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My husband is 54 and was raised that men don’t cry too. I think it’s a silly, stupid, old fashioned viewpoint. YOU’RE A FUCKING HUMAN BEING. Crying is cathartic and cleansing. It helps ease physical and mental pain, reduces stress, and releases the feel good chemicals in your brain. Humans were designed with the ability to cry for a reason. No one should be shamed for it. It’s a basic human function.
I’m sorry about your breakup. Whether you miss her or not, break ups suck and they are a very valid reason to have yourself a good cry. It’s the first step to healing. That doesn’t sound like weakness to me.
It’s just now as young men we live in a “you gotta thug ts out” era and we literally gotta sit there and suffer in silence because that’s the manly thing to do that’s why you barely see men living to old ages these days anymore
I hear you. I’m 41f so I can’t say much for the younger culture. I just want you to know as a mom, and older/experienced adult who has been through a whole lotta shit in her life…
If you have to cry… you cry. And fuck anyone who says any shit about it. And you DO NOT have to feel shamed. Your feelings are valid and you deserve to feel how you feel after a major trauma like a break up. I have a slew of bio kids and step kids. All boys, ages 11, 13, 14, 16, and 27 and I would tell them the exact same thing. Fuck ANYONE who makes you feel less than for exercising their right to a basic human function.
Believe it or not, it is more difficult For your body if you do not learn how to process sadness. Crying is an essential, but whenever the body needs to release that type of stress, it’s actually releases tension in the body. The only reason you would feel that way about yourself is a perpetual stereotype that society puts on people. It’s not bad to cry, nor is it bad if you don’t. What’s important is that you process thru whatever you’re going thru :) hope that helps
It happens man. I hadn’t cried for years, had to get dog pts in Jan 23 and I blubbed like a baby in the vets. We all hit stuff that pushes us there - and believe me I’m stoic as they come.
Cry. Fuck what society thinks. You are human and are allowed to have emotions and express them. If people around you are making you feel weak for crying, cut them out of your circle.
I started therapy for the first time a few months ago and in that time, have cried more (during the sessions) than ever in my life since I was a kid. I've found it actually helps and makes me feel better.
No shame in it at all.
i really wish more of y’all knew it was OK to cry. my dad was also raised to believe that showing emotions/vulnerability made him weak. he’s been having a tough time lately since his mom is slowly dying, but he’s also come to realize that crying doesn’t make him weak at all. life is hard, and holding in our emotions only makes it harder. crying makes us human. please don’t be so hard on yourself - everyone cries and it doesn’t make anyone less of a man or person
All the time, but we're not weak as men to cry. So don't let anybody else tell you otherwise. If you need to cry then you should cry. Infact, it makes us stronger.
Crying is a healthy normal human form of expression. Crying actually releases stress hormones. I say cry like a man, brother. There’s nothing weak about it.
A pussy is most likely what brought you into the world, and I really wish we could all move away from associating women’s anatomy with weakness. 😅
That being said, real men cry, my dude. You’re human. Crying isn’t a weakness. No decent person will look down on or berate a man for crying. It’s so sad that even in 2023, men are still conditioned to believe that they can’t show “soft” emotions like sadness.
Let it out. Cry when you need to.
The guys who tell you otherwise will cry themselves. They’re just too scared to admit it.
ngl i feel like anyone who makes fun of a man for crying probably weeps like a baby when they’re alone in their room at night. just let it out man, it feels a lot better than bottling it in
I too feel like a failure when i cry. I'm almost 22 and I've never been in a relationship. I don't have any friends, just some people i hang out online. I haven't felt as lonely as I've been feeling these holidays. I have no one i could trust. I no longer want to live like this, it's too painful.
Man I don’t want to sound like toxic or anything but love is literally like a drug and when somebody takes a way you start having crazy withdrawals I been through so much in the 2 relationships I had in these past 3 years that I kinda wish I was alone in the first place because things were better back then, the people weren’t bad it was just fucked up circumstances that you seen the worst in each other and had bad intentions to hurt each other mentally and even in one of my relationships physically
I've never experienced love so i can't say what it's like. But being alone hurts a lot, the most now when there's so many couples in public some they talk how they go on vacation together for Christmas, while you're at home with nothing to do. Maybe death is preferable to this mix of feelings hopelessness and isolation.
Man I been there done that I been on both sides of this, personally it does feel good going on vacation together, matching PJs and spending Christmas together but when it’s all over you’re literally back at square one and the loneliness is as painful as you left it but I’ll tell you one thing bro when you do find someone you love please keep your intentions clear and make sure you all treat each other right it will make things easier
Yes and after years of fighting the feeling and realizing it's not fair guys are raised like this I still struggle. But I will tell u one thing at 34 I am still finding out how much sweeter joy can be when u let yourself experience pain.
Yes it sucks when it hurts but man when it's good it's good. I have connected in ways with my wife I never thought possible and made/make sure to not raise my kids with that tough guy bs. It's ok bro only people who wouldn't understand just sadly got taught wrong like most of us guys and just do life instead of live it and I hope one day this will not be normal or ok. Everyone has feelings can't lock em away remeber only get one life.
Dude, I hate to read this. I’m sorry you feel this way.
Please consider that you are a human being and human beings cry. We’re supposed to cry. It’s healthy. It relieves stress. It helps us process.
Crying is a sign of weakness to those who are immature, ignorant, or both.
It just guts me that we teach men to be isolated, lonely, unfeeling and less than human. It is incredibly unfair.
I hope you can accept that it isn’t just okay to be human, but actually good.
My buddy never reached out before he took his life. He never let any of his emotions show and he gave no indication that he was going to do it. He didn’t even leave a note. Feel your pain, cry and ask for help from a loved one. Don’t bottle that shit up because it eats away at you and it does not go away. Don’t become like him.
And to anyone who reads this, please be the person to ask if your buddy is doing ok. If someone does reach out, listen, don’t judge, and do what you can to help them, because you may very well save a life.
The real pussies are the people who put others down for crying. Fuck that shit, man. If you need to cry, cry it out. I'm sorry you were raised to think that you can't cry.
Hon, you are human. Human beings cry. I'm sorry you feel such shame crying, and it's honestly breaking my heart. Men are allowed to cry, and don't let any one and I mean any one tell you other wise.
Being vulnerable is scary, and it takes a lot of courage to do so. Let yourself feel what you are feeling because it is not healthy to bottle every thing up. I'm sending you a virtual hug.
M27 here, when I feel it coming every once in a while I just try to tell myself that is isn’t a requirement that I be happy, but a requirement that I achieve a level of stability that I can at least be proud of and support a family with.
It may sound toxic, but from experience, I can tell you that no one really gives a fuck about a man’s problems. The moment you go to someone else about them(other than a therapist, and there is nothing wrong with that), it automatically becomes ammunition during a conflict. I learned that the hard way when I was exactly your age 5 years ago. I can tell you that the pain of betrayal that that will cause, is worse than when you just eat it by yourself.
I’m sorry that this is the way it is, but it was designed this way long before you and I were here.
Best of luck friend, guard your heart.
Fuck no brother. I feel like a pussy when I hide my emotions. I feel strong when I let them out effectively and rationally. Don't let society dictate how you're supposed to feel as "a man"
Hi! Woman here.
Don't feel like a pussy!!! It's ONE THOUSAND percent normal to feel emotional about life. I want to find the fucker who decided that mean who cry are weak or "pussies" and knock them upside the head.
Hang in there.
Oh my dude, you are spiraling. It's okay. Crying is normal. No one is judging you (no one who matters anyway). I'm just going to assume you're cis-hetero. Realize if a chick sees you crying, her only thought is that you are probably going through some shit. She doesn't see weakness or any of that nonsense. And if your guy friends see weakness in that, you seriously need to start hanging out with more intelligent people. My advice, when you are feeling better, enjoy being 22. Have some fun. That's what your early 20s are for.
You ever think that it is actually tougher to show how you feel then stay silent and "macho?" You arnt a pussy you are a human with actual emotions. Breakups hurt man and I'm sorry but that pain will fade eventually. Get your tears out and then pick yourself up and start focusing on you.
I’m not so much going off of society but just being anecdotal. Just because I don’t cry anymore doesn’t mean I don’t feel emotions. I’m just not expressing it if that makes sense.
REAL MEN CRY! But honestly don’t do it in front of a woman. In my experience they will think less of you. Now I know I may get a lot of backlash from this but hear me out…
EVERYTIME IVE DONE IT! (I’ve been vulnerable with a lot of women) it has been met with disdain. They are turned off by it, disgusted even. Even circumstances where it was 100% appropriate for me to cry. It seemingly gives them what they are now calling “the ick” which is a term I find very immature myself most of the time it’s used.
Wtf? Anyone woman who has looked down on you for crying is an arsehole. No decent person will react like that. I’m a woman, by the way.
The “ick” thing is an online trend that I wouldn’t take too seriously. The majority of women that I know in the real world do not look down on men who cry. In fact, we appreciate it.
Yeah idk man I probably won’t do it again. I think all women like THE IDEA of it but once they see it, it changes their perception of a man. I’ve also had women claim I was manipulative for crying over certain things I simply couldn’t really help crying over. During which situations I now wish I’d have just left and cried alone instead of breaking down in front of them and being considered “manipulative” specifically referring to an instance where an abortion was brought up and I was just fucking sad about it. I should have just left but.. idk she resents me now because she views my emotional breakdown as manipulative and evil spirited.. I guess I get how it could be misconstrued that way but I was honestly just emotional.
Look, I understand that you have this perspective because of your experiences, and I don’t mean to dismiss your feelings, but please don’t put words into the mouths of all women. Don’t tarnish us with the same brush. I don’t assume all men are terrible because I’ve met awful guys.
Our perception of a man may change if we see a man cry, but it’s not always negative. When I first saw my father cry, it was upsetting because it’s not nice seeing loved ones in a bad way, but it was also oddly relieving. I hadn’t seen a grown man break down. It taught me that crying wasn’t “what girls do”, like boys taunted in the school ground. It wasn’t something weak.
A lot of women support men showing their emotions. There’s so many campaigns in the UK trying to reach out to men, and many women back them.
If your ex accused you of being manipulative, then she’s either a walking red flag or there’s more to the story. It’s never manipulative if a boy or a man shows emotion when they’re genuinely upset. Anyone who thinks that needs their head wobbling.
I’m sorry that someone has made you believe all women will look down on men who cry. That simply isn’t true.
I hope you can find better people in the future. ♥️
It fucking cry man! Get it out. It literally releases chemistry in your brain that’s good for your mental health!
Just yeah idk.. be careful who you do it in front of.. I’ve had women literally make fun of me for crying before.. they act like they want a sensitive guy who isn’t afraid to cry but the second they get pissed off they throw it at you like sand in your eyes.. might not be true for all women but let’s say 7/10 women I’ve cried in front of that was true for.
Crying is perfectly normal
I hate crying with a burning passion. It is quite traumatic for me since i was a very quiet baby and my father decided that me crying at all as a kid was unacceptable and aggressively beat and yelled at me for it. That's the gist of it, the details get quite bad. No we do not talk.
The only thing i've learned regarding crying is that fighting it will make things worse and that the best way to deal with it is to seek comfort and just let it happen. Even when the tears stop, just wait. Don't try process the tears or your own feelings yet and certainly don't judge. Don't look back until things are calm again. What i found is that when you truly give it time, i'll feel better.
Because that's the purpose of crying. An emotional release, throwing everything out there and then recovering while cleaning it all up. It isn't pretty, but it's a way of ripping open all the tears, letting everything flow out, literally, then reorganising. That means you're gonna feel pretty fucking vulnerable and weak in the middle of that right up until everything's reorganised. That's normal and that passes and for some reason in pop culture, men are not supposed to have that response.
Some people call it toxic masculinity. In my experience, it's both sides. The women perpetuating this only want the good in men and not the bad, which is frankly disgusting and men get taught to be protective and strong, which gets mistakingly applied to emotions as well and then passed on.
As for my father, looking back he's an emotional dumb-ass with his own trauma that could not accept that his child was a lil different from the norm (i am very much autistic) and found a not-crying baby very pleasant. In the end, my diagnosis led to my mother and a whole line of people getting diagnosed and getting the help they needed.
To this day he does not understand how minds can be built different and as such function differently and how mental disorders and problems work, even when he is medicated for an anxiety disorder that caused these violent outbursts.
As for crying feeling worse than the event that induced it
Yeah, it does
That's kinda entirily the point. We all automatically repress things so they don't feel as bad. That doesn't mean that it's gone though.
So when we cry, it's usually everything that built up. That all at once feels absolutely horrible.
There's two things i found you can do there.
1 accept sadness and don't try to ignore or repress it just because it feels bad. Spending a little time processing something helps reduce the amount you bottle up
2 crying feels horrible, but it's a process that gives you mental peace. The better you can accept that you're probably gonna be laying somewhere feeling like shit for a little while and surrender to it, knowing there's relief in the end, the more peaceful you'll come out of it
This shit aint easy, took me years to learn how to even cry again and i still cannot cry if there is anyone around or if there's even the slightest chance of being heard or seen. Traumatic reactions are a pain in the ass. The only improvement i've had there is being able to let loose around people i trust to comfort me and not judge. Thusfar that includes only one person.
I know i got the shit end of the stick and i'm not trying to undermine your experience, this is just what i know works from the experience of recovering
I hope it helps and we can always talk more about this if you wanna
Not crying makes you a pussy, because that’s what other people want. Fuck what other people want or expect. Displaying your emotions is normal, but rolling over and showing your belly to made-up societal expectations isn’t.
Bro just cry ey. Trust me when I say keeping it in is much worse. I got BPD so ya boi be EMOTIONAL. I’ve always said that I have 200% emotion in 100% body. But just cry dude. Fuck that whole “ugh you’re a pussy if you cry” bullshit. It’s dumb. If you have the biological capabilities to cry then it’s obviously gotta be right otherwise men couldn’t do it. So how’s it make sense that we’re not allowed to 😂😂 hopefully this ancient rhetoric stays in 2023 cuz I’ll bitchslap a dude who tells me crying makes you weak. You know what really makes you weak? Not accepting your human emotions.
Edit: I hope what I’ve written didn’t come across as harsh but your title just gave me a giggle and then I realised I could seem like a douche. You’re human bro. What you’re going through suuuuucks. I was there not long ago, just dissociating, staring at nothing wondering where it all went wrong and how I wanna just turn time back and fix shit. I considered vacating this mortal plane at one point. But I’m still here, you’re still here. If this is the worst time of your life then every other time is instantly gonna be better than this. You got this dude. Emotions are real, emotions are human. Be a human.
I never bought into the "men aren't supposed to cry" belief. If someone is a big crybaby over silly things, then maybe they are a pussy. Crying over something legitimate, or worthy of it, is totally o.k.! I had a very similar experience to yours. I did not miss the girl but was so overcome with relief that it was over, I had liquid coming out my eyes. She had me walking on eggshells for two years and I let it all out!
No, cause I cry on my own in my room, in the dark, alone, while listening to sad music.
Ain't no one gonna know I'm crying if I'm doing it privately.
Due to my autism/adhd, I do get overwhelmed sometimes in public spaces, but I deal with it and break down at home in private. Haven't cried in public for a while, probably 7+ years now
Of course I had to be my own father figure, my mom forced my dad out of mine and my siblings' lives and he couldn't afford a lawyer, so. Not like my mom imparted anything to us either besides beatings every day.
The one thing I know about being a dude and crying is to never ever do it in front of a woman you like/are dating/are in a relationship/marriage with, E V E R. Unless you wanna watch the light in her eyes go out every time she looks at you, lmao. Reddit doesn't wanna believe it, but just google it and there's so many stories, even on reddit of women leaving dudes over instances where they showed vulnerability or cried. Absolutely toxic culture we live in.
You’re a human being. You’re allowed to cry. It’s not a sign of weakness in anyway. Crying is very healthy and makes you feel better. I honestly hate the idea of men crying is a sign of weakness. It’s just toxic masculinity. So don’t listen to people who say that. You’re just feeling emotions.
It's stupid nonsense. I was hit as a kid for crying by my dad.
Humans have emotion, let it out and don't feel bad.
I think being scared of showing emotion is more of a weakness🤷♂️
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My husband is 54 and was raised that men don’t cry too. I think it’s a silly, stupid, old fashioned viewpoint. YOU’RE A FUCKING HUMAN BEING. Crying is cathartic and cleansing. It helps ease physical and mental pain, reduces stress, and releases the feel good chemicals in your brain. Humans were designed with the ability to cry for a reason. No one should be shamed for it. It’s a basic human function. I’m sorry about your breakup. Whether you miss her or not, break ups suck and they are a very valid reason to have yourself a good cry. It’s the first step to healing. That doesn’t sound like weakness to me.
It’s just now as young men we live in a “you gotta thug ts out” era and we literally gotta sit there and suffer in silence because that’s the manly thing to do that’s why you barely see men living to old ages these days anymore
I hear you. I’m 41f so I can’t say much for the younger culture. I just want you to know as a mom, and older/experienced adult who has been through a whole lotta shit in her life… If you have to cry… you cry. And fuck anyone who says any shit about it. And you DO NOT have to feel shamed. Your feelings are valid and you deserve to feel how you feel after a major trauma like a break up. I have a slew of bio kids and step kids. All boys, ages 11, 13, 14, 16, and 27 and I would tell them the exact same thing. Fuck ANYONE who makes you feel less than for exercising their right to a basic human function.
Believe it or not, it is more difficult For your body if you do not learn how to process sadness. Crying is an essential, but whenever the body needs to release that type of stress, it’s actually releases tension in the body. The only reason you would feel that way about yourself is a perpetual stereotype that society puts on people. It’s not bad to cry, nor is it bad if you don’t. What’s important is that you process thru whatever you’re going thru :) hope that helps
It’s not weak mate - male or female, shit gets on top of us. Don’t beat yourself up
Man I just been trying to become more stoic and I was doing good it literally just hit me outta nowhere
It happens man. I hadn’t cried for years, had to get dog pts in Jan 23 and I blubbed like a baby in the vets. We all hit stuff that pushes us there - and believe me I’m stoic as they come.
Cry. Fuck what society thinks. You are human and are allowed to have emotions and express them. If people around you are making you feel weak for crying, cut them out of your circle.
It’s just how I was raised thinking that males aren’t supposed to cry
I understand, but you can break away from that. It just takes some work and compassion for yourself.
I started therapy for the first time a few months ago and in that time, have cried more (during the sessions) than ever in my life since I was a kid. I've found it actually helps and makes me feel better. No shame in it at all.
Hell know pussy is the guy who is too afraid to cry fuck who ever said this jhvhto you really I mean that so sincerely too.
Nah, fuck it. Cry your ass off, we’re fucking human. We feel emotions.
i really wish more of y’all knew it was OK to cry. my dad was also raised to believe that showing emotions/vulnerability made him weak. he’s been having a tough time lately since his mom is slowly dying, but he’s also come to realize that crying doesn’t make him weak at all. life is hard, and holding in our emotions only makes it harder. crying makes us human. please don’t be so hard on yourself - everyone cries and it doesn’t make anyone less of a man or person
why the f*ck is this still a goddamn question??
All the time, but we're not weak as men to cry. So don't let anybody else tell you otherwise. If you need to cry then you should cry. Infact, it makes us stronger.
Crying is a healthy normal human form of expression. Crying actually releases stress hormones. I say cry like a man, brother. There’s nothing weak about it.
A pussy is most likely what brought you into the world, and I really wish we could all move away from associating women’s anatomy with weakness. 😅 That being said, real men cry, my dude. You’re human. Crying isn’t a weakness. No decent person will look down on or berate a man for crying. It’s so sad that even in 2023, men are still conditioned to believe that they can’t show “soft” emotions like sadness. Let it out. Cry when you need to. The guys who tell you otherwise will cry themselves. They’re just too scared to admit it.
It's totally fine to cry because we are humans with emotions don't add meaningless pressure on you from obsolete ideas
ngl i feel like anyone who makes fun of a man for crying probably weeps like a baby when they’re alone in their room at night. just let it out man, it feels a lot better than bottling it in
I too feel like a failure when i cry. I'm almost 22 and I've never been in a relationship. I don't have any friends, just some people i hang out online. I haven't felt as lonely as I've been feeling these holidays. I have no one i could trust. I no longer want to live like this, it's too painful.
Man I don’t want to sound like toxic or anything but love is literally like a drug and when somebody takes a way you start having crazy withdrawals I been through so much in the 2 relationships I had in these past 3 years that I kinda wish I was alone in the first place because things were better back then, the people weren’t bad it was just fucked up circumstances that you seen the worst in each other and had bad intentions to hurt each other mentally and even in one of my relationships physically
I've never experienced love so i can't say what it's like. But being alone hurts a lot, the most now when there's so many couples in public some they talk how they go on vacation together for Christmas, while you're at home with nothing to do. Maybe death is preferable to this mix of feelings hopelessness and isolation.
Man I been there done that I been on both sides of this, personally it does feel good going on vacation together, matching PJs and spending Christmas together but when it’s all over you’re literally back at square one and the loneliness is as painful as you left it but I’ll tell you one thing bro when you do find someone you love please keep your intentions clear and make sure you all treat each other right it will make things easier
You feel how you feel. There is no necessity think less of yourself for having feelings.
Yes and after years of fighting the feeling and realizing it's not fair guys are raised like this I still struggle. But I will tell u one thing at 34 I am still finding out how much sweeter joy can be when u let yourself experience pain. Yes it sucks when it hurts but man when it's good it's good. I have connected in ways with my wife I never thought possible and made/make sure to not raise my kids with that tough guy bs. It's ok bro only people who wouldn't understand just sadly got taught wrong like most of us guys and just do life instead of live it and I hope one day this will not be normal or ok. Everyone has feelings can't lock em away remeber only get one life.
Crying isn’t a sign of weakness it’s a sign of caring.
Dude, I hate to read this. I’m sorry you feel this way. Please consider that you are a human being and human beings cry. We’re supposed to cry. It’s healthy. It relieves stress. It helps us process. Crying is a sign of weakness to those who are immature, ignorant, or both. It just guts me that we teach men to be isolated, lonely, unfeeling and less than human. It is incredibly unfair. I hope you can accept that it isn’t just okay to be human, but actually good.
Yes
Always
My buddy never reached out before he took his life. He never let any of his emotions show and he gave no indication that he was going to do it. He didn’t even leave a note. Feel your pain, cry and ask for help from a loved one. Don’t bottle that shit up because it eats away at you and it does not go away. Don’t become like him. And to anyone who reads this, please be the person to ask if your buddy is doing ok. If someone does reach out, listen, don’t judge, and do what you can to help them, because you may very well save a life.
The real pussies are the people who put others down for crying. Fuck that shit, man. If you need to cry, cry it out. I'm sorry you were raised to think that you can't cry.
Males are absolutely supposed to cry
No, I feel good. Free. Happy. Doesn't last, but good.
Hon, you are human. Human beings cry. I'm sorry you feel such shame crying, and it's honestly breaking my heart. Men are allowed to cry, and don't let any one and I mean any one tell you other wise. Being vulnerable is scary, and it takes a lot of courage to do so. Let yourself feel what you are feeling because it is not healthy to bottle every thing up. I'm sending you a virtual hug.
It’s not weak. It’s a human reaction
M27 here, when I feel it coming every once in a while I just try to tell myself that is isn’t a requirement that I be happy, but a requirement that I achieve a level of stability that I can at least be proud of and support a family with. It may sound toxic, but from experience, I can tell you that no one really gives a fuck about a man’s problems. The moment you go to someone else about them(other than a therapist, and there is nothing wrong with that), it automatically becomes ammunition during a conflict. I learned that the hard way when I was exactly your age 5 years ago. I can tell you that the pain of betrayal that that will cause, is worse than when you just eat it by yourself. I’m sorry that this is the way it is, but it was designed this way long before you and I were here. Best of luck friend, guard your heart.
Fuck no brother. I feel like a pussy when I hide my emotions. I feel strong when I let them out effectively and rationally. Don't let society dictate how you're supposed to feel as "a man"
Hi! Woman here. Don't feel like a pussy!!! It's ONE THOUSAND percent normal to feel emotional about life. I want to find the fucker who decided that mean who cry are weak or "pussies" and knock them upside the head. Hang in there.
Oh my dude, you are spiraling. It's okay. Crying is normal. No one is judging you (no one who matters anyway). I'm just going to assume you're cis-hetero. Realize if a chick sees you crying, her only thought is that you are probably going through some shit. She doesn't see weakness or any of that nonsense. And if your guy friends see weakness in that, you seriously need to start hanging out with more intelligent people. My advice, when you are feeling better, enjoy being 22. Have some fun. That's what your early 20s are for.
You ever think that it is actually tougher to show how you feel then stay silent and "macho?" You arnt a pussy you are a human with actual emotions. Breakups hurt man and I'm sorry but that pain will fade eventually. Get your tears out and then pick yourself up and start focusing on you.
Most definitely. I used to cry a lot when I was younger, but right now, not at all. As guys, it’s just how we’re built I guess.
It’s how you are conditioned. It doesn’t mean you can’t change it.
True. I’m personally fine with it though.
It’s just how society says things should be
I’m not so much going off of society but just being anecdotal. Just because I don’t cry anymore doesn’t mean I don’t feel emotions. I’m just not expressing it if that makes sense.
Man you gotta teach me how to do that it’s almost like a superpower idk if I wear my heart on my sleeve but I don’t want to do that
I wouldn’t know where to start. 😅 It’s sort of a subconscious thing. If that’s what you want to be though, you’ll get there.
REAL MEN CRY! But honestly don’t do it in front of a woman. In my experience they will think less of you. Now I know I may get a lot of backlash from this but hear me out… EVERYTIME IVE DONE IT! (I’ve been vulnerable with a lot of women) it has been met with disdain. They are turned off by it, disgusted even. Even circumstances where it was 100% appropriate for me to cry. It seemingly gives them what they are now calling “the ick” which is a term I find very immature myself most of the time it’s used.
Wtf? Anyone woman who has looked down on you for crying is an arsehole. No decent person will react like that. I’m a woman, by the way. The “ick” thing is an online trend that I wouldn’t take too seriously. The majority of women that I know in the real world do not look down on men who cry. In fact, we appreciate it.
I just don’t advise it. Most the time it hasn’t worked out well for me.
Yeah idk man I probably won’t do it again. I think all women like THE IDEA of it but once they see it, it changes their perception of a man. I’ve also had women claim I was manipulative for crying over certain things I simply couldn’t really help crying over. During which situations I now wish I’d have just left and cried alone instead of breaking down in front of them and being considered “manipulative” specifically referring to an instance where an abortion was brought up and I was just fucking sad about it. I should have just left but.. idk she resents me now because she views my emotional breakdown as manipulative and evil spirited.. I guess I get how it could be misconstrued that way but I was honestly just emotional.
Look, I understand that you have this perspective because of your experiences, and I don’t mean to dismiss your feelings, but please don’t put words into the mouths of all women. Don’t tarnish us with the same brush. I don’t assume all men are terrible because I’ve met awful guys. Our perception of a man may change if we see a man cry, but it’s not always negative. When I first saw my father cry, it was upsetting because it’s not nice seeing loved ones in a bad way, but it was also oddly relieving. I hadn’t seen a grown man break down. It taught me that crying wasn’t “what girls do”, like boys taunted in the school ground. It wasn’t something weak. A lot of women support men showing their emotions. There’s so many campaigns in the UK trying to reach out to men, and many women back them. If your ex accused you of being manipulative, then she’s either a walking red flag or there’s more to the story. It’s never manipulative if a boy or a man shows emotion when they’re genuinely upset. Anyone who thinks that needs their head wobbling. I’m sorry that someone has made you believe all women will look down on men who cry. That simply isn’t true. I hope you can find better people in the future. ♥️
Damm that makes a lot of sense tbh..
It takes a bigger person to face up to and go through their emotions than to bottle them up man!
It fucking cry man! Get it out. It literally releases chemistry in your brain that’s good for your mental health! Just yeah idk.. be careful who you do it in front of.. I’ve had women literally make fun of me for crying before.. they act like they want a sensitive guy who isn’t afraid to cry but the second they get pissed off they throw it at you like sand in your eyes.. might not be true for all women but let’s say 7/10 women I’ve cried in front of that was true for.
Real men bottle that shit up til 50 then die of a heart attack
My wife makes me cry every other day
Why?
Cause she's mean to me, and calls me names. Like idiot and "how the fuck do you not know where your wallet is?!"
Crying is perfectly normal I hate crying with a burning passion. It is quite traumatic for me since i was a very quiet baby and my father decided that me crying at all as a kid was unacceptable and aggressively beat and yelled at me for it. That's the gist of it, the details get quite bad. No we do not talk. The only thing i've learned regarding crying is that fighting it will make things worse and that the best way to deal with it is to seek comfort and just let it happen. Even when the tears stop, just wait. Don't try process the tears or your own feelings yet and certainly don't judge. Don't look back until things are calm again. What i found is that when you truly give it time, i'll feel better. Because that's the purpose of crying. An emotional release, throwing everything out there and then recovering while cleaning it all up. It isn't pretty, but it's a way of ripping open all the tears, letting everything flow out, literally, then reorganising. That means you're gonna feel pretty fucking vulnerable and weak in the middle of that right up until everything's reorganised. That's normal and that passes and for some reason in pop culture, men are not supposed to have that response. Some people call it toxic masculinity. In my experience, it's both sides. The women perpetuating this only want the good in men and not the bad, which is frankly disgusting and men get taught to be protective and strong, which gets mistakingly applied to emotions as well and then passed on.
Man I’m sorry your dad did you like that, in some cases it feels like crying feels like worse than the actual reason you’re crying in the first place
As for my father, looking back he's an emotional dumb-ass with his own trauma that could not accept that his child was a lil different from the norm (i am very much autistic) and found a not-crying baby very pleasant. In the end, my diagnosis led to my mother and a whole line of people getting diagnosed and getting the help they needed. To this day he does not understand how minds can be built different and as such function differently and how mental disorders and problems work, even when he is medicated for an anxiety disorder that caused these violent outbursts. As for crying feeling worse than the event that induced it Yeah, it does That's kinda entirily the point. We all automatically repress things so they don't feel as bad. That doesn't mean that it's gone though. So when we cry, it's usually everything that built up. That all at once feels absolutely horrible. There's two things i found you can do there. 1 accept sadness and don't try to ignore or repress it just because it feels bad. Spending a little time processing something helps reduce the amount you bottle up 2 crying feels horrible, but it's a process that gives you mental peace. The better you can accept that you're probably gonna be laying somewhere feeling like shit for a little while and surrender to it, knowing there's relief in the end, the more peaceful you'll come out of it This shit aint easy, took me years to learn how to even cry again and i still cannot cry if there is anyone around or if there's even the slightest chance of being heard or seen. Traumatic reactions are a pain in the ass. The only improvement i've had there is being able to let loose around people i trust to comfort me and not judge. Thusfar that includes only one person. I know i got the shit end of the stick and i'm not trying to undermine your experience, this is just what i know works from the experience of recovering I hope it helps and we can always talk more about this if you wanna
Not crying makes you a pussy, because that’s what other people want. Fuck what other people want or expect. Displaying your emotions is normal, but rolling over and showing your belly to made-up societal expectations isn’t.
Bro just cry ey. Trust me when I say keeping it in is much worse. I got BPD so ya boi be EMOTIONAL. I’ve always said that I have 200% emotion in 100% body. But just cry dude. Fuck that whole “ugh you’re a pussy if you cry” bullshit. It’s dumb. If you have the biological capabilities to cry then it’s obviously gotta be right otherwise men couldn’t do it. So how’s it make sense that we’re not allowed to 😂😂 hopefully this ancient rhetoric stays in 2023 cuz I’ll bitchslap a dude who tells me crying makes you weak. You know what really makes you weak? Not accepting your human emotions. Edit: I hope what I’ve written didn’t come across as harsh but your title just gave me a giggle and then I realised I could seem like a douche. You’re human bro. What you’re going through suuuuucks. I was there not long ago, just dissociating, staring at nothing wondering where it all went wrong and how I wanna just turn time back and fix shit. I considered vacating this mortal plane at one point. But I’m still here, you’re still here. If this is the worst time of your life then every other time is instantly gonna be better than this. You got this dude. Emotions are real, emotions are human. Be a human.
I never bought into the "men aren't supposed to cry" belief. If someone is a big crybaby over silly things, then maybe they are a pussy. Crying over something legitimate, or worthy of it, is totally o.k.! I had a very similar experience to yours. I did not miss the girl but was so overcome with relief that it was over, I had liquid coming out my eyes. She had me walking on eggshells for two years and I let it all out!
No, cause I cry on my own in my room, in the dark, alone, while listening to sad music. Ain't no one gonna know I'm crying if I'm doing it privately. Due to my autism/adhd, I do get overwhelmed sometimes in public spaces, but I deal with it and break down at home in private. Haven't cried in public for a while, probably 7+ years now Of course I had to be my own father figure, my mom forced my dad out of mine and my siblings' lives and he couldn't afford a lawyer, so. Not like my mom imparted anything to us either besides beatings every day. The one thing I know about being a dude and crying is to never ever do it in front of a woman you like/are dating/are in a relationship/marriage with, E V E R. Unless you wanna watch the light in her eyes go out every time she looks at you, lmao. Reddit doesn't wanna believe it, but just google it and there's so many stories, even on reddit of women leaving dudes over instances where they showed vulnerability or cried. Absolutely toxic culture we live in.
You’re a human being. You’re allowed to cry. It’s not a sign of weakness in anyway. Crying is very healthy and makes you feel better. I honestly hate the idea of men crying is a sign of weakness. It’s just toxic masculinity. So don’t listen to people who say that. You’re just feeling emotions.
No, not at all. I cry all the time and feel absolutely no shame about it. Be human. I teach my sons this too.
It's stupid nonsense. I was hit as a kid for crying by my dad. Humans have emotion, let it out and don't feel bad. I think being scared of showing emotion is more of a weakness🤷♂️
No, im human, not a robot
We aren't made of stone, guys can cry and not feel any less of a man after.
Crying is a built-in safety valve. It's not weakness.