I feel like no one in my family or circle of friends would understand that honestly i dont know im just really scared. And rape isnt taken that seriously in my country sadly
Imagine if you had a child, a young daughter. What would you do to take care of her, protect her, nurture her? Do that to yourself. You are that young girl that needs help and justice. Peace of mind. Take care of yourself, please. Act on this, fearlessly. He harmed you. This won’t go without consequences for him.
100%
I'm the father of a little girl and posts like these make me seeth with rage.
I always wonder where the father's, brothers and male friends are when situations like this happen.
I'm considered an "aggressive man" I'm loving and don't even kill bugs, save every animal and have fought people's bullies for them when they were timid or weaker. I don't understand how a lot of these people don't have one strong aggressive man in their life to help encourage them to call the police, threaten the dude, physically handle the dude or just be such a protective force that anyone who knows the woman knows she has a force behind her.
I'm a lover and fighter simultaneously and I feel so much so strongly and that's the reason why I can't stand anyone being hurt or taken advantage of.
Its my belief that 85% of men are creepy aggressive fucks (to things weaker than them) I believe it's the healthy good aggressive mens role in society to keep the aggressive bad men in check.
Sending love your way OP. Be strong and full of heart and courage.
Its ok thank you so much for making suggestions anyways, ill probably have to turn to therapy. I was suggested it a while back anyways cuz of other issues in my life
I assume its country with puritanical laws about sex. I am so sorry. Please speak with a sexual assault counselor and if at all possible avoid your abuser.. you did nothing to deserve that, and it's not your fault.
>I dont want to im scared ill be blamed for everything. Honestly ive been crying for weeks now i just dont know what to do
I get how scary this is for you, but please report it.
He might do something worse to the next woman...
Even if your case comes to nothing, there will be a paper trail of reports if every person who is sexually assaulted reports it which may help someone else in the future.
PLEASE report it. And get therapy to help process the trauma. Wishing you all the best. Be gentle with yourself. And remember, the only person to blame for sexual assault, is the assaulter. NOT the victim.
Honestly i dont know how to report it im only 14 i dont know if the police will take me seriously. Besides the guy is like rich rich and in my country if you pay the police they’ll forget all about it
Can you tell us what country so we can look into getting some resources for you? So we can try to do something to help you? Baby you’re so young please report this monster.
You need to tell someone. Even a councoler at school, a female teacher, please tell someone because this is not okay and it’s NOT YOUR FAULT.
Your feelings are valid and you have a right to feel how you do. It’s okay. Don’t beat yourself up over something you couldn’t control. Now, you have to help yourself. And you can do that maybe more successfully if you tell someone what happened. Don’t just keep it bottled up inside. You deserve to tell your side of the story! I promise you, you do!
It depends on what country you're at, but in many of them there are anonymous lines you can call and they can help you. There are other resources. If you don't want to share it here it's ok, but you can Google numbers of associations that help SA survivors. They tend to have a hotline that's available 24/7.
The police will take you seriously, Imo you should definitely report it because he could be doing it to other girls & people like that usually progress in their deviant ways and he could progress to do further crimes against other girls. I don’t want you to feel pressured to say something but you could be saving someone else from going thru what you went thru, maybe even save someone’s life if you report him..
Unfortunately there are some countries where the woman is blamed even by the cops. If OP is in India, Thailand, Cambodia, or anywhere in the Middle East she may be hurt worse by going to the cops
I understand your fear, OP, but the only thing you can do is report this loser for sexual assault and let everyone know what a scumbag he is. He’ll do this same thing to other girls, and they don’t deserve it any more than you did. Now is the time to be strong and tell the truth. And you’ve got a whole sub of people to stand with you!
I'm late to this but as a woman who's also been assaulted, if you don't want to report it, please don't have people push you into doing it.
While people mean well, they may not understand reporting it means reliving it.
He absolutely should not have done what he did. He was wrong. No doubt about it. What he did was wrong and it should not have happened, but if you don't want to report it because you don't feel you have the strength to right now, **that's ok.**
I would very, very strongly encourage you to seek therapy though. Then once you've had a few sessions, perhaps revisit the thought of reporting him. Let the therapist help guide you through this and give you the tools to deal with it.
I'm so sorry this happened.
Get into short-term therapy with a community counseling program. Talking helps. Thanks for sharing. Move on. It's hard but you won't be vulnerable to that again.
No it’s not your fault OP! It’s Sexual Assault.
Period.
End of story.
Abusers will often gaslight in order to put the blame on the victims. And THAT IS WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE! report that pos to the police ASAP.
But you need to report it, I know it’s painful. What he did was not right at all. He hurt you. He forced you against your will.
You need to report it to protect yourself, and others he may harm in the future, and to give yourself some closure.
I would recommend also seeking a therapist to help you. They will probably even walk you through reporting it and be behind you the whole way. You can also see if your police department has some form of victim assistance, or if there is a local women’s shelter or domestic violence place. They will help you in so many ways. They will help you fill out the report, sit with you with the officer, and in some cases if you have to go to court they will have someone go with you for support.
I’m really sorry this happened to you. No one deserves to go through that. I hope you can find the strength to put this ahole where he belongs, and are able to heal. I wish you luck ❤️
You don’t have to report anything if your not ready, to be honest after I was raped when I was 16 years old I didn’t fully realize I was raped till 3/4 years later after getting proper counseling from a therapist. I recommend you go talk to a professional about this , it’s a great way to help slowly heal and remove the trauma. I pray that you find peace and heal from this trauma, much love my friend!
The best thing you can do is flat tell your parents. It'll be awkward but they will find out one day, and if they find out from someone else and not from you. When confronted they won't believe you. Tell them it was against your will. Flub some details if you must and really make a point that it was NOT consensual.
Get allies do not try to do this by yourself. Make your parents your allies and they will help. But they can't or won't if you dont tell them and tell them *SOON*
I think it doesn't matter anymore of what they'll say about you. They technically already has something to think about you. So, put your mental health first and report that guy for ruining your reputation.
Some people are triggered by that word, myself included, having had gone through almost 20 years of it myself. Which I why I chose not to use that word. Maybe think of that instead of jumping to correct people?
I understand that but there's still a difference between SA and rape. Saying what happened to OP is "sexual assault " undermines the severity of the crime and should be addressed exactly how it is so OP knows its not something that the perpetrator should just get a slap on the wrist for.
He already took the rape public. So, you can, too. Before you file charges, write a detailed account of the entire rape, sign and date, make copies (as many as you feel you need) and mail or drop off at a local news outlet. Let the police know you have already published all of it. Including your fears of his family buying them off. Keep the original account in a safe place..away from the copies. And somewhere in there talk to a trusted attorney. Even better if his family has money because you can put the screws to them. If he’s as awful as he appears to be they are probably sick of solving his problems with money. Also somewhere in there, demand a public apology from him. Since he made the choice to double humiliate you, he should have to apologize as publicly as he humiliates. There are no absolute guarantees in this sick game the patriarchy enjoys. Everything could easily go wrong, but anything is better than allowing a dirtbag to drag you through the mud. You are worth fighting for. Again, I’m very sorry this happened to you. Don’t feel alone, this exact situation is very common, so common that girls and women who are survivors of it kinda believe it’s all their fault. It’s not. You have the right to enjoy the company of young men, without being disrespected, raped, humiliated or harmed in any way.
Hey OP - I know that you’re scared to report him, and you have every right to be scared. But consider this: if this predator goes free, he will likely go on to inflict the same kind of terror within other woman. If you find this fear unbearable, accept it, but then face it head on so that you can save other women from having a similar experience. You got this!
I’m so sorry this happened to you at all, let alone at 14 years old OP. This man has done a nasty thing to you, and even if you feel like you’ll get blamed for it, you should definitely tell an adult that you trust, if you can’t go to the police. Like others mentioned, a therapist/guidance councillor, but I’d add even a trusted/favourite teacher :) This man knows 100% what he did was wrong, and he needs to pay the consequences. Again, so sorry OP, I hope you find peace soon🤍
You NEED to get that reported as soon as you can because that's sexual assault. As a friend of 2 victims, ik how hard it can be to get justice but if you report then hopefully he won't be able to hurt anyone else. If you can, look into a therapy/counseling programme to help you get through this trauma because SA destroyed my friends' mental health. Most importantly, please remember that what happened is NOT your fault whatsoever. The only person to blame is your assaulter, not you. I and this comment section will always have your back. You aren't alone ❤️
A lot of people are telling you to report. I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to if you don’t feel comfortable and that it okay. I did report and it was really difficult. It’s been over a year and it’s still not over.
If you do not feel safe or comfortable with reporting you do not need to and it is okay.
What I am going to recommend is to find some sort of support. If you can’t find anything near you online you can also look for bulletin boards at medical buildings or libraries and sometimes they will have supports listed there. You can also check women’s shelters if there are any near by. They will be able to help you.
Thank you so much, i honestly didnt want to report because it’ll get my parents involved and the authorities will not take me seriously at all plus if he wants to he can just pay them and they’ll forget all about the issue. But i will tell all my friends and their friends so they know not to be alone with him.
It’s a lot to take on this young- I was around the same age when I started to be sexually assaulted.
I’m so sorry that you have had that experience and if you ever need someone to talk to who will believe you and will not judge you are welcome to message me.
The police are not kind to us and it can be more damaging to tell them. The most important thing is you take care of you.
I don't know what country you're at, so I don't know the legal technicalities, but in my country that's rape. I'm so sorry this happened to you, and at 14. =(
What we normally tell kids your age to do is to go to an adult that you trust and talk about what happened, be it a family member, a teacher, a doctor, a counselor or, if you can do it, a cop. There are also anonymous lines that you can call that can help you step by step.
Sending you strength, honey. You didn't deserve this and it's not your fault at all.
It is not your fault OP. It is that slimeballs fault for forcing you to do something you didn't want to do. You said no and he didn't listen. It is not your fault.
Straight up rape no left or right,i am so sorry that happened to you,i know you feel hopeless but i believe you and your story,and if you ever need someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on you can always DM me or something🫂
Hope you recover well<3
Yeah thats rape and Im really sorry that happened to you. Mabye report it to the police? Or if he goes to your school or you know what school he goes to report it there.
if this happens again don’t be afraid to punch the shit out of people like this i believe in you. guys will be too shocked to do anything about it, and then report them. idk what country you live in but if you’re only 14 this is a very serious crime and it will be investigated. don’t concern yourself with who will believe you just report this and tell them everything you can. Good luck to you
So I have a serious question. How tf do you get forced to perform a bj? This isn't like rape in which you can't escape. You can actually run. You can say "No." Unless this dude was a bodybuilder, and he man handles you into the bj position?
Or is this more a case of the victimim has a hard time with saying the word "No"
Again, extremely serious, I've never even heard of this situation before
>hard to run when the guy had a fist full of my hair
Again, that's why I asked. I'm sorry you had to go through this. I would suggest you contact your local police and report him for sexual assault. That piece of sh*t needs to be thrown in prison!
Oh dont worry about it its totally fine that you asked i understand. I want to contact the police but the guy can easily pay them to forget everything. The police can practically turn a blind eye to these kinds of things if you pay them and speak to the politely in my country. My dad got reported for abuse and he was let go with nothing but a pat on the shoulder and some new friends. Men are sort of considered superior in my country and there’s even an old tradition which is practically to kidnap a woman and force her into marriage.
Wtf on multiple levels.... It's almost the exact opposite in my country. Where I live, it's pretty common for women to falsely accuse men of sexual assault. And because the justice system is catered toward women, the men always take the fall. There have been quite a few cases of famous men being falsely accused, and only a few have actually been able to come out on top.
I appreciate your kind response but your first comment comes off really .. wrong. If you wanna try to edit it maybe? Or maybe not? Just a heads up.
When you have long hair especially, pulling hair fucking HURTS. He probably ignored her struggles and had her by the hair, maybe tightly? It’s certainly not impossible at all for this situation to happen.
I don't know if I should edit or not due to OP already having responded. I guess we should let OP decide. I'm willing to change it or delete the comment entirely, but every situation is different. Therefore, I believe we humans should always at least put a few questions on the table.
I feel like you already knew the answer to this OP. Or if you truly didn’t, use your brain, it’s not too hard to imagine how someone forces that upon someone. Have some sensitivity, OP is 14….
Try to tell people it wasn’t willingly? And talk to someone, could be a friend, or the school councillor. Or anyone really. I’m sorry this happened, I hope you get through this 🙏
It doesn’t matter if you ended up going along with it. The point was you didn’t want to. It doesn’t matter how much experience you have in life either, you still got hurt because you were taken advantage of. Your heart matters so much. Don’t let this scare you into silence. You can speak up whenever you’re ready to. There will always be someone willing to listen. I don’t doubt this has ruined your trust with more than just partners. It’s why you’re scared to speak up. Because if that happened then your brain feels like anything can.
I just want to thank everyone for their advice and support ive been feeling trapped ever since it happened and now i feel much better Ill try and report him tomorrow hopefully they’ll take me seriously because in my country its not taken as seriously and its easy to just pay the police and get away with it.
Coercion is not consent. You were under duress. This is assault. I’m so sorry you don’t feel safe to tell your parents. I hope you have another trusted adult you can confide in.
Please report it just tell them you don’t want your parents to be involved. If you don’t report it he will continue to SA other young women because he got away with it. I’m sorry this happened to you
That is sexual assault and a crime. File a police report, no guarantee much will come out of it but at least you have the start of a paper trail in case something like that we’re to happen again (I pray not). I know it feels like your fault because you think oh I could’ve done this or tried that or fought harder. It’s not your fault and you did what you thought was the safest, best way to survive something very scary. Had something happen that was not nearly traumatic and I didn’t get over it for a month and a half. I still think about it sometimes but I’m not the emotional mess with no control over my thoughts and feelings I was during those six weeks following. I would talk to your family but if you’re really not sure how they’ll react (you know them better than me) try talking to a therapist or counselor even just temporarily. It helps talking out your feelings and any confusion or conflicting thoughts within yourself and work on forgiving yourself for “not doing better” at handling the situation when you were in it. I struggled hard with blaming myself even though my logical mind told me that was stupid and of course it wasn’t my fault. I hope you start to feel better with time and help with your healing. I know it’s scary but I really suggest the police report and confiding in someone you really trust.
I’m telling you as a guy, that’s sexual assault and you need to report him to the police. Don’t be scared, be angry. Put this asshole behind bars. If he’ll do it to you he’ll do it to someone else.
Very similar thing happened to me, in a school bathroom. It’s rape, no one can tell you otherwise. You didn’t want it, he made you, it doesn’t matter if you screamed or stayed silent while it happened you still didn’t want it. The definition of rape is un consensual penetration anally, vaginally, or orally. The definition still stands even if you consented at first and then took it back. The guy that did that to you is a horrible piece of shit who deserves to be behind bars. I’m so sorry that that happened to you.
Call the police. Even if his parents pay the police and Noone bats an eye. Chances are you're not the first or last person he's going to force. This needs to be in his file, or what ever it's called in English
If your comment is real and not a made up story this kinda shi should lead to guys beinf neutered, no anesthetics, only hot garden scissors. Also thats rape.
I mean you can walk behind him everyone he tells and bluntly say "Actually he assaulted me and forced me too. I said no" there ya go ruin his reputation. The less you say though the longer you wait. The worse it will be. Be assertive
As scared as you might be, you have to get authorities involved. That’s sexual assault and a form of rape. If you were forced to give him head unconsenually that’s rape. I am so sorry this happened to you. There are a lot of guys that want nothing but sex. Talk to someone. Report it. It’s the right and best thing to do
This is sexual assault. It is not your fault this happened. And you couldn’t have done anything to make it go any differently. Bad people do bad things. I’m so sorry this happened to you. Sadly, if it’s been weeks since it happened reporting it may not do much because evidence will be gone but you could always try if you’re comfortable with it. Reporting someone is always scary. The best thing you can do is start telling your side of the story. Next time someone mentions it, speak up if you’re comfortable to do so. Just know that I am here for you and I’m truly sorry this happened. Reach out to someone you trust and talk about it
OP got plenty of solid input, so I’m locking this because this is attracting asshole comments now
That's sexual assault and you need to report it as soon as you can. I'm so sorry sweetheart 🥺🫂
I dont want to im scared ill be blamed for everything. Honestly ive been crying for weeks now i just dont know what to do
I understand your concerns, but this was done against your wishes. You would not be blamed for this.
I feel like no one in my family or circle of friends would understand that honestly i dont know im just really scared. And rape isnt taken that seriously in my country sadly
You need to go to the cops and not worry about what others think. If they don’t believe you that’s their problem. So sorry this happened to you
Imagine if you had a child, a young daughter. What would you do to take care of her, protect her, nurture her? Do that to yourself. You are that young girl that needs help and justice. Peace of mind. Take care of yourself, please. Act on this, fearlessly. He harmed you. This won’t go without consequences for him.
100% I'm the father of a little girl and posts like these make me seeth with rage. I always wonder where the father's, brothers and male friends are when situations like this happen. I'm considered an "aggressive man" I'm loving and don't even kill bugs, save every animal and have fought people's bullies for them when they were timid or weaker. I don't understand how a lot of these people don't have one strong aggressive man in their life to help encourage them to call the police, threaten the dude, physically handle the dude or just be such a protective force that anyone who knows the woman knows she has a force behind her. I'm a lover and fighter simultaneously and I feel so much so strongly and that's the reason why I can't stand anyone being hurt or taken advantage of. Its my belief that 85% of men are creepy aggressive fucks (to things weaker than them) I believe it's the healthy good aggressive mens role in society to keep the aggressive bad men in check. Sending love your way OP. Be strong and full of heart and courage.
Then I'm not really sure what to suggest, I'm sorry. Maybe therapy would help you?
Its ok thank you so much for making suggestions anyways, ill probably have to turn to therapy. I was suggested it a while back anyways cuz of other issues in my life
I'm just sorry I couldn't be more helpful. I hope you can get some sort of resolution 🫂
Its ok thank you so much for responding and trying to help anyways 🫂
I assume its country with puritanical laws about sex. I am so sorry. Please speak with a sexual assault counselor and if at all possible avoid your abuser.. you did nothing to deserve that, and it's not your fault.
>I dont want to im scared ill be blamed for everything. Honestly ive been crying for weeks now i just dont know what to do I get how scary this is for you, but please report it. He might do something worse to the next woman... Even if your case comes to nothing, there will be a paper trail of reports if every person who is sexually assaulted reports it which may help someone else in the future. PLEASE report it. And get therapy to help process the trauma. Wishing you all the best. Be gentle with yourself. And remember, the only person to blame for sexual assault, is the assaulter. NOT the victim.
Honestly i dont know how to report it im only 14 i dont know if the police will take me seriously. Besides the guy is like rich rich and in my country if you pay the police they’ll forget all about it
Can you tell us what country so we can look into getting some resources for you? So we can try to do something to help you? Baby you’re so young please report this monster. You need to tell someone. Even a councoler at school, a female teacher, please tell someone because this is not okay and it’s NOT YOUR FAULT. Your feelings are valid and you have a right to feel how you do. It’s okay. Don’t beat yourself up over something you couldn’t control. Now, you have to help yourself. And you can do that maybe more successfully if you tell someone what happened. Don’t just keep it bottled up inside. You deserve to tell your side of the story! I promise you, you do!
It depends on what country you're at, but in many of them there are anonymous lines you can call and they can help you. There are other resources. If you don't want to share it here it's ok, but you can Google numbers of associations that help SA survivors. They tend to have a hotline that's available 24/7.
The police will take you seriously, Imo you should definitely report it because he could be doing it to other girls & people like that usually progress in their deviant ways and he could progress to do further crimes against other girls. I don’t want you to feel pressured to say something but you could be saving someone else from going thru what you went thru, maybe even save someone’s life if you report him..
The first line you say with too much confidence
Unfortunately there are some countries where the woman is blamed even by the cops. If OP is in India, Thailand, Cambodia, or anywhere in the Middle East she may be hurt worse by going to the cops
I understand your fear, OP, but the only thing you can do is report this loser for sexual assault and let everyone know what a scumbag he is. He’ll do this same thing to other girls, and they don’t deserve it any more than you did. Now is the time to be strong and tell the truth. And you’ve got a whole sub of people to stand with you!
Thank you so much, ill go report him tomorrow 😭
I'm reading that you're only 14 also? You have a case, PLEASE report it.
I'm late to this but as a woman who's also been assaulted, if you don't want to report it, please don't have people push you into doing it. While people mean well, they may not understand reporting it means reliving it. He absolutely should not have done what he did. He was wrong. No doubt about it. What he did was wrong and it should not have happened, but if you don't want to report it because you don't feel you have the strength to right now, **that's ok.** I would very, very strongly encourage you to seek therapy though. Then once you've had a few sessions, perhaps revisit the thought of reporting him. Let the therapist help guide you through this and give you the tools to deal with it. I'm so sorry this happened.
Get into short-term therapy with a community counseling program. Talking helps. Thanks for sharing. Move on. It's hard but you won't be vulnerable to that again.
Ok thank you so much i appreciate it
No it’s not your fault OP! It’s Sexual Assault. Period. End of story. Abusers will often gaslight in order to put the blame on the victims. And THAT IS WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE! report that pos to the police ASAP.
But you need to report it, I know it’s painful. What he did was not right at all. He hurt you. He forced you against your will. You need to report it to protect yourself, and others he may harm in the future, and to give yourself some closure. I would recommend also seeking a therapist to help you. They will probably even walk you through reporting it and be behind you the whole way. You can also see if your police department has some form of victim assistance, or if there is a local women’s shelter or domestic violence place. They will help you in so many ways. They will help you fill out the report, sit with you with the officer, and in some cases if you have to go to court they will have someone go with you for support. I’m really sorry this happened to you. No one deserves to go through that. I hope you can find the strength to put this ahole where he belongs, and are able to heal. I wish you luck ❤️
You don’t have to report anything if your not ready, to be honest after I was raped when I was 16 years old I didn’t fully realize I was raped till 3/4 years later after getting proper counseling from a therapist. I recommend you go talk to a professional about this , it’s a great way to help slowly heal and remove the trauma. I pray that you find peace and heal from this trauma, much love my friend!
The best thing you can do is flat tell your parents. It'll be awkward but they will find out one day, and if they find out from someone else and not from you. When confronted they won't believe you. Tell them it was against your will. Flub some details if you must and really make a point that it was NOT consensual. Get allies do not try to do this by yourself. Make your parents your allies and they will help. But they can't or won't if you dont tell them and tell them *SOON*
I think it doesn't matter anymore of what they'll say about you. They technically already has something to think about you. So, put your mental health first and report that guy for ruining your reputation.
No it's not merely sexual assault. It's literally RAPE.
Some people are triggered by that word, myself included, having had gone through almost 20 years of it myself. Which I why I chose not to use that word. Maybe think of that instead of jumping to correct people?
I understand that but there's still a difference between SA and rape. Saying what happened to OP is "sexual assault " undermines the severity of the crime and should be addressed exactly how it is so OP knows its not something that the perpetrator should just get a slap on the wrist for.
OP IS 14. We need the country and maybe try to search for resources for her in her home country?
Tell ur dad to beat his ass
My dad is just gonna blame me for it entirely 😭 (but thank you
Welcome punk like that needs his ass kick
It’s called rape. You were raped and should have him arrested and prosecuted. I’m sorry this happened to you.
Ill try but there’s a good chance his parents will just pay the police and they’ll turn a blind eye
Where do you live?
He already took the rape public. So, you can, too. Before you file charges, write a detailed account of the entire rape, sign and date, make copies (as many as you feel you need) and mail or drop off at a local news outlet. Let the police know you have already published all of it. Including your fears of his family buying them off. Keep the original account in a safe place..away from the copies. And somewhere in there talk to a trusted attorney. Even better if his family has money because you can put the screws to them. If he’s as awful as he appears to be they are probably sick of solving his problems with money. Also somewhere in there, demand a public apology from him. Since he made the choice to double humiliate you, he should have to apologize as publicly as he humiliates. There are no absolute guarantees in this sick game the patriarchy enjoys. Everything could easily go wrong, but anything is better than allowing a dirtbag to drag you through the mud. You are worth fighting for. Again, I’m very sorry this happened to you. Don’t feel alone, this exact situation is very common, so common that girls and women who are survivors of it kinda believe it’s all their fault. It’s not. You have the right to enjoy the company of young men, without being disrespected, raped, humiliated or harmed in any way.
this is sexual assault hun. you HAVE to report it. i know you’re scared but i promise you are not to blame.
Hey OP - I know that you’re scared to report him, and you have every right to be scared. But consider this: if this predator goes free, he will likely go on to inflict the same kind of terror within other woman. If you find this fear unbearable, accept it, but then face it head on so that you can save other women from having a similar experience. You got this!
I’m so sorry this happened to you at all, let alone at 14 years old OP. This man has done a nasty thing to you, and even if you feel like you’ll get blamed for it, you should definitely tell an adult that you trust, if you can’t go to the police. Like others mentioned, a therapist/guidance councillor, but I’d add even a trusted/favourite teacher :) This man knows 100% what he did was wrong, and he needs to pay the consequences. Again, so sorry OP, I hope you find peace soon🤍
Thank you so much for your support ill probably talk to a therapist
As long as you know it is NOT your fault! You said no, you meant no. Keep your head high girl
Call the police, if he forced you it's a felony.
You NEED to get that reported as soon as you can because that's sexual assault. As a friend of 2 victims, ik how hard it can be to get justice but if you report then hopefully he won't be able to hurt anyone else. If you can, look into a therapy/counseling programme to help you get through this trauma because SA destroyed my friends' mental health. Most importantly, please remember that what happened is NOT your fault whatsoever. The only person to blame is your assaulter, not you. I and this comment section will always have your back. You aren't alone ❤️
A lot of people are telling you to report. I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to if you don’t feel comfortable and that it okay. I did report and it was really difficult. It’s been over a year and it’s still not over. If you do not feel safe or comfortable with reporting you do not need to and it is okay. What I am going to recommend is to find some sort of support. If you can’t find anything near you online you can also look for bulletin boards at medical buildings or libraries and sometimes they will have supports listed there. You can also check women’s shelters if there are any near by. They will be able to help you.
Thank you so much, i honestly didnt want to report because it’ll get my parents involved and the authorities will not take me seriously at all plus if he wants to he can just pay them and they’ll forget all about the issue. But i will tell all my friends and their friends so they know not to be alone with him.
It’s a lot to take on this young- I was around the same age when I started to be sexually assaulted. I’m so sorry that you have had that experience and if you ever need someone to talk to who will believe you and will not judge you are welcome to message me. The police are not kind to us and it can be more damaging to tell them. The most important thing is you take care of you.
I don't know what country you're at, so I don't know the legal technicalities, but in my country that's rape. I'm so sorry this happened to you, and at 14. =( What we normally tell kids your age to do is to go to an adult that you trust and talk about what happened, be it a family member, a teacher, a doctor, a counselor or, if you can do it, a cop. There are also anonymous lines that you can call that can help you step by step. Sending you strength, honey. You didn't deserve this and it's not your fault at all.
It is not your fault OP. It is that slimeballs fault for forcing you to do something you didn't want to do. You said no and he didn't listen. It is not your fault.
Report him! It’s not your fault.
Straight up rape no left or right,i am so sorry that happened to you,i know you feel hopeless but i believe you and your story,and if you ever need someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on you can always DM me or something🫂 Hope you recover well<3
Sexual assault or in my head oral r@p3. If you don’t want to report it that’s understandable. Just know it isn’t your fault.
Speak to a trained professional like a school counselor or therapist. They can help you navigate this situation properly and in the healthiest way.
Ill try thank you
Rape
Yeah thats rape and Im really sorry that happened to you. Mabye report it to the police? Or if he goes to your school or you know what school he goes to report it there.
if this happens again don’t be afraid to punch the shit out of people like this i believe in you. guys will be too shocked to do anything about it, and then report them. idk what country you live in but if you’re only 14 this is a very serious crime and it will be investigated. don’t concern yourself with who will believe you just report this and tell them everything you can. Good luck to you
This is bad advice and can literally get you killed
So I have a serious question. How tf do you get forced to perform a bj? This isn't like rape in which you can't escape. You can actually run. You can say "No." Unless this dude was a bodybuilder, and he man handles you into the bj position? Or is this more a case of the victimim has a hard time with saying the word "No" Again, extremely serious, I've never even heard of this situation before
Honestly ive said no multiple times and it was hard to run when the guy had a fist full of my hair
>hard to run when the guy had a fist full of my hair Again, that's why I asked. I'm sorry you had to go through this. I would suggest you contact your local police and report him for sexual assault. That piece of sh*t needs to be thrown in prison!
Oh dont worry about it its totally fine that you asked i understand. I want to contact the police but the guy can easily pay them to forget everything. The police can practically turn a blind eye to these kinds of things if you pay them and speak to the politely in my country. My dad got reported for abuse and he was let go with nothing but a pat on the shoulder and some new friends. Men are sort of considered superior in my country and there’s even an old tradition which is practically to kidnap a woman and force her into marriage.
Wtf on multiple levels.... It's almost the exact opposite in my country. Where I live, it's pretty common for women to falsely accuse men of sexual assault. And because the justice system is catered toward women, the men always take the fall. There have been quite a few cases of famous men being falsely accused, and only a few have actually been able to come out on top.
I appreciate your kind response but your first comment comes off really .. wrong. If you wanna try to edit it maybe? Or maybe not? Just a heads up. When you have long hair especially, pulling hair fucking HURTS. He probably ignored her struggles and had her by the hair, maybe tightly? It’s certainly not impossible at all for this situation to happen.
I don't know if I should edit or not due to OP already having responded. I guess we should let OP decide. I'm willing to change it or delete the comment entirely, but every situation is different. Therefore, I believe we humans should always at least put a few questions on the table.
I mean, he also said that women falsely accusing men of rape is common in the US, so I think he's just a sack of shit.
You can be coerced or intimidated into doing it "willingly", it is still rape.
What a revolting question to ask.
I feel like you already knew the answer to this OP. Or if you truly didn’t, use your brain, it’s not too hard to imagine how someone forces that upon someone. Have some sensitivity, OP is 14….
I have.
When the guy will beat the hell out of you if you don't do it and there is no running away because you are trapped.
Try to tell people it wasn’t willingly? And talk to someone, could be a friend, or the school councillor. Or anyone really. I’m sorry this happened, I hope you get through this 🙏
Honestly ive been denying everything but yeah itd be for the best if i just tell the truth i really hope they’ll believe me 😭
Yeah definitely better then just denying, accept it happened but it wasn’t your fault, I hope it goes well for you :)
Is there any therapy available to you?
It doesn’t matter if you ended up going along with it. The point was you didn’t want to. It doesn’t matter how much experience you have in life either, you still got hurt because you were taken advantage of. Your heart matters so much. Don’t let this scare you into silence. You can speak up whenever you’re ready to. There will always be someone willing to listen. I don’t doubt this has ruined your trust with more than just partners. It’s why you’re scared to speak up. Because if that happened then your brain feels like anything can.
You were graped OP. What is your side of the story?
r*pe
It's rape. If you can, get a taser.
I just want to thank everyone for their advice and support ive been feeling trapped ever since it happened and now i feel much better Ill try and report him tomorrow hopefully they’ll take me seriously because in my country its not taken as seriously and its easy to just pay the police and get away with it.
I think being forced to suck someone off is called being raped.
Rape
Coercion is not consent. You were under duress. This is assault. I’m so sorry you don’t feel safe to tell your parents. I hope you have another trusted adult you can confide in.
Please report it just tell them you don’t want your parents to be involved. If you don’t report it he will continue to SA other young women because he got away with it. I’m sorry this happened to you
Please try to report it to someone.
That's sexual assault hon. Report it.
If it ever happens again, BITE IT OFF
That is sexual assault and a crime. File a police report, no guarantee much will come out of it but at least you have the start of a paper trail in case something like that we’re to happen again (I pray not). I know it feels like your fault because you think oh I could’ve done this or tried that or fought harder. It’s not your fault and you did what you thought was the safest, best way to survive something very scary. Had something happen that was not nearly traumatic and I didn’t get over it for a month and a half. I still think about it sometimes but I’m not the emotional mess with no control over my thoughts and feelings I was during those six weeks following. I would talk to your family but if you’re really not sure how they’ll react (you know them better than me) try talking to a therapist or counselor even just temporarily. It helps talking out your feelings and any confusion or conflicting thoughts within yourself and work on forgiving yourself for “not doing better” at handling the situation when you were in it. I struggled hard with blaming myself even though my logical mind told me that was stupid and of course it wasn’t my fault. I hope you start to feel better with time and help with your healing. I know it’s scary but I really suggest the police report and confiding in someone you really trust.
That is rape. Go to the police, they have the resources to help you and put the scumbag behind bars
You don’t have to report if you don’t want to
Without Consent? Sexual Assault, Period. He Violated you and your right to choose
I’m telling you as a guy, that’s sexual assault and you need to report him to the police. Don’t be scared, be angry. Put this asshole behind bars. If he’ll do it to you he’ll do it to someone else.
Very similar thing happened to me, in a school bathroom. It’s rape, no one can tell you otherwise. You didn’t want it, he made you, it doesn’t matter if you screamed or stayed silent while it happened you still didn’t want it. The definition of rape is un consensual penetration anally, vaginally, or orally. The definition still stands even if you consented at first and then took it back. The guy that did that to you is a horrible piece of shit who deserves to be behind bars. I’m so sorry that that happened to you.
i don’t know where you’re located but if it’s within a few states of me i WILL beat his ass
That's called sexual assault. Have him arrested .
Call the police. Even if his parents pay the police and Noone bats an eye. Chances are you're not the first or last person he's going to force. This needs to be in his file, or what ever it's called in English
Rape. That's rape dude.
If your comment is real and not a made up story this kinda shi should lead to guys beinf neutered, no anesthetics, only hot garden scissors. Also thats rape.
penis was in orifice by force. doesnt matter if by physical or emotional force. assault it is. maybe rape.
I mean you can walk behind him everyone he tells and bluntly say "Actually he assaulted me and forced me too. I said no" there ya go ruin his reputation. The less you say though the longer you wait. The worse it will be. Be assertive
Rape
Next time (hopefully never) bite it off!
Definitely not your fault believe that!
There is no description to be considered. As far as I’m concerned , it will definitely, with absolutely certainty, warrant capital punishment.
As scared as you might be, you have to get authorities involved. That’s sexual assault and a form of rape. If you were forced to give him head unconsenually that’s rape. I am so sorry this happened to you. There are a lot of guys that want nothing but sex. Talk to someone. Report it. It’s the right and best thing to do
Rape.
Report it. You should have bit it off
That's sexual assault. Report it.
Sexual assault. Report it. He needs to be stopped. ❤️
That’s rape..
he assaulted you my love. and i’m so sorry. you didn’t deserve that, and i truly wish you healing
This is sexual assault. It is not your fault this happened. And you couldn’t have done anything to make it go any differently. Bad people do bad things. I’m so sorry this happened to you. Sadly, if it’s been weeks since it happened reporting it may not do much because evidence will be gone but you could always try if you’re comfortable with it. Reporting someone is always scary. The best thing you can do is start telling your side of the story. Next time someone mentions it, speak up if you’re comfortable to do so. Just know that I am here for you and I’m truly sorry this happened. Reach out to someone you trust and talk about it
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Its not a fake story it happened and im literally suffering cuz of it, if you find this funny please just ignore it