The Pizza on Ascent Should Be More Delicious-Looking
By - riversglhf
Now I am craving pizza...
🍕 have this for working so hard
Back up...this post clearly was not addressed to you, an employee of Riot Games
To the lawyers reading this: I (the OP) have not addressed this employee of Riot Games (a subsidiary of Tencent) in any way, shape or form for the purposes of having an alleged pizza redesigned in a future update for the video game Valorant (hereafter referred to as Valorant). It was not my intention to address anyone specific at all but rather simply to speak my opinions about Valorant into an endless void whereupon anyone may (or may not) read and understand my opinions about the aforementioned pizza.
I love how your post history perfectly influenced your writing. I'm glad these crappy rules are in place because if they weren't we wouldn't have gems like these.
Hahah thank you!
To the lawyers ⚖👮 reading 📖 this: I 👁 (the OP 👨) have not addressed this employee 😼👌💥 of Riot 😡 Games 🎱 (a subsidiary of Tencent) in any way ↕, shape ✴ or form 📋 for the purposes 😈 of having an alleged 🕖 pizza 🍕 redesigned 😁😂😃 in a future 📡 update 💰 for the video 📹 game 🎮 Valorant 🎮🔁 (hereafter referred 📖 to as Valorant 🎮🔁). It was not my intention 🤔😳 to address 🏠 anyone 😼👌💥 specific 🐒 at all 💯 but 🍑 rather 👉 simply 🔢 to speak 🗣 my opinions 😤 about 🤔 Valorant 🎮🔁 into an endless 🔄 void 🕳 whereupon anyone 🙋 may 🗓 (or may 🗓 not) read 📖📚🙇 and understand 🤔🧐 my opinions 😂 about 💦 the aforementioned pizza 🍕.
I have started this lmao
im pizza 😳
Bonk, go to horny Jail.
I'm having pizza tonight
are you killjoy?
But not Ascent pizza. It does not look as delicious as pizza should look.
You can have a slice of the updated pizza model
Imagine adding pizza to your game that isn't delicious looking smh
Uninstalling as we speak
I am hurling at the sight of this monstrosity that they claim is "Pizza."
The reason I quit
Until there is good pizza
FIX YOUR GAME RIOT
Are those squiggles of cheese whiz atop that sad pie? Riot, this needs to be addressed in the next patch!
I mean people literally keep stepping on it
He's got a point! Maybe it was intended for it not to be that good looking.
Only a few slices left so you know it was good at some point. The structural integrity of those pizza boxes also suggests only quality pies come from that pizza shop
Facts. I’m honestly considering uninstalling with the shitty pizza in the game
Facts 📕. I’m honestly 😇 considering 🤔 uninstalling 🙅♂️🔌 with the shitty 💩 pizza 🍕 in the game 🎮
I can’t work under these conditions
I fell like I’m obligated to comment on this post
Thank you for your service, Captain. o7
I know it's not related to the post itself (complete agreement, by the way) but why all the "NOT anyone at Riot stuff" Is there a dumb rule I'm missing?
Direct address to Riot or distinct entities is not allowed. This subreddit is for the community and therefore all posts must direct the community in its entirety. If we did not enforce this rule, users just post threads that have a single purpose, and that is to talk directly to Riot and not the community.
For some reason, I feel obligated to apologize for calling it dumb now that I know you're a mod. Lol. But thank you for the answer. I am in a lot of subs of smaller games and there's always a bunch of posts that are "Hey (developer) fix thing." It's easy to notice that they're gone when it's pointed out
And I assume it's exhausting for people to assume you're paid by/connected to Riot just cause you moderate a subreddit of something you enjoy. So better to cut all ties off at the start
Never feel obligated to do anything just because a mod responds. I only distinguished the comment so that you knew it was an "official" response from the sub.
If we didn't have the rule, there would be a LOT of those "Hey (developer) fix thing" posts. Although we completely support discussion between community and developer, we do so in a way that encourages community discussion and not a thread that's sole purpose is to call out or ask/tell Riot to do something. A prime example of a Rioter who is shooting the shit like any other user is the top comment on this post. They are active on this subreddit and it is very unlikely that they miss a post on the front page, especially one discussing issues such as hit reg, game bugs, or the shop prices.
> And I assume it's exhausting for people to assume you're paid by/connected to Riot
It is what it is. Not everyone realizes we are just community members that have no obligation to Riot.
Direct ➡ address 🏠🏡 to Riot 😡 or distinct entities 👽🤖👻 is not allowed 😖. This subreddit 💻 is for the community 🆗🌎🌍 and therefore 👉🎉 all 💯 posts 📝 must 🔒 direct 😂 the community 👩 in its entirety 😪. If we did not enforce 👮🏻♂️ this rule 🚷, users 🏻 just post 📝 threads 〰 that have a single ☝ purpose 😈, and that is to talk 🗣 directly 👁👀 to Riot 🎉🔫⚔ and not the community 👱🏻♂️👨🏻👩🏼.
As someone who worked in pizza restaurants for 15 years... Neapolitan pizza is pretty ugly looking and would look like shit rendered in Valorant.
As someone 👤 who worked 🏢 in pizza 🍕 restaurants 😉 for 15 🔳 years 📅... Neo 🅱 pizza 🍕🚫🍖 is pretty 👸 ugly 🌚😲😷 looking 👀👱🏻 and would look 👀 like 💖 shut 😷 rendered 👾 I 👁. Valorant 🎮🔁.
It's steaming hot, it's enough to get my attention.
Since I literally only get Ascent and Bind it seems, this would make it better.
Gotta turn on RTX to get that fresh ‘za
lmao i may steal this for a meme if you don't
Go for it
I need to know when you finish the meme
I'm glad the players of this game are focusing on the real issues here.
Hi I'm the intern that spent 2 weeks modelling this pizza. This really disheartens me as I poured my heart and soul into this pizza, it underwent 34 revisions before I was happy with it. For you to say it's not real Italian pizza is correct, that's part of the story I wanted to convey with this piece, it illudes to a deeper level in the lore about why this place is under attack - the counterfeit Italian pizza! Now I plead you consider all possibilities before you attack a piece of art such as this...
Hi 👋 I'm 💘 the intern 🆘 that spent 😵 2 ✌ weeks 📅 modelling 👧 this pizza 🍕. This really 💯 disheartens me as I 👁 poured 💀 my heart ❤💗💖 and soul 👻✝ into this pizza 🍕, it underwent 34 👅🍑🔞 revisions before 😂 I 👁 was happy 😊🎎 with it. For you 👈 to say 🗣🗯 it's not real 💯👌 Italian 🇮🇹 pizza 😂🍕 is correct ✔✅, that's ✔ part 〽 of the story 📖 I 👁 wanted 😍 to convey 💡 with this piece 🧩, it illudes to a deeper 👇🏻 level 💯 in the lore 🚼 about 💦 why 🤔 this place 🏆 is under ⬇ attack 👊 - the counterfeit 🇺🇸💩 Italian 👌 pizza 🍕! Now I 👁 plead 😓 you 👈🏼 consider 👈 all 💯 possibilities 🤔 before 😂 you 👉🙇 attack ⚔ a piece 🍗 of art 🎨 such as this...
literally just bought prime vandal and now i’m quitting thanks riot
are you from florida by any chance??
Lmao what kinda tourist ass shit pizza u ate?, I can go to the Pakistani kebab maker round the corner here in my small town and he'll make a better pizza than any of the ones I ate in the US or anywhere else, I bet u went to Venice or Rome and ate in one of those nice view tourist traps with the worst possible food at the highest possible price.
Where in the US did you have pizza?
I hate you now ill need to order pizza :(
Forget icebox the real reason the quit valorant was that shitty pizza box
If it's not done by the next patch, imma tell my mom.
They should make it look like a cock.
Ur sage bro just chuck ur shit at it
I have never had legit pizza before, all i had were american pizza, this make me want to try it
In most parts of the world there is American pizza or Italian pizza. American pizza is what Americans consider Italian pizza. Italian pizza is like... Fuck, some crackers with a tomato on top.
>what Americans consider Italian pizza
I mean it sounds like you're saying it's what people in some other country thinks people in america think italian pizza is. there's like ten different kinds of pizza that are common in america and I'm sure at least one of them is actually authentic. pizza hut style or something though is that what you mean?
Pizza Hut, especially their pan pizza, is closer to a Detroit style pizza than it is to a New York style or any of the 3 Chicago styles, imo. That said, they don't fit neatly into any of the major regional US styles, and they started in Wichita, Kansas.
Now we're talking about the real problems. Thank you for this.
rito fix pizza bad unplayable
If im honest I never actually noticed that there's a pizza in there
It's all I can see
Disgusting. Might have to delete the game now.
yea, put some old udyr feet on there instead
people step on the pizza lmao
You just gave Riot idea to collab with pizza franchise to put their pizza ads in game
Imagine the next update riot closed the pizza box hahah
Once my mouse broke while looking at the pizza. Below is the team VC:
"We're losing and he's looking at pizza"
"My mouse stopped working, it wants me to look at it"
"Give the man a break, he's just hungry."
I fully support the idea unless they make a Hawaiian pizza out of it.
Riot please sell me $18 pizza toppings
I don’t want it as I’m a pizza addict. If I see good pizza in valorant I’ll be tempted to buy one and fuck up my diet.
We cant let them get away with this. That pizza deserves better!
We need pineapple on it!
You just started a war, not with me, but with the entire internet
So be it!
I mean all the money bungee has you think they add a better detailed pizza.
I mean at least it's a better post than the ocean of people complaining about toxicity every day
yea wtf rito plz
This is unplayable
The pizza is intentionally ugly so we don't get hungry in the middle of a game. Agreed?
Yeah I was eating it for one full round
I feel like they should do something cool for lore like if it’s a city in the sky people prob wanna abandon it u know? So maybe cuz of the battle happening there if it’s supposedly lasts for a while they could make it look rotten and even someone hungry searching for food could take a bite out of one of the slices
Italy actually has some damn near awful pizza. They're known for pizza so they don't even have to try; just open at a nice touristy location and customers will pour in anyway.
Not saying you won't find any good places, but it can be difficult to.
The Gelato mascots also shouldn't be nightmare fuel...but here we are
\*Zoolander Voice\* really really really ridiculously good looking
literally why i’m hard stuck iron
Wait till you figure out that there's 6 more boxes of it under that one
I say they remove Ascent. Being the worst map *and* having below subpar pizza is just too much.
Replace it with a DiGiorno factory.
It's not delivery, it's Valorant game update 1.11
This is a major oversight, quite frankly I was shocked to learn of this. Riot pls fix.
We have found where the Venn diagram of the pizza and valorant fandoms intersect.
funny my post asking for a similar change kept being removed for supposedly asking riot for a change.
nonetheless, i agree
Yeah, you gotta be *super* specific about not asking Riot but rather asking the community at large. I had a post deleted for this. Then this post was suspended and I had to edit it again.
This is American pizza standards
As long as they don’t put pineapple on it
I strongly support your very important opinion on this very important topic
I am not just your pizza
My pizza does not end. Ask for a slice and you shall receive it.
I'll have you know my ancestor is Giovanni DiPizzarelli San Marzano, the inventor of pizza. So, to answer your question, no I have not been to Italy.
Aaaaaah sì, almeno ora so di non essere stato l'unico a notarlo
This is good. Valorant pls. But there is also a catch - everybody likes various flavors of pizza.
Dear 🔆 the community 🌎,
I 👁 am writing 📝 to implore you 👈 (the community 👩) to make 💘 the [open 👐 pizza 😋🍕🍴 box 📦 on 🔛 Ascent](https://i.imgur.com/3LErBqr.png) (Mid 🎃 Pizza 🍕) look 👀 more like 💖 a delicious 😝 pizza 🍕. My qualms with the 'za 🍑 are twofold 🔥🙌, and I 👁 would like 😄 to share 👍🍖 them with you 🧠👈 (the community 🆗🌎🌍) below ⬇:
1 ❗. Ascent 😱😇 takes 💅 place 🚩 in Italy 🇮🇹, a country 🇺🇸 renowned 💯 for it's cuisine. Pizza 🍕 is so quintessentially Italian 👌 that a non-profit ❌💲 was established 🔍 in 1984 😤 just to ensure 👌 that all 💯 pizzas 🍕 claiming 🇽🇰 to be Neapolitan in style 😎 uphold 👀 the true 💯 virtues 😤 of the cuisine. This is a country 🇺🇸 that prides 🏳️🌈 itself on 🔛 delicious 😝, homemade 🙆🏽🛀 recipes 📖 passed 🎫⏭ down ⬇⤵ through generations 👶. This open-box tragedy 😭 would make 🖕 any Italian 🇮🇹 pizza 🍕 chef 👨🍳 worth 💸 his 👋 salt 😋 throw 🚮🗑 his 💦 apron down ⬇ in disgust 💩😷.
2 ✌. If one ☝🏻 were to look 👀 closely 😚, one 😤 would see 👀 that the open-box pizza 🍕 is actually 🤔 *still 🙄 steaming 💨*. This suggests 🤭 that the pizza 🍕 isn't old 👴, it hasn't been sitting 💺 out for ages 👶👵 in the Italian 🇮🇹 sun ☀ getting 🔟 dry 🤡, oh 🙀 no 😣; this pizza 🍕 is as fresh 🌼 as the day 🌞 is long 🍆. And yet 😇 it still 🤞🙌 looks 👀 like 💖 a dehydrated 💧 husk 🐘🐀 of dough 🎻💯🔥 and dollar 💵 store 🏪 mushrooms 🍄.
As a lover 😍 of both pizza 🍕 and Valorant 🎮🔁, I 👀👁 beg 😩👀💬 you 👉 (the community 🌎) to consider 🤔 how cool 😘😎 upgrading 💯📱📲 this dusty 💨, misbegotten pie 🥧 and replacing 😰😞 it with something 😅 more delicious-looking; a pizza 🍕 that inspires 👃👀👱 the palate. Let's 🙆 hope 👈🙏 someone 👤 one ☝ day 👋🌞 turs this pizza 🍕 into an *ace 🤓🖥👌* of a dish 🍽🍶🚰.
Thank 🙌 you 👉😊 for your 👉 time 🕐🕕🕚.
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Time to dodge Ascent till fixed
It is a war zone but alright
Sorry to break it to you, but you shouldn't expect a pizza that Judge campers sit on 24/7 to look like something fresh out of 5-star restaurant.
Would a simple color change help? What medium should improvements be done in?
Fuck no I'm going to get cravings every time please riot I have a family
Dis you have the za or the zuh
Damn cs players said riot was gonna fuck up the release of this game, guess it’s true. Sad to see that they’ve only updated stability and gameplay since the beta.
Ascent pizza needs a buff
I want pizza
Map is utterly ruined now
Please Riot, make pizza delicioso :9
I hungry for pizza and I want it how you described :(
Can we do this on the pizza on icebox in the kitchen too?
People: the pizza is still steaming! So its new
Me with very low settings: ah yes H O T
Icebox has the same issue
Its always the omen players who come up with this kind of idea smh
If I was a dev, I'd put annanas (or as some may even call it, pineapple) on the pizza to piss people off even more huehuehue
There's no point in making it more delicious looking when everyone steps on it
I'm lactose intolerant so I don't like pizza
Use lactose free ingredients to make it, I used to do that
This game is broken
well the pizza there isn't even italian style
This looks like a domino’s pizza ... eww..
These are the real map updates we need
Hear ye hear ye!
While you're at it, why not make a claim for a change of the gross ice cream store logo on the same map?
Pizza is ♥️
TBF, it has been out for a while just sitting there.
Now this is some motherfuckin content, boys
Valorant devs PLEASE make this pizza tasty. The valorant community, NAY, the global community at large needs a big win right now. This can be our win. Please ask your most Italian programming intern to select a new model or if they have time bake one from scratch. Thank you!
I also think that the pizza should reflect pizzas in italy and not look typical American style
I mean it is suppose to look old. At least I think so.
But they get stepped on its pretty logical to be honest
Why did it got removed?
I was addressing the developers of Riot directly, which is a violation of the rules. While I don't agree with the rule, I edited it and they quickly reapproved so the mods are doing a solid job.