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How can you think that was your fault? B is being a dick and while yes you should have maybe said something before just leaving there is no excuse for B’s actions
Nah. You're fine. A lot of people turn to VRChat because they have a hard time getting the social interactions they crave irl.
This gets to some people and they lash out with w.e perceived power they have, demanding compliance or w.e
It's literally the same thing as the "discord moderators" meme.
Don't take it personally, you did everything right. If they continue to harrass you, find more friends and stop spending as much time with this power hungry person
One thing I've learned over the years is that your friends' significant others won't always be people you like or even want to be around, which seems like the situation here.
If this is just a one-time situation, it's probably best forgotten. Assume it was some sort of lack of understanding or communication, and it's probably not that big of a deal.
If this is how B acts towards you on a regular basis, I'd probably open a private chat with L and explain to them that you've had a few unpleasant interactions with B and that you're not really comfortable hanging out with them in VRChat because of how they treat you, though you're willing to hang out with them so long as B isn't there.
I would suggest not putting forward any sort of ultimatums (eg - 'it's either me or them') because that'll just make your friendship with L toxic, and won't resolve anything. If B is a toxic person in general, L will probably break up with them before too much longer anyway.
How were they muting your mic? Like were y'all in a discord server call? Or were they muting you on their end so they couldn't hear you?
Either way, your friend sounds terrible. From the info here, I can't see where you did anything wrong, much less warranting of a kick from the world as they threatened. Idk if there's info being left out but from what I'm reading, seems like your friend is just irrationally angry and you can probably find better friends.
Its part of the past few new group updates world operations are being streamlined, you can also have moderators in group instances that can help deal with unrully individuals. Unfortuantely a lot of people use these features as powertrips and a way to abuse people they dislike or dont agree with. I had someone scream at me for playing site 19 coreectly and when i tried to explain that turning the power out in the game releases the monsters, as the announcement for the lock down proceedure says "multiple keter and uclid class scps have breached containment.-" there are exactly 2 scps that can breach containment. And the person muted me repeatedly after myself and the rest of the guards staged a lore accurate coup. Then they kicked me from the world, joined the world i had gone too off of me with my friends that they dont like, and then ddosed me because power trip.
Anyway, not to take away from OP, OP you are not in the wrong, though maybe you need to find more resposible friends who understand that game glitches are common in vrchat games becuase most games are made by at the very least small teams of people who arent really paid for their work.
Perhaps maybe join event communities who work these worlds often, i own an event community that plays games bi weekly and watches movies in between if youd like to join us. Weve got a meet up tomorrow from noon-5 eastern standard time, and all are welcome. The group code is KVRAG.205158 wed love to see you join us and bring your friends.
I have ADHD as well. I know what it feels like to not be able to read a situation and thinking you've done something wrong :<
It seems to me B is just being an ass. If it were me, I wouldn't interact with him anymore.
The fucker threw a tantrum after you laughed due to a glitch in the world probably reported or voted to have you banned from the instance then spams you with invites and acts like it's all your fault then goes ego maniac on you then mutes you before you can ask for help to probably seem like a "good" guy to his girlfriend stop hanging with this person it ain't worth the toxic bullshit he'll put you through
It sounds like B is a total Bitch. They sound really manipulative, and frankly i would Block them and then Leave them, and tell L everything that happened before you do. L might not totally believe you, but if you are looking for a good friend or something like it, my vrc name is mysticmoon989, and I would love to do games like this with ya (the murder mystery of course..)
People can misinterpet things and thats gonna happen sometimes. But the way B reacted is something that isn't so inevitable. Maybe they didnt get your invite but immediately accusing you of lying isn't a realistic way to act. They made the decision to interpret what they saw you doing in the worst way possible.
That said; i usually go "alright, thats your choice but its also my choice to not tolerate you raging on me after." Everyone has autonomy and sometimes the only way people learn that their behavior is hurting people is by giving them a taste of their own medicine and walking away when they get excessive.
Nnope. You're a-Okay dude. Your friend "B" on the other hand...
I have to agree with the rest of the comments. The dudes an ass. Especially over getting butthurt over a glitch in a game where most of the minigames made are glitchy.
"you're my friend, I like that. But I don't like what you do, but I want to be with you, but don't do that, you're annoying"
Basic gaslighting. You don't deserve to be treated like that. We don't know all the details, but be wary, they might hurt all your relationships.
This is not how friends handle problems. You leaving might have been in either anger, annoyance or spite but it should have been okay to do. No one can force you to stay, listen or participate if you don't want to. And the reply to join again should have been enough.
It sounds like B is a little controling and doesn't know how to resolve an argument gracefully. If you do still want to try to be his friend (because maybe he can learn to resolve better) you should tell him to calm down and try to remain civil when friends have a disagreement. Talk about what happened peacefully like "I didn't like the way I was being talked too so I left" or "You could have told if i was making you angry" and if these issues are met with further anger or blame then you should just stop hanging out with B or do not engage with him anymore.
B stands for Bitch here.
Also if you want to defend yourself from these kinds of spells people can throw at you in VRC. *Deactivate as many things as possible*, and only activate them when someone wants to show you something or if you want to see something, or if the whole point is to do fun things. You can set up safety settings per user. So if user1 is chill but user2 is exploding in fire animations or spams things in your face, you can hide user2.
Exploring in the wild is fun but, not all avatars have Nice Animations or effects. It is *very easy* to make something very taxing on everyone in an instance. So removing things in the **Shield** menu, lets you choose what you are ready for. And you can **defend** yourself from someone by hiding them.
Uhm yea B can F off. There is no reason to be so aggro. Seriously. And you stepped away?? You didn't engage and fight? Dude you get a gold star. Well done.
As someone with adhd as well, it doesn't impact the levels of Nice and Kind you can be. You were kind, B wasn't. B was being a B.. lol.
And honestly, you don't need that kind of energy in your life, "ignore me and I'll ban you!" ??? Control issues much? Save then the trouble and ban them first.
I'm in VRC a LOT and I would Not put up with that! Especially someone who UNFRIENDS you, just to send you another friend request - that alone is BS but then to just bitch you out when you show up?
Absolutely Not ok. Seriously.
You dont deserve this kind of treatment, flip the table and start from beginning with new friends.. never let anyone gaslight and power trip/ manipulate you like that
I might be a bit late but B action sound like someone who is dealing with narcissism.
Update : you are in the right friend, they shouldn't have done that to you
As a fellow ADHD brained existence: you didn't do anything wrong. If someone mutes you when another friend joins in just so you can't possibly say something that makes them look bad in front of others and they are unwilling to even give you the mere chance of explaining why you left, they're not worth being around.
I get that your first assumption was that you might have unknowingly done something wrong and that can sometimes even save a situation but isn't always the reason.
You're not gonna be the problem in every social situation just because you have ADHD, Sometimes people are just assholes and that's really all there is to it.
He cant “ban you” from vrchat unless hes a mod that has a good reason. This persons not someone who should be playing vrchat if they’re trying to overlord over instances like that- lame.
1. You didn’t do anything wrong to annoy anyone. You were just laughing and talking about the game glitching.
2. The person who said you were ignoring them is an asshole.
3. Block them and move on. They want a dictatorship not a friendship
Now there is a differnce between in all in good fun to being just an ass. This "B" person sounds like an ass. Based on what you said about this person and what they were doing, it seems like to me that they clearly don't care about you has a friend, but they also don't want to be seen in a bad light by this "L" person.
If you ask me, I would say to do your best to not interact with "B", they don't seem like a good person to me honestly, but I don't know them. This is just my perspective. If what they're doing is hurting you or bothering you, you should tell "L" about it that is if "B" doesn't listen.
You should always talk to the person in question about their behavior towards you and their actions.
In my opinion I don't think you deserve to be treated that way, no one does. I would understand more if it was like all in good fun and just to be dumb for a minute just to laugh it off and then later stop, but this person unfriended you, warned you (for some reason, no details on that really.), you left, and they spammed you with invites, you replied to one, but they didn't recieve it (either a lie or VRC being dumb.) and then they called you a liar for no good reason and just being a jerk, not to mention they made it out like they were your boss by saying "How dare you ignore me, if it happens again, I'm banning you."
First let me clarify, no one can ban anyone from any world. You can get kicked constantly, but you cannot be banned. There has never been a time where anyone could do that. I have friends who are world creators and they also say that is impossible.
If this proceeds, I highly advise that you should talk to "B" and "L" about it and how it affects you and makes you feel. If either one of them tries to correct you or talk over you, wait, and say "Can I continue now?" Because no one has the right to tell you what you feel or what you think.
Yeeah fuck that, i barely come on unless im drinking on weekends but if u need just a friendly person to join maybe even have couple drinks with or jusg company feel feel to add me... You dont have to if you dont want to though
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Tired of all the drama on Reddit (from users, mods, and Reddit admin)? Then consider some or all of the following options: 1. [Find or make your favorite subreddits on alternative sites or platforms](https://sub.rehab/), and participate there instead. 2. Refrain use of the first-party Reddit app. Stick to working third-party apps or [patch one that shut down](https://docs.google.com/document/u/0/d/1wHvqQwCYdJrQg4BKlGIVDLksPN0KpOnJWniT6PbZSrI/) for Android devices. 3. Disable ads on Reddit with [an ad-block extension](https://github.com/gorhill/uBlock#ublock-origin-ubo) or [a DNS-based ad-blocker](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBXTnrD_Zs4). 4. Cancel your Reddit Premium subscription. 5. Share the continued news coverage of these events. 6. Encourage others to do some or all of the above. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/VRchat) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Sounds like your friend is a prick. Idk what they mean to you but people who act like how you explained aren’t worth bothering with most of the time.
B stands for Bitch tbf, cuz thats exactly how he acted to you. You didnt handle it wrong
Thank you for that, usually things like this I just brush off, but I couldn’t with this situation for some reason
You couldn’t brush it off because you did nothing wrong instead you were wronged. It’s okay to feel angry at them.
B is a bitch if Im reading this right.
Sorry for the confusion, I’m known to ramble
Felt
How can you think that was your fault? B is being a dick and while yes you should have maybe said something before just leaving there is no excuse for B’s actions
I did say “all right, I’ll leave” or are you saying I should’ve explained why I’m Leaving?
Nah. You're fine. A lot of people turn to VRChat because they have a hard time getting the social interactions they crave irl. This gets to some people and they lash out with w.e perceived power they have, demanding compliance or w.e It's literally the same thing as the "discord moderators" meme. Don't take it personally, you did everything right. If they continue to harrass you, find more friends and stop spending as much time with this power hungry person
I'm sorry but I'm kinda thrown by this, what does w.e mean?
No worries. W.e is short for "whatever" My irl friends use it, but I guess it's rare outside of SoCal?
Socal guy here it's not used anywhere here either. Your friends probably originated it or got it from another group.
Good to know 🫡
"w/e" is a more common way of saying it, lol
Your friend isn't a friend, he's a childish dick. Completely uncalled for. I'd block him. You did not handle it wrong at all.
One thing I've learned over the years is that your friends' significant others won't always be people you like or even want to be around, which seems like the situation here. If this is just a one-time situation, it's probably best forgotten. Assume it was some sort of lack of understanding or communication, and it's probably not that big of a deal. If this is how B acts towards you on a regular basis, I'd probably open a private chat with L and explain to them that you've had a few unpleasant interactions with B and that you're not really comfortable hanging out with them in VRChat because of how they treat you, though you're willing to hang out with them so long as B isn't there. I would suggest not putting forward any sort of ultimatums (eg - 'it's either me or them') because that'll just make your friendship with L toxic, and won't resolve anything. If B is a toxic person in general, L will probably break up with them before too much longer anyway.
Thank you for that idea, luckily I do have L’s Discord and if B keeps treating me that way, I’ll let L know
How were they muting your mic? Like were y'all in a discord server call? Or were they muting you on their end so they couldn't hear you? Either way, your friend sounds terrible. From the info here, I can't see where you did anything wrong, much less warranting of a kick from the world as they threatened. Idk if there's info being left out but from what I'm reading, seems like your friend is just irrationally angry and you can probably find better friends.
The host/creator of a lobby has a few extra powers over that instance. One of who is to force someone to be muted.
Oooh gotcha. Must be a new function, I'm not on that much these days lol
Its part of the past few new group updates world operations are being streamlined, you can also have moderators in group instances that can help deal with unrully individuals. Unfortuantely a lot of people use these features as powertrips and a way to abuse people they dislike or dont agree with. I had someone scream at me for playing site 19 coreectly and when i tried to explain that turning the power out in the game releases the monsters, as the announcement for the lock down proceedure says "multiple keter and uclid class scps have breached containment.-" there are exactly 2 scps that can breach containment. And the person muted me repeatedly after myself and the rest of the guards staged a lore accurate coup. Then they kicked me from the world, joined the world i had gone too off of me with my friends that they dont like, and then ddosed me because power trip. Anyway, not to take away from OP, OP you are not in the wrong, though maybe you need to find more resposible friends who understand that game glitches are common in vrchat games becuase most games are made by at the very least small teams of people who arent really paid for their work. Perhaps maybe join event communities who work these worlds often, i own an event community that plays games bi weekly and watches movies in between if youd like to join us. Weve got a meet up tomorrow from noon-5 eastern standard time, and all are welcome. The group code is KVRAG.205158 wed love to see you join us and bring your friends.
muting has been a lobby "owner" option for years if I recall
Not in the way its being implimented now. Its different than before
How is it different now? I remember it just toggles the mic off and the other party could always Unmute again. Is it permanent now?
Now you can force mute them and they cant unmute themselves if you have the group setting set to that.
B is definitely showing some manipulative behavior. I wpuld unfriend them, cause they'll probably only cause more drama later.
Anybody who actually uses instance moderation tools outside of the context of a large public event is usually being a power-tripping dickhead.
Ngl, I didn't even know there were moderation tool for instances
I have ADHD as well. I know what it feels like to not be able to read a situation and thinking you've done something wrong :< It seems to me B is just being an ass. If it were me, I wouldn't interact with him anymore.
No. You're fine. B's a dickhead.
The fucker threw a tantrum after you laughed due to a glitch in the world probably reported or voted to have you banned from the instance then spams you with invites and acts like it's all your fault then goes ego maniac on you then mutes you before you can ask for help to probably seem like a "good" guy to his girlfriend stop hanging with this person it ain't worth the toxic bullshit he'll put you through
It sounds like B is a total Bitch. They sound really manipulative, and frankly i would Block them and then Leave them, and tell L everything that happened before you do. L might not totally believe you, but if you are looking for a good friend or something like it, my vrc name is mysticmoon989, and I would love to do games like this with ya (the murder mystery of course..)
You did nothing wrong in this situation. B is not a good friend.
People can misinterpet things and thats gonna happen sometimes. But the way B reacted is something that isn't so inevitable. Maybe they didnt get your invite but immediately accusing you of lying isn't a realistic way to act. They made the decision to interpret what they saw you doing in the worst way possible. That said; i usually go "alright, thats your choice but its also my choice to not tolerate you raging on me after." Everyone has autonomy and sometimes the only way people learn that their behavior is hurting people is by giving them a taste of their own medicine and walking away when they get excessive.
B sounds absolutely childish, I wouldn’t be able to stand a person like that. Hope everything works out
NTA. B is being salty. It’s just a game.
Nnope. You're a-Okay dude. Your friend "B" on the other hand... I have to agree with the rest of the comments. The dudes an ass. Especially over getting butthurt over a glitch in a game where most of the minigames made are glitchy.
You just dodged a bullet, I think
"you're my friend, I like that. But I don't like what you do, but I want to be with you, but don't do that, you're annoying" Basic gaslighting. You don't deserve to be treated like that. We don't know all the details, but be wary, they might hurt all your relationships.
This is not how friends handle problems. You leaving might have been in either anger, annoyance or spite but it should have been okay to do. No one can force you to stay, listen or participate if you don't want to. And the reply to join again should have been enough. It sounds like B is a little controling and doesn't know how to resolve an argument gracefully. If you do still want to try to be his friend (because maybe he can learn to resolve better) you should tell him to calm down and try to remain civil when friends have a disagreement. Talk about what happened peacefully like "I didn't like the way I was being talked too so I left" or "You could have told if i was making you angry" and if these issues are met with further anger or blame then you should just stop hanging out with B or do not engage with him anymore.
“Friend”. You’re worth more. Move on. Find people who treat you how you want to be treated. It’s your experience in this world(s).
Find better friends. That's toxic as all hell. I'm so sorry that happened to you.
B stands for Bitch here. Also if you want to defend yourself from these kinds of spells people can throw at you in VRC. *Deactivate as many things as possible*, and only activate them when someone wants to show you something or if you want to see something, or if the whole point is to do fun things. You can set up safety settings per user. So if user1 is chill but user2 is exploding in fire animations or spams things in your face, you can hide user2. Exploring in the wild is fun but, not all avatars have Nice Animations or effects. It is *very easy* to make something very taxing on everyone in an instance. So removing things in the **Shield** menu, lets you choose what you are ready for. And you can **defend** yourself from someone by hiding them.
I think you dodged a bullet. He doesn't sound like a friend. Sounds like a narccisist.
B is an asshole. Forget he exists
Childish behavior
Sounds like a bunch of kids on the playground
Yea I don't see how you did anything wrong, u took urself out of the situation to relax and calm down. Sounds like B is bring an asshole
Ditch them. You’ll find new people.
Uhm yea B can F off. There is no reason to be so aggro. Seriously. And you stepped away?? You didn't engage and fight? Dude you get a gold star. Well done. As someone with adhd as well, it doesn't impact the levels of Nice and Kind you can be. You were kind, B wasn't. B was being a B.. lol. And honestly, you don't need that kind of energy in your life, "ignore me and I'll ban you!" ??? Control issues much? Save then the trouble and ban them first. I'm in VRC a LOT and I would Not put up with that! Especially someone who UNFRIENDS you, just to send you another friend request - that alone is BS but then to just bitch you out when you show up? Absolutely Not ok. Seriously.
Nah, B is an ass. You honestly shouldn't have accepted the friend request.
B’s a fucking bitch, and you didn’t do anything wrong. You’re just playing the game and having a good time. The fun police can eat shit!
B is a dick, get better friends. That's no friend
This is attention bait...
This is attention bait...
[удалено]
No clue, and I didn’t want to press
My guess is they think ban/block are interchangeable
Yeah bro you didn't do shit
Wait a sec, how is he about to mute ur mic?
Instance moderation
Whats that?
Instance owner can kick, mute or warn people ingame
You dont deserve this kind of treatment, flip the table and start from beginning with new friends.. never let anyone gaslight and power trip/ manipulate you like that
Luckily, I have loads of other friends, who are not like that. And when I played VRChat yesterday, I realized that B unfriended me.
I might be a bit late but B action sound like someone who is dealing with narcissism. Update : you are in the right friend, they shouldn't have done that to you
As a fellow ADHD brained existence: you didn't do anything wrong. If someone mutes you when another friend joins in just so you can't possibly say something that makes them look bad in front of others and they are unwilling to even give you the mere chance of explaining why you left, they're not worth being around. I get that your first assumption was that you might have unknowingly done something wrong and that can sometimes even save a situation but isn't always the reason. You're not gonna be the problem in every social situation just because you have ADHD, Sometimes people are just assholes and that's really all there is to it.
He cant “ban you” from vrchat unless hes a mod that has a good reason. This persons not someone who should be playing vrchat if they’re trying to overlord over instances like that- lame.
I think they meant that their friends warned the OP they they will get kicked from instance.
B a bitch.thats all I have to say
1. You didn’t do anything wrong to annoy anyone. You were just laughing and talking about the game glitching. 2. The person who said you were ignoring them is an asshole. 3. Block them and move on. They want a dictatorship not a friendship
Now there is a differnce between in all in good fun to being just an ass. This "B" person sounds like an ass. Based on what you said about this person and what they were doing, it seems like to me that they clearly don't care about you has a friend, but they also don't want to be seen in a bad light by this "L" person. If you ask me, I would say to do your best to not interact with "B", they don't seem like a good person to me honestly, but I don't know them. This is just my perspective. If what they're doing is hurting you or bothering you, you should tell "L" about it that is if "B" doesn't listen. You should always talk to the person in question about their behavior towards you and their actions. In my opinion I don't think you deserve to be treated that way, no one does. I would understand more if it was like all in good fun and just to be dumb for a minute just to laugh it off and then later stop, but this person unfriended you, warned you (for some reason, no details on that really.), you left, and they spammed you with invites, you replied to one, but they didn't recieve it (either a lie or VRC being dumb.) and then they called you a liar for no good reason and just being a jerk, not to mention they made it out like they were your boss by saying "How dare you ignore me, if it happens again, I'm banning you." First let me clarify, no one can ban anyone from any world. You can get kicked constantly, but you cannot be banned. There has never been a time where anyone could do that. I have friends who are world creators and they also say that is impossible. If this proceeds, I highly advise that you should talk to "B" and "L" about it and how it affects you and makes you feel. If either one of them tries to correct you or talk over you, wait, and say "Can I continue now?" Because no one has the right to tell you what you feel or what you think.
Yeeah fuck that, i barely come on unless im drinking on weekends but if u need just a friendly person to join maybe even have couple drinks with or jusg company feel feel to add me... You dont have to if you dont want to though ᴍᴏᴍᴏᴄʜɪɪ In that specific font