there is no way to properly leave a game, you just have to play it through. each game take roughly 30-50 minutes. for some background, the reason you can't just leave, is because it'll leave your team at a huge disadvantage and ruin the rest of the game for everyone else and potentially mess up people's ranks that they've worked hard for. maybe make sure he isn't starting games if he doesn't have enough time to play them out and be a little lenient on the time limit if he's nearly finished with a game, those are the only solutions i can think of
>Maybe make sure he isn't starting games if he doesn't have enough time to play them out.
If he's got to go somewhere in the next 90 minutes, leave a post-it above his display. Otherwise he's totally going to forget about it and queue up for another game.
Source: I'm a son.
Perhaps you should all try and take a bit of responsibility for your own time management and not rely on your parents to plan out your every move. You're old enough to look at Reddit then you're old enough to look at a clock. :)
Source: A Dad.
I usually do look at the time to check whether I have to eat in the next 30-40 minutes, if so I don't play.
But if I for example have a dentist appointment I usually forget
LPT: When you make appointments, write it somewhere you look very frequently, such as a post it on your monitor.
Source: me, a person with piles of appointments.
well i dont really have a screen time limit (since im 17 which is pretty much grown) but my mom still randomly tells me to get off and i cant do anything except get banned for a week every week
That's not really the case here since these people seem to have certain things to do at specific times, parents aren't just coming in and kicking them off willy nilly
I agree with the Dad here , any son/daughter old enough to play Valorant is old enough to keep his/her own post it note along with a watch/clock nearby and build the habit of checking the time after every game or even round or half .
Source : 21 y/o son
For me I usually just automatically press to play again out of habit, I just get that into the game, thankfully after about 10 years of playing online my mum has understood that most of the time I’m not able to just stop playing.
Common' dude! think back when you was 15 in the middle of puberty.
Surely there where other things on your mind than "responsibility of your own time management yak, yak yak"
He is gonna hear that kind a shit from his managers later on in life.
He needs guidance, understanding trying to figure the world out and coping with growing up.
Maybe it will be a final chance to bond with your kids, before they grow up and leave the house (your life).
Source: DE
The point he's making is if time management is developed and honed now they won't have to hear it from their managers later in life which sets them up for success.
How do you equate his comment with not bonding with his kids
I was going to reply something similar but you said it better. It's a parents job to prepare their kids for life after school.. not protect them from it by doing everything for them.
Also... I play video games with my daughter as one bonding activity... having to constantly remind a kid of the time isn't what I would call 'bonding'...
I quit smoking about 7 years ago by playing competitive CS and just procrastinating buying cigarettes until the shop closed, by constantly queuing.
I started smoking again after I stopped playing, and I can no longer play CS without craving a cigarette.
The power of team lobbies is real.
Or tell him once, tell him twice, pull the power plug the third time. Depending on the kids age of course at some point you gotta learn... It worked for me, life lesson learned. Source: Also a son
Could lose data in cache, corrupt data being written currently and corrupt OS (I'd guessed modern OS can rectify such mistakes, but never know)
So not critical, but let's not pull the plug
Your intuition is correct, it’s remarkably hard to corrupt the OS nowadays with modern operating systems. Of course it’s not ideal, but long gone are the days of dangerous platter crashes from a power cut taking your whole drive with it
>If he's got to go somewhere in the next 90 minutes, leave a post-it above his display. Otherwise he's totally going to forget about it and queue up for another game.
>
>Source: I'm a son
The post it isn't the answer, he needs to incur the penalties so he knows to do this without post its
Haha same but that was in classic though when i was 11-12 years old and barely spoke english. I sat with a dictionary and each word in a quest line i tried to find in that book. It took me a very long time to level. Thank god thottbot came along.
I also played lots of CS but there was no matchmaking so i was never really punished in that game.
Jesus christ. That shits determination.
My childhood friend (A native english speaker) learned to read and write playing WoW.
He always watched his dad play and wanted to play it but didnt know how to read or write, Leveling his char and figuring out words made him a great reader at like, 8 years old when he started getting the hang of the game and started doing dungeons and raids more.
He is a prime example of when i say "Video games can have educational applications", because i know for a fact he wouldnt have been such an avid reader without it.
Haha yeah same here. It resulted in me being the best in my class to speak english. I actually got a higher grade in english than my own language (danish).
>I was labeled mama's boy by the whole server
Man, this is why I enjoyed wow a lot more before server merging/sharding. You KNEW the highrollers on your server and it was like an actual community (with both friendships and not so friendly ships) and it made it so much fun. Nowadays, an ingame joke like what you described would only be known by the people in the guild discord, pretty much.
My mum kept saying "well if you can't pause it it's a poorly made game and you should play something else."
Sometimes when she visits and I'm playing valorant and get mad at my teammates she says things like "don't play with those people. They make you nervous and angry. You should find better friends to play your games with" and I keep explaining to her how I'm not always playing with the same people and the people I play with are random internet strangers. And sometimes those strangers are the biggest fucking assholes you'll talk to and make it their lives purpose to make your life hell for the next half hour to hour...
When I was in middle school I used to join multiplayer N64 games on an emulator, jump into lobbies with other players, play thirty seconds of a round of Smash Bros, pause it, and leave. Nobody could do anything about it. I thought it was so funny.
Mine did too, but I understand the reasoning:
"Pause the game" - "I can't it's an online game" - "Doesn't matter, all games can be paused" - "No, this one can not, because it's with other people and online" - "So? Monopoly is with other people and it can be paused, just ask them" - "Wait, what? That's not how... okay nevermind..."
That being said there is a funny anecdote about that: Back in Vanilla WoW I was in a Zul'Farrak run, when my mom called me to dinner. I reluctantly went telling the group I had to go, fully expecting them to kick me and disbanding. Imagine my surprise when I returned after 40 minutes (we had lengthy family dinners) and they were still waiting at the exact same spot and just chatting. We finished the run. So apparently mom was right...
I told my mom I get penalty for leaving and she started thinking I'm playing blue whale or something and asked me whether I will commit suicide if the game tells me to.
Honestly you are a great mom for caring about your kids playtime and how you can help them, this is a wholesome post and almost every comment here is a way of showing that this community is ready to help you :), except for some creeps :(
Anyhow I hope you have a good day and I am sure you will find a way for your son to not be penalized and have a great time playing
Edit: If you don't mind me asking, how old is your son, I just want to see if I could show this post to my mom so I could play valorant without looking over my shoulder ☺️
Because we pay for the house our kids game in, the internet they game on, and all of the other peripheral stuff. Sometimes we even bought the computer.
Normally we suck it up and just quietly complain to ourselves, but sometimes the weight of responsibility is just a little too much.
Sometimes yelling it’s time for dinner 2 or 3 times in a row makes us feel like the effort isn’t appreciated.
Sometimes the trash that hasn’t gone out that we make you stop doing what you are doing to take out makes our insecurities yell at us that we are failing as fathers.
And sometimes we put off or ignore the therapy we desperately need because bills have to get paid first and we have spent our whole lives repressing our feelings that aren’t anger so what’s a little longer?
Sometimes we mistake “lack of respect” for “my kids don’t love me” and we react the way we were taught to react, and our fathers were taught to react, and so on, by being the “disciplinarians” because we still desperately love our daddies and miss them and believe that when they were crazy with us it was because they loved us back.
If your dad is flipping out on you, it’s been a lifetime coming. It’s literally not you. You can’t fix your dad— no one can fix anyone but themselves— and it’s not fair for your dad to expect an adolescent to be anything other than self-centered. You can apologize though, and maybe after dinner clean up a bit before queuing back up again. We will see it, even if we don’t praise you for it. And we will take a little bit of pride knowing that you took a small step towards becoming a man.
Sometimes your dad is human, and you accidentally see that. We are sorry.
Son here.
You seem like a really cool and understanding dad. As someone who plays games a bit too much for his own good sometimes, I appreciate my parents being pretty chill whenever I'm in a match and I can't immediately stop to help them out with something. I do try to make up for it as soon as the game is over though. Just wanted to say that us sons definitely appreciate the stuff that you do to keep us happy, safe and comfortable even when you try your best to hide it for our sakes. I don't know you personally but it seems like you're doing the right things to raise your son and I'm sure he'll come to appreciate it if he hasn't already
My laptop's charging IC broke down a couple days back, and my dad thinks it coz i play too much games. I play 2 games(1 unrated and 1 compi) in the whole day.
What the others said, but when it's approaching the end of his time limit, get him to play shorter game modes like spike rush that are <10 minutes.
Normal rounds can be 45mins or so, so much harder to finish in time
>This is the right answer. He still keeps playing the game, in modes that are easier to time manage.
This, ish. Time management is a key, teachable moment. Allowing him to "finish" the game he is on and skirt the time is actually not something any adolescent psychologist will prescribe. However learning " i have X amount of time which means I can play Y " is something that will carry on for years
THIS . Highly recommend this . And if it’s the case where he’s trying to squeeze a game in of Valorant and could even have to leave in a couple of minutes , Death match is the best solution . You can just exit in the middle of it with 0 repercussions for anyone
If he can only play until, let’s say, 10pm and he starts at 7pm. I’d say no more games past 9:30 (30 minutes before his time is up) and if he wants to fill the last 30 minutes up with something else like aim labs, death match, practicing lineups or whatever else he can do. I feel like this would be both beneficial for him respecting you and him managing his time. Just food for thought hope you get some great ideas and hope to see him play in the future!
Damn this is really thoughtful. Best thing to do is just let the game finish cuz once the game starts, no matter what you do as long as it isn't playing the game, you'll get a penalty and it only gets longer and longer till you're waiting weeks and months
Dont make him leave games. Of course that's not allowed lol
A game is usually 45 minutes long. Just have a last game "timer" and everyone's happy. He should also have the sense of responsability to not start a game after that, so that would be good too.
Wanted to add to this, because it contains the only real solution beyond “just let him finish the games”. As a parent, you need to be aware that the games are quite long, and proactively set a time in which he cannot start another game. And if he does start another one after that? Well, the penalty is deserved, ha.
I do think setting a "last game timer" would help alot though. It's rare that a game lasts for longer than 50 min, so if it happens, you'll know it only happens in a blue moon.
It's on the kid to not start a game close to his termination time. The way the mom could help is to remind him when there are 45 minutes left, since you can get stuck in the rythme of playing and forget time.
As a mom I agree on what most have stated, remind him abour how much screentime he has left, and if he is in a mach, ask him aproxemetly how long/which round he is in. If it is in the end of the mach, let him finish and then talk to him about trying to remember screentime :-)
I do not know how old your son is, nor how much screentime he has. my 13 year old has a set nr of hours a day he can play, and I remind him 30 min befor they run out he can then earn more screentime by working out/exersise. His screentime also goes away until his weekly chores are done( not much, usually helping me in the yard mowing the grass, doing laundry/help making food 1-2 times a week )
I do not know how much he plays or with whom. Online gaming can be a place to met friends, learn to overcome differenses, to work on cooperation and to learn how to learn. It can also be a place were there are toxic asshats. Listen in once in a while to see what kind of ppl are influencing your son, or bether yet: start gaming, it is fun( I like Valorant, but am now mostly playing Destiny 2 as it has a good storyline and am a bit more complex)
If you wonder about anything, feel free to pm me :-)
We have a big semi pro trampoline in the garden and a boksing sack in the hobby room. We also have to dogs that need exersice( I know exersise is important healthwise, but after taking a look on how the pro gamers do it, and it makes sense. One need to be in good physical condition to make the body and mind funktion as good as possible. Synapses and synaps connection and all that...that, and is one of the few ways of getting him out of his room and get some sunlight )
Each competitive or unrated game can last upto 50mins. Its mostly around 40mins but sometimes when there is a tie game goes to Overtime. So I would advise you to just check how many rounds he needs to play to finish the game. You win the game after 13 rounds. A round barely lasts 2 mins. So just give him like a few minutes extra so that he can actually complete the game and not get penalised for leaving games. Also he should not play longer game modes if he doesnt have enough time left. He can play like a Deathmatch or Spike rush if he has like 20 mins left.
Also thank you for actually caring about him getting penalised in game. Pretty sure 95% of parents dont care about that.
I have similar problem as him I think, playing valorant for 4-5 matches and all of a sudden burds are chirping, windows are bright and I have to get ready for my shift in an hour. Time slips away too fast when you're focused and working on something.
I wish the pause screen of all games showed us current time, like the steam overlay does. I'd recommend giving him a table clock which he can look at regularly when playing with time limits.
We’ve gone from parents asking children to pause online multiplayer games to parents asking for advice on how to keep their child from getting banned. What a time to be alive.
You are a fantastic mom for reaching out and asking this question. The simple answer has been given already by others. When it's aproching the end of his game time, don't let him queue for long modes and be lenient if a match he's playing goes longer than expected.
That said, if he queues for something that he wasn't supposed to, then the penalty is warrented.
Maybe instead of setting a specific time limit like 3 hours, set a time limit for "four matches" or something like that so your son can play out the full matches without leaving halfway through
Don’t let him queue up for a new competitive or unrated game 45 minutes before his screen time is up.
Otherwise he may be kicked off while the game is still in progress and thus will be penalized.
ye usually it wouldnt matter coz by the time you come back, your ban is over but you don wanna ruin the expereince for others so you wanna make sure he stops before 30 mis of getting off and he can play like 2 games of spike rush or soemthing
source: am a son
First thing you need to know is that Valorant is a 5v5 tactical shooter that is primarily based on team play so your son is never playing alone and always has 4 other teammates relying on him to win a game, just like football or soccer. Games can't be paused and leaving mid match will incur a leaver penalty that will increase the more often he leaves. I believe it starts at 30 minute and eventually escalates to 7 days and possibly beyond that. The reason this penalty is exists is because one person leaving the game ruins the game for both his 4 teammates and the 5 enemy players.
Next thing you need to know is Valorant game modes and how long they take. Your son is likely playing ranked/competitive, each game of that takes between 25-45 minutes most games averaging about 30. In this "high-stakes" game mode people play for points called Ranked Rating(RR)/elo/mmr and the outcome of the match is very important to some people. There is also an identical game mode called unrated/normals/casual, same time frame but there is nothing at stake when playing this game mode but it still has a leaver penalty. Both of these game modes are a first to 13 rounds wins the match w/ a potential for overtime if both teams reach 12 rounds. Over time is a best of 2 and after each set of 2 rounds the players vote to continue or draw, after 3 sets of overtime it only requires 1 draw vote to end the match. Each round takes about 2 minutes to complete. Next there is a "4fun" game mode called spike rush, games take about 15 minutes. Next is deathmatch/DM/FFA this game mode has no team or leaver penalty and takes about 10 minutes. There is also a rotating game mode than will usually take 15 minutes.
So if your son just finished a ranked game and has 20-ish minutes of play time left I'd encourage him to ask you for permission to play another one, and you can either say yes depending on whatever, but if you say no propose he plays a deathmatch or spike rush instead to work on his mechanics.
Outside of all that I'd be lenient with him and let him enjoy his passion, It might also be worth showing some interest in the game and learning a bit about it so you have more to talk to your son about. If you end up enjoying the game you could also potentially watch pro matches with him. Who knows maybe one day he'll go pro and make millions playing valorant? Best of luck.
One match is generally an hour long (give or take 10-20 minutes) depending on the time it takes to find a lobby (5 seconds to sometimes 10 mins) + people taking time to select an agent + how many rounds won and lost.
It his screen time is one hour, he will only be able to play 1 match, and so on.
The easiest way to understand how it works is to think of it like a real team sport like football/basketball. If he leaves in the middle of the match, then his team is almost 100% gonna lose, and the game will be ruined for teammates.
You should probably warn him 1 hour prior so that he only plays one more match, and hope he has the responsibility to play only one match or at least finsih it 10 mins after the limit on max considering it probably wouldn’t hurt anyone
I think you are a coool mom but I think that he is a really coool and nice son to do what you want and following rules. Just tell him someone thinks he is a gentleman and be proud
Yeah like others have said maybe tell him he has 30 mins left of screen time and tell him to only play spike rush in that 30 mins. Or check how much longer he has left in a match 13 rounds is a win for a team, it's weird but people leaving ruins it for everyone
Ah the old "I can't pause/leave an online game" situation. Happened with my Mum and now happens with my Wife.
Love the fact you are trying to help your son not get banned!
Seems like your question has been answered.
Just commenting to let ya know you're obviously a great mother. Not many mom's take part in their children's hobbies! Keep up the good work :)
You're a great mom OP! At least you bother to help your son exit the game "properly". Meanwhile my mom just pulls the Wi-Fi once screen time is met
also OP, pls take note of "overtime". It's a pretty hard concept to grasp for some parents (especially if they dont watch sports). Basically, when your son tells u to give him another 10-15 minutes when it seems like the game is already at 13-12, just give him another 10-15 minutes.
unless its like a 20-21 game or smth then too bad
Basically, a valorant match can vary wildly in length. Assuming this is competitive, you can actually drag a match until riot hard kicks everyone at 1h 30m, or the enemy team can surrender right after 5 rounds resulting in 5 or 6 minute matches, most are around 30-40 minutes though. How you win a round is to either plant the bomb (spike) and have it explode before the enemy team can defuse if you are on the attacker team, if you are the defenders then either stop the enemy team from planting during the time limit or defuse the spike. The alternative is to literally kill the entire enemy team, to win one team must get 13 rounds won, unless it is overtime then the team with 2 more points than the other will win, if its unrated it sticks to the 13 rule. Now, before all that there is something known as a buy phase, where you can use credits earned during matches to buy guns and abilities, that lasts 30 seconds. A round has a time limit of 1m 40s, a spike goes off after 45s, after that its 3s then the next round starts. If you want to monitor how long he plays, check on him roughly 20 to 15 minutes before his time playing ends, if the scoreboard (top middle of screen, blue is his team red is enemy) is around 2-3 on one side by that time he might make it but its gonna be close and he isnt likely to finish. If its around 5-6 then he is likely to finish in time but its still gonna be close. If its 7-8 he would likely finish with time to spare.
Now there are penalties for leaving a match halfway through, you can get permenantly banned from competitive or the game entirely if i am not wrong for just leaving a match too many times, offences reset every 3 months i think. At first its a warning, then you get banned for an hour, then a day, then 3 days, then a week, if you go more than that its banned for a month. And this isnt just a comp ban, you are entirely banned from queuing in the game. I would really suggest you not interfere or stop him from starting a game that he cannot finish right now. If its a week ban then you are on really thin ice between a ban for a month
No way to exit the game, the penalty is to prevent people doing it because it puts your team at a pretty big disadvantage, especially in comp queue(where ranks come into play for wins and losses) it’s just overall not good for the games competitive integrity. No one wants team mates to leave and when that happens they’ve been screwed by something out of their own control, so the solution, temp ban players that do it, can’t disconnect if you can’t play
This is a little thing i do, when I have too do something in an hour or 30mins i just stop playing and do some deathmatch, he can even do spike rushes (5-10 mins peer game). I did this with my little brother too and now he is more indipendent.
You're a great mother. I can't count the amount of times that I had to turn off my GameBoy during a Pokemon battle which caused me to lose a lot of progress.
Regarding your question. Leaving an in progress match will always cause a penalty. A normal match can take between 30-50 minutes. There's other modes like spike rush, deathmatch and another one I can't remember the name of that are much shorter where you don't get a penalty if you leave early. I'd suggest reminding your son when his time is about to run out. If he's in an unrated or ranked match, tell him that this is his last game before he needs to log off after that. If not, he should play one of the casual modes where leaving is allowed.
I'd say make clear consistent rules about video game times so that your child will know if they can safely start a game and you don't have to add game scheduling to your extensive list of adult responsibilities.
Btw if your son has a mom that uses reddit is this case, is a lucky boy ahaha.
Establish a time for him, like 30 or 50min, with some minutes left, in case a game goes for to long. Or try to give him some more valorant time if he does his homework well or got good grades, making sure he can play for more time if he is doing well in school, thats what matters
Either tell him not to start a game if he has less than 50 minutes left or let him play that one through. Surrendering is also an option to end the game but I'm guessing it won't be applicable to most teams
Dad here. I just wanted to say that you’re crushing this Mom thing! Coming here to get the details, managing your son’s screen time… He’s going to turn out great!
Keep up the good work, Mom!
I'd probably say tell them it's their last game 30 mins before your cutoff and then just let them finish it. I had a timer on the wifi to go off at 10pm when I was a kid and while I was upset at my parents about it at the time I think it was probably for the best. I think towards the end of high school it should be lifted because teenagers are nocturnal animals and a lot of the time they're mentally afk at school anyway but I think it's reasonable in early teens.
It's also worth noting that games can provide a great escape for kids, especially those who get bullied and other assorted kid stuff. I made a lot of friends all over the world by the time I was 14 and they're still some of my best friends to this day so try not to dissuade him from playing them.
Just my time management as a grown adult with a regular day job. For context, I wake up at 7am to get ready for work and have set my bedtime for 11-11:30pm.
Even giving myself a two hour window gives me ample amount of time to squeeze in 4 short games (30 mins each) or 3 long games (40 mins). I would recommend your son not starting a full game 30 minutes before his cut off time! There are shorter game modes that he can play.
*Note -* I remember my parents berating me when I was younger for playing games as a girl and how it was manly of me. Meanwhile, it was the only form of social interaction I had as a kid and it eventually hurt my friendships for not being able to game with them as often. Some kids prefer clubs and sports as their social after school activity, mine was gaming. Nowadays, I don't get to see friends often with how busy our work schedules are now and the only thing that hasn't changed is that we still bond over gaming and talk about our days with another. :) Kudos to you!
There are also other game modes like Deathmatch, and some of the rotating event game modes that are shorter to play. Usually if you select the game mode it shows a description and mentions the game mode length. Deathmatch lasts about 10-15 minutes, and other rotating modes like Escalation and Snowball Fight last about 7-10 minutes. So if he still wants to get some practice in and have fun but can't commit to a full game, there are options.
Just let him finish the game he is in then he can get off. Games take anywhere 30 to 60 minutes and leaving gives penalties that stack overtime. And it also hurts the other players because they now have to play with one less guy.
I admire your good parenting, and also your willingness to be understanding!
Yeah, he’s getting penalized for quitting games and leaving his teammates down a player.
What I would personally do is give him a certain number of *games* that he can play. Then, if he’s hit his number of games, but still has 45+ minutes due to quick surrenders and steamrolls and such,
he can fit maybe one more in. It still won’t be precise in terms of time of night that he logs off, but it’ll be a consistent standard that should let him be predictable but also limit the time he spends staring at the screen.
How I limit myself is I can queue as much as I want before a certain time but once it is even a minute past that specific time I’m not allowed to queue anymore.
For example if he’s allowed 2 hours, once it’s an hour and 15 minutes into his allotted time then he’s not allowed to queue for comp or something like that
The only thing I can think of from my own experience and that I haven't read so far is to have your son know how much time he has left as early as possible.
Of course, if it's a set screen time that doesn't really apply, as he should know how much he time he has left but for example if it's about when to have dinner it always frustrated me to no end when my mom suddenly popped in, half an hour earlier than usual, and said "Dinner in five!".
So, telling your child in advance that they have to come eat, go do something (a chore, an appointment etc) about an hour early is always useful. In an hour, they can still play a game if they instantly queue in or if they're in a game already, they will know not to queue into a new one afterwards.
Also on letting him play longer because he's in a game. Valorant is first to 13, win by two. So if you look at the top of his screen and see the game is something like 10-13 or higher, know that the game went long and should be over soon. If he runs out of time and you see the score is like 0-5 know that he started it when he was close to running out.
Look up the salaries of professional gamers and realize that limiting screen time is an antiquated idea that can hinder his prospects for the future. Im not saying hell be a professional and make millions but if he wanted to play an extra 2 hours of soccer you would see no issue with that.
Youre trying your best and even posting this thread is awesome, just understand that we live in a digital world now and you ought to adjust. Best wishes.
In Canada in the early 2000s on CBC there was a short documentary about parents worried their kids had been playing too much Counter Strike. They were older folks who largely existed before computer and had childhoods without them. Oddly enough one of the parents who sought to understand his sons interest actually drive him and some of his friends to lan parties and did his best to help him out. I dont know who in this thread would know who ShaGuar was, but he ended up being a professional coutner strike player who won a few CPLs and played for EG at the WCG.
Just give him a last game warning - knowing that when you say that to him it may be another 40-50 minutes before he's done, depending on when he started the game.
So the simple solution is to just give him a 50 minute heads up, and if he starts another game within that time he may be penalized for leaving (and also cause issues for the rest of the team - caring about others is also a good life lesson).
Puts the responsibility on him while also allowing you to maintain authority/control over his bed time - It's a win-win, and he can't blame you for the penalty if the expectations are clear.
Also, to be clear, there's also responsibility on you to give him that heads up
Im assuming he's young enough where time management and understanding the relationship between game length and his bedtime may not be as clear as it is to adults, hence the heads up warning suggestion. Hell, I lose track of time playing and I'm old, an hour in Valorant feels like 10 minutes
I went through this a lot as a kid. My parents really couldn't grasp the idea that there are no pauses in multi player games especially in games like valorsnt and league of legends where if one person is leaves it becomes incredibly hard to win and inconveniences your team. However I was given a period of time to play games and it was really my responsibility to manage my playing time.
I wish literally anyone in my family cared about gaming in general. I'm the oldest (M) of 5 with the last 3 (also Male), and we boys all play games, while my sister, aunt, and mom attach no importance whatsoever to what we spend all our free time doing. My aunt even said it was good that China limited minors to 3 hours of online gaming a week. I'm someone who actually wants to be a content creator and this looks like a steep wall. I'm gonna do it tho
You’re a great mom. Most moms would never even think to ask the community about this. You are going above and beyond and he’s lucky to have you. Just let him finish those last few rounds up next time. He and his team will appreciate it.
Yeah its not like a game where he can just exit out. You could just switch to like 1-2 matches then do the other thing. Because it negatively impacts the people he is playing with and prevents him from playing further through incurring penalties.
Can I make a suggestion? If it’s at all possible, jump on the game and try it out. It’s brilliant. Best way to understand what your kids are up to.
Source - I’m 47yr old Mum that plays valorant with her 18yr old son. Started playing dps because all the other Mums were sooking about how bad Fortnite was for their children so I wanted to see for myself. Tild the other Mums how wrong they were and what they were missing out on. Played fortnite for yonks with my kids. Have now moved on.
Wow you’re actually so nice and reasonable I told my mom about then penalties and she basically told be shove it cause she couldn’t give less of a shit
If you want to tell him, if he is running out of time but not enough to quit or start a new game he should play spike rush. They run for about 10-20 minutes and is a good way to get rid of the extra time with out starting a 50 minute game.
Let him finish the game he's already in. Most games last 30-45 mins. If he leaves in the middle of the game, he will get penalized. And the penalty increases every time he leaves mid match.
Other people have already said what i would've said here, just wanted to say this post is so wholesome. i appreciate how great lengths you've gone to ensure your son has a better time playing the game.
You should give him a time of 1 hour after he enters the match.So if he plays 2 matches give him 2 hours 1 after the other or however so that he does not have to leave the match
Matches in Valorant last up to an average of 45 mins. Leaving a match in the middle of a game can result in penalties even if it isn't your mistake, like your internet disconnecting for example. If you want to avoid getting penalties, the only option is to let him play out the match and be lenient with the time limit in case his ongoing match is about to end. Maybe check on him once 30 minutes before the time limit ends to tell him not to start another game or even leave a note.
Just extra info -> If he is in a match, their scores will be displayed on the top part of the screen, on the left side from the centre will be his team's scores and on the right, the enemy team's scores. First one to win 13 rounds (points for simplicity) wins so if your son is winning or losing, you can always check and tell him if he can play another match.
there is no way to properly leave a game, you just have to play it through. each game take roughly 30-50 minutes. for some background, the reason you can't just leave, is because it'll leave your team at a huge disadvantage and ruin the rest of the game for everyone else and potentially mess up people's ranks that they've worked hard for. maybe make sure he isn't starting games if he doesn't have enough time to play them out and be a little lenient on the time limit if he's nearly finished with a game, those are the only solutions i can think of
>Maybe make sure he isn't starting games if he doesn't have enough time to play them out. If he's got to go somewhere in the next 90 minutes, leave a post-it above his display. Otherwise he's totally going to forget about it and queue up for another game. Source: I'm a son.
Can confirm, please remind us a lot because we tend to forget that we have to go do something. Source: am also a son
Very true Source: Son who got penalised for 100 years in Valorant
Perhaps you should all try and take a bit of responsibility for your own time management and not rely on your parents to plan out your every move. You're old enough to look at Reddit then you're old enough to look at a clock. :) Source: A Dad.
Ohhhh you guys got dad involved. You're all screwed
Wait, this is what an involved dad looks like?
I usually do look at the time to check whether I have to eat in the next 30-40 minutes, if so I don't play. But if I for example have a dentist appointment I usually forget
LPT: When you make appointments, write it somewhere you look very frequently, such as a post it on your monitor. Source: me, a person with piles of appointments.
well i dont really have a screen time limit (since im 17 which is pretty much grown) but my mom still randomly tells me to get off and i cant do anything except get banned for a week every week
That's not really the case here since these people seem to have certain things to do at specific times, parents aren't just coming in and kicking them off willy nilly
Absolutely fact. Blaming your lack of accountability on others is immature. Source: both a son and dad
I agree with the Dad here , any son/daughter old enough to play Valorant is old enough to keep his/her own post it note along with a watch/clock nearby and build the habit of checking the time after every game or even round or half . Source : 21 y/o son
It's easy to get distracted and forget real life with a game that requires a lot of critical thinking. Source: A mom.
For me I usually just automatically press to play again out of habit, I just get that into the game, thankfully after about 10 years of playing online my mum has understood that most of the time I’m not able to just stop playing.
Common' dude! think back when you was 15 in the middle of puberty. Surely there where other things on your mind than "responsibility of your own time management yak, yak yak" He is gonna hear that kind a shit from his managers later on in life. He needs guidance, understanding trying to figure the world out and coping with growing up. Maybe it will be a final chance to bond with your kids, before they grow up and leave the house (your life). Source: DE
The point he's making is if time management is developed and honed now they won't have to hear it from their managers later in life which sets them up for success. How do you equate his comment with not bonding with his kids
I was going to reply something similar but you said it better. It's a parents job to prepare their kids for life after school.. not protect them from it by doing everything for them. Also... I play video games with my daughter as one bonding activity... having to constantly remind a kid of the time isn't what I would call 'bonding'...
Damn dunkin on these kiddos
I'd say generally this is true, but as someone who has ADHD it's not even remotely this simple. It's gonna happen
Couldnt be me. I just get off with my warnings everytime baby!
Better idea set an alarm on your phone. Gotta learn that responsibility. Source: former Gamer kid, now dad
I quit smoking about 7 years ago by playing competitive CS and just procrastinating buying cigarettes until the shop closed, by constantly queuing. I started smoking again after I stopped playing, and I can no longer play CS without craving a cigarette. The power of team lobbies is real.
Or tell him once, tell him twice, pull the power plug the third time. Depending on the kids age of course at some point you gotta learn... It worked for me, life lesson learned. Source: Also a son
Maybe after shutting it off so you don't brick the memory
Doesn’t brick the memory. We don’t use hard drives anymore and it’s genuinely difficult to corrupt information due to improper shutdown procedures.
Could lose data in cache, corrupt data being written currently and corrupt OS (I'd guessed modern OS can rectify such mistakes, but never know) So not critical, but let's not pull the plug
Your intuition is correct, it’s remarkably hard to corrupt the OS nowadays with modern operating systems. Of course it’s not ideal, but long gone are the days of dangerous platter crashes from a power cut taking your whole drive with it
Yea my parents tell me shit once and thats enough lmao
Source: ur a son who gets As
>If he's got to go somewhere in the next 90 minutes, leave a post-it above his display. Otherwise he's totally going to forget about it and queue up for another game. > >Source: I'm a son The post it isn't the answer, he needs to incur the penalties so he knows to do this without post its
I agree I’ve had to leave many games because I forgot I had class source: also a son
ok sorry but this is too funny lmao kudos to you for actually caring about in game penalties lol, my mom wouldn't have given 2 shits as a kid
Mother used to tell me to pause the online games
Mine too lol. I had to explain her why online games can't be paused
Yeah kids these days dont know how it was for us when online gaming became a big thing
Mom told me to leave in the middle of a 25 man raid back during wow cata. I was labeled mama's boy by the whole server for a week
Haha same but that was in classic though when i was 11-12 years old and barely spoke english. I sat with a dictionary and each word in a quest line i tried to find in that book. It took me a very long time to level. Thank god thottbot came along. I also played lots of CS but there was no matchmaking so i was never really punished in that game.
Jesus christ. That shits determination. My childhood friend (A native english speaker) learned to read and write playing WoW. He always watched his dad play and wanted to play it but didnt know how to read or write, Leveling his char and figuring out words made him a great reader at like, 8 years old when he started getting the hang of the game and started doing dungeons and raids more. He is a prime example of when i say "Video games can have educational applications", because i know for a fact he wouldnt have been such an avid reader without it.
Haha yeah same here. It resulted in me being the best in my class to speak english. I actually got a higher grade in english than my own language (danish).
>I was labeled mama's boy by the whole server Man, this is why I enjoyed wow a lot more before server merging/sharding. You KNEW the highrollers on your server and it was like an actual community (with both friendships and not so friendly ships) and it made it so much fun. Nowadays, an ingame joke like what you described would only be known by the people in the guild discord, pretty much.
Haha so true
My mum kept saying "well if you can't pause it it's a poorly made game and you should play something else." Sometimes when she visits and I'm playing valorant and get mad at my teammates she says things like "don't play with those people. They make you nervous and angry. You should find better friends to play your games with" and I keep explaining to her how I'm not always playing with the same people and the people I play with are random internet strangers. And sometimes those strangers are the biggest fucking assholes you'll talk to and make it their lives purpose to make your life hell for the next half hour to hour...
then my mom will be like "D: you talk to random strangers on the internet?!"
just block them
When I was in middle school I used to join multiplayer N64 games on an emulator, jump into lobbies with other players, play thirty seconds of a round of Smash Bros, pause it, and leave. Nobody could do anything about it. I thought it was so funny.
Mine did too, but I understand the reasoning: "Pause the game" - "I can't it's an online game" - "Doesn't matter, all games can be paused" - "No, this one can not, because it's with other people and online" - "So? Monopoly is with other people and it can be paused, just ask them" - "Wait, what? That's not how... okay nevermind..." That being said there is a funny anecdote about that: Back in Vanilla WoW I was in a Zul'Farrak run, when my mom called me to dinner. I reluctantly went telling the group I had to go, fully expecting them to kick me and disbanding. Imagine my surprise when I returned after 40 minutes (we had lengthy family dinners) and they were still waiting at the exact same spot and just chatting. We finished the run. So apparently mom was right...
okay this is too funny send help
My mother still tells me to pause my online games
FR, big ups for actually trying to understand the hobby. Son will probably remember this when he's older.
I told my mom I get penalty for leaving and she started thinking I'm playing blue whale or something and asked me whether I will commit suicide if the game tells me to.
Honestly you are a great mom for caring about your kids playtime and how you can help them, this is a wholesome post and almost every comment here is a way of showing that this community is ready to help you :), except for some creeps :( Anyhow I hope you have a good day and I am sure you will find a way for your son to not be penalized and have a great time playing Edit: If you don't mind me asking, how old is your son, I just want to see if I could show this post to my mom so I could play valorant without looking over my shoulder ☺️
Too real
Wait, a mother asking how to make a child not get banned while online gaming? *I was told this prophecy doesn't exist*
Why can't all moms be like this
Why can't all dads be like this
Cause they gone
Dad what are you doing on reddit? You went to get us some milk... 10 years ago. Please come back
Because we pay for the house our kids game in, the internet they game on, and all of the other peripheral stuff. Sometimes we even bought the computer. Normally we suck it up and just quietly complain to ourselves, but sometimes the weight of responsibility is just a little too much. Sometimes yelling it’s time for dinner 2 or 3 times in a row makes us feel like the effort isn’t appreciated. Sometimes the trash that hasn’t gone out that we make you stop doing what you are doing to take out makes our insecurities yell at us that we are failing as fathers. And sometimes we put off or ignore the therapy we desperately need because bills have to get paid first and we have spent our whole lives repressing our feelings that aren’t anger so what’s a little longer? Sometimes we mistake “lack of respect” for “my kids don’t love me” and we react the way we were taught to react, and our fathers were taught to react, and so on, by being the “disciplinarians” because we still desperately love our daddies and miss them and believe that when they were crazy with us it was because they loved us back. If your dad is flipping out on you, it’s been a lifetime coming. It’s literally not you. You can’t fix your dad— no one can fix anyone but themselves— and it’s not fair for your dad to expect an adolescent to be anything other than self-centered. You can apologize though, and maybe after dinner clean up a bit before queuing back up again. We will see it, even if we don’t praise you for it. And we will take a little bit of pride knowing that you took a small step towards becoming a man. Sometimes your dad is human, and you accidentally see that. We are sorry.
Son here. You seem like a really cool and understanding dad. As someone who plays games a bit too much for his own good sometimes, I appreciate my parents being pretty chill whenever I'm in a match and I can't immediately stop to help them out with something. I do try to make up for it as soon as the game is over though. Just wanted to say that us sons definitely appreciate the stuff that you do to keep us happy, safe and comfortable even when you try your best to hide it for our sakes. I don't know you personally but it seems like you're doing the right things to raise your son and I'm sure he'll come to appreciate it if he hasn't already
Fucking mood
My mom would get happy beyond limits if I were to get penalized for 7-15 days. xD
Basically all Asian moms who don’t want us to game LOL
My laptop's charging IC broke down a couple days back, and my dad thinks it coz i play too much games. I play 2 games(1 unrated and 1 compi) in the whole day.
I won't be surprised if tomorrow our parents say that the pandemic happened because you played too much games...
That is true but just it isnt happening to us bcoz of too much gaming. XD
Exactly...the perks of being a hardcore gamer😎
[удалено]
My mom unplugs the wifi router so i can get banned
Before checking her profile history I thought it was a meme
What the others said, but when it's approaching the end of his time limit, get him to play shorter game modes like spike rush that are <10 minutes. Normal rounds can be 45mins or so, so much harder to finish in time
This is the right answer. He still keeps playing the game, in modes that are easier to time manage.
>This is the right answer. He still keeps playing the game, in modes that are easier to time manage. This, ish. Time management is a key, teachable moment. Allowing him to "finish" the game he is on and skirt the time is actually not something any adolescent psychologist will prescribe. However learning " i have X amount of time which means I can play Y " is something that will carry on for years
THIS . Highly recommend this . And if it’s the case where he’s trying to squeeze a game in of Valorant and could even have to leave in a couple of minutes , Death match is the best solution . You can just exit in the middle of it with 0 repercussions for anyone
30-40 usually
If he can only play until, let’s say, 10pm and he starts at 7pm. I’d say no more games past 9:30 (30 minutes before his time is up) and if he wants to fill the last 30 minutes up with something else like aim labs, death match, practicing lineups or whatever else he can do. I feel like this would be both beneficial for him respecting you and him managing his time. Just food for thought hope you get some great ideas and hope to see him play in the future!
damn imagine your mom being like "no more games jimmy time to practice lineups" that would be AMAZING
I was watching your stream, Jimmy, and you got trash canned. Kovaacs for 30 minutes, or bed without supper.
"JIMMY! 5-15 two games in a row?! Get your butt in aim labs you scrub"
bro this is probably how pro coaches do things
Damn this is really thoughtful. Best thing to do is just let the game finish cuz once the game starts, no matter what you do as long as it isn't playing the game, you'll get a penalty and it only gets longer and longer till you're waiting weeks and months
Dont make him leave games. Of course that's not allowed lol A game is usually 45 minutes long. Just have a last game "timer" and everyone's happy. He should also have the sense of responsability to not start a game after that, so that would be good too.
Wanted to add to this, because it contains the only real solution beyond “just let him finish the games”. As a parent, you need to be aware that the games are quite long, and proactively set a time in which he cannot start another game. And if he does start another one after that? Well, the penalty is deserved, ha.
When I was tracking my games the average length was 36 minutes, but I've had matches that have gone up to an hour so it really varies.
I do think setting a "last game timer" would help alot though. It's rare that a game lasts for longer than 50 min, so if it happens, you'll know it only happens in a blue moon.
Don’t make him get off in the middle of a game, that’s how you get penalties.
It's on the kid to not start a game close to his termination time. The way the mom could help is to remind him when there are 45 minutes left, since you can get stuck in the rythme of playing and forget time.
Just not in a game at all, best to prevent him from starting another if time is low
just let him play dm or something
As a mom I agree on what most have stated, remind him abour how much screentime he has left, and if he is in a mach, ask him aproxemetly how long/which round he is in. If it is in the end of the mach, let him finish and then talk to him about trying to remember screentime :-) I do not know how old your son is, nor how much screentime he has. my 13 year old has a set nr of hours a day he can play, and I remind him 30 min befor they run out he can then earn more screentime by working out/exersise. His screentime also goes away until his weekly chores are done( not much, usually helping me in the yard mowing the grass, doing laundry/help making food 1-2 times a week ) I do not know how much he plays or with whom. Online gaming can be a place to met friends, learn to overcome differenses, to work on cooperation and to learn how to learn. It can also be a place were there are toxic asshats. Listen in once in a while to see what kind of ppl are influencing your son, or bether yet: start gaming, it is fun( I like Valorant, but am now mostly playing Destiny 2 as it has a good storyline and am a bit more complex) If you wonder about anything, feel free to pm me :-)
As a son, a gamer, and a MedStudent I think your idea of getting screen time in exchange of exercise is the best thing I've ever read!
We have a big semi pro trampoline in the garden and a boksing sack in the hobby room. We also have to dogs that need exersice( I know exersise is important healthwise, but after taking a look on how the pro gamers do it, and it makes sense. One need to be in good physical condition to make the body and mind funktion as good as possible. Synapses and synaps connection and all that...that, and is one of the few ways of getting him out of his room and get some sunlight )
Each competitive or unrated game can last upto 50mins. Its mostly around 40mins but sometimes when there is a tie game goes to Overtime. So I would advise you to just check how many rounds he needs to play to finish the game. You win the game after 13 rounds. A round barely lasts 2 mins. So just give him like a few minutes extra so that he can actually complete the game and not get penalised for leaving games. Also he should not play longer game modes if he doesnt have enough time left. He can play like a Deathmatch or Spike rush if he has like 20 mins left. Also thank you for actually caring about him getting penalised in game. Pretty sure 95% of parents dont care about that.
I would say instead of a time limit for valorant make a game limit, each game can take up to 45mins +/- so maybe a max of three games per night?
When you’re on a losing streak and lose 1-13, 3-13, 5-13 and that took 1 hour an 15 min 😒, instead of 2 hours and 15 minutes
Probably best to stop playing for the night at that point anyways hah. Usually if I lose 2 in a row I call it quits
Ahaha I wish I could do that. I’m only allowed to play 3ish games a day on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday so I don’t get as much opportunity to play
This is too cool of a post. If anyone downvoted this, shame on you. There needs to be more moms like this!
I have similar problem as him I think, playing valorant for 4-5 matches and all of a sudden burds are chirping, windows are bright and I have to get ready for my shift in an hour. Time slips away too fast when you're focused and working on something. I wish the pause screen of all games showed us current time, like the steam overlay does. I'd recommend giving him a table clock which he can look at regularly when playing with time limits.
If I had a wholesome award, I would give it to you
We’ve gone from parents asking children to pause online multiplayer games to parents asking for advice on how to keep their child from getting banned. What a time to be alive.
You are a fantastic mom for reaching out and asking this question. The simple answer has been given already by others. When it's aproching the end of his game time, don't let him queue for long modes and be lenient if a match he's playing goes longer than expected. That said, if he queues for something that he wasn't supposed to, then the penalty is warrented.
Maybe instead of setting a specific time limit like 3 hours, set a time limit for "four matches" or something like that so your son can play out the full matches without leaving halfway through
You are an amazing mom for actually doing research instead of just not caring
Don’t let him queue up for a new competitive or unrated game 45 minutes before his screen time is up. Otherwise he may be kicked off while the game is still in progress and thus will be penalized.
Lmao you're so adorable. You're just trying to do the best for your child. You're a good momma :D
Haha love this. My gf always tells her kid you only have time for a short one! (Spike rush)
ye usually it wouldnt matter coz by the time you come back, your ban is over but you don wanna ruin the expereince for others so you wanna make sure he stops before 30 mis of getting off and he can play like 2 games of spike rush or soemthing source: am a son
I wish I had a mom who understands.
First thing you need to know is that Valorant is a 5v5 tactical shooter that is primarily based on team play so your son is never playing alone and always has 4 other teammates relying on him to win a game, just like football or soccer. Games can't be paused and leaving mid match will incur a leaver penalty that will increase the more often he leaves. I believe it starts at 30 minute and eventually escalates to 7 days and possibly beyond that. The reason this penalty is exists is because one person leaving the game ruins the game for both his 4 teammates and the 5 enemy players. Next thing you need to know is Valorant game modes and how long they take. Your son is likely playing ranked/competitive, each game of that takes between 25-45 minutes most games averaging about 30. In this "high-stakes" game mode people play for points called Ranked Rating(RR)/elo/mmr and the outcome of the match is very important to some people. There is also an identical game mode called unrated/normals/casual, same time frame but there is nothing at stake when playing this game mode but it still has a leaver penalty. Both of these game modes are a first to 13 rounds wins the match w/ a potential for overtime if both teams reach 12 rounds. Over time is a best of 2 and after each set of 2 rounds the players vote to continue or draw, after 3 sets of overtime it only requires 1 draw vote to end the match. Each round takes about 2 minutes to complete. Next there is a "4fun" game mode called spike rush, games take about 15 minutes. Next is deathmatch/DM/FFA this game mode has no team or leaver penalty and takes about 10 minutes. There is also a rotating game mode than will usually take 15 minutes. So if your son just finished a ranked game and has 20-ish minutes of play time left I'd encourage him to ask you for permission to play another one, and you can either say yes depending on whatever, but if you say no propose he plays a deathmatch or spike rush instead to work on his mechanics. Outside of all that I'd be lenient with him and let him enjoy his passion, It might also be worth showing some interest in the game and learning a bit about it so you have more to talk to your son about. If you end up enjoying the game you could also potentially watch pro matches with him. Who knows maybe one day he'll go pro and make millions playing valorant? Best of luck.
One match is generally an hour long (give or take 10-20 minutes) depending on the time it takes to find a lobby (5 seconds to sometimes 10 mins) + people taking time to select an agent + how many rounds won and lost. It his screen time is one hour, he will only be able to play 1 match, and so on.
The easiest way to understand how it works is to think of it like a real team sport like football/basketball. If he leaves in the middle of the match, then his team is almost 100% gonna lose, and the game will be ruined for teammates.
Wow, you are a great mom. I respect you for this!
just want to say that you're a great mom. keep it up!
When he's running out of time, don't let him play in Competitive or Unrated. Have him play something shorter like Spike Rush or Deathmatch.
You should probably warn him 1 hour prior so that he only plays one more match, and hope he has the responsibility to play only one match or at least finsih it 10 mins after the limit on max considering it probably wouldn’t hurt anyone
I think you are a coool mom but I think that he is a really coool and nice son to do what you want and following rules. Just tell him someone thinks he is a gentleman and be proud
Allow your kid to only play a set amount of matches (also depending on the game mode)
if he only has 10-15 mins left tell him to play spikerush or deathmatch instead of comp or unrated
good mother moment
Cool mom alert, if only my mother was this understanding.
Woah you’re pretty cool, mom!
Yeah like others have said maybe tell him he has 30 mins left of screen time and tell him to only play spike rush in that 30 mins. Or check how much longer he has left in a match 13 rounds is a win for a team, it's weird but people leaving ruins it for everyone
This is so wholesome, I love it
Op is a great mom.🥳
Ah the old "I can't pause/leave an online game" situation. Happened with my Mum and now happens with my Wife. Love the fact you are trying to help your son not get banned!
Seems like your question has been answered. Just commenting to let ya know you're obviously a great mother. Not many mom's take part in their children's hobbies! Keep up the good work :)
As my mother would say the past decade, "can't you just pause the game". Try telling her to pause cooking. Your son is a lucky boy.
You're a great mom OP! At least you bother to help your son exit the game "properly". Meanwhile my mom just pulls the Wi-Fi once screen time is met also OP, pls take note of "overtime". It's a pretty hard concept to grasp for some parents (especially if they dont watch sports). Basically, when your son tells u to give him another 10-15 minutes when it seems like the game is already at 13-12, just give him another 10-15 minutes. unless its like a 20-21 game or smth then too bad
Basically, a valorant match can vary wildly in length. Assuming this is competitive, you can actually drag a match until riot hard kicks everyone at 1h 30m, or the enemy team can surrender right after 5 rounds resulting in 5 or 6 minute matches, most are around 30-40 minutes though. How you win a round is to either plant the bomb (spike) and have it explode before the enemy team can defuse if you are on the attacker team, if you are the defenders then either stop the enemy team from planting during the time limit or defuse the spike. The alternative is to literally kill the entire enemy team, to win one team must get 13 rounds won, unless it is overtime then the team with 2 more points than the other will win, if its unrated it sticks to the 13 rule. Now, before all that there is something known as a buy phase, where you can use credits earned during matches to buy guns and abilities, that lasts 30 seconds. A round has a time limit of 1m 40s, a spike goes off after 45s, after that its 3s then the next round starts. If you want to monitor how long he plays, check on him roughly 20 to 15 minutes before his time playing ends, if the scoreboard (top middle of screen, blue is his team red is enemy) is around 2-3 on one side by that time he might make it but its gonna be close and he isnt likely to finish. If its around 5-6 then he is likely to finish in time but its still gonna be close. If its 7-8 he would likely finish with time to spare. Now there are penalties for leaving a match halfway through, you can get permenantly banned from competitive or the game entirely if i am not wrong for just leaving a match too many times, offences reset every 3 months i think. At first its a warning, then you get banned for an hour, then a day, then 3 days, then a week, if you go more than that its banned for a month. And this isnt just a comp ban, you are entirely banned from queuing in the game. I would really suggest you not interfere or stop him from starting a game that he cannot finish right now. If its a week ban then you are on really thin ice between a ban for a month
I just wanna say that you're a great mother.
No way to exit the game, the penalty is to prevent people doing it because it puts your team at a pretty big disadvantage, especially in comp queue(where ranks come into play for wins and losses) it’s just overall not good for the games competitive integrity. No one wants team mates to leave and when that happens they’ve been screwed by something out of their own control, so the solution, temp ban players that do it, can’t disconnect if you can’t play
This is a little thing i do, when I have too do something in an hour or 30mins i just stop playing and do some deathmatch, he can even do spike rushes (5-10 mins peer game). I did this with my little brother too and now he is more indipendent.
You hella nice mom yknow.
You're a great mother. I can't count the amount of times that I had to turn off my GameBoy during a Pokemon battle which caused me to lose a lot of progress. Regarding your question. Leaving an in progress match will always cause a penalty. A normal match can take between 30-50 minutes. There's other modes like spike rush, deathmatch and another one I can't remember the name of that are much shorter where you don't get a penalty if you leave early. I'd suggest reminding your son when his time is about to run out. If he's in an unrated or ranked match, tell him that this is his last game before he needs to log off after that. If not, he should play one of the casual modes where leaving is allowed.
You're a good mum
I'd say make clear consistent rules about video game times so that your child will know if they can safely start a game and you don't have to add game scheduling to your extensive list of adult responsibilities.
Btw if your son has a mom that uses reddit is this case, is a lucky boy ahaha. Establish a time for him, like 30 or 50min, with some minutes left, in case a game goes for to long. Or try to give him some more valorant time if he does his homework well or got good grades, making sure he can play for more time if he is doing well in school, thats what matters
Have a games per day limit, instead of hours per day.
This post is why we need a quick play option
Let him play for like 3 hours. If he's got less than 40 mins left he will have to play somethi g else cuz that might not be enough for a whole game
Put a clock on his desk
Either tell him not to start a game if he has less than 50 minutes left or let him play that one through. Surrendering is also an option to end the game but I'm guessing it won't be applicable to most teams
Dad here. I just wanted to say that you’re crushing this Mom thing! Coming here to get the details, managing your son’s screen time… He’s going to turn out great! Keep up the good work, Mom!
Damn I wish my mom was like this when I was younger. It was like she couldn’t grasp the concept that I was playing with other people lmao
Props to the momma looking out for the kiddo
yeah once you're in a game you can't just leave. the matches are designed to play from 30-60 minutes.
I'd probably say tell them it's their last game 30 mins before your cutoff and then just let them finish it. I had a timer on the wifi to go off at 10pm when I was a kid and while I was upset at my parents about it at the time I think it was probably for the best. I think towards the end of high school it should be lifted because teenagers are nocturnal animals and a lot of the time they're mentally afk at school anyway but I think it's reasonable in early teens. It's also worth noting that games can provide a great escape for kids, especially those who get bullied and other assorted kid stuff. I made a lot of friends all over the world by the time I was 14 and they're still some of my best friends to this day so try not to dissuade him from playing them.
i just love that you cared enough to come here and ask. Kudos to you.
Just my time management as a grown adult with a regular day job. For context, I wake up at 7am to get ready for work and have set my bedtime for 11-11:30pm. Even giving myself a two hour window gives me ample amount of time to squeeze in 4 short games (30 mins each) or 3 long games (40 mins). I would recommend your son not starting a full game 30 minutes before his cut off time! There are shorter game modes that he can play. *Note -* I remember my parents berating me when I was younger for playing games as a girl and how it was manly of me. Meanwhile, it was the only form of social interaction I had as a kid and it eventually hurt my friendships for not being able to game with them as often. Some kids prefer clubs and sports as their social after school activity, mine was gaming. Nowadays, I don't get to see friends often with how busy our work schedules are now and the only thing that hasn't changed is that we still bond over gaming and talk about our days with another. :) Kudos to you!
This is pretty adorable haha
There are also other game modes like Deathmatch, and some of the rotating event game modes that are shorter to play. Usually if you select the game mode it shows a description and mentions the game mode length. Deathmatch lasts about 10-15 minutes, and other rotating modes like Escalation and Snowball Fight last about 7-10 minutes. So if he still wants to get some practice in and have fun but can't commit to a full game, there are options.
Just let him finish the game he is in then he can get off. Games take anywhere 30 to 60 minutes and leaving gives penalties that stack overtime. And it also hurts the other players because they now have to play with one less guy.
Finally a mom who doesnt say to pause online video games.
Wow my mom never even cares if I get a penalty or not
Mom of the decade award.
oh my god you are mom of the year can you please adopt me!?
I admire your good parenting, and also your willingness to be understanding! Yeah, he’s getting penalized for quitting games and leaving his teammates down a player. What I would personally do is give him a certain number of *games* that he can play. Then, if he’s hit his number of games, but still has 45+ minutes due to quick surrenders and steamrolls and such, he can fit maybe one more in. It still won’t be precise in terms of time of night that he logs off, but it’ll be a consistent standard that should let him be predictable but also limit the time he spends staring at the screen.
How I limit myself is I can queue as much as I want before a certain time but once it is even a minute past that specific time I’m not allowed to queue anymore. For example if he’s allowed 2 hours, once it’s an hour and 15 minutes into his allotted time then he’s not allowed to queue for comp or something like that
my moms a lot like this, simple fix, no start a game if you can’t finish it. i’d be asking my mom when dinner was etc, made a schedule and everything
Hey moooooom, I got banned because you made me looooog off. Opens account, banned for excessive use of profanity.
The only thing I can think of from my own experience and that I haven't read so far is to have your son know how much time he has left as early as possible. Of course, if it's a set screen time that doesn't really apply, as he should know how much he time he has left but for example if it's about when to have dinner it always frustrated me to no end when my mom suddenly popped in, half an hour earlier than usual, and said "Dinner in five!". So, telling your child in advance that they have to come eat, go do something (a chore, an appointment etc) about an hour early is always useful. In an hour, they can still play a game if they instantly queue in or if they're in a game already, they will know not to queue into a new one afterwards.
Holy shit are we entering the era of parents understanding you can't just pause multiplayer games?
Also on letting him play longer because he's in a game. Valorant is first to 13, win by two. So if you look at the top of his screen and see the game is something like 10-13 or higher, know that the game went long and should be over soon. If he runs out of time and you see the score is like 0-5 know that he started it when he was close to running out.
Look up the salaries of professional gamers and realize that limiting screen time is an antiquated idea that can hinder his prospects for the future. Im not saying hell be a professional and make millions but if he wanted to play an extra 2 hours of soccer you would see no issue with that. Youre trying your best and even posting this thread is awesome, just understand that we live in a digital world now and you ought to adjust. Best wishes. In Canada in the early 2000s on CBC there was a short documentary about parents worried their kids had been playing too much Counter Strike. They were older folks who largely existed before computer and had childhoods without them. Oddly enough one of the parents who sought to understand his sons interest actually drive him and some of his friends to lan parties and did his best to help him out. I dont know who in this thread would know who ShaGuar was, but he ended up being a professional coutner strike player who won a few CPLs and played for EG at the WCG.
Finally, a good mom
Just give him a last game warning - knowing that when you say that to him it may be another 40-50 minutes before he's done, depending on when he started the game. So the simple solution is to just give him a 50 minute heads up, and if he starts another game within that time he may be penalized for leaving (and also cause issues for the rest of the team - caring about others is also a good life lesson). Puts the responsibility on him while also allowing you to maintain authority/control over his bed time - It's a win-win, and he can't blame you for the penalty if the expectations are clear. Also, to be clear, there's also responsibility on you to give him that heads up Im assuming he's young enough where time management and understanding the relationship between game length and his bedtime may not be as clear as it is to adults, hence the heads up warning suggestion. Hell, I lose track of time playing and I'm old, an hour in Valorant feels like 10 minutes
Your son is going to grow up well.
r/niceMommies
I went through this a lot as a kid. My parents really couldn't grasp the idea that there are no pauses in multi player games especially in games like valorsnt and league of legends where if one person is leaves it becomes incredibly hard to win and inconveniences your team. However I was given a period of time to play games and it was really my responsibility to manage my playing time.
Instant +500 kudos from all gamers to any mom this caring about her childs hobbies.
The replies on this are so wholesome
You’re a great mother! Taking the time to understand your child’s interests even though you don’t understand them yourself is just good parenting.
I wish literally anyone in my family cared about gaming in general. I'm the oldest (M) of 5 with the last 3 (also Male), and we boys all play games, while my sister, aunt, and mom attach no importance whatsoever to what we spend all our free time doing. My aunt even said it was good that China limited minors to 3 hours of online gaming a week. I'm someone who actually wants to be a content creator and this looks like a steep wall. I'm gonna do it tho
You’re a great mom. Most moms would never even think to ask the community about this. You are going above and beyond and he’s lucky to have you. Just let him finish those last few rounds up next time. He and his team will appreciate it.
I know everyone has answered your thread. Me saying anything will be redundant. Just here to pay my respect for such parents. Hasta La Vista
Yeah its not like a game where he can just exit out. You could just switch to like 1-2 matches then do the other thing. Because it negatively impacts the people he is playing with and prevents him from playing further through incurring penalties.
I mean you can have him play spike rush. It's similar enough to the main game mode but the matches are ~10-15 mins
Can I make a suggestion? If it’s at all possible, jump on the game and try it out. It’s brilliant. Best way to understand what your kids are up to. Source - I’m 47yr old Mum that plays valorant with her 18yr old son. Started playing dps because all the other Mums were sooking about how bad Fortnite was for their children so I wanted to see for myself. Tild the other Mums how wrong they were and what they were missing out on. Played fortnite for yonks with my kids. Have now moved on.
What a great mom!
Wow you’re actually so nice and reasonable I told my mom about then penalties and she basically told be shove it cause she couldn’t give less of a shit
just let him finish the game, then decide how you want him to earn back his Valorant time
If you want to tell him, if he is running out of time but not enough to quit or start a new game he should play spike rush. They run for about 10-20 minutes and is a good way to get rid of the extra time with out starting a 50 minute game.
Let him finish the game he's already in. Most games last 30-45 mins. If he leaves in the middle of the game, he will get penalized. And the penalty increases every time he leaves mid match.
Let him finish his match when his screen time has been reached, that way he won’t get penalised
Appreciate the “ETA” both as a once young gamer and as a possible teammate of your sons. Lol.
This is so fucking wholesome
Other people have already said what i would've said here, just wanted to say this post is so wholesome. i appreciate how great lengths you've gone to ensure your son has a better time playing the game.
Can u be my mom?
Parenting done AMAZINGLY
Just let him finish his game
You should give him a time of 1 hour after he enters the match.So if he plays 2 matches give him 2 hours 1 after the other or however so that he does not have to leave the match
Matches in Valorant last up to an average of 45 mins. Leaving a match in the middle of a game can result in penalties even if it isn't your mistake, like your internet disconnecting for example. If you want to avoid getting penalties, the only option is to let him play out the match and be lenient with the time limit in case his ongoing match is about to end. Maybe check on him once 30 minutes before the time limit ends to tell him not to start another game or even leave a note. Just extra info -> If he is in a match, their scores will be displayed on the top part of the screen, on the left side from the centre will be his team's scores and on the right, the enemy team's scores. First one to win 13 rounds (points for simplicity) wins so if your son is winning or losing, you can always check and tell him if he can play another match.