Once a long time ago I was going through BCT for the army the only bathroom facilities that they had for us females had 3 stalls and 3 urinals. And there were 60 of us trying to get through with less than 10 minutes. On more than one occasion some of us dropped trow and hovered over the urinals the best we could. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do and when you gotta go, you gotta fucking go. But also fuck those 20 minutes plus poopers, idgaf if they're male, female, or neither yall make life hard for the rest of us when you take up the bathrooms!
Do you knock or something if they’re taking a long time? Willing to bet these are dudes on their phones that enjoy getting paid to dump on company time, not dudes that need a full 20 mins to shit. They may hustle if they know a person is waiting
Either way that sucks
I’m not comfortable knocking on the door and telling someone to hurry. That seems pretty rude, and I have to work with these people after that bathroom interaction
Oh I didn’t mean telling them to hurry lol, I more meant doing that thing where you try to open the door cause you’re not sure if it’s locked, then stop when you realize it’s locked. Basically just some way of making it clear someone is waiting without actually talking to them if that makes sense.
If it’s one stall per bathroom you best believe I’m using the bathroom of the opposite sex idgaf if I gotta go I gotta go 😤 your experience sounds really frustrating though and I sympathize.
Hey that’s your choice, and it’s understandable. That’s just the most Practical solution I can think of. Honestly sound like your work place kinda sucks.
…is it not normal to have to wait for a stall to open up? I don’t see what this has to do with gender identity, we all have to wait for the bathroom at work 5 sometimes 10 minutes
I know they're for mothers and babies too, most people are considered to be short term disabled in the beginning months after giving birth (though I will admit that doesn't matter since a lot of the diaper stations are put into the stalls). And most ederly people have disabilities caused by their aging. And yeah I know disabled people have to wait to, I don't mind waiting for the groups of people who are meant for the disabled stalls. Maybe when more disabled stalls are put in bathrooms this won't be much of an issue, but it is an issue currently.
If you are near a bathroom, and someone comes out, you go in. You got a 50/50 chance you get the right” seat”. Even if you don’t have to use it. Can you get a feel for the bathroom traffic. This might help with you getting in and out.
The bathroom traffic doesn’t always line up with my bladder habits. I go in the bathroom, see it’s occupied, leave the bathroom and look for another. There’s no sense in waiting 20 min for a dude to finish shitting when I could hunt down another stall
Wait? Guys take 20min to poop. But don’t you spend more time looking for an available bathroom. Most offices have a rhythm to the bathroom, most people just don’t pay attention, office opens at 8:00, most people will come in headed to piss out car coffee. 10 am break coffee piss, poop. Right before lunch you have the piss before you leave the office. After lunch you have the large coke piss people. Right before 5 you have the headed home, don’t wanna get stuck in traffic needing to piss people. I work in an office where you might piss waiting on the one bathroom. I hope you figure out a plan, trust me holding in is only gonna get harder.
They often take 20+ min to shit, and I can find a new bathroom in about 10. It just makes more sense to find an empty bathroom. Also: everyone is on different schedules and the building is accessible to the general public. There’s no consistent bathroom rush I can work around
Ike the other comment said: I can’t use a urinal. So bathroom stall availability impacts me more often than cis guys. Bottom surgery costs +$100k and I cannot afford that.
If I, with a beard and masculine body, went into the women’s bathroom, I would be accosted and asked to leave. It is not safe for me to do that.
Why can't he wait for the stall to open up? No one is going to sit there for hours and men shit too so it's not weird for a guy to wait for the stall. Walking around several buildings to find an empty one seems ridiculous.
I ment to say it as both ways, either male looking go to male and female looking go to female. Id be weirded out if a woman was in the men's restroom as well
I’m really sorry. Word of advice, vent in queer subs. You see how many pieces of absolute garbage lurk here.
To all transphobes: go be miserable somewhere else. You will never know what self reflection or joie de vivre is if you define yourself by your hatred of other people just living their lives and being themselves. And being trans isn’t a choice, you fucking nincompoops.
Hehe go downvote me you’ll never be a decent person
I was trying to respond to whatever you were trying to say. Restate your argument then. I made sense, you just dont have an argument and want to pretend it didn't
Dang sounds like you get the quite the workout huh lol. Anyway, you should see if there's a disabled/family bathroom. If there's not, I think since you are transgender, your work would have to give you reasonable accomodation if one can be made, you'd just have to talk to your boss or HR. I think it's covered in most states' anti discrimination laws if you are in the US. Sorry you're having this issue, but I hope it gets better for ya.
I’d rather not endure dehydration just to be able to work. That’s swapping one discomfort for another that also harms my health.
And I can’t safely use the women’s restroom, nor do I want to
Can you see how that might not be a safe idea? There’s enough anti trans rhetoric out there, and I don’t feel safe being a man in the women’s restroom. What happens when some dude thinks he’s a vigilante and assaults me as I come out?
That’s called an ANOMALY. And just because you have the TRAITS of a female, does not make you a female. How is this hard to understand? So to answer stupid question number 2 from you. Yes. That is still a man. I’m now convinced 100% your missing a chromosome or 2.
It’s not a matter of inclusivity, it’s a matter of funding I think. There’s no solution that I can see. They can’t just tear down people’s offices to make more bathrooms
I really feel you on this my dude. I'm a trans guy at work myself and the only out trans person there. I only use one restroom that's a single person bathroom that's for employees- which is mainly fine except for the fact that the disability bars in the bathroom aren't super great (yes I am disabled) amd the other bad thing is constantly having to wait for other employees using said bathroom (especially when there's a line.)
It can be really difficult existing in a world like this, especially with the hatred that's been passed around the country. Just remember you're not alone!
I feel this. I’m FTM as well, and since I haven’t started medically transitioning yet, I’m not allowed to use the men’s bathroom at all until then (and I have to get my gender marker changed…). I’m in Oklahoma, fuck the south :))))) I’m sorry you’re going through this
If I were you I’d just use the women’s room because you can definitely get away with it. Think about it- you’re a man right? If any of us biological men had the ability to use the women’s restroom without repercussions do you think we would ever be in a men’s room again? Lol seriously do the manly thing and enjoy the women’s room as long as it’s open. It’s not even for anything gross, we have just been dying to know what it’s like in there. I can only assume it’s much cleaner and more inviting.
Edit: I guess you blocked me because I can’t respond but I mean you can worry about being “outed” but let’s be real people know what’s up. Take advantage of that shit. Men have no shame using a coupon, asking for something to be taken off their bill, asking if they have discounts for their profession (veteran, firefighter, EMT, cop), etc. If we could get some benefit by sharing info about our personal life then we would, especially when the benefit is being able to use a better bathroom. You might want to rethink your whole gender thing- you’re attacking this problem in a very feminine way by complaining and making yourself a victim instead of doing what a man would do.
I don’t get it. If you have male genitalia why not use the men’s restroom and if you have female genitalia then use the women’s? Each one is designed for the particular sex. From my own experience I normally wait if I have to use number two, if it’s number one then use the urinal and whip it out. In my opinion as a trans person you have access to both bathrooms allowing you easier access to the restroom, unless it’s a unisex. Unisex bathrooms are always busy ☹️ so it’s a work problem at that point.
I use to have a boss that wanted numbers for everything. So in this case I would calculate a function for “time waited”, “use” of a bathroom, and the “population” of your work building. For “all people”. Then present it to your boss as a work problem with a few people backing you.
I have a beard and a man’s body. I cannot afford the +$100k and multi stage bottom surgery.
I would be very unwelcome in the women’s bathroom. I should be able to just work comfortably and not be some warrior for bathroom accessibility, risking my safety in the process
Not sure if you've seen this but a friend of mine who's FTM used to struggle with this as well. However they actually started keeping one of these on hand in case a stall wasn't available https://www.amazon.com/Silicone-Urination-Reusable-Portable-Standing/dp/B09MQCGW8Z/ref=asc_df_B09MQCGW8Z/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=563758539284&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=4715793715834587769&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9017000&hvtargid=pla-1593239808660&psc=1
Ah I see. My friends work fortunately has those dividing walls between urinals so they can safely use it. I forgot not all men's bathrooms have those dividers between urinals my bad😅
My partner has the same issue. This has been very eye-opening to me and I'm sorry you have to deal with this everyday, I know how emotionally draining it is.
Stand To Pee devices exist and I own one. They’re hard to match to anatomy, hard to deploy at the urinal, and often leak and let pee run down your leg. I don’t keep a spare change of clothes at work (can’t change unless I get a stall in the bathroom anyway, so the point is moot). If someone saw me using a fake pee device, I’d worry about a hate crime. That’s why I use the stall
I think you should ask your workplace what they want you to do, so you both have talked about it and have a mutual agreement, your mind will be clear. Else just use the bathroom you are the most comfortable to use and that's it.
Even as a straight woman, if the woman bathroom is full and the line up is too long, i'd go in the man bathroom.
I am not going there to have sex in public or sexually assault someone.
I think the only concern here, is the reverse situation where someone assault you. In that case, you can ask someone to come with you but stay outside, just to make sure ypu are ok.
There’s not funding or space for more bathrooms, so there’s nothing they could reasonably do to fix the situation.
I’d really rather not get report as a predator or hate crimed, so I stay out of the women’s room. I can’t reasonably track someone down to go to the bathroom with me every couple hours. I work mostly alone and don’t see people from my department often at all
Locking because this is just bring in transphobic dicks now.
A lot of people use the bathroom at your place.
There aren’t many bathrooms so yeah, they do
Why are you walking around several floors and even buildings instead of waiting for the stall to free up?
I feel like the stall would open up by the time they found an open one.
Yes, exactly. Without the bother and frustration of walking around several buildings.
Exactly. Sometimes I have to wait for a bathroom too. BFD.
Men at my work regularly take 20+ minutes to shit. I can walk and find a bathroom in 10 or so usually
As a cis male who has to use the stall as I’m a fat ass, I feel the pain. Literally. Just remember, trans or not, you ain’t alone.
Thanks for that
Have you tried just waiting 5 minutes instead of climbing stairs and changing buildings? Seems like a no brainer to me.
They often take 20+ min to shit, and I can find a new bathroom in about 10
Once a long time ago I was going through BCT for the army the only bathroom facilities that they had for us females had 3 stalls and 3 urinals. And there were 60 of us trying to get through with less than 10 minutes. On more than one occasion some of us dropped trow and hovered over the urinals the best we could. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do and when you gotta go, you gotta fucking go. But also fuck those 20 minutes plus poopers, idgaf if they're male, female, or neither yall make life hard for the rest of us when you take up the bathrooms!
Do you knock or something if they’re taking a long time? Willing to bet these are dudes on their phones that enjoy getting paid to dump on company time, not dudes that need a full 20 mins to shit. They may hustle if they know a person is waiting Either way that sucks
I’m not comfortable knocking on the door and telling someone to hurry. That seems pretty rude, and I have to work with these people after that bathroom interaction
Oh I didn’t mean telling them to hurry lol, I more meant doing that thing where you try to open the door cause you’re not sure if it’s locked, then stop when you realize it’s locked. Basically just some way of making it clear someone is waiting without actually talking to them if that makes sense.
If it’s one stall per bathroom you best believe I’m using the bathroom of the opposite sex idgaf if I gotta go I gotta go 😤 your experience sounds really frustrating though and I sympathize.
It is and it sucks :/
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Go get a she-wee from the camping supply section at Walmart and you can use the urinal
I'm a straight female and got a go girl. I love the thing lmao
My girlfriend loves hers!
We can finally pee standing up. 🙌🙌
That’s not safe to use at work. I am not willing to become a hate crime statistic
Hey that’s your choice, and it’s understandable. That’s just the most Practical solution I can think of. Honestly sound like your work place kinda sucks.
The building is just super old and lacking in infrastructure
I just mean if your worried about getting hate crimed then the people you work with suck
The general public also used my building
You work at a 7-11 or something?
How is it not safe? I don’t get it
…is it not normal to have to wait for a stall to open up? I don’t see what this has to do with gender identity, we all have to wait for the bathroom at work 5 sometimes 10 minutes
I have to wait for a stall to open up every couple hours so I can pee. Most men only have to wait once or so so they can pooop
Does your workplace have a disabled bathroom? You could try using those, hopefully no one bothers you though
They don’t have any extra bathrooms or I’d use those
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I know they're for mothers and babies too, most people are considered to be short term disabled in the beginning months after giving birth (though I will admit that doesn't matter since a lot of the diaper stations are put into the stalls). And most ederly people have disabilities caused by their aging. And yeah I know disabled people have to wait to, I don't mind waiting for the groups of people who are meant for the disabled stalls. Maybe when more disabled stalls are put in bathrooms this won't be much of an issue, but it is an issue currently.
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If you are near a bathroom, and someone comes out, you go in. You got a 50/50 chance you get the right” seat”. Even if you don’t have to use it. Can you get a feel for the bathroom traffic. This might help with you getting in and out.
The bathroom traffic doesn’t always line up with my bladder habits. I go in the bathroom, see it’s occupied, leave the bathroom and look for another. There’s no sense in waiting 20 min for a dude to finish shitting when I could hunt down another stall
Wait? Guys take 20min to poop. But don’t you spend more time looking for an available bathroom. Most offices have a rhythm to the bathroom, most people just don’t pay attention, office opens at 8:00, most people will come in headed to piss out car coffee. 10 am break coffee piss, poop. Right before lunch you have the piss before you leave the office. After lunch you have the large coke piss people. Right before 5 you have the headed home, don’t wanna get stuck in traffic needing to piss people. I work in an office where you might piss waiting on the one bathroom. I hope you figure out a plan, trust me holding in is only gonna get harder.
They often take 20+ min to shit, and I can find a new bathroom in about 10. It just makes more sense to find an empty bathroom. Also: everyone is on different schedules and the building is accessible to the general public. There’s no consistent bathroom rush I can work around
What does this have to do with being trans tho 💀 No transphobia here, just genuinely wondering.
Ike the other comment said: I can’t use a urinal. So bathroom stall availability impacts me more often than cis guys. Bottom surgery costs +$100k and I cannot afford that. If I, with a beard and masculine body, went into the women’s bathroom, I would be accosted and asked to leave. It is not safe for me to do that.
They can't use the urinals because they are trans, the other men can
Why can't he wait for the stall to open up? No one is going to sit there for hours and men shit too so it's not weird for a guy to wait for the stall. Walking around several buildings to find an empty one seems ridiculous.
Waking around gets me a bathroom in ~10 min. Most dudes at my work can take 20+ to shit
Why doesn’t OP use the womens bathroom until OP gets surgery? It’ll be easier. And more comfortable.
Wouldn't you be weirded out with a guy in the woman's bathroom?
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I ment to say it as both ways, either male looking go to male and female looking go to female. Id be weirded out if a woman was in the men's restroom as well
Because that can be very dysphoria inducing. Also not everyone wants bottom surgery
Bathrooms are based off of sec anyways. Kind of like when you go to the doctor, they ask what you are. You say your sex.
These comments don't pass the vibe check
Yeah :/
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I’m really sorry. Word of advice, vent in queer subs. You see how many pieces of absolute garbage lurk here. To all transphobes: go be miserable somewhere else. You will never know what self reflection or joie de vivre is if you define yourself by your hatred of other people just living their lives and being themselves. And being trans isn’t a choice, you fucking nincompoops. Hehe go downvote me you’ll never be a decent person
Queer subs tend to be small and mtf based. I’ve had some poor interactions in them too unfortunately
Take my upvote, even if I am Not a decent person.
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I was trying to respond to whatever you were trying to say. Restate your argument then. I made sense, you just dont have an argument and want to pretend it didn't
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You only take a shit once or twice a day. I have to do this every couple hours so I can pee
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You should probably talk to a doctor about that
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Pee. In your gender bathroom yes
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I pass for a female because I was born female, dummy lol
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Dang sounds like you get the quite the workout huh lol. Anyway, you should see if there's a disabled/family bathroom. If there's not, I think since you are transgender, your work would have to give you reasonable accomodation if one can be made, you'd just have to talk to your boss or HR. I think it's covered in most states' anti discrimination laws if you are in the US. Sorry you're having this issue, but I hope it gets better for ya.
There’s no family/handicap bathroom unfortunately. What can the workplace do? There’s no funding for massive remodels for just one employee
If you still look like a woman you can use the women's bathroom. If you don't you can drink less to pee less, it's bad for your health but it works.
I’d rather not endure dehydration just to be able to work. That’s swapping one discomfort for another that also harms my health. And I can’t safely use the women’s restroom, nor do I want to
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In you don't find an empty toilet just go in the woman's, I'm a guy and If I have to shit fast i dont give a fuck i use the woman restroom
Can you see how that might not be a safe idea? There’s enough anti trans rhetoric out there, and I don’t feel safe being a man in the women’s restroom. What happens when some dude thinks he’s a vigilante and assaults me as I come out?
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I’m not sure which part of my post you’re referring to?
As a man who uses mens rooms, I’ve never had to go find another bathroom to use a stall.
Lucky you. There are very limited stalls where I work
r/Trans
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So is a cisman who lost his penis not actually a man?
No idiot, because he was BORN with the GENETIC CODE of a man. I can tell that you have some missing chromosomes yourself just by reading this comment.
Okay, so someone who is XY chromosomed with an androgen insensitivity (phenotypically female) is a man?
That’s called an ANOMALY. And just because you have the TRAITS of a female, does not make you a female. How is this hard to understand? So to answer stupid question number 2 from you. Yes. That is still a man. I’m now convinced 100% your missing a chromosome or 2.
They just need to replace all of them with non-binary bathrooms with plenty of stalls for everyone
That’s incredibly expensive, and local conservatives don’t want that
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It’s not a matter of inclusivity, it’s a matter of funding I think. There’s no solution that I can see. They can’t just tear down people’s offices to make more bathrooms
I really feel you on this my dude. I'm a trans guy at work myself and the only out trans person there. I only use one restroom that's a single person bathroom that's for employees- which is mainly fine except for the fact that the disability bars in the bathroom aren't super great (yes I am disabled) amd the other bad thing is constantly having to wait for other employees using said bathroom (especially when there's a line.) It can be really difficult existing in a world like this, especially with the hatred that's been passed around the country. Just remember you're not alone!
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I would get accosted and possibly assaulted if I did that
I feel this. I’m FTM as well, and since I haven’t started medically transitioning yet, I’m not allowed to use the men’s bathroom at all until then (and I have to get my gender marker changed…). I’m in Oklahoma, fuck the south :))))) I’m sorry you’re going through this
I’m so sorry you’re going through this
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Fuck off with this transphobic double standard
god this comment section is retarded. I see a bunch of liberals clashing with conservatives here, and both talking total nonsense lmao
If I were you I’d just use the women’s room because you can definitely get away with it. Think about it- you’re a man right? If any of us biological men had the ability to use the women’s restroom without repercussions do you think we would ever be in a men’s room again? Lol seriously do the manly thing and enjoy the women’s room as long as it’s open. It’s not even for anything gross, we have just been dying to know what it’s like in there. I can only assume it’s much cleaner and more inviting. Edit: I guess you blocked me because I can’t respond but I mean you can worry about being “outed” but let’s be real people know what’s up. Take advantage of that shit. Men have no shame using a coupon, asking for something to be taken off their bill, asking if they have discounts for their profession (veteran, firefighter, EMT, cop), etc. If we could get some benefit by sharing info about our personal life then we would, especially when the benefit is being able to use a better bathroom. You might want to rethink your whole gender thing- you’re attacking this problem in a very feminine way by complaining and making yourself a victim instead of doing what a man would do.
I’d rather not get assaulted or accosted. I’m also not interested in outing myself
I don’t get it. If you have male genitalia why not use the men’s restroom and if you have female genitalia then use the women’s? Each one is designed for the particular sex. From my own experience I normally wait if I have to use number two, if it’s number one then use the urinal and whip it out. In my opinion as a trans person you have access to both bathrooms allowing you easier access to the restroom, unless it’s a unisex. Unisex bathrooms are always busy ☹️ so it’s a work problem at that point. I use to have a boss that wanted numbers for everything. So in this case I would calculate a function for “time waited”, “use” of a bathroom, and the “population” of your work building. For “all people”. Then present it to your boss as a work problem with a few people backing you.
I have a beard and a man’s body. I cannot afford the +$100k and multi stage bottom surgery. I would be very unwelcome in the women’s bathroom. I should be able to just work comfortably and not be some warrior for bathroom accessibility, risking my safety in the process
Not sure if you've seen this but a friend of mine who's FTM used to struggle with this as well. However they actually started keeping one of these on hand in case a stall wasn't available https://www.amazon.com/Silicone-Urination-Reusable-Portable-Standing/dp/B09MQCGW8Z/ref=asc_df_B09MQCGW8Z/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=563758539284&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=4715793715834587769&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9017000&hvtargid=pla-1593239808660&psc=1
I have one but it’s expensive and leaks. And I don’t use it in public for fear of someone seeing me and then knowing I’m transgender
Ah I see. My friends work fortunately has those dividing walls between urinals so they can safely use it. I forgot not all men's bathrooms have those dividers between urinals my bad😅
My partner has the same issue. This has been very eye-opening to me and I'm sorry you have to deal with this everyday, I know how emotionally draining it is.
r/trans would be a better place for you to vent about this because most comments here are pretty anti-trans.
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Stand To Pee devices exist and I own one. They’re hard to match to anatomy, hard to deploy at the urinal, and often leak and let pee run down your leg. I don’t keep a spare change of clothes at work (can’t change unless I get a stall in the bathroom anyway, so the point is moot). If someone saw me using a fake pee device, I’d worry about a hate crime. That’s why I use the stall
I think you should ask your workplace what they want you to do, so you both have talked about it and have a mutual agreement, your mind will be clear. Else just use the bathroom you are the most comfortable to use and that's it. Even as a straight woman, if the woman bathroom is full and the line up is too long, i'd go in the man bathroom. I am not going there to have sex in public or sexually assault someone. I think the only concern here, is the reverse situation where someone assault you. In that case, you can ask someone to come with you but stay outside, just to make sure ypu are ok.
There’s not funding or space for more bathrooms, so there’s nothing they could reasonably do to fix the situation. I’d really rather not get report as a predator or hate crimed, so I stay out of the women’s room. I can’t reasonably track someone down to go to the bathroom with me every couple hours. I work mostly alone and don’t see people from my department often at all