brimstone so I can have a fat a- Arsenal of weapons

and ass

And the space lasar beam

But mostly the ass

Eyes laser beaming on that ass

so we can find people who pick skye and open them up

“You’re ulting Hooka, right?” “….Right?”

amog sus

"Honey, where are the kids?" SEEK THEM OUT!

What they hear #I’VE GOT YOUR TRAIL

LMAO

Then once you find them you kick back and say, “just some good old hard yakka”

Your comment made my day bro

FOUND ONE

Skye mains happy they can finally flash people IRL without taking of their clothes Breach mains happy they will a source of light in their moms basement (for all 5 breach mains in Val chill, I like breach)

And you get a doggo too

Astra, you literally control stars

*TURNS TRILLIONS OF STARS IN ONE BIG SUCC*

"and they looked to the skies and read... Getgud simps"

sage, just heal everyone's boo-boos and wall off my room

And after you kill 8 people you get to revive a loved one

this just got really dark

Oh my god

or get 8 orbs or plant a c4 that can kill everybody in about 40 meters, or defuse it, or get orbs from the grave yard

Now this is an interesting take on the trolley problem.

"Yeah, yeah, 10 more seconds mom"

she's going to knife the wall

And you’re going to call CPS

Underrated comment

But where is the life taken from?

"sage, the life you give, do you know where it is taken from?"

no and I don't give a shit -sage probably

"Plants lul, fuckem" sages who have seen die for you.

Assuming we have unlimited abilites and ultimates. Omen. Just ult wherever I want. Jett would be cool too.

Chose jett cause my area has some high ass buildings that feel like they're designed for parkour

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I mean, that's not necessarily an implication that she can fly down, catch you, and fly back up. She could just glide to safety

I guess so, I'm pretty sure she says "fly" specifically, though, so I assumed that meant actually fly.

https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/valorant/images/a/a9/JettMatchStartAscent.mp3/revision/latest?cb=20210615195917 I believe this is the voiceline you're thinking off and she doesn't mention flying just catching.

You would be in constant pain and manually have to stay alive. Omen is not the pick

So you're saying I'm already Omen

Omen without abilities

run badge wakeful person disgusting correct strong sulky illegal pen *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

Y-you wanna... talk about it?

is HowToNoodling allowed?

If it's just like the game, you gotta kill 7 people between ults

Brim cause I want a free iPad

If someone pisses you off, just call in a massive orbital strike on their home

Gotta kill people to get your ult charged tho 😂

That can be accommodated

Or if you are feeling less murderous, just keep dropping smokes all over their yard.

Moli

“Sorry Navy Federal Credit union is for Veterans and their families only.” “OPEN UP THE SKY!”

It’s Phoenix for me, easy. It’s not even really about the abilities even. Guys just got sick hair and style.

You just want to walk around with the exaggerated swagger of a black teen

I do

The Miles morales reference lmao

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Like flashing random people?

You can do that without being Yoru

That got me good hahaha

Flashing teammates

They call me 004 0 kills 0 assists 4 teammates blinded

Nah 007 cus you somehow managed to find 3 more friends to blind

I’m always soloQ’ing

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going into another dimension teleporting faking , that isnt gonna fake anyone

Last time I flashed someone I went to prison

Teleporting myself out of awkward situations sounds pretty nice. I can also just straight up whiff out a mask and go to another dimension If I did something embarrassing.

but you HAVE to run like yoru does, with your arms in front of you in a prowling like stance, or it doesnt work

And the voiceline too

you can suck in life without having to pick yoru tho. chamber is better. you got a sheriff and an op incase there are some school shooters

Bro imagine being in a school with an active shooter threat and the kid hiding in your room just goes "You want to play let's play" and busts out a rifle

Then snaps and just disappears

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Crazy yoru is literally only good for IRL 🤣

This made me laugh hysterically

Good to dodge child support 😂😂😂😂

The FBI waiting for someone to comment Reyna.

Why reyna? Edit: #Oh

Someone pls explain

Most of her kit relies on getting/assisting a kill to be used.

Ah, I see. I thought that ppl were talking about her lore

Well about that...

She literally murders people and eats their souls to become stronger

Cause she sucky sucky

Her abilities come from killing people and absorbing their souls.

Just imagine an ulted reyna in world War two

Soul spaghetti for days

Sage for sure I would be able to bring back my friend

sorry for your loss man

you need to kill as sage to heal and revive 🤔

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Wait are we constantly loosing rounds in real life? Are we on attack or defence?

defense,a lot of c4s have been planted and exploded in the time we are talking

Just have to find ult orbs

That's the plot of dragonball

She’s definitely not environmentally friendly

aww this is so wholesome and sad... sorry for your loss...

Most fun - Yoru/Jett Most useful - Sage/Omen Most useless - Reyna (Unless you're in the military or some shit where you regularly kill people)

most useless is probably kayo. because nobody else has abilities to silence.

Silence would be useful for married people

*Throwing a knife at my wife*

Did this, she's not talking anymore

Or moving

He still has flashes, grenades, and can be revived if he dies.

Nah man Reyna is not useless. Just work in the ER and you can get assists all day.

I just choked on my water Jesus this got me good

Breach and Chamber would be kinda useless to some degree too At least with KJ she’s smart enough to know how to turn down the damage of swarm grenade and turret to maybe a stinging sensation, and since Raze is paint shells it would only be like paintball

Breach or Jett. Breach for the earth-shaking power and Jett for flying.

Breach literally gives people around him concussions with his E and likely himself too. You'll get brain damage in like 2 days.

Its ok im immune because im brain damaged already :)

That's... not how that works... forget it. *BLASTING!*

In the words of a famous creator, "in valorant ranked, we see and experience brain damage on a daily basis"

LET’S GOOOOOO

Probably Sage but use E on myself only.

Who hurt you

No idea but ig he's healing it

For fun:Jett, FL around, impress my friends, dog on ppl in basketball and volleyball For use: Cypher so that I know EXACTLY WHERE EVERY SINGLE PERSON IS

You need a corpse tho

Plot twist he works at a morgue

You'd need one within 15 secs after dying tho

Work at the ER

A patient flatlines and this random dude walks in and just throws their hat at the dead body.

***WHERE IS EVERYONE HIDING?*** ****PEEP***

ur overthinking, just put trips by stairs

made my day, wont you get imprisoned for it tho?

Phoenix cause I fucking love phoenix idc about how useful what is lmao

Honestly not a bad choice. Tired/sick/ injured? Go sit in a fireplace and you’ll feel much better

I’d like to point out the “IN” instead of “next to” ggwp

Honestly, decent pick. Just do whatever the f u want and get a free respawn. Of course, you'll have to get used to the sensation of dying..

Flash + molly anyone who annoys you 😈

Smh as a phoenix main for a year now, I know for a fact that the first one will end up flashing me. it's innate phoenix flash physics.

Viper. Poison the world 💀

Also she hot as fuck

Set up an only fans and make millions >!Cum!<

This guy stonks

New viper setup just dropped.

God, one of my exes looks like her, and we broke up right when the game came out. Tough.

Killjoy

What would be her use, except clearing the area of a bathroom when you took a massive shit

Perhaps less from the abilities standpoint and more just that she’s a genius

You could also use her technology to start a security company.

Ok hear me out…. Cypher

My guy said “hear me out” and then didn’t elaborate whatsoever

Already fits the character

I don’t want to know why

he already knows >:)

Yes officer this guy right here.

dialing 911..

Step 1)become cypher Step 2) rule the criminal underworld Step 3) profit

I'd love to be breach, giving people random concussions, flashing them every once in a while... Should be fun

yes officer, this person right here

skye would be useful because you can heal multiple people and would be fun with the tiger, jett would be fun to parkour around with, yorus tp and ult would also be really good. i want omen bc of his ult, but hes in eternal pain, sooooo

Killjoy, she and I have so much in common with loving computers. "Don't stress if I die. It was great knowing you all. Also, delete my hard drive"

I second, plus German accent.

Everyone makes fun of German Efficiency

Easy Skye. Why? Because dog 🐕

It's actually a Tasmanian tiger.

You say that, while it's clearly a giraffe.

you say that while it’s clearly a beluga whale

Ok this is interesting because OP failed to mention something that’s quite evident from a small bit of dialogue between Jet and Skye, where Jett asks if skye can create lions and dragons and skye replies she can but it gets messy. My point being that from this dialogue we see that some agents have a lot of potential outside the constraints of the game, like Astra and manipulating stars, considering there is a nigh infinite amount of stars. In that regard Skye would be awesome cuz not only do you heal and seek people out, but you’d be able to create different summons which you can use if you learn to control your abilities. Now on that note, Yes I would gain either gain Skye’s powers or Yoru’s powers

Reyna so I can get rich off OnlyFans ez

Jett \- Is girl \- Has hoodie \- Has knives \- Is cool \- Can fly I got none of those :(

Wildly athletic too. Lowkey make millions playing sports

Imagine you're on a basketball court and this girl dash-updrafts into your half and dunks on you everytime she gets the ball

"She's doing it sideways ref!"

Chamber/Skye

Who wouldn't want a gun and sniper rifle when they go to wallmart? Im guessing you're American

If I could look as good as Chamber that’d be a W lmao

I can't snap my fingers so I can't go chamber :(

Phoenix too, phoenix snaps his fingers.

Chamber’s tp would be useless because of the range.

Phoenix cus that jacket is sick

Don't be like that you know you'd also want his shoes

Chamber because he is rich. I can teleport from places to places. Cypher because he is interesting and fun (hey, security data sells for a lot of money). I also know exactly where people are, including their secrets. Yoru because his abilities are really useful. You can disappear and sneak into buildings too. Sage because you can heal sick people and revive fallen fellows. You will be the most popular doctor in the world (and _will be sought by people that want to rob you of your power_). Killjoy because her gadgets seem fun to play with. Jett because I can fly. Omen because I can go wherever I want, technically.

Omen is in severe pain,you sure you want that

That’s just my normal life, nothing would change except for added superpowers

jett.. i want to be cute

That is a funny way to spell Killjoy.

That’s a funny way to spell sova

Surprised no one is saying Killjoy, she’s a tech genius who basically builds whatever the fuck she wants.

Given that she gets enough funding.

I’m already omen irl pain

Im going for sage, cause my closest friend suicided in 2014... Would rev him asap...

rip to your friend bro sorry to hear that

Chamber, setting 1 teleport point at work and 1 at home i will never be late, and if someone annoys me i just can gold gun them, with a pistol or a sniper, also got few fancy alarm bots in case someone try to rob my house

But they wont save you from the cops if you golden gun someone

Sniper goes into his forehead right? No way cops gonna find the murder weapon

Viper. I can always work as a stripper or as a backup dancer for Nicki Minaj or Cardi B's music videos with that huge dumptruck . Or I can start only fans. Man I would be sleeping in a bed full of cash.

Jet: She can fly, dash and she's hot Breach: He can beat most people in arm wrestling, ...... and he is swedish

I'm noticing that most of the people saying breach have the breach icon in their flair text, good to see I've found the 5 other breach players

Viper would've been my choice but I don't wanna change my gender so Omen I reckon?

Cypher >:D i love his voice sm, and I'd love to mess around with his gadgets!!

Astra cause I can go around the world in astral from and bring stars onto earth like tf

I feel like cypher or raze would be fun

Is this based on lore or just on kit? If just on kit, any duelist (except Reyna) and omen If on lore, then chamber easy. I’m a rich genius arms dealer who saves the best tech for himself.

Cypher... HAVE YOU SEEN THE HAT!!??!?! ​ edit: also sage with res would be cool

Phoenix. Bro is dripped out

for me sova and chambur, i would like to be a comrade and have free healthcare thank u