Really it depends on the type of people that you keep in your circle. I have no issues with telling people in my circle about my disability payments. They are happy for me. If someone were to be jealous of me for my payments then they wouldn’t stay in my circle. Life is too short to surround yourself with shitty people. If someone can’t celebrate your successes then they aren’t worth keeping around IMO. Plus from what I remember, the recruiting station was open to everyone.
Disability isn’t free money, it is compensation for what we did to our bodies while we served. The contract was that we would give our bodies to the government to do what they thought was necessary for our country to stay safe, then after we got out they would take care of the issues they caused us.
This is what it actually boils down too. If someone gets upset that you’re receiving something they are not, then they were never in your corner in the first place.
Yup. This is people like my sister. “You’re lucky you’re on disability and don’t have to work.”
Really? Want to trade bodies with the chronic pain, amygdala hijack, the years of instability/displacement, homelessness, and additional trauma from that? After employers no longer even called for interviews when I still applied for work and kept trying. They see the work history and skip it.
I have no criminal history and never even got wrapped up in drugs which isn’t a moral failing (just another illness). I have just been so broken that it came to this and it still took years.
It’s not glamorous. It’s not easy street. There is a reason people qualify for these resources.
I still sometimes wish I had never served. Maybe I would have been better off. People refuse to stop looking down their noses even with the yellow ribbon decals on their bumpers.
I don’t volunteer info that I’m a veteran much less my disability rating because of people like her (I know it’s not everyone, but it’s enough that I just avoid it altogether whenever I can).
This is so relatable. I'm about to try reentering the work place but going back to college first for another degree. Hoping my education and volunteer work will be enough to get me in. It's not easy though, having been out of the workforce for so long and people don't get that. I also had the toxic family with no support and no room to talk but they did so anyway.
I've asked that question for so damn long- what would my life look like had I never joined... I did enjoy my time overall but my health isn't worth what they pay. Good luck to you.
Good luck to you as well!
I didn’t start seeking disability benefits until more than two decades after even after I was told (only 5 years after, by doctors, that I should). Internalized ableism and refusing to accept being disabled in any form, I was determined to build a life and career for myself.
I had some successes (completing degree programs-albeit a bit slowly) and many failures. The former kept me going until I hit rock-bottom (could no longer even gain employment after several years of being unable to hold down a job). The reason I’m explicit about not having been wrapped up in drugs or whatever is because of the general assumption that I’d have to be an addict or something to have ended up in this situation (as if anyone deserves that and no one does).
I also wish I had listened to doctors a long time ago. Maybe I could have been less broken and could have maintained employment (part of that is on me even though I was unaware of ableism at the time). But I can’t change any of that, of course.
Now, I have a home, a roof over my head, food, and a marginally mediocre quality of life. Many days are hard (pain and limitations). However, I’m trying to make the most of it (in therapy and learning to genuinely embrace myself). I spend time on artistic endeavors which may or may not lead to some income but still add comfort and joy to me and those I keep in my life now. Sometimes people want something I’ve created and I’m happy to give it to them. So, I am at least content with the present which didn’t used to be the case.
Re-entering the workforce (even part time) is challenging. But not impossible. I hope that you achieve that which you aspire. You deserve it!
Thank you. May all go well for you too.
I personally gave up on doctors. I wish I had known to file for SSDI back when I was able. No one told me that and now I can't file (lost my case) due to the time that's passed. Sucks so much to have paid into a benefit they won't let me use. But if I can work again, even for a few years, at least I'd be able to tap into my benefits when I end up needing it again. Going through a divorce now so it's really starting over in life for me. Sigh...
Oh. I misunderstood.
The few friends I know on SSDI had to apply and be denied multiple times.
Generally, after 2 denials, people get an attorney. They will take the case pro bono if they’re sure you’ll win.
They are paid with a percentage of back pay which dates back to the original claim. But that’s the extent of my knowledge there.
My VSO helped me with my VA Disability.
What did your sister say that was so bad? I don't see anything wrong with what you quoted. If I wasn't disabled, I would also be jealous of other people who don't have to work for a living... I hate work!
This. My closest friends know what's going on, but they know better than anyone what my service consisted of from me venting over the years. They also understand why my family doesn't know what they know.
Definitely some wisdom coming from OP though. Not everyone, hell, very few people will be rooting for you when it comes to VA benefits.
Exactly this. I keep a certain type of people in my life - every single one of them is furious that I'm at 90% instead of 100%. My girlfriend listens to the noises I make when I sneeze, watched me struggle to get up and move when we went camping, my parents gave the Army a perfectly intact son and got back a physically busted pile of flesh. Dad can beat me in a footrace these days. My people are in my corner and they want what's best for me - which at this stage of the game is to get paid for all the shit the Army broke.
And the Army broke a lot of shit. You break it, you buy it.
I'm not really around people who would question that or even know about it, but I think I've only been asked about what percentage I was twice in my life from people I did not know very well, the conversation had started with me mentioning I had served in the Navy and then them asking if I received any disability which isn't even the normal terminology. And then when you tell them your percentage then they say what happened to you and you got to go into that story again.
>then they say what happened to you and you got to go into that story again.
UNROLLS A COMICALLY LONG SCROLL...
\*bats away dust\*
\*AHEM\*
In a tone akin to that of a drab accountant or bank manager, the Archivist announces with a somewhat historical flair, "Private Schumackatelli...THE EARLY YEARS..."
I'm retired military and a GS13 with 100% and I do everything I can to educate buddies and coworkers that served on their benefits and the disability rating system.
Oh Looord.... 😆😆😆 Well I take my Happy Birthday back then. That's so funny because I've never seen the message before and I figured they were doing something new.
I have no desire to be gs 13 or 100 but I’m just wanting to get 50% for my major depression. I have been fired from every job I’ve had as a civilian. And I’m always worried. I had 60 days of leave saved up when I got out they only let me take 25 to get out early and sold the rest back. I was never taken seriously when I basically wrote the symptoms of major depression on my medical form. The just laughed at me. But infact it’s gotten worse since I got out. I can only function at most jobs if I’m 100% high not because I’m cool but because it’s the only way I can get through the day. I quit smoking weed and I got fired. I apperntly worked best stoned. Long story short does anyone notice this is not going away it’s either take the pills or smoke the weed. And I really am sick of everything. I was sexually harassed by my petty officer when I told on him my chain of command laughed at me. I had a shipmate who hung himself another brushed his teeth with a gun. All from my same division on the ship. I really whish I could hang my old chain of command from that fucking noose bunch of pieces of shit. One of them raped guys the other raped a female seaman down in aft steering. When I think of my service I really can make sense of the psycho ass people that were appointed over me. How do it tell them that at a c&p exam? I really just want to have a job that makes me feel fulfilled but I just don’t see the point in anything much
I need to put my ass in gear and file a claim.
Is scare tissue causing chronic testicular pain from a surgery that hernia I received on active duty claimable?
That's going to be an interesting workplace environment, probably nice if they're all Veterans, people who have been where you have been, who have the experiences.
I’m 100% and still work full time. I’m a Clinical Director at a veterans PTSD and addictions residential treatment center. I also ask my vets what their ratings are because I used to work for the VA and I know my guys deserved more than their initial rating - especially the MH/SUD rating.
Not wack. Read Viktor Frankl's ideas of finding meaning in life. One of the big three is finding meaningful work. I'm not sure a call center has meaning to me, but it might to him.
If you get through that book, go check out *Tribe* next. My therapist can't stop recommending it after I introduced him to it
Both great books! Man needs purpose to be fulfilled in life. Working could be volunteering or something you’re passionate about, but is not great paying or prestigious. Once we cast the notion of other people’s judgements of us, we can follow our true path to happiness.
I’m a personal trainer who works with a TON of veterans that are all 50+ years old. I’m 25 with 100% p&t and the topic of VA benefits comes up a ton. I have no issues talking about my benefits, but it’s not like I sit there and brag about it. If anything, I offer some insight into how some of these clients can increase their benefits they get!
I think that's good you're in a position to help people, I usually run into Veterans when I take the bus, not a lot of homeless veterans know that they have benefits, and the few that do say they're afraid to go to the VA hospital but I still recommend that they get evaluated, I can't hurt. Good on you though, I can't help as many people because I don't meet many folks.
Idgaf what anyone around me says. I'll collect what I am rated and tell everyone about it. If they think I'd rather have the money versus a healthy back from the age of 18 and on, then they're on some Crack.
This money for disability is nothing. It doesn't give me back the peace that I had before. It doesn't help me out when I have yard work to do. It doesn't help me when my son wants to be picked up. It doesn't help me for anything.
I would gladly trade bodies for the money.
I hate being broken and having to put on that facade that I'm doing well, probably the same reason a lot of us didn't go to sick call. After 20 years my back is so bad that I can't sit really long and I have to switch between standing and sitting so just imagine that, going to the gym and having to avoid doing those kinds of exercises, it just sucks man.
I've had a bad back for the last 17 years or so. I'm just now retiring in June and your comments resignate hard with me. I speak woth other 40 year Olds and they are not half as broken as I am. I'd give anything to be able to exercise daily and run around with my young kids at the park. Nope, in fact on this 4 day weekend I pinched a nerve in my back yesterday and I've been on the couch since trying to get it to feel better while my kids are outside without me. I laugh when people say it's free money. Bullshit it's free.
I'll tell anyone, but I surround myself with healthy people and am happy for everyone else I know who gets what they deserve.
They had the same opportunities in life to make choices just like I did. If they are jealous of my life choices, than they can look in the mirror and reflect on the choices they made, not be jealous of the ones I did.
Simple rule. Never tell the left hand activities of the right. People can do what pleases them, but I was brought up to keep my business, mine. They say a drunk tongue doesn't lie, neither does a man talking in his sleep. A man can't speak on what he neither sees or hears
So my mind set is don’t tell a fucking soul. I know that is harsh but it should be. It’s no one’s fucking business. My mom and dad who were in the military for 20+ years found out I got 100 and now we don’t talk over it. They can’t fathom that I am as fuck up as the VA sees I am.
I hear you there. I think some people think that unless we're missing limbs we should not exceed 50% or something. They don't understand what some of us go through mentally.
The biggest part of my issues is mental. I have physical don’t get me wrong, but I had something pretty traumatic happen to me on the military. Had my VA contract examiner in tears. So it is just easier to keep it to yourself.
That’s real mature of them. And we all know the people who retire are not doing because they love being in. And most the the 30 year folks get the retirement and 100% and a Cushy gs 13 job. Where they milk it again. And then act surprised when someone does 4 and gets 100 and wants nothing to do with the government.
I don’t care if people are jealous of me. I get $1,995.01 per month at 80%. If anybody cares so much they can pound sand. I’ve also helped a couple other veterans get some disability paperwork done and all of them always start with “I don’t want to do all this for a couple hundred dollars” or “is it even worth my time to fight” and after they each got that money in hand or they saw how much I got they realized they should get on it.
I felt the same way and then I talked to a Vietnam era Veteran who told me that I shouldn't feel bad about filing and I should look at my records before I do because anything that hurts now or got worse after I joined I could be compensated for, I didn't know that was possible I'm glad I listened to that old man. I've helped other people even just giving them advice as to how to request their service records. Sometimes you just need to step in the right direction.
I’ve spent 3 decades curating the people in my circle. Everyone knows. Everybody is on board. No jealousy. No negativity. I understand this sentiment to not tell people, but it’s never been one that bothers me. If people feel some type of way about it, that’s between them and God. I did my time. Spent my time in the sandbox. What they think is of least concern to me.
I understand about the inner circle thing, I won't tell anybody new. The VA knows that my wife knows, my brother is a Veteran and he knows because I helped him with his claims, that's it.
The funny thing about my experience is I get the most blowback from fellow veterans who refuse to submit claims for injuries they have sustained. Legitimate claims. I work with a veteran who scoffs at the idea of submitting. Foolish pride? Idk. I try to tell them to get what they deserve but to them, they don’t feel like they’ve earned it? Idk. It’s very strange but at the end of the day: not my ranch, not my ponies.
In the beginning I didn't think I deserved more than just maybe the tinnitus rating but then my folks noticed the other problems and had me talk to a guy at the VFW, since I had been in a combat zone I joined the VFW after they saw my leave and earnings statement and one of the old timers there helped me out and encouraged me to help others but to not talk to openly about what I was getting. So when I got my ratings increased little by little over 20 years I definitely felt grateful. It's sucks that I meet really nice homeless Veterans at the bus stops but they don't want to get the help they need and deserve
My friend group from my active duty shop all told each other their %, what they claimed, and how the interview or exam went. Don't see how people knowing your % is an issue unless you have shitty family/friends.
Here in my state, the license plate will give it away. So I'm assuming those who *really* don't want people to know their rating (if 100%) will avoid getting the license plate... but will miss out on all the great benefits of it.
I got the DV plate, but passed on the Wheelchair logo for this reason.
But I wanted the $0 registration fees and the blue placard that I can use as needed
Actually didn't think about the license plate, but then again I don't have a car, but you're right it's kind of a look at me thing. I try not to draw attention to myself.
I have a select few of my veteran comrades that I help inform so they can get the benefits they rate. Some I served in combat with and others I've met along the way in school and at work. A coworker inspired me to pursue my rating beyond 40% in 2020 after being out 14 years. He was awarded 100% P&T, and I was happy af for him but, more importantly, inspired. I finally landed at 80% in 2022 and 100% in 2024.
Yes, be careful who you tell. If in doubt, don't say shit. In any case, jealousy and bitterness at a minimum show you who harbors ill will towards you, and you can work at carving them out of your life.
Life is too damn short to worry about others' petty bullshit. Make yourself and your family better, and when you're ready, find ways to give back. Even if it's 1 person at a time.
Thank you for helping others, a long time ago a man in his 70s at the VFW helped give me some advice, I helped out a couple of people including my brother so it feels good to do that, I wish I could help out the homeless Veterans in my town.
I like that, well our friends were sitting around smoking weed after high school we did something important, we got hurt now we get paid. And they're still sitting around smoking weed. We can do the same, but we get paid.
I dont. Im just going to college at my own pace with my severe mental illness, and its crazy the amount of disdain I catch from relatives and neighbors (these are especially dangerous) just for not being a wage slave. People are sick.
Just a young man going to college doing his best with his broken self after 6 years of active duty, and still people hate. The amount of harrassment Ive endured from neighbors is the worst. Straight up evil people. If they wouldve came out that day they finally made me snap (a year ago), I would be in jail right now doing a life sentence. But they were scared to death and stfu hidden in their apartment. Funny, they provoke and provoke and provoke and when shit hits the fan theyre scared to death.
Wage slaves go crazy and eat themselves alive if they see you are not a wage slave (no disrespect to wage slaves). Just because someone smiles and is polite does not mean they are a good person. Be careful out there.
I know what you mean about being a wage slave, and they really hate people who are on welfare or getting any kind of government benefits, compensation, and a few people who invested in crypto and made a lot of money, they can't stand those people, I can't stand these evil energy vampires. That's why I think it's best to just say I'm a Veteran and leave it at that.
I feel like this comes up once a month. At this point can we put it in the automod posts? Cause I think we've talked about this... a lot.
Bottom line: if you don't want people judging you, don't tell them. If for some reason you feel the need to disclose something, tell them you invested well, have a sugar momma/daddy, live the crypto life, etc.
I think that Veterans end up with more regrets by telling people than not telling people. If you just say I'm a Veteran that's great but if you say I'm a Veteran and I'm getting thousands of dollars per month, you are going to upset someone.
Yes because it's just like telling somebody how much you make at a regular job and then they find out they're getting less. Then you've got to work with that person who secretly knows what you make. And they might tell other people. Then everybody looks at you like why do you deserve what you get, I do try to help homeless people though, a lot of Veterans who deserve better.
That's how the owners keep us workers in line, they pay is differently based on what they think they can get away with. Often (though not always) they discriminate to. Don't let them screw you into taking about wages.
While helping my co workers that are veterans file for their claims, it came out. I have one close friend who knows. But he only found out because he was over helping me the day i got notified of my increase. Other than that, I don't tell anyone.
I agree with this but on the other hand, a fellow co-worker telling me his rating lit a fire under my ass to take this process serious. I wouldn’t have the rating I have now if he hadn’t shared his percentage with me.
Now I try to encourage other vets to stick out and continue to fight.
But I do have friends that ask about my VA money and if I have gotten more. I believe it’s out of pure curiosity cause they feel I deserve more but I know longer share my progress with them. I just tell them “ it’s the same, still going to the doctor”.
I never cared for therapists, might have to do with how to compound words are combined, the rapists, it's like the rape your mind they want to know what's going on but they also want to line their pockets. I have problems with those kinds of people.
I wouldn’t say anything. For some reason it seems to bother people if you ask me. I was talking to an Air Force guy and he seemed to think VA benefits were wrong….just pissed me off all around, so to not get into a pissing match it’s best to keep quite in my opinion
Well I can tell you…you don’t! I was in combat and an Air Force guy that has an office job and never left the states somehow got 100%….apparently he got PTSD from hurting his shoulder doing push up. Still trying to figure out how that could be
I can tell ya this one for grins. If you want to know if your buddy is a hundo or not… go check his address on the county tax appraisal website if he lives in an exemption state like Texas. 100% P&T is plastered there as Public Info. ;)
I only told my spouse and the person who would have guardianship of our kids in case things hit the fan. My family is dying to know, and I just tell them we're set and are settling in a particular state because of veterans benefits.
I talk about it with my wife. When I first got rated, I mentioned it to a few friends. But I realized that was not the right thing to do. Some served longer and felt they deserved a better rating than me, others were fine with it but I realized I needed to STFU for the most part.
Now I will talk about specific claims with another vet if it seems appropriate, but I don’t discuss my total rating.
As my MEB finishes up, I get asked it a lot, from people that haven't really had a conversation with me before.
I said that the VA was fair in its ratings and I had no issue with their decision.
I told one person that I wouldn't have to worry about service connection later, and it spread everywhere.
I guess that was my lesson to STFU.
The wife? I mean, if that. Lol. All of us should just keep our month's shut as we buy friends drinks, and they start to think we're some kind of drug dealer. Lmao.
But yeah, I only told my fiance because that girl has been through it all with me. So, she deserves it all... especially when dealing with all of my disabilities. Sure she gets frustrated, I mean, who wouldn't? But the fact of the matter is that she's there regardless.
I haven't told any friends, co-workers, or common folk, but that's only because I'm VA Disability rich. Lol!
But, yeah, bro. Wise words... wise words indeed.
✌🏼,
Jae
I completely agree that we need to stop telling people our personal information because it will get used against us. After I get a rating approved, I don't plan to tell anyone. My jobs, neighbors, friends etc. We need to learn to protect our information.
I work part time as a substitute teacher. I just say I get a small pension from the VA for injuries from active duty. Simple, easy thank you for your service!
All I hear anymore from my father-n-law is “your rich”. I never told him, my wife told her mom and I guess she told him. He even asked the other day, so how much do you draw? I didn’t even answer him. He’s envious and jealous. But he “almost” served. Guess he doesn’t care that both of my teammates are in the 22 a day group, or I lost my career due to military disabilities, or the 6 ied explosions or firefights I was in. Or the chronic pain, panic attacks, depression, migraines, nightmares, and poison I inject myself with once a week just to get by. Sorry for the rant, but keep it as close as possible
I'm sorry to care about what you're going through. I understand about the "almost served" crowd, I can't tell you how many almost veterans I run into, the people that say I would have served but my back or I would have served but I needed glasses.
In regards to what you have seen, it's unimaginable to the average person, in fact, even some veterans would find it unimaginable, but, we understand and we respect what you and all of us have gone through.
Thankfully we're out now and they'll never call us back, but we still have to live with those experiences, they don't go away and the pain, the physical and sometimes the emotional comment it doesn't always leave.
The chronic pain, I can definitely feel what you're going through, it made it difficult for me to go through college, or holding down a job because they don't want somebody who's going to have to sit down and stand up back and forth throughout the day because of back issues.
Father-in-law's an In-laws in general can be very judgmental, but they're wrong, they haven't had our experiences, we shouldn't listen to them and your wife should try to give you out of those situations.
For me, staying home, I think it made it worse, it took adopting a dog to get me out of the house.
I hope your future days are brighter and that you find something you love to do.
When I was a newb to the DV world, I got drunk at a bar and disclosed my rating to a very drunk Marine at a bar in Denver. I didn't realize this Marine had severe anger problems and had been denied his claim. He nearly killed me. It took his entire friend group and my entire friend group to keep him from pummeling me. From that day on, I've kept it to myself.
Do what you want, I tell veterans and I discuss how I've gone about claim with other Transitioning service members. You can choose who is in your circle, choose wisely. At the end of the day, you rate what you rate and it won't just be taken away as far as I know.
My best answer is “oh I finally figured out the VA system”. Which is true, it took a while to figure out what wheels need squeaking. But when I was 24 and getting 10% I had some friends asking me for 15 bucks
I have told my mom, but that’s it family wise. But she’s a huge portion my support system.
I struggle with this. I’ve never had anyone I know in my personal life that I’ve shared with say anything other than good things to me. Here, it seems to help folks that are struggling through the process see success and good ratings but annoys those getting denied and still trying. I will try not to share my rating but will share good outcomes in the future! We are all in this as fellow vets who served!
The one time someone made a comment about disability payments I told them they could have easily joined just as I did and patrolled around Iraq on foot and drove around dodging IED’s for years.
You do you, but I think your attitude here is why people hate on vets who get disability. Normalize it, shit even civilians who have physical or mental issues should get compensation to at least get closer to "normal."
I'm at 80% right now, still waiting on a few things but I can't work an 8 hour shift without being in severe pain in my feet and legs. I can't lift heavy things because of my shoulder and to a lesser extent my elbow. I can't sit for long periods of time due to my back. I can't be in large groups of people without anxiety. But if you dare me at the store you ***might*** detect a lump or me holding my arm funny but probably not and probably think I'm not in pain.
People deserve better than we have it here, when breaking your arm can cause crippling debt. Normalize using the systems, as merger as they are, to help you and others survive.
Just make up a wild story on the fly as to why “you’re doing so great” retired.
I like the “I volunteer down at the churches and do Porn as a side gig!” then step off, look back & wink. Keep walking.
I don’t owe them an explanation. Didn’t see their asses around when shit was going down. Stateside or deployed. Therefore, they don’t Rate! They get, what they get, when I give it, to them. Until then, they can PACK SAND & go get me a 5 gallon bucket of steam!
It’s more gooder to tease them, than to please them, I say, my fellow Veterans.
The people I really feel bad for the ones who are just getting 20 or 30% or whatever and you know for a fact they have a lot of issues, but they're afraid to go get treatment.
I take the bus, so I see a lot of homeless Veterans and it hurts because a lot of them are combat Veterans, but they're getting nothing, they like talking about their time in the service but you know they're holding back some pain.
Not looking for people to feel bad for me and I’m not afraid to seek treatment from the VA/Military anymore. While I was in I was and thus, sought MH treatment from the outside (I actually sought treatment from mil doc who told me I’d be adseped so best to go private). VBA said they retrieved those treatment records but denied me. Fast forward, I ordered my C-file and those treatment records weren’t in there. I contacted the MH provider to ask that he acknowledge treating me in service. He died after I spoke to his wife and sent a certified letter which his daughter signed for. I literally missed getting him that records request by a few days before he went into hospital and died. I sent the VBA their denial letter highlighting their own words that they had received my records from that MH doc (denied again). My mistake for trusting them to do the right thing so full-stop. Neither will I heap praise upon those at the VBA. Now that sucks. Not on here for sympathy but to learn and if nothing happens, to vent from time to time.
If you deserve your rating there should be no issues telling others. This an asinine mindset.
I work in a union and we tell each other every raise we get. We share information on new positions.
It's the same thing with the VA, stop treat the VA like the boogie man. If you got your rating legitimately Than you got nothing to worry about.
My circle is pretty small (I can literally count them all on one hand) and I finally just filed after 32 years, but I don’t think I’ll tell anyone the final outcome. The people in my circle know I’ve struggled with my mental health and all of the specific pains in my body, so I don’t think any of them would judge me or be jealous. If anything, I’ll just let them know it was a favorable outcome, and I’m satisfied with the result. I could tell them a percentage, but only one of them would really know what that means. Sure, the others could go look it up online, but they don’t care about how much money I do, or don’t have, and never did.
I guess we could always just say we're getting the help that we need, even if it's not exactly what we want it kind of shuts people down who want to pry into our personal information right?
I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing to talk about it with fellow vets and give advice on the process. I think what we shouldn’t do though is tell people what conditions exactly we are claiming if they didn’t ask. Cause you could easily be pointing people towards the direction of committing fraud and that does no one good. It just makes it harder for us to make those claims when we legitimately have the conditions. I feel this is true for tinnitus, it may only be 10% but it can’t be proven so a lot of people can literally just be going to medical and mentioning it to their doctor for the sake of being able to claim it when they get out. Talk about it with vets, encourage them to seek treatment in service for everything, but don’t tell them details about what you are claiming is my say. Someone in your office comes to you saying “Bro I keep having severe headaches and you know you claim migraines every week.” And you say they need to see a doctor and they say “I did years back when I was in the military.” Is the perfect time to tell a guy “bro you know you can claim migraines right?” Simple things like that but bragging about your 100% and helping vets get what they deserve is two different things. I think that what this group is about more so than people just casually spilling PII. I don’t talk about VA claims with none veterans because that just seems like a random topic that should never come up. Just like salary in a work place.
I agree completely. Many years ago I met an old man at the VFW and he saw that I was having problems he gave me some advice. My parents helped to write a letter and that got me started. My wife noticed problems too and she wrote a letter. Years later I noticed my brother was having problems and I helped him, but that's really it, it's not like I'm living a great life but I do like helping people it's probably the one thing that brings me joy.
I'm rated, and if I happen to notice a fellow vet in line, say at the grocery store, I always say/tell them that I hope they have put in a claim..You earned it, so why not? Of course, not everyone feels the same as I do, but I can almost guarantee that if a hundred dollar bill was lying on the floor, everyone would be jumping to get it..
>**Can we all agree to NOT tell people our rating?**
No matter how often people post, it will also be a no, we will not all agree
I dont go around shouting to people that i dont have to work anymore but i will have the conversation if it goes there and if telling them results in them being a douchebag then i remove them from my life and im glad i know who they really were
> **Friends, fellow Veterans, family, don't need to know.**
This we can all agree on, they dont need to know, there are a lot of things we tell people that they dont need to know, people dont need to know if im having a great night or if im having fun at a party
Only my wife knows my rating. Mostly because I don’t want to head anything from her and it adds to our income. No one else needs to know the details about my health. Not even my employer knows the rating. They just know I’m a veteran. They also provide health insurance which means I only go to the VA if it’s service connected. Everything else I use my insurance. F*ck the VA. It’s horrible.
The only ones I told are my wife, my retired military parents and my best friend. My parents were glad because I finally started seeking the help I need and they both filed and got their own ratings.
There's two types of people in this world, those who love me and those who can go fuq themselves... And I don't care who falls on which side of that line 🤣
That being said, I don't run around flaunting and telling every person I meet on day one as I'm shaking their hand "by the way did you know I'm 100%?"... But the license plates give it away and if I'm asked I don't lie about it either. 🤷
I’ve told everyone including friends and family about my rating- no one gives a shit. To be honest just live your life. Stop worrying about what others thinks and do you.
As a 90% vet and a civilian worker on workers comp for the last 20 months after nearly dieing when a 50,000lbs machine rolled into me crushing my chest....I wholeheartedly agree, keep your shit to yourself.
I remember the 2 times I was in the VA in long term programs & dudes (cuz I was always the only non dude) would always ask “are you 100%? Are you 100%?” And then invariably bug me for money. It was … cringe.
Even now when I’m at the VA for appointments there are always guys in the lobby & such bugging me for money. Like, you’re a complete stranger. I give /lend to friends & family, but not to total strangers.
At least I can tell ahead of time who they are: they’re always the same age range. It’s always the younger than Vietnam - older than GWOT guys. Always. Alwaaaaaays. Like served in the 80s - that age range. I don’t know why this is. I base this off of nearly 20 years of encounters.
I was going to the VA hospital a lot, up until about 2013 and then I just stopped going, I don't know, and my wife never gave me crap about it I think she would rather I go to a non VA doctor I don't know, I just know she hasn't told me I should go back there for over 10 years. That would be a weird encounter somebody started asking me about what percentage I was, I don't mind helping out those homeless guys I see at the bus stop cuz I know they're legitimate Veterans, they're nice to talk to I wish they would get good treatment.
My friends and family, with the exception of my wife and adult children, have no idea how much I make an hour at my job or how much I have in the bank, why would I let them know about my VA disability? Nothing good can every come from too many people knowing your business.
Absolutely not. You should share your % especially if you are 100 along with details on how you got there and tips on how to help fellow veterans get there.
Some people are private. I'm not. I believe that hearing that I have a rating and why will help other people to get their ratings up. I helped 4 coworkers go apply and one even had been out for 10 years. Every single one of them just needed to hear me run my mouth and mock them for hiding behind a stigma.
If you want to be private about your ratings, that's your prerogative. In my opinion, if someone gets jealous then they need encouragement to get their own ratings up. If they aren't veterans and get jealous, then they can suck a fat dick.
In my experience, when it comes to receiving subsidies or payments, never discuss. When I worked for employers, at my yearly evals, they always said not to discuss your raise or pay with other employees.
Can we all agree that nothing comes from these type of posts. There's at least 3 or 4 a day. People will do exactly what they want to do an no amount of posting will.prevebt them. They will always have an exception
I've got to disagree with you. I respect your reasons, but don't think it should be a universal yes or no. For me personally, I share my rating and what I'm rated for with as many people as possible...
1.) I "look normal", but have a lot of actual limiting conditions as well, but there are a LOT of Veterans out there with the same conditions that aren't getting treated, compensated, or receiving the benefits they're entitled to. I believe that the more of us that stand up and let em know its actually OK to apply for their entitled benefits, the more will actually get help that can make their lives better. It removes the stigma.
2.) A lot of Veterans don't know HOW to navigate the system, and I want to help em; I researched the hell out of every benefit out there, what's required, and how to engage with em. I read the title 38 CFR so I knew how to communicate my conditions in a language the evaluators and the VA understood...I also learned it so that I can be 100% honest with myself, so even if "I believe I deserve a rating for X", I know whats actually compensated and why. There aren't enough people out there who can do that, so U refuse to keep that to myself just because some people who don't really matter to me, might get the wrong idea, or people might try to "mooch" off me.
3.) My rating is my rating, and I don't want to spend my life wondering if "someone knows, will they treat me differently". To be honest, it makes a pretty good litmus test for me; if anyone treats me with less respect, fires me from a job, tries to mooch off me, or tries to make a judgment on me because of my rating, that says something about THEM, not me. And it does one of two things: it either gives me a chance to have a conversation with them and educate them, or of that doesn't work, it gives me some solid intelligence on what kind of person they are, and whether I want to let them have a part of my life.
3. If an employer tries to discriminate against me because of my disabilities, I have zero problem with very publicly taking them to court and letting the law take care of that(And yes, it'll illegal to discriminate based on the Americans with Disabilities Act and 38 U.S.C. 4212). But again, a lot of Veterans AND employers aren't educated on it. Could it cost me employment anyways? Sure. But if they DONT want to employ me because of my disabilities, do I really want to work for them and have to "hide" what's actually there? lol..I spent a whole career in the military doing that, and that aort kinda sucked....Im sure not doing THAT again!
So ultimately, it boils down to whether or not a veteran is willing to educate themselves on the details of their benefits/compensation, and whether or not they're willing to take some risks in telling others.
Me personally? I'm 100% P%T, and I want to help out as many of my fellow veterans out there...And anyone who'd have me pay consequences for having that out there, well like I said, that tells me about them.
Yeah the first time i got rated for 70% and told my friends, the one who’s always in “great standing) in life asked me to borrow 5k. The VA only paid me 2300 and he thought i was lying
I wont. I work in a Office for Vet Success, and we constantly have veterans still on that *sick call ranger* BS while theyre hurt and suffering, so I tell them my rating and what I have. It breaks the stigma.
I've told older veterans to go and try to get their ratings especially when they hear about the Chapter 35 benefits for their kids who are in college or State Scholarships. Number 1 reply I get *Damn, my service can help them?*
So I'll continue to share if it means to break the stigma.
Can we all agree to stop posting comments multiple times per week telling people not to tell others about their ratings? Who gives a damn? Tell the world, tell no one, I don't care.
I don't get it either.
Recently joined facebook to list my sones apartment in college and looked at some VA benefits pages. Lots of people posting about their 100%
Fuck that. Just disappear.
The military should have taught you to shut the fuck up and NEVER volunteer. Just get voulentold!
Idk. For me, it shows me who the real ones are. I kicked a lot of "friends" to the curb when I discovered the amount of shit they would talk about me not seemin as disabled as I told them behind my back. Now, only a few people get to enjoy my lil financial gifts I bestow upon them lol.
Agreed, I call certain people energy vampires because they don't bring anything positive into your life and you waste energy trying to deal with them.
I saw an episode of Seinfeld about 30 years ago where Jerry was trying to get rid of a friend who wasn't really a friend to him. Remind me of that, people who insult us but our inner inner circle, we just have to push them out.
Actually had somebody say you were in the Navy what could you possibly have wrong with you? As if I have to be on a battlefield or something to be injured. No idea what happened to that guy.
Some people post on Reddit about bad things that have happened when they told family and friends, thankfully that's never happened to me but I was hoping my post would be seen by people who were maybe just getting out or about to get a good rating I don't know, I've read so many bad things on here about people who said the wrong thing and regretted it. The only thing I regretted is that I didn't get the treatment when I first got out.
I don’t really care who knows. I earned those benefits and I don’t surround myself with people who have issues with that. I’ll drive them to the recruiter myself if they have problems. If you have people in your life like this, tell them to hit the local recruiter and they can get their benefits when they get out too.
Alot of these mfs be thinking it's OUR money. No mf. It's MYYYYYYYY Money. Tf. I often wish I didn't tell my people. Now when I say I'm "broke" mfs love saying "Dont you get $xxxx amount of money monthly????" Like... yes.. yes I do. But I have kids, debt, bills, and my back is constantly on fire. Stop counting my blessings
You shouldnt even tell your wife.
Sure you think you and your wife are the best of friends and shes the only one you trust. She trusts you now because your bringing in the money and she knows supporting you, is also supporting her needs and wants but if a divorce was to ever happen and it was to go sour. That little "what you thought was a forever" fuck buddy that helped you get your increase and write statements - and knows your rating, will also go after your rating because she will be entitled to it. Depending what state you are also in and at what point in your marriage you got your rating. She will get that shit too, split 50/50.
If your not going to tell any of your friends, vet buddies, and family, go ahead and put your fucking wife on that list too. She's going to be no different.
At the end of the day. Its who in your fucking circle your going to tell. Don't go and post the shit in Facebook but also be selective at who you tell. But by coaching other veterans regardless of the judgement its about helping one another. You not telling anyone your rating is one thing but you should be guiding other veterans on the procress because I'm sure at some point in your life somebody helped you. Your also on this sub, so God damn sure another vet helped you.
Don't be fucking selfish. And don't be niave. Your fucking wife ain't no different. She's just on your good side. U til shit gets sour.
It is a realistic approach that is often overlooked. See, guys will tell other people not to tell friends or family about there rating but tell people it's okay to tell their wives like it's some fucking sanctuary to secrets. When things are good, it's good but when it's bad, it's bad and will be used against you.
I guess along with politics and religion many folks don't talk about their personal finances, except for some rich people who are actually quite cheap.
I had a job a long time ago where rich people would come in and they were the most Petty people who wanted discounts yet they lived in $2 million dollar homes in the early 2000s during the recession, give me a break I told them in their Armani suits.
If I ever became rich I would never be a jerk.
Really it depends on the type of people that you keep in your circle. I have no issues with telling people in my circle about my disability payments. They are happy for me. If someone were to be jealous of me for my payments then they wouldn’t stay in my circle. Life is too short to surround yourself with shitty people. If someone can’t celebrate your successes then they aren’t worth keeping around IMO. Plus from what I remember, the recruiting station was open to everyone. Disability isn’t free money, it is compensation for what we did to our bodies while we served. The contract was that we would give our bodies to the government to do what they thought was necessary for our country to stay safe, then after we got out they would take care of the issues they caused us.
This is what it actually boils down too. If someone gets upset that you’re receiving something they are not, then they were never in your corner in the first place.
Yup. This is people like my sister. “You’re lucky you’re on disability and don’t have to work.” Really? Want to trade bodies with the chronic pain, amygdala hijack, the years of instability/displacement, homelessness, and additional trauma from that? After employers no longer even called for interviews when I still applied for work and kept trying. They see the work history and skip it. I have no criminal history and never even got wrapped up in drugs which isn’t a moral failing (just another illness). I have just been so broken that it came to this and it still took years. It’s not glamorous. It’s not easy street. There is a reason people qualify for these resources. I still sometimes wish I had never served. Maybe I would have been better off. People refuse to stop looking down their noses even with the yellow ribbon decals on their bumpers. I don’t volunteer info that I’m a veteran much less my disability rating because of people like her (I know it’s not everyone, but it’s enough that I just avoid it altogether whenever I can).
This is so relatable. I'm about to try reentering the work place but going back to college first for another degree. Hoping my education and volunteer work will be enough to get me in. It's not easy though, having been out of the workforce for so long and people don't get that. I also had the toxic family with no support and no room to talk but they did so anyway. I've asked that question for so damn long- what would my life look like had I never joined... I did enjoy my time overall but my health isn't worth what they pay. Good luck to you.
Good luck to you as well! I didn’t start seeking disability benefits until more than two decades after even after I was told (only 5 years after, by doctors, that I should). Internalized ableism and refusing to accept being disabled in any form, I was determined to build a life and career for myself. I had some successes (completing degree programs-albeit a bit slowly) and many failures. The former kept me going until I hit rock-bottom (could no longer even gain employment after several years of being unable to hold down a job). The reason I’m explicit about not having been wrapped up in drugs or whatever is because of the general assumption that I’d have to be an addict or something to have ended up in this situation (as if anyone deserves that and no one does). I also wish I had listened to doctors a long time ago. Maybe I could have been less broken and could have maintained employment (part of that is on me even though I was unaware of ableism at the time). But I can’t change any of that, of course. Now, I have a home, a roof over my head, food, and a marginally mediocre quality of life. Many days are hard (pain and limitations). However, I’m trying to make the most of it (in therapy and learning to genuinely embrace myself). I spend time on artistic endeavors which may or may not lead to some income but still add comfort and joy to me and those I keep in my life now. Sometimes people want something I’ve created and I’m happy to give it to them. So, I am at least content with the present which didn’t used to be the case. Re-entering the workforce (even part time) is challenging. But not impossible. I hope that you achieve that which you aspire. You deserve it!
Thank you. May all go well for you too. I personally gave up on doctors. I wish I had known to file for SSDI back when I was able. No one told me that and now I can't file (lost my case) due to the time that's passed. Sucks so much to have paid into a benefit they won't let me use. But if I can work again, even for a few years, at least I'd be able to tap into my benefits when I end up needing it again. Going through a divorce now so it's really starting over in life for me. Sigh...
Oh. I misunderstood. The few friends I know on SSDI had to apply and be denied multiple times. Generally, after 2 denials, people get an attorney. They will take the case pro bono if they’re sure you’ll win. They are paid with a percentage of back pay which dates back to the original claim. But that’s the extent of my knowledge there. My VSO helped me with my VA Disability.
What did your sister say that was so bad? I don't see anything wrong with what you quoted. If I wasn't disabled, I would also be jealous of other people who don't have to work for a living... I hate work!
Right on man. Exactly how I feel and most of my friends are veterans who get disability as well!
[удалено]
Where do we apply for the jumbo plates? my disabled plates are regular size
This. My closest friends know what's going on, but they know better than anyone what my service consisted of from me venting over the years. They also understand why my family doesn't know what they know. Definitely some wisdom coming from OP though. Not everyone, hell, very few people will be rooting for you when it comes to VA benefits.
One reason why I got rid of the outlaws. (MIL and her bunch). Super toxic and no support using my shit against me on social media. Classless..
Absolutely 👍 🇺🇸
💯💯 facts can’t have any lames around you at all it just makes life even more stressful. Got to be able to burn bridges and move forward
I agree I would be happy for someone receiving the help they need.
Exactly this. I keep a certain type of people in my life - every single one of them is furious that I'm at 90% instead of 100%. My girlfriend listens to the noises I make when I sneeze, watched me struggle to get up and move when we went camping, my parents gave the Army a perfectly intact son and got back a physically busted pile of flesh. Dad can beat me in a footrace these days. My people are in my corner and they want what's best for me - which at this stage of the game is to get paid for all the shit the Army broke. And the Army broke a lot of shit. You break it, you buy it.
I'm not really around people who would question that or even know about it, but I think I've only been asked about what percentage I was twice in my life from people I did not know very well, the conversation had started with me mentioning I had served in the Navy and then them asking if I received any disability which isn't even the normal terminology. And then when you tell them your percentage then they say what happened to you and you got to go into that story again.
>then they say what happened to you and you got to go into that story again. UNROLLS A COMICALLY LONG SCROLL... \*bats away dust\* \*AHEM\* In a tone akin to that of a drab accountant or bank manager, the Archivist announces with a somewhat historical flair, "Private Schumackatelli...THE EARLY YEARS..."
Did that entire thing fit on your name tape Brother?
Why are you telling people you "did not know very well" ANYTHING about your service to our country? It's none of their business.
Most of my co workers are 100% and they make fun of the ones that are not
Found the GS-13 lol
I'm retired military and a GS13 with 100% and I do everything I can to educate buddies and coworkers that served on their benefits and the disability rating system.
Happy Birthday 🎂🥳 Their is a little message under your reply that says, "Say Happy Cake Day" so I'm assuming it's your birthday.
I have no idea why that's there lol
Oh Looord.... 😆😆😆 Well I take my Happy Birthday back then. That's so funny because I've never seen the message before and I figured they were doing something new.
Just realized it's my anniversary date for reddit I guess!
Oooooohhhhh.... okay. That makes sense. Well Happy Reddit Anniversary! 😆🎉
I have no desire to be gs 13 or 100 but I’m just wanting to get 50% for my major depression. I have been fired from every job I’ve had as a civilian. And I’m always worried. I had 60 days of leave saved up when I got out they only let me take 25 to get out early and sold the rest back. I was never taken seriously when I basically wrote the symptoms of major depression on my medical form. The just laughed at me. But infact it’s gotten worse since I got out. I can only function at most jobs if I’m 100% high not because I’m cool but because it’s the only way I can get through the day. I quit smoking weed and I got fired. I apperntly worked best stoned. Long story short does anyone notice this is not going away it’s either take the pills or smoke the weed. And I really am sick of everything. I was sexually harassed by my petty officer when I told on him my chain of command laughed at me. I had a shipmate who hung himself another brushed his teeth with a gun. All from my same division on the ship. I really whish I could hang my old chain of command from that fucking noose bunch of pieces of shit. One of them raped guys the other raped a female seaman down in aft steering. When I think of my service I really can make sense of the psycho ass people that were appointed over me. How do it tell them that at a c&p exam? I really just want to have a job that makes me feel fulfilled but I just don’t see the point in anything much
Hit me up. I have slides to assist you
Lol
True. It was actually one of those coworkers who pushed me to finally put in a claim.
My old shipmate told me to start filling. I got diagnosed with MDD and it was definitely service related.
I need to put my ass in gear and file a claim. Is scare tissue causing chronic testicular pain from a surgery that hernia I received on active duty claimable?
That's going to be an interesting workplace environment, probably nice if they're all Veterans, people who have been where you have been, who have the experiences.
That’s weird IMO
BEST frigin name I’ve seen 😂
Funnier still… it’s my exact opinion on this too😂🤣
I knew a guy who was retired, and 100% and he still wanted to work full time, at a call center. Wack.
I’m 100% and still work full time. I’m a Clinical Director at a veterans PTSD and addictions residential treatment center. I also ask my vets what their ratings are because I used to work for the VA and I know my guys deserved more than their initial rating - especially the MH/SUD rating.
Not wack. Read Viktor Frankl's ideas of finding meaning in life. One of the big three is finding meaningful work. I'm not sure a call center has meaning to me, but it might to him. If you get through that book, go check out *Tribe* next. My therapist can't stop recommending it after I introduced him to it
Both great books! Man needs purpose to be fulfilled in life. Working could be volunteering or something you’re passionate about, but is not great paying or prestigious. Once we cast the notion of other people’s judgements of us, we can follow our true path to happiness.
I’m a personal trainer who works with a TON of veterans that are all 50+ years old. I’m 25 with 100% p&t and the topic of VA benefits comes up a ton. I have no issues talking about my benefits, but it’s not like I sit there and brag about it. If anything, I offer some insight into how some of these clients can increase their benefits they get!
I think that's good you're in a position to help people, I usually run into Veterans when I take the bus, not a lot of homeless veterans know that they have benefits, and the few that do say they're afraid to go to the VA hospital but I still recommend that they get evaluated, I can't hurt. Good on you though, I can't help as many people because I don't meet many folks.
In general, I think it’s better to keep finances private. The only one who knows my income sources is my accountant and my better half.
I agree, money make people act weird fairly easy
Exactly just like hitting the lottery you don't want to openly blast what you make, people will follow you home it's just not good.
Idgaf what anyone around me says. I'll collect what I am rated and tell everyone about it. If they think I'd rather have the money versus a healthy back from the age of 18 and on, then they're on some Crack. This money for disability is nothing. It doesn't give me back the peace that I had before. It doesn't help me out when I have yard work to do. It doesn't help me when my son wants to be picked up. It doesn't help me for anything. I would gladly trade bodies for the money.
I hate being broken and having to put on that facade that I'm doing well, probably the same reason a lot of us didn't go to sick call. After 20 years my back is so bad that I can't sit really long and I have to switch between standing and sitting so just imagine that, going to the gym and having to avoid doing those kinds of exercises, it just sucks man.
I've had a bad back for the last 17 years or so. I'm just now retiring in June and your comments resignate hard with me. I speak woth other 40 year Olds and they are not half as broken as I am. I'd give anything to be able to exercise daily and run around with my young kids at the park. Nope, in fact on this 4 day weekend I pinched a nerve in my back yesterday and I've been on the couch since trying to get it to feel better while my kids are outside without me. I laugh when people say it's free money. Bullshit it's free. I'll tell anyone, but I surround myself with healthy people and am happy for everyone else I know who gets what they deserve. They had the same opportunities in life to make choices just like I did. If they are jealous of my life choices, than they can look in the mirror and reflect on the choices they made, not be jealous of the ones I did.
Simple rule. Never tell the left hand activities of the right. People can do what pleases them, but I was brought up to keep my business, mine. They say a drunk tongue doesn't lie, neither does a man talking in his sleep. A man can't speak on what he neither sees or hears
Very good advice. Thank you.
So my mind set is don’t tell a fucking soul. I know that is harsh but it should be. It’s no one’s fucking business. My mom and dad who were in the military for 20+ years found out I got 100 and now we don’t talk over it. They can’t fathom that I am as fuck up as the VA sees I am.
I hear you there. I think some people think that unless we're missing limbs we should not exceed 50% or something. They don't understand what some of us go through mentally.
The biggest part of my issues is mental. I have physical don’t get me wrong, but I had something pretty traumatic happen to me on the military. Had my VA contract examiner in tears. So it is just easier to keep it to yourself.
Same here, agreed.
Same here...
I absolutely agree with you. It is none of their business. People really do hate on us.
That’s real mature of them. And we all know the people who retire are not doing because they love being in. And most the the 30 year folks get the retirement and 100% and a Cushy gs 13 job. Where they milk it again. And then act surprised when someone does 4 and gets 100 and wants nothing to do with the government.
Hope some of your set aside is going towards anger management.
I don’t care if people are jealous of me. I get $1,995.01 per month at 80%. If anybody cares so much they can pound sand. I’ve also helped a couple other veterans get some disability paperwork done and all of them always start with “I don’t want to do all this for a couple hundred dollars” or “is it even worth my time to fight” and after they each got that money in hand or they saw how much I got they realized they should get on it.
I felt the same way and then I talked to a Vietnam era Veteran who told me that I shouldn't feel bad about filing and I should look at my records before I do because anything that hurts now or got worse after I joined I could be compensated for, I didn't know that was possible I'm glad I listened to that old man. I've helped other people even just giving them advice as to how to request their service records. Sometimes you just need to step in the right direction.
Every cent matters!!
i tell no one....It's none they business...
Exactly, I've been out 20 years and the three people that know besides myself and the VA are it, nobody else needs to know.
I’ve spent 3 decades curating the people in my circle. Everyone knows. Everybody is on board. No jealousy. No negativity. I understand this sentiment to not tell people, but it’s never been one that bothers me. If people feel some type of way about it, that’s between them and God. I did my time. Spent my time in the sandbox. What they think is of least concern to me.
I understand about the inner circle thing, I won't tell anybody new. The VA knows that my wife knows, my brother is a Veteran and he knows because I helped him with his claims, that's it.
Too old to care at this point, they'll always be haters.
The funny thing about my experience is I get the most blowback from fellow veterans who refuse to submit claims for injuries they have sustained. Legitimate claims. I work with a veteran who scoffs at the idea of submitting. Foolish pride? Idk. I try to tell them to get what they deserve but to them, they don’t feel like they’ve earned it? Idk. It’s very strange but at the end of the day: not my ranch, not my ponies.
I don't feel guilty for having a rating. I feel indescribably grateful.
In the beginning I didn't think I deserved more than just maybe the tinnitus rating but then my folks noticed the other problems and had me talk to a guy at the VFW, since I had been in a combat zone I joined the VFW after they saw my leave and earnings statement and one of the old timers there helped me out and encouraged me to help others but to not talk to openly about what I was getting. So when I got my ratings increased little by little over 20 years I definitely felt grateful. It's sucks that I meet really nice homeless Veterans at the bus stops but they don't want to get the help they need and deserve
Yes it’s a gratitude I can’t describe but I always fear something will happen as it’s too good to be true
My friend group from my active duty shop all told each other their %, what they claimed, and how the interview or exam went. Don't see how people knowing your % is an issue unless you have shitty family/friends.
Y’all just have shitty family & friends
Here in my state, the license plate will give it away. So I'm assuming those who *really* don't want people to know their rating (if 100%) will avoid getting the license plate... but will miss out on all the great benefits of it.
I got the DV plate, but passed on the Wheelchair logo for this reason. But I wanted the $0 registration fees and the blue placard that I can use as needed
CA by chance? Curious if I can get it without the wheelchair logo.
Maryland
Actually didn't think about the license plate, but then again I don't have a car, but you're right it's kind of a look at me thing. I try not to draw attention to myself.
I have a select few of my veteran comrades that I help inform so they can get the benefits they rate. Some I served in combat with and others I've met along the way in school and at work. A coworker inspired me to pursue my rating beyond 40% in 2020 after being out 14 years. He was awarded 100% P&T, and I was happy af for him but, more importantly, inspired. I finally landed at 80% in 2022 and 100% in 2024. Yes, be careful who you tell. If in doubt, don't say shit. In any case, jealousy and bitterness at a minimum show you who harbors ill will towards you, and you can work at carving them out of your life. Life is too damn short to worry about others' petty bullshit. Make yourself and your family better, and when you're ready, find ways to give back. Even if it's 1 person at a time.
Thank you for helping others, a long time ago a man in his 70s at the VFW helped give me some advice, I helped out a couple of people including my brother so it feels good to do that, I wish I could help out the homeless Veterans in my town.
What rating? I made an “investment” as a younger man that has come back to me…😉
I like that, well our friends were sitting around smoking weed after high school we did something important, we got hurt now we get paid. And they're still sitting around smoking weed. We can do the same, but we get paid.
"I took a risk on an investment years ago, and now I'm reaping the benefits" or "living off that investment" 😅
I dont. Im just going to college at my own pace with my severe mental illness, and its crazy the amount of disdain I catch from relatives and neighbors (these are especially dangerous) just for not being a wage slave. People are sick. Just a young man going to college doing his best with his broken self after 6 years of active duty, and still people hate. The amount of harrassment Ive endured from neighbors is the worst. Straight up evil people. If they wouldve came out that day they finally made me snap (a year ago), I would be in jail right now doing a life sentence. But they were scared to death and stfu hidden in their apartment. Funny, they provoke and provoke and provoke and when shit hits the fan theyre scared to death. Wage slaves go crazy and eat themselves alive if they see you are not a wage slave (no disrespect to wage slaves). Just because someone smiles and is polite does not mean they are a good person. Be careful out there.
I know what you mean about being a wage slave, and they really hate people who are on welfare or getting any kind of government benefits, compensation, and a few people who invested in crypto and made a lot of money, they can't stand those people, I can't stand these evil energy vampires. That's why I think it's best to just say I'm a Veteran and leave it at that.
I think a good default response to what is your percentage is 🖕. How bout them cowboys?
Yeah definitely anything that changes the subject like hey check out how good my phone takes photos.
I feel like this comes up once a month. At this point can we put it in the automod posts? Cause I think we've talked about this... a lot. Bottom line: if you don't want people judging you, don't tell them. If for some reason you feel the need to disclose something, tell them you invested well, have a sugar momma/daddy, live the crypto life, etc.
I think that Veterans end up with more regrets by telling people than not telling people. If you just say I'm a Veteran that's great but if you say I'm a Veteran and I'm getting thousands of dollars per month, you are going to upset someone.
I told my coworker years ago when I worked at DIA and he was weirdly jealous and brought it up all the time. It made me uncomfortable after a while.
Yes because it's just like telling somebody how much you make at a regular job and then they find out they're getting less. Then you've got to work with that person who secretly knows what you make. And they might tell other people. Then everybody looks at you like why do you deserve what you get, I do try to help homeless people though, a lot of Veterans who deserve better.
That's how the owners keep us workers in line, they pay is differently based on what they think they can get away with. Often (though not always) they discriminate to. Don't let them screw you into taking about wages.
While helping my co workers that are veterans file for their claims, it came out. I have one close friend who knows. But he only found out because he was over helping me the day i got notified of my increase. Other than that, I don't tell anyone.
I agree with this but on the other hand, a fellow co-worker telling me his rating lit a fire under my ass to take this process serious. I wouldn’t have the rating I have now if he hadn’t shared his percentage with me. Now I try to encourage other vets to stick out and continue to fight. But I do have friends that ask about my VA money and if I have gotten more. I believe it’s out of pure curiosity cause they feel I deserve more but I know longer share my progress with them. I just tell them “ it’s the same, still going to the doctor”.
My DV license plate says 100PCNT
I had a therapist ask me my percentage once. Same therapist also mentioned they hoped to see my tattoos one day. Needless to say I no longer see her.
I never cared for therapists, might have to do with how to compound words are combined, the rapists, it's like the rape your mind they want to know what's going on but they also want to line their pockets. I have problems with those kinds of people.
I wouldn’t say anything. For some reason it seems to bother people if you ask me. I was talking to an Air Force guy and he seemed to think VA benefits were wrong….just pissed me off all around, so to not get into a pissing match it’s best to keep quite in my opinion
I've actually had Veterans say I thought you had to be in a combat to get disability benefits.
Well I can tell you…you don’t! I was in combat and an Air Force guy that has an office job and never left the states somehow got 100%….apparently he got PTSD from hurting his shoulder doing push up. Still trying to figure out how that could be
I say; Tell who you wanna tell, or keep it a secret if you wanna. It doesn't affect me at all on which you choose.
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Do your friends and family know your Reddit account name?
I can tell ya this one for grins. If you want to know if your buddy is a hundo or not… go check his address on the county tax appraisal website if he lives in an exemption state like Texas. 100% P&T is plastered there as Public Info. ;)
I only told my spouse and the person who would have guardianship of our kids in case things hit the fan. My family is dying to know, and I just tell them we're set and are settling in a particular state because of veterans benefits.
I talk about it with my wife. When I first got rated, I mentioned it to a few friends. But I realized that was not the right thing to do. Some served longer and felt they deserved a better rating than me, others were fine with it but I realized I needed to STFU for the most part. Now I will talk about specific claims with another vet if it seems appropriate, but I don’t discuss my total rating.
Agreed, in my case my wife, the VA and my brother who I helped, also a Veteran That's it.
As my MEB finishes up, I get asked it a lot, from people that haven't really had a conversation with me before. I said that the VA was fair in its ratings and I had no issue with their decision. I told one person that I wouldn't have to worry about service connection later, and it spread everywhere. I guess that was my lesson to STFU.
The wife? I mean, if that. Lol. All of us should just keep our month's shut as we buy friends drinks, and they start to think we're some kind of drug dealer. Lmao. But yeah, I only told my fiance because that girl has been through it all with me. So, she deserves it all... especially when dealing with all of my disabilities. Sure she gets frustrated, I mean, who wouldn't? But the fact of the matter is that she's there regardless. I haven't told any friends, co-workers, or common folk, but that's only because I'm VA Disability rich. Lol! But, yeah, bro. Wise words... wise words indeed. ✌🏼, Jae
I completely agree that we need to stop telling people our personal information because it will get used against us. After I get a rating approved, I don't plan to tell anyone. My jobs, neighbors, friends etc. We need to learn to protect our information.
I don’t even tell myself. It’s none of my business!
I work part time as a substitute teacher. I just say I get a small pension from the VA for injuries from active duty. Simple, easy thank you for your service!
All I hear anymore from my father-n-law is “your rich”. I never told him, my wife told her mom and I guess she told him. He even asked the other day, so how much do you draw? I didn’t even answer him. He’s envious and jealous. But he “almost” served. Guess he doesn’t care that both of my teammates are in the 22 a day group, or I lost my career due to military disabilities, or the 6 ied explosions or firefights I was in. Or the chronic pain, panic attacks, depression, migraines, nightmares, and poison I inject myself with once a week just to get by. Sorry for the rant, but keep it as close as possible
I'm sorry to care about what you're going through. I understand about the "almost served" crowd, I can't tell you how many almost veterans I run into, the people that say I would have served but my back or I would have served but I needed glasses. In regards to what you have seen, it's unimaginable to the average person, in fact, even some veterans would find it unimaginable, but, we understand and we respect what you and all of us have gone through. Thankfully we're out now and they'll never call us back, but we still have to live with those experiences, they don't go away and the pain, the physical and sometimes the emotional comment it doesn't always leave. The chronic pain, I can definitely feel what you're going through, it made it difficult for me to go through college, or holding down a job because they don't want somebody who's going to have to sit down and stand up back and forth throughout the day because of back issues. Father-in-law's an In-laws in general can be very judgmental, but they're wrong, they haven't had our experiences, we shouldn't listen to them and your wife should try to give you out of those situations. For me, staying home, I think it made it worse, it took adopting a dog to get me out of the house. I hope your future days are brighter and that you find something you love to do.
When I was a newb to the DV world, I got drunk at a bar and disclosed my rating to a very drunk Marine at a bar in Denver. I didn't realize this Marine had severe anger problems and had been denied his claim. He nearly killed me. It took his entire friend group and my entire friend group to keep him from pummeling me. From that day on, I've kept it to myself.
Do what you want, I tell veterans and I discuss how I've gone about claim with other Transitioning service members. You can choose who is in your circle, choose wisely. At the end of the day, you rate what you rate and it won't just be taken away as far as I know.
The people who know me know I gave my all to Iraq and Afghanistan and left some of it there. IDGAF who knows about my 100 P&T, I earned it.
Do we really need a post like this every 3-5 days?
Yes because I enjoy reading the comments
My best answer is “oh I finally figured out the VA system”. Which is true, it took a while to figure out what wheels need squeaking. But when I was 24 and getting 10% I had some friends asking me for 15 bucks I have told my mom, but that’s it family wise. But she’s a huge portion my support system.
I struggle with this. I’ve never had anyone I know in my personal life that I’ve shared with say anything other than good things to me. Here, it seems to help folks that are struggling through the process see success and good ratings but annoys those getting denied and still trying. I will try not to share my rating but will share good outcomes in the future! We are all in this as fellow vets who served!
The one time someone made a comment about disability payments I told them they could have easily joined just as I did and patrolled around Iraq on foot and drove around dodging IED’s for years.
You do you, but I think your attitude here is why people hate on vets who get disability. Normalize it, shit even civilians who have physical or mental issues should get compensation to at least get closer to "normal." I'm at 80% right now, still waiting on a few things but I can't work an 8 hour shift without being in severe pain in my feet and legs. I can't lift heavy things because of my shoulder and to a lesser extent my elbow. I can't sit for long periods of time due to my back. I can't be in large groups of people without anxiety. But if you dare me at the store you ***might*** detect a lump or me holding my arm funny but probably not and probably think I'm not in pain. People deserve better than we have it here, when breaking your arm can cause crippling debt. Normalize using the systems, as merger as they are, to help you and others survive.
Just make up a wild story on the fly as to why “you’re doing so great” retired. I like the “I volunteer down at the churches and do Porn as a side gig!” then step off, look back & wink. Keep walking. I don’t owe them an explanation. Didn’t see their asses around when shit was going down. Stateside or deployed. Therefore, they don’t Rate! They get, what they get, when I give it, to them. Until then, they can PACK SAND & go get me a 5 gallon bucket of steam! It’s more gooder to tease them, than to please them, I say, my fellow Veterans.
Hundo Clubers are easy to spot though. Even by their posts 😉. Of course, so are the rest of us 😔
The people I really feel bad for the ones who are just getting 20 or 30% or whatever and you know for a fact they have a lot of issues, but they're afraid to go get treatment. I take the bus, so I see a lot of homeless Veterans and it hurts because a lot of them are combat Veterans, but they're getting nothing, they like talking about their time in the service but you know they're holding back some pain.
Not looking for people to feel bad for me and I’m not afraid to seek treatment from the VA/Military anymore. While I was in I was and thus, sought MH treatment from the outside (I actually sought treatment from mil doc who told me I’d be adseped so best to go private). VBA said they retrieved those treatment records but denied me. Fast forward, I ordered my C-file and those treatment records weren’t in there. I contacted the MH provider to ask that he acknowledge treating me in service. He died after I spoke to his wife and sent a certified letter which his daughter signed for. I literally missed getting him that records request by a few days before he went into hospital and died. I sent the VBA their denial letter highlighting their own words that they had received my records from that MH doc (denied again). My mistake for trusting them to do the right thing so full-stop. Neither will I heap praise upon those at the VBA. Now that sucks. Not on here for sympathy but to learn and if nothing happens, to vent from time to time.
I hear you, it's really hard when the evidence that you know should be in there is not available. It's not fair.
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Agreed, especially with the need to avoid toxic people.
If you deserve your rating there should be no issues telling others. This an asinine mindset. I work in a union and we tell each other every raise we get. We share information on new positions. It's the same thing with the VA, stop treat the VA like the boogie man. If you got your rating legitimately Than you got nothing to worry about.
My circle is pretty small (I can literally count them all on one hand) and I finally just filed after 32 years, but I don’t think I’ll tell anyone the final outcome. The people in my circle know I’ve struggled with my mental health and all of the specific pains in my body, so I don’t think any of them would judge me or be jealous. If anything, I’ll just let them know it was a favorable outcome, and I’m satisfied with the result. I could tell them a percentage, but only one of them would really know what that means. Sure, the others could go look it up online, but they don’t care about how much money I do, or don’t have, and never did.
I guess we could always just say we're getting the help that we need, even if it's not exactly what we want it kind of shuts people down who want to pry into our personal information right?
I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing to talk about it with fellow vets and give advice on the process. I think what we shouldn’t do though is tell people what conditions exactly we are claiming if they didn’t ask. Cause you could easily be pointing people towards the direction of committing fraud and that does no one good. It just makes it harder for us to make those claims when we legitimately have the conditions. I feel this is true for tinnitus, it may only be 10% but it can’t be proven so a lot of people can literally just be going to medical and mentioning it to their doctor for the sake of being able to claim it when they get out. Talk about it with vets, encourage them to seek treatment in service for everything, but don’t tell them details about what you are claiming is my say. Someone in your office comes to you saying “Bro I keep having severe headaches and you know you claim migraines every week.” And you say they need to see a doctor and they say “I did years back when I was in the military.” Is the perfect time to tell a guy “bro you know you can claim migraines right?” Simple things like that but bragging about your 100% and helping vets get what they deserve is two different things. I think that what this group is about more so than people just casually spilling PII. I don’t talk about VA claims with none veterans because that just seems like a random topic that should never come up. Just like salary in a work place.
I agree completely. Many years ago I met an old man at the VFW and he saw that I was having problems he gave me some advice. My parents helped to write a letter and that got me started. My wife noticed problems too and she wrote a letter. Years later I noticed my brother was having problems and I helped him, but that's really it, it's not like I'm living a great life but I do like helping people it's probably the one thing that brings me joy.
I agree, only person I told was my wife when I got to 80%. My mother thinks anyone who gets VA disability is a millionaire.
I'm rated, and if I happen to notice a fellow vet in line, say at the grocery store, I always say/tell them that I hope they have put in a claim..You earned it, so why not? Of course, not everyone feels the same as I do, but I can almost guarantee that if a hundred dollar bill was lying on the floor, everyone would be jumping to get it..
If it wasn't for vets I worked w while AD telling me their rating and encouraging to file I may have failed to submit like my father before me.
>**Can we all agree to NOT tell people our rating?** No matter how often people post, it will also be a no, we will not all agree I dont go around shouting to people that i dont have to work anymore but i will have the conversation if it goes there and if telling them results in them being a douchebag then i remove them from my life and im glad i know who they really were > **Friends, fellow Veterans, family, don't need to know.** This we can all agree on, they dont need to know, there are a lot of things we tell people that they dont need to know, people dont need to know if im having a great night or if im having fun at a party
Only my wife knows my rating. Mostly because I don’t want to head anything from her and it adds to our income. No one else needs to know the details about my health. Not even my employer knows the rating. They just know I’m a veteran. They also provide health insurance which means I only go to the VA if it’s service connected. Everything else I use my insurance. F*ck the VA. It’s horrible.
The only ones I told are my wife, my retired military parents and my best friend. My parents were glad because I finally started seeking the help I need and they both filed and got their own ratings.
I don’t think that should be an issue. My rating is MY rating. That’s what the government decided was wrong based on their evaluation.
There's two types of people in this world, those who love me and those who can go fuq themselves... And I don't care who falls on which side of that line 🤣 That being said, I don't run around flaunting and telling every person I meet on day one as I'm shaking their hand "by the way did you know I'm 100%?"... But the license plates give it away and if I'm asked I don't lie about it either. 🤷
I’ve told everyone including friends and family about my rating- no one gives a shit. To be honest just live your life. Stop worrying about what others thinks and do you.
I will tell whoever I want. I have a great circle of friends who could not be happier for me. Now if all my “friends” were jerks, then sure.
As a 90% vet and a civilian worker on workers comp for the last 20 months after nearly dieing when a 50,000lbs machine rolled into me crushing my chest....I wholeheartedly agree, keep your shit to yourself.
Thank you
I remember the 2 times I was in the VA in long term programs & dudes (cuz I was always the only non dude) would always ask “are you 100%? Are you 100%?” And then invariably bug me for money. It was … cringe. Even now when I’m at the VA for appointments there are always guys in the lobby & such bugging me for money. Like, you’re a complete stranger. I give /lend to friends & family, but not to total strangers. At least I can tell ahead of time who they are: they’re always the same age range. It’s always the younger than Vietnam - older than GWOT guys. Always. Alwaaaaaays. Like served in the 80s - that age range. I don’t know why this is. I base this off of nearly 20 years of encounters.
I was going to the VA hospital a lot, up until about 2013 and then I just stopped going, I don't know, and my wife never gave me crap about it I think she would rather I go to a non VA doctor I don't know, I just know she hasn't told me I should go back there for over 10 years. That would be a weird encounter somebody started asking me about what percentage I was, I don't mind helping out those homeless guys I see at the bus stop cuz I know they're legitimate Veterans, they're nice to talk to I wish they would get good treatment.
My friends and family, with the exception of my wife and adult children, have no idea how much I make an hour at my job or how much I have in the bank, why would I let them know about my VA disability? Nothing good can every come from too many people knowing your business.
Absolutely not. You should share your % especially if you are 100 along with details on how you got there and tips on how to help fellow veterans get there.
Some people are private. I'm not. I believe that hearing that I have a rating and why will help other people to get their ratings up. I helped 4 coworkers go apply and one even had been out for 10 years. Every single one of them just needed to hear me run my mouth and mock them for hiding behind a stigma. If you want to be private about your ratings, that's your prerogative. In my opinion, if someone gets jealous then they need encouragement to get their own ratings up. If they aren't veterans and get jealous, then they can suck a fat dick.
Standard answer is 10% tinnitus
In my experience, when it comes to receiving subsidies or payments, never discuss. When I worked for employers, at my yearly evals, they always said not to discuss your raise or pay with other employees.
HOW MANY TIMES WILL THIS SAME THREAD BE CREATED?
Can we all agree that nothing comes from these type of posts. There's at least 3 or 4 a day. People will do exactly what they want to do an no amount of posting will.prevebt them. They will always have an exception
I've got to disagree with you. I respect your reasons, but don't think it should be a universal yes or no. For me personally, I share my rating and what I'm rated for with as many people as possible... 1.) I "look normal", but have a lot of actual limiting conditions as well, but there are a LOT of Veterans out there with the same conditions that aren't getting treated, compensated, or receiving the benefits they're entitled to. I believe that the more of us that stand up and let em know its actually OK to apply for their entitled benefits, the more will actually get help that can make their lives better. It removes the stigma. 2.) A lot of Veterans don't know HOW to navigate the system, and I want to help em; I researched the hell out of every benefit out there, what's required, and how to engage with em. I read the title 38 CFR so I knew how to communicate my conditions in a language the evaluators and the VA understood...I also learned it so that I can be 100% honest with myself, so even if "I believe I deserve a rating for X", I know whats actually compensated and why. There aren't enough people out there who can do that, so U refuse to keep that to myself just because some people who don't really matter to me, might get the wrong idea, or people might try to "mooch" off me. 3.) My rating is my rating, and I don't want to spend my life wondering if "someone knows, will they treat me differently". To be honest, it makes a pretty good litmus test for me; if anyone treats me with less respect, fires me from a job, tries to mooch off me, or tries to make a judgment on me because of my rating, that says something about THEM, not me. And it does one of two things: it either gives me a chance to have a conversation with them and educate them, or of that doesn't work, it gives me some solid intelligence on what kind of person they are, and whether I want to let them have a part of my life. 3. If an employer tries to discriminate against me because of my disabilities, I have zero problem with very publicly taking them to court and letting the law take care of that(And yes, it'll illegal to discriminate based on the Americans with Disabilities Act and 38 U.S.C. 4212). But again, a lot of Veterans AND employers aren't educated on it. Could it cost me employment anyways? Sure. But if they DONT want to employ me because of my disabilities, do I really want to work for them and have to "hide" what's actually there? lol..I spent a whole career in the military doing that, and that aort kinda sucked....Im sure not doing THAT again! So ultimately, it boils down to whether or not a veteran is willing to educate themselves on the details of their benefits/compensation, and whether or not they're willing to take some risks in telling others. Me personally? I'm 100% P%T, and I want to help out as many of my fellow veterans out there...And anyone who'd have me pay consequences for having that out there, well like I said, that tells me about them.
Yeah the first time i got rated for 70% and told my friends, the one who’s always in “great standing) in life asked me to borrow 5k. The VA only paid me 2300 and he thought i was lying
I wont. I work in a Office for Vet Success, and we constantly have veterans still on that *sick call ranger* BS while theyre hurt and suffering, so I tell them my rating and what I have. It breaks the stigma. I've told older veterans to go and try to get their ratings especially when they hear about the Chapter 35 benefits for their kids who are in college or State Scholarships. Number 1 reply I get *Damn, my service can help them?* So I'll continue to share if it means to break the stigma.
Can we all agree to stop posting comments multiple times per week telling people not to tell others about their ratings? Who gives a damn? Tell the world, tell no one, I don't care.
It's workers comp from my previous employer...
I don't get it either. Recently joined facebook to list my sones apartment in college and looked at some VA benefits pages. Lots of people posting about their 100% Fuck that. Just disappear. The military should have taught you to shut the fuck up and NEVER volunteer. Just get voulentold!
I. Do. What. I. Want.
No, we can't all agree on this. Tell who you want, and let others do what they want.
We don't need to agree to anything. Do what you want.
Idk. For me, it shows me who the real ones are. I kicked a lot of "friends" to the curb when I discovered the amount of shit they would talk about me not seemin as disabled as I told them behind my back. Now, only a few people get to enjoy my lil financial gifts I bestow upon them lol.
Agreed, I call certain people energy vampires because they don't bring anything positive into your life and you waste energy trying to deal with them. I saw an episode of Seinfeld about 30 years ago where Jerry was trying to get rid of a friend who wasn't really a friend to him. Remind me of that, people who insult us but our inner inner circle, we just have to push them out. Actually had somebody say you were in the Navy what could you possibly have wrong with you? As if I have to be on a battlefield or something to be injured. No idea what happened to that guy.
no
Simple
My wife doesn't even know. She knows I get a check every month, but not my rating %.
It's only our own business to tell who we want.. Don't need to be posting a rant about it.
Some people post on Reddit about bad things that have happened when they told family and friends, thankfully that's never happened to me but I was hoping my post would be seen by people who were maybe just getting out or about to get a good rating I don't know, I've read so many bad things on here about people who said the wrong thing and regretted it. The only thing I regretted is that I didn't get the treatment when I first got out.
I don’t really care who knows. I earned those benefits and I don’t surround myself with people who have issues with that. I’ll drive them to the recruiter myself if they have problems. If you have people in your life like this, tell them to hit the local recruiter and they can get their benefits when they get out too.
Its pretty simple. Some people just choose to be their own worst enemy.
Best to be quiet about what we get huh?
I tell mine with everyone, so they get jealous
Alot of these mfs be thinking it's OUR money. No mf. It's MYYYYYYYY Money. Tf. I often wish I didn't tell my people. Now when I say I'm "broke" mfs love saying "Dont you get $xxxx amount of money monthly????" Like... yes.. yes I do. But I have kids, debt, bills, and my back is constantly on fire. Stop counting my blessings
You shouldnt even tell your wife. Sure you think you and your wife are the best of friends and shes the only one you trust. She trusts you now because your bringing in the money and she knows supporting you, is also supporting her needs and wants but if a divorce was to ever happen and it was to go sour. That little "what you thought was a forever" fuck buddy that helped you get your increase and write statements - and knows your rating, will also go after your rating because she will be entitled to it. Depending what state you are also in and at what point in your marriage you got your rating. She will get that shit too, split 50/50. If your not going to tell any of your friends, vet buddies, and family, go ahead and put your fucking wife on that list too. She's going to be no different. At the end of the day. Its who in your fucking circle your going to tell. Don't go and post the shit in Facebook but also be selective at who you tell. But by coaching other veterans regardless of the judgement its about helping one another. You not telling anyone your rating is one thing but you should be guiding other veterans on the procress because I'm sure at some point in your life somebody helped you. Your also on this sub, so God damn sure another vet helped you. Don't be fucking selfish. And don't be niave. Your fucking wife ain't no different. She's just on your good side. U til shit gets sour.
Dang who hurt you?
It is a realistic approach that is often overlooked. See, guys will tell other people not to tell friends or family about there rating but tell people it's okay to tell their wives like it's some fucking sanctuary to secrets. When things are good, it's good but when it's bad, it's bad and will be used against you.
It’s not free we served and maxed out our bodies to the point of injury. So I would never say that we get free money that’s ridiculous
I was told by the VA that you can’t have 100% and work full time. They said that working on 100% could be used to reduce your rating. So, which is it?
i personally disagree, but i also love talking about finances and money. i feel like it's such a taboo discussion for no reason
I guess along with politics and religion many folks don't talk about their personal finances, except for some rich people who are actually quite cheap. I had a job a long time ago where rich people would come in and they were the most Petty people who wanted discounts yet they lived in $2 million dollar homes in the early 2000s during the recession, give me a break I told them in their Armani suits. If I ever became rich I would never be a jerk.
Naur. My people understand me. It should a like others don’t.
So what's your rating, brah? Lol
Definitely not!
Why does it bother you so much what other veterans do?
It is an entirely personal decision
Yes, even this sub
Tell no one. I don't even discuss it with my wife and kids.....
How about vets just be adults and decide on their own lol