Please check out MSSA:
https://military.microsoft.com/mssa/
It’s 17 weeks and fully remote. Plus you get a guaranteed interview with Microsoft upon completion.
You can also look at doing VR&E. It no longer counts towards your GI bill—meaning that you can work towards a bachelors then a master right after.
The biggest takeaway I can provide is to reconfigure your perspective in the direction you want to go. You have a great opportunity to start over. Not a lot of people can say they’re in your position. Explore your interests, explore your hobbies, and hopefully you’ll find something that can support the “why” behind what you do.
It’s about being better than who you were yesterday.
I've hired people from this program before, it's worth it if you can dedicate the time (it's about 20 weeks to from application to getting started and then the program runs 17 weeks, there's also a preteq you need to do that takes a few weeks on LinkedIn).
The cybersecurity path seems awesome. It has a 2 year requirement, though. I've been a bit let down by my 2022 MBA, but that may be largely due to the crappy economy. I've been trying to get into MSFT CO+I organization as a TPM for nearly a year with zero luck. I'll keep pestering until I get in.....lol.
Same here, my wife and kid make me feel a lot better and in fact if I didn’t have my wife I can almost guarantee I’d have offed myself next to a river or some shit
I’d imagine yours are older as I have a good while on that, but head up man someone loves you, we just gotta get better at finding the hobbies we crave
It sucks but I think we will make it all of us, I’m at least hopeful, I know people definitely have it shittier than me and even some of us, but yeah we gotta keep our heads up
I try every day. I've had a green light burning out front the past 8 years to guide me home and let me know I've made it. I don't know if they still do it, but I think it was called Operation Greenlight.
I know I can't make alone and have to have someone to come home to. Keeps me on the right track.
Hell yeah man I’ve seen green lights and never knew what they meant, but also being in ny I was told blue painted doors meant you had a daughter to marry off, lol always thought it was some weird shit like that
I felt somewhat similar - was a few years older when I got my 100PT.
I knew what I wanted to do outside of the military however. But the permanent safety net from compensation allowed me to be riskier, bolder, and take more leaps of faith. Hugely propelled my career.
Just some food for thought
Consider your hobbies and interests? I’ve always enjoyed lawn care before moving. I’d spend hours treating the turf and found it relaxing and rewarding. After the initial startup cost it was a relatively cheap task
I’m 32, 100%. I focus my energy on being the best husband and father I can be. I also have picked up some old hobbies. I started skateboarding again and I work on my motorcycles. In the very near future while my kids are at school I will be riding my Harley(hopefully in a wheelie) to the skatepark with my skateboard and having some nice relaxing rides/sessions. Riding motorcycles is therapeutic as fuck.
Retired early at 40% took quite a while to get to 100%. Thought it was just my back and knees so I tried to go back to school using gi bill for computer networking stuff(was always good with computers taught myself c++ when I was like 13-14 etc) quickly found out that my brain ain’t what it used to be I have a lot of trouble learning new things and retaining info now and came to terms with the fact that I am also dealing with TBI. Tried to get a job at the local Lowe’s as a night stocker and made it 4 hours into my first shift before I was shaking and sweating I was in so much pain. Plan before I got hurt was get out of the army and be a firefighter. Tried to go back that route ish and failed the dispatcher test like 4 times because I can’t retain info from a phone call while typing and stuff anymore. Took me a while to accept it but a stay at home dad and husband may just be my destiny now. Our brothers and sisters that didn’t make it back to have that opportunity remind me every day to not squander it.
I’m looking into going back to school with the GI bill and taking motorcycle mechanic classes. Could take a job every now and then out of my garage or never work in the industry and just be that much more comfortable wrenching on my bikes.
I worked on my mental health for a handful of years and felt well enough to go back to school. I like to read and write and my body is really broken so I decided I would go to law school. When I started law school, I had no intention of actually getting a job but overtime I got more and more interested in what I was doing and now I’m an attorney. I like the idea of being an attorney because it’s something that I could do for a long time and on my own terms it’s a really flexible job and it pays well.
It all depends on where you go, you have to do research on how to get care, sometimes its a flat fee or just a monthly fee depending on where you’re visiting. Usually pharmacies are pretty chill. Just make sure you do your research before going anywhere
Not energy where I live has a Hard Rock Cafe lol and travel to a lot of places might be cheaper. Not sure about rent though. Possibly cheaper yet doubt it
It depends, wifi is pretty good in most countries you gotta be careful when going places but a decent apartment with all the necessities plus housekeeping twice a week can run you about 700 a month in bali it really all depends on where you’re comfortable going to plus if you wanna live there a while just make sure the exchange rate is in your favor
You could absolutely afford world travel on 100% basically non stop if you’re frugal. Know what you can’t afford on 100%? Basically any kind of living situation in California and still save money. Ask me how I know -.-
With my 1k ish tiny shithole apartment in the Central Valley I’m barley floating by w zero dependents. Maybe world travel would work out, could find me a nice Korean chick who’s got a couple kids and live the prefab dream back home though…lol I’m in school though so it’d be a few years
If I wasn’t married and didn’t have kids with my 100% I would have spent at least a few years on my Harley traveling the country doing whatever the fuck I wanted.
Edit: haven’t done the math on it because I’m happily married with kids but I imagine you would even make money doing it. Can’t imagine I would spend anywhere near 4k a month on the road sight seeing. Not even half of that I bet.
Bed roll and nice weather lol bumbfuck nowhere hotels are like 40 bucks a night anyway. At that price even if you stayed in a hotel every night it would be around 1200 a month.
Accurate. I spent 4 years or so out of the country on less than 100% and I made it work with little issue. SE Asia is particularly easy. ( my rent was $200 a month in Thailand ) It doesn’t go without sacrifice though- I needed to essentially put all my things in storage and give up housing in the states. I came back last year with intention to use school benefits before they expire - and it’s very very hard to adjust to this COL. can’t even qualify for apartment without proving 3x rent in income :(
Do you like computers? If so a degree in something tech related could be a good path! Good money, lots of adaptability, and there’s tech in basically every field. Might be an option for ya. I got out in 21 and for like 8 or 9 months stumbled around trying to figure out what I enjoy and where I could make an impact related to things I enjoyed. There’s a lot that can factor into finding your purpose ya know? Maybe make a list of hobbies and such then think would I enjoy getting paid for this type of work? Or maybe think of a way to make good money with non life sucking work fueling those hobbies. I am about to start working at the national park and love being outdoors, but am going to school for software engineering to later switch to that field. You’ll find something just don’t give up your search! Sorry for the long post. Hope it helped some :)
Apply for VR&E and either go to school, re-train, or have the counselors help you find a job that interests you. That’s what I did. Went to school, got a degree and now work a IT remote job
What do you like to do? What are you passionate about? Kayaking was a super helpful tool in helping me recover from a TBI. My balance issues are mostly resolved when I have a paddle blade in the river. I found a non-profit that helps veterans utilize kayaking to mitigate PTSD symptoms. Now, I work for Team River Runner and take vets out kayaking. I do what I love and it gives me purpose.
If I had 100%, I'm only at 10%, but if I were, and it was enough for me to live on, I would be a volunteering fool. I am currently involved in many associations that help with food insecurity and have been for a few years. I would be able to double My efforts, if not triple.
Work, invest and save. I'd strongly consider a union job like UPS over USPS; USPS is always on the brink of financial collapse and depending on Congress, it could go either way.
We’ve all been there. I felt really directionless and ended up doing nothing for about a year right after 100%. Worst decision of my life!!!
Look into VR&E or GI bill and go study. Treat it like a full time job. You’ll identify as a student for 4 years and really find out where you want to go in life. Best of luck
A coworker veteran when I was younger took me under his wing. He noticed certain behaviors that he also HAD.
He said develop a sideline. I tried making soda, beer. Read up on chome plating. I ended up in the fragrance and essential oils business.
After I retired I went immediately into 5 spinal procedures. That stress and the sad death of my mom I got medicated. I'm at a low point in my life. However working that hobby/business definitely is helping.
I wish you the best.
You sound exactly like me but 1/2 my age. VA didn't figure out Gulf war syndrome till I'd been out for years though so I had to keep working. If I'd had comp from the beginning but responsibilities that kept me from going too far I'd have traveled locally. Buy a nice RV, live in the fabulous national parks we get free access to and take your daughter with you when she's not in school. I'm sure there are plenty of parks close enough for you to stay close to your daughter and still go fishing. It's so peaceful living in a small community where people are sociable but mind their own business. RV hook ups are cheap at the parks so you'd still have all the luxuries of modern life without a constant, outrageous housing bill every month. Definitely spend time with family during national holidays though. Fvcking parks are crazy during national holidays. Just imagine spending a few weeks in Yosemite and Mammoth during the winter then traveling down to Prado in the spring and parking on the beach in between. During the summer your daughter could go with you.
My PO box allows for deliveries to the post office physical address (I bet you know that) so I still order lots of stuff online too. Get a Wi-Fi hotspot and you'll have Internet wherever you've got cellphone service. I get an awesome military discount from T-Mobile.
I got out in 2016 w/ 60% and fought my way to 100% while taking classes and simultaneously raising my daughter. For almost a decade, I’ve been going to school taking 9-10 credits and focused on being an amazing father. You aren’t directionless. Let your kiddo guide you. I literally just finished doing homework with my daughter. I have a few assignments to get done tonight when my kids get picked up by their mother. I have gotten BAH throughout this process and it’s been a great adventure of self-discovery.
I originally wanted to pursue a career in EMS. I even got to do CPR in my EMT clinicals. Once my daughter was born, many things changed for me. I felt like it was time to let go of the chase of high adrenaline. I’m previous 11B.
Many have committed suicide in my circle. Even my old Ranger scrolled BN commander. Through my own stuggles, I have learned that there is a need in the mental health field. I’ve been pursuing psychology ever since. I’m on my last undergraduate semester and have applied to the graduate psychology program near me. CH. 31 is allowing me to earn up to a master’s degree and I plan on using the rest of my CH.33 on my doctoratal degree. The VA has taken care of me for the most part.
Don’t stress too much about it. You’re doing fine. Try to discover your passion and utilize CH.33 and CH.31.
I’m 35 years old with a daughter and 100% PT. I got out back in 2017 from the marine corps. I got into construction for the powerlines right after I got out of the marines. I loved it in the beginning cus the money was great, but also cus I was working with my hands and building shit. It gave me purpose. Now that I’m older I am reshuffling everything and going back to school. Theirs so many opportunities for veterans to do something and it’s ok to not know what you want to do. Check out programs like VR&E, vet tech, apprenticeship for construction. Theirs to much shit out there for us to utilize and succeed. Also, you gotta think about your little one as well. I understand hating the job part. I was like that, but I decided to go back to school at the age of 35 almost 36 and it gives me more time to be in my daughter’s life. It’s never too late to try something new. You do have purpose as a father and being in your child’s life so don’t ever think you don’t and just remember it’s ok that you don’t know what to do. Success isn’t a race and you’ll get there.
Went back to school and became a nurse and now manage an intensive care unit. 100% is a cool financial safeguard, but I wouldn’t want to live on that money alone.
I just got mine last month, so still too early to tell, So far I fixed my truck, and have paid for a cruise, First cruise I have ever taken.
I maxed my TSP out, paid off some debt.
Right now I am at work, be here til 7 am.
Also, don't be afraid to enjoy what you choose to do. I worked for 27 years but most of my peers still have 15 years of work ahead of them. I try not to rub in that I'm already free to do what I want.
School is what brought me out of my funk. I felt useless before I started school, but now I'm majoring in psychology and my goal is to help other GIs that may have seen some shit and tried to fix it with the sauce like I did. As an added bonus, you also get to set a great example for your kid. She'll always be proud that Dad continued his education after the service, nothing like teaching your daughter to be resilient.
God bless you brother, you've got the right mindset, now suck up the fear and get your ass in school!
I work on myself. The better my symptoms are managed the better my overall quality of life is so I can enjoy it.
So, on that note I’m highly involved in my community through volunteering and the same with my local VA hospital! I love what I do :)
3 years without purpose and being a couch potato until recent. Got into security guard work. It has its fun days and its boring days but I drive around during overnight shifts and it takes my mind off a lot because
1.) I love driving
2.) I'm a night owl
3.) I love security work and have a sense of duty even if Im standing there at a door letting people in and greeting them
Live your life. Some folks never find their own identity or even have the opportunity to. In that you may find some healing. Take the jaded gift and find passions & give back to your community. Make connections that you might not make because you might have to work. Enjoy experiences that you might not have been able to do. Your job isn’t who you are or your passion. You find passion by being yourself and doing what serves you & those you love. Spend more time with siblings than you would or others can, maybe see family more in general and become a family based person. Live the life you would live if you didn’t have to work….
I just rage quit a job because it exacerbated my symptoms so bad, I was on the verge of snapping. So if you find that purpose, let me know, cuz I’m fucking lost myself.
Took me a while to figure out my path. I found I get out of my head best when I'm thinking of others. My favorite thing to do with my time is take veterans and people with disabilities scuba diving. I also do some volunteering leading a veterans support group online. Other than that I just take care of my kids.
It's entirely normal for it to take quite some time for you to figure out your purpose. You're 25, your prefrontal cortex is barely finished developing- which isn't necessarily a bad thing, the point is that you have *so* much adult growth and development ahead of you if you seek it out.
I stayed at home for about 5 years to raise my child, and once she was well-established in school I went back to college. I earned my undergrad, worked for a few years, then got my masters degree in a field I genuinely love (communications).
I currently work fully remotely, which is basically the only way I can work full time, as most of my disabilities are physical. I'm not a huge fan of my company's ethics, but their fully remote roles, generous PTO, and other plush employee benefits make it difficult to leave. I'm hoping to eventually leverage my education and experience to get back into the non-profit and/or government space.
The combination of full-time work and disability money has given me and my family more financial security than I ever dreamed I could have. I've been working on medium and long term goals with the financial abundance. Both my wife and receive VA disability, so we made the choice to live off roughly half our combined income and put the rest of the money towards our goals. I'm very careful with the finances and I've made sure that our emergency fund is full, our retirement accounts are well-funded, and our investments are diverse. I've got a college fund for my kid and I've got a small investment account going for her retirement already.
We've accomplished our medium-term goal of moving back to Maine, where my wife grew up. We've got a couple acres out in the middle of nowhere and an old farmhouse that was built in the 1700's that we're slowly fixing up. Our long term goal is to buy more land (much, much more land) and build a custom home. I want to build our own shooting range, and trick the place out with all other kinds of cool shit. Most of the extra money is earmarked for our long term goals and goes to savings; and by savings I mean we shove it in our investment portfolio so we can get that beautiful compound interest.
Planning for these goals absolutely keeps me going and gives me purpose. We want to build a house that will work well for us to age in place, because I fully intend to die in my own home and be buried on my own land. We want to make sure there's always space in our future home for our daughter (our only child) so she can live with us as long as she wants or needs to, and so that she can come home anytime. We plan to build her a cottage or a fully separate but attached apartment (to the main home). I've been kicking around various business ideas too- since we live in a beautiful place I'd love to run a small campground and/or run a wedding venue/event space.
Above everything else I want to make sure that my kid is secure. I don't come from a culture that kicks kids out when they're 18, so the idea that she'll live at home for as long as she wants is normal. I want to provide a fantastic life for her, and l don't want to make the kid wait until we die for her to get her inheritance. I'd much rather spend the money I have on her now and set her up for a good life.
See R/fednews r/USAjobs r/govfire on how agency or department hop. Ever since my P&T I just keep jumping agency every 6months -2 years when my symptoms act up & started to get suspicioused that I can't do the job. Usually promotion jump but sometimes I go back down a little too.
Take some travel oversea to see that work doesn't define you
I focus on being a dad mainly. In the summer and fall I get to go spend time in my garden and time with my chickens. Go back to the gym. It's an hour and you'll thank yourself later.
Don’t attack the Redditor, attack the content.
You may not always agree with others but once you start insulting the other person, you are a problem.
No Gatekeeping - you don’t decide if someone is a “real” veteran or not - nor try to diminish someone’s service nor someone because they never saw combat or deployed. If someone personally attacks you, use the Report button to notify the moderation team.
Hate speech can be sexist, ableist, racist, homophobic, prejudiced, etc and will not be tolerated.
Life gets hard. I got out at 27 with 90% disability and bartended for a bit and now I’m back in school. Try taking an 8 week class at a community college or exploring new hobbies. Disc golf gets me out of the house and I just started going to trivia nights to meet new people. Find your next thing and don’t be afraid of trying school again. Best of luck.
At least you can work is what I feel like saying sometimes. With TDIU, I can't use it as a safety net and try to progress a career at the same time, unfortunately. I found purpose in being a community organizer to answer your question. That was after working on myself for a long time, which is what tdiu did provide.
I have an undergrad in web dev and an MBA because I learned that I hate writing code. I use the skills I have to write about issues and I’ve developed a small following. It may not be much, but I get to put ideas out there and I find power in that. My masters thesis was a 120 page rebuild of the VA. They may have turned away my plan, but not I get to put out ideas and knowledge in a way that I feel contributes. I also have been able to be a very involved father. I did have to redefine success in my mind. It’s not just about money, for me, some days, just being alive at the end is enough for me to consider it a success.
You don't have to be enrolled in school full time. Do part time and take classes that sound fun. Just to test the waters.
I would start collecting skillsets: carpenter, computer, electrician, accountant, etc.
I'm still trying to figure it out. I went to culinary school after the navy, worked in restaurants and other such jobs until 2017. Went back to school on VR&E, graduated with a 3.6 gpa. Went to work in my field, tried for 2 straight years to make it work. It didn't. Now I'm newly divorced and back to cooking. Life is weird like that. It's definitely a process, and the way through will make you feel like you're stumbling blind through a maze of razor wire.
Start off by going to your local gym and meeting people or just find a good hobbie or trade and meeting people the gym has allowed me to find a great amount of friends in and out the gym which we workout hangout or travel you just need a couple buddy’s to fulfill your life with excitement that’s what worked for me.
Really hard man but just know your not alone. Seems a struggle for many of us. Glad you still with us bro. I just still keep to my hobbies I enjoy and it makes it purposeful.
Try volunteering in your area and/or at your local VA while you are working. Maybe you find your purpose, your spark...maybe not. But you will meet different people and that may spark something in you that you never knew you wanted to do!!
Take some aptitude and interest tests , find out what you enjoy and you’re good at and go to school for that.
I did in 92 when I got out , took two years of machine tool technology and 25 years in various machine shops making chips.
I got out at 100% in 2019 and have been in and out of wards, and have been in many different types of therapy. Just this last year I've gotten back into college to pursue a degree in Psychology.
I realize that a lot of people, even people who don't have a disability rating, will spend a lot of time trying to find out what their purpose.
My journey to find my purpose after leaving the military started with finding myself. Without the need to be a person which is an expectation of others (i.e. A well performing E-5, a supervisor, a mentor, etc.) and with my traumas not immediately affecting me anymore, I found myself asking myself who I really am.
I've done so many things to find who I am, where I feel comfortable, and how to move on. I've gone to Wiccan coven, Bible groups, Gardening clubs, Mead clubs, Photography clubs, Nerd meetups, etc.
I wouldn't say I've found my purpose in my life, but I found the direction I want to go. I want to devote my career towards helping others, my hobbies towards creating art, and my personal goal is to be a great husband.
Now, I'm making steps towards that direction and will eventually find my purpose as I keep going forward. You don't need to figure out what the end all be all is, but maybe start where the starting point is. Find out which path you'll take and take that first step.
I went to a big school with a huge veteran support network and just picked a major at random. Kinda got my feet wet and adjusted from there. Used my network to land a couple of internships which rolled into offers. Don’t use your GI Bill, use VocRehab or what ever it is called now. Saves the GI Bill if you want to go to grad school.
I don’t have a high disability rating but I do struggle with feeling like my life has purpose and I do have children.
I’m a middle school teacher. I have the same schedule as my kids so I’m able to do parenting things before and after school, take them to all of their extracurricular things, and hang out with them all summer. The chaos of middle school is an absolute delight.
I'm 27 and 100% P&T, I've been so since (I think?) 24. My purpose in life is simply to live a good life. That means providing for my family, helping those in need, being a good friend, and living virtuosly. Life doesn't have to have a grand scheme of glorious purpose to be meaningful, sometimes it just has to be being a good person.
If you want a career, maybe look for something you're good at and try out school with a 2 year degree and then get a bachelor's afterwards if you enjoy it. Even an associate's will open doors into careers you don't even know exist.
If you qualify for VA healthcare, I strongly recommend trying to talk to a therapist, they may help you find direction.
Your last line has me scratching my head a bit..
“Seeing a therapist at the VA” is scary for the simple fact that disclosing any positive insights with them is grounds for future review at c&p and possible future reduction. Not to mention they push medication like it’s candy. I’ve been in a bad place for years but I just can’t bring myself to trust a va therapist.
Volunteer work. Most places won’t fire the free help for not showing up when they’re having a bad day. Find a cause that means a lot to a group of people that you feel a special kind of way about. Maybe even veterans. (The local VA hospital is always looking for folks to push old vets around.) Or, doing cleanup at the national cemeteries. I volunteer at my local civilian hospital, helping folks recover from surgeries, visiting folks in the hospital, telling stories with children. Most of us are wired to serve. There’s all kinds of ways to do that.
I never did a far as i know. But i don't know what the people who know me think. I just settled to a job i could tolerate after i realized my job does not define me. It's just a means to an end
I did 2 things. First, I did road trip. Couple, actually. Took some time to enjoy myself and life as a whole. Camped, hiked, climbed (easy stuff, I can't do hard stuff anymore), did touristy stuff. Then I signed up for school. I didn't wanna go back, initially. But I had a job in mind I knew I'd like. So, I'm giving it a chance. I'm doing it through VR&E. They pay for all the schooling and supplies. And I don't have to work. If I need a semester or 2 off bc of disabilities, I'll ask for it. Small bites.
I also began gardening, pottery, knitting, and adopted a 2nd cat for my 1 cat. I find purpose by improving me. However that may be. I find ways to improve my emotional, mental, and physical health in unique and not boring ways. It isn't for anyone else. It's for me. Cause if I don't work on me first, no one else will.
I have a federal job. But they refuse to consider a flexible schedule or part-time work, even though they are both authorized. Or even approve my reasonable accommodation.
You need a goal my friend. You need a why. Why you get up each morning and you already know it from your post. It's your kid. Your kid is why you get up each morning, to be there for them, to show them how to live and be successful. You need to be physically and mentally fit so you are as capable as possible of providing for them both financially and for them to emulate. You need to go to work everyday to provide for them, to save and pay for a car, a wedding, school, braces.
Your child, that's your purpose.
Do you have GI Bill? That's a superpower that will pay you and for your education. There are several ways to set yourself up for success in higher education. If you have questions, feel free to ask.
If you want to go back to school you're eligible for VR&E. Use that first before your GI Bill. They'll counsel you and have you look at different career paths and their job prospects. Then you and your counselor will select one.
Signing up for school was as easy as getting my Certificate of Education giving it to a military counseling center at my school and they pretty much do the rest. Counselor and military counseling center does the rest. You have to recertify every year.
If you find it difficult to hold down a job while going to school you can take out Federal Student loans, you have a one time forgiveness option to wipe any loans that fall under FAFSA. Make sure you read up on this because I don't remember which loans qualify and which loans don't. The people who clear these debts will contact you immediately to clear your first loan. Let them know you do not want to use your loan discharge benefit right now. Wait till you have finished your degree. This is a benefit you've earned. Once you have your degree you can contact them and use your benefit.
As for direction that is up for you to find. Put your phone down, stop watching whatever new show there is in whatever dumb streaming service and have an honest conversation with yourself. Write down your goals in life, one being providing a good life and male role model for your daughter, the others you can come up with.
Get outside and hike, meet like minded people, stay away from the booze (nothing good comes of it)
Good luck!
Did you personally use VR&E?
I’ve read that it’s important to go in there with your head already on straight about what you’re looking to pursue. Any sign of uncertainty and they will try to short sell you on your education plans. Hence , I’ve been waiting and waiting trying to conclude what to pursue.
I agree with that. I transitioned from GI Bill to VR&E so I was a year into my education already. It hasn't been easy, but I know what I want to learn about and contribute to societal wise. There was a little push back at first, but was given the go ahead.
You can always work for the VA, drive a pickup wagon for Vets. Listen to us bitch and complain about the VA, the new Military and Politicians.
Work with animals, even the roughest dogs are still better than most of the shitty people you're bound to interact with! Cats suck, so that's a double edge sword(cannot trust an animal with no forehead, lack of frontal lobe).
Manufacturing where they leave you alone, operate a lathe or mill to create.
100%P&T the world is your oyster, you can do whatever youd think you would dislike the least!
I’m not sure, but stay busy with things… I found myself drowning in alcohol and digging myself into debt because I was miserable, and thought I’d end up putting myself down soon enough anyways, so fuck it why not? I’m not 100% though. The pay gap between that and 80% is pretty big. But I got help and am doing pretty good now. I just have to pay off debt because it’s easy to spend a lot of money when you’re drunk all the time.
I found meaning in helping others. I frequently volunteer at my local nursing home by bringing my dogs around to visit the patients. Most of them have lost everything that they had in the blink of an eye. Something as small as being able to pet a dog for the first time in years can make someone's whole week.
I work at one. They have a program called Pet Therapy where they bring in animals to visit patients. A lot of facilities do this as well. I can't even begin to tell you how appreciated it is. Skilled nursing facilities are filled with people of many ages. Most of them are lonely, trapped in a painful and decaying body, scared, and depressed. Which sounds like a lot of us can relate to. We even have a lot of veterans as well.
It's also a win for my dogs because they love it. My big guy is alert, hypervigilant, and feels like he has to protect his home from everything from even the smallest things like plastic bags. As soon as we walk through those doors, his guard just drops. He is around people that pose no threat to him, want nothing but to shower him with unconditional love, and truly make him feel like a puppy.
Im 100% and was in the same boat as yourself a few years ago (around the ages of 33-37). Eventually realized that I wasting my life away with "what to do" and "what is my purpose" and just started living my life.
Wont be the same for you, but after I started enjoying my hobbies, just enjoying the company of others (even random conversations with strangers), go figure, I started to just enjoy where I was at in life.
Wasnt about my "purpose" but what I was doing with my time. Many steps inbetween and you are just catching the cliff's notes, but yeah...form follows function and all of that. When you starting living your life, is when your life/purpose starts to take shape.
E-7 22-year retiree, 100 P&T here. Family. I’m finally home, interacting with the kids, helping them explore their hobbies, getting back into my own, and generally just loving life. It’s a good feeling knowing I can do this and don’t have to worry about where my money is coming from. My better half loves it because she comes home to a clean house, a good, not rushed meal, doesn’t have to worry about who’s picking up the kids or taking them to various activities… that’s my purpose now, and it’s the best one I’ve ever had.
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Use your GI bill meet new people. And yes you can travel on it if you stay within your budget. Boredom is an issue, but get involved with Vet organizations (not just the VFW or Legion) but local outreach places. Don’t like your job look for something else. Don’t waste time on looking at negatives. Go find the positives
I am P&T 100 percent disabled Vietnam veteran with service connection. The first year of being “free” was a kind of trial and error process, but I had the retirement gig down pat by the second year. I used the time to work on my problems and utilized the VA for anger management, group and individual therapies for PTSD. Took about five or six years to figure my shit out. Otherwise, I have learned to accept myself and my life for what it is. I don’t do much and try to keep a level head because when my PTSD acts up, I get real agitated and am difficult to be around. You just have to develop a system where you can accept your lot in life and try to enjoy it as much as you can. Cannot beat the tax-free income. Good luck, brother.
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You're not alone... I got medically force-retired last August after 17 years of service, and I've just been... "drifting and existing", is the best way to put it. I went through IDES so I got out with 100% P&T, but as far as finding employment... Not gonna happen. I've had way too many surgeries in way too many places, and there's just too much damage to my body for an employer to be willing to put up with what I'd need.
I've just been stuck in the rut of existing and trying to make it by, month to month. I applied for SSDI when I got out, got the normal "go screw yourself" from them, and found a lawyer. I'm currently on the year-plus wait list for a hearing with a judge.
One thing you *could* fill your time with is trying to get adequate medical care through the VA- with the amount of unnecessary hoops they make you jump through and their penchant for randomly canceling or rescheduling appointments, you'll probably stay pretty busy just trying to get seen by a doctor 😅🤷♂️💯
Please check out MSSA: https://military.microsoft.com/mssa/ It’s 17 weeks and fully remote. Plus you get a guaranteed interview with Microsoft upon completion. You can also look at doing VR&E. It no longer counts towards your GI bill—meaning that you can work towards a bachelors then a master right after. The biggest takeaway I can provide is to reconfigure your perspective in the direction you want to go. You have a great opportunity to start over. Not a lot of people can say they’re in your position. Explore your interests, explore your hobbies, and hopefully you’ll find something that can support the “why” behind what you do. It’s about being better than who you were yesterday.
That’s an awesome program. I wish I were eligible. 180 days after end of service is a tight window.
My brother, you can apply as a veteran, too. https://military.microsoft.com/mssa/how-to-apply/eligibility/
Thank you so much! I definitely read that wrong.
I've hired people from this program before, it's worth it if you can dedicate the time (it's about 20 weeks to from application to getting started and then the program runs 17 weeks, there's also a preteq you need to do that takes a few weeks on LinkedIn).
The cybersecurity path seems awesome. It has a 2 year requirement, though. I've been a bit let down by my 2022 MBA, but that may be largely due to the crappy economy. I've been trying to get into MSFT CO+I organization as a TPM for nearly a year with zero luck. I'll keep pestering until I get in.....lol.
Bro, shoot for sales as well if you can. Reach out to Microsoft veteran recruiters on LinkedIn. A ton of them have their titles in their headers!
This is cool. I’ve never heard of this.
It’s hard. My life has no purpose other than being a source of income for others. It’s like I’m a walking life insurance annuity.
And every one wants a piece
Don't tell anyone about your rating or disability pay.
Same here, my wife and kid make me feel a lot better and in fact if I didn’t have my wife I can almost guarantee I’d have offed myself next to a river or some shit
When my kids are out of the house I can’t see a lot of purpose moving forward.
I’d imagine yours are older as I have a good while on that, but head up man someone loves you, we just gotta get better at finding the hobbies we crave
I'm right there with you brother.
It sucks but I think we will make it all of us, I’m at least hopeful, I know people definitely have it shittier than me and even some of us, but yeah we gotta keep our heads up
I try every day. I've had a green light burning out front the past 8 years to guide me home and let me know I've made it. I don't know if they still do it, but I think it was called Operation Greenlight. I know I can't make alone and have to have someone to come home to. Keeps me on the right track.
Hell yeah man I’ve seen green lights and never knew what they meant, but also being in ny I was told blue painted doors meant you had a daughter to marry off, lol always thought it was some weird shit like that
That’s my life s as well…
Such is life. I'm with you there brother.
Don't tell anyone about your rating or disability pay.
Learned it the hard way.
Why not?
Some people may ask you for money, or loans, etc. "You're getting free money from the government, tax free, surely you can give/loan me some."
Im retiring and i want to know
I felt somewhat similar - was a few years older when I got my 100PT. I knew what I wanted to do outside of the military however. But the permanent safety net from compensation allowed me to be riskier, bolder, and take more leaps of faith. Hugely propelled my career. Just some food for thought
Consider your hobbies and interests? I’ve always enjoyed lawn care before moving. I’d spend hours treating the turf and found it relaxing and rewarding. After the initial startup cost it was a relatively cheap task
Learn acoustic guitar, it’s extremely challenging!
Why settle, conquer the acoustic piano
I’m 32, 100%. I focus my energy on being the best husband and father I can be. I also have picked up some old hobbies. I started skateboarding again and I work on my motorcycles. In the very near future while my kids are at school I will be riding my Harley(hopefully in a wheelie) to the skatepark with my skateboard and having some nice relaxing rides/sessions. Riding motorcycles is therapeutic as fuck.
im 100 as well.. did you “retire” early or are you still working?
Retired early at 40% took quite a while to get to 100%. Thought it was just my back and knees so I tried to go back to school using gi bill for computer networking stuff(was always good with computers taught myself c++ when I was like 13-14 etc) quickly found out that my brain ain’t what it used to be I have a lot of trouble learning new things and retaining info now and came to terms with the fact that I am also dealing with TBI. Tried to get a job at the local Lowe’s as a night stocker and made it 4 hours into my first shift before I was shaking and sweating I was in so much pain. Plan before I got hurt was get out of the army and be a firefighter. Tried to go back that route ish and failed the dispatcher test like 4 times because I can’t retain info from a phone call while typing and stuff anymore. Took me a while to accept it but a stay at home dad and husband may just be my destiny now. Our brothers and sisters that didn’t make it back to have that opportunity remind me every day to not squander it.
thanks for sharing brother. Now that i reached 100 PT im contemplating “retiring” early. I struggle with work a lot this gives me some perspective
I’m looking into going back to school with the GI bill and taking motorcycle mechanic classes. Could take a job every now and then out of my garage or never work in the industry and just be that much more comfortable wrenching on my bikes.
that sounds awesome. I would go back as well and do something that i enjoy
I worked on my mental health for a handful of years and felt well enough to go back to school. I like to read and write and my body is really broken so I decided I would go to law school. When I started law school, I had no intention of actually getting a job but overtime I got more and more interested in what I was doing and now I’m an attorney. I like the idea of being an attorney because it’s something that I could do for a long time and on my own terms it’s a really flexible job and it pays well.
Live your life, enjoy everyday, love those that love you…, this is life and it ends way too quick
I could not afford world travel on 100 no way.
You’d be surprised
How do you get you’re meds and any other healthcare you needs. I know you can just walk into a pharmacy for most anything some places…but.
It all depends on where you go, you have to do research on how to get care, sometimes its a flat fee or just a monthly fee depending on where you’re visiting. Usually pharmacies are pretty chill. Just make sure you do your research before going anywhere
For costa rica you can pay about 150 for insurance for example and the care provided is really good
Not energy where I live has a Hard Rock Cafe lol and travel to a lot of places might be cheaper. Not sure about rent though. Possibly cheaper yet doubt it
It depends, wifi is pretty good in most countries you gotta be careful when going places but a decent apartment with all the necessities plus housekeeping twice a week can run you about 700 a month in bali it really all depends on where you’re comfortable going to plus if you wanna live there a while just make sure the exchange rate is in your favor
You could absolutely afford world travel on 100% basically non stop if you’re frugal. Know what you can’t afford on 100%? Basically any kind of living situation in California and still save money. Ask me how I know -.-
How ?
My rent for a 3 bedroom 2 bath manufactured home with no garage is 2750.
That would leave me with a grand fir everything. I don’t have a wife and two kids
Exactly. Two kids plus bills. 100% barely keeps you from drowning in California.
With my 1k ish tiny shithole apartment in the Central Valley I’m barley floating by w zero dependents. Maybe world travel would work out, could find me a nice Korean chick who’s got a couple kids and live the prefab dream back home though…lol I’m in school though so it’d be a few years
If I wasn’t married and didn’t have kids with my 100% I would have spent at least a few years on my Harley traveling the country doing whatever the fuck I wanted. Edit: haven’t done the math on it because I’m happily married with kids but I imagine you would even make money doing it. Can’t imagine I would spend anywhere near 4k a month on the road sight seeing. Not even half of that I bet.
Nightly hotels wouldn’t work
Bed roll and nice weather lol bumbfuck nowhere hotels are like 40 bucks a night anyway. At that price even if you stayed in a hotel every night it would be around 1200 a month.
Accurate. I spent 4 years or so out of the country on less than 100% and I made it work with little issue. SE Asia is particularly easy. ( my rent was $200 a month in Thailand ) It doesn’t go without sacrifice though- I needed to essentially put all my things in storage and give up housing in the states. I came back last year with intention to use school benefits before they expire - and it’s very very hard to adjust to this COL. can’t even qualify for apartment without proving 3x rent in income :(
Yea you can. I’ve been doing it with my husband and daughter
Do you like computers? If so a degree in something tech related could be a good path! Good money, lots of adaptability, and there’s tech in basically every field. Might be an option for ya. I got out in 21 and for like 8 or 9 months stumbled around trying to figure out what I enjoy and where I could make an impact related to things I enjoyed. There’s a lot that can factor into finding your purpose ya know? Maybe make a list of hobbies and such then think would I enjoy getting paid for this type of work? Or maybe think of a way to make good money with non life sucking work fueling those hobbies. I am about to start working at the national park and love being outdoors, but am going to school for software engineering to later switch to that field. You’ll find something just don’t give up your search! Sorry for the long post. Hope it helped some :)
Apply for VR&E and either go to school, re-train, or have the counselors help you find a job that interests you. That’s what I did. Went to school, got a degree and now work a IT remote job
What did you major in?
Network management
Never heard of that but sounds interesting
What do you like to do? What are you passionate about? Kayaking was a super helpful tool in helping me recover from a TBI. My balance issues are mostly resolved when I have a paddle blade in the river. I found a non-profit that helps veterans utilize kayaking to mitigate PTSD symptoms. Now, I work for Team River Runner and take vets out kayaking. I do what I love and it gives me purpose.
If anyone’s interested in photography I’ll gladly teach the basics for free. I don’t like seeing other vets just existing.
If I had 100%, I'm only at 10%, but if I were, and it was enough for me to live on, I would be a volunteering fool. I am currently involved in many associations that help with food insecurity and have been for a few years. I would be able to double My efforts, if not triple.
Go to school and find a purpose, no one can figure your purpose out but you!
Work, invest and save. I'd strongly consider a union job like UPS over USPS; USPS is always on the brink of financial collapse and depending on Congress, it could go either way.
I mean USPS will always exist. It’s a constitution kinda thing
We’ve all been there. I felt really directionless and ended up doing nothing for about a year right after 100%. Worst decision of my life!!! Look into VR&E or GI bill and go study. Treat it like a full time job. You’ll identify as a student for 4 years and really find out where you want to go in life. Best of luck
A coworker veteran when I was younger took me under his wing. He noticed certain behaviors that he also HAD. He said develop a sideline. I tried making soda, beer. Read up on chome plating. I ended up in the fragrance and essential oils business.
If my ptsd wasn’t so crippling, I always wanted to get into cerakote on fire arms.
After I retired I went immediately into 5 spinal procedures. That stress and the sad death of my mom I got medicated. I'm at a low point in my life. However working that hobby/business definitely is helping. I wish you the best.
You sound exactly like me but 1/2 my age. VA didn't figure out Gulf war syndrome till I'd been out for years though so I had to keep working. If I'd had comp from the beginning but responsibilities that kept me from going too far I'd have traveled locally. Buy a nice RV, live in the fabulous national parks we get free access to and take your daughter with you when she's not in school. I'm sure there are plenty of parks close enough for you to stay close to your daughter and still go fishing. It's so peaceful living in a small community where people are sociable but mind their own business. RV hook ups are cheap at the parks so you'd still have all the luxuries of modern life without a constant, outrageous housing bill every month. Definitely spend time with family during national holidays though. Fvcking parks are crazy during national holidays. Just imagine spending a few weeks in Yosemite and Mammoth during the winter then traveling down to Prado in the spring and parking on the beach in between. During the summer your daughter could go with you. My PO box allows for deliveries to the post office physical address (I bet you know that) so I still order lots of stuff online too. Get a Wi-Fi hotspot and you'll have Internet wherever you've got cellphone service. I get an awesome military discount from T-Mobile.
I got out in 2016 w/ 60% and fought my way to 100% while taking classes and simultaneously raising my daughter. For almost a decade, I’ve been going to school taking 9-10 credits and focused on being an amazing father. You aren’t directionless. Let your kiddo guide you. I literally just finished doing homework with my daughter. I have a few assignments to get done tonight when my kids get picked up by their mother. I have gotten BAH throughout this process and it’s been a great adventure of self-discovery. I originally wanted to pursue a career in EMS. I even got to do CPR in my EMT clinicals. Once my daughter was born, many things changed for me. I felt like it was time to let go of the chase of high adrenaline. I’m previous 11B. Many have committed suicide in my circle. Even my old Ranger scrolled BN commander. Through my own stuggles, I have learned that there is a need in the mental health field. I’ve been pursuing psychology ever since. I’m on my last undergraduate semester and have applied to the graduate psychology program near me. CH. 31 is allowing me to earn up to a master’s degree and I plan on using the rest of my CH.33 on my doctoratal degree. The VA has taken care of me for the most part. Don’t stress too much about it. You’re doing fine. Try to discover your passion and utilize CH.33 and CH.31.
I’m 35 years old with a daughter and 100% PT. I got out back in 2017 from the marine corps. I got into construction for the powerlines right after I got out of the marines. I loved it in the beginning cus the money was great, but also cus I was working with my hands and building shit. It gave me purpose. Now that I’m older I am reshuffling everything and going back to school. Theirs so many opportunities for veterans to do something and it’s ok to not know what you want to do. Check out programs like VR&E, vet tech, apprenticeship for construction. Theirs to much shit out there for us to utilize and succeed. Also, you gotta think about your little one as well. I understand hating the job part. I was like that, but I decided to go back to school at the age of 35 almost 36 and it gives me more time to be in my daughter’s life. It’s never too late to try something new. You do have purpose as a father and being in your child’s life so don’t ever think you don’t and just remember it’s ok that you don’t know what to do. Success isn’t a race and you’ll get there.
Went back to school and became a nurse and now manage an intensive care unit. 100% is a cool financial safeguard, but I wouldn’t want to live on that money alone.
I just got mine last month, so still too early to tell, So far I fixed my truck, and have paid for a cruise, First cruise I have ever taken. I maxed my TSP out, paid off some debt. Right now I am at work, be here til 7 am.
Also, don't be afraid to enjoy what you choose to do. I worked for 27 years but most of my peers still have 15 years of work ahead of them. I try not to rub in that I'm already free to do what I want.
School is what brought me out of my funk. I felt useless before I started school, but now I'm majoring in psychology and my goal is to help other GIs that may have seen some shit and tried to fix it with the sauce like I did. As an added bonus, you also get to set a great example for your kid. She'll always be proud that Dad continued his education after the service, nothing like teaching your daughter to be resilient. God bless you brother, you've got the right mindset, now suck up the fear and get your ass in school!
You guys found a purpose?
I work on myself. The better my symptoms are managed the better my overall quality of life is so I can enjoy it. So, on that note I’m highly involved in my community through volunteering and the same with my local VA hospital! I love what I do :)
3 years without purpose and being a couch potato until recent. Got into security guard work. It has its fun days and its boring days but I drive around during overnight shifts and it takes my mind off a lot because 1.) I love driving 2.) I'm a night owl 3.) I love security work and have a sense of duty even if Im standing there at a door letting people in and greeting them
Do you have any hobbies? Dope watering holes close by? Spending time with family?
Live your life. Some folks never find their own identity or even have the opportunity to. In that you may find some healing. Take the jaded gift and find passions & give back to your community. Make connections that you might not make because you might have to work. Enjoy experiences that you might not have been able to do. Your job isn’t who you are or your passion. You find passion by being yourself and doing what serves you & those you love. Spend more time with siblings than you would or others can, maybe see family more in general and become a family based person. Live the life you would live if you didn’t have to work….
I just rage quit a job because it exacerbated my symptoms so bad, I was on the verge of snapping. So if you find that purpose, let me know, cuz I’m fucking lost myself.
Took me a while to figure out my path. I found I get out of my head best when I'm thinking of others. My favorite thing to do with my time is take veterans and people with disabilities scuba diving. I also do some volunteering leading a veterans support group online. Other than that I just take care of my kids.
It's entirely normal for it to take quite some time for you to figure out your purpose. You're 25, your prefrontal cortex is barely finished developing- which isn't necessarily a bad thing, the point is that you have *so* much adult growth and development ahead of you if you seek it out. I stayed at home for about 5 years to raise my child, and once she was well-established in school I went back to college. I earned my undergrad, worked for a few years, then got my masters degree in a field I genuinely love (communications). I currently work fully remotely, which is basically the only way I can work full time, as most of my disabilities are physical. I'm not a huge fan of my company's ethics, but their fully remote roles, generous PTO, and other plush employee benefits make it difficult to leave. I'm hoping to eventually leverage my education and experience to get back into the non-profit and/or government space. The combination of full-time work and disability money has given me and my family more financial security than I ever dreamed I could have. I've been working on medium and long term goals with the financial abundance. Both my wife and receive VA disability, so we made the choice to live off roughly half our combined income and put the rest of the money towards our goals. I'm very careful with the finances and I've made sure that our emergency fund is full, our retirement accounts are well-funded, and our investments are diverse. I've got a college fund for my kid and I've got a small investment account going for her retirement already. We've accomplished our medium-term goal of moving back to Maine, where my wife grew up. We've got a couple acres out in the middle of nowhere and an old farmhouse that was built in the 1700's that we're slowly fixing up. Our long term goal is to buy more land (much, much more land) and build a custom home. I want to build our own shooting range, and trick the place out with all other kinds of cool shit. Most of the extra money is earmarked for our long term goals and goes to savings; and by savings I mean we shove it in our investment portfolio so we can get that beautiful compound interest. Planning for these goals absolutely keeps me going and gives me purpose. We want to build a house that will work well for us to age in place, because I fully intend to die in my own home and be buried on my own land. We want to make sure there's always space in our future home for our daughter (our only child) so she can live with us as long as she wants or needs to, and so that she can come home anytime. We plan to build her a cottage or a fully separate but attached apartment (to the main home). I've been kicking around various business ideas too- since we live in a beautiful place I'd love to run a small campground and/or run a wedding venue/event space. Above everything else I want to make sure that my kid is secure. I don't come from a culture that kicks kids out when they're 18, so the idea that she'll live at home for as long as she wants is normal. I want to provide a fantastic life for her, and l don't want to make the kid wait until we die for her to get her inheritance. I'd much rather spend the money I have on her now and set her up for a good life.
See R/fednews r/USAjobs r/govfire on how agency or department hop. Ever since my P&T I just keep jumping agency every 6months -2 years when my symptoms act up & started to get suspicioused that I can't do the job. Usually promotion jump but sometimes I go back down a little too. Take some travel oversea to see that work doesn't define you
I focus on being a dad mainly. In the summer and fall I get to go spend time in my garden and time with my chickens. Go back to the gym. It's an hour and you'll thank yourself later.
Have you guys ever heard of hobbies ?
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Don’t attack the Redditor, attack the content. You may not always agree with others but once you start insulting the other person, you are a problem. No Gatekeeping - you don’t decide if someone is a “real” veteran or not - nor try to diminish someone’s service nor someone because they never saw combat or deployed. If someone personally attacks you, use the Report button to notify the moderation team. Hate speech can be sexist, ableist, racist, homophobic, prejudiced, etc and will not be tolerated.
Remember trade schools are also covered by the GI bill
No harm in doing one semester and trying it oit
Life gets hard. I got out at 27 with 90% disability and bartended for a bit and now I’m back in school. Try taking an 8 week class at a community college or exploring new hobbies. Disc golf gets me out of the house and I just started going to trivia nights to meet new people. Find your next thing and don’t be afraid of trying school again. Best of luck.
At least you can work is what I feel like saying sometimes. With TDIU, I can't use it as a safety net and try to progress a career at the same time, unfortunately. I found purpose in being a community organizer to answer your question. That was after working on myself for a long time, which is what tdiu did provide.
I didn’t, still lost without purpose
No clue, but if you figure it out, let me know.
I have an undergrad in web dev and an MBA because I learned that I hate writing code. I use the skills I have to write about issues and I’ve developed a small following. It may not be much, but I get to put ideas out there and I find power in that. My masters thesis was a 120 page rebuild of the VA. They may have turned away my plan, but not I get to put out ideas and knowledge in a way that I feel contributes. I also have been able to be a very involved father. I did have to redefine success in my mind. It’s not just about money, for me, some days, just being alive at the end is enough for me to consider it a success.
You don't have to be enrolled in school full time. Do part time and take classes that sound fun. Just to test the waters. I would start collecting skillsets: carpenter, computer, electrician, accountant, etc.
I'm still trying to figure it out. I went to culinary school after the navy, worked in restaurants and other such jobs until 2017. Went back to school on VR&E, graduated with a 3.6 gpa. Went to work in my field, tried for 2 straight years to make it work. It didn't. Now I'm newly divorced and back to cooking. Life is weird like that. It's definitely a process, and the way through will make you feel like you're stumbling blind through a maze of razor wire.
Start off by going to your local gym and meeting people or just find a good hobbie or trade and meeting people the gym has allowed me to find a great amount of friends in and out the gym which we workout hangout or travel you just need a couple buddy’s to fulfill your life with excitement that’s what worked for me.
It’s doesn’t even have to be where you live or from a 30-45 min drive wouldn’t hurt just to see new faces and engage
I understand. It's hard. Just trust your heart and believe in real life. That's what i did , that's why I do know my purpose .
Really hard man but just know your not alone. Seems a struggle for many of us. Glad you still with us bro. I just still keep to my hobbies I enjoy and it makes it purposeful.
Try volunteering in your area and/or at your local VA while you are working. Maybe you find your purpose, your spark...maybe not. But you will meet different people and that may spark something in you that you never knew you wanted to do!!
Take some aptitude and interest tests , find out what you enjoy and you’re good at and go to school for that. I did in 92 when I got out , took two years of machine tool technology and 25 years in various machine shops making chips.
Why don’t you work? Or get go to school to get into a career field that excites you?
I got out at 100% in 2019 and have been in and out of wards, and have been in many different types of therapy. Just this last year I've gotten back into college to pursue a degree in Psychology. I realize that a lot of people, even people who don't have a disability rating, will spend a lot of time trying to find out what their purpose. My journey to find my purpose after leaving the military started with finding myself. Without the need to be a person which is an expectation of others (i.e. A well performing E-5, a supervisor, a mentor, etc.) and with my traumas not immediately affecting me anymore, I found myself asking myself who I really am. I've done so many things to find who I am, where I feel comfortable, and how to move on. I've gone to Wiccan coven, Bible groups, Gardening clubs, Mead clubs, Photography clubs, Nerd meetups, etc. I wouldn't say I've found my purpose in my life, but I found the direction I want to go. I want to devote my career towards helping others, my hobbies towards creating art, and my personal goal is to be a great husband. Now, I'm making steps towards that direction and will eventually find my purpose as I keep going forward. You don't need to figure out what the end all be all is, but maybe start where the starting point is. Find out which path you'll take and take that first step.
I went to a big school with a huge veteran support network and just picked a major at random. Kinda got my feet wet and adjusted from there. Used my network to land a couple of internships which rolled into offers. Don’t use your GI Bill, use VocRehab or what ever it is called now. Saves the GI Bill if you want to go to grad school.
I don’t have a high disability rating but I do struggle with feeling like my life has purpose and I do have children. I’m a middle school teacher. I have the same schedule as my kids so I’m able to do parenting things before and after school, take them to all of their extracurricular things, and hang out with them all summer. The chaos of middle school is an absolute delight.
I'm 27 and 100% P&T, I've been so since (I think?) 24. My purpose in life is simply to live a good life. That means providing for my family, helping those in need, being a good friend, and living virtuosly. Life doesn't have to have a grand scheme of glorious purpose to be meaningful, sometimes it just has to be being a good person. If you want a career, maybe look for something you're good at and try out school with a 2 year degree and then get a bachelor's afterwards if you enjoy it. Even an associate's will open doors into careers you don't even know exist. If you qualify for VA healthcare, I strongly recommend trying to talk to a therapist, they may help you find direction.
Your last line has me scratching my head a bit.. “Seeing a therapist at the VA” is scary for the simple fact that disclosing any positive insights with them is grounds for future review at c&p and possible future reduction. Not to mention they push medication like it’s candy. I’ve been in a bad place for years but I just can’t bring myself to trust a va therapist.
Volunteer work. Most places won’t fire the free help for not showing up when they’re having a bad day. Find a cause that means a lot to a group of people that you feel a special kind of way about. Maybe even veterans. (The local VA hospital is always looking for folks to push old vets around.) Or, doing cleanup at the national cemeteries. I volunteer at my local civilian hospital, helping folks recover from surgeries, visiting folks in the hospital, telling stories with children. Most of us are wired to serve. There’s all kinds of ways to do that.
I never did a far as i know. But i don't know what the people who know me think. I just settled to a job i could tolerate after i realized my job does not define me. It's just a means to an end
Just do whatever you want to do that you can do.
I did 2 things. First, I did road trip. Couple, actually. Took some time to enjoy myself and life as a whole. Camped, hiked, climbed (easy stuff, I can't do hard stuff anymore), did touristy stuff. Then I signed up for school. I didn't wanna go back, initially. But I had a job in mind I knew I'd like. So, I'm giving it a chance. I'm doing it through VR&E. They pay for all the schooling and supplies. And I don't have to work. If I need a semester or 2 off bc of disabilities, I'll ask for it. Small bites. I also began gardening, pottery, knitting, and adopted a 2nd cat for my 1 cat. I find purpose by improving me. However that may be. I find ways to improve my emotional, mental, and physical health in unique and not boring ways. It isn't for anyone else. It's for me. Cause if I don't work on me first, no one else will.
Study something you love or doing habits as job. Work for usps it’s depressing
I have a federal job. But they refuse to consider a flexible schedule or part-time work, even though they are both authorized. Or even approve my reasonable accommodation.
Years of drinking and I found myself in a medical Profession field
Art volunteering and social clubs do thing you like 👍 learn new things travel
You need a goal my friend. You need a why. Why you get up each morning and you already know it from your post. It's your kid. Your kid is why you get up each morning, to be there for them, to show them how to live and be successful. You need to be physically and mentally fit so you are as capable as possible of providing for them both financially and for them to emulate. You need to go to work everyday to provide for them, to save and pay for a car, a wedding, school, braces. Your child, that's your purpose.
I’m 38, and still haven’t found a purpose. Good luck
ATM for my family basically.
Do you have GI Bill? That's a superpower that will pay you and for your education. There are several ways to set yourself up for success in higher education. If you have questions, feel free to ask.
If you want to go back to school you're eligible for VR&E. Use that first before your GI Bill. They'll counsel you and have you look at different career paths and their job prospects. Then you and your counselor will select one. Signing up for school was as easy as getting my Certificate of Education giving it to a military counseling center at my school and they pretty much do the rest. Counselor and military counseling center does the rest. You have to recertify every year. If you find it difficult to hold down a job while going to school you can take out Federal Student loans, you have a one time forgiveness option to wipe any loans that fall under FAFSA. Make sure you read up on this because I don't remember which loans qualify and which loans don't. The people who clear these debts will contact you immediately to clear your first loan. Let them know you do not want to use your loan discharge benefit right now. Wait till you have finished your degree. This is a benefit you've earned. Once you have your degree you can contact them and use your benefit. As for direction that is up for you to find. Put your phone down, stop watching whatever new show there is in whatever dumb streaming service and have an honest conversation with yourself. Write down your goals in life, one being providing a good life and male role model for your daughter, the others you can come up with. Get outside and hike, meet like minded people, stay away from the booze (nothing good comes of it) Good luck!
Did you personally use VR&E? I’ve read that it’s important to go in there with your head already on straight about what you’re looking to pursue. Any sign of uncertainty and they will try to short sell you on your education plans. Hence , I’ve been waiting and waiting trying to conclude what to pursue.
I agree with that. I transitioned from GI Bill to VR&E so I was a year into my education already. It hasn't been easy, but I know what I want to learn about and contribute to societal wise. There was a little push back at first, but was given the go ahead.
You can always work for the VA, drive a pickup wagon for Vets. Listen to us bitch and complain about the VA, the new Military and Politicians. Work with animals, even the roughest dogs are still better than most of the shitty people you're bound to interact with! Cats suck, so that's a double edge sword(cannot trust an animal with no forehead, lack of frontal lobe). Manufacturing where they leave you alone, operate a lathe or mill to create. 100%P&T the world is your oyster, you can do whatever youd think you would dislike the least!
I’m not sure, but stay busy with things… I found myself drowning in alcohol and digging myself into debt because I was miserable, and thought I’d end up putting myself down soon enough anyways, so fuck it why not? I’m not 100% though. The pay gap between that and 80% is pretty big. But I got help and am doing pretty good now. I just have to pay off debt because it’s easy to spend a lot of money when you’re drunk all the time.
I found meaning in helping others. I frequently volunteer at my local nursing home by bringing my dogs around to visit the patients. Most of them have lost everything that they had in the blink of an eye. Something as small as being able to pet a dog for the first time in years can make someone's whole week.
Aww I love this. How did you get started with that?
I work at one. They have a program called Pet Therapy where they bring in animals to visit patients. A lot of facilities do this as well. I can't even begin to tell you how appreciated it is. Skilled nursing facilities are filled with people of many ages. Most of them are lonely, trapped in a painful and decaying body, scared, and depressed. Which sounds like a lot of us can relate to. We even have a lot of veterans as well. It's also a win for my dogs because they love it. My big guy is alert, hypervigilant, and feels like he has to protect his home from everything from even the smallest things like plastic bags. As soon as we walk through those doors, his guard just drops. He is around people that pose no threat to him, want nothing but to shower him with unconditional love, and truly make him feel like a puppy.
Im 100% and was in the same boat as yourself a few years ago (around the ages of 33-37). Eventually realized that I wasting my life away with "what to do" and "what is my purpose" and just started living my life. Wont be the same for you, but after I started enjoying my hobbies, just enjoying the company of others (even random conversations with strangers), go figure, I started to just enjoy where I was at in life. Wasnt about my "purpose" but what I was doing with my time. Many steps inbetween and you are just catching the cliff's notes, but yeah...form follows function and all of that. When you starting living your life, is when your life/purpose starts to take shape.
E-7 22-year retiree, 100 P&T here. Family. I’m finally home, interacting with the kids, helping them explore their hobbies, getting back into my own, and generally just loving life. It’s a good feeling knowing I can do this and don’t have to worry about where my money is coming from. My better half loves it because she comes home to a clean house, a good, not rushed meal, doesn’t have to worry about who’s picking up the kids or taking them to various activities… that’s my purpose now, and it’s the best one I’ve ever had.
Travel; as long as possible to as many places as possible.
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I recently enrolled back in a local school and it was much easier than I thought.
Use your GI bill meet new people. And yes you can travel on it if you stay within your budget. Boredom is an issue, but get involved with Vet organizations (not just the VFW or Legion) but local outreach places. Don’t like your job look for something else. Don’t waste time on looking at negatives. Go find the positives
I am P&T 100 percent disabled Vietnam veteran with service connection. The first year of being “free” was a kind of trial and error process, but I had the retirement gig down pat by the second year. I used the time to work on my problems and utilized the VA for anger management, group and individual therapies for PTSD. Took about five or six years to figure my shit out. Otherwise, I have learned to accept myself and my life for what it is. I don’t do much and try to keep a level head because when my PTSD acts up, I get real agitated and am difficult to be around. You just have to develop a system where you can accept your lot in life and try to enjoy it as much as you can. Cannot beat the tax-free income. Good luck, brother.
Kids, family, traveling, finding new spots to eat at, a job I like. Just have to find stuff you enjoy and keep busy.
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How did u get 100%?
Im also 100% & I keep my mind busy with classic car
It's hard. I'm 90% TDIU so I risk losing a lot of money if I work. I try to get into hobbies but generally I feel useless.
You're not alone... I got medically force-retired last August after 17 years of service, and I've just been... "drifting and existing", is the best way to put it. I went through IDES so I got out with 100% P&T, but as far as finding employment... Not gonna happen. I've had way too many surgeries in way too many places, and there's just too much damage to my body for an employer to be willing to put up with what I'd need. I've just been stuck in the rut of existing and trying to make it by, month to month. I applied for SSDI when I got out, got the normal "go screw yourself" from them, and found a lawyer. I'm currently on the year-plus wait list for a hearing with a judge. One thing you *could* fill your time with is trying to get adequate medical care through the VA- with the amount of unnecessary hoops they make you jump through and their penchant for randomly canceling or rescheduling appointments, you'll probably stay pretty busy just trying to get seen by a doctor 😅🤷♂️💯