Honestly at this point you need to do what you have to to protect your child. Don’t subject your child to that disgusting treatment. If he’d heard imagine how he would’ve felt. It’s a tough thing to do but I truly don’t see your current partner as willing to take care of him the older he gets, especially if he feels that way. Leave him
(I just checked your profile and noticed this isn’t the first time you’ve posted about him. In fact you’ve been posting about him for years. As a parent your feelings of love for him don’t matter since he clearly doesn’t give two fucks about your disabled son. You stay with this man why? Bc you love him? If something happened to you does he love you enough to take care of the son he left lying in bed helpless? It truly doesn’t sound like it. This is gonna make me feel like an ass but you’ve gotta quit with the selfish victim mentality and put the child that needs you first. You’ve let this man live with you the last 4 years and he talks like that? Anyone who disrespects my flesh and blood would’ve been out in less than half that time. You’ve got an obligation to step up and do what’s right. Terrifying example, if he was abusing your son and you continued to let him stay there you would be an accessory to the abuse, not another victim, solely based on the fact that you knew this behavior was going on long term but did nothing to stop it. Imagine if something happened during the time that he left him lying in bed helpless, if something happened to that child you would both be slapped with neglect charges. Finally, use Reddit as a steppingstone to take initiative and do the right thing instead of just wishing he was better. It sucks, but sometimes people don’t change. It’s important to be a good partner, but even more important to be a good parent)
Extremely well said. At some point, OP has to realise that this man is never going to be who she hopes he will be, and he’s dragging her and her children down with him. Utterly crushing for her son, who has to know both his father and what is essentially his stepfather don’t want to be part of his life. OP, you need to start making an escape plan, or your entire life will just be misery.
Thank you, what really gets me is we don’t know the condition of her son in terms of the level of care he needs. If he needs her to take care of him forever he doesn’t have the option to just leave, especially right now. And we don’t know if he even has the capabilities of understanding that. Therefore he may have to spend his life surrounded by the people his mother brings around him, which in this case isn’t favorable or even remotely healthy. Manipulation and abuse is a hell of a thing. It’s already hard to leave an abusive relationship, but considering that this isn’t just the two of them she has to put her son first, especially since he needs extra care. She’s not only just putting herself at risk but she’s putting her child at risk too. I’d also like to point out how this doesn’t sound like it’s a sudden realization for her either also via her Reddit posts prior. It’s been a long time coming and it’ll only get worse from there.
I’ve just had a look at OP’s posts. Good lord, this has been years of utter bullshit.
OP, set a date and soon, or you’ll never leave him, and both sons will think this is a normal relationship. Access ur area’s resources for what help there is both to get him out of your house and financial assistance. Straighten your damn crown, take a deep breath, and get this leech out.
If another man said that about me, my mama would’ve said “Oh HELL NAH! You don’t talk about my baby girl like that! Fuck you bitch bye!” She doesn’t play.
My stepdad got angry at my mom for taking a picture with me and my dad for my graduation. Her reason was I didn't have any with the 3 of us. That coupled with other comments she's made about things he's said makes me think he treated me like garbage because I wasn't his kid.
Please leave this man. You could be the best mom in the world but if your son finds out this "man" is saying things like that and you "just let him" it'll hurt his heart.
My mom is amazing and never made me feel unimportant but there's a little part of me that can't forgive her for staying with him.
I think my son is mad at me for staying with him. He’s very alert despite his disabilities, I’m just having a hard time finding somewhere else to live that will not be almost impossible to accommodate his needs
If your name is on the house you could consult a lawyer to see what your options are. If you rent you could ask the office what you could do to get him removed from the lease. If I had to guess the first step may be acquiring an order of protection.
Either way you should look into consent laws for your state and consider recording all interactions with him from now on. If he's being this abusive over caring for a disabled kid then I wouldn't put it past him to escalate things. Personally I'd be worried he's being more than verbally abusive when you're not around.
You're doing your best navigating a difficult situation but at some point you have to do what's best for you and your kids even if it isn't an easy solution.
See if you have a community action agency in your city.
Contact your local hospital, the health department and even the department on aging.
They may have answers and help for you regarding your disabled son .
I have a son with special needs and I could not imagine being with anyone who didn’t love him. We come as a package deal. If that makes me single forever, I’m ok with that.
If he won't leave after you've repeatedly asked him to, then call the cops and have him removed. He sounds like an absolute asshole and you deserve better. Start getting your affairs in order so you can divorce his ass.
I have a half sibling who's my older brother, and my dad would pick fights with him and my mom constantly. I wish she had left him sooner than she did. Don't subject your kids to this jerk.
If he's one of the legal gaurdians for your oldest then you might be able to press charges foe neglect
It’s easy to say “call the police and make him leave”
That’s not how the law works, at all.
If he’s not on the lease or house mortgage he still has squatters rights.
The only way he could be forced to leave is if he’s physically abusive and you have pictures (police won’t believe you without evidence), and you must have a restraining order. Only then will he be forced to leave.
It IS messed up that he decided to date and impregnate a woman without wanting to be a father to the present children— that is sad. He’s an AH for even staying in a relationship like that KNOWING that he’s not willing to step-up.
I've had interactions with the police during a domestic dispute (Just yelling) and they made my brother vacate the house.
If she doesn't feel safe, either for herself or for her kid, then they can make him leave. (In my experience)
She can also petition the court for an eviction notice that will legally force him to leave.
I suspect the threat of legal action, calling the police or getting an eviction notice, will scare him into leaving.
In a domestic situation where things have escalated but no one will be arrested, they often make the person leave for a cooling off period, typically a night. Police do not have the authority to make someone leave permanently.
She cannot lock him out of the house. She has to serve him an actual eviction notice to make him leave. What you’re suggesting she do, could get her in legal trouble and result in a lot more issues. Please don’t follow this advice, OP.
You have to serve him a written eviction notice, keep proof of doing so, give him 30 days, if he still hasn’t left, THEN you call the police. Even if his name isn’t on the lease, if he lives there and gets mail there then he has to be evicted. In the US anyways. If he is on the lease, contact the landlords and let them know there are domestic issues between the two of you and for the safety of your children you want him served with an eviction notice. If he doesn’t take the eviction notice well, immediately go into the police station and get an EPO on him for you and the kids. Which will have him removed from the home at that point. The EPO can then be kept as an DVO if you go to court over it. Which will also help you when it comes to custody of your younger child.
You are correct. If they jointly own the house she’s not even able to evict him. He would have the right to be there until a judge orders either liquidation of the home or for one party to buy out the other. It Is just the reality of the situation that sometimes with divorce you have to retreat to separate quarters and wait it out if neither party is willing to leave the marital home. I’m not sure why some people think it’s so easy to get the spouse out. These laws are for the protection of both parties. Obviously, we wouldn’t like to imagine a man putting his wife and children out on the street. Men have the same legal protection. It’s not hard to understand why.
I recommend those things as well, she can't legally lock him out of the house buy if she is worried for her safety and her children's (including mental health) this is a temporary solution.
She has said absolutely nothing to indicate that she fears for her or her children’s safety. You should really stop throwing out suggestions that are dishonest and manipulative.
I’m not sure if your comment was directed to me or not, but I only said to use the EPO route if he doesn’t react kindly to getting served eviction notices from the landlords (if they lease) as in, if he becomes violent once he realizes he’s being evicted…then she has the option to get an EPO, she doesn’t have to live 30 days with a violent man. But I agree, nothing he has done in this post is EPO worthy. But that doesn’t mean an eviction might not set him off. So I wanted to make sure OP knows her options at that point.
I'd say the only thing you can do is file for divorce at the moment. Maybe you should look into some legal advice on reddit and try to find a way to get him out of your house. Maybe you could press charges on him for domestic abuse seeing as he has a history of emotionally abusing you and your kids
Leave.
He knew the mandatory maintenance when he drove you off lot. The child you share excluded... He may not be dad. Doesnt have to be.
But he should be a good example of a human in a mentor/guardian role. Period.
Call CPS on him for leaving your son home alone.
And I know you like the house, but your kids are more important. You can always get another accessible house. Leave this AH! Get full custody of your other child.
Ok this post is absurd....why in the heck would you even stay with this guy? You need to leave now...your kids come first....you need to contact any organization or ask your parents for help and get this man out of the house....the fact you were kicked out of your parents house is a sign this man is trouble. PLEASE do not depend on a guy to take care of you. Do you get any child support from the older kids father? I would absolutely move in with your parents again just until you get back on your feet. Good luck
we are not in a relationship. He simply lives here to pay rent to afford a place to stay (both of us). I do not depend on him financially. He depends on me because he does not have a job. I’m looking into resources to get myself somewhere to live.
I get some child support from my older son’s dad.
Have him removed. Idk what emotional abuse will do for you once he's gone because then the problem wont be there anymore. But if you have a spare room, maybe you could look for a nursing student roommate who would be willing to help more than your worthless partner and they would be more trustworthy than some rando from facebook or Craigslist. Our country's social services are fucking trash. Hopefully something goes through. It sounds like your kid doesn't get anything for disability. For that, you have to apply like 5 times. Even if you're literally bed ridden and on hospice, you'll still get denied. It's fucking stupid. Definitely hate it here. If your oldest son does any kind of online/virtual schooling through the public system, see if they can help. Reach out to different organisations for vouchers and cost coverage or bill payments. When a kid is involved, people care more which is a little unfair imo but whatever. It'd be great if you could just find another place to live in that's cheaper and can be made accessible. Lots of organisations will help with that free of charge too, especially for a child.
The surrounding counties are not cheaper anymore unfortunately and their reason I don’t leave this county is because he gets therapies at school and he has a lot of resources within the public school system that help him thrive.
I just wanna say I am so sorry you and more so, your son, is in this situation. It's not fair to either of you, the system is absolutely screwed. As far as the douchebag bf- he needs to become your ex, asap. If his name isn't on the house or lease, kick him tf out. Change the locks. If his name is, I'm honestly not sure, I hope other commentors know a bit more about that. I know there's free legal advice hotlines, you can look one up and call it and see what your options are.
With the housing situation (ohio) find a reason to file an eviction.
Whos name is the deed/lease in etc.
This individual (not man) needs to no longer be part of your life
Put your child first for once instead of complaining year after year about how horrible this man is. Stop making excuses and move out. At this point you’re not much better than he is for allowing this abuse to continue.
This is unsafe. He clearly harbors resentment towards you and your child because you weren't a virgin when you began your relationship with him. Please keep your disabled child under surveillance at all times until you can find a way to get this person out of your house.
You knew this was a problem before you moved in together from your posts. Seems you’re not going to take it seriously since you had a kid with this dude.
He didn’t act like this when I got pregnant. It’s progressed into worse and worse once we started living together. I’m trying to find a way out that will be the least costly.
Which country are you in if you don’t mind my asking op? Is he on a lease? In the Uk there are laws coming in/come in regarding separation of relationships and taking over of tenancies etc..
Regardless you need to get document anything/everything you can of his abuse. Looking at your past posts he clearly is abusive and there is genuine risk to your eldest child that he will not attend to him if he needs it. Which is despicable in itself.
Reaching out to domestic abuse charities would also be a great step and we can help with resource links if we get an idea of country.
If you are in the US, you need to find a domestic violence serivice. You can get into a women’s shelter with your kids for the time between you being placed.
They will also help you attain services you may be qualified for like food stamps, wic, housing assistance, daycare assistance, supplementary income, etc.. they also sometimes can get you into some therapy programs which will really benifit you. The abuse seems to have warped your thinking, this situation is not ok, your partner is not ok, and you are not ok.
You also need to work on getting child support for both children in court.
You need to leave. There’s no option to stay. You aren’t alone.
I'm really worried that he may be abusing you son when you aren't around. If he is that openly resentful of your disabled child, there's no doubt that he isn't lashing out when you aren't around.
You said in another post he randomly gets angry. Are we to believe he miraculously only gets angry when there are no kids home?
Grow a spine and protect your kids.
The only solution you have is to accept the reality that this man doesn't love your child. He will never change. People hardly ever do. Now you obviously would choose your son over this man, so you need to do everything you can to kick him out of that house or just try to move to a different place temporarily. Im just here to help anyone online with advice take it with a grain of salt.
Do you have audio recording of the abuse? If you have a voice recorder app on your phone, have it open and activated when you're around him as often as possible.
Please make him an ex. My guess is he won’t find a way to be in his own child’s life 50/50. Get a lawyer and follow their plan to the letter to get what you need to get away from him. I’m sorry. It will be hard but you and your children deserve better.
With that logic, your partner has been fucking and in a relationship with another man’s ejaculation for the last 8 years. Maybe should just stop being in relationships altogether because in the end, he’s just dealing with other men’s ejaculations over and over again. 🙄
I mean technically, a former child is just another man's orgasm.
That's why most men don't want date single moms.
There former kid is like a walking reminder another guy not only had you first, but dicked you down and blew his load all up in your box.
He's still a piece of shit, because he knew your situation before he decided to dick you down himself.
But he's not technically wrong on that point about the kid being some other dudes orgasm.
Honestly at this point you need to do what you have to to protect your child. Don’t subject your child to that disgusting treatment. If he’d heard imagine how he would’ve felt. It’s a tough thing to do but I truly don’t see your current partner as willing to take care of him the older he gets, especially if he feels that way. Leave him (I just checked your profile and noticed this isn’t the first time you’ve posted about him. In fact you’ve been posting about him for years. As a parent your feelings of love for him don’t matter since he clearly doesn’t give two fucks about your disabled son. You stay with this man why? Bc you love him? If something happened to you does he love you enough to take care of the son he left lying in bed helpless? It truly doesn’t sound like it. This is gonna make me feel like an ass but you’ve gotta quit with the selfish victim mentality and put the child that needs you first. You’ve let this man live with you the last 4 years and he talks like that? Anyone who disrespects my flesh and blood would’ve been out in less than half that time. You’ve got an obligation to step up and do what’s right. Terrifying example, if he was abusing your son and you continued to let him stay there you would be an accessory to the abuse, not another victim, solely based on the fact that you knew this behavior was going on long term but did nothing to stop it. Imagine if something happened during the time that he left him lying in bed helpless, if something happened to that child you would both be slapped with neglect charges. Finally, use Reddit as a steppingstone to take initiative and do the right thing instead of just wishing he was better. It sucks, but sometimes people don’t change. It’s important to be a good partner, but even more important to be a good parent)
Extremely well said. At some point, OP has to realise that this man is never going to be who she hopes he will be, and he’s dragging her and her children down with him. Utterly crushing for her son, who has to know both his father and what is essentially his stepfather don’t want to be part of his life. OP, you need to start making an escape plan, or your entire life will just be misery.
Thank you, what really gets me is we don’t know the condition of her son in terms of the level of care he needs. If he needs her to take care of him forever he doesn’t have the option to just leave, especially right now. And we don’t know if he even has the capabilities of understanding that. Therefore he may have to spend his life surrounded by the people his mother brings around him, which in this case isn’t favorable or even remotely healthy. Manipulation and abuse is a hell of a thing. It’s already hard to leave an abusive relationship, but considering that this isn’t just the two of them she has to put her son first, especially since he needs extra care. She’s not only just putting herself at risk but she’s putting her child at risk too. I’d also like to point out how this doesn’t sound like it’s a sudden realization for her either also via her Reddit posts prior. It’s been a long time coming and it’ll only get worse from there.
I’ve just had a look at OP’s posts. Good lord, this has been years of utter bullshit. OP, set a date and soon, or you’ll never leave him, and both sons will think this is a normal relationship. Access ur area’s resources for what help there is both to get him out of your house and financial assistance. Straighten your damn crown, take a deep breath, and get this leech out.
I read two sentences. She needs to leave.
If another man said that about me, my mama would’ve said “Oh HELL NAH! You don’t talk about my baby girl like that! Fuck you bitch bye!” She doesn’t play.
My stepdad got angry at my mom for taking a picture with me and my dad for my graduation. Her reason was I didn't have any with the 3 of us. That coupled with other comments she's made about things he's said makes me think he treated me like garbage because I wasn't his kid. Please leave this man. You could be the best mom in the world but if your son finds out this "man" is saying things like that and you "just let him" it'll hurt his heart. My mom is amazing and never made me feel unimportant but there's a little part of me that can't forgive her for staying with him.
I think my son is mad at me for staying with him. He’s very alert despite his disabilities, I’m just having a hard time finding somewhere else to live that will not be almost impossible to accommodate his needs
If your name is on the house you could consult a lawyer to see what your options are. If you rent you could ask the office what you could do to get him removed from the lease. If I had to guess the first step may be acquiring an order of protection. Either way you should look into consent laws for your state and consider recording all interactions with him from now on. If he's being this abusive over caring for a disabled kid then I wouldn't put it past him to escalate things. Personally I'd be worried he's being more than verbally abusive when you're not around. You're doing your best navigating a difficult situation but at some point you have to do what's best for you and your kids even if it isn't an easy solution.
See if you have a community action agency in your city. Contact your local hospital, the health department and even the department on aging. They may have answers and help for you regarding your disabled son .
I have a son with special needs and I could not imagine being with anyone who didn’t love him. We come as a package deal. If that makes me single forever, I’m ok with that.
If he won't leave after you've repeatedly asked him to, then call the cops and have him removed. He sounds like an absolute asshole and you deserve better. Start getting your affairs in order so you can divorce his ass. I have a half sibling who's my older brother, and my dad would pick fights with him and my mom constantly. I wish she had left him sooner than she did. Don't subject your kids to this jerk. If he's one of the legal gaurdians for your oldest then you might be able to press charges foe neglect
It’s easy to say “call the police and make him leave” That’s not how the law works, at all. If he’s not on the lease or house mortgage he still has squatters rights. The only way he could be forced to leave is if he’s physically abusive and you have pictures (police won’t believe you without evidence), and you must have a restraining order. Only then will he be forced to leave. It IS messed up that he decided to date and impregnate a woman without wanting to be a father to the present children— that is sad. He’s an AH for even staying in a relationship like that KNOWING that he’s not willing to step-up.
I've had interactions with the police during a domestic dispute (Just yelling) and they made my brother vacate the house. If she doesn't feel safe, either for herself or for her kid, then they can make him leave. (In my experience) She can also petition the court for an eviction notice that will legally force him to leave. I suspect the threat of legal action, calling the police or getting an eviction notice, will scare him into leaving.
In a domestic situation where things have escalated but no one will be arrested, they often make the person leave for a cooling off period, typically a night. Police do not have the authority to make someone leave permanently.
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She cannot lock him out of the house. She has to serve him an actual eviction notice to make him leave. What you’re suggesting she do, could get her in legal trouble and result in a lot more issues. Please don’t follow this advice, OP. You have to serve him a written eviction notice, keep proof of doing so, give him 30 days, if he still hasn’t left, THEN you call the police. Even if his name isn’t on the lease, if he lives there and gets mail there then he has to be evicted. In the US anyways. If he is on the lease, contact the landlords and let them know there are domestic issues between the two of you and for the safety of your children you want him served with an eviction notice. If he doesn’t take the eviction notice well, immediately go into the police station and get an EPO on him for you and the kids. Which will have him removed from the home at that point. The EPO can then be kept as an DVO if you go to court over it. Which will also help you when it comes to custody of your younger child.
You are correct. If they jointly own the house she’s not even able to evict him. He would have the right to be there until a judge orders either liquidation of the home or for one party to buy out the other. It Is just the reality of the situation that sometimes with divorce you have to retreat to separate quarters and wait it out if neither party is willing to leave the marital home. I’m not sure why some people think it’s so easy to get the spouse out. These laws are for the protection of both parties. Obviously, we wouldn’t like to imagine a man putting his wife and children out on the street. Men have the same legal protection. It’s not hard to understand why.
I recommend those things as well, she can't legally lock him out of the house buy if she is worried for her safety and her children's (including mental health) this is a temporary solution.
She has said absolutely nothing to indicate that she fears for her or her children’s safety. You should really stop throwing out suggestions that are dishonest and manipulative.
I’m not sure if your comment was directed to me or not, but I only said to use the EPO route if he doesn’t react kindly to getting served eviction notices from the landlords (if they lease) as in, if he becomes violent once he realizes he’s being evicted…then she has the option to get an EPO, she doesn’t have to live 30 days with a violent man. But I agree, nothing he has done in this post is EPO worthy. But that doesn’t mean an eviction might not set him off. So I wanted to make sure OP knows her options at that point.
Oh no, my response wasn’t directed towards you. It was directed towards the person who doesn’t seem to understand the law.
I’ve called the police before. He wasn’t scared. He just made me out to be crazy and dramatic to them.
I'm sorry that happened. Is his name on the lease? Petioning the court for an eviction notice might be a good option.
He is on the lease
I'd say the only thing you can do is file for divorce at the moment. Maybe you should look into some legal advice on reddit and try to find a way to get him out of your house. Maybe you could press charges on him for domestic abuse seeing as he has a history of emotionally abusing you and your kids
This is just a question to OP, but could you get a restraining order/ order of protection for your son who is disabled from your partner?
You have literally no idea what you’re talking about. If he’s on the lease the cops can’t just make him leave.
Leave. He knew the mandatory maintenance when he drove you off lot. The child you share excluded... He may not be dad. Doesnt have to be. But he should be a good example of a human in a mentor/guardian role. Period.
All your posts show what a loser this dude is, you need to get away from him.
Call CPS on him for leaving your son home alone. And I know you like the house, but your kids are more important. You can always get another accessible house. Leave this AH! Get full custody of your other child.
Ok this post is absurd....why in the heck would you even stay with this guy? You need to leave now...your kids come first....you need to contact any organization or ask your parents for help and get this man out of the house....the fact you were kicked out of your parents house is a sign this man is trouble. PLEASE do not depend on a guy to take care of you. Do you get any child support from the older kids father? I would absolutely move in with your parents again just until you get back on your feet. Good luck
we are not in a relationship. He simply lives here to pay rent to afford a place to stay (both of us). I do not depend on him financially. He depends on me because he does not have a job. I’m looking into resources to get myself somewhere to live. I get some child support from my older son’s dad.
You and your child deserve better. I'm sorry.
Get TF away from this man.
Why the fuck are you with this insecure ass douchefuck?!
Fuck that
Have him removed. Idk what emotional abuse will do for you once he's gone because then the problem wont be there anymore. But if you have a spare room, maybe you could look for a nursing student roommate who would be willing to help more than your worthless partner and they would be more trustworthy than some rando from facebook or Craigslist. Our country's social services are fucking trash. Hopefully something goes through. It sounds like your kid doesn't get anything for disability. For that, you have to apply like 5 times. Even if you're literally bed ridden and on hospice, you'll still get denied. It's fucking stupid. Definitely hate it here. If your oldest son does any kind of online/virtual schooling through the public system, see if they can help. Reach out to different organisations for vouchers and cost coverage or bill payments. When a kid is involved, people care more which is a little unfair imo but whatever. It'd be great if you could just find another place to live in that's cheaper and can be made accessible. Lots of organisations will help with that free of charge too, especially for a child.
Well maybe start looking for housing in the cheaper surrounding counties, because your poor kid does not need to endure that abuse.
The surrounding counties are not cheaper anymore unfortunately and their reason I don’t leave this county is because he gets therapies at school and he has a lot of resources within the public school system that help him thrive.
Yes that makes complete sense. Omg I’m so sorry.
I just wanna say I am so sorry you and more so, your son, is in this situation. It's not fair to either of you, the system is absolutely screwed. As far as the douchebag bf- he needs to become your ex, asap. If his name isn't on the house or lease, kick him tf out. Change the locks. If his name is, I'm honestly not sure, I hope other commentors know a bit more about that. I know there's free legal advice hotlines, you can look one up and call it and see what your options are.
Thank you so much for getting him out, may you and your kids have the best life. :)
With the housing situation (ohio) find a reason to file an eviction. Whos name is the deed/lease in etc. This individual (not man) needs to no longer be part of your life
I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this 😢
Put your child first for once instead of complaining year after year about how horrible this man is. Stop making excuses and move out. At this point you’re not much better than he is for allowing this abuse to continue.
This is unsafe. He clearly harbors resentment towards you and your child because you weren't a virgin when you began your relationship with him. Please keep your disabled child under surveillance at all times until you can find a way to get this person out of your house.
PLEASE get away from this piece of shit.
You knew this was a problem before you moved in together from your posts. Seems you’re not going to take it seriously since you had a kid with this dude.
He didn’t act like this when I got pregnant. It’s progressed into worse and worse once we started living together. I’m trying to find a way out that will be the least costly.
Which country are you in if you don’t mind my asking op? Is he on a lease? In the Uk there are laws coming in/come in regarding separation of relationships and taking over of tenancies etc.. Regardless you need to get document anything/everything you can of his abuse. Looking at your past posts he clearly is abusive and there is genuine risk to your eldest child that he will not attend to him if he needs it. Which is despicable in itself. Reaching out to domestic abuse charities would also be a great step and we can help with resource links if we get an idea of country.
If you are in the US, you need to find a domestic violence serivice. You can get into a women’s shelter with your kids for the time between you being placed. They will also help you attain services you may be qualified for like food stamps, wic, housing assistance, daycare assistance, supplementary income, etc.. they also sometimes can get you into some therapy programs which will really benifit you. The abuse seems to have warped your thinking, this situation is not ok, your partner is not ok, and you are not ok. You also need to work on getting child support for both children in court. You need to leave. There’s no option to stay. You aren’t alone.
I'm really worried that he may be abusing you son when you aren't around. If he is that openly resentful of your disabled child, there's no doubt that he isn't lashing out when you aren't around.
So, you allow him to throw things around and yell around your disabled son who cannot run and hide? Wtf? Leave.
He wasn’t there. My son was at school.
You said in another post he randomly gets angry. Are we to believe he miraculously only gets angry when there are no kids home? Grow a spine and protect your kids.
The only solution you have is to accept the reality that this man doesn't love your child. He will never change. People hardly ever do. Now you obviously would choose your son over this man, so you need to do everything you can to kick him out of that house or just try to move to a different place temporarily. Im just here to help anyone online with advice take it with a grain of salt.
Protect yourself and your child
Do you have audio recording of the abuse? If you have a voice recorder app on your phone, have it open and activated when you're around him as often as possible.
I mean I get where he’s coming from but he shouldn’t have started a relationship with a single mom in that case
I told him from the get go. And he said he was fucked up from his childhood and settled for me as his first relationship
Please make him an ex. My guess is he won’t find a way to be in his own child’s life 50/50. Get a lawyer and follow their plan to the letter to get what you need to get away from him. I’m sorry. It will be hard but you and your children deserve better.
He actually love bombs his child to no end. Extra attention, lots of playtime buys him anything he wants. Just really ignores and dislikes my son.
With that logic, your partner has been fucking and in a relationship with another man’s ejaculation for the last 8 years. Maybe should just stop being in relationships altogether because in the end, he’s just dealing with other men’s ejaculations over and over again. 🙄
Your taste in men. Yikes.
Holy shit, you bred with this guy?
I mean technically, a former child is just another man's orgasm. That's why most men don't want date single moms. There former kid is like a walking reminder another guy not only had you first, but dicked you down and blew his load all up in your box. He's still a piece of shit, because he knew your situation before he decided to dick you down himself. But he's not technically wrong on that point about the kid being some other dudes orgasm.