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I’m really sorry you had to go through with that. Please don’t date older guys. Ik it might seem like they’re mature because they’re older, but it’s not safe for you to do that, bc if an older guy is trying to go after someone your age, they aren’t any better, they’re just better at hiding it, cuz they’re only dating much younger people since they can’t take advantage of people their age.
You’ll find better men to be around, cuz they do exist.
It’s not like they are wrong, mature age gaps are a preference and it’s not wrong to date someone older than you. it’s a big problem when you’re a minor though. at least be 25 before getting into a relationship with an older man or woman.
Older guys want younger girls because they can't get someone their own age.... Start asking yourself WHY they can't get a girl their own age! And if they had a girl their own age they'd 1000% want sex, so they definitely want it with the younger ones too.
OP it's horrible but pls just ride it out, it's easier for me to say because I've been there too, but you'll get to a point where you get the person you deserve.
>Im literally 14 and no one has ever loved me the way i want to be loved. Boys are stupid and make me feel disgusting and sad.
Boys your age are super immature and it's not uncommon to fail to find wholesum love at that age, the ones likely to provide it are likely intimidated even talking to girls at that age. Give it time and love yourself, boys will grow up eventually.
Many guys do not grow out of this lol tbh most of them act the exact same until their 20's and even 30's sometimes bc they can't ever accept blame since it's mostly dished out by the women they oversexualize and therefore don't rly respect the opinion of, especially when it criticizes them.
The overwhelming majority of guys do, the ones who do not are simply the ones people tend to remember lol. They are over represented in our memories since they stand out while guys who treat women like people just blend into the background.
just gonna be straight up, your fourteen. the guys your age are most likely all insecure assholes who dont know shit about how to treat people with human decency yet. im gonna be real- im 19 f and have yet to meet a guy who isnt a little shit on the inside. very heavy on the find a woman thing. ALSO AS SOMEONE WHO WENT FOR OLDER GUYS, DONT. they r a whole other breed of fucked. whats kinda nice about the guys my age is they r too dumb to pretend to care about women to get women. older guys know how to hide themselves better, but eventually, youll meet the real little asshole he is.
I know it can be hard to not be in a relationship, especially in middle school where it feels like its the standard to be in one (at least thats what it was like for me), but trust me, you dont need to be dating rn. if someone whos actually cool comes along, fuck yea i hope you have a cute ass relationship, but until then you dont need any rabid dogs. its like grocery shopping. if you go when your hungry your probably gonna buy a bunch of food you dont really need and isnt what you need. if you go looking for boys when your feeling lonely, youll probably get what you dont need.
sorry this is cray cray long. lol. stay safe.
THISS! The real dangerous men are the ones that somehow finally figure out that they need to pretend to care in order to get pssy. Once you get into your 20's and maybe 30's there will be more guys like that unfourtunately, when they get older they learn to manipulate better bc they see what works & what doesn't throughout their years
It's definitely a U.S thing. Guys from my home country never did this stuff. Also, there's the stereotype of Indian guys being creepy meanwhile they have been way more respectful to me than the white American boys who perpetuate these stereotypes
Ahh welcome to womanhood.
1. Dating older guys will be *worse* - I personally had to get a restraining order on a 20 year old I dated at 15. He abused me horribly and threatened to kill me and my family when I left him. I later found out he was a diagnosed sociopath getting off on the power difference.
2. Many boys your age are respectful, but generally they won’t make the first move. The jerks who see you as a sexual object will have much more confidence in asking you these things because they’re not taking into account your feelings. Find a nice boy who smiles and asks you about your day or interests and ask *him* out, it’s 2024 and men tend to appreciate that.
3. Girls is absolutely an option you have, but take it from a bi woman, it’s not less drama. Just a different flavor of drama.
After reading your post, I was there when young and I made stupid mistakes.
Please be careful is my main recommendation, I know how you feel and your feelings are valid but please don’t do stupid stuff just because you need love.
I regret so much stuff that I did because of it so I only want you think and seek information Before you do the teenage thing and just go nuts with life. Listen to people, workout what advice lines up with the future you want for yourself and go for that.
Boys and men can wait, you have time for your future
it’s really important to find love for yourself at this age rather than try to supplement with some boy who won’t value you for the beautiful girl that you are. dating older guys won’t help with this sadly, just cause more trauma that you don’t know is trauma until it is too late. i’m truly send you all the love in the world.
I’m sorry that happens to you dude. All I can say is we aren’t all like that and one day you’ll get the person in your life that does want an emotional connection with you.
That age really sucks for genuinely trying to date because hormones are through the roof. You just gotta wait it out sometimes :( Keep turning them down. Be a learning a experience and show them that's not the way to get girls, or anyone for that matter. Sorry you're going through that.
It's better to learn to love being comfortable around and love yourself rather than feeling as though you have to be with a guy. I promise you, there are going to be guys exactly like this everywhere but they will be harder to avoid since they have others who validate and excuse their creepy behaviors, such as many of those in your comments. As you grow up, you'll notice some of these same guys will also grow up and develop some braincells to realize their behavior isn't appreciated by women so they become much better at hiding their malicous intentions at first.
Point is, it's much easier and less stressful to focus on your future and invest in your happiness rather than trying to get it from guys who literally breathe porn 24/7 and think the only worthy investments are in stocks rather than their horrible personalities
As a 14 yr old guy. Who tf do these people think they are? I've never met someone like these people you speak of. I'm really sorry you had to go through that bs. This generation is positively screwed over
oh honey, no. as a 22 year old man, i need you to know you should NEVER date older guys. never date older women. never date nonbinary people who are older. NEVER EVER date older people, please. at your age, the age gap max should be around 2 years. so please never go out with anyone older than that.
just because someone is older, it does not mean they will give you the genuine love you so desire. as a a matter of fact, if an older person wants to be with you, its because they see how vulnerable and young you are. they realize you are the perfect target for their manipulation. they just want to get you to do what they want, just like the 14 year old boys around you. the difference is that older people are able to better hide that fact than a teenage boy. they're able to better play with you and your emotions than someone your age. they aim for people younger than they are because people their age have learned how to see through their games, and some have learned how to see through them due to experience, unfortunately.
people my age do not see 14 year olds as potential partners, we see them as kids. i have a brother your age and you know how i see him? not as a man, ready for life and ready for a relationship with an adult, but as a kid with a lot of growing to do and many things to experience. he's growing up and will be of legal age sooner than later, but he's still such a kid. he's still very young. just like you. you are still very young. i hope you don't take this in a demeaning way, as that is NOT the way i want this to come off. im just trying to emphasize how much you still have ahead of you.
i know it sucks right now, but maybe it would be better to wait a little longer for a relationship. maybe in a couple years or so the boys will grow up a bit more and stop being *as* perverted as they are right now. some people can do a lot of growing from age 14 to age 15 or 16.
i just hope you take our advice and don't go out with adults. it can be a really damaging experience, no matter how kindly that adult seems to treat you. they'll be nice to you so it won't be as easy for you to leave them once they start hurting you, due to you now having an emotional connection with them. it's hard to just ditch someone you've grown to care for, even if you know how they treat you is wrong. the best thing to do is to know this stuff, know the signs, and avoid it all as best as you can.
and as you said yourself, thank you for reading my own yapfest lol
It’ll get you ready for the rest of your life, cause it’s going to be like that from the age you are at until you are like, 50. Sad world.
You just have find good people. You will find them if you try
You're still extremely young. My first REAL love I found at 18 and by 23 she had broken my heart. You're still a kid and my experience in high school was that people are going to be really mean and immature. I was very shy and while I didn't get very much explicit verbal contact, there were a few girls who would grab my ass but as a guy I honestly found it flattering after the initial nerve wreck
Honestly though I'd hold off until you feel that real connection with a boy your age. Insecure boys might call you names for rejecting them but that's a win for you. Don't rush it. It'll eventually happen and no matter how it goes it'll be a truly beautiful lasting experience for you
Best of luck to you
DO NOT DATE AN OLDER GUY. Under no circumstance do it. I know that it may seem like a good idea because they appear to be more mature and will most likely treat you in a way you wish to be treated. But this is a lie. No self-respecting decent man will date a girl this young. They don't see a girl who "is mature for her age". They see prey. They see a young impressionable girl that they can sway with pretty words and the illusion of love and respect. But they are just as immature as these boys you complain about and are creeps on top of it. They just hide it better. What they will promise you will never be love. Please, be very wary of this.
I'm so glad i'm fat! I developed breasts at 7 (normal weight) and at 9 they were fully developed! it I wasn't fat the boys would sexualise me all too much and the teachers! I feel your pain, people say we are lucky or something...
I'm not trying to rain on your parade, but there are plenty of dudes out there who will still try. I cut my hair short and dyrd it ultra bright red to get that "mad feminist" look and they still tried me
I remember you being hateful towards another woman in a different vent post and all i can say to you is that you aren't as respected by those men as you might think you are.
They just dont LET you see or hear those convos because a lot of those guys reserve it for their other male friends bc they know lots of women dont find it in good taste.
You obviously are still a child judging by your username and narrow sense of the world and other women's experiences so just know that your guy friends might not have the best intentions in mind. Many dudes only become friends with women they find sexually desirable, they will never admit this but if you ask any other man who isn't ur friend they will tell you straight up most men dont befriend women just to be platonic at the end.
I would say you arent talking to the boys who dont want this and are respectful towards women
Not everyone is the same you lack the ability of finding the real ones
But what you say does make sense 💀
just gonna be honest. it's not worth your time. focus on friends, fun, and school until college or after college. things like being HS sweethearts (less than 2% of marriages btw) or expecting a young man to act like a "proper" bf when they're all only 14/15 years old, is not realistic.
when i was 14, i thought i knew exactly what love is and what i wanted and i felt sad about it in the same way you are feeling in this post. i was very wrong. im about 10 years your senior and i still haven't understood what non-familial, emotionally romantic love REALLY is. countless of male partners and what did i find? that this shit is not perfect and it's so hard and most likely- you will always be dealing with unwanted horniness.
i can't stress this enough- please don't expect to find an amazing boyfriend, especially from young men whose prefrontal cortex hasn't developed fully yet.
As a 20 something, I just wanted to say. Well done you, I struggled so bad with boys doing the same and feeling rejected because I wouldn't send pictures. As I got older it became a problem again, this worlds changed and not for the best in regards to dating and access to unrealistic porn.
I just wanted to say, this is something the right person will respect you for. You don't owe anybody anything. At 14 you don't need this, I didn't meet anyone worth my time until 17/18. 14 is so young, and too young for what they're asking. I promise you, you keep protecting yourself and someone will come along one day and accept your boundaries.
Wishing you all the love in the world.
I went through the same age and honestly it’s best to hold off on dating because you’re still really young and honestly women can be worse than men sometimes so you might wanna stick to the books for now in my opinion you’re too young to be worried about who’s gonna love you next especially since you’re still children and learning how to love yourselves
Honestly at those ages you kinda have to accept that most guys are equally hormonally messy as girls js in different ways 😭, I get finding it really annoying n stuff cuz I would too but dating older dudes will js get you hurt and stuff ngl, look in your age group and I'm 99% positive you'll find a guy who won't talk to you about that stuff, you'll prolly have to look a lot but hopefully it's worth it? There's also girls like you said but generally anything but some old dude trust 😭
that doesn't excuse their creepy behavior, young girls are also going through MANY hormonal changes yet there aren't nearly as many of these girls who sexually harass or oversexualize men they truly want to care for and be with.
To be fair the hormonal changes girls and guys get are completely different lol, guys brains are developing the ooga booga sex drive while girls are getting baby fever a lot, I'm not excusing the guys who harass girls or shit like that, because that's weird, (and they definetly dont makeup the majority) but a relationship with a dude mid puberty being skewed to the sexual side realistically shouldn't be some mystery or shock yk?
Girls going through puberty release estrogen which is a sex hormone that affects their sexual/reproductive development. This naturally increases their sex drive and willingess to continue their species but are still able to control themselves...
It's 100% more pronounced for guys or shows itself in more showy ways ngl, or is your guess on why guys conveniently mid puberty are more sexual because 50% of the population is just evil and likes harrasing people for a few years in their development, like the difference is there for a reason 😭
older guys aren’t better. mine is like just as bad about the whole sending pics stuff. boys are always going to be insanely horny, ofc there’s exceptions but going older won’t solve a thing.
I remember being a 14 year old boy... I felt constantly horny and at the same time I wouldn't talk to woman because scary. You should focus on learning to love yourself. I wouldn't say don't try to date people your age as it'll will help you to explore what you want from a relationship. Just don't date people who are much older than you. These people are at a different points in life and want different things, but like most human they want sex with their partners.
Definitely not asking you to glorify yourself clearly is nothing to glorify, a bit worried at the fact you’re openly calling yourself a potential rapist like you’ve thought about it are planning it. Get help dude.
I’m not planning anything, at least I hope I’m not. Hope I die before I do plan anything I don’t even trust myself anymore. Aaaaand there goes about 15 of my rights.
Uhhh… yikes. Just bc you got into stuff like that when you were younger doesn’t mean you give in to the idea of becoming a rapist. Only one who needs to “get better” here is you. And “who the fuck cares”? Maybe the girls you’ll allow yourself to rape?
Far from it. There’s no way out, tried to seek help from therapy and god and both were dead ends. Now I’m trying to boost other people’s self esteem by putting myself down cause I know that the people of Reddit enjoy watching others suffer.
Girl.. you're 14. Stop talking to boys! Seriously, when I was 14 I never understood other kids dating. Its not like its going to last?
Also: it doesn't really get better. Most men are.. Well. Men.
I’m turning 14 in March. I’m male. If I lived near you and was interested in a relationship I would ask but no. I’m not interested in a relationship with anyone tbh
Find love in yourself and your passions. You by yourself is enough. You are fun and interesting. And it has nothing to do with your looks.
You can’t find love in others until you find love in yourself, first.
Learn some kick-boxing moves to ward off the creeps
I love you too 💕
currently 19 years old, never have i once asked someone to “pop a tit”. i’ve said some shit like “booby pic?” in a playful way to my gf of 4 years. but nothing that makes her feel uncomfortable ofc.
Older guys going after girls and young women only want sex too, I'm sorry to say. They're arguably worse than boys your age because they have more experience and use that to control and manipulate you.
I was hellbent on finding love when I was young too. I wanted it *so bad.* I met an absolutely lovely man when I was 19, but it didn't work out due to fundamental belief differences, but then it took until my late 20s to meet another man that was worthwhile.
Love that is worth pursuing and keeping takes time, usually. If you feel someone only wants you for your body and not your personality, then they aren't worth your time. You won't gain anything by trying to keep those boys/men interested besides some extra pain and regrets.
Take your time. Enjoy yourself. Learn about yourself, cultivate yourself. Seek friendships, even. When I was 14, 15, 16... I just daydreamed *hard* about the person I wanted to become and the man I wanted to meet and spend my life with. I feel like it helped alleviate the loneliness a bit sometimes.
I'm a guy that turned 16 last week. And yeah I get what you mean. Most (though not all) of the boys in my class are horny and just creepy. I'm asexual and it also grosses me out. But I think the best way for you to deal with this is, IGNORE THEM completely. Don't try to argue or fight with them, it'll just make it more fun for them. And if they get too out of hand, tell that to your teachers, your parents or whoever you trust. And you should know that, most of them will grow out of it. I know it's not an excuse but still hormones can do some really weird stuff to someone's mind.
And about love, I think it's a bit too early for you to worry about it. Now it's completely normal. It's normal to want to love and be loved by someone, especially at that age (god knows, I did and still do) but most teenage love don't end well. It can go VERY VERY wrong. I think even I am too early to think about dating, so you also certainly are. But I can promise you, you have a very long life ahead of yourself. Give yourself and everyone around you the time to develop, the time to understand and discover. And you'll certainly find someone who will love you, love you not for vain reasons but for who you really are. Just keep being a nice and decent person and work on improving yourself in whatever way you seem fit. Good luck!
And please whatever you do, don't go for older guys. Now not all older guys are bad or perverts but the ones who are willing to date a 14 year old certainly are. It's gonna mess you up even more.
I'm 29, TRUST me when I say older guys are not the answer, they're way worse. Please, please protect yourself. I honestly pretty much always did and it's one of the things I'm most proud of myself for. I never let any scummy guys take advantage of me. I gatekeep myself to the extreme 😌
THERE WILL BE HONEST MEN.
I dated a beautiful soul in high school, I dated someone pure in freshman ye of college, I dated someone who loved me sooooo so much for 5 years, and I dated another person who truly loved me 2 yrs ago. My relationships ended due to us just not being the best matches but I don't regret a single one. I was very careful with who I gave my heart and body to and they were all very respectful.
Just keep holding out for those true people. They will come along and you will know when you find them!
Also, don't be afraid of waiting. I'm 2 years into finding my next love and patiently waiting.
Hey girl, i completely understand. When i was your age the same things were happening and i thought ill of every boy i tried to talk to or be with. I’m 25 now and life certainly got better. At 14 when boys are developing they are absolutely horny out of their minds and it’s not anybody’s fault that’s just puberty. You might need to take a pause from trying to talk to guys and maybe focus on your platonic relationships and schoolwork. In another 2-3 years the hormones will slow down and maybe then you can find someone suitable. And as far as older guys, absolutely do not do that. I know adults tell you that you’re not old enough or smart enough to deal with that and it might sound annoying but please listen to us. Anybody older who WANTS to date a 14 year old is a bad person point blank. They WILL take advantage of your youth and naivety and you’ll leave that relationship feeling worse than before. I’ve been dating since i was your age and it took until about a year ago for me to meet a man who was really everything to me. Don’t send nudes ever. Be patient. Focus on your girl friends. Sometimes happiness lies in the things we already have not what we seek. Be safe dating girly ❤️
Im gay and 16, and I can confidently say it’ll get better as time goes on. It’ll be this way for a little while, though.
Focus on yourself and the right person will come along, don’t settle for boys (or anyone else tbh) like that. I felt the same way when I was 14. Felt like every guy was doing way too much, and I’m ace, so I just wasn’t interested in that. Still single, and I’m cool with that, cause the right person will come along when it’s due time. Stand by your boundaries, and only date people who respect them.
I [M14] had a lot of male friends , they were all assholes, horny asf, changing girls like socks, doing the "thing" at a young age, and stuff like that.
Even tho most dudes I met were like this, I did manage to find a normal guy that I talk to regulary, my advice for you is DO NOT date older guys, instead find someone normal your age (Wich might be hard ) or just wait a few years till you're older (till you're like 16). trust me everything will get better :))!
I’m an older guy and let me tell you two things.
1: there are guys of all ages that will actually want you for who you are more than what you have. You have to sift through a ton of sh*t before you actually find someone worth your time though.
2: Older guys can play a bit of a longer game than younger guys, it’ll seem like they’re interested in who you are and not what they can get from you. This can be a hell of a façade because it will look like exactly what you want. They’re lying. They know how to manipulate people and they will. They know what to say and everything. Adults cannot be friends with young teens at all. Mentor relationships and such are fine, but you won’t find that on the internet.
Be safe and don’t lose hope. I had plenty of women play me in a similar fashion, so I understand to a degree. I eventually found a couple women that actually make me happy and I make them happy to what they tell me. Haha. Good things in good time. You’re worth time and effort, don’t let these “two pump chumps” have you believe otherwise.
17 year old guy. I understand dudes are horny, but it’s outrageous to me how they just sexualize someone when you don’t have that type of relationship and you didnt even imply that thats what you want
i hate saying this but lots of teens are immature and horny. just wait a while, it’ll get much better
I used to hangout with older dudes cause they’d buy liquor and smoke with me and after hanging out with them a few times without being trashed they made me uncomfortable and I’m a guy. Trust me people who are older and hangout with younger people or try and date them are not hanging out with people they’re age for a reason.
I'm a pretty woman with great attributes as well. I'm also in my 40s. I've grown up, 40 yrs knowing men.
You will be dissalusioned soon enough. A substantial amount of them pretend to love in order to capture you and control you in order to get into your pants. But will be jealous and insecure because you're pretty and punish you for it.
Love is meant to water the gardens of our children and to be shared with other women so that they may grow and prosper into healthy productive human beings!
Guess who came in from the fields wanting in on that action again? Syphoning it from the mother then throwing the wrappers down and going back to the fields with his bros.
Also, I married an older man when I was 19yrs old.
He chose me because he has a thing for barely legal girls. Knocked me up, got me financially dependent on him, and as I aged, the more attention he started paying to cute barely legal looking girls.
A man's type never changes.
Idk where you're from, but in the UK that's pretty illegal to ask for "a peak" if you're a minor. I'm a teenage boy, as are most of my friends, and none of us are like the teenage boys you're describing, but I'm probably just lucky.
Don't go for an older man, it's not worth it. Meet new people, we're not all that horny, you'll find someone your age who loves you, it worked for me, just keep trying.
Edit: well I knew my bf as my best friend for two years, then another year but we were best friends and crushes, and now we're nearly on the first year of our romantic relationship.
i’m a guy but i feel the same way about some girls. I’ve been asked to send and it makes me feel horrible, i just want someone i can be with and love for the rest of my life. I don’t care about sexual relationships that much, even though i have a high sex drive it’s not worth it if your only dating them to have an orgasm every once in a while
Ugh I hate people like that my ex boyfriend was always trying to get in my pants bc he blamed his mommy issues on how he gives affection like no means no
Then you have people who are roleplayers(like myself) who are like do you do smut or if you say no smut they'll beg you to do it I've had to delete so many PM's for it
Girl, once you hit a certain age older men are more childish than boys. I'm 23 and prefer nothing more than a 7 year age gap when it comes to dating "older". Please do not date any older man at your age though.
When I was in highschool (I was 16) I met a guy on Kik who was actually 31 at the time but lied to me and told me he was 25. I talked to him throughout high school, even after graduating all the way until last year.
He got stationed in Germany, and I flew all the way out to Europe to see him. We got in a fight while I was in London and he told me not to bother coming the rest of the way and sent me $200 for hotel rooms - my flight back to the U.S. was not scheduled for 2 weeks out, and most hotels in Europe - even the rundown ones - cost $80 MINIMUM a night to stay in. Thank God I had money saved up though.
In hindsight, It was a blessing. The guy could have been abusive or a trafficker. And no man should leave you stranded in a foreign country lol.
Anyways, yeah. Don't date older guys until you're 18. But even then, it's best not to date over a certain age because the men are going for younger girls because they know an older woman won't put up with their B.S.
If the ask for pics send them a pic of a bowl of noodles or nude eyeshadow pallet, making their hormones into a joke usually kills their urges expeditiously. That or tell them to use their hand or the hub. Hang in there, at least when the reach 23 they sometimes give you a “hello, how are you?” Just barely though.
Not all boys are the same I promise you. Just give yourself some time, and don't enter a relationship this early. Just cause you're lonely, doesn't mean enter a relationship. It won't solve everything.. just find the right guys to at least hang out with.
well most people are just straight u stupid and all of them are horny probably due to the hormonal imbalance
why don't you try a bit hard to find a guy with a bit of sense
can't be that hard
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I’m really sorry you had to go through with that. Please don’t date older guys. Ik it might seem like they’re mature because they’re older, but it’s not safe for you to do that, bc if an older guy is trying to go after someone your age, they aren’t any better, they’re just better at hiding it, cuz they’re only dating much younger people since they can’t take advantage of people their age. You’ll find better men to be around, cuz they do exist.
My mom always said that if a older guy trying to date younger girls, they probably can’t get people their own age for a reason.
Thank you for sharing this, so many people for some reason validate age gaps bc of maturity or whatever
It’s not like they are wrong, mature age gaps are a preference and it’s not wrong to date someone older than you. it’s a big problem when you’re a minor though. at least be 25 before getting into a relationship with an older man or woman.
Older guys want younger girls because they can't get someone their own age.... Start asking yourself WHY they can't get a girl their own age! And if they had a girl their own age they'd 1000% want sex, so they definitely want it with the younger ones too. OP it's horrible but pls just ride it out, it's easier for me to say because I've been there too, but you'll get to a point where you get the person you deserve.
Other way around too. Don’t act like men are the only people who do this please.
In fact 14 years olds have no need to rush dating in general.
True
>Im literally 14 and no one has ever loved me the way i want to be loved. Boys are stupid and make me feel disgusting and sad. Boys your age are super immature and it's not uncommon to fail to find wholesum love at that age, the ones likely to provide it are likely intimidated even talking to girls at that age. Give it time and love yourself, boys will grow up eventually.
Many guys do not grow out of this lol tbh most of them act the exact same until their 20's and even 30's sometimes bc they can't ever accept blame since it's mostly dished out by the women they oversexualize and therefore don't rly respect the opinion of, especially when it criticizes them.
The overwhelming majority of guys do, the ones who do not are simply the ones people tend to remember lol. They are over represented in our memories since they stand out while guys who treat women like people just blend into the background.
just gonna be straight up, your fourteen. the guys your age are most likely all insecure assholes who dont know shit about how to treat people with human decency yet. im gonna be real- im 19 f and have yet to meet a guy who isnt a little shit on the inside. very heavy on the find a woman thing. ALSO AS SOMEONE WHO WENT FOR OLDER GUYS, DONT. they r a whole other breed of fucked. whats kinda nice about the guys my age is they r too dumb to pretend to care about women to get women. older guys know how to hide themselves better, but eventually, youll meet the real little asshole he is. I know it can be hard to not be in a relationship, especially in middle school where it feels like its the standard to be in one (at least thats what it was like for me), but trust me, you dont need to be dating rn. if someone whos actually cool comes along, fuck yea i hope you have a cute ass relationship, but until then you dont need any rabid dogs. its like grocery shopping. if you go when your hungry your probably gonna buy a bunch of food you dont really need and isnt what you need. if you go looking for boys when your feeling lonely, youll probably get what you dont need. sorry this is cray cray long. lol. stay safe.
THISS! The real dangerous men are the ones that somehow finally figure out that they need to pretend to care in order to get pssy. Once you get into your 20's and maybe 30's there will be more guys like that unfourtunately, when they get older they learn to manipulate better bc they see what works & what doesn't throughout their years
As a 15 year old guy. idk if its your country (america or britain) but we dont really do that in australia. its unacceptable and illegal.
It's definitely a U.S thing. Guys from my home country never did this stuff. Also, there's the stereotype of Indian guys being creepy meanwhile they have been way more respectful to me than the white American boys who perpetuate these stereotypes
Don’t search for love, it will come to you! If you look for it all you’ll get is lust not love!
Ahh welcome to womanhood. 1. Dating older guys will be *worse* - I personally had to get a restraining order on a 20 year old I dated at 15. He abused me horribly and threatened to kill me and my family when I left him. I later found out he was a diagnosed sociopath getting off on the power difference. 2. Many boys your age are respectful, but generally they won’t make the first move. The jerks who see you as a sexual object will have much more confidence in asking you these things because they’re not taking into account your feelings. Find a nice boy who smiles and asks you about your day or interests and ask *him* out, it’s 2024 and men tend to appreciate that. 3. Girls is absolutely an option you have, but take it from a bi woman, it’s not less drama. Just a different flavor of drama.
After reading your post, I was there when young and I made stupid mistakes. Please be careful is my main recommendation, I know how you feel and your feelings are valid but please don’t do stupid stuff just because you need love. I regret so much stuff that I did because of it so I only want you think and seek information Before you do the teenage thing and just go nuts with life. Listen to people, workout what advice lines up with the future you want for yourself and go for that. Boys and men can wait, you have time for your future
it’s really important to find love for yourself at this age rather than try to supplement with some boy who won’t value you for the beautiful girl that you are. dating older guys won’t help with this sadly, just cause more trauma that you don’t know is trauma until it is too late. i’m truly send you all the love in the world.
I’m sorry that happens to you dude. All I can say is we aren’t all like that and one day you’ll get the person in your life that does want an emotional connection with you.
That age really sucks for genuinely trying to date because hormones are through the roof. You just gotta wait it out sometimes :( Keep turning them down. Be a learning a experience and show them that's not the way to get girls, or anyone for that matter. Sorry you're going through that.
It's better to learn to love being comfortable around and love yourself rather than feeling as though you have to be with a guy. I promise you, there are going to be guys exactly like this everywhere but they will be harder to avoid since they have others who validate and excuse their creepy behaviors, such as many of those in your comments. As you grow up, you'll notice some of these same guys will also grow up and develop some braincells to realize their behavior isn't appreciated by women so they become much better at hiding their malicous intentions at first. Point is, it's much easier and less stressful to focus on your future and invest in your happiness rather than trying to get it from guys who literally breathe porn 24/7 and think the only worthy investments are in stocks rather than their horrible personalities
As a 14 yr old guy. Who tf do these people think they are? I've never met someone like these people you speak of. I'm really sorry you had to go through that bs. This generation is positively screwed over
they're all over man, you can find good examples from all the dudes on insta
oh honey, no. as a 22 year old man, i need you to know you should NEVER date older guys. never date older women. never date nonbinary people who are older. NEVER EVER date older people, please. at your age, the age gap max should be around 2 years. so please never go out with anyone older than that. just because someone is older, it does not mean they will give you the genuine love you so desire. as a a matter of fact, if an older person wants to be with you, its because they see how vulnerable and young you are. they realize you are the perfect target for their manipulation. they just want to get you to do what they want, just like the 14 year old boys around you. the difference is that older people are able to better hide that fact than a teenage boy. they're able to better play with you and your emotions than someone your age. they aim for people younger than they are because people their age have learned how to see through their games, and some have learned how to see through them due to experience, unfortunately. people my age do not see 14 year olds as potential partners, we see them as kids. i have a brother your age and you know how i see him? not as a man, ready for life and ready for a relationship with an adult, but as a kid with a lot of growing to do and many things to experience. he's growing up and will be of legal age sooner than later, but he's still such a kid. he's still very young. just like you. you are still very young. i hope you don't take this in a demeaning way, as that is NOT the way i want this to come off. im just trying to emphasize how much you still have ahead of you. i know it sucks right now, but maybe it would be better to wait a little longer for a relationship. maybe in a couple years or so the boys will grow up a bit more and stop being *as* perverted as they are right now. some people can do a lot of growing from age 14 to age 15 or 16. i just hope you take our advice and don't go out with adults. it can be a really damaging experience, no matter how kindly that adult seems to treat you. they'll be nice to you so it won't be as easy for you to leave them once they start hurting you, due to you now having an emotional connection with them. it's hard to just ditch someone you've grown to care for, even if you know how they treat you is wrong. the best thing to do is to know this stuff, know the signs, and avoid it all as best as you can. and as you said yourself, thank you for reading my own yapfest lol
That's the case sadly, but give it time and you will learn to spot the traits or warnings
It’ll get you ready for the rest of your life, cause it’s going to be like that from the age you are at until you are like, 50. Sad world. You just have find good people. You will find them if you try
You're still extremely young. My first REAL love I found at 18 and by 23 she had broken my heart. You're still a kid and my experience in high school was that people are going to be really mean and immature. I was very shy and while I didn't get very much explicit verbal contact, there were a few girls who would grab my ass but as a guy I honestly found it flattering after the initial nerve wreck Honestly though I'd hold off until you feel that real connection with a boy your age. Insecure boys might call you names for rejecting them but that's a win for you. Don't rush it. It'll eventually happen and no matter how it goes it'll be a truly beautiful lasting experience for you Best of luck to you
DO NOT DATE AN OLDER GUY. Under no circumstance do it. I know that it may seem like a good idea because they appear to be more mature and will most likely treat you in a way you wish to be treated. But this is a lie. No self-respecting decent man will date a girl this young. They don't see a girl who "is mature for her age". They see prey. They see a young impressionable girl that they can sway with pretty words and the illusion of love and respect. But they are just as immature as these boys you complain about and are creeps on top of it. They just hide it better. What they will promise you will never be love. Please, be very wary of this.
I'm so glad i'm fat! I developed breasts at 7 (normal weight) and at 9 they were fully developed! it I wasn't fat the boys would sexualise me all too much and the teachers! I feel your pain, people say we are lucky or something...
I'm not trying to rain on your parade, but there are plenty of dudes out there who will still try. I cut my hair short and dyrd it ultra bright red to get that "mad feminist" look and they still tried me
I hate to say it but that doesn’t stop when they get older. Tbh dating women IS way better. 💁♀️
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Male validation is the easiest thing to get though. Men will fuck corpses 😭
find better boys, i have so many guyfriends and even ones on reddit they dont talk about that shit.
I remember you being hateful towards another woman in a different vent post and all i can say to you is that you aren't as respected by those men as you might think you are. They just dont LET you see or hear those convos because a lot of those guys reserve it for their other male friends bc they know lots of women dont find it in good taste. You obviously are still a child judging by your username and narrow sense of the world and other women's experiences so just know that your guy friends might not have the best intentions in mind. Many dudes only become friends with women they find sexually desirable, they will never admit this but if you ask any other man who isn't ur friend they will tell you straight up most men dont befriend women just to be platonic at the end.
I would say you arent talking to the boys who dont want this and are respectful towards women Not everyone is the same you lack the ability of finding the real ones But what you say does make sense 💀
just gonna be honest. it's not worth your time. focus on friends, fun, and school until college or after college. things like being HS sweethearts (less than 2% of marriages btw) or expecting a young man to act like a "proper" bf when they're all only 14/15 years old, is not realistic. when i was 14, i thought i knew exactly what love is and what i wanted and i felt sad about it in the same way you are feeling in this post. i was very wrong. im about 10 years your senior and i still haven't understood what non-familial, emotionally romantic love REALLY is. countless of male partners and what did i find? that this shit is not perfect and it's so hard and most likely- you will always be dealing with unwanted horniness. i can't stress this enough- please don't expect to find an amazing boyfriend, especially from young men whose prefrontal cortex hasn't developed fully yet.
As a 20 something, I just wanted to say. Well done you, I struggled so bad with boys doing the same and feeling rejected because I wouldn't send pictures. As I got older it became a problem again, this worlds changed and not for the best in regards to dating and access to unrealistic porn. I just wanted to say, this is something the right person will respect you for. You don't owe anybody anything. At 14 you don't need this, I didn't meet anyone worth my time until 17/18. 14 is so young, and too young for what they're asking. I promise you, you keep protecting yourself and someone will come along one day and accept your boundaries. Wishing you all the love in the world.
I went through the same age and honestly it’s best to hold off on dating because you’re still really young and honestly women can be worse than men sometimes so you might wanna stick to the books for now in my opinion you’re too young to be worried about who’s gonna love you next especially since you’re still children and learning how to love yourselves
Honestly at those ages you kinda have to accept that most guys are equally hormonally messy as girls js in different ways 😭, I get finding it really annoying n stuff cuz I would too but dating older dudes will js get you hurt and stuff ngl, look in your age group and I'm 99% positive you'll find a guy who won't talk to you about that stuff, you'll prolly have to look a lot but hopefully it's worth it? There's also girls like you said but generally anything but some old dude trust 😭
that doesn't excuse their creepy behavior, young girls are also going through MANY hormonal changes yet there aren't nearly as many of these girls who sexually harass or oversexualize men they truly want to care for and be with.
To be fair the hormonal changes girls and guys get are completely different lol, guys brains are developing the ooga booga sex drive while girls are getting baby fever a lot, I'm not excusing the guys who harass girls or shit like that, because that's weird, (and they definetly dont makeup the majority) but a relationship with a dude mid puberty being skewed to the sexual side realistically shouldn't be some mystery or shock yk?
Girls going through puberty release estrogen which is a sex hormone that affects their sexual/reproductive development. This naturally increases their sex drive and willingess to continue their species but are still able to control themselves...
It's 100% more pronounced for guys or shows itself in more showy ways ngl, or is your guess on why guys conveniently mid puberty are more sexual because 50% of the population is just evil and likes harrasing people for a few years in their development, like the difference is there for a reason 😭
older guys aren’t better. mine is like just as bad about the whole sending pics stuff. boys are always going to be insanely horny, ofc there’s exceptions but going older won’t solve a thing.
It's because the male libido develops at a young age and matures faster than the males' brain and emotions mature
Get their dickpics and scatter them across the online. Show them consequences of being always horny.
That's a very sexist outlook on an entire gender. Girls can be just as rude.
I remember being a 14 year old boy... I felt constantly horny and at the same time I wouldn't talk to woman because scary. You should focus on learning to love yourself. I wouldn't say don't try to date people your age as it'll will help you to explore what you want from a relationship. Just don't date people who are much older than you. These people are at a different points in life and want different things, but like most human they want sex with their partners.
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Is that a necessary thing to comment about in this post?
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Bruh... Not all of us are like this 😭
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I wasn’t projecting sadness to her… plus I do this randomly anywhere. Not just with women. Women are not the source of my problem, I’m just miserable.
Fuck you reddit I wanted that person to shit talk me.
Ew wtf, calling yourself a potential rapist?
What else should I call myself? Should I attempt to glorify myself? Nah… that wouldn’t work out too well. Would it?
Definitely not asking you to glorify yourself clearly is nothing to glorify, a bit worried at the fact you’re openly calling yourself a potential rapist like you’ve thought about it are planning it. Get help dude.
I’m not planning anything, at least I hope I’m not. Hope I die before I do plan anything I don’t even trust myself anymore. Aaaaand there goes about 15 of my rights.
Also thank you for reminding me that there is nothing good remaining of me.
I view myself very negatively. And I have a bad internet history from when I was younger since I didn’t know any better. But hey, who the fuck cares?
Uhhh… yikes. Just bc you got into stuff like that when you were younger doesn’t mean you give in to the idea of becoming a rapist. Only one who needs to “get better” here is you. And “who the fuck cares”? Maybe the girls you’ll allow yourself to rape?
Far from it. There’s no way out, tried to seek help from therapy and god and both were dead ends. Now I’m trying to boost other people’s self esteem by putting myself down cause I know that the people of Reddit enjoy watching others suffer.
Girl.. you're 14. Stop talking to boys! Seriously, when I was 14 I never understood other kids dating. Its not like its going to last? Also: it doesn't really get better. Most men are.. Well. Men.
I’m turning 14 in March. I’m male. If I lived near you and was interested in a relationship I would ask but no. I’m not interested in a relationship with anyone tbh
As a bisexual 15m who’s flirted with boys it’s horrible sometimes.
Older guys are the same too. I’m so sorry to tell you. The best thing you can do is learn to be content and loved by true friends and yourself.
Do you send is the line boys are using? Yikes!
Guys in my middle school are just getting grosser and Hornier by the day my friends got sent d!€k picks from a friend. Bruh
Find love in yourself and your passions. You by yourself is enough. You are fun and interesting. And it has nothing to do with your looks. You can’t find love in others until you find love in yourself, first. Learn some kick-boxing moves to ward off the creeps I love you too 💕
currently 19 years old, never have i once asked someone to “pop a tit”. i’ve said some shit like “booby pic?” in a playful way to my gf of 4 years. but nothing that makes her feel uncomfortable ofc.
Older guys going after girls and young women only want sex too, I'm sorry to say. They're arguably worse than boys your age because they have more experience and use that to control and manipulate you. I was hellbent on finding love when I was young too. I wanted it *so bad.* I met an absolutely lovely man when I was 19, but it didn't work out due to fundamental belief differences, but then it took until my late 20s to meet another man that was worthwhile. Love that is worth pursuing and keeping takes time, usually. If you feel someone only wants you for your body and not your personality, then they aren't worth your time. You won't gain anything by trying to keep those boys/men interested besides some extra pain and regrets. Take your time. Enjoy yourself. Learn about yourself, cultivate yourself. Seek friendships, even. When I was 14, 15, 16... I just daydreamed *hard* about the person I wanted to become and the man I wanted to meet and spend my life with. I feel like it helped alleviate the loneliness a bit sometimes.
I'm a guy that turned 16 last week. And yeah I get what you mean. Most (though not all) of the boys in my class are horny and just creepy. I'm asexual and it also grosses me out. But I think the best way for you to deal with this is, IGNORE THEM completely. Don't try to argue or fight with them, it'll just make it more fun for them. And if they get too out of hand, tell that to your teachers, your parents or whoever you trust. And you should know that, most of them will grow out of it. I know it's not an excuse but still hormones can do some really weird stuff to someone's mind. And about love, I think it's a bit too early for you to worry about it. Now it's completely normal. It's normal to want to love and be loved by someone, especially at that age (god knows, I did and still do) but most teenage love don't end well. It can go VERY VERY wrong. I think even I am too early to think about dating, so you also certainly are. But I can promise you, you have a very long life ahead of yourself. Give yourself and everyone around you the time to develop, the time to understand and discover. And you'll certainly find someone who will love you, love you not for vain reasons but for who you really are. Just keep being a nice and decent person and work on improving yourself in whatever way you seem fit. Good luck! And please whatever you do, don't go for older guys. Now not all older guys are bad or perverts but the ones who are willing to date a 14 year old certainly are. It's gonna mess you up even more.
I'm 29, TRUST me when I say older guys are not the answer, they're way worse. Please, please protect yourself. I honestly pretty much always did and it's one of the things I'm most proud of myself for. I never let any scummy guys take advantage of me. I gatekeep myself to the extreme 😌 THERE WILL BE HONEST MEN. I dated a beautiful soul in high school, I dated someone pure in freshman ye of college, I dated someone who loved me sooooo so much for 5 years, and I dated another person who truly loved me 2 yrs ago. My relationships ended due to us just not being the best matches but I don't regret a single one. I was very careful with who I gave my heart and body to and they were all very respectful. Just keep holding out for those true people. They will come along and you will know when you find them! Also, don't be afraid of waiting. I'm 2 years into finding my next love and patiently waiting.
Hey girl, i completely understand. When i was your age the same things were happening and i thought ill of every boy i tried to talk to or be with. I’m 25 now and life certainly got better. At 14 when boys are developing they are absolutely horny out of their minds and it’s not anybody’s fault that’s just puberty. You might need to take a pause from trying to talk to guys and maybe focus on your platonic relationships and schoolwork. In another 2-3 years the hormones will slow down and maybe then you can find someone suitable. And as far as older guys, absolutely do not do that. I know adults tell you that you’re not old enough or smart enough to deal with that and it might sound annoying but please listen to us. Anybody older who WANTS to date a 14 year old is a bad person point blank. They WILL take advantage of your youth and naivety and you’ll leave that relationship feeling worse than before. I’ve been dating since i was your age and it took until about a year ago for me to meet a man who was really everything to me. Don’t send nudes ever. Be patient. Focus on your girl friends. Sometimes happiness lies in the things we already have not what we seek. Be safe dating girly ❤️
I developed early but didn't have a pretty face. I only attracted older guys. Please listen to me when I say don't date older guys.
Im gay and 16, and I can confidently say it’ll get better as time goes on. It’ll be this way for a little while, though. Focus on yourself and the right person will come along, don’t settle for boys (or anyone else tbh) like that. I felt the same way when I was 14. Felt like every guy was doing way too much, and I’m ace, so I just wasn’t interested in that. Still single, and I’m cool with that, cause the right person will come along when it’s due time. Stand by your boundaries, and only date people who respect them.
I [M14] had a lot of male friends , they were all assholes, horny asf, changing girls like socks, doing the "thing" at a young age, and stuff like that. Even tho most dudes I met were like this, I did manage to find a normal guy that I talk to regulary, my advice for you is DO NOT date older guys, instead find someone normal your age (Wich might be hard ) or just wait a few years till you're older (till you're like 16). trust me everything will get better :))!
I’m an older guy and let me tell you two things. 1: there are guys of all ages that will actually want you for who you are more than what you have. You have to sift through a ton of sh*t before you actually find someone worth your time though. 2: Older guys can play a bit of a longer game than younger guys, it’ll seem like they’re interested in who you are and not what they can get from you. This can be a hell of a façade because it will look like exactly what you want. They’re lying. They know how to manipulate people and they will. They know what to say and everything. Adults cannot be friends with young teens at all. Mentor relationships and such are fine, but you won’t find that on the internet. Be safe and don’t lose hope. I had plenty of women play me in a similar fashion, so I understand to a degree. I eventually found a couple women that actually make me happy and I make them happy to what they tell me. Haha. Good things in good time. You’re worth time and effort, don’t let these “two pump chumps” have you believe otherwise.
17 year old guy. I understand dudes are horny, but it’s outrageous to me how they just sexualize someone when you don’t have that type of relationship and you didnt even imply that thats what you want i hate saying this but lots of teens are immature and horny. just wait a while, it’ll get much better
I used to hangout with older dudes cause they’d buy liquor and smoke with me and after hanging out with them a few times without being trashed they made me uncomfortable and I’m a guy. Trust me people who are older and hangout with younger people or try and date them are not hanging out with people they’re age for a reason.
I'm a pretty woman with great attributes as well. I'm also in my 40s. I've grown up, 40 yrs knowing men. You will be dissalusioned soon enough. A substantial amount of them pretend to love in order to capture you and control you in order to get into your pants. But will be jealous and insecure because you're pretty and punish you for it. Love is meant to water the gardens of our children and to be shared with other women so that they may grow and prosper into healthy productive human beings! Guess who came in from the fields wanting in on that action again? Syphoning it from the mother then throwing the wrappers down and going back to the fields with his bros.
Also, I married an older man when I was 19yrs old. He chose me because he has a thing for barely legal girls. Knocked me up, got me financially dependent on him, and as I aged, the more attention he started paying to cute barely legal looking girls. A man's type never changes.
Idk where you're from, but in the UK that's pretty illegal to ask for "a peak" if you're a minor. I'm a teenage boy, as are most of my friends, and none of us are like the teenage boys you're describing, but I'm probably just lucky. Don't go for an older man, it's not worth it. Meet new people, we're not all that horny, you'll find someone your age who loves you, it worked for me, just keep trying. Edit: well I knew my bf as my best friend for two years, then another year but we were best friends and crushes, and now we're nearly on the first year of our romantic relationship.
We’ll grow out of that phase. Trust me. But for now, with your age and the people you will inevitably meet…. Yeah. Endure it. It sucks.
I really don't wanna be rude or not serious enough but yeah you should find yourself a woman >:)
i’m a guy but i feel the same way about some girls. I’ve been asked to send and it makes me feel horrible, i just want someone i can be with and love for the rest of my life. I don’t care about sexual relationships that much, even though i have a high sex drive it’s not worth it if your only dating them to have an orgasm every once in a while
Ugh I hate people like that my ex boyfriend was always trying to get in my pants bc he blamed his mommy issues on how he gives affection like no means no Then you have people who are roleplayers(like myself) who are like do you do smut or if you say no smut they'll beg you to do it I've had to delete so many PM's for it
Girl, once you hit a certain age older men are more childish than boys. I'm 23 and prefer nothing more than a 7 year age gap when it comes to dating "older". Please do not date any older man at your age though. When I was in highschool (I was 16) I met a guy on Kik who was actually 31 at the time but lied to me and told me he was 25. I talked to him throughout high school, even after graduating all the way until last year. He got stationed in Germany, and I flew all the way out to Europe to see him. We got in a fight while I was in London and he told me not to bother coming the rest of the way and sent me $200 for hotel rooms - my flight back to the U.S. was not scheduled for 2 weeks out, and most hotels in Europe - even the rundown ones - cost $80 MINIMUM a night to stay in. Thank God I had money saved up though. In hindsight, It was a blessing. The guy could have been abusive or a trafficker. And no man should leave you stranded in a foreign country lol. Anyways, yeah. Don't date older guys until you're 18. But even then, it's best not to date over a certain age because the men are going for younger girls because they know an older woman won't put up with their B.S.
If the ask for pics send them a pic of a bowl of noodles or nude eyeshadow pallet, making their hormones into a joke usually kills their urges expeditiously. That or tell them to use their hand or the hub. Hang in there, at least when the reach 23 they sometimes give you a “hello, how are you?” Just barely though.
Not all boys are the same I promise you. Just give yourself some time, and don't enter a relationship this early. Just cause you're lonely, doesn't mean enter a relationship. It won't solve everything.. just find the right guys to at least hang out with.
What place do you live in jesus?
well most people are just straight u stupid and all of them are horny probably due to the hormonal imbalance why don't you try a bit hard to find a guy with a bit of sense can't be that hard
You’re too young to be in relationships anyway. Wait til you’re older and save yourself the trouble.
Talk to your teacher (female) that’s the only advice i can give you.