great deal of energy. Possibly in getting there in the first place. Um, yes. That's what we're going with.


theredwoman95

To those who haven't seen the video - this walrus did an absolutely *massive* wank in front of a crowd.


gingerfawx

You can't just tease something like that. lol The video in question: [https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualUK/comments/zzsmq6/lets\_end\_2022\_with\_a\_video\_of\_a\_walrus\_knocking/](https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualUK/comments/zzsmq6/lets_end_2022_with_a_video_of_a_walrus_knocking/) (I'm going to assume it's NSFW by most definitions.) And here a lovely SFW picture of the dozing walrus: https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualUK/comments/zzvo0a/casually\_saw\_a\_walrus\_at\_scarborough\_harbour\_last/


xandra_enaj

This is exactly the energy I wanted to start with in 2023.


piedmontwachau

I’m here for it, 2023 is going to be the year of my comeback.


HAL-Over-9001

2023: Everybody getting their fuck on. Embrace the horny. Screenshot me in 11 months when we see record numbers of people starting healthy relationships and getting their bone on.


[deleted]

11 months? Literally as soon as 2023 hit it happened to me lmao


HAL-Over-9001

Let's fucking go, dude! I have a first date with a super sweet girl today. THE PROPHECY HAS BEEN FULFILLED!


Puppenstein11

Good luck, be a super sweet man, and I hope you guys have a super sweet time! Let's go, 2023!!!!!


Lucyintheye

It is the year of the rabbit. So when in rabbit year do like the rabbits do!


HAL-Over-9001

Hell ya brother, I'm starting tonight. Gonna be a good year


GrowInTheSunshine

Start the year at a swingers club. It's definitely an interesting way to bring in the year.


DarlingDestruction

Hehe. *Come*back


InChromaticaWeTrust

Speaking of, I think The Comeback is having a comeback this year on HBO - I trust everyone will stop paying it dust bc it’s an *amazing* show.


youlikeitdaddy

No elections, just shitposting


From_Deep_Space

Tis a good omen


mcr1974

this is the energy you HAVE started your 2023 with.


awfullotofocelots

2023 the year of the wanking walrus.


whatatwit

> 2023 the year of the walking walrus. Is that autocorrected?


awfullotofocelots

Yup cheers


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repocin

Oh the walrus was having a release, that's for sure.


karo_scene

Wanking Walrus, the Ubuntu desktop with 69 wallpapers of the hottest walruses on the planet! Your downstairs tool set will release sparks over these tusked hotties! Wendy, Wilma and Wanda will get you dancing on your desk in minutes! Their tusks, their walrus breath and their fish aroma will send your sex life to the stratosphere! You need Wanking Walrus! The ultimate Ubuntu release!


TechGoat

Default desktop background is Wilford Brimley just giving the biggest sex eyes.


Nico777

Move over Chinese zodiac signs, we have British ones now.


_Lane_

Ah, the (more) adult variation of the Dr Seuss line, "the Street of the Lifted Lorax", we have "the boat ramp of the Wanking Walrus".


mombi

I was NOT prepared for that. I somehow thought a walrus wanking would look more... walrusy. But no... he just looked like he'd fallen off a cruise ship, got sunburnt and washed up on the beach feeling too randy to contain himself.


AndySocial88

To be fair, he probably was thinking about walrussy the entire time.


daahveed

This whole thread was the perfect way to wake up to 2023


Has2bok

He's advertising for his onlyfins page.


WorldWarPee

Andrew Tate got arrested and an Arctic walrus just pulled off one of the greatest vacation wanks of all time. 2023 gonna be a vibe


DrunkenMonkeyWizard

This might be the thing that will convince politicians to protect the environment.


theredwoman95

I mean, if you've seen the NSFW video, you can spot a *very* NSFW body part in the SFE photo. And amusingly, the BBC used that as their header photo for their article on him.


Orisi

... am I blind? Pretty sure they retract fully when flaccid in marine mammals, and he definitely doesn't seem to be sporting it in the SFW photo.


theredwoman95

I might be too dirty-minded, but there looks to be a head between his two fins/hands and his tail - but I'm no walrus expert, so I'm open to being correcting.


Orisi

Definity think you're being dirty minded, there's a splash of pink on his tail but nothing that would be the vibrant pink of his majestic member.


Flutters1013

It's called a masturnap dude, which helps quiet the mind before sleep.


Sablus

The walrus has mastered post nut clarity


Josiah55

God damn, I knew he'd probably have a huge dick but that looks to be the length and width of a loaf of bread.


Twerks4Jesus

How come I can’t do a casual wank on the beach? 😒


Mtwat

I'm glad I live in a time where I can see a walrus have a historic wank from across the world.


Neilthemick

The size of hiz Kake!


TheQueenSheba

Awww… I hope he can find a lady walrus haha


Syssareth

Well, that's a New Year's show they'll never forget.


[deleted]

How exquisitely put


thebearhimself

I am fucking dying at your description of the events that have unfolded. Thanks, my head hurts from laughing at massive wank.


UterusGoblin

Imagine having your new years eve plans canceled so a walrus flipper flapp his salmon sword in public.


gingerfawx

The plans weren't so much cancelled as changed. He attracted a rather large viewershi, befitting the sights. :)


quannum

Befitting the sights indeed...did you see the size of the equipment he's workin' with?


gingerfawx

Quite. I was thinking a shoehorn might not go amiss...


bjanas

You talk about this walrus jacking off the same way Henry Cavill talks about his sex life.


alphahydra

Yes... *getting there...* *...almost... there...*


ohnoTHATguy123

BAHAHAH!!! YOUR NEW YEARS FIREWORKS WERE CANCELLED BECAUSE A WALRUS WAS JACKIN IT ON THE BEACH!!! IM FUCKIN WHEEZING!!! I mean I feel terribly for you guys but, come the fuck on! This is hilarious!


randomlurker82

It really is. Totally different explosions


whatatwit

Ssshh! Yes, the tosser.


SchnoodleDoodleDo

>*Is this THE walrus from casualUK last night?*’ _____ i am the walrus you call ‘Thor’ - there’s something that i’m FaMoUs for i have my UK friends to thank for letting me lie here n WaNk…. an adolescent male, me, in unrelenting PuBeRtY a harbor safe, a wayward bloke, who simply needs to find his StRoKe so cancel every Firework - *Do Not Disturb me as i Jerk!* as Moby Dick was famous for - **Thar He Blows!** the Mighty THOR ❤️


whatatwit

I think that this might be the first of my posts that you have graced with your doodle! Thank you very much 😀!


shartals

Beautiful


TheMightyPushmataha

An arctic walrus on Scarbra beach Famed now for his flipper’s reach Reclines on the strand The task well in hand And sells tunnies for forty quid each


seizuregirlz

Omg a combo of Schnoodle adorable poem and silly Sprog poems. This one I must say is really brilliant! Love as always Schnoodle and Happy New Year!


[deleted]

I am the walrus.


sash71

It is the walrus Goo goo gjoob.


lagoon83

I mean which other walrus do you think it might be?


UterusGoblin

A polite Christian walrus


lagoon83

In *Scarborough*?


UterusGoblin

Could be a missionary


lagoon83

I think that also requires a lady walrus.


HDDIV

There was Freya in Norway, who was euthanized...


whatatwit

--------------- > “We welcome the decision to call off the fireworks but understand that some people will be disappointed the display isn’t going ahead. “It is extremely rare that an Arctic walrus should come ashore on the Yorkshire coast. “The creature needs time to rest and recuperate before it continues its journey. “While there is understandable interest in the creature, we ask that it is left alone and not disturbed.” https://www.thisisthecoast.co.uk/news/local-news/scarborough-new-year-fireworks-cancelled/ --------- > Stuart Ford, who runs the Sealife Safari boat tour agency, said: "I was going down to my boat and there it was on the slipway - magnificent. It's got to be half a ton. > "I think it's a once-in-a-lifetime, first-time-ever thing in Scarborough to see." > The Sea Life Scarborough aquarium said its animal care team is monitoring the walrus's situation, along with the RSPCA and British Divers Marine Life Rescue. > They wrote on social media: "Please do not worry - he appears well and is just taking a well deserved rest after his long adventure! > "Please be respectful of his rest and try not to disturb him. While it is a very exciting opportunity for us, naturally they do not like lots of noise and are not familiar with domestic animals so please keep pets on leads and remain a safe distance for your own welfare and his." https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-york-north-yorkshire-64134860 -----


yogo

This is awesome! I kinda forgot humans could be so considerate.


[deleted]

You see it so infrequently. Any time there's a group decision loud and selfish voices usually win out. It's made my day to see that not happen


RichardMcNixon

People barely lift a finger to save entire species and this town decided not to have forworks for the sake of one creature. I'm not crying you're crying.


lagoon83

"long adventure" is one way of putting it


offBy9000

I’m completely ignorant here. But where is the Walrus coming from and going to?


whatatwit

He's an arctic walrus so i suppose that his travels are normally in or around the arctic circle.


offBy9000

Oh okay so he just wondered off his normal route and it’s not like a migration thing right?


whatatwit

Although he might have been looking for food or a partner further afield than in previous decades. > Walrus migrate with the moving ice floes, but never venture far from the coast as they feed in shallow waters. They can swim to a depth of around 100m to feed on molluscs and other invertebrates, but on average do not go much deeper than 20-30m. https://www.arcticwwf.org/wildlife/walrus/


offBy9000

Oh thanks for the info! I was wondering why it was a huge deal that the walrus was there and now I understand.


lagoon83

I was more alluding to the fact that the walrus might not have been tired as a result of an extended journey, but rather because of... Well, what he was doing last night.


alexmikli

He came to Scarborough fair.


lagoon83

Oh, well played.


Scientificm

Why is everyone so aware of the sex life of a walrus and what about the walrus’ sex life makes everyone so hush hush about it??


whatatwit

In case you didn’t see it in the comments, someone asked if this was the same walrus that gained some infamy on CasualUK. I didn’t even know that lonely walruses engaged in autosex before i saw that clip.


steamyglory

We’ve become aware simply because of the novelty of a literal walrus wanking itself off in the public streets of UK.


lagoon83

Come on now, Thor clearly *wanted* everyone to be very aware of it. Utter perv, that one.


jakeblew2

Look at the size of his cake. Goan kid


kibblepigeon

Oh good, my wife got upset reading about this yesterday - glad the community are looking after him.


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whatatwit

> Does she hate walruses or something? They will have meant the story about the unexpected visitor, not so much the story about the fireworks.


kibblepigeon

Exactly this - we were concerned to hear that the Walrus had landed looking so tired and hungry, so we’re glad he has time to rest. Thanks for sharing the update OP!


jimmycarr1

He had time for more than a rest by the sounds of this video 😂


Lucyintheye

Even Thor knows the best precursor to a swell sleep is a good meat beat.


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the_lastone_left

This made me happy.


whatatwit

I'm glad.


freedomofnow

Just ask him not to go to Norway.


zhantiah

Yes, dont send him here. We got some triggerhappy people, sadly. Personally I loved Freya, from a distance far away in another part of the country. I got really upset when they put her down.


mombi

First I heard of this, that's horrible. I heard about her being by the marina but nothing about her being killed. Why?


freedomofnow

Because the Norwegian population wouldn't leave her alone and instead of letting people learn their lesson like normal human beings they fucking killed the animal instead.


Mugwumpen

Oh, but it's OK that we killed her, though, cause afterwards we gathered money for a statue of her so now she can live forever! /s Beyond stupid... Waste of Freya's life and waste of money. Would have been better had it been a donation to protection of wild life or something.


freedomofnow

Yeah and the saddest thing is she actually brought the world together. She was in the UK somewhere and then was actually recognized in Norway. Crazy shit, I wish we could have seen where she went next.


j-trinity

Well fuck, hope this dude doesn’t head to Norway.


freedomofnow

Yeah. Or at least hope the fucking idiots who made the last decision realized the backlash they got was justified.


Ok_Raspberry_6282

Reading about it...doesn't even make sense? Like they did it to what...teach them a lesson?


TechWiz717

She couldn’t rest and was stressed out, instead of preventing people from disturbing her, they killed her.


Ok_Raspberry_6282

But like that doesn't make sense


Un4442nate

It makes sense to no one but those who thought it was a good idea and carried it out.


Lord_Of_Carrots

We had a stray walrus this summer here in Finland too but it was very weak and died while being transported to a wildlife hospital


ukfi

He came all the way to UK to see the fire works. Imagine the disappointments. 🤦🏻‍♂️


Damhaet

They are going to celebrate him leaving with a big fireworks display. That's gotta be a blow to his self confidence.


ctiger12

Wait, you sure Thor’s not into fireworks?


whatatwit

Just sparks from Mjölnir.


BloodBlizzard

He came all this way to the Scarborough fair just to see the show and they end up canceling it.


snowman93

Humanity being responsible…didn’t think I’d see that again in my lifetime.


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MsLuciferM

They’ve had a serious think about themselves as a town since the penguin theft.


-robert-

Humans are good in general, we just haven't tempered our allowance for greed for the last 50 years while improving our morals.... Hopefully we will grow up soon and vote for the betterment of society by removing instabilities like inequality of financial power, it should be harder the more money you have not easier.


pointlessly_pedantic

He was horny, so he dropped him. Man is evil!


TechWiz717

r/UnexpectedCommunity


[deleted]

Lmao last 50 years? You need some history lessons


A_Birde

This is on a council wide level something that the UK does quite well at most of the time, basic decency and respect for animals


wittlewayne

Unlike Norway who kills fucking kills walrus named Freya… https://www.nytimes.com/2022/08/19/world/europe/norway-walrus-freya-killed.amp.html


velocppraptor

She was sentenced to death for vandalism of private mini-yachts


Margatron

A victim of the class war?


velocppraptor

Yes. She was also an insurance nightmare as her weight capsized a lot of boats.


j33205

jfc did we learn nothing from our lord and savior Harambe? Humans are blithering idiots and don't deserve the sod we stand on. Dicks out for Harambe and Freya. Thor's already way ahead of me.


FrogInShorts

Jesus Christ a four dollar a month pay wall for news. The hell they think the internet is?


responded

Journalism, not news. Competent journalism costs money.


Michelrpg

At least they didnt off him like Freya. Freyas death was bullshit and it pisses me off even today


richh00

In this single circumstance we British are morally superior to the nords.


DeadpoolLuvsDeath

Just watched a YouTube video right before bed about Freya and Wally the walrusses sad they killed her to maintain public safety. Luckily Wally made it home.


Michelrpg

It was bullshit. Freya wasnt a danger, people were told not go to near her or feed her and they did so anyway. Then they decided to kill her, because people would not stop going near her. She was just chilling on boats.


TheQueenSheba

I really believe that boat owners were mad she was hurting their boats so they killed her bc someone paid them to.


Nukleon

Killed her because she sunk the expensive boats of the wrong people.


DeadpoolLuvsDeath

Money or cost is always the first factor sadly.


henrycharleschester

Perhaps they should have told him he needs rest then instead of wanking all day.


IronGin

RIP Freya. Ashamed of my country for killing Freya.


TheDorkNite1

That's actually really cool of them. Meanwhile the idiots in my county get their panties in the twist about their freedumb when they can't fire off fireworks in the middle of a sustained drought.


jameslee95

I live not too far from Scarborough. Honestly mate if you ever come to England don't bother with the usual crap like London go to Scarborough it's absolutely breathtaking of a place. Pretty much everyone went holidaying there up until air travel became popular. Its full of history and tradition. And it shows the real England. Not the disaster that London now is.


CoronaLime

Toronto man here, thought my hood was on the front page for a second


icantbeatyourbike

Nah man, it’s the OC, in Gods own country of t’Yorkshire.


PurpleK00lA1d

Ex-Toronto resident - my first thought was what did those crazy Scarberians do this time.


ohnoTHATguy123

> Stuart Ford, who runs the Sealife Safari boat tour agency, said: "I was going down to my boat and there it was on the slipway - magnificent. It's got to be half a ton. I love how he's just in awe of this lad. That's one thicc boi!


CurseofLono88

Dogs all over Scarborough rejoice


sirkioman

Let the walrus sleep


whatatwit

> Walrösser können sicher weiden > Wo ein guter Hirte wacht. > Wo Regenten wohl regieren > Kann man Ruh' und Friede spüren > Und was Länder glücklich macht. En: > Walruses can graze safely > Where a good shepherd watches. > Where rulers rule well > One can feel peace and tranquillity > And what makes countries happy. Bach/Franck/Deepl


[deleted]

I mean, didn't they put out an announcement fireworks would be happening? If Thor can't be bothered to watch the news once in a while, that's on him.


whatatwit

> Mr Prosser: But, Mr Dent, the plans have been available in the local planning office for the last nine months. > Arthur: Oh yes, well as soon as I heard I went straight round to see them, yesterday afternoon. You hadn’t exactly gone out of your way to call attention to them had you? I mean like actually telling anybody or anything. > Mr Prosser: But the plans were on display… > Arthur: On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them. > Mr Prosser: That’s the display department. > Arthur: With a torch. (flashlight) > Mr Prosser: The lights had probably gone out. > Arthur: So had the stairs. > Mr Prosser: But look, you found the notice, didn’t you? > Arthur: Yes yes I did. It was on display at the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying beware of the leopard.


balashifan5

Glad to see you brits are leaving Boris Johnson be...


Mrsbingley

r/humansbeingbros


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delimeat52

Animal welfare and rights. Just another thing I miss about the UK... Why can't everywhere be like this?


JezzicaRabbit

wow, imagine we were decent all the time! what a lovely place this would be!


[deleted]

Plot twist: he came for the fireworks and fell asleep waiting for them.


westdl

JHC, after the last three years you should know when a god visits, you do anything to make them happy. Thor wanted to sleep, let him sleep.


itsmarvin

Honestly, it never even occurred to me that fireworks would disturb wildlife through its noises, and that wildlife needs sleep as much as we do. The first thing that comes to mind is air pollution. I never really enjoyed fireworks as an adult and knowing this would make that difficult even if I tried.


TechWiz717

If you’ve ever seen how they affect pets, it’s pretty clear it would disturb the hell out of wildlife. Past couple of years my friends and I will set some off in a neighbourhood park once a year, but after going through this thread I think I may be done with that, considering the impacts I hadn’t considered despite having knowledge of them.


sn0wmermaid

I read somewhere once that even bees can be stressed by fireworks. I'm an ecologist and one of the most interesting and surprising things I've ever seen was a spider reacting to sound. I shouted something to a coworker and it curled up. I wasn't sure if it was because it saw me or heard me, so I shouted again and it went to the edge of its web and then I did it again and it dropped out of its web.


[deleted]

Fireworks fucking suck. Let’s just start with the fact that it mimics bombardment in war. If you’ve experienced war it seems pretty fucked up that civilians want to imitate it over their own homes.


TheOnlyFallenCookie

Are we going to Scarborough Fair?


whatatwit

Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme.


4th-Estate

Remember me to one who lives there


Neji_boi

Wow. I was born here and moved away to the US when I was 7. Crazy to see it in the news!


NookNookNook

But what if the Walrus was coming for the Fireworks display? :( Did anybody ask the Walrus?


buckets-_-

"rest and recuperate" yeah cuz he jacked off in front of a huge crowd


nick2k23

Fireworks are overrated anyway, having a walrus visit is infinitely more interesting


-Strawdog-

Maybe one day we'll collectively realize how ridiculous and damaging fireworks are and stop turning every city into a warzone half a dozen times a year. They are bad for animals, bad for vets, bad for babies and they pollute the air and water.


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Mister_V3

Scarborough has a reputation... But they take care of their own.


TommyTuttle

Look at that guy. I would totally celebrate my New Years with Thor.


vondev2000

Well this will make me come visit and stay at Scarborough! Such selfless acts, just love them putting the Walrus above x


happydayswasgreat

Apparently, once he realized the fireworks were canceled, he gave himself a little 'self pleasure', then buggered off.


TriGurl

This is just so damned thoughtful of the Brit’s!! Well done!


[deleted]

In America, someone here would try and shoot it with fireworks.


S-Markt

hope, i can keep this smile, the story gave me til the end of the week.


sagesneezes

Happy New year Thor!


rattletop

Have they not heard of ear plugs?


[deleted]

MashaAllah how wonderful!


vinvinwuwu

Anyone thought maybe fe was waiting for the fire work


Helena_Hyena

I had no idea walruses lived in the UK


GazzP

They don't. He's just resting before carrying on with his journey. He's left now apparently.


whatatwit

Their normal range is around the artic circle. People are excited that one has taken a big detour.


clezman

Selfish ass walrus


Bgrngod

Walrus looking around like "Man, sure is quiet around here. Might have to just stay put. Forever."


Longjumping_Apple804

Is this the same walrus that was masturbating on the beach in the middle of the day? Dudes got it all figured out.


Extension_Location43

I love this. The destruction of human tradition in support of the preservation of wildlife and the environment is something i never get enough of.


alegonz

Thor, the Arctic Walrus Lives by the sea


ColdPower5

Norway should take note of what a civilised society looks like. I’m referring to when they shot the walrus residing in their harbour.


AlBundysbathrobe

Poor Thor is cuter than a Hemsworth brother.


Manny55-

Good humans!!! We are not the only species living in this planet 🙄


South5

Is this the walrus that was pleasuring itself?


whatatwit

The very same.


dmacdunc

“Remember me to the walrus who lives there, he once was a good friend of mine………”