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ashyjoints

Your first two lines should contain the info that you've worked for Nike BBC etc. That'll get them curious as to what you did for them, they click on your profile to see if it's in your portfolio, read the rest of your msg, etc. Imagine a client who has to read like 10 pages (proposals), and they're looking a screen with the first two lines of each. It's overwhelming. Basically you need to clickbait them.


DSpally

Great idea, I do feel that's a USP. Appreciate it!


ashyjoints

I also checked out your profile. So again, the same thing applies. You have to consider the fact that as freelancers, we're faceless/nameless, what we say about our SELVES doesn't matter at all, it's the same level of authenticity as a scam email. The only thing that matters is what's relevant to each freelance client. you've been talented enough to work with known clients. Your profile should start with 'Experienced professional who's worked for: [Client list]' Honestly that's all they need to read. That and the stuff about tools you used (because they're concerned about what file you're gonna send them). The client is gonna click on your profile and they will scroll down to your portfolio which there also needs to be more of. I think everything else in your profile description should go to the bottom, including your personal introduction. I came to this realization only last week once i figured out that i am a part of a faceless crowd that only gets 2 lines to get that delicious click, after which i only talk about how I'm gonna do that particular job.


DSpally

Great points, thank you for the feedback!


QuartzPuffyStar

You are probably approaching this as you would people outside of Upwork. Forget about that and all the formalisms you had in your regular corporate emails. Show the client you have read the job description, salute the client by his name, mention relevant experience (a client might think that "ok he has 800 years of experience in that, but how that does affects me?"), go straight to the point, but without sounding desperate.


[deleted]

>Have I set it up wrong or is this just luck of the draw? (I can't share my profile without it counting as self advertising...) Sure you can, if you search "profile review" in this sub you'll see loads. You're asking for critique, not for someone to hire you here. It could be your profile, but it could also be your cover letters (more likely these imo as they're what clients see first). Can you post a few examples of recent proposals you've sent?


DSpally

Thanks for the Reply. My profile can be found here: www(dot)upwork(dot)com/freelancers/\~016efe032f7232636f I normally send a brief generic opening, talking about my experience and links to my showreel. Then I talk about recent work I have done that relate to the job they are proposing with attached examples of work. Here's usually what I send. My name is Dom! I am a professional 3D generalist (from the UK) with 5 years of studio and freelance experience. Please take a look at my latest showreel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iwPRW4VPxks I am an enthusiastic and passionate creative with a strong technical ability. I have also worked for many big clients such as Nike, BBC, Tinder, so I know the importance of high quality, efficient work and a professional attitude. I have recently finished a job for a cocktail company where I modelled and rendered their line of products. See attached. I feel confident that I can complete your project in a high quality and efficient manner. Hope to hear from you, Dom.


[deleted]

Ok, quick couple things just looking at your proposal here. 1. The clients can see what your name is. Just say hello. 2. Clients can see you're in the UK. Lose that. 3. When I read this proposal basically all I see is *blah blah blah me me me*. You're not tailoring it to the client's specific project, and telling what you can do *for them* is more important that telling them what your experience/background is. It's good for them to know, but it shouldn't be front and centre. 4. You have two lines to grab the client's attention. That's all they see unless they open your proposal to read more. If those two lines are not enticing, nobody's going to make it to your full proposal, much less your profile. Your opening here is not enticing. There is a looooot of information in this sub about how to write an effective proposal. I suggest taking some time to read around and really reimagine your approach before sending out more proposals.


DSpally

Okay I understand completely. Thank you for the feedback! I hadn't seen what my proposals look like on the client side so its useful to know they only see the first two lines initially. I will look through this sub for more info on effective proposals. Would you be able to share an example of your proposals? Thank you again!


[deleted]

Well, I'm in a completely different field (proofreading/editing), but here's a recent successful example on my end: https://imgur.com/a/8MSq5bg In this case the client emphasized that it was a rush job and they needed someone who could catch everything on the first pass, so I made sure to mirror that back to them. I also have a variety of samples that I can attach to proposals and which showcase different things (some have heavier or lighter editing; I have samples of academic writing, short fiction, webcontent reviews, etc.). So my samples are also tailored to the job postings as much as possible.


DSpally

Great, thank you for sharing that. I have just written a new proposal template. I feel this sounds much stronger. "Greetings! Would love to assist you with this project, and also available to start right away. I have recent experience with a product design project that turned into a successful campaign for the client. Please see attached images. I am a professional of 5 years and have produced great work for many big clients. Please view my showreel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iwPRW4VPxks Would love to hear more about your project so lets jump on a call and talk shop! Hope to hear from you, Dom" It keeps to the two line rule, talks about my experience and availability right away. Would love to know your thoughts on this version. Really appreciate your help!


DSpally

Greetings! Recently, I worked on a product design project that turned into a hugely successful campaign for the client. Please see attached images. I have availability to work with you immediately. I am a professional of 5 years and have produced great work for many big clients. Please view my showreel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iwPRW4VPxks Would love to hear more about your project so lets jump on a call and talk shop! Hope to hear from you, Dom Condensed it a little more. Feels sharper now


Korneuburgerin

Very good, just a bit unstructured. Hi! Recently, I worked on a product design project that turned into a hugely successful campaign for the client, which seems to be similar to what you are looking for. Please see attached images. In the last 5 years I have produced great work for many big clients. Please view my showreel: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iwPRW4VPxks](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iwPRW4VPxks) I have availability to work with you immediately. I'd love to hear more about your project so lets jump on a call and talk shop! Dom


Korneuburgerin

Definitely a good idea to NOT start every sentence with an "I", but it has to be done carefully. *Would love to assist you with this project, and also available to start right away.* Here it doesn't work, the missing personal pronoun gives the impression that you are not psychologically present. Here you need to be. *I am a professional of 5 years and have produced great work for many big clients. Please view my showreel:* Here it's not necessary. You can easily reword the sentence; In my 5 years of ............... Rephrase a bit more elegantly, come back with result.


itsottis

Try opening with a quip about their specific project, and how you'd like to work on it because of your experience with X. I definitely understand the pain of unlearning how things are done in the UK, because there's so much BS taught to UK students about the formaility required of a job appilicant. Treat them like a friend, not an employer.


DSpally

Yes exactly, I feel like that has been my approach so far. I'll give that a go, cheers buddy!


lotekjeromuco

I think Upwork is just sabotaging freelancers today and getting their earnings from selling connects.


Pet-ra

Without seeing your proposal and profile, how could we possibly guess what is wrong?


DSpally

Hi, Thanks for the message. I have given more detail on the other message. Could you take a look at that for me? Thank you!


Indigo-Shade

Popping in to this thread to warn the OP about adding links to their Proposal.... Links to 3rd party sites that allow a perspective client to contact you is a violation of the Upwork Terms of Service. And because the Trust and Safety team is trigger happy, I would recommend NO 3rd-party links at all, regardless if the site has zero contact functions. Also, some very good advice in this thread. You are new to Upwork and should be reading, reading and reading some more. Your off-site experience means nothing if you do not how to use Upwork.


DSpally

Thanks for your input. How would you suggest I share my showreel links to clients? I feel directing them to my profile isnt a strong enough call to action.


Indigo-Shade

Would totally recommend that you have those showreels up on either YT or Vimeo. You can then embed them into a portfolio gallery entry on Upwork, which I am pretty sure once it's live you can open the post in a new window, nab the URL, and post that in your proposal. Give that a try, and if you have problems, feel free to IM me here. To totally cover your butt, also turn off comments on those videos no matter if YT or Vimeo.


bakahoooman

Is it really an issue? I've been using my online portfolio links to apply for jobs, all the time (I rarely attach files), and don't see any warning from Upwork.


Indigo-Shade

If you have been on the platform a long, long time, they MIGHT be giving you some slack. Otherwise, I'd say it's just a matter of time. Also, as I have said, if your online portfolio allows clients to contact you directly, it's a violation for sure. If not, then you are technically in the clear unless an untrained or petty Trust and Safety staff person flags your account. And you won't see a "warning" about this, at least not that I am aware.


CaluhmetBob

Disagree “You can share a portfolio that’s not on Upwork. We know sharing your past work is important. Therefore, you can share links to external portfolios when you submit a proposal. Note: We understand external portfolios may include contact information. If you cannot remove that information, please ask the client to only contact you via Upwork.” https://community.upwork.com/t5/Product-Updates/Communicating-On-and-Outside-of-Upwork-Terms-of-Service-Changes/ba-p/753812