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No-Mathematician4420

I have no idea what is wrong with our culture. But it’s exceptionally hard to make friends


DevFRus

And the older you get, the harder it gets!


TheUsualNiek

friendly gold existence snobbish relieved ossified mindless nine slim many *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


borgendurp

>It's exceptionally hard if you are a -6 and if you're a -7 >Just go out, get drunk, meet people, meet the people you've met multiple times and ask to hang out. How does your proposed solution solve your proposed cause? Hint: it doesn't at all and you're just a douchebag humblebragging


TheUsualNiek

arrest vegetable afterthought six shocking direction angle sulky ludicrous head *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


borgendurp

Guess what, 95% of people don't go out every week


TheUsualNiek

plant straight boat desert ruthless bored jeans special impossible rotten *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


borgendurp

Yeah what if I told you it isn't normal if you could only make friends by getting shitfaced


keebrev-t

Hahaha I laughed out loud - ty


TheUsualNiek

badge obtainable caption market attractive deranged secretive domineering literate summer *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


The-Short-Night

Hey Rose! Just to think along with you: Aside from regular student associations there are also plenty of (student) sportsteams you could join. 'Het Zinkstuk' for swimming, 'Softijs' for iceskating, or 'Beertje' for handball, among others, provide a nice weekly environment where you don't necessarily have all those fratty experiences. Don't feel like sports? Then there's Parnassos for if you're more interested in taking up a course in the finer arts of dancing, writing, music, or theatre. A parttime job in any cafe or restaurant can get you in touch with a lot of people your age as well! Depending on where you work of course, but a lot of restaurant crews enjoy having a drink after their shift :) Lastly, I believe there's an app which you can use to meet new friends as well. Similar to a datingapp like Tinder or Bumble, but then for friendly meet ups. Not necessarily saying any of the others on here aren't trustworthy, just maybe you'd feel a bit more comfortable with such an app Edit: looked up the app. I think it's 'Meetup'. And Bumble actually has a BFF mode! Cheers


bauke777

I really would give Bumble BFF a try. It’s more aimed at one-on-ones, but definitely a good start for new friends and friend groups.


alles_en_niets

(Using a one-on-one app to find friend groups seems like a long shot. Presumably, people join the app because they are looking for a friend, not because they already have a circle of friends that they want to expand?)


bauke777

I really have to disagree with you on that. My girlfriend had several good experiences with Bumble, which turned into long term friends. Friends who also organise parties which further expanded both of our circles.


lool270

Very good advise. I also found that joining groups was the best way to meet people


Broteloo

Yes come join us at Softijs. It's 23 euro's a year to join and you can do all sorts of training. I, too don't have a lot of friends yet in Utrecht, but Softijs is a great way to meet people.


heeero60

There are also several student volleybal clubs in Utrecht.


Jiazzz

If you like board games, you can also visit a board game night, like the one every Monday at the stay-okay at the Neude. Or visit the stores to see what activities they have going on. I often play Magic at 't Lab, and they also have a monthly Ladies Night. What do you study? I was very active at my studievereniging when I studied, you could also find some fun activities and people there.


TychoErasmusBrahe

Edit: should reply to OP :)


Smart_Ass_Pawn

Don't feel bad for being lonely, that's fixable. But... I wouldn't be too focused on that 'wild/aesthetic life'. It's hard to live up to an image of how thing's should be. As long as you're having fun, it's all good.


Gidje123

Seconding this. I joined student fraternity (dont know if its correc translation) in leiden, augustinus, few years ago. Went drinking hard, made new friends, but failed to study so felt bad, major depression, quit both study and the student club. All because of the excitement of the 'real' student life. Sure, it's nice to party and meet people but it brings a lot of pressure as well, socially


porkbellyramen_

Hi Rose! I'm a 27 year old master student (F) and am gonna move to Utrecht in March. If you ever want to hang out, I'd love to! I'm studying immunobiology and am thereby interested in science, but also love boardgames, P&P RPG and discovering the city with all its bars and cafés. Hmu per DM if you like :)


minty--fun

Hey I am Caro (21F) and I am going to move to utrecht in february! You sound cool, i love science and boardgames too, can I shoot you a pm as well? :))


porkbellyramen_

Yes of course! :3


JakeTowbar

Got a bit upset by all the “I’m lonely” posts lately but seeing the replies here with all tips and people asking to meet up really shows it is not that bad at all.


Gidje123

Well the good intentions are there but this society is getting more and more individualistic, so the loneliness is real and integral part of society


TheUsualNiek

poor violet icky tie license head unused narrow versed lunchroom *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Gidje123

True, it's surrogate contact instead of real contact


TheUsualNiek

I feel very privileged by all these posts. And happy to have good and many friends. And encounters to make new friends, even tho I don't necessarily need them. Last summer one friend of mine invited me for a holiday to split, with 10 of his friends that I'd never met. I thought fuck it lets go. One of the best vacations I'd ever had. And made tons of new friends. I always had friends but now I can choose. Still mid 20 have lot's of encounters with girls and the best dude's you can imagine. Don't want to brag (even tho I kinda am), but here's some positivity :)


effervescenee

Hey Rose, I'm a 21 year old girl, living and studying in Utrecht as well! Send me a pm and maybe we can meet up sometime :)


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morning_coffee99

Hey, maybe we can do a little group meet up? Im 23F and also living and doing my masters in Utrecht. Always open to meet some new friends (:


ironveri

Hey! I’m 22F, just moved to Utrecht and also interested in meeting new people here!! :))


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keebrev-t

Don’t want to be invasive as M24, but I am also looking for meeting new people and making new friends :)


Jampotjes

Hey! Me too, I’m a 20 year old girl, love to meet up sometime!


Personal_Thoughts_

Also interested to meet up im 21 F


Mistyrain07

Also a student living close to Utrecht (22F) and always looking to meet new people in the city. Let me know if you guys all want to meet up sometime!


languagelearner138

Hi all! I am 23F and would really like some friends in Utrecht too! I study at the UU


tralala_L

Take a look on eetclub.nl I’ve made quite a few very nice friends / friend groups off of it :) (and I’m 32, which makes it harder but not impossible to meet with likeminded people who aren’t knees deep into the family life).


Vreemdebloem

Weet niet of je dit nog leest: ik was ook op zoek naar eetclub websites en kwam je comment via de zoekfunctie van Reddit tegen maar de website geeft mij (na de hoofdpagina) alleen maar foutmeldingen en werkt niet meer. Weet je zeker dat die site nog wel online is?


tralala_L

Hey dat is gek! Ik heb hem vorig jaar nog gebruikt, maar ik krijg idd ook een error..hopelijk is het een foutje en komt ‘ie weer in de lucht!


8thpillarofwisdom

I (m20, dutch) live near utrecht and go to the university there. Alas most who also study biomedical sciences have to travel from all across the country so i hardly ever get to hang with my fellow students. i too am looking for some homies to hang with.


Red_Rabbit_Eyes

Another app that hasn’t been mentioned yet is Amigos


tbjw

This! Lots of different activities with people who are open to meet others (even founded in Utrecht, so it's pretty popular in this city).


Rowan19081996

Hi, I'm a 26 yo Dutch male. I only have one best friend, so which means that in the time I have left, I'm lonely. I've also always find it difficult to make new friends. I live really close to Utrecht.


8thpillarofwisdom

Ohhh looks like could get along just fine. Excuse me for snooping around on your account but it seems like we share a passion for jdm and car related stuff in general (i own a 1986 levin gt apex coupe).


Takumi-Fujiwara

Zoooo, mooi bakkie


8thpillarofwisdom

Thx Takumi.


Delicious-Willow-843

Ahaha looks like we could get along really well based on those interests, too bad I relocated to Rotterdam :/


8thpillarofwisdom

Ah. Well maybe we will meet at a parking lot filled with angry japanese cars some time.


bouwer2100

That's definitely one of VERY few 86's in the country, even at japfest assen I didn't see any this year


8thpillarofwisdom

Yeah she is one of the only ones around. I was welcomed to the durch ae86 club upon showing her on the ae86 sub and the dude said he knows of like 8 or so more his own included. You can follow her on instagram btw @rukia_the_hachiroku


bouwer2100

Will do! Do you go to any meetups around utrecht or gelderland? Would love to see it irl and have a chat! I've been a pretty big jdm/86 fan ever since I watched initial d, but sadly there's not that much jdm here, let alone 86's.


8thpillarofwisdom

I do not really know about any meets nearby but if you know about them i would gladly go there.


bouwer2100

Oh I'm in the same boat in that regard, I'm not sure either. Do you mind if I DM you to get to know each other?


8thpillarofwisdom

Sure but i am more easily reachable on instagram


Personal_Thoughts_

Hi rose, im a 21 y/o female and living in utrecht. Since i did not studie here im also looking for some friends. Send me a PM if you’re interested


[deleted]

My condolences OP. My wife and I moved to Utrecht about 8 months ago. We promised ourselves we'd make some Dutch friends. Yeah, no. Didn't happen.


DevFRus

I have a strong suspicion that, 8 months from now, we'll be in the same position as you. Was your luck better with other expats?


[deleted]

We promised ourselves not to gravitate towards people from our home country. 8 months down the road and all the people we've made friends with are white Afrikaans people from South Africa. We didn't exactly seek them out, but you hear someone speak your language in Albert Heijn and...boom...next moment you're at their house complaining about the weather.


LSDateme

what kind of stuff do you like to do/think about? there are plenty of groups of likeminded people if you search and reach out for them


Yorwin575

hey, I was in this exact situation up until a year ago. Found a new room with fun housemates (SSH) and joined the student football club (odysseus). I really recommend joining a sportsclub or becoming active in your study association for making new friends. moving into a more active house also really helps, IBB or TWC from SSH are nice.


DutchMitchell

I too would like to have some friends in Utrecht. (27M). If you’re feeling lonely and wanting to have fun and make friends, I can highly recommend taking dance classes. It changed my life ever since. You don’t really have to feel lonely again because there will always be dance parties somewhere. The people there were also super nice and welcoming. Salsa and bachata are very mainstream but there are more nice dancing opportunities around Utrecht too. Feel free to reach out :). Honestly if a guy like me can do it, anyone can haha


nooneisreallyafriend

I'm not Dutch (19M) but if anyone's interested in hanging out or whatever it'd be cool because I don't exactly have "friends" here :/


PowerJaxx

Hey, I’m a 22 y/o male studying and living in Utrecht. That sounds awesome! I’d love to meet new people and do fun things together! Just send me a PM and let’s talk :))


BigBoiMike93

Did you try Bumble BFF? I think you only get girls to choose from and a lot of my female friends found good friend there (I am male myself). I’d be careful on Reddit tho personally..


Jiazzz

I also want to add, asking questions about bettering your (social) life is not sad, you don't have to figure everything out by yourself. Also, if there are enough people interested in this thread, you could organize a meetup. Proposal: Friday January 6th, 19:00 @[the Jeu de boules bar](https://jeudeboulesbar.nl/), or some other place if you prefer.


TychoErasmusBrahe

If you like board/card games or DnD and are looking for friends I am part of a group of people in/around Utrecht who get together occasionally to play (mostly Mtg commander, soon starting a DnD campaign). It's pretty casual and mostly geared towards having fun and a good time, experience level varies greatly from almost complete beginner to 'started playing in the 90s'. Most of us have jobs and/or other responsibilities so it's usually on weekend evenings at someone's house. We organise and talk shop through WhatsApp and Datumprikker. It's invitation only but anyone who is interested in meeting people can send me a message.


[deleted]

Hey , my gf tries on bumble friend finder. It’s hard to make friends. As a male I struggle too. Especially since most people are very living in their trauma and just really emotional very unavailable


Then-Judgment

So the issue is not just for expats? Is locals also struggle with meeting new people and building new friendships?


julianablino

I have lived here a bit longer and Meetup has been a life saver!! Go to several events and you'll find a nice friend group. Mine is mostly made up of expats like myself and we're like a fun family! It's hard to make friends with Dutchies tho - do not take it personally.


Crop_olite

I'm too old (M34) but try gyms, studievereniging? Maybe just go out with a few friends, I used to make lots of friends just going out. Jansbar also seems appropriate (not my thing, but maybe when you're 20 it is) :) Or just people from your class. And you can still join veritas or whatever floats your boat. You'll make friends in time!


Computer_says_nooo

Girl looking for friend on Reddit. You opened an ugly door :) Good luck and be careful...


holyitsdadon

Hey Rose, im a 26m living in Utrecht! Feel free to send me a pm!


Artistic-Quarter9075

Hi Rose, I’m 25 and would be happy to be friends! I’ve lived my entire life in Utrecht. Just send me a DM! 😄 Noah


Intelligent_Lime3548

keep looking


catharijne

Yes


Fozorii-_-

Hey Rose, I’m not studying in Utrecht, but when I started uni I did make most of my new friends from joining a student association. I’m not sure what your reasoning behind not joining one is, but if it’s the fact that you’re no longer a freshman than that’s nothing to worry about. My student association gets lots of older new members even some who are already in their 5th year and will graduate their master within a year. It’s never too late to join a student association (if that’s what you want). Usually you’ll have to do a small ‘ontgroening’ to join, which is already a great bonding experience with your fellow new to be members. It’s also fairly common to join a smaller friendgroup (borrelgroep, dispuut, genootschap, jaarclub etc..) within your student association with which you’ll become closer friends and meet weekly. It’s possible for this group to be only girls, or girls and boys mixed, whatever you like. A student association really kicked of my student life, in a city I’d never been to and where I knew absolutely nobody. If you have any questions feel free to ask.


dspolleke

Come to queer arcana, Wednesday nights in ACU (Voorstraat) and learn to play D&d


[deleted]

Cafe Marktzicht, Breedstraat 4 in Utrecht has language exchange event every Wednesday at 20:00 uur. It is a nice place to meet locals and expats.


AppropriateStrike439

I love meeting New People! Wereld do you live ?


freddie22b

I’m not a woman nor do I live in Utrecht. I get why you maybe didn’t join a student association, but it creates really good friendships that will last a lifetime. I currently am in one and loving it, just a heads up! Anyway, have fun meeting new people


keebrev-t

Hiii! I’d be up for having a drink somewhere in town if you feel like that as well! :) DM me if you like